Flight Paths

As for me, I said in my prosperity, “I shall never be moved.” Psalm 30:6.

 Several scholars believe Psalm 30 concerns the time David numbered the people of Israel and God punished them with a pestilence.  Before we get any further, let me caution you to read this in the 1 Chronicles 21 account and not just 2 Samuel 24.  You will get a much better portrait of David in Chronicles, one much more fitting a “man after God’s own heart.”

 But no matter when in David’s life this psalm was written, he tells us in verse 6 exactly what caused his problem.  In his prosperity he relied too much on himself.  Oh, he recognizes that his wealth and security came from God, v 7a, but he was so smug about it that God “hid His face.”  It was “my mountain,” not God’s, and if this is the time of the numbering, he was so full of himself that he sent Joab around not to take a full census, but to count “those who can wield a sword.”  He wanted to know how strong he was now that his foes were destroyed and his land was at peace, even though God told the people not to worry about such things, but to trust Him.  Even a man such as Joab knew that this numbering was not a good idea. 

 Here is what we as Americans steadfastly refuse to see, even Christians:  there is no temptation so great as prosperity.  Not just wealth, but security and peace along with it.  The scriptures are full of the warnings, but we heed them not.  What do we all want?  To get ahead.  What do we spend our lives doing?  Making money.  What do we dream about?  Being rich. 

 But hear this:  the New Testament does not speak of wealth in any way but as dangerous to our spiritual health. 

   Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth…For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  Matt 6:19,21.

 As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful, Matt 13:22.

 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God, Matt 19:24.

 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions, Luke 12:15.

 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs, 1 Tim 6:9,10.

 Why do we insist on standing in the rattlesnake’s nest?  I understand wanting your children to have more and better than you did, but I do not want their souls at risk, and from everything I see and read in the Book that really matters, that is what wealth will do to them.  If David can fall because of it, so can you and so can I and so can they.  Any time you feel secure in your wealth, in your preparations for the future or for “unforeseen circumstances,” be careful.  God may very well send you a reminder that you cannot count on anyone but Him, just as He did to David.  It may be the most painful reminder you ever get.

​​Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven, Prov 23:4,5.

Dene Ward

 Based upon my experience of the past 7 decades, this book is sorely needed.  Not only has a generation arisen that does not know their Bible like they should, they do not know God like they should, and that knowledge should mean a recognition of His authority and the fact that He expects us to honor that authority.  We have a group that wants to ridicule Nadab and Abihu and gopher wood along with Naaman and his seven dips into the Jordan.  Meanwhile, they live by someone's authority every day and think nothing of it.  They drive on highways by the authority of the state that issued them a driver's license, and obey laws they don't agree with just to stay out of jail or not pay a fine or whatever else that "authority" tells them they must do.  In their own hypocritical way they spout, "No one can tell me what to do," and then do what they are told to do every day of their lives. 

 If anyone has authority in our lives it is our Creator.  This book helps us see in a logical way how to please God in terms we have heard before, and explains them with scripture after scripture, step by step.  The first half of the book contains 13 lessons and accompanying questions which is suitable for high school, college, or adult class—perhaps a new converts class as well.  The last half includes 11 essays on relative topics like instrumental music, institutionalism, names of the church, and creeds, among others.

 Doy Moyer has always been a deep and clear thinker.  I think you will find this book more of the same.

 Mind Your King is printed by Moyer Press.

Dene Ward

When we kept our grandsons last spring, twenty-month-old Judah usually climbed into my lap every evening as we sat at the table for a final cup of coffee.  It took me a minute the first time his little hand reached out in the air, but finally I realized he was trying to catch the steam wafting over my mug, and was completely mystified when it disappeared between his chubby little fingers.
  A lot of people spend their lives trying to catch the steam, vapors that seem solid but disintegrate in their grasping hands.  They do it in all sorts of ways, and all of them are useless. 
  Do they really think they can stop time?  Over 11,000,000 surgical and nonsurgical cosmetic procedures were performed in this country in 2013, and we aren’t talking medically necessary procedures.  The top five were liposuctions, breast augmentations, eyelid surgeries, tummy tucks, and nose surgeries.*
  Then there are the folks chasing wealth and security.  Didn’t the recent Great Recession, as it is now called, teach them anything?  Others are striving to make a name for themselves.  These are usually the same folks who tell Christians how pathetic we are to believe that some Higher Power would ever notice we even exist on this puny blue dot in the universe.  Yet there they all go looking for fame, fortune, notoriety, beauty, or even their version of eternal life.  All of it is nothing more than a dream.  It will disappear, if not in a natural disaster or an economic meltdown, then the day they die—and they will die no matter how hard they try not to.  They are the ones grasping at dreams which are only a vapor that disappears in a flash.
  Our dream isn’t a dream at all.  It is a hope, which in the Biblical sense means it is all but realized.  Sin and death have been conquered by a force we can only try to comprehend, by a love we can never repay, and by a will we can but do our best to imitate.  Yet there it is, not a wisp of white floating over a warm porcelain mug, but a solid foundation upon which we base our faith.  Heb 6:19 calls it “an anchor.”  Have you ever seen a real anchor?  If there is anything the opposite of a wisp of steam, that’s it—solid and strong, able to hold us steady in the worst winds of life.  Tell me how a pert nose and a full bank account can do that!
   The world thinks it knows what is real while we sit like a toddler grasping at steam.  When eternity comes, they will finally see that they are wrong.  Spiritual things are the only things that last, the only real things at all.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal, 2 Cor 4:6-8.

