Entitlements are the biggest government programs in the US.  In 2016, the Social Security program cost $916 billion, Medicare $595 billion, Medicaid an estimated $651 billion and all other welfare programs an estimated $433 billion.  What began as an almost negligible part of the national debt in 1900 is now an estimated 17% of all national spending.

When did this happen?  The largest jump in entitlement spending occurred during the Great Society programs of 1964-65, but most people trace the root back to the Depression and Roosevelt's New Deal programs. 

Entitlement programs are not necessarily bad. When a man has had his wages taxed his whole life, I see little wrong with his picking up a Social Security check.  He is, theoretically, just getting his money back, money he loaned to the government for their use and which they are returning.  But entitlement in general has become a bad word.  To most of us it means "the belief that one is inherently deserving of special treatment," and not because it is earned.

I wish I had a nickel for every conservative politician, even every Christian, I’ve heard complaining about people who have entitlement issues.  The ones who act like the world owes them a living; like they should never have to reap the consequences of their sown wild oats; who think that having money or, interestingly enough, NOT having money, makes them exempt from the laws of the land.  While I find myself agreeing with most of those opinions, I also see this:  every one of them, politician and Christian alike, has an entitlement issue of his own.

First there is the husband who wants everything done in a certain way, even if it is a lot more work for his wife; one who demands certain foods cooked a certain way and served with certain other foods or he refuses to eat it; who requires every item of clothing pressed, even if they are permanent press and no one else will know the difference; who wants his big boy toys because he’s “worked hard and earned it,” even if it means others in the family will do without needs.  After all, he is the head of the house.

Then there is the wife who wants everything the neighbors have, even if the neighbor makes a lot more money; who thinks she must have plenty of time and money allotted for preening; who considers sacrificing for her family a kind of torture; who believes that life is for recreation and begrudges every minute she must spend caring for the children or keeping the house or cooking meals; who recites her list of woes to anyone who will listen every time she has the opportunity so she can be properly pitied and praised for dealing with them.  After all no one should have to go without a new pair of shoes for every outfit.

And don’t forget the children these two raise:  selfish, materialistic whiners who are never satisfied; who think that their parents owe them every new electronic gizmo the world creates; and who never once utter the word, “Thank you,” much less actually treat their parents with enough respect and courtesy to even look up from their phones and carry on a civil conversation.  After all, they didn’t ask to be born so they deserve everything they want to make up for it.

Do you think these attitudes haven’t invaded the church?  Where do you think we get those members who refuse to do as they are asked for the sake of visitors from the community?  Why, no one can have my perfect parking place (under the shade tree) or my perfect seat (in the rear).  Why do you think we have people who treat their precious opinions like the first principles of Christianity—basic and undeniable, and shame on anyone who isn’t as enlightened as I am?  Where do they come from, the people who will raise an argument about the trivial just to show their smarts and regardless of who may need the larger point being made?  Or the ones who, when they suffer, raise their fists at God and complain, “I’ve served you all my life.  Why me?” as if they could have ever earned any blessing at all?

And why do you think we have such a hard time overcoming a single besetting sin?  “That’s just the way I am,” we think, as if the Lord should count Himself blessed to have us and overlook it.

Yes, we are all guilty.  And what does Jesus have to say about that when he hears us pontificating about “those people” with entitlement issues?

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye, Matt 7:3-5.

Be careful the next time you rant about entitlement.

Dene Ward

Seems like every August one of the morning network shows will have a spot on what to do with all those tomatoes.  Unfortunately, those shows usually air from New York City where they seem to think that everyone thinks like they do and lives like they do, and that even the weather follows suit.  New York City must be the center of the universe. 

Down here in Florida our tomatoes are 1 to 2 months gone by the time those shows air, depending upon the year.  We eat and give away those perfectly formed, unblemished firstfruits from the last week of May till halfway through June.  Then I spend a week canning tomatoes with the plum varieties, and a few days on specialty items like salsa and tomato jam.  Another week using up the end of the year uglies on sauce, and that’s that.  It’s a rare year that I have tomatoes after the Fourth of July.

