We just returned from a birthday party—a double birthday party, which meant twice as many guests, twice as many cakes, and twice as many gifts.  It also meant twice as much time unwrapping the gifts. 

That last part did not bother Silas at all, but it seemed to bother Judah a little.  He started playing with one gift and then was handed yet another to unwrap.  So he had to stop playing and unwrap.  Once it was done, he started playing again, sometimes even went back to the first one he had unwrapped, but then he would be handed another.  You could almost see his little brain forming the thought, “There is such a thing as too many gifts.” 

The next morning even Silas had trouble with the number of gifts.  I sat and watched him go from one to the other, back and forth.  I wondered if he wasn’t finally realizing, you can only play with one toy at a time.

Have you ever read Proverbs 31 then slumped your shoulders in defeat and thought, “I can’t possibly be that woman?”  Take heart.  God does not expect you to have every gift this woman has, nor to play with them all at once.  Just think for a minute:  what does he tell those Corinthians in chapter 12?  Some of you have this gift; some of you have that one.  Some of you have yet another.  Don’t try to be what you are not—just use what I give you the best you can (the Ward version).

Cooking I can handle, most of the time.  Bookkeeping I have down pat.  But the only things I can do with a needle and thread are sew on a button, take up a hem, and mend a seam.  I can’t darn, quilt, crochet or knit.  I have made clothes and worn them, but I consigned them to an early death as soon as I had replacements.  I have finally learned to master the pressure canner instead of cringing in fear, but I couldn’t decorate one wall much less a whole house—I have no eye for it.

Do you see the point?  The Proverbs 31 woman is the ideal.  God lists it all, and it gives us some sense of duties in the home.  What it doesn’t do is command us to be some sort of Jill-of-all-Trades Renaissance Woman.  It just says, this is where the center and purpose of your life and everything you accomplish in it must be—your family.  Be the best cook or the best seamstress or the best gardener or the best organizer or the best comforter or the best home businesswoman—or maybe two or three of those--whatever present God has given you to unwrap.  Do that, and you have “done what you could.”

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness, Rom 12:4-8.

Dene Ward

Part 2 in the Series. 

Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people, Titus 3:1-2.

You would think a Christian wouldn’t need such reminders, but look at the list above.  Aren’t these the most difficult things for us to do?  To submit to someone else’s decisions, especially if we seriously disagree with them; to obey even when you had rather not; to be eager to serve others; to stop arguing and just accept; to be kind, even to those who do not deserve it; and to be courteous, even when people are not courteous to us—none of these things comes without effort.  In fact, they usually don’t come at all, and when their opposite surfaces, we are full of excuses.  He did it first; he needs to see what it feels like; if he can do it, so can I.  No you can’t.  Not and stay faithful to the Lord.

Did you notice that most of these things are simply a matter of submitting one’s will to another?  And God always says that the reason for this is “the Lord’s sake” not the sake of the person you are submitting to, and that’s why we fail so often.  We look at the wrong person and when we see that person doesn’t deserve such submission, we find excuses.  You see it every day on the pages of social media—rants about the government in words that are hardly “submissive.”  Even if you do obey, the submission is not there.  Let me ask you husbands, would you call a wife who rants at you in the same words you do at the President and congress “submissive?”  Parents, would you accept the attitude of a child who, while he ultimately obeyed, rolled his eyes and made sarcastic remarks while he did so?

And so we have to be reminded to behave ourselves, every bit as much as a child needs that reminder, because, like a child, we are “slaves to our passion” (v 3), especially our passion for self.  We submit our desires, our opinions, and that pesky thing called “self” because when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life, v 4-7.  We do not deserve our salvation any more than those people deserve our submission, service, and courtesy.  Are you going to give it up just to prove a point?

No, we do not have to be reminded to do the easy things, so obviously these are difficult.  We need the reminder.  We need sometimes a reminder as sharp as a slap in the face.  Read the prophets.  They were good at that.  And the New Testament writers were not far behind.  I’ve been told that sometimes I’m not either.

But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder…Rom 15:15. 