*Information from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery

“I begin by contending that our *lack* of suffering is, in part, due to a *lack of nerve* on the part of the church to challenge our contemporary world with the message of the cross and to live according to the teachings of Jesus with uncompromising rigor. … [T]he contrast between the Christian community’s belief in the gospel as well as its commitment to holy living and our culture’s unbelief in the gospel and its permissiveness *ought to generate more sparks* than it does. I contend that one of the reasons there are so few sparks is because the fires of commitment and unswerving confession of the truth of the gospel are too frequently set on low flame, as if the church grows best if it only simmers rather than boils.” 

(S. McKnight, 1 Peter, 74–75, emphasis in original) 

via Nathan Ward.

 On January 23. 1874, Prince Alfred, the son of Queen Victoria, married Marie Alexandrovna, the daughter of Tsar Alexander II of Russia.  The marriage is pictured as a political one, an attempt to calm relations between Great Britain and Russia after the Crimean War, even though the couple had met when she was 15 and fell in love immediately.  Unfortunately, the couple's own developing friction between themselves began to undo those initial feelings and kept much from being accomplished politically.  The continued tensions in Asia and other realms, didn't help much either.  If ever there was an example it's this—what began as a passionate love affair ended with a philandering, and possibly polygamous, husband, and a princess-wife who was a spoiled Daddy's girl" who had absolutely no one in her new family or country who liked her  They stopped trying to please each other and spent their time pleasing themselves.  Even ropes of precious jewels, royal title after royal title, and crowns in her carefully done hair did not give this lonely woman a happy life.  Her oldest son eventually committed suicide and her unfaithful husband died one month after a diagnosis of throat cancer.

 But the rest of the world got something pretty nice from this affair.  For the wedding, two bakers, James Peek and George Hender Frean created the Marie biscuit in her honor.  "Biscuit" in England is what we Americans call a cookie.  (Our "biscuit" is what they call a "scone," simplistically speaking.)  This particular "biscuit" is lightly sweetened and crisp and became an instant hit.  They are still eaten today, even in other countries than England.  Spain has its own special version called Maria cookies.  We have friends from Zimbabwe who have them at tea most afternoons.  If you care to look, you will find recipes all over the internet. So this couple did not leave much of a dent in history, but their cookie did.  It might be a small legacy, but it is keeping their names alive, especially hers.

 What kind of a legacy are you leaving?  Will people still talk about you after you are gone?  I am old enough to have lost quite a few friends to death.  They certainly live on in my memory, but they also live on in the memory of others.  In our women's class we still talk about a widow who spent her last years putting things in order in the meetinghouse every Monday and Thursday.  Lesson plans and bulletin boards were carefully filed, and new letters for those same boards cut out when old ones had finally become too soft and raggedy to use again.  Even a couple of years after her death, we were finding notes she had left on walls and in the storage room about where to put what and how to use those letters without sticking holes in them with tacks!  Another good sister's name always came up when we were coordinating meal lists for the sick and bereaved.  We missed the dishes she always brought, and that made us stand and talk about our favorites of hers for a few more minutes.

 After both of my parents died, people came up to me again and again as we traveled, or sent me notes or emails when they heard the news, telling me about the wonderful things they had done.  I had grown up watching them serve, of course, but I never heard about the things they did in later years after the money crunch eased up some.  They bought pews and hymnals for small churches.  They would walk up to a preacher who had minimal support that he could lose with hardly any notice, and hand him a check "for something special."  They were the first to donate when a need arose.  And when my Daddy was dying, a hospice worker came to check on him one day, commenting on the big shop fan he had in his garage.  "Wish I had one of those," she said.  "Our air conditioner is out."  When she left that day, he insisted she take the fan.

