Flight Paths

From guest writer Joanne Beckley:

Dear parents and grandparents, and any who love children, Do you have goals concerning your children? Are you making sure you are teaching them? I would like to suggest the following list of five scriptural goals which will give your children the foundation on which they can build their faith.   

Goal I: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart” (Mark 12:30).       

1.    Is your child learning of the love of God through the love, tenderness, and mercy of his parents (training and admonition of the Lord)?       

2.    Is he learning to talk about the Lord, and to include Him in his thoughts and plans?       

3.    Is he learning to turn to Jesus for help whenever he is frightened or anxious or lonely?       

4.    Is he learning to read the Bible?       

5.    Is he learning to pray?       

6.    Is he learning the meaning of faith and trust?       

7.    Is he learning the joy and challenge of the Christian way of life?       

8.    Is he learning the beauty of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection?   

Goal II: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31).       

1.    Is he learning to understand and care about the feelings of others?       

2.    Is he learning not to be selfish and demanding?       

3.    Is he learning to share?       

4.    Is he learning not to gossip and criticize others?       

5.    Is he learning to accept himself?   

Goal III: Teach me to do your will; for you are my God” (Psalm 143:10).       

1.    Is he learning to obey his parents as preparation for later obedience to God?       

2.    Is he learning to behave properly wherever he is?       

3.    Is he learning a healthy appreciation for both aspects of God’s nature: love and justice?       

4.    Is he learning that there are many forms of authority to which he must submit?       

5.    Is he learning the meaning of sin and its consequences?   

Goal IV: “Fear God and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).       

1.    Is he learning to be truthful and honest?        

2.    Is he learning to faithfully worship God on the Lord’s Day (and any day)?       

3.    Is he learning that life does not center on money?       

4.    Is he learning the meaning of the importance and value of family?       

5.    Is he learning to obey his conscience – which has been wisely trained?   

Goal V: “but the fruit of the Spirit is . . . self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).       

1.    Is he learning to give to God, whether money he has earned, or in helping others?       

2.    Is he learning to control getting what he wants and to control his anger?       

3.    Is he learning to work and carry responsibility?       

4.    Is he learning the big difference between self-worth and pride?       

5.    Is he learning to bow in reverence before his Creator, the God of the universe?               

– Adapted from Straight Talk to Men and Their Wives by James Dobson

 

I have a hard time seeing cobwebs.  Every so often, Keith will grab a broom, wrap an old rag around it and go around sweeping my ceilings, especially in the corners.  He always ends up with a rag covered in lacy, pale gray webs that had hung from the white ceilings, hidden from my less than perfect vision.

            A few weeks ago, after returning from a ten day trip that combined family visits with a speaking engagement, I was exercising on the porch steps and happened to look at the screen door.  Maybe because I was concentrating on my repetitious step routine instead of simply going in and out, I saw a thick layer of cobwebs wrapped around the automatic door closer.  I looked a little higher and more hung from the hinges.  Yet a little higher and both corners were strung with white.

            These were not small cobwebs.  They were several inches in diameter and so thick the black metal door looked as if someone had splashed white paint on it.  This is what I’m saying:  they were easy to see and had been there quite awhile yet I had missed seeing them.

            Here’s a question for you.  If cobwebs were dangerous in some way, poisonous perhaps, which would be the most dangerous, the ones you can’t see, or the ones you can? 

            Let me make that a little easier for you.  Those cobwebs that Keith gets down for me?  Before he retired I might not have seen them, but I knew they were there—cobwebs always hang from the ceiling.  When any special company was on the calendar, I always got the broom and brushed them down myself.  I knew where to brush whether I could see them there or not.  The cobwebs that hang all over the screen door as clear as day?  Those I never see because I never look for them.

            When we raised our boys we taught them several ways to avoid poisonous snakes.  One was to stay away from places they could hide, like wood piles and thick brush.  We also taught them to look for odd shapes and movement in the grass—the only way to see past their natural camouflage.  But on a cold sunny day, those things won’t be in some dark place, they’ll be right out in the open, basking on a sun-warmed rock or lying in the sun-baked field.  Which ones do you think are the hardest to see, simply because you aren’t looking for them in that place?

            Now think about the dangers in your spiritual life.  Which temptations are the most perilous, the ones you know to look for or the ones you don’t bother to look for?  Which of your faults are the most dangerous?  The ones you are trying to work on, or the ones you refuse to see?