Dene Ward

I have been doing a lot of outside reading for some classes I am teaching, and find myself reading blurbs on the backs of these books at odd times, usually when my mind needs a rest from all the scholarly stuff my old and feeble brain is trying to make sense of.  I saw this one a few weeks ago and it stopped me in my tracks.

“In Story as Torah Gordon Wenham showed how biblical narrative texts little used by ethicists, can inform Christian moral teaching.”  John Barton, University of Oxford.

In other words, the man has written a book in which he uses the Bible “stories,” as we are prone to call them, to teach us right and wrong.  First, I do understand that the word “inform” has a special meaning in scholarly circles, but it still seems plain to me that the critic is saying that using the Bible this way is highly unusual, in fact, a groundbreaking idea. 

I sit here wondering why they are reading their Bibles at all if they have not figured this out before.  We do this every Sunday in Bible classes.  I did it every day when my children were growing up.  I do it now when my grandsons come for a visit.  We talk about the Bible narratives and how they teach us we should be behaving in our lives.  We talk about Noah and how “everyone is doing it,” proves that “it” is probably wrong.  We talk about Daniel and how important prayer is, and how God takes care of the faithful.  We talk about Elijah and the One True God.  We talk about Judas and betrayal, about Peter and impetuosity—and then forgiveness.  We talk about Jonah and God’s love for everyone and our responsibility to share that love.  My children grew up knowing what the Bible is for.  What in the world did these people think they should do with it?

And we can laugh at them and think ourselves so much better than they, but are we?  We know the Bible is to be used to “inform” our lives, but does it?  Does the sermon go in one ear and out the other?  Do the Bible classes become exercises in finding yet another way to bring up my pet hobby, or to show everyone how much I know instead of finding something I need to improve on?  Do I give the right answers and then go out and live the wrong ones?

Before we laugh at men who have become a little too smart for their own good, let’s check our own behavior.  We may know better, but are we doing it?

Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did. Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.” We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come, 1Cor 10:6-11.

Dene Ward

Dear TV and Movie Producers and Advertisers of same,

I grew up watching television.  But now I find myself completely disgusted by what you are giving me as entertainment.  May I please offer a few suggestions?

I am not a prurient adolescent, so please dispense with the sexual innuendo and bathroom humor.  I am far more mature and sophisticated than that.  Most of the people I know are.  I am relatively well-educated, so please come up with words with more than four letters.  They have already worn out their shock value, and what other use are they?  All they do is turn me off, which means I turn the knob off.

Please give me role models I can identify with, admire, or aspire to.  Give me a father figure who is not an idiotic doofus, one who can make rational decisions and does not need his wife, and certainly not his children, to pull him out of the messes he makes of their lives week after week.  Give me a mother figure who does not treat her husband like a child or demean him to her friends, but respects him; who is not a preacher for the ultra-liberal left, who understands that selflessness and sacrifice for her family is not a fault to be overcome, and can communicate with her family without a martyr complex.  Give me children who respect their parents and obey them without eye-rolling, sass, and deeply heaved sighs of frustration. 

Tell my children the truth not the fairy tale of “happily ever after.”  Show my children that one talk about condoms does not make teen pregnancy a breeze.  Show them that drugs are not that easy to overcome once they are hooked.  Tell them that there is no such thing as “safe sex” outside of heterosexual monogamy, that AIDS is not the only, or even the most common, sexually transmitted disease out there, and that they could easily end up living the rest of their lives in relentless pain, unable to marry and have children till the day they die.  Tell them that the same self-control we expect of them in regard to stealing and murder is just as viable when it comes to sexual self-control.

Teach them something called integrity and character instead of looking out for number one and doing what you can get away with.  Teach them that whatever they do affects someone else.  Do you know how many times my probation officer husband has sat across the table from inmates who were shocked to hear that their shoplifting raised the prices that their dear old grandmothers had to pay?  No one taught them simple economics.  No one told them that what they did was a reflection on the women who raised them.  “I don’t know your mother,” he often says to them, “except what I see in you.”  You would be surprised how many hardened criminals sit there with tears running down their cheeks at those words.  Too bad you didn’t say any of those things a long time before he did. 