And guess what?  In the south part of this long state, things are different still.  Tomato season Is different for every location and climate.

It’s like that for Christians too.  Not only do different spiritual ages have differing levels of understanding, but even different locations fight different battles.  A long time ago, we moved north.  Talk about culture shock.  Not only did I see my first snow, we had to fight heresies that had been fought down south ten years earlier.  You can see those things happen in the New Testament too, as trouble travels from city to city. 

We can also discover exactly how patient—or impatient—we are with our brothers and sisters.  I forget how long it took me to reach this point but expect it of them in a few short weeks.  I become annoyed with their failures and with their lack of understanding.  Somehow I expect them to leapfrog a few decades and catch up.

That is not how it works, and we must make allowances.  It may mean we are more careful in our decision making, and it may mean we give up our liberties.  It’s one thing to be held hostage by the views of the stubborn who claim they are “offended;” it’s quite another to trample on the fragile souls of those new in the faith, who are still grappling with the baggage they have not quite left behind. 

And let us not deter, or even discourage completely, their salvation with some manmade list of things they should know before we accept them into our congregations.  Smacks a little of catechism class, doesn’t it?  Just how much do you think that Philippian jailor knew when Paul baptized him “in the same hour of the night?”  Enough to understand his need for a Savior and how to contact that redeeming blood.  He had a lifetime to learn the rest.

Tomato season for me is not tomato season for you, and my Christian age is not the same as yours.  If you expect a green tomato to taste like one that has been vine-ripened in a home garden, you are not as wise as you think you are.

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me,  Rom 15:1-3.

Dene Ward

Then Shemaiah the prophet came to Rehoboam and to the princes of Judah, who had gathered at Jerusalem because of Shishak, and said to them, “Thus says the LORD, ‘You abandoned me, so I have abandoned you to the hand of Shishak.’” Then the princes of Israel and the king humbled themselves and said, “The LORD is righteous.” When the LORD saw that they humbled themselves, the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah: “They have humbled themselves. I will not destroy them, but I will grant them some deliverance, and my wrath shall not be poured out on Jerusalem by the hand of Shishak. Nevertheless, they shall be servants to him, that they may know my service and the service of the kingdoms of the countries,.” 2Chr 12:5-8.

 It’s easy, when you find yourself in a trying situation, to make excuses for your behavior; to say, “Woe is me,” and expect everyone to sympathize with you and pat you on the back, not just occasionally or even often, but almost as if it were a daily penance on their part because you have to deal with the difficult and they don’t—at least in your mind.

 “Why is this happening to me?” can become a mantra if you aren’t careful.  Maybe God, in the passage above, answers that question.

 Judah repented when they learned the consequences of their disobedience and God repented their destruction.  But He did not stop their servitude to the king of Egypt.  “This way they will learn how to serve me,” he told the prophet.

 Did you ever think that maybe that “unjust” master (boss) was there to teach you service?  Or that difficult spouse? 

  Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly, 1Pet 2:18-19.

 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct, 1Pet 3:1-2.

 Did you ever think that maybe that obnoxious neighbor or ornery brother in the Lord might be there to teach you patience and forbearance?

 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing, 1Pet 3:9.

 In fact, doesn’t God expect us to use every situation, whether blessing or trial to improve as His servant?  The sufferings we endure are meant to be opportunities for growth, not merit badges on a boastful sash.

 Suffering does not make us exempt to the call to service.  People in all situations of life have been serving God as hard as they can for as long as they can, whether rich or poor, sick or healthy, hungry or full, old or young, even in slavery, for thousands of years.  The place God puts us is the test of our faith.  Will you pass the test? 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you, 1Pet 5:10.