            What’s the moral of the story?  Always be looking.  Don’t fool yourself with that psychological trick called denial.  It won’t make the snakes disappear.  It won’t make the poison less venomous.  You have an enemy who isn’t stupid.  He has great camouflage.  Sometimes he looks like a friend, sometimes he looks like a blessing, sometimes he even looks like you. 

            Do a daily character exam.  Look for the cobwebs in your soul.  Look where you see them and where you don’t.  Or get someone with better eyesight to do it for you, and then listen to them.  “That’s just how I am,” may be the biggest lie anyone ever got you to believe.  Blindness is not an excuse for sin.

 

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds, 2 Cor 11:13,14.

 

Dene Ward

College football has been around as an organized sport since 1869, when Rutgers played what is now Princeton University.  It took a while, though, for it to come to its fruition in what we now recognize as the various divisions of the NCAA and all of its conferences.  Even those took some time to become what we know today.  The SEC, in fact, first included Georgia Tech, Tulane, and Sewanee!

     But though organized college football may have begun in 1869, it was November 2, 1898, before the first man climbed a fence, ran onto the field and attempted to rouse the fans with a cheer.  His name was Johnny Campbell of the University of Minnesota.  Before long, others joined him, and yes, in the beginning it seems that they were all young men.  It was World War II when most of the young men were off fighting a war before young women stepped in as what were first called "yell leaders."  We now call them cheerleaders.

     It isn't just sports teams who need a cheerleader.  I suppose the first true cheerleader for the church might have been Barnabas.  Here was a wealthy man, a good man and full of faith, who not only sold a piece of property and gave the money for the aid of needy Christians (translate that to property prices today for an eye opener), but who was so encouraging to others that the apostles nicknamed him, "son of encouragement/exhortation/consolation" whichever your translation chooses.  He was a man of patience who gently prodded others to become what he knew they could be—John Mark, for example.  He was a man of trust and courage as he introduced the former persecutor Paul to the church in Jerusalem and then went with him to work with the church at Antioch where they received and taught Gentiles.  Truly if there was ever a cheerleader in the church it was Barnabas.

     We all need a cheerleader sometimes.  I remember clearly the many times friends have gone with me when I was asked to speak, especially in the early days.  Their friendly faces in the audience spurred me on when the topic became touchy, though necessary.  Students in Bible classes can do the same for teachers.  Elders need people who encourage the members to follow them, speaking of their wise decisions and the good that can come from their plans, instead of goading them into rebellion.  Evangelists need the same.  For some reason, we seem far more prone to DIScouraging than ENcouraging, and that simply ought not to be.   Imagine a cheerleader screaming, "Lose team!  Lose, lose, lose!"

     But we beseech you, brethren, to know them that labor among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; and to esteem them exceeding highly in love for their work's sake… 1Thess5:12,13.

     But let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teaches in all good things Gal6:6.

   God designed the church as a fellowship that helped each other.  That is why we cannot be a servant of God without being a part of the people of God.  We hold each other up and yes, we cheer each other on, especially when trials abound.    Blessed [is] God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and God of all comfort, who is comforting us in all our tribulation, for our being able to comfort those in any tribulation through the comfort with which we are comforted ourselves by God; because, as the sufferings of the Christ abound to us, so through the Christ our comfort also abounds; and whether we be in tribulation, [it is] for your comfort and salvation, that is worked in the enduring of the same sufferings that we also suffer; whether we are comforted, [it is] for your comfort and salvation; and our hope [is] steadfast for you, knowing that even as you are partakers of the sufferings—so also of the comfort 2Cor1:3-7.

     You may think you have nothing to offer the "team," but when you do so, you are arguing with the plan of God.  When you feel helpless at the plight of others and don't know what to do, you can always cheer.

 

And the hand of the Lord was with them: and a great number that believed turned unto the Lord. And the report concerning them came to the ears of the church which was in Jerusalem: and they sent forth Barnabas as far as Antioch: who, when he was come, and had seen the grace of God, was glad; and he exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord: for he was a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and of faith: and much people was added unto the Lord. And he went forth to Tarsus to seek for Saul; and when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that even for a whole year they were gathered together with the church, and taught much people, and that the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch Acts11: 21-26.