And tell me this—would you ever pepper dialogue with the phrase “Oh my Allah!” or “Oh my Buddha!” or “Oh my Vishnu!”?  Or would you never dare in this age of political correctness to cause offense to someone’s religious beliefs?  So why must I listen to you disrespect my God?  Or is it, as seems to be the case over and over, that discrimination against Christians doesn’t count?

Speaking of Christians, show me practicing Christians who are neither fire-breathing, insane radicals nor hypocrites.  Show me people who live what they believe—quietly and selflessly serving others and living moral lives.  I can show you hundreds of families in just my limited circle who do.  Why can’t you find any?

I am not the only one out there who would like these things.  A good many of us are tired of seeing sex used to advertise hamburgers and shavers, and suave urbanity to advertise liquor and beer.  Let me tell you—the most interesting man in my world is not an arrogant, beer-swilling womanizer and no man should expect me to come running just because he gave me the eye across a boxing ring.  My standards are much higher than those.  My friends feel the same way.  We’re tired of having to battle an entire culture in order to teach our children how to be decent people.  Not a few have turned their TVs off.  They have made the decision to boycott businesses who promote themselves in such irresponsible ways, businesses whose only interest is the bottom line. 

And to those who are saying amen, I am calling on more of you to do something tangible to show your displeasure--not violent, not illegal, but something that will make an impact that businesses care about—their profits.  Write a letter, using calm words, good words, not indecent ones.  Don’t become what you are opposing.  Then follow up.  Turn off that television, stop watching those movies, don’t buy those products or patronize those establishments.  You know who and what they are as well as I do, you’ve just been ignoring this issue because it would put a crimp in your style.  Maybe it’s time you sacrificed something.  You know who it’s for.  Aren’t they worth it?  Isn’t HE worth it?

 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead reprove them.  Eph 5: 11.

Dene Ward

 Here in our little neighborhood in Tampa, we no longer have 5 acres to roam around in, much less mow a path for walking or jogging.  In fact, our backyard is only about half the size of the "postage stamp" I used to call Nathan's backyard at the house where his children were born.  So my elliptical machine gets a true workout itself, every morning, rather than only when it rains.  And while I "walk," the neighborhood wildlife keep me company.

 I have already told you about the resident wren—which might actually be more than one, I suppose.  It comes every morning—it, that is, just the one, so it makes sense that it is the same one, especially since Keith whistles back and it returns the call as if they were old friends.  Then there is the lizard who regularly stops on the top of the fence, just opposite my elliptical machine inside the screened porch, blowing out his red throat at me as if he were a ferocious T-Rex and I should be very scared! 

 All of a sudden the squirrels seem to be making themselves shown more than ever since we got here.  Usually two show up, running across limbs in the laurel oaks, up and down the trunk and jumping to the smaller limbs whose leaves shake like a cheerleader's pom-poms.  Lately they have been running back and forth across the top of the fences and roofs, one always chasing the other lickety-split.  One didn't quite make the leap between roof and tree the other morning and fell ker-plop in the grass, only to scamper to the side of the neighbor's house and climb the stucco!  Notice:  these squirrels never just follow one another—they chase one another.  Sometimes I suppose it is a male-female type of chase, especially given the season and the fact that in Florida that is more than once a year.  Sometimes it might be a territorial fight with one trying to tell the other to get out of Dodge.  But sometimes it's just play—and those times seem obvious as they scurry back and forth across any surface upon which they can get a purchase.  Sometimes I think I hear them laughing.

 In our walk as Christians we need to think about squirrels.  In several places we are told to "follow after" certain things.  The word is not a casual, complacent stroll down the street, wandering here and there and always ready to stop for a cup of coffee on the way.  The word means "flee," as in something is chasing you and you had better get on down the road as quickly as possible.  Yet we are the ones who are supposed to be doing the chasing.