Dene Ward

Things change so rapidly these days it seems impossible to keep up.  I had carefully collected a library of classical music LPs for my students to listen to.  By the time my studio was large enough, with students advanced enough to get much use out of them, I was collecting cassettes.  Before long I had to switch to CDs.  At least I don’t have a collection of 8 tracks collecting dust as well.  Somehow I missed that phase.

The same thing is happening in the church, and I don’t mean changing doctrine to suit the situation, I mean changing the means by which we teach that unchangeable Word, and the ways we edify one another while still clinging to the constraints of obedient faith.

Gone are the charts drawn on white bed sheets and the overhead projectors flashing carefully covered up lists, revealed one line at a time when the speaker moves the sheet of paper he laid on top.  Now we use power point and remotes.  Even my three year old grandson Silas knows to pick up something rectangular and point it at his make-believe screen when he pretends to preach like Daddy.

We must beg people to use the carefully selected library of books we have in the back hall—they are happier with the internet and Bible study programs, not to mention Kindle and Nook.  Even the riffling of Bibles during the sermon has decreased—many now have all 66 books on something the size of a wallet.  You are more likely to hear beeps or mechanized “plops” than the quiet shuffling of pages.

Now the preacher doesn’t just have to raise his voice when an infant begins to cry; he has to raise it when someone forgets to turn off his cell phone.  Now the song leader must wrestle with an audience who not only wants to sing at their own pace regardless of his direction, but with the ones who cannot for the life of them understand or “feel” syncopation.  Fanny Crosby would never have set words to a syncopated tune.

But some things will always be the same.

Children whose parents tell them to “Listen!” will still come up with ways to keep their wandering minds on the sermons, counting how many times the preacher says certain words or writing down every passage he uses, and in that play will begin to memorize scriptures that stay with them for a lifetime.

Someone will still sniffle a bit during the Lord’s Supper, and someone else will momentarily hold up the collection while he tries to persuade his two year old to put the coins in the plate, and the children will learn what is done and why.

A deacon will stand in back and count while another one makes last minute notes for the closing announcements, those precious words that help us “weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice.”

Serious men, in khakis and open neck shirts instead of suits and ties, will still listen carefully to the preacher while their wives juggle their own listening with trying to decide if a requested potty trip is really necessary or just a ploy to get out of this boring seat for a few minutes.

People will still ask for prayers when life deals them a harsh blow, and brothers and sisters will gather round with hugs and tears, and offers of help.

Excited new converts will still sit closer to the front than old ones, listening with rapt attention, diligently taking notes to study at home, and thinking up questions that will keep the elders busy for weeks.

Young parents will be suddenly motivated to attend regularly for the first time in their lives by the responsibility of the small souls God has placed in their hands.

Widows will contentedly sit, patiently waiting for the time when they can meet their mates “at the gate,” as my mother asked my daddy to do just moments before his passing.

Older couples will do as I do, looking around at all the new but still seeing the old in spite of the new, comforting themselves that God’s way still works, even in this perplexing age of technology and unparalleled advancement.

As long as there are people to hear it and hearts to believe it, planting the seed will make Christians spring up out of any plot of good soil. It has worked for nearly two thousand years now and we, in spite of the wow-factor of our inventions, will never outdo the results God can get with one Book.  If you ever forget that, then look around some Sunday morning, not for the differences, but for the things that never change, and that never will as long as faith exists on the earth. 

"O my God," I say, "take me not away in the midst of my days-- you whose years endure throughout all generations!" Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end. The children of your servants shall dwell secure; their offspring shall be established before you. Psalms 102:24-28

Dene Ward

“What do you think about the role of women in the church?”

 The subject is a minefield.  No one seems to be able to keep their own prejudices and sore spots out of it.  Women are quick to point out the failings of men as if that undoes the dictates of God.  Men are quick to pontificate about the worst of women, even straying into women in the work force and the evils of abortion as if that had anything to do with the issue.  Not a few pat themselves on the back about how well they treat women and why would any woman want anything more than their wonderful selves?  (Am I not better to thee than seven sons? Elkanah asked Hannah.)  Everyone wants to add the “what ifs” and invent artificial boundaries that the scriptures never speak of.  And we think the Pharisees were ridiculous with their traditions. 

