November 2014

19 posts in this archive

Motivators

    Several years ago I was teaching the fourth grade Bible class when the subject of Heaven came up.  One of our nine-year-olds was refreshingly candid.  “From what I hear about Heaven,” she began, “it’s going to be just like going to church forever what with all that singing and praising God, and I am not sure I want to do that.”

    I laughed that day, but I have thought about it a lot.  All those descriptions of Heaven are supposed to be motivators, and this little girl was not motivated.  “If you’re good you get to sit still forever and listen to boring sermons.”  What have we done?  We know those descriptions are figurative.  We know there will be no streets paved with gold.  Gold is notoriously soft.  Can you imagine what it would look like by the time we all walked on it?  Yet, even though we know these things, we seem to have missed the point.

    Those first century Christians lived a day to day existence.  They prayed for their “daily bread” because they had no idea if they would have enough that day, let alone tomorrow.  The farmers among them existed at the mercy of the weather and natural disasters.  The shopkeepers and artisans lived at the mercy of the economy.  No one was going to “bail them out.”

    To those people, a place so wealthy that gold and precious jewels were used as construction material, meant security.  It meant rest from working long hours day after day to simply exist.

    Those people lived under the rule of a foreign king.  Doubtless they had all seen wars and battles.  They knew, in fact, that the Barbarian Hordes could still come over the mountains and wipe them out.  Did 9/11 cause you some concern?  Has it made you worry more about the possibility of terrorists under every bush?  Those first century Christians lived with that sort of uncertainty every day of their lives.  In fact, they probably had more safety as a conquered people than ever before.  But the picture of a huge city with huge walls meant safety and peace forever.  Security—that is what those pictures of Heaven were all about, not materialism.  I have no doubt that if John were writing to us, he would use other motivators.

    And that is my point today—give your children motivation that means something to them.  Say something like “Heaven is a place where you never have to go to bed.  It’s a place where you can play all day and never be scolded.”  And as they get older perhaps, “Heaven is a place with no homework, a place where you can play video games as long as you want without your thumbs aching, a place you can hang out with your buddies forever.”  You tell them that whatever Heaven is like, it is as wonderful to the soul as these physical things are to their physical lives.  As they get older, you will have directed their training and teaching so that the motivators become more spiritual and less material. 

    But you know what?  There are still days I think Heaven should be a big kitchen I can cook in all day without my back hurting, with the dishes magically cleaning themselves, and with all the finished products looking exactly like the pictures in the cookbooks and tasting just as wonderful!  Sometimes you need that sort of motivation and so do your children.  .

    But at this stage of our lives, Keith and I have a different motivation—he knows he will HEAR those beautiful songs, and I know I will SEE the glory of God.  Is that still just a little physically-minded and materialistic?  Maybe, but it works.

And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth are passed away; and the sea is no more.  And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven of God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband
having a wall great and high; having twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels; and names written thereon, are of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel: And the building of the wall thereof was jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto pure glass. The foundations of the wall of the city were adorned with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, chalcedony; the fourth, emerald;  the fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, topaz; the tenth, chrysoprase; the eleventh, jacinth; the twelfth, amethyst. And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; each one of the several gates was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass
 and there shall in no wise enter into it anything unclean, or he that makes an abomination and a lie: but only they that are written in the Lamb's book of life, Rev 21:1,2,12,19-21,27.

Dene Ward

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Hell Is Real

Today’s’ post is by guest writer Helene Smith.

People are going to Hell. Literally.  Look around.  That guy who sits down the table from you at lunch, the lady behind you in the line at Walmart, that cute family who visited at your church last week, your Aunt Susie, they could all be headed for Hell.

Do I have your attention? 

Recently my husband and I read a pair of books by Thom Rainer, Breakout Churches: Discover how to make the Leap and Surprising Insights from the Unchurched and Proven Ways to Reach Them. The books had a lot of startling conclusions.  But perhaps the most surprising of all was this - churches that preach a clear doctrine of Hell are churches that are likely to be growing.

I'll take counterintuitive for a 1,000, Alex.

I'd have supposed that itching ears were happy to hear some less Biblically rigorous doctrine. Perhaps they are, but still the churches who are "intolerant" and "exclusive" (notice I did not say harsh or unloving) are the churches that are growing. The survey concluded that if the leaders and the followers in a church don't believe with all their hearts that Jesus provides the one and only way to escape eternal punishment in Hell, the church will be remarkably ineffective in terms of evangelism.