  So then let us follow after things which make for peace, and things whereby we may edify one another Rom14:19.  In this context the arrogant are the ones who need to be chasing after those "peaceful" things, the ones who think that since they know more than a new Christian, they must be better than he, even to the point of causing division where none needs to be.  No, Paul tells them.  Peace should be your goal instead, something you chase as hard as possible.

 See that none render unto any one evil for evil; but always follow after that which is good, one toward another, and toward all 1Thess5:15.  Vengeance and tit for tat thinking are the opposite of the good we should be chasing.  "Grudge" should not be in a Christian's vocabulary.

 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness 1Tim6:11.  If ever there was an inclusive verse it is this one.  We should be single-mindedly chasing everything that a Christian truly is.  How can we claim to be one otherwise?

 But flee youthful lusts, and follow after righteousness, faith, love, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart 2Tim2:22.  No, this is not talking to young people.  If you have ever seen a sixty year old man in a Corvette convertible with a twenty something blonde, you know that anyone can have "youthful lusts," and their opposites are things that a man with a pure heart "chases."

  Think about these things today.  Are you truly chasing them, pursuing them for all you are worth, or are career, monetary "success," a home in the right neighborhood, and the friendship of movers and shakers the things you truly spend your life on?  If you don't think it matters, consider this:  Follow after peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no man shall see the Lord Heb12:14.

Dene Ward

Things change so rapidly these days it seems impossible to keep up.  I had carefully collected a library of classical music LPs for my students to listen to.  By the time my studio was large enough, with students advanced enough to get much use out of them, I was collecting cassettes.  Before long I had to switch to CDs.  At least I don’t have a collection of 8 tracks collecting dust as well.  Somehow I missed that phase.

The same thing is happening in the church, and I don’t mean changing doctrine to suit the situation, I mean changing the means by which we teach that unchangeable Word, and the ways we edify one another while still clinging to the constraints of obedient faith.

Gone are the charts drawn on white bed sheets and the overhead projectors flashing carefully covered up lists, revealed one line at a time when the speaker moves the sheet of paper he laid on top.  Now we use power point and remotes.  Even my three year old grandson Silas knows to pick up something rectangular and point it at his make-believe screen when he pretends to preach like Daddy.

We must beg people to use the carefully selected library of books we have in the back hall—they are happier with the internet and Bible study programs, not to mention Kindle and Nook.  Even the riffling of Bibles during the sermon has decreased—many now have all 66 books on something the size of a wallet.  You are more likely to hear beeps or mechanized “plops” than the quiet shuffling of pages.

Now the preacher doesn’t just have to raise his voice when an infant begins to cry; he has to raise it when someone forgets to turn off his cell phone.  Now the song leader must wrestle with an audience who not only wants to sing at their own pace regardless of his direction, but with the ones who cannot for the life of them understand or “feel” syncopation.  Fanny Crosby would never have set words to a syncopated tune.

But some things will always be the same.

Children whose parents tell them to “Listen!” will still come up with ways to keep their wandering minds on the sermons, counting how many times the preacher says certain words or writing down every passage he uses, and in that play will begin to memorize scriptures that stay with them for a lifetime.

Someone will still sniffle a bit during the Lord’s Supper, and someone else will momentarily hold up the collection while he tries to persuade his two year old to put the coins in the plate, and the children will learn what is done and why.

A deacon will stand in back and count while another one makes last minute notes for the closing announcements, those precious words that help us “weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice.”

Serious men, in khakis and open neck shirts instead of suits and ties, will still listen carefully to the preacher while their wives juggle their own listening with trying to decide if a requested potty trip is really necessary or just a ploy to get out of this boring seat for a few minutes.

People will still ask for prayers when life deals them a harsh blow, and brothers and sisters will gather round with hugs and tears, and offers of help.

Excited new converts will still sit closer to the front than old ones, listening with rapt attention, diligently taking notes to study at home, and thinking up questions that will keep the elders busy for weeks.

Young parents will be suddenly motivated to attend regularly for the first time in their lives by the responsibility of the small souls God has placed in their hands.

