October 2014

23 posts in this archive

When Soap Doesn't Work

    I was 18, but I might as well have been 12.  Looking back I can see the warning signs, but as naĂŻve as I was then I was blind to them.

    The summer between my freshman and sophomore college years I had found a job not far from the house at a concrete plant.  I had signed on as a “tile sorter” out in the warehouse on a crew full of women, but the yard boss saw on my application that I knew how to type so the first morning he made me the office secretary.  

    The work was simple and a little scarce—I answered the phone; I made the coffee; I figured payroll from the time cards and passed out paychecks.  I might have typed three letters all summer long.  Finally I found the old directory of suppliers and other concrete plants in the area.  It was scratched out and scribbled over with address and telephone changes so I gave myself the chore of researching and re-typing that whole thing on the days when there was literally nothing else to do for hours.  I think the whole point of me being there was so the yard boss could say he had a secretary like the big guys up in the front office.

    Aside from the pride issue, he was a decent man, a Jehovah’s Witness who actually talked with me about religious things when he was free.  He seemed impressed when I showed him a passage or two he didn’t know was there.  

    But his immediate underling was not as nice a man as he pretended to be when the boss was there.  Not that I knew it at first or none of this would have happened.  I can look back on it now and hear his words and know what he was thinking as surely as if he told me out loud, but not then.  I was too innocent and trusting.

    One day late in the summer I found myself alone in the office with him.  The old clerk was sick and the yard boss had been called up to the front office on the highway, a good quarter mile walk through the hot dusty yard beneath overhead cranes.  I had gone to the front counter to look for some forms and suddenly I found myself hemmed into a corner with this six foot something, 250 lb, fifty year old man coming right at me   Before I knew it, he grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me.

    I am not sure what he expected, but somehow I got loose, slipped around him, and ran as fast as I could to the only restroom in the place, a grimy cubbyhole about four foot square.  I locked the wooden door, grabbed a scratchy, brown paper towel and scrubbed my face over and over and over and over.  Then I re-wet the towel, added more soap and went at it again.  I couldn’t stop myself.  It’s a wonder I didn’t draw blood.

    Now look at Psalm 51:2.  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.  This is the psalm David wrote after Nathan convicted him of the sins of adultery and murder.  I have read that in the Hebrew “wash me thoroughly” is literally “multiply my washings.”  After at least a year, long enough for Bathsheba to bear a child and that child to die, David finally realizes the enormity of his sins and feels the remorse like a knife in his heart.  One little plea for forgiveness won’t do in his mind, not for the terrible things he has done.  He feels the need for ritual cleansing over and over and over and over.  It isn’t a failure to accept God’s forgiveness; it’s an overwhelming sense of absolute filth.  

    When I read the literal meaning of “wash me thoroughly” those feelings I had standing in that grubby little bathroom over forty years ago came flooding back to me.  And now, like never before, I realize exactly how I ought to feel when I ask God’s forgiveness.  What I have done to Him is much worse than that which was done to me by a sordid lecher so many years ago.

    You need to feel it too.  If there is anything that will dowse your temptations like a bucket of water on a fire, that will.  I am not sure now how long I stood there shaking, sick to my stomach, but I did not leave that hideous little room until I heard other voices in the office.  Nothing was going to get me out there until I was sure I was safe.    

    Sin in your life will corrupt you.  Soap won’t get it out, no matter how many times you wash yourself.  Only the blood of the Lamb and the grace of God can cleanse you.  And even then, you should feel the need for more, and more, and more, and more, until finally you can face yourself in the mirror.  

    If you are having trouble with temptations today, remember this little story.  It’s not something I share lightly.

Though you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, the stain of your guilt is still before me, declares the Lord GOD, Jer 2:22.

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, That the bones which you have broken may rejoice, Psalm 51:7,8.

Dene Ward


Practice Makes Perfect

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            The gospel is nothing if not practical.  God was more interested in helping us live our lives every day than equipping us to sit in dusty rooms arguing theology.  So today let’s be eminently practical.

            I am sure you have heard “practice makes perfect” your entire life.  It is wrong.  The only thing practice makes is permanent.

            One of the things I had to train many of my piano students to do was to practice correctly.  They would come in with the same mistakes week after week.  First they played the wrong note (the same wrong note in the same piece at every lesson), and then they would correct it.  What they had taught themselves to do was to play the wrong note first, then stop and play the right one.  Correcting it did not make the competition judge happy.  He wanted a perfect performance the first time. 

            When their poor practice habits became obvious, we had to start all over.  First I had them tell me the name of the correct note, saying the name aloud several times which I then repeated to them.  “Right, it’s an F#, an F#, an F#.”  Then I had them find that note and play it with the correct finger, while saying its name over and over.  Then I had them play the note before it and after it until they played that three note sequence correctly no less than three times in a row.  If they made a mistake, we started counting all over.