And I think I know why.  Churches grow evangelistically (not by sheep rustling- stealing members from the church down the road) when the whole church is involved in telling their friends about Jesus. And that's a high stakes game.  When our friend says, "I've got NO life.  Not a thing going this weekend! You?"  And we say, "I'm going to church, wanna come?"  We're really putting ourselves out there.  When our friend says, "I just feel like there's something missing."  And when we reply, "I used to feel that way too," proceeding to tell them the story of how we became a Christian, we've left our heart naked before them.  No one likes being branded, no one likes being rejected.  So what on earth is a strong enough motivator to get Joe Christian to step out like that? Why would we pay the cost?

Love.

I know.  You thought I was going to say fear, as in a fear of the lake of fire.

But see, if my coworker is going to hell, and I don't love them, I don't care. Seriously, I might be sorry but not sorry enough to stretch out my neck.  A good hellfire and brimstone sermon might bring ME to Christ but it is not nearly enough to make me tell someone I couldn't care less about.

But love?  Love is  a whole different story.  Love will keep us up at night. Love makes our stomach hurt.  Love makes us say things, hard things, honest things, because we care more about that person's well-being than peace in the relationship.  

Moreover, loving God drives us to love people.  He fashioned them.  They are his spitting image.  He DIED so that they could live. When we love him, really love him, when we know how much he loves them, we can't help but love them too. John puts it like this, "for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.  And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also."

Churches grow when each and every person sees the world in two categories: redeemed and redeemable.  Churches grow when Christians look at their work-a-week coworkers, family members, and friends with Jesus' eyes.  They see sheep without a shepherd (Mark 6:33-35), and their hearts are moved by compassion.  Churches grow when we believe that hell is real, people are lost, and that if we love them at all we have to tell them so. 

Helene Smith

More of Helene’s writings may be found at www.maidservantsofChrist.com

Changing of the Guard

My high school class was just a year or two too young to lose many to the Vietnam War, but we knew upperclassmen who went, and Keith was in the Marine Corps from ‘67 to’71.  My life could easily be different now.
    The way those men were greeted when they came home from that horror is a shame to our country.  They did not start that war; they were just pawns on a larger political chessboard.  The ones who spat on them and called them names were, by and large, a younger group who had never fought in a war, never experienced any sort of economic deprivation, but rather, had their lives handed to them on a silver platter.  
    In 1994 another group of veterans was finally given the honor they deserved in the many 50th anniversary observances of D-Day.  They were called “the Greatest Generation,” for making it through the Great Depression and then going on to fight for their country.  Many gave the ultimate sacrifice, as we call it.  Of the few still left, others still suffer from the injuries they incurred.  Many more still bear the pain of emotional scars from that awful conflict.  Truly they deserve our respect and our gratitude.  
    So what has happened?  1994 is gone.  I live in Florida, where a great many retirees, many of whom are veterans, finish their lives.  They are regularly the brunt of jokes and disrespect from a generation that may never know the trials that group went through, solely because those people went through those trials.  Funny how time can wreak such havoc with attitudes isn’t it?
    Unfortunately, I have seen the same thing happen in the Lord’s body.  A younger generation sneers at an older one because it is older, because it doesn’t understand that society is a bit different, and what was once expedient no longer is.  Yet that older generation is the one who saw the problems in the work force during the 40s, a war machine grinding out supplies at a pace unheard of before.  They were the ones who saw the need for a Sunday evening service so that those Christians who were working shifts would not be left out of the group activities, so they too could experience the encouragement that comes from praising and thanking God together.  
    You know what?  When they came up with that idea, it was new, it was different--it broke all the traditions.  Don’t sit there on your high horse and accuse them of not being able to change with the times.
    That is why those things are so hard for them to give up.  Yes, for some there may be an attitude problem, perhaps a willfulness or stubbornness that should be dealt with, but I would suggest that is not the case for most.  Just because someone has a difficult time seeing the need for an expedient change, does not mean he is a Pharisee, which seems to be the accusation du jour.  Too many times we act towards them with a disrespectful scorn and impatience, while at the same time being happy to stand on those same tired, hunched shoulders, shoulders that bore the burden of fighting the battles that have kept the church sound and faithful to the Lord.  Where would we be now without them?  
    My generation and the one just younger need to be careful.  Withholding respect and honor and cloaking it as righteousness is simply another facet to the same Phariseeism we claim to abhor (Mark 7:8-13).  Our Lord would not like it now any more than he did two thousand years ago.
    So please, be a little more careful how you speak to and about the old warriors.  Be understanding of the feelings they must have, seeing their world change perhaps more than any other generation before.  Be grateful to them for what they have been through and the battles they have fought.  One of these days, another generation will come along and look at you and the things you don’t want to change.  What kind of example will you have left them?

