Everyday Living

322 posts in this category

Embedded Adware

We swapped computers in 2015.  The new one was supposed to be so much better for someone like me, someone whose vision is becoming more and more limited.  Why, it has no wires!  You could pick it up and carry it around with you and no, it was not a laptop.  It was one of those new “all-in-ones.”  Part laptop, part tablet, but with a screen the size of a large desktop.  You didn’t even need a mouse and keyboard.  Rrrrright.  In my viewpoint it will take them a few more years to make this no-mouse-no-keyboard thing work smoothly enough that you don’t find yourself wanting to throw the whole thing through the window at least once a day.

 But it would have been a much easier transition if it hadn’t been a Lenovo.  Does that ring a few bells with the techie crowd?  In 2014, Lenovo began building a third party adware program called "Superfish" into its consumer PCs.  If you have read anything about it, you already know where this is going.  There was so much adware embedded in this thing we couldn’t even read a line of text without pop-ups flooding the screen.  If the cursor ran across a magic word, another would instantly appear.  And the thing kept track of every website you visited, producing even more ads.  Sometimes they popped up so quickly that when you were trying to click on something on the legitimate page, you wound up clicking on an ad instead.  We couldn’t even load our desired programs for all the pop-ups.  But this wasn't the worst of the problem.  This adware made it much easier for hackers to break through HTTPS entirely, and such an attack occurred shortly after the program became public.

 As far as I know, we were never hacked, but this stuff was so deeply embedded that it took at least three trips to Geek Squad to get it out.  And after every scrub, we had to spend time loading the programs we wanted yet again.  The first four months we were actually able to use the computer about 4 weeks. 

 Satan embeds his adware into our culture the same way.  When you can’t even watch a hamburger commercial without “soft” porn invading your living room, when the teasers for the shows you avoid include language your mama would have washed your mouth out with soap for using, and when we are constantly told that we aren’t hip, cool, smart, happy, or the most interesting people in the world without beer, hard liquor, cigarettes, or dancing the night away in skimpy clothes on a rooftop somewhere exciting where whatever you do stays, then you need to watch out for your souls more than ever before.

 The world will laugh at you if you mention Satan.  He isn’t real, we are told.  Only the ignorant believe in a mythological character like that.  If you are a Christian, you must believe in Satan.  If you don’t accept that part of the Bible, why would you accept any other part?

Growing up I thought the only New Testament verses that mentioned Satan were the ones around Jesus’ temptation and the good old roaring lion in Peter.  Imagine my surprise when I looked it up.  I counted 19 outside the gospels, less one for the Peter passage we all know, for a total of 18 others.  Then there were the ones who called him something else like “the god of this age,” and “the Devil.”  And many of them talk about his “adware.”  Check a few of these out.

 2 Cor 2:11 mentions the “devices” of the devil.  Eph 6:11 speaks of his “schemes.”  2 Cor 4:4 tells us he “blinds the minds.”  2 Cor 11:14 tells us he “disguises” himself.  All I have to do is look around and see those devices and schemes every day, not just on television but in the speech and behavior of people who have already been taken in.  Have you ever seen the original “Invasion of the Body Snatchers?”  Some days I feel exactly like Kevin McCarthy, looking over my shoulder to see where the pods are, and wondering which of my neighbors have been replaced.

 One of Satan’s devices are his ministers.  The New Testament warns again and again of false teachers, false messiahs, false prophets, and false apostles. They fashion themselves as “ministers of righteousness” (2 Cor 11:15).  Not only do they appear to be doing good, they even look good.  False teachers on the whole are good-looking and charismatic.  A lot of what they say sounds good and is, in fact, good.  But 90% of rat poison is good too.  It only takes the 10% to kill the rats.  When you keep finding the good in a man you know is teaching error, maybe Satan’s adware has taken hold of your heart already.

 Our culture has become embedded with evil masquerading as good.  We had to have our computer “scrubbed to the bones” to get rid of the adware.  Maybe it’s time we all used a spiritual scrub brush on ourselves before we are taken in too.