 My mother passed 8 years after he did.  When I was writing her obituary, it suddenly dawned on me that every one of her children, grandchildren, and their spouses were all faithful Christians.  If ever there was a legacy that speaks on for years afterward, it's that one.

 So what are you leaving behind you?  It doesn't matter that you are still young.  When do you think my parents started working on their legacy?  It certainly wasn't a last minute chore.  Those legacies took years to create, and those years pass far more quickly than you will ever believe—until it happens to you.

 If my children and grandchildren remember my cookies, that's fine but I hope they remember the love that baked them.  And I certainly hope you and I both have a far better legacy to leave the world than a tea biscuit.

“Only be on your guard and diligently watch yourselves, so that you don’t forget the things your eyes have seen and so that they don’t slip from your mind as long as you live. Teach them to your children and your grandchildren.Deut4:9

Dene Ward

We quit buying newspapers when the Sunday insert no longer carried enough coupons to more than pay for it.  However, I remember that occasionally an article would grab my interest.  The business page one week sounded like something you might read in a church bulletin—or at least hear from the pulpit or a Bible class lectern. Notice:

 “A start [to reduce our stress] is to mitigate the desire to acquire.  Folks with a high net worth are frequently coupon clippers and sale shoppers who resist the urge to splurge…Many times the difference between true wealth and ‘advertised’ wealth is that those with true wealth are smart enough not to succumb to the lure of what it can buy.”  Margaret McDowell, “Lieutenant Dan, George Bailey, and Picasso,” Gainesville Sun, 12-14-14.

 When I turned the page I found this:  “Dress appropriately [for the office party].  Ladies…Lots of skin and lots of leg is inappropriate…Keep it classy.” Eva Del Rio, “Company Holiday Party Do’s and Don’ts for Millennials,” Gainesville Sun, 12/14/14.

 Jesus once told a parable we call “The Unrighteous Steward.”  In it, he took the actions of a devious man and applauded his wisdom.  He ended it with this statement:  For the sons of this world are for their generation, wiser than the sons of the light, Matt 16:8.  Jesus never meant that the man’s actions were approved.  What he meant was he wished his followers had as much common sense as people who don’t even care about spiritual things.

 We still fall for Satan’s traps in our finances, believing that just a little more money will solve all of our problems.  We still listen to him when he says that our dress is our business and no one else’s.  It isn’t just short-sighted to think that accumulating things will make us happy—even experts in that field will tell you it’s not “smart.”  It isn’t just a daring statement of individuality to wear provocative clothing, it’s cheap and “classless.”

 If we used our brains a little more, there would be less arguing about what is right and what is wrong.  We could figure it out with a lot of soul-searching and a little common sense. 

 Why is it that I regularly overspend?  Because I am looking for love and acceptance from the world?  Because I trust a portfolio in the hand instead of a God in the burning bush?  Because I have absolutely no self-control? 

 Why do I insist on wearing clothing that is the opposite of good taste and decorum?  Because I do not care about my brothers’ souls?  Because I do care about the wrong people’s opinions?  Because I am loud and brash and think meekness is a sign of weakness instead of strength?  Or maybe it isn’t any of these bad motives—maybe it’s just a lack of wisdom.  Is there any wonder that the book of Proverbs is included for us, and that so many times it labels people with no wisdom “fools?”

 Not just wealth and dress, but practically everything we struggle with could be overcome by being as wise as at least some of the “children of this world.”  Isn’t it sad that they so often outdo us in good old common sense?

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is, Eph 5:15-17.

Dene Ward

The earth is Jehovah's, and the fulness thereof; The world, and they that dwell therein. For he has founded it upon the seas, And established it upon the floods, Psalm 24:1,2.

 Many scholars believe that the twenty-fourth psalm was written by David to celebrate the arrival of the Ark of the Covenant to his new capital, Jerusalem.  When you read 1 Chronicles 13 and 15 and see the great amount of singing and worshipping going on, and then read the words to this psalm, that supposition makes good sense, and the ancient writings of the rabbis attest to it as well.

 However, even here at the beginning of the psalm David sees a danger in settling this manifestation of God’s presence in one location—the people would be tempted to think that God was stuck there, in that box, in that building, in that city, that He did not reign over the rest of the earth, much less any other people.  So he begins this psalm with the passage above to remind them that God could not be put in a literal box, and certainly not in a figurative box of one’s own expectations and understanding.  God made the whole world, and therefore rules the whole world and every person on it.