You shall stand before the gray head and honor the face of the old man, and you shall fear your God.   I AM Jehovah, Lev 19:32.  

Dene Ward

The Naomi Project 3--Love and Friendship

Think not that I came to send peace on the earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law: and a man's foes [shall be] they of his own household, Matt 10:34-36.

    What Jesus says in the above passage clearly shows the expected atmosphere of the home.  It was not considered normal for a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law to have strife between themselves.  Even in a day of extended family in one compound, and often one house, the relationships were expected to be good ones.  For that to happen in such close quarters, beyond the mere acceptance we discussed last week, there had to be love.
    And such it was with Naomi and her daughters-in-law.  Notice in Ruth 1:4-6, even after their husbands died, these young women stayed with Naomi.  This was now a house of mourning and a house of poverty as well.  We do not understand the plight of the widow in that culture and time.  They had no widows’ pensions, no life insurance policies, no food stamps, and getting a job was pretty well limited to selling oneself as a bondservant.  Yet Naomi had cultivated such a wonderful relationship with these girls that they didn’t leave her, even though they both had families they could have gone home to (1:8).  These girls knew they were loved and that counted far more than food on the table.  Can you imagine what such a relationship must have been like?  
    When Naomi heard the famine had left Israel and she decided to go back home, even then both of them were determined to go back with her.  Not just to go on a trip, but to leave the culture they grew up in, to go where strangers were not particularly appreciated, where they would depend upon those very people to leave enough in the fields for them to survive on.
    And because of her genuine concern for them, Naomi did her best to send them back to their families.  I have heard people criticize her for this, as if she were sending them to Hell herself.  Once again our misunderstanding of culture has made us harsh and judgmental.  Their very survival could depend upon where they settled.  At home they would once again be under their father’s care and he would probably waste little time making a marriage transaction.  Marriage was more about survival than love in those days.  The love usually followed after years of handling the trials of life together.
    And why couldn’t they have continued to worship God, even in Moab?  Pockets of believers still dotted the landscape that far back.  Job for one.  I have heard a pretty good case made for him being an Edomite.  Then there was Jethro, a priest of God who was a Midianite.  And how about Naaman, who when he went back home prayed to God, In this thing Jehovah pardon your servant: when my master goes into the house of Rimmon to worship there, and he leans on my hand, and I bow myself in the house of Rimmon, when I bow myself in the house of Rimmon, Jehovah pardon your servant in this thing, 2 Kings 5:18.  Naaman fully intended to continue serving Jehovah, even though his occupation sometimes had him enter an idol’s temple.  Elisha’s answer was, “Go in peace.”  So why in the world couldn’t these girls serve Jehovah in Moab?  Naomi wanted what was best for them in their lives and evidently she had enough faith in them to know they could stay faithful to God even without her standing over them.
    And so Orpah did go back, crying all the way, (1:14).  But Ruth would not.  I am not sure her level of faith was any higher than Orpah’s, but I am sure her level of love for her mother-in-law was as high as it gets.  You don’t inspire that level of love and devotion without consistency and a large amount of time.  Especially in that culture, I have no doubt they worked together, laughed together, maybe even shared a few secrets as women are prone to do—sisterhood we call it nowadays, but one that also came with respect for an older woman who proved her love was genuine over and over and over.
    What are you inspiring in your daughter-in-law?  You can’t build a good relationship if she thinks you look down on her, if she thinks you resent her, if she thinks nothing she does is good enough.  She will never learn to trust that you have her best interests at heart if you are constantly criticizing, taking offense at her words, finding hidden meanings where there are none.  When you say to her, “I decided I would accept whoever my son brought home as his wife no matter what!” you are being far more transparent than you realize.  There would have probably been a “no matter what” no matter who he brought home.
    Genuine love and friendship, not something forced or pretended, that’s what every daughter-in-law needs from her mother-in-law.  And it will show in everything you do and say.