 

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep. 2Pet 2:1-3.

 

Dene Ward

 

Seeking Advice

 Seeking advice is a God-authorized activity.  Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life Prov19:20.  I must have found a hundred passages that say the same thing in nearly as many different ways.  One of the main reasons for the church is for us to encourage each other, advise each other, edify and even rebuke each other when necessary.  God surrounds us with older, wiser people who have been through what we are now going through and who want more than anything to help us get through it without the pain they incurred.  Listen to them!

 Unfortunately, very few do.  I have watched again and again with tears and heartbreak as people I love either refuse to even ask for advice or listen to the wrong advice from the wrong people, and ultimately, make mistakes they did not have to make.  When I am online seeing to this blog, answering questions, getting rid of spam, wracking my brain for yet another post to try to help those who take the time to read, I also check the blog's Facebook page and in the process more than once have seen yet another young wife or mother go to the wrong person for advice.  The lesson of Solomon's son Rehoboam falls on deaf ears again and again.

 Then King Rehoboam consulted with the elders who had served his father Solomon when he was alive, asking, “How do you advise me to respond to these people? ” They replied, “Today if you will be a servant to these people and serve them, and if you respond to them by speaking kind words to them, they will be your servants forever.” But he rejected the advice of the elders who had advised him and consulted with the young men who had grown up with him and served him1Kgs12:6-8.  Ultimately, he took the advice of young men who had never been king, had never tried to run a kingdom, and certainly had never cared for the citizens of that kingdom as a godly king should.  That is why the nation of Israel divided—an arrogant young man refused to take good advice.

 Recently I saw a post on childrearing that was linked by a young Christian woman.  I had never heard of this blog or the person writing it, but when I followed the link I was appalled.  The advice this young mother thought so wonderful came from a stripper!  I wanted to cry.  Why, oh why wouldn't she go where the Bible tells us to go—to people who are faithful to God?  And the only answer I could get from reading her own words was that she did not like the advice she got from them.  Like Rehoboam, she was in the market for advice, but only advice she wanted to hear.

 The only way advice will do you any good is to be teachable.  If you already have your mind made up, you will never learn anything.  Once you have decided to seek advice you must find someone who has been there and successfully navigated the waters you find yourself floundering in.  For example, if it's childrearing you need help with, look for someone who has raised godly children.  The more difficult part may be to find someone who loves you and has enough strength to tell you what you do not want to hear.  Most people know exactly what will happen if you tell someone they are wrong about something—you might just lose a friend—so they won't do it.  If you find someone who loves you enough to tell you what you need to hear, love them back by listening and not getting angry.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are profuse  Prov27:6. We all have blind spots.  It takes someone else to see them—or they wouldn't be called blind spots!  Ask that someone and believe what they tell you.  They are not making this up.   Be not wise in your own eyes; Fear Jehovah… Prov3:7.

 When we talk about being Bible believing people that should cover every aspect of our lives, not just how we worship or the steps to salvation.  It means when God says go to certain people for advice, then if you believe His Word, that is what you will do.  Please, please be careful who you seek out for counsel and do not let your own opinions get in the way of following it.  Your family is counting on you.

 

But you must say the things that are consistent with sound teaching. Older men are to be level headed, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may teach the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered  Titus2:1-5.

 

Dene Ward

 

The Freeze 2

About that freeze—we may not have thought to protect our hibiscus, but we most certainly thought about our tomato plant.  It is a Cherokee Purple, an heirloom variety, one of the few that produces well and does not easily catch plant diseases.  They are also some of the tastiest tomatoes you ever put in your mouth.  So yes, Keith dug around in the garage and found an old sheet that was large enough to cover the tomato which stood a good five feet high in its planter against the side fence.  Then he rooted around further for the trouble light and an outdoor extension cord, scrounged up a lightbulb and put it under the sheet and plugged it in to the outdoor outlet.