 

Dene Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

Some of you know that I served the state of Florida as a Felony Probation Officer for 7 years. Much of the training was similar to that of a police officer. However, we were Certified LEO's; our arrest powers were limited and usually involved back-up by a Sworn LEO. Since we did not go into places to enforce new law violations but to contact our probationers, we had a measure of safety when entering bad neighborhoods. Neighbors were more helpful than to cops, since they knew the probationer could get in serious trouble if we did not locate him. Over the years, I developed a number of safety rules that on reflection (and under the gun because Dene had major RIGHT hand surgery) I thought these also matched some of the warnings in the N.T. and can serve as practical ways to keep our walk "as he walked" (1 Jn 1:6).

Some Christians go into the world as unprepared as a friend who answered my question with, "I carry my gun when I think I might need it." I replied, "If I thought I would need it, I wouldn't go there." Actually, there is no place of absolute safety for a Christian, not even in church. "Your adversary the devil as a roaring lion walks about seeking whom he may devour" (1 Pet 5:8). At all times we must be armed and ready to defend, not our worthless lives, but our eternal souls.

The "whole armor of God" is pretty much useless to a Christian who is too weak spiritually to hold up the shield or wield the sword. I practiced daily, handling and aiming, or shooting my gun so that I would be confident I could hit the criminal and not the bystander. Sadly, some on membership directories are not exercising much even during church services. Hosea said, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" (Hos 4:6). The Holy Spirit said, "You have need again that someone teach you the rudiments of the first principles of the oracles of God" (Heb 5:12). By being audience rather than workers, they had retrogressed to babes. We must be, "Fullgrown men, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern good and evil."

Many members(?) know more exercises for maintaining their bodies than they do to build up their souls. I benefitted from firearm instructors who reproved me for incorrect techniques and sometimes even got a bit loud. Members fuss because they were offended or, "He didn't do it the right way.' Or, "His manner and tone of voice upset me." Notice, the truth of what was said is never questioned. Spiritual exercise must be done correctly or you will miss the target. Such is not hard, in fact, it is boringly simple, "Adding on your part all diligence in your faith supply virtue; and in virtue knowledge; and in knowledge self-control; and in self-control patience; and in patience godliness; and in godliness brotherly kindness; and in brotherly kindness love." Physical exercise done sporadically just makes you sore and is no benefit. "All diligence." I knew my life might (and did) depend on my skill so I practiced regularly. Peter knew that our souls depend on these exercises, "For if these things are yours and abound, they make you to be not idle nor unfruitful unto the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." And we know unfruitful branches are cut off and burned (Jn 15). He who fails to diligently follow this exercise routine just as well have never been baptized, "For he that lacks these things is blind, seeing only what is near, having forgotten the cleansing from his old sins." He who follows this inspired exercise plan for strengthening the soul, "shall never stumble: but shall be richly supplied unto you the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" (2Pet 1:5-11).

Unfortunately, those who read these devotionals are those who routinely exercise their spiritual being. The ones who truly need these reminders seldom bother.  Perhaps, you could share this to someone you love who needs to hear it.

 

"And exercise yourself unto godliness: for bodily exercise is profitable for a little; but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life which now is, and of that which is to come" (1Tim 4:7-8).

 

Keith Ward

I would like to buy about three dollars' worth of gospel, please. Not too much—just enough to make me happy, but not so much that I get addicted. I don’t want so much gospel that I learn to really hate covetousness and lust. I certainly don’t want so much that I start to love my enemies, cherish self-denial, and contemplate missionary service in some alien culture. I want ecstasy, not repentance; I want transcendence, not transformation. I would like to be cherished by some nice, forgiving, broad-minded people, but I myself don’t want to love those from different races—especially if they smell. I would like enough gospel to make my family secure and my children well behaved, but not so much that I find my ambitions redirected or my giving too greatly enlarged. I would like about three dollars' worth of gospel, please.

SOURCE: Carson, D. A.. Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition

     Another issue Keith has always had with his hearing has been direction.  Even when he can hear something, he is not certain which direction it came from.  90% of the time he is wrong.  We have expected the implant to improve this, and it has, but not completely.  He is wrong only half the time now.  This morning he asked where the pounding was coming from and while he was close—he said north—it was actually west northwest, in fact, close to due west.  We assume this will improve just as everything else has.

     He is not the only one with this problem.  When a new Christian comes with a question about something they "heard," usually on television or a podcast, I always cringe.  Their zeal, which is commendable, often puts them on a seesaw, up with elation and then down again when they find out their new source is anything but scripture-based.  If the first thing all of us learned to do was to ask, "Where did this come from?" we might not find ourselves in such a bipolar state of mind. 