Widows will contentedly sit, patiently waiting for the time when they can meet their mates “at the gate,” as my mother asked my daddy to do just moments before his passing.

Older couples will do as I do, looking around at all the new but still seeing the old in spite of the new, comforting themselves that God’s way still works, even in this perplexing age of technology and unparalleled advancement.

As long as there are people to hear it and hearts to believe it, planting the seed will make Christians spring up out of any plot of good soil. It has worked for nearly two thousand years now and we, in spite of the wow-factor of our inventions, will never outdo the results God can get with one Book.  If you ever forget that, then look around some Sunday morning, not for the differences, but for the things that never change, and that never will as long as faith exists on the earth. 

"O my God," I say, "take me not away in the midst of my days-- you whose years endure throughout all generations!" Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end. The children of your servants shall dwell secure; their offspring shall be established before you. Psalms 102:24-28

Dene Ward

We had a long drive ahead of us that day, one on unfamiliar winding backroads, so we were both watching carefully for hairpin curves and highway numbers which seemed to rise up out of nowhere.  More than once we nearly missed a turn.

At least the scenery was beautiful, hills carpeted in autumn colors, green valleys and lakes reflecting the clear blue skies, red barns, silver silos, white rail fencing snaking over the rolling pastures.  Then suddenly we passed an old homestead.  The barn had fallen in on itself, the fencing was obscured by weeds and grass.  Even the foundation lay in a heap of crumbled rubble—except for the red brick fireplace that stood straight and solid in the center of the home site.

I couldn’t help but wonder how many fires had warmed the house when it stood, and how many generations had gathered around that hearth before the house was finally destroyed.  And wasn’t it intriguing that something big enough and strong enough to destroy a house would leave a fireplace completely unscathed?  No crumbling, no cracks, not even any smoke damage.

Hearths have symbolized warmth, security and traditional family values for centuries.  Just as today our kitchens tend to be the center of the home, the hearth was that center in earlier times.  And just like that fireplace that stood alone after the destruction of the house, when our life takes a bad turn, the home and family you come from can be the reason you make it through those times.

The values instilled by your parents can make you or break you.  Work ethic, determination, integrity, honesty, and above all, service to God and others—these are the things that will help you stand when others fall.  And these are the things your children need to see and hear in you for exactly the same reasons.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world, the old saying goes, but it’s actually a pair of hands, maybe 3 or 4 pairs—parents and grandparents that mold young minds through teaching and especially example.  God meant for us to be their role models, not some famous athlete, singer, or actor, not some politician or businessman, not even some big name preacher.

Long after you are gone, that fireplace will stand in your child’s heart.  No matter what comes his way, what you have taught him will see him through.  Be sure you have laid the bricks well.

Things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done…which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; Ps 78:3-7.

Dene Ward

We swapped computers in 2015.  The new one was supposed to be so much better for someone like me, someone whose vision is becoming more and more limited.  Why, it has no wires!  You could pick it up and carry it around with you and no, it was not a laptop.  It was one of those new “all-in-ones.”  Part laptop, part tablet, but with a screen the size of a large desktop.  You didn’t even need a mouse and keyboard.  Rrrrright.  In my viewpoint it will take them a few more years to make this no-mouse-no-keyboard thing work smoothly enough that you don’t find yourself wanting to throw the whole thing through the window at least once a day.

 But it would have been a much easier transition if it hadn’t been a Lenovo.  Does that ring a few bells with the techie crowd?  In 2014, Lenovo began building a third party adware program called "Superfish" into its consumer PCs.  If you have read anything about it, you already know where this is going.  There was so much adware embedded in this thing we couldn’t even read a line of text without pop-ups flooding the screen.  If the cursor ran across a magic word, another would instantly appear.  And the thing kept track of every website you visited, producing even more ads.  Sometimes they popped up so quickly that when you were trying to click on something on the legitimate page, you wound up clicking on an ad instead.  We couldn’t even load our desired programs for all the pop-ups.  But this wasn't the worst of the problem.  This adware made it much easier for hackers to break through HTTPS entirely, and such an attack occurred shortly after the program became public.