But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you." And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more. Ruth 1:16-18.

Dene Ward

The Hitchhiker

We live thirty miles from the meetinghouse, about forty minutes with good traffic flow and no construction.  Otherwise it can be up to an hour. 

    To make the before-services meeting of the men who will be serving that day, we usually leave our house about 7:45 every Sunday morning.  One Sunday we passed a hitchhiker at the four-way stop a couple of miles from the house.  He was an older gentleman, decently dressed, holding a sign that said “Gainesville.”  So we stopped and picked him up.  We understood that he was taking a risk too, so as he settled into the backseat we mentioned that we were on the way to church and pointed out our stack of Bibles next to him.  This instantly set him more at ease, and he talked with us some. 

     He was on his way to work at Sears, a good thirty miles from the corner where we had picked him up, and several miles opposite where we were headed.  He didn’t have to be there till noon, but since he did not know how long it would take to get a ride, he had left his house on foot at seven-fifteen and made it to the corner where we found him.  His car had broken down and he was only able to buy a part a week as his paycheck came in, so until he fixed it, he was hitching rides.

    “But just take me as far as you can and I’ll thumb another ride and another until I get to the bus stop in front of Wal-Mart.  If I make it there by eleven I can get the bus I need in time.”  We took him all the way to Wal-Mart.

    Now just imagine this:  you find out your car doesn’t run on Saturday.  You live way out of town where no one else does.  How early would you be willing to get up to hitch a ride to a nine o’clock service?  That isn’t the half of it, people.  What others things do we miss doing for the Lord because we aren’t willing to make a sacrifice like that, because it’s so easy to say, “I can’t?”  This man was nearly 70 years old, yet he spent nearly five hours every morning getting to work, working a whole shift, and then more hours getting home after work—in the dark.  Have you ever gone to that much trouble for the Lord?

    The next Sunday the man was once again at the four-way stop.  We picked him up and dropped him off at Wal-Mart once again, after inviting him to sit with us at church till eleven, with an offer to take him straight to Sears afterwards.  He politely declined, and also declined to tell us exactly where he lived when we offered to pick him up and take him to work every day.  But he did tell us that his wife had died several years before and he had lost all his savings paying for her medical care.  “I have to have this job,” he said.  “I am only six payments from paying off my mortgage, but without a paycheck I will lose my home.”

    Ah!  There was the real motivation.  He didn’t want to lose his home, an old double wide on a rural lot.  He got up at 6:30 every day for a job that didn’t start till noon, so he could be sure of getting there.  And he did it so he wouldn’t lose a humble, barely comfortable home.

    We have a home waiting for us too, far better than that man had, a home that is eternal, “that fades not away.”  He didn’t want to lose his home.  Don’t we care whether we lose ours?

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God, Heb 11:8-10.       

Dene Ward


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Swagger

Have you seen them?  Nearly every dramatic television series these days has one—a shot of the team--police, spies, crime scene techs, Robin Hood types, doctors, even lawyers!—walking in a line three, four, five or more abreast, slow motion, grim determination etched on their faces, a breeze off the set blowing just enough to ruffle a curl onto a handsome, stony forehead or whip the jacket aside to show off an outline of chiseled physique.  Wow!  Who could ever beat these guys?

    No matter what you might say otherwise, this obligatory shot must impress us.  Otherwise it would not be “obligatory.”  Why does it succeed?  Because it projects a team filled with confidence, strength, and solidarity.  

    I seldom watch the Power Point on Sunday mornings now because I cannot read most of the passages and the announcements.  But I glanced up once a week or so ago, and the shot of our three elders flashed up.  We do that so any visitors from the community can recognize them easily.  I suddenly remembered all those slo-mo swaggers and wondered what the effect might be if we did one of those.  Knowing my humble shepherds as well as I do, I know they would be embarrassed, but I could not help but smile and think, “Our guys could pull it off.”

    Then I thought to myself, you know what?  It might not be such a wild thought.  Shouldn’t we as Christians have that swagger too?  Not because we are so good, but because of who would be standing in the middle of our line, perhaps a step or two ahead of the rest of us walking thousands abreast through the world.  How could it not have an effect?

    There was a time when that Leader did walk the roads with his twelve special followers beside and behind him.  But they did not have the swagger necessary for the full effect.  They were not as confident as they should have been.  Didn’t they all fear as the storm raged around their boat, even though they had their Lord with them, who lay calm enough to sleep despite the tossing waves?