 Neither one of us thought a thing about it until he removed the sheet two days later and felt no warmth at all.  He hadn't thought and had put an LED lightbulb in the trouble light!  Whereas incandescent bulbs will give you plenty of warmth for temperatures of about 30 degrees, an LED won't warm anything at all.  All we had done was protect it from frost.  The fact that the sheet held the plant's own warmth and it sat so close to the house, kept it from being completely destroyed.  We lost a few leaves and the ends of a limb or two, but the dozen or so tomatoes hanging there were still alive and with a few days of warmth they ripened—but it certainly wasn't our fault.

 Some people are a little like LED bulbs.  They may say and do the right things, but there is no heart in it at all.  You can tell when someone truly empathizes with you and when it's just the standard talk.  Trust me, the preacher knows when, "Good lesson," accompanied by a handshake is truly meant and when it's just a pro forma comment as one leaves the building.  If one is honest, he can tell when a correction from a brother comes from a heart of love that truly cares and when that correction comes with a "So there!" hidden among its words. 

 And God can tell when our obedience comes from a sincere heart of love and devotion and when it's just checklist religion.  When the works don't match the words it has become painfully apparent that the obedience is not heartfelt. 

 Compassion, comfort, love, sincerity—all of these conjure up warmth in our minds, people who truly care and have truly devoted their lives to living like Jesus did.  Don't plug in an LED light instead.

But thank God that, although you used to be slaves of sin, you obeyed from the heart that pattern of teaching you were transferred to  Rom6:17.

By obedience to the truth, having purified yourselves for sincere love of the brothers, love one another earnestly from a pure heart1Pet1:22.

Dene Ward

 

Just Filling the Time

When I did my internship as a music teacher in the public schools, I looked up one day to find my professor walking into the music room behind the fifth grade class scheduled for that half hour.  My heart sank.  I did have a lesson prepared, but it was not a wow-zer.  It taught a valid musical concept, one I could easily build on in future lessons—the first of what educators call a “unit.”  I had prepared a lesson plan with appropriate behavioral objectives.  It met all expectations and requirements.  But to me, it seemed so—well, ordinary.

 I taught that lesson twice in a row with no problems.  The students caught on quickly and I met the objectives with no difficulty.  After the second group left I approached the tall, slim, dignified looking lady, expecting her to meet me with, at best, a mediocre assessment.

 â€śGood job,” she said, and when my jaw dropped she added, “Listen:  they can’t all be showstoppers.  You taught an important lesson and you taught it well.  They learned exactly what you set out to teach them and they enjoyed it.”

 I learned something that day, something I keep reminding myself as I approach the computer day after day, struggling sometimes to find something to write.  Just do your best.  Turn in a good effort, be faithful to the Word God has entrusted you with, and let Him take care of the rest.

 Sometimes I hear from people telling me that what I wrote was exactly what they needed that day.  A few times it was a piece I almost deleted because I was so dissatisfied with it.  The same thing has happened to Keith.  When you preach two sermons a week, every week, you occasionally produce one just because you needed one to fill the time one Sunday morning, not because you were particularly enthralled with the subject.  Many times people have complimented those very sermons.  At least one of them led directly to a conversion.

 Many times we feel unnoticed and totally useless to the Lord.  We think we are doing nothing for God because nothing we do matters.  Nonsense.  More people are watching you than you know.  You need to learn the same lesson I did. 

Every day can't be a showstopper.  Some days are so ordinary as to make you wonder why you exist.  You get up, you go to work, you come home and spend time with the family.  You pay your bills on time and help the neighbor with his ornery lawn mower, perhaps even mowing his yard for him.  You study your Bible, and then you hit the sack and get up and go again the next morning, an ordinary--you think--honest, hard-working Joe.

Or you get up and down all night with the baby and barely know you are sending your older ones off to school because you are so tired.  But then you still do the grocery shopping and prepare the meals and launder the clothes.  You wash dishes and scrub floors and dust the countertops and shelves, change the sheets, then throw together an extra casserole for a sick neighbor, help the kids with their Bible lesson and then their homework, and fall into bed exhausted.