 David was right to be so concerned.  Ezekiel spent several of his opening chapters trying to get the same point across to the captives in Babylon by the canal Chebar, who believed that God was no longer with them, but still back in Jerusalem.  He is right here with you, Ezekiel told them.  That is the point of that amazing vision in chapter one—God can be anywhere at any time.

 Do you think we don’t have the same problem?  We keep trying to put God in a box called a church building or a meetinghouse or whatever your own bias leans toward calling it.  That’s why we have people who compartmentalize their religion.  They think “church” is all about what happens at the building, and the change in their behavior when they leave that building is the proof of it. 

 A man who can recite the “plan of salvation” in Bible class will cheat his customers to his own gain during the week.

 A woman who can quote proof texts verbatim on Sunday morning will turn around and gossip over the phone every other day of the week.

 A couple who appears every time the door is opened will carry on a running feud with a neighbor and treat each other as if none of the passages in the New Testament apply to anyone with the same last name. 

 What? God asked His people. "Will you act like the heathen around you six days a week “and then come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, ‘We are delivered!’—only to go on doing all these abominations?”  Jer 7:10.  David used the middle of this psalm to remind the people who was fit to come before the presence of the LORD—only men of holiness, honesty, and integrity, not just on the Sabbath, but always. 

 Because they put God in a box called after the covenant He made with them, they thought that their behavior only counted in His presence, forgetting the lessons that both David and Solomon had tried to teach them—God cannot be confined to anything manmade, not even the most magnificent Temple ever built by men, much less a comparatively miniscule box.  As David proclaimed in finishing Psalm 24, Who is this King of glory? The LORD, strong and mighty, the LORD, mighty in battle!...The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory! — Selah. 

 Selah--pause, and feel the impact.

Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD? And who shall stand in his holy place? ​He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the LORD and righteousness from the God of his salvation, Psa 24:3-5.

Dene Ward

Years ago I sang in the evening chorus at the university.  Chorus was required for my degree, and this was the only chorus that fit my schedule, a schedule that included teaching private piano lessons, running a home, and interning as a music teacher in a local elementary school.  Add to that, I was a preacher’s wife—just learning, as he was, but still dealing with extra obligations.

 We had a program scheduled and the director called an extra rehearsal.  That rehearsal did not fit my schedule.  I would have had to cancel a few lessons and more important, miss a Wednesday evening Bible study.  He made it clear that no misses would be excused short of death beds.  So I took a deep breath when I broached the lion in his den the next afternoon.

 My heart sank when I saw three others waiting outside his office.  Instead of calling us in one by one, he came out and stood in the hall and listened as the first one asked to be excused.  “Absolutely not!” he said sternly.  “You already miss too many rehearsals.  If you don’t show up, you will be dismissed from the chorus.”  The next one received a similar reply and the next.  They all left, crestfallen.

 Then he saw me at the back of the line.  “If you have to dismiss me, I understand,” I began, “but my husband is a preacher and we have a Bible study that night.  I just cannot miss it.” 

 I was shocked when a small smile twitched at his lips.  “You I don’t worry about,” he said quietly.  “You are always there.  You listen when I give directions.  You know your part.  You haven’t missed a single performance.  Go to your Bible study.  You still have a place in my chorus.” Talk about relief.  I drove home praising God in my heart.

 Have you read Psalm 123?  That psalm is classified as a psalm of trust, written on behalf of the entire nation of Israel.  Many psalms are full of hallelujahs, with shouts of Hosanna, with dancing and leaping and loud expressions of joy.  Not this one.  Psalm 123 is a quiet psalm.  It is presented as servants watching quietly from the corner of the room for the smallest sign from the master that he wants something. 

 Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he has mercy upon us, v 2.

 Leupold says, “There is nothing powerful, moving or sublime that finds expression here.  A quiet, submissive tone prevails throughout.  It is subdued in character.”  This is simply a servant doing his master’s will in an unobtrusive manner, calmly asking for relief but going about his duty even in the midst of trial, trusting that his prayer will be answered without his further interference.

 I like this psalm.  I have never been one who needs to demonstrate my love for God loudly, yet everyone knows it is there simply from the way I live my life.  If my chorus director could know I was a “faithful student” despite the fact that I was quiet instead of boisterous, certainly God can know the same about my spiritual life.