 But I am asked—often.  So here is, not what I think, but what it seems obvious that the Bible says.

 Do women have a leadership role as Christians?  Yes.  “Children obey your parents” Eph 6:1, obviously includes mothers who, last I checked, were all women. 

The older women are to “train the younger,” Titus 2:4.  When I teach my Bible classes, I have control of the students.  I am the one who directs the discussion and sets its boundaries in time and content.  I am the one responsible for correction if error is spoken. Sounds like leadership to me.

Women are to “rule the household” 1 Tim 5:14.  A lot of men completely miss that one.  It means she has a domain and he has no business micromanaging her in it unless she is doing a poor job of stewarding his provision for the family.

  On the other hand, whenever the church is talked about as an assembled group, things are much different.  Women are specifically told to “learn quietly with all submissiveness” 1 Tim 2:11.  As to the command in 1 Cor 14 that women are to “be silent,” we need to recognize the context and pull out every other time that two word phrase is used in that same context before we make blanket statements about women not opening their mouths until the “amen” has been said.  But that does not undo 1 Timothy 2 in any way.

 I could go on about Paul’s statement that a woman is not “to teach nor have dominion over a man.”  I could talk about parsing the sentence.  I could just bypass that and go to the obvious point that the preposition “over” has to go with both “teach” and “have dominion” or else the Bible contradicts itself.  Priscilla obviously helped teach Apollos and if all teaching is forbidden to women then that includes teaching children and women (which we have already seen is commanded) and singing (“teaching and admonishing yourselves in songs…”—the Greek word is the same in both passages) and you know what?  Everyone would have to completely ignore all godly women because their examples teach even if they never open their mouths.  But don’t you see?  There is something much more basic going on when we take issue with the scriptures.

 Whenever I hear women trying to sidestep 1 Tim 2:11, when I hear them rationalizing about their talents and how God wouldn’t want them wasted, when I hear them talking about Paul as if he were not an inspired apostle, when I hear them listing the failings of the men in their group (as if they had none) and dreaming up everything they can possibly think of that might make an exception, I think of Psalm 119:97:  Oh how I love your law, it is my meditation all the day.  When I try to weasel my way out of God’s commands, when I try to avoid them in any way possible, what does that say about how I feel about them?  Doesn’t much sound like "loving His law" to me.

 God is my Lord, not the other way around.  He has told us exactly how He wants things to be done.  I have no business telling Him that my way is better or that He ought to accept my way because I did it with a good heart.  I have no business railing against Him about why He gave me a certain talent if He won’t let me use it the way I want to use it.  I remember a few men in the Old Testament who learned that lesson the hard way.  Ladies, God will treat you equally.  Isn’t that what you want?  Or is it?

 If I love the law of God, if He is my Lord, I will not try to worm my way out of His commands, no matter how many men or Pharisaical Christians abuse them.  THAT is my answer to the question.

I am your servant; give me understanding, that I may know your testimonies! It is time for the LORD to act, for your law has been broken. Therefore I love your commandments above gold, above fine gold. Therefore I consider all your precepts to be right; I hate every false way.  Ps 119:125-128

Dene Ward

 I am not a tennis fan.  I can figure out most of the rules by watching a couple of games, but to tell the truth, I only do that if I am home sick and have nothing else to watch on television and don't feel like straining my eyes to read.  But I do remember the Battle of the Sexes.