 As far as I know, we were never hacked, but this stuff was so deeply embedded that it took at least three trips to Geek Squad to get it out.  And after every scrub, we had to spend time loading the programs we wanted yet again.  The first four months we were actually able to use the computer about 4 weeks. 

 Satan embeds his adware into our culture the same way.  When you can’t even watch a hamburger commercial without “soft” porn invading your living room, when the teasers for the shows you avoid include language your mama would have washed your mouth out with soap for using, and when we are constantly told that we aren’t hip, cool, smart, happy, or the most interesting people in the world without beer, hard liquor, cigarettes, or dancing the night away in skimpy clothes on a rooftop somewhere exciting where whatever you do stays, then you need to watch out for your souls more than ever before.

 The world will laugh at you if you mention Satan.  He isn’t real, we are told.  Only the ignorant believe in a mythological character like that.  If you are a Christian, you must believe in Satan.  If you don’t accept that part of the Bible, why would you accept any other part?

Growing up I thought the only New Testament verses that mentioned Satan were the ones around Jesus’ temptation and the good old roaring lion in Peter.  Imagine my surprise when I looked it up.  I counted 19 outside the gospels, less one for the Peter passage we all know, for a total of 18 others.  Then there were the ones who called him something else like “the god of this age,” and “the Devil.”  And many of them talk about his “adware.”  Check a few of these out.

 2 Cor 2:11 mentions the “devices” of the devil.  Eph 6:11 speaks of his “schemes.”  2 Cor 4:4 tells us he “blinds the minds.”  2 Cor 11:14 tells us he “disguises” himself.  All I have to do is look around and see those devices and schemes every day, not just on television but in the speech and behavior of people who have already been taken in.  Have you ever seen the original “Invasion of the Body Snatchers?”  Some days I feel exactly like Kevin McCarthy, looking over my shoulder to see where the pods are, and wondering which of my neighbors have been replaced.

 One of Satan’s devices are his ministers.  The New Testament warns again and again of false teachers, false messiahs, false prophets, and false apostles. They fashion themselves as “ministers of righteousness” (2 Cor 11:15).  Not only do they appear to be doing good, they even look good.  False teachers on the whole are good-looking and charismatic.  A lot of what they say sounds good and is, in fact, good.  But 90% of rat poison is good too.  It only takes the 10% to kill the rats.  When you keep finding the good in a man you know is teaching error, maybe Satan’s adware has taken hold of your heart already.

 Our culture has become embedded with evil masquerading as good.  We had to have our computer “scrubbed to the bones” to get rid of the adware.  Maybe it’s time we all used a spiritual scrub brush on ourselves before we are taken in too.

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep. 2Pet 2:1-3.

Dene Ward

 Seeking advice is a God-authorized activity.  Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life Prov19:20.  I must have found a hundred passages that say the same thing in nearly as many different ways.  One of the main reasons for the church is for us to encourage each other, advise each other, edify and even rebuke each other when necessary.  God surrounds us with older, wiser people who have been through what we are now going through and who want more than anything to help us get through it without the pain they incurred.  Listen to them!

 Unfortunately, very few do.  I have watched again and again with tears and heartbreak as people I love either refuse to even ask for advice or listen to the wrong advice from the wrong people, and ultimately, make mistakes they did not have to make.  When I am online seeing to this blog, answering questions, getting rid of spam, wracking my brain for yet another post to try to help those who take the time to read, I also check the blog's Facebook page and in the process more than once have seen yet another young wife or mother go to the wrong person for advice.  The lesson of Solomon's son Rehoboam falls on deaf ears again and again.

 Then King Rehoboam consulted with the elders who had served his father Solomon when he was alive, asking, “How do you advise me to respond to these people? ” They replied, “Today if you will be a servant to these people and serve them, and if you respond to them by speaking kind words to them, they will be your servants forever.” But he rejected the advice of the elders who had advised him and consulted with the young men who had grown up with him and served him1Kgs12:6-8.  Ultimately, he took the advice of young men who had never been king, had never tried to run a kingdom, and certainly had never cared for the citizens of that kingdom as a godly king should.  That is why the nation of Israel divided—an arrogant young man refused to take good advice.