Or you sit at home alone because you are too old and sick and frail to get out any longer, so you watch a little TV, read your Bible, call a few folks on the sick list (besides yourself), write a few get well and sympathy cards, then go to bed and start all over again tomorrow.

And all of you wonder, what good is that to anyone?  Well, you never know, especially when you count God into the mix.  He can work wonders with the weak, the frightened, and the average.  He can take the smallest seed you plant and make a huge tree out of it.  Don’t you remember a parable along those lines?  In God’s hands, nothing you do is just filling up time.

So get up every morning and do what you are supposed to do in the way you are supposed to do it.  Someone out there needs to see you do that, and if you do, God will take care of the rest.

 

I planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that plants anything, neither he that waters; but God that gives the increase. Now he that plants and he that waters are one: but each shall receive his own reward according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow-workers...  1Cor 3:6-9.

 

Dene Ward

 

The Natural Reaction

I recently came across an article titled “How to Avoid the Natural Reactions that Affect Good Decision Making.”  It is too long to go over here, but it did make me realize that natural reactions can be controlled.  How?  The author, who was not interested in spiritual matters at all, listed several ways, but they all boiled down to this—control yourself and do not let those “natural” reactions rule you.  The Sermon on the Mount is full of exactly those kinds of statements.

 Rejoice and be glad [when others revile you and persecute you] for so persecuted they the prophets before you.

 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.

 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

 And that’s only a few from Matthew 5.  This is not easy, but I think the key is this:  God doesn’t expect us to control our natural reactions—he expects us to change what comes naturally to us.  And He expects us to do it during the most difficult times of our lives.  His people have been doing it for thousands of years.

 Jesus went to Peter’s house one evening and found his mother-in-law lying sick with a fever.  What did she do the moment she was healed?  And he came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and the fever left her, and she began to serve them, Mark 1:30.  How many of us would have taken the next few days off to recuperate, expecting a little more sympathy too?

 The apostles were arrested and put in prison, then brought out and beaten.  What did they do? Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name, Acts 5:41.  Rejoicing at being beaten?  That certainly wouldn’t be my natural reaction.

 Stephen was stoned for what he preached and what did he do as he lay dying?  And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep, Acts 7:59-60.  Impossible, you think, to forgive your murderers, but not for Stephen, a man “full of grace” Acts 6:8.

 Aquila and Priscilla were run out of Rome, forced to leave their home because of persecution.  What did they do?  They set up shop in Corinth and offered Paul a place to stay for as long as he needed (Acts 18:1-3).  Me? I probably would have pleaded a need for time to get organized and put my life back together before I put my home in the upheaval of a long term guest.

 Paul and Silas were beaten and thrown into prison.  What was their reaction? About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, Acts 16:24.  They were aware that “others were listening to them.”  I’m not sure I would have been aware of anything but my own aches and pains, and completely unconcerned about what others were going through.

 And what did David do immediately after his child died?  Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped, 2 Sam 12:20.  At this most horrible time for any parent, David worshipped.  Is it really surprising?  Job did the same thing, and he had lost all his children.  Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped, Job 1:20. 

 It seems that the natural reaction for a true child of God who undergoes any sort of trial is to turn to his Father, to serve, to worship, to pray, to sing, even to forgive.  I am usually more interested in my own welfare than anyone else’s.  I tend to forget anything spiritual and concentrate on my own physical or emotional pain as if it were the most important thing there is.  Is that what a Christian should do?  These people tell me otherwise, and I could have found many more examples. 

 Truly I have a long way to go, but this maybe I can remember:  If I have become a new creature, then what is “natural” about me, including my reactions, should have changed too.

 

Now the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him; and he cannot know them, because they are spiritually judged. But he that is spiritual judges all things, and he himself is judged of no man, 1 Cor 2:14,15. 

 

Dene Ward

 

My Apologies

Have you ever apologized to anyone?  Let me rephrase that.  Have you ever apologized in the Biblical way?  You mean there is a difference?  I think there is a huge one.