 God, the Father of spirits, made all kinds of personalities.  And because He made them, he accepts them—just look at the apostles and all their differences.  If He will accept that varied crew, He will accept my worship, even if it is quiet and restrained, as long as my emotion and intent are sincere and obedient.

 Nowadays it seems people are quick to judge others as less thankful, less sincere, and less loving if they sit quietly and say little aloud about their feelings.  This psalm says it isn’t so.  If I sit quietly in the corner waiting for my master’s smallest cue, I may, in fact, be a whole lot more likely to see it than someone who can’t sit still long enough to notice, or be quiet long enough to hear someone besides himself. 

 We are all different, yet God accepts all worship that is “in spirit and in truth,” the brash, the boisterous, even the analytical and the subdued.  Perhaps our judgments of one another should be more subdued as well.

But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious,1 Pet 3:4.

Dene Ward

Today's post is the beginning of a series by guest writer Lucas Ward.

Whatever the eventual relationship between European settlers and the Native Americans, the friendship between the Pilgrims and the Indians is a historical fact.  The Natives were a great help to the Pilgrims and were a major reason that colony survived the first year.  Yet, something odd continued to happen:  the Indians would explain to the Pilgrims how to do something, but leave something out.  When the settlers had trouble, the Natives would say, "Oh, you have to do this.  Everyone knows that."  They grew up in a culture and environment in which certain truths weren't so much taught as absorbed as children.  The Pilgrims grew up in a different culture and environment and had not learned those things.  It sometimes led to great confusion.  Similarly, because of my rearing in the Church, I just don't worry about demonic possession.  "Everyone knows that!", but then I was asked three different times by four different people in a nine day stretch about demonic possession and did they need to be concerned about it. It occurred to me that maybe this was something I needed to address.  I preached two sermons on this and related issues, which I hope to turn into three to four articles here. 

Demonic possession as described in the Gospels is dramatic and scary.  There is a reason Hollywood keeps mining this material to make horror movies.  After reading the Gospels, it makes sense to be concerned about this terrifying phenomenon.  In considering this, the first thing one should realize is that in the Bible demonic possession took place for a very limited period of time.  There are NO cases of demonic possession in the Old Testament.  Yes, Saul was troubled by an evil spirit (1 Sam. 16:14), but that's what he was, troubled.  He was not possessed or taken over by it.  That is the only thing even related to possession mentioned in the OT.  Possession is hardly mentioned in Acts (chapter 19), and not mentioned at all in any of the epistles or even in Revelation.  Biblically, demonic possession was an affliction that began just before Jesus began His ministry and tapered off during the time His Apostles were active.  This matches both OT and NT prophecy:

Zech. 13:1-2  "In that day there shall be a fountain opened to the house of David and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, for sin and for uncleanness.  And it shall come to pass in that day, saith Jehovah of hosts, that I will cut off the names of the idols out of the land, and they shall no more be remembered; and also I will cause the prophets and the unclean spirit to pass out of the land."

When was the time that a fountain was opened in Jerusalem to wash away sin and uncleanness?  When Jesus died for our sins and was raised, right?  This time would also encompass the establishment of the church and its expansion throughout the world, right?  What does God say would happen at that time?  Among other things, He would cause the unclean spirit to pass out of the land. 

1 Cor. 13:8-10  "Love never fails: but whether there be prophecies, they shall be done away; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall be done away.  For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when that which is perfect is come, that which is in part shall be done away." 

Paul here prophesies that spiritual gifts, including prophecy and speaking in tongues, would cease when the perfected, or completed, revelation of God's word was revealed. Sure enough, by the end of the first century as John completed the Revelation, the reports of miracles ceased.  If there are no miracle workers, then there are none who can exorcise demons.  Would God allow us to be controlled puppet fashion by evil spirits with no hope of being cleansed?  Of course not, and I can prove it:  1 Cor. 10:13  "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."  If this passage is true, then we can say definitively that God would never allow us to be possessed that way, as it would be beyond our ability to control.

Why did God allow demon possession during that time?  So Jesus could demonstrate His authority.  All of Jesus' miracles demonstrated His authority.  He had authority over nature (calming storm, walking on water, water to wine).  He had authority over illness, shown by his numerous healings.  He had authority over death, with triple the recorded resurrections of anyone else in the Bible.  He had authority over demonic forces, shown not only by His exorcisms, but His ability to delegate such authority to as many as 70 disciples (Luke 9:1; 10:17). 

Do we have concerns about demonic influences in our lives?  Yes, which is the topic of my next devo.  Do we have to worry about becoming a possessed, evil creature against our will?  Categorically, emphatically NO!