     Learn to ask yourself first, "Did this come with scripture to back it up?"  If not, then chuck it immediately.  Anyone who cannot give you a scripture-based reason, a "thus saith the Lord" as we used to say in the old days, should probably be ignored on general principle.  But suppose they give you a scripture.  Ask yourself if it contradicts any other scripture whose meaning you are certain of.  The Bible does not contradict itself.  If that person has interpreted it in such a way that two Bible principles are opposed to one another, they absolutely must be misusing scripture, perhaps out of ignorance, but perhaps not.  As much as we hate to believe such things, it is possible that this person is deliberately misleading you for the sake of his own agenda. 

     A lot of decent people have been misled by men who were out for no good but their own.  Some have lost their livelihoods; some have lost their lives; many have lost their souls.  Hon Meng Chen, Marshall Applewhite, David Koresh, Jim Jones and others you may not have heard of hoodwinked their believers into signing over their possessions, committing adultery in some cases, and ultimately facing death in any number of ways.  They all started small, with a group who believed a doctrine found nowhere but in their leader's megalomaniacal mind.  "I would never believe such a thing," I am sure they all thought several years before the fact, but ultimately, they failed to check things out.

     Keith's hearing is improving as he gains more experience with the implant, but his spiritual hearing has never been bad.  Yours can be just as good as his.  Don't be like the millions who believe a lie simply because they want to.

 

And then shall be revealed the lawless one, whom the Lord Jesus shall slay with the breath of his mouth, and bring to nothing by the manifestation of his coming; whose coming is according to the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, and with all deceit of unrighteousness for them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God sends them a working of error, that they should believe a lie: that they all might be judged who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness 2Thess 2:8-12.

      Here in Tampa we still take a third cup of coffee outside every morning, but now, instead of seeing our 5 wooded acres, dotted with sheds, bird feeders, and gardens full of flowers, herbs, and vegetables, we sit on a screened porch that looks out at the back fence no more than ten feet away.  It may not be as nice a view as before, but it still serves its purpose as we rehash classes, sermons, and things that need to be seen about in the week to come, usually people who need to be seen about.  I am more likely to have the week's schedule firmly in my head so we can avoid conflicts or, if we find any, figure them out.

     As we sat there a few days ago, Keith suddenly sat up straight. "Listen!  What is that?" he asked.  I knew instantly from all my days up north with bird books and binoculars. 

     "It's a wren," I told him.

     "A wren!" he said in wonder.  "It's been forty years since I've heard a wren."

     Okay, take a big gulp now and blink your eyes really fast to stem the rising tears as I did that morning.  That moment may be the most amazing moment he has had since the cochlear implant was put in and turned on.  I used to sit and listen to wrens for a long time because their song was so loud and clear and beautiful. Yet I knew a woman who had grown irritated with wrens because, "They're so cotton pickin' loud!"  They may have been loud, but Keith had not heard them at all.  I cannot imagine ever complaining about a wren's song.

     I suppose I could come up with all sorts of applications on this one—so could you.  But just consider now the things we often complain about:  song leaders and the songs they choose or how they choose to lead them; Bible class teachers who are studying for hours but are still not public speaking specialists and so are often not exactly riveting orators; preachers who are too blunt, too general, too loud, too long, etc., etc., etc.   But imagine someone who has never heard the life-giving Word of God and how he listens to it.  We can tell you from experience that no one listens to, comprehends, thinks about, studies for, or instantly forgives the imperfections of a preacher or teacher like a brand new Christian. 

     Just what are we taking for granted ourselves?  The timid voice of a new convert as he reads from the Word of God; a congregation of ordinary people singing the best they can if a bit draggy and a lot flat; a small toddler calling out exuberantly during services because, after all, everyone else just did; a young man scrambling around for a passage as he delivers his first talk, voice trembling and face turning a bit red, note papers fluttering in the air conditioner draft; a teenager saying the closing prayer, hesitating here and there, occasionally repeating himself as he still manages to present a heartfelt prayer to the God of all of us, who also sits patiently and listens to far more than just the sounds we make.  Just a little perspective can change a complaint into blessing.

     Have you heard a wren lately?  If you are doing a lot of complaining, maybe you need to go outside and listen for a few minutes.  Maybe you need a change in attitude, and perspective.  Then just maybe you will recognize the soul pleasing sounds you have been missing.