 The first two definitions of “apology” in my Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary are 1} a formal justification; a defense; and 2) an excuse.  The original word is Greek, apologia.  Paul used it in Acts 22:1 and 25:16 when he made his “defense” at his trials.  Understand this, in no way was he admitting wrong, and none of us would have expected him to.  He was in trouble for preaching the gospel.  He was defending himself, giving “a formal justification.”  That is not the kind of apology I am talking about either.

Yet that is exactly the way most of us apologize—we defend ourselves.  We say, “I’m sorry you got hurt,” placing the fault on the other person, instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you.”  We say, “If I did anything wrong, I’m sorry,” as if to call in question the one we are “apologizing” to.  We give excuses for why we did what we did to make sure everyone knows “it wasn’t my fault.”  We do everything we can to avoid admitting wrong.

 Webster finally gives this as his last definition:  “An admission of error accompanied by regret.”  More to our point, this is the definition Jesus gives:  if he sin against you seven times in the day, and seven times turn again to you, saying, I repent; you shall forgive him.  Luke 17:4.  If he “turn again to you saying, I repent.”  No defense, no excuses, no justification, just “I was wrong.”  Have you ever apologized that way?

 I daresay most of us have not.  Yet that is exactly the way we are to apologize to God too.  Have you? Or do we, in our prayers, justify ourselves with phrases about being “only human,” or about “how hard it is, Lord,” or even “how mean he was to me first—you know he provoked me, Lord.”  What God expects from us is change for the better, Vine’s definition of the word.  That necessarily involves admission of guilt.  If not, why would we need to change?  And that is the same word Jesus used in Luke 17: 4.  “I repent,” plain and simple.

 So I ask you again, have you ever truly apologized in the Biblical sense, what Jesus called “repentance?”  The next time you begin with, “I’m sorry,” just stop after that second word.  Don’t allow yourself excuses or justification.  Just apologize.  You cannot correct error in your life without admitting it first, and once it’s been admitted, if you truly are a child of God, the responsibility to change cannot help but affect you.

 

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5.

 

Dene Ward

Long Term Investments

This blog is a long term investment.  It debuted August 2, 2012.  But even before that, I began writing devotionals that I sent to a small email list three times a week.  That first list contained 32 names.  Many times I have thought about quitting, especially when I looked at a blank screen and could not think of a thing to write, but knew I had to if this thing is going to stay alive.  “Why?” I think, especially since I rarely get feedback and sometimes wonder if anyone else cares whether I bruise my brain for a couple dozen hours a week anyway.


 My average pageview day runs 300-400, with an occasional spike of 2000+.  I have now passed over a million pageviews total.  But look back where I started—32 names.  It has taken many years of hard work, truly a long term investment.  I would never have made it this far if I had given up.


 Life is made up of long term investments.  Education, marriage, children, career, mortgages, as well as stock portfolios, and many other things take years to show any profit, any growth, any benefit.  In spite of our instant gratification society, most of us know this about life:  some things are worth the time and trouble and the long, long wait, and many of us manage to avoid quitting.


 Why do we forget that in our spiritual lives?  We become Christians and expect overnight that our problems will disappear, that our temptations will cease, and that our faith will move mountains.  Then reality sets in and instead of working on it, we give up.  We go to an older, knowledgeable Christian and ask for help in learning to study, but after two or maybe three weeks of making the time to meet and finding the time to do the studies he assigns, we quit.  It’s too tedious and we are too busy.  We thought there was some get-wise-quick formula.  It’s just the Bible after all, not rocket science.


 It’s perfectly normal to have bouts of discouragement.  David did:  How long O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  Psalm 13:1.  Asaph did:  All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence73:13. I’ve tried and tried and gotten nothing for it!  Why bother?  And then they remind us to look ahead, because it is a long term problem with a long term solution.  In just a little while the wicked will be no more…you guide me with your counsel and afterward you will receive me into glory.  Psalm 37:10; 73:24.  Sometimes the wait seems long, especially when we are suffering, but faith will be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him 37:7.