 At least I remember the second one.  I had no idea that a first one ever happened.  Probably because it did not end the way the media wanted it to, not to mention all the women in the sports world.  The first one took place on May 13, 1973, at the San Vicente Country Club in Ramona, California.  Bobby Riggs, a 55 year old tennis champion from the 30s and 40s played Margaret Court, an Australian women's champion who had won 89 of her previous 92 games—before taking time off to have a baby.  Their style of play was different and reportedly Riggs had the court surface redone so it played "slower," and that undid Court's usual style of serve and volley, giving him time to get to a shot and put power behind it.  He wound up beating her 6-2,6-1.

 Immediately, he asked Billie Jean King for a similar match-up, one she had previously turned down.  Maybe Court's defeat changed her mind, or maybe it was something else, but she agreed to the match-up.  That game took place at the Houston Astrodome on September 20, that same year, and she beat him 6-4,6-3,6-3.  That is the battle I heard about, not the first one.  Frankly, it wasn't King I was rooting for but Riggs I was rooting against—he was such a loud blowhard that he deserved to lose in my mind.

 Of course those are not the only times we hear about competition between the sexes.  Maybe it's the abuse women have suffered for centuries, even millennia, from overbearing men in every culture who treat them like personal slaves that causes women to constantly rebel and need to show how good they are.  But it has reached the point that it is no longer the aim for women to be treated fairly and equally.  Feminists want to make sure people know that women are simply better than men. 

 This is not the way God wants it.  Man and woman were designed to be two halves of the same being.  And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof: and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one fleshGen2:21-24.  The Word of God variously describes God in terms of a loving father and a loving mother, and uses the same word to describe the divine Beings—One—as he does to describe the two marriage partners.  Just as God demands unity in His church, He also demands it in a marriage.  Marriage is designed to complete the image of God in which we are all created.

 If anything will help you determine whom you marry, perhaps this will.  How can you be "one" with someone who does not have the same commitments, the same purpose in life, and the same determination to serve God if you are not both children of that God?  Are there instances of Christians being married to unbelievers in the New Testament?  Of course there are, but I would guess that most of those were cases of an already married couple where only one was converted and the other not.  The questions Paul answers seem to indicate that, especially in I Corinthians 7.  "Now that I am a Christian and he is not, should I leave him?" 

 This morning please consider this one thing.  Are you and your spouse truly one or is there a battle of the sexes going on in your home?  I hear too many listing faults, complaining to anyone and everyone about pet peeves, and shaking their heads in annoyance over every little thing.  Ask yourself, what do my friends hear me saying about my spouse?  Are they surprised I ever married such a no-good boor?  Because, instead of the astonishing oneness God intended, that may well be the impression you are leaving.

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou love all the days of your life of vanity, which he has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity: for that is your portion in life, and in your labor wherein you labor under the sun  Eccl9:9.

Dene Ward

Every afternoon following our midday meal, we walk our property, counting new blooms on the roses, smelling the jasmine, and looking beneath those large scratchy leaves for new squash blossoms.  Usually I end up with a handful of wildflowers, blooms so tiny I cannot see them until Keith hands me one I can pull up close.

 Do you know what I see?  Blooms of all colors--red, pink, blue, white, yellow, orange, purple in all shades and combinations—and shapes—bells, tubes, bowls, cups, stars with five or six points, some flared, some rayed, some as complex as orchids.  And did you know that even the stems are different?  Some are wiry, some are leafless, some are hairy, some sprawl and others stand up straight, and some are square!  Some of these flowers are exquisite, but most of us don’t know that.  We’ve never taken the time to bend over and really look.

 A long time ago a woman who has since become a close friend, told me that looking across the pews at Keith had made her think he was stern and unapproachable, and so she had decided to make it a point to get to know him.  It wasn’t really Keith’s fault.  He has large, piercing blue eyes that look like they’re boring into you, a strong Roman nose, and a voice that, because he is profoundly deaf, is always in projection mode.  Even when he isn’t, he often sounds disapproving, and is always loud, which is often translated “angry.”  A lot of people just go with that first impression.  This woman did not, and she proclaimed that year of getting to know him “delightful.” I wonder how many others have missed out on that delight, how many have formed an opinion, and kept it despite what others might have said.