 

And he said, How shall we liken the kingdom of God? or in what parable shall we set it forth? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is sown upon the earth, though it be less than all the seeds that are upon the earth, yet when it is sown, grows up, and becomes greater than all the herbs, and puts out great branches; so that the birds of the heaven can lodge under the shadow thereof. And with many such parables spoke he the word unto them, as they were able to hear it Mark 4:31-33.

Dene Ward

Most of you know that Keith had a cochlear implant put in earlier this year.  I have not reported much about it because it is a work in progress—a slow one.  We have learned many things and found out that most of our assumptions were not exactly correct.

     I suppose I thought that once this was in place that it always worked, that you would hear from then on.  No.  Just like any other electronic equipment, it needs a power source, in this case a battery.  That means you put it on in the morning and take it off in the evening to recharge.  I still cannot call out in the night and expect him to hear me.

     And then there is the "hearing."  The implant itself does not hear.  It simply provides an electronic signal to the auditory nerve and he must learn to translate that impulse into a normal sound or word.  Every day he practices "hearing" with either a computer program or by taking out his regular hearing aid that still sits in the other ear, and the two of us talking.  Gradually he is learning that this noise equals that word.  He is going much more quickly than most, they tell us, but it still seems slow to both of us.  He does the best when he has the hearing aid, the implant, and his usual lip reading in play, but if he is ever to reach the point that he is ready for a second implant, he must get much better using only the implant.  Otherwise, he will be lost if he still cannot "hear" with the first one.

     And then there is the sound itself.  Even when he can translate a word, it sounds more robotic than human.  Sometimes pitched too high and sometimes too low, and very often mechanical.  As one doctor put it, it sounds like a cross between Mickey Mouse and R2D2.  That too, can distort the word for him.  All in all, it is not a miracle worker.  It is plain hard work with moments of discouragement and moments of wonder.  A friend who was born deaf ultimately stopped using hers.  It wasn't worth the trouble to her.  She is not the only one who has ever felt that way.  So far Keith has found the motivation to plod on.

     The fourth week we were sitting at a stoplight waiting when suddenly he reached over and turned off the turn signal.  "How can you stand that?!" he said.  He was hearing a turn signal!  Last week he sat at the dining table and then suddenly looked up at me and said, "Is that clock ticking?"  Yes, the kitchen clock ticks.  "Why?  It runs on a battery."  But you and I would have long ago learned to ignore it.  That is a skill he is having to learn.

     Our spiritual hearing can work the same way.  Sometimes we turn it off on purpose.  If I don’t want to hear what you have to say, I won't listen.  Sometimes what you say sticks out like sore thumb because it is different.  Everyone else just tells me what I want to hear but you have the love—and guts—to tell me what I need to hear.  Sometimes it sounds off a little because that is exactly what it is.  I am supposed to be able to tell truth from falsehood, especially in regard to God's Word.  If it doesn't sound right, don't just accept it or even just ignore it—look it up yourself.  I have seen Keith looking at me and others strangely a time or two as he hears these strange sounds that are voices he must learn all over again to recognize.

     And sometimes what you hear can be the thing that saves your soul.  When you recognize it, you should instantly want more.  You should work harder and harder to understand it because you know your eternal life depends upon it.  You have the motivation while others do not—you believe and they don't. 

     Check your hearing this morning.  Do you need an implant?  Wherefore putting away all filthiness and overflowing of wickedness, receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls Jas 1:21.  The Word of God is worth hearing and obeying.  Don't take it out and turn it off because it offends you or because it takes some work to understand.  Your soul depends on how well you hear.

 

Therefore speak I to them in parables; because seeing they see not, and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand. And unto them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah, which says, By hearing you shall hear, and shall in no wise understand; And seeing you shall see, and shall in no wise perceive: For this people's heart is waxed gross, And their ears are dull of hearing, And their eyes they have closed; Lest haply they should perceive with their eyes, And hear with their ears, And understand with their heart, And should turn again, And I should heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see; and your ears, for they hear  Matt 13:13-16.

Dene Ward

Many years ago my students and I were at State Contest.  It was the Big Deal for my studio, and probably the reason for my waiting list.  The trip was the reward whether you won anything or not, but many did win and their pictures in the weekly paper made free advertising for the studio.