 And if you are floundering a little, wondering perhaps if you will ever make it, if your faith will ever be strong, if you will ever be able to overcome temptation on a regular basis, give yourself a break.  This doesn’t happen overnight.  Are you better than you were last year?  Did you overcome TODAY?  That’s progress.  Keep working at it.  No one expects to lose 100 pounds in a week.  Some of us have way more than that to lose spiritually. 


 The reward is worth the waiting.  It is worth the struggle.  It is even worth the tedium of learning those difficult names and the exercise involved in buffeting our bodies.  But you won’t get there if you give up, if you say, “This is boring,” or “I’m too busy,” or “I can’t do it.” 


 I have many new friends because of something I started a long time ago during a difficult time of life.  I cannot imagine being without them now.  I certainly don’t want to be without the Lord.
 
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised, Heb 10:36.
 
Dene Ward

Bleachers

 It's amazing what having children can do to you.  You find reserves of strength you never knew you had when their temperatures rise and their chubby little cheeks turn rosy with fever.  You find you can do without sleep or food far longer than you ever expected.  Even more astounding, you find the Mama Bear that has been lurking unexposed your whole life until the very second someone looks at your child cross-eyed, much less actually threatens them. Grandchildren add a totally new dimension to all of this.  At least when your children are young, you are still in relatively good shape physically.  But for your precious grandchildren, arthritic knees, stiff backs, and eye-blurring cataracts will not stop you from your appointed rounds!

 Silas is in high school now, playing his first year on the varsity basketball team.  Living with a house full of men all these years, I have learned enough to know that his defense is stellar, with 2 or 3 steals and 4 or 5 rebounds a game.  He is also an assist "machine," some of which are so crisp and clean they take your breath away.  Besides all that, he makes a few points every game, yet does all of this in usually about 2 quarters since he is not yet a starter—but would be if Grandma had a vote.

 As supportive grandparents, we bought season tickets to the home games and rarely miss one.  Unlike the flag football team—where he is known for his touchdown receptions and interceptions—basketball games are played in a gym.  The home gym is 59 years old and I would bet the bleachers are the same age.  The orangy brown wood is scuffed from years of sneakers, Keds to Air Jordans to Ohtani's New Balance, I imagine.  At the bottom in the middle is something they call a step, which leads you to the top.  Evidently, 59 years ago, people were much taller, or at least had longer legs.  This "step" is higher than my knees, my achy arthritic knees.  So now they tell me to climb on up.  Pardon?  I can barely lift my foot that high, much less actually climb up.  No one is sitting there, I think, so why can't I just sit down myself?  Because, in pretty black stencil are the letters "NOT A SEAT."

 The first time I tried to step up nothing happened.  So I rocked back a step and gave it another try.  Still no go.  At this point Keith lifted on my elbow.  I am here to tell you the elbow is NOT the problem.  A lady sitting to the side on the second row reached out and asked, "Can I help you ma'am?"  I had no idea who she was, probably a fan from the other team, but she was obviously a well-bred Southerner—the ma'am always gives us away.  Meanwhile, the line behind me is growing longer.  Finally, someone—I have no idea who but just as obviously an NFL fan—gave me a "tush push" and I made it up the step.  The remainder of the steps were built for us ordinary folks so I made it to my seat.

 This has happened at every home game.  By now I am the pre-game entertainment that the whole crowd breathlessly waits for.  Even if their own team loses, they get to watch an old lady make an absolute idiot out of herself.  But I do it for my grandson and I would do it every day if I had to.  I went to a flag football game and nearly got creamed by a player going out of bounds as I sat on the sideline.  The young man found out he was really good at hurdles.  I went to a play and sat in front of a wiggly group of kindergartners.  I babysat for 18 days and by the time it was over I could hardly move I was so tired. I "ate" spaghetti and meatballs made of pine straw and rocks.  I kept chicken nuggets in my freezer along with curly fries for one and sweet potato fries for the other, and always kept the cookie jar full.  You do these things when you are a grandparent, and you don't mind a bit if you look or sound ridiculous doing it, if it's tiring, inconvenient, or embarrassing.