 How many do we overlook?  The elderly because we think them dull and uninteresting?  The teenagers because we’ve branded them all shallow and naïve?  The disabled because we think they have nothing to offer?  The scholarly and intellectual because we think those dry old men can’t possibly know how to have any fun?  The ones who seem so well put-together that we think they wouldn’t possibly want anything to do with “someone like me?”  None of these judgments is fair.   

Jesus told the Jews, “Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment,” John 7:24.  Maybe I should take the time (sacrifice) to bend over (be humble) and examine (make some effort) a few wildflowers out there, instead of passing over them (negligence) as if they weren’t worth my trouble (arrogance).  When I think of it that way, I finally understand why judging by appearance is NOT righteous.

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”  1Sam 16:7 

Dene Ward

We’ve all seen those definitions of pessimism and optimism, the classic being the half-empty or half-full glass.  As a gardener, I’ve come up with my own.  When you look out over your herb garden, do you see beautiful brightly colored butterflies flitting around, or does your mind’s eye conjure up green caterpillars on naked parsley stems, their leaves stripped away practically overnight?  I have a friend who is overjoyed at the sight of a butterfly.  I often have a difficult time sharing her joy.

But I recognize the problem.  Pessimism can easily turn to cynicism.  We want to rationalize that by calling it “being realistic.”  But here’s the difference: 

Realism understands that you won’t save everyone (Matt 7:13,14).  Cynicism doesn’t even try. 

Realism knows that you are unlikely to change the mind of that misled young man in the white shirt and tie who knocked on your door with Bible in hand, but it greets him with kindness and respect.  Cynicism views him not as a lost soul, but as an adversary and approaches him with sarcasm and downright hatefulness.

Realism knows that perhaps even a majority of those who ask for help at the meetinghouse door are making prey of good-hearted brethren, but it takes the time to politely ask a few questions and determine an appropriate action just in case.  Cynicism immediately tars them all with the same brush and sends them on empty-handed, both physically and spiritually.

Realism is compassion tempered with wisdom.  “Be ye wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”  Cynicism is malice fueled by pessimism.  It looks for the worst, it expects the worst, and ultimately it rejoices in finding it.  That is about as un-Christlike as it comes.

So watch the butterflies today and enjoy them.  You can always check for caterpillars in the parsley later, and then rejoice when you only find a few.

[Love} does not rejoice at unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  1Cor 13:6-7.

Dene Ward

 Seeking advice is a God-authorized activity.  Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life Prov19:20.  I must have found a hundred passages that say the same thing in nearly as many different ways.  One of the main reasons for the church is for us to encourage each other, advise each other, edify and even rebuke each other when necessary.  God surrounds us with older, wiser people who have been through what we are now going through and who want more than anything to help us get through it without the pain they incurred.  Listen to them!

 Unfortunately, very few do.  I have watched again and again with tears and heartbreak as people I love either refuse to even ask for advice or listen to the wrong advice from the wrong people, and ultimately, make mistakes they did not have to make.  When I am online seeing to this blog, answering questions, getting rid of spam, wracking my brain for yet another post to try to help those who take the time to read, I also check the blog's Facebook page and in the process more than once have seen yet another young wife or mother go to the wrong person for advice.  The lesson of Solomon's son Rehoboam falls on deaf ears again and again.

 Then King Rehoboam consulted with the elders who had served his father Solomon when he was alive, asking, “How do you advise me to respond to these people? ” They replied, “Today if you will be a servant to these people and serve them, and if you respond to them by speaking kind words to them, they will be your servants forever.” But he rejected the advice of the elders who had advised him and consulted with the young men who had grown up with him and served him1Kgs12:6-8.  Ultimately, he took the advice of young men who had never been king, had never tried to run a kingdom, and certainly had never cared for the citizens of that kingdom as a godly king should.  That is why the nation of Israel divided—an arrogant young man refused to take good advice.