1 Cor. 10:13  ". . . God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability. . ."

Lucas Ward

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not evil, all the days of her life, Prov 31:10-12.

 Bathsheba gets short shrift most of the time.  Due to a lot of misunderstanding of cultural practices, she is accused of things she did not do, and blamed for things that were not her fault, but that is not what we are going to talk about today.  Today we are checking in on David and Bathsheba about thirty years later.  David is near death at the age of 70, and Bathsheba is around 50, or even less.*

 David has promised Solomon that he will be king, that, in fact, God Himself has chosen him to be the next king.  Adonijah, as the oldest living son, has other plans.  He sets about having himself crowned even as David lies on his deathbed.  He isn’t being particularly secretive, but he is very careful whom he invites to the coronation.  David’s mighty men are left out, as well as Zadok, who as a result of all this becomes the patriarch of the new high priest line promised in 1 Samuel 2, and Nathan the prophet also.

 Nathan comes to Bathsheba.  ‘Haven’t you heard?” he asks her.  Then he gives her careful instruction about telling David the news, and goes along with her to verify her story.  Bathsheba seems more than willing.  Perhaps it is a mother looking after the welfare of her son, but for her to have this close contact with David after all these years, when none of his other wives do, tells me their relationship became the prominent one.  She was the favorite, and as any wife would at this time, she made sure he was happy and had what he needed.

 The rest of the story doesn’t really matter to me today.  Maybe it is because I am older now, maybe it is because I have seen so many women doing it up close and personal, but the verse above from Proverbs 31 sprang to my mind when I thought of Bathsheba’s actions.  A good wife will see to her husband’s wishes, “doing him good and not evil,” even when he is no longer able to function.

 And the only way we can do that, ladies, is to ask what he wants.  If you haven’t, you need to sit down together and ask him those tough questions.  If you have a will, and you should, that will help, but perhaps he has other things, not valuable things, but things he cherishes, that he would like to go to someone in particular.  Find out and write it down.  Perhaps he wants a certain man to preach his funeral.  Find out who.  Perhaps he wants certain songs to be sung.  Find out which ones. 

 Then there are the really difficult decisions.  Does he want to be an organ donor?  Does he have a living will?  If he is very ill already, does he have a DNR?  If he were to reach the point that he no longer knows anyone, how does he want to be cared for?

 Life has a way of stealing a man’s identity and our society’s ridicule of the elderly doesn’t help a bit.  The doctor may tell him he can no longer drive.  Be careful what you say to others in his hearing.  You may not think it a big deal, but for some men driving represents more than just going somewhere.  God has programmed into our men the need to provide and protect, and in a society where we no longer face angry natives on the warpath and food is always just around the corner at Publix, he has few ways of doing that.  Driving may be one of them.  Don’t steal his manhood with your comments about this or anything else he can no longer do. 

 We could go on and on with this, but I imagine you have gotten my point.  Because of the emotions involved these things are difficult to talk about, even when we have absolute faith in the reward God promises.  Some men will refuse, but do what you can.  Listen to him when he talks to others and make a note in your mind of what he says if you can’t get him to say it to you, but do your best to know what he wants and then do those things for him when he is lying there completely unable, just as David was.

 An aside here—there are some things a man has no business telling his wife to do.  He should not tell you to never remarry if you would like to.  Especially if you are young, which is a whole lot older than it used to be to me, Paul himself says you should remarry (1 Tim 5:14).  Death breaks the marriage bond (Rom 7), and he no longer has that hold on you.  And of course, anything sinful you can rightly ignore. 

 Back to our point—please do this today.  Do not use your youthful age as an excuse.  One inch either way and a bullet would have made me a widow at 42.  Then there was the "stroke" Keith had when I was 49.  I can tell you sad tales of people who have succumbed to accident or disease even earlier than that.  These days women usually outlive their men, especially if they are several years younger, as I am.  It is only sensible to be ready.  How can you possibly “do him good and not evil” when you don’t know what good he wants?

 And then do this for him too.  Sometimes we women do go first.  Tell him what you want.  If you start the ball rolling, maybe it will come more easily for him.  Once you both have it down, you can rest easy, and on the day when one or the other of you finally do go to that promised rest, the one you leave behind can rest too.

The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away…So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom, Psalm 90:10,12

*To read my take on Bathsheba click on Bible People.  Scroll down several articles and a couple of pages to find “A Case of Mistaken Identity.”

Dene Ward