 For, I think, God hath set forth us the apostles last of all, as men doomed to death: for we are made a spectacle unto the world, both to angels and men.  We are fools for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ; we are weak, but you are strong; you have glory, but we have dishonor. Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwelling-place; and we toil, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure;1Cor4:9-12

 Paul said the apostles were willing to be made a spectacle for the sake of Christ, his gospel and his church.  How about us?  I am afraid we are too proud sometimes.  Who wants to look different than the rest of the world?  I honestly think that is the real reason for immodesty, not the desire to show off skin.  We just do not want to be different.  My skirts were the longest ones in my high school class, along with two other Christians.  Unfortunately, there were more than two other Christians at the school.  Lucas finally gave up on the high school baseball team because the locker room talk was so vulgar, coarse, and crude.  My own Daddy was ridiculed at work because his language did not match the other workers'.  They called him, "Shucks," but you know what?  I never even heard that word come out of his mouth.

 What are we not willing to do for the Lord because it will affect how we are perceived by our neighbors, coworkers, or unconverted family?  In our old home, we were friends with some Mennonites.  Do you think those women and girls were never stared at when they went grocery shopping?  Their long skirts and modest tops, their hair pinned high in something resembling a snood, definitely garnered attention from others, most of it unkind.  While I do not believe we need to be that careful, I find myself wondering if any of us could take it if it were required by God.  Can we really say we love the Lord our God with all [our] heart and with all [our] soul and with all [our] might (Deut 6:4)? 

 I will do most anything for my grandchildren, just as I did for my children.  I do it because of how much I love them.  Maybe we should ask ourselves if we love God and our Lord Jesus that much.

 

For the love of Christ constrains us; because we thus judge, that one died for all, therefore all died;and he died for all, that they that live should no longer live unto themselves, but unto him who for their sakes died and rose again2Cor5:14,15

 

Dene Ward

Rough Drafts

I took my first writing course as a junior in high school.  Our first assignment included stapling the rough draft to the final copy.  Imagine my surprise when the teacher handed back my paper with this written across the front of the rough draft:  This is too neat.  You didn’t make enough changes and corrections.  A rough draft should look that way—rough!

 Then I looked at my finished paper.  I saw words marked out, phrases circled and “pointed” by an arrow to another place in the sentence.  I saw other words added, and suggestions made with question marks beside them.  Whole sentences were bracketed and directions written above:  “make these phrases parallel;” “needs a concrete noun;” “get rid of the intensifiers.”  In fact, what I saw before me was a real rough draft, exactly how my own should have looked. 

 As the class continued and I learned better writing techniques, my rough drafts became messier and messier.  Sometimes at the end, it took me a half hour to decipher the code of scribbled notes and write what I wanted to turn in.  But inevitably, the rougher the draft, the better the finished product turned out. 

 I learned not to “fall in love with my own words,” as my teacher called it.  I took a red pen to my own creation and marked out words like a safari guide slashing through brush with a machete.  I kept a thesaurus handy to help with vocabulary choices, making nouns and verbs so concrete that few modifiers were even necessary.  I not only got rid of intensifiers, I deleted delayers too, then I worked on turning 8 word clauses into 4 word phrases, concentrating the effect of the writing, rather than diluting it.  Sometimes I even deleted whole paragraphs. 

 Before long I could write better the first time around, but still see places to improve on the read-through, smaller things that would have gotten lost in the obvious mess beforehand.  Even now, when reading something I wrote years ago, I automatically go into edit mode.  Even after it’s put on the blog, I notice things I wish I had changed.  What I said wasn’t wrong, but I could have made it just a teensy bit better, even after the half a dozen edits I always do.