 Recently I saw a post on childrearing that was linked by a young Christian woman.  I had never heard of this blog or the person writing it, but when I followed the link I was appalled.  The advice this young mother thought so wonderful came from a stripper!  I wanted to cry.  Why, oh why wouldn't she go where the Bible tells us to go—to people who are faithful to God?  And the only answer I could get from reading her own words was that she did not like the advice she got from them.  Like Rehoboam, she was in the market for advice, but only advice she wanted to hear.

 The only way advice will do you any good is to be teachable.  If you already have your mind made up, you will never learn anything.  Once you have decided to seek advice you must find someone who has been there and successfully navigated the waters you find yourself floundering in.  For example, if it's childrearing you need help with, look for someone who has raised godly children.  The more difficult part may be to find someone who loves you and has enough strength to tell you what you do not want to hear.  Most people know exactly what will happen if you tell someone they are wrong about something—you might just lose a friend—so they won't do it.  If you find someone who loves you enough to tell you what you need to hear, love them back by listening and not getting angry.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are profuse  Prov27:6. We all have blind spots.  It takes someone else to see them—or they wouldn't be called blind spots!  Ask that someone and believe what they tell you.  They are not making this up.   Be not wise in your own eyes; Fear Jehovah… Prov3:7.

 When we talk about being Bible believing people that should cover every aspect of our lives, not just how we worship or the steps to salvation.  It means when God says go to certain people for advice, then if you believe His Word, that is what you will do.  Please, please be careful who you seek out for counsel and do not let your own opinions get in the way of following it.  Your family is counting on you.

But you must say the things that are consistent with sound teaching. Older men are to be level headed, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may teach the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered  Titus2:1-5.

Dene Ward

About that freeze—we may not have thought to protect our hibiscus, but we most certainly thought about our tomato plant.  It is a Cherokee Purple, an heirloom variety, one of the few that produces well and does not easily catch plant diseases.  They are also some of the tastiest tomatoes you ever put in your mouth.  So yes, Keith dug around in the garage and found an old sheet that was large enough to cover the tomato which stood a good five feet high in its planter against the side fence.  Then he rooted around further for the trouble light and an outdoor extension cord, scrounged up a lightbulb and put it under the sheet and plugged it in to the outdoor outlet.

 Neither one of us thought a thing about it until he removed the sheet two days later and felt no warmth at all.  He hadn't thought and had put an LED lightbulb in the trouble light!  Whereas incandescent bulbs will give you plenty of warmth for temperatures of about 30 degrees, an LED won't warm anything at all.  All we had done was protect it from frost.  The fact that the sheet held the plant's own warmth and it sat so close to the house, kept it from being completely destroyed.  We lost a few leaves and the ends of a limb or two, but the dozen or so tomatoes hanging there were still alive and with a few days of warmth they ripened—but it certainly wasn't our fault.

 Some people are a little like LED bulbs.  They may say and do the right things, but there is no heart in it at all.  You can tell when someone truly empathizes with you and when it's just the standard talk.  Trust me, the preacher knows when, "Good lesson," accompanied by a handshake is truly meant and when it's just a pro forma comment as one leaves the building.  If one is honest, he can tell when a correction from a brother comes from a heart of love that truly cares and when that correction comes with a "So there!" hidden among its words. 

 And God can tell when our obedience comes from a sincere heart of love and devotion and when it's just checklist religion.  When the works don't match the words it has become painfully apparent that the obedience is not heartfelt. 

 Compassion, comfort, love, sincerity—all of these conjure up warmth in our minds, people who truly care and have truly devoted their lives to living like Jesus did.  Don't plug in an LED light instead.

But thank God that, although you used to be slaves of sin, you obeyed from the heart that pattern of teaching you were transferred to  Rom6:17.

By obedience to the truth, having purified yourselves for sincere love of the brothers, love one another earnestly from a pure heart1Pet1:22.

Dene Ward