 Recently I saw a post on childrearing that was linked by a young Christian woman.  I had never heard of this blog or the person writing it, but when I followed the link I was appalled.  The advice this young mother thought so wonderful came from a stripper!  I wanted to cry.  Why, oh why wouldn't she go where the Bible tells us to go—to people who are faithful to God?  And the only answer I could get from reading her own words was that she did not like the advice she got from them.  Like Rehoboam, she was in the market for advice, but only advice she wanted to hear.

 The only way advice will do you any good is to be teachable.  If you already have your mind made up, you will never learn anything.  Once you have decided to seek advice you must find someone who has been there and successfully navigated the waters you find yourself floundering in.  For example, if it's childrearing you need help with, look for someone who has raised godly children.  The more difficult part may be to find someone who loves you and has enough strength to tell you what you do not want to hear.  Most people know exactly what will happen if you tell someone they are wrong about something—you might just lose a friend—so they won't do it.  If you find someone who loves you enough to tell you what you need to hear, love them back by listening and not getting angry.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are profuse  Prov27:6. We all have blind spots.  It takes someone else to see them—or they wouldn't be called blind spots!  Ask that someone and believe what they tell you.  They are not making this up.   Be not wise in your own eyes; Fear Jehovah… Prov3:7.

 When we talk about being Bible believing people that should cover every aspect of our lives, not just how we worship or the steps to salvation.  It means when God says go to certain people for advice, then if you believe His Word, that is what you will do.  Please, please be careful who you seek out for counsel and do not let your own opinions get in the way of following it.  Your family is counting on you.

But you must say the things that are consistent with sound teaching. Older men are to be level headed, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may teach the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered  Titus2:1-5.

Dene Ward

Have you ever apologized to anyone?  Let me rephrase that.  Have you ever apologized in the Biblical way?  You mean there is a difference?  I think there is a huge one.

 The first two definitions of “apology” in my Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary are 1} a formal justification; a defense; and 2) an excuse.  The original word is Greek, apologia.  Paul used it in Acts 22:1 and 25:16 when he made his “defense” at his trials.  Understand this, in no way was he admitting wrong, and none of us would have expected him to.  He was in trouble for preaching the gospel.  He was defending himself, giving “a formal justification.”  That is not the kind of apology I am talking about either.

Yet that is exactly the way most of us apologize—we defend ourselves.  We say, “I’m sorry you got hurt,” placing the fault on the other person, instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you.”  We say, “If I did anything wrong, I’m sorry,” as if to call in question the one we are “apologizing” to.  We give excuses for why we did what we did to make sure everyone knows “it wasn’t my fault.”  We do everything we can to avoid admitting wrong.

 Webster finally gives this as his last definition:  “An admission of error accompanied by regret.”  More to our point, this is the definition Jesus gives:  if he sin against you seven times in the day, and seven times turn again to you, saying, I repent; you shall forgive him.  Luke 17:4.  If he “turn again to you saying, I repent.”  No defense, no excuses, no justification, just “I was wrong.”  Have you ever apologized that way?

 I daresay most of us have not.  Yet that is exactly the way we are to apologize to God too.  Have you? Or do we, in our prayers, justify ourselves with phrases about being “only human,” or about “how hard it is, Lord,” or even “how mean he was to me first—you know he provoked me, Lord.”  What God expects from us is change for the better, Vine’s definition of the word.  That necessarily involves admission of guilt.  If not, why would we need to change?  And that is the same word Jesus used in Luke 17: 4.  “I repent,” plain and simple.

 So I ask you again, have you ever truly apologized in the Biblical sense, what Jesus called “repentance?”  The next time you begin with, “I’m sorry,” just stop after that second word.  Don’t allow yourself excuses or justification.  Just apologize.  You cannot correct error in your life without admitting it first, and once it’s been admitted, if you truly are a child of God, the responsibility to change cannot help but affect you.

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5.

Dene Ward