 Today should be your life’s rough draft for tomorrow.  Every evening you should go over your actions, your words, your attitudes and see where you need to “edit.”  If you don’t see anything, you are obviously new to the idea like I was the first time I tried.  My first paper sounded pretty good to me, so I didn’t see the need to change much, but if you were to find it somewhere after all these years, I bet I could hack it to pieces in ten short minutes now.  That is how we need to get about our lives if we ever expect to improve as children of God and become spiritually mature.  We must learn to see the changes we need to make, the faults we try to hide from others and only wind up hiding from ourselves.  If I make the same mistakes every day, then my rough draft isn’t rough enough.

 Let me quickly say this: God doesn’t want you constantly discouraged, thinking you are never right with Him because there is always something you could have done “better.”  God wants us to know that we have eternal life, according to John (1 John 5:13), and that happens because of grace—not because you are perfect.  But that is a far cry from the complacency that believes it already has things figured out, doesn’t need to learn anything new, and always sees the faults of others without ever considering that it might possibly have one or two itself.

 Today, write your rough draft on the paper of time.  Do the best you can.  Then tonight, see what needs editing.  If you write the same thing tomorrow, you are still just a beginner in this class, no matter how old you are.  It’s time to get to work.

 

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, Eph 4:15.

 

Dene Ward

The Fallen Limb

We live on wooded property—spreading live oaks, pencil straight slash pines, red and silver maples, fast-growing sycamores, sweet gums with their spiky balls, wild cherry and water oaks, both of which will split and fall at the least breeze.  When I walk Chloe around the perimeter I dodge fallen limbs, both deadfall and green, every ten feet or so.  Sometimes I find larger limbs that have fallen overnight, and once one fell right in my path just seconds after I had passed. 

 Often in the night, especially a windy one in the spring or fall as fronts pass through, I hear limbs hit the roof.  They are surprisingly loud and I awake expecting to find something large and heavy only to waste Keith’s time as he climbs the ladder to discover a two foot long twig no bigger around than his thumb.  It certainly sounded bigger than that!

 A few months ago, after a particularly windy winter storm, Chloe and I came upon a fallen pine limb, three feet long maybe and about two inches in diameter.  This one, though, was not lying on the ground.  The wind had cast this one with enough force that it had stuck straight into the ground through the sod.  I pulled it out and a full six inches of it was below the surface.  Imagine if that one had come hurtling through the sky at me as I walked by.

 Words are a bit like fallen limbs.  You never know who they will hit and how.  We are often just as careless as the wind in hurtling them about.  We may think the only one who hears is the one we are addressing.  We may think that everyone knows us and understands how it is meant.  We may think that what was said was perfectly innocent and completely impossible to mistake for something bad.  We may be very wrong.

 Yes, people need to listen with as much charity as we need to speak.  The Bible, particularly the wisdom literature, is full of cautions not only about how we speak but how we listen.  Even Jesus said, “Take heed how you hear.”  Hearing involves maybe as much responsibility as speaking. Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others, Eccl 7:21,22.

 But just maybe we could stand to be a bit more careful in our speaking.  Words can hurt, and unlike physical wounds, may never heal.  What sounds like a twig to us may sound like a massive branch falling on the roof to the hearer.  And a multitude of the same kinds of words has an effect that is hard to erase.  What kinds of words do I use the most?  Praise or criticism?  Thanksgiving or complaining?  Encouragement or rebuke?  Tough love is necessary and is necessarily painful, but do I ever practice any other kind?  Are all my words, or even just the majority, “tough?”  And am I proud of having that sort of reputation?  Do people cringe when they see me coming?

 Those things I can control, but what about the things I say that are not meant to harm, but still manage to do so?  What about things I toss off without thought, directed at no one in particular, but that, like a fallen limb, accidentally come close to someone else’s heart?  Yes, for those who are mature, we can go back to the responsibility laid on hearers in that Ecclesiastes passage and in Jesus’ and the apostles’ words about being quick to judge, but what about the perfectly innocent babes?  What about young impressionable Christians? 

 If I shoot a gun into the air, the bullet will land somewhere, and my having shot it will make me accountable to the law of the land.  Will God’s law hold us any less accountable for the spiritually injured? 

 

I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned, Matt 12:36,37.

 

Dene Ward