            Then we backed up one measure and played past it one measure, once again until they could do it correctly three times in a row.  Then we backed up one phrase and played past it one phrase until they could play the three phrases correctly three times in a row.  You get the picture.  We practiced it correctly over and over, using as many senses as possible, hearing ourselves say the correct name of the note, feeling the correct note under the finger, seeing the correct note both on the page and as we played it, and then playing through without the bad habit of doing it wrong first.  Usually that took care of the problem.

            What do we do as Christians?  Do we teach ourselves to do it wrong first, then pray for forgiveness over and over, constantly making the same mistakes?  Practice makes permanent.  Maybe it is time to do a little analysis. 

            Why do I keep doing the same thing again and again?  “That’s just the way I am,” is not an acceptable reason; it is a lame excuse.  God expects us to change the way we are.  If it took such detailed, tedious work to undo a bad habit in a piano piece, why do we think we don’t have to really work at it to undo a bad habit in our thoughts or behaviors, where Satan is actively pulling against us?  Some of my students may have been little devils, but that is not why they played wrong notes!  So why should sin be easier to fix?

            Often just the fact that I am owning up to my sin and thinking about the problem will do a world of good, but if you really want to make progress—and I assume we all do--it takes more effort than that.. 

            Make a plan and follow it.  Find three times in the day to pray about that particular problem.  Find three passages about that sin and read them over and over.  The next day pray again and find three more passages.  Do that every day, praying, listing and reading.  Keep a journal of all the times that problem rears its ugly head.  Write down every detail of the situation, how it happened, what caused it, and how you handled, or mishandled, it--without blaming anyone else.  When you finally have a victory, celebrate with a prayer of thanksgiving and your favorite hymn.  Call a friend with whom you have shared your problem (James 5:16) and tell them about it so they can rejoice with you. 

            You do not have to do all of these things in all of these particular ways and numbers, but do something to help yourself kick the habit.  Think about how you set about to lose weight, keeping track of what you eat (including the no-noes) and how much you exercise each day. Remember how those nicotine patch commercials show people stepping down one level at a time till they reach their goal?  But you should be stepping UP one level at the time to reach yours.

            Practice makes permanent.  Make sure you are practicing correctly.

No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him,  and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God, 
1 John 3:9.

Dene Ward

School Days

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            I can hardly believe it, but Silas has started school.  When he found out he had to go back the second week, he said, “You mean I have to go again?!”

            “Yes,” his mother told him, “there is a lot to learn.”

            “But I already learned,” he said, sure that now he would get to stay home with her and his little brother.  Of course, he found out otherwise quickly.

            I know that no one would say it out loud, but sometimes I get the feeling some of my brothers and sisters have the same attitude.  “I already learned!” which is supposed to justify their never studying for a Bible class, never attending an extra Bible study, never darkening the meetinghouse doors for anything but the Lord’s Supper, as if it were a magic potion that would save them that week regardless of anything else they did.  What they have “learned” are usually the pet scriptures, the catchphrases, the simplistic theories that try to explain away the profound depth of the Scriptures—all those things that smack so much of a denominational mindset.

            I have amazing women in my Bible classes, and let me tell you, most of them are neither young nor new Christians.  These are women of a certain age, as we often say, who have sat on pews for longer than many others have been alive, yet they see the value in learning still more. 

            And that does not necessarily mean learning something new.  Sometimes the learning has more to do with a deeper comprehension, uncovering another level of wisdom, or an additional way of applying a fact to one’s life, leading to a changed behavior or attitude.  When I see someone in their later years actually change their lives because of a discovery made in Bible class, I am reminded yet again of the power of the Word.  The most amazing thing about this living and active Word, is that if you are not blinded by self-satisfaction, every time you study it you can see something new.  It’s like peeling an onion—you keep finding another layer underneath.

            You may have “already learned” a great many things, but if that is your attitude, you will never grow beyond the boundaries you have placed upon yourself with that notion.  Like a kindergartner who has learned his letters and numbers, you will be stuck in the basics, the “first principles,” and never come to a fuller comprehension of the magnitude of God’s wisdom and His plan for you.  If you are still deciding how long to keep a preacher based upon how much you “enjoy” his preaching and how many times he visited you in the hospital, if you are mouthing things like “I never heard of such a thing” or “I am (or am not) comfortable with that,” with not a scripture reference in sight, you still have a long way to go. 

            God wants meat-eaters at His banquet.  That means you need to chew a little harder and longer.  Yes, it takes time away from recess to sit in class and learn some more.  Yes, you have to process some new information which may not be as comfortable as you are used to.  Your brain may even ache a little, but that is how you learn, by stretching those mental muscles instead of vegetating on the pew.

            You may think you have “already learned,” but I bet you even my kindergartner grandson will have figured out very shortly that there is a whole lot more he needs to know.  He’s pretty smart for five.  How about you?

 Whom will he teach knowledge? and whom will he make to understand the message? them that are weaned from the milk…Isa 28:9.

Wherefore leaving the doctrine of the first principles of Christ, let us press on unto perfection…Heb 6:1.

Dene Ward