     First they had to play at the district level.  Only superiors were allowed to go to state.  However, you could participate in more than one event.  Voice students could sing in art song and musical theater.  Piano students participated in piano solo, piano concerto, piano duet, and piano trio.  If a student made more than one superior, then they played in more than one event at the State level too, some as many as 4 or 5.  Of course that meant that they often had schedule conflicts, with several events scheduled close together or even at the same time.  The people in charge understood this and put up signup sheets outside the performance rooms.  That is the order of performance that the judges went by.  A student might sign up to be first in one room and last in the other in order to make it to the correct room on time.  If they did not show up, they were marked "withdrawn."

     One year I had students playing in so many events that I felt like an Air Traffic Controller at O'Hare.  I had several to accompany as well, and had to count on them all to follow the plan we had drawn up.  Since most were veterans instead of rookies, I wasn't too worried.  Then I came out of the vocal room after accompanying a half dozen events and found three or four of my piano students waiting on me with tears of desperation in their eyes.  "Mrs. Ward!  That woman won't let us in to play!" 

     Every room has a monitor to gofer for the judges and to control the flow of traffic into and out of the room so the door only opens between performances instead of in the middle of one.  So I had them lead me to the room in question.  Understand, every teacher who brought students had to serve a four hour work stint somewhere—registration, monitoring, serving judges' meals, whatever—or have a parent take their place.  Since I had to accompany so many, one of my parents had filled my spot elsewhere.  When I got to the room in question, the monitor was indeed another teacher.  She sat smugly on her stool outside the door.  This is the woman who had not let my students in even though they had shown her their names on the signup sheet and had told her they had a schedule conflict and were just now arriving.  Somehow, though, her students had gotten into the room.

     I walked up to her and started to ask why my students were not allowed in, but I did not get to finish.  She had seen my nametag.  She knew I was not just another teacher—I was the State Vice-President!  About then, the piano music inside the room stopped.  I knew that piece because some of my students played it, so I knew it was finished.  "Of course they can come in," she said sweetly, and opened the door for us.  Only one more duet team played before mine—if I had not come, they would have been marked withdrawn!  At our next state meeting, we came up with something to keep that from happening again.

     For the 30+ years I taught, I treated those students like they were my own children.  No one was going to mess with my kids!  It's that old Mama Bear feeling that we get with our own children and grandchildren.  Keith has been teaching Revelation recently and we came across something that makes me know God has a Mama Bear side too.  We all know about the mark of the beast in that book.  For some reason that is the only mark the world wants to talk about, especially in books and movies.  But how many of us realize that there is also a mark that God puts on the heads of His own?  And I saw, and behold, the Lamb standing on the mount Zion, and with him a hundred and forty and four thousand, having his name, and the name of his Father, written on their foreheads Rev14:1.

      Ezekiel talks about a mark as well, one for those who sigh and cry over all the abominations done, Ezek 9:4.  God knows who His people are.  He cares for you, just like a Mama does for her babies.  When I went down that hall that day with all those students following me like the neighborhood ducklings follow their Mamas, that teacher knew, even if she had not recognized my name and position, that I was there for them and she could no longer bully them around.

     Sometimes the world treats us unfairly.  Sometimes our neighbors gossip and indulge in character assassination.  Sometimes our families don't understand our first allegiance to God and His people.  But through all the turmoil and suffering, some of which may get much worse in the near future, God knows who we are and where we are.  He doesn't always save us from ugly things, but He helps us get through them and will eventually take us to live with Him because of our trust and loyalty to Him.  Remember that and hang on.

 

Howbeit the firm foundation of God stands, having this seal, The Lord knows them that are his: and, Let everyone that names the name of the Lord depart from unrighteousness 2Tim2:19.

Dene Ward

Part 4 in a four part series.

 

            When caring for someone who is seriously ill, the caregiver often fails to care for herself.  I remember vividly the day my husband had some sort of attack that doctors were calling a stroke.  Meanwhile, I had a seriously abscessed tooth and an appointment for a root canal while he lay in the hospital.  I thought about canceling the appointment regardless the pain I was in, but his doctor looked at me and said, "Go take care of yourself so you can take care of him."  And that, indeed, is the bottom line.

            First I will give you the tips my friends have shared with me, and then we will talk about something else that many good Christian women wrestle with.

            1.  Schedule some time for yourself every day.  It may be devotional time with Bible study and prayer.  It may be exercise.  It may be journaling your feelings as you go through this process.  Whatever it is, make the time to do it.