    They were not as strong as they should have been.  Didn’t they sleep while he suffered in the garden, and then scatter when he was arrested?  

    They were certainly not as unified as they should have been.  More than once he caught them arguing about who was the greatest.

    We are not any better sometimes.  At least by the Day of Pentecost, fifty days after they fled in terror from the Roman soldiers, those men finally shaped up.  They went on to perform miracles, preach astounding sermons, and face persecution, even to the death.  

    What about us?  When will we mature enough to understand that with the Leader we have, we can turn the world upside down?  But only if we walk the walk.  

    Confidence:  I can do all things through him who strengthens me, Phil 4:13.

    Strength:  So that with good courage we say, The Lord is my helper, I will not fear; what shall man do to me? Heb 13:6.

    Solidarity:  That they may all be one, even as you Father are in me and I in you, that they may also be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me, John 17:21.

    If the world is not impressed with us, it is not because of our leader or his message.  It is because we have failed him.  Any confidence, strength, and solidarity we may have come only from our faith in him.  When we are lingering behind, cringing at what lies ahead, or tugging and fussing with one another instead of firmly, confidently striding out to the fight, all the Enemy will do is laugh.  
    
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world—and this is the victory that has overcome the world—faith, 1 John 5:4.

Dene Ward

Incomplete Evangelism

Today’s post is by guest writer Melissa Baker.

The Plan of Salvation. The steps to salvation.  The Roman Road. Personal testimony. Are these familiar to you?  As people who are already Christians, we memorize these in an attempt to learn to share the gospel with our friends.  All churches seem to have one version or another they stick to.  When I was a kid, I even had a bracelet with different colored beads to help me remember.  While none of these things are wrong, I recently read a book that challenged me to believe that many of these methods of evangelism don't go far enough in letting people know what being a Christian is all about.  

In his book The Gospel According to Jesus, John MacArthur explores the way that Jesus evangelized and compares it to modern church evangelism. While I must say that there is a whole host of things I disagree with the author about in this book (he is a staunch Calvinist), he made a strong argument that our simple plans of salvation don't come to the heart of conversion as Jesus taught it: someone who becomes a Christian must acknowledge through their actions the lordship of Christ.  

The New Testament is replete with the image of slavery, the idea that a Christian is a slave to Christ.  Our culture doesn't like to speak of slavery, most likely because of our relatively recent history with slavery in the Unites States.  Many versions of the Bible even omit the word "slave," exchanging it for the more politically correct word "servant."   But Mr. MacArthur points out that the Greek work doulos isn't talking  about a hired man.  "It describes someone lacking personal freedom and personal rights whose very existence is defined by his service to another.  It is the sort of slavery in which 'human autonomy is set aside and an alien will takes precedence of one's own.' This is the total, unqualified submission to the control and the directives of a higher authority -- slavery, not merely service at one's own discretion."

Jesus himself is the one who began to use this term, and he never softened its edges (Matthew 10:24-25; Matthew 25:21; Luke 9:57-62).  In fact, many times his hard teachings drove would-be followers away because they were unwilling to follow them.  The rich young ruler, for example, put his money before Jesus and would not follow Christ if it meant giving up his wealth (Matthew 19:16-22).  How many times have we made absolutely sure our Seekers know the cost of following Christ before they make a decision?  Jesus told a whole crowd of people exactly what they would have to give up.
Now large crowds were going along with Him; and He turned and said to them, "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.'" (Luke 14:25-30)

No simple plan of salvation I've seen has ever contained the enormity of these words, yet Jesus over and over again let people know that he was calling them to a changed life.  Not just a life of salvation, but a life of obedience to Him above all else.  

There is a man in my life whom I love dearly and pray for every day.  Because he intellectually believes everything about Jesus, he thinks his soul is secure.  I was understandably concerned because he had not put Christ on in baptism.  I thought if he would only do that, then I would be able to sleep at night knowing his salvation is secure.  But his refusal to be baptized is a sign of something much deeper.  He is unwilling to submit to the Lordship of Christ in any way, and because of the "easy believism" prevalent in the church today, he thinks he is safe.  My letter urging him to be baptized should have been a long conversation urging him to become a slave of Christ.  

