My largest flower bed, a couple of hundred square feet, is about 75% volunteers. Every year I plant a couple of new things, but by and large the plot reseeds itself with black-eyed Susans, zinnias, marigolds, and Mexican petunias. Instead of planned formality it becomes a riot of colorâorange, red, rust, pink, burgundy, purple, white, and tons of yellow. About the first of June it is at its best, and has even been featured in the photos of friends and family.
The black-eyed Susans have a way of coming up just about anywhereâin the field, in the yard, up by the gate, around the bird feeders. I never know where one will shoot up during any given spring. A shallow ditch runs along the west side of my large riotous flower bed. This year that ditch was full of black-eyed Susansâeven more than in the bed.
As the spring progressed, that ditch also became full of weeds and grass. I spent over an hour one morning cleaning it out. Along with it went some of those pretty, brown-centered, yellow flowers. I thought about it long and hard, but I knew this: those weeds would just get more and more entrenched and eventually choke out the flowers anyway. And even if they didnât, the flowers would just call attention to the tall grass around them, and all anyone would think would be, âUgh.â So I transplanted what I could back into the bed, hoping they would survive the rough treatment of having grass roots pulled out from among their own, and then just chopped out the rest along with all the weeds. Itâs not like I didnât have a plethora of them anyway. They are all over the property.
Which brings me to this: what we often think of as beauty can be completely overwhelmed by ugliness. Why canât our young men see that a beautiful young girl is anything but beautiful when she acts like a trollop and dresses like a harlot? Why canât a young woman see that a handsome young man spoils those good looks with the filthy words that come out of his mouth and the intemperate behavior of a drunk, or a lecher, or anything else he allows to control his life? Why donât they understand that if they are only attracted by outward beauty, their values are as shallow as a drop of water on a hot griddle, and just as likely to evaporate? Maybe because we havenât taught them any better.
Many years ago I stood in the receiving line at a wedding and heard a few feet away a woman who claimed to be a Christian saying, âHeâs such a good looking young man. Itâs a shame he couldnât find someone prettier.â Never mind the young bride in question had a beautiful and loving character, she wasnât pretty enough on the outside.
I have heard women getting excited over a new dress or a new pair of shoes and then bored about a conversion. I have seen men eagerly discussing cars or guns or sports, and turning away in apathy at a spiritual discussion. I have seen people happy to discuss their misfortunes to anyone who will listen, while ignoring their blessings. Do you think our children donât see these examples?
We teach them what to care most about, and they follow our examples all through their lives. If I want my child to develop a deep relationship with God, then itâs time I had one myself.
Tell your children what true beauty is, and then show them. Make yourself beautiful with your good works, with your kind demeanor, with your loving spirit. If you donât, they may never learn what constitutes true beauty until they are mired in a horrible relationship that eventually ruins their lives. The flowers in the ditch may be beautiful, but is that really where you want them to spend their lives?
Like a gold ring in a pigâs snout is a beautiful woman with no discretion, Prov 11:22.
Dene Ward