            2.  Focus on the positives each day.  Don't dwell on the difficulties you encounter, or what life used to be like, or what retirement was supposed to be like.  Cherish each day and focus on creating sweet, new memories with your spouse.  Include your children and grandchildren whenever possible.

            3.  Plan an enjoyable outdoor activity for each day—a walk, a drive, sitting on the porch or in the yard, visiting a friend.  There is something emotionally healing about fresh air.

            4.  Take life slow and easy.  Do nothing in a rush.  Model the behavior that you have requested of the patient, and stay calm.

            5.  Take care of yourself physically—eating balanced meals on a schedule, drinking enough liquid every day, etc.  The last thing you need is to have your own health go downhill in a rush because you "don't feel like eating," or "don't have the time to eat," etc.

            6.  Above all, do not hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, and neighbors.  As members of the Lord's body, people should not just be mouthing, "Let me know if there is anything I can do," but actively looking for things to do for you.  If home and car maintenance are not your bailiwick, ask for help.  We are meant to serve one another and in this way you will not only aid the women in serving you, but the men too.  Trying to do it all will simply undo many of the things we have talked about as you become overtired and completely frustrated.  Making a martyr out of yourself is not the answer to anyone's problems, least of all the patient's.  ASK FOR HELP and don't be ashamed to do so.

           

            And now to that other issue.  Many women have problems taking on the role of caregiver, not because they do not wish to care for their very ill husbands, but because it requires them to, in their minds, usurp his authority as head of the house.  It is difficult for a woman who has been taught to be in subjection, honoring her husband as the leader of the home, to take over responsibilities and decision-making, especially when his weakened ability to think logically may have him trying to refuse the medical care he needs.  The doctor will look to the wife to decide upon the appropriate care and medication, and ultimately, when it might be time to seek care outside the home.  Let me see if I can help those women a little bit.

            I imagine everyone knows Bathsheba, but only in that sad instance of 2 Sam 11 and David's adultery and murder.  What we don't realize is that she seems to have become his favorite wife, bearing him at least four sons.  When David finally lay on his deathbed and his son Adonijah took over the throne against the plans of God and his father David, Nathan went to Bathsheba to tell her about it.  He obviously expected her to step in for her fatally ill husband.  With only a little persuasion she went to David and told him what was happening.  Nathan came in at the appropriate time and vouched for what she had told him.  That took care of the matter, then and there.  But what if Bathsheba had refused?  Let's face it, she had the most to gain because it was her son Solomon whom God wanted on the throne.  It probably looked self-serving of her at the least.  But David was so ill, he didn't even know what was going on; he certainly couldn't do anything about it himself.  Bathsheba looked to her husband's interests when he was no longer physically able.  (1 Kings 1)

            And then we have a very different example.  Abigail's extremely rich husband, Nabal, was "churlish and evil."  When David's men came to ask for some food—during a festival time when there was more than enough and after David's men had protected his workers and herds—he sent them away empty-handed with harsh, insulting words.  David was so angry he was ready to kill Nabal and everyone in his household.  Abigail went behind her husband's back and did what he refused to do, taking a generous amount of food to David and his army and their families, and giving him some wise and godly advice.  (1 Sam 25)

            Wait a minute!  How is that a good example?  This is how:  the man was drunk as a skunk.  He had no idea the danger he had put himself and his family and servants in.  Abigail may not have done what he wanted but she saved his life when he was too incapacitated to see the danger. 

            When your husband is no longer able to make decisions about the important things in your lives, he expects you to take over and do what is best for him.  She does him good and not evil all the days of his life, the Proverb writer says of the worthy wife (31:12).  My husband has told me certain things he wants me to do should he become unable to do or think on his own.  He expects me to carry out his wishes.  How is that usurping his authority?

Talk to your husband now and find out what he wants.  Then when—if—the time comes, be a faithful wife, even if it means doing what his damaged mind no longer wants to be done.  You are not being a bad wife.  You are not being un-submissive.  You are, in fact, being the wife you ought to be, and there is no shame in that at all.

            I hope you have found these articles helpful.  My mother's ordeal is over.  Both she and Daddy have gone on to their rewards.  But my friend's trial continues, as it does for so many.  Today, join with me in a special prayer for those men and women as they fight fear, frustration, and grief to care for their loved ones in the best way they can.

 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  (Isa 41:10).

 

Dene Ward