What about you? What do you think of when you think of evangelism? An easy, five step process? A path through the Scriptures? That's the way I used to think about it, but The Gospel According to Jesus has challenged me to share my faith the way Christ, the Author of that faith, did. In turn, I challenge you to do the same.

Melissa Morris Baker
- See more of Melissa’s writings at: http://www.maidservantsofchrist.com/

Southernisms

I understand that the term “Southernism” refers to a trait of language or behavior that is characteristic of the South or Southerners.  I have a cookbook, Cooking Across the South compiled by Lillian Marshall, which extrapolates that definition to include certain Southern recipes, particularly older recipes.  She includes in that list things like hominy, frocking, poke sallet, and tomato gravy.  If you are from north of the Mason-Dixon Line, I am sure you are scratching your head at some of those things, wondering just what in the world they are besides strange.

    In the same vein, I wondered if we could stretch that idea to something we might call “Christianisms,” things a Christian would do that might seem peculiar to someone who isn’t one.  Like never using what the world now calls “colorful language;” like remaining calm and civil when someone mistreats you, doing, in fact, something nice for them; like not cheating on your taxes; like giving back the change that a cashier overpays you; like paying attention to the speed limit and other laws of the land even if there is not a trooper behind you; like cooking or cleaning house for an invalid; like making time for the worship on Sunday morning and arriving at the ball game late even if those tickets did cost a small fortune; like being careful of the clothing you choose to wear; like choosing not to see certain movies or watch certain television shows; like thinking that spending time with other Christians is far more enjoyable than things like “clubbing;” —these are my idea of Christianisms.  I am sure you could add more to the list.

    In the cookbook, I must admit, are many things I have never heard of, despite being a born and bred Southerner—frocking, for one.  You see I came along at a time when the South was starting to change, especially my part of it.  Disney changed everything.  Orlando used to be a one-horse town instead of the metropolis it has become.  I actually learned how to drive in Tampa on what is now I-275.  Can you imagine letting a first timer do that?  My part of the South has become less “southern” as the years have passed.  So, while I had roots in the traditions of the Deep South, I have lost familiarity with many of them.

    Wouldn’t it be a shame if we got to that point with “Christianisms?”  When you read that list I made, did you stop somewhere along the line and say, “Huh? Why would anyone do that?”  Have we allowed the “worldisms” to take the place of concepts and behaviors that ought to be second nature to us?  Can we even compose a list of things that make us different or have we become assimilated?

    Try making a list of the “Christianisms” in your life today.  Make sure you can come up with some, and if not, maybe it’s time to make a few changes.

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent,  children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation,  among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life
Phil 2:14-16a.

Dene Ward

The Naomi Project 2-Acceptance

Let’s just start our study with this simple observation:  Naomi accepted her daughters-in-law the way every young woman wants to be accepted by her husband’s family.  

    And Elimelech, Naomi's husband, died; and she was left, and her two sons. And they took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth: and they dwelt there about ten years. Ruth 1:3-4.

    If any mother-in-law could have complained about a foreign daughter-in-law, one raised in an idolatrous culture, Naomi could have—and she had not one, but two of them.  Instead she seems to have accepted them with open arms and without judgment.  In fact she seems to have taught them.  How easy would that have been if they had sensed resentment and suspicion?  I am sure her sons taught their wives as well, but those girls stayed with Naomi even after the death of their husbands, even before she decided to go back to Israel, and then they both wanted to go with her, not just Ruth.  Here is a mother-in-law who knew how to cultivate a loving relationship with those of another culture, with the women who came into her boys’ lives and became more important to them than she was.  That is hard for a mother, but her example says it can be done and is important in establishing a lasting and loving relationship with a daughter-in-law.

    Mothers-in-law today have the same obligation.  If your daughter-in-law is a Christian, count your blessings.  That should take care of any reservations you may have about her.  Now treat that new daughter like an especially beloved sister in Christ.  You would be surprised how many times people forget to treat family that way—“that’s church stuff,” I’ve heard.  Yes, and you are a member of the Lord’s church even in your home.  Act like it.

    But if she isn’t a Christian, cultivate that relationship for the thing that matters most—her soul.  You owe her that.  Paul said that as a Christian he was a debtor to everyone else to tell them the good news (Rom 1:14).  So are you.  Be kind, be patient, do not give her any reason to look down on Christianity or the church if you ever hope to gain her soul.  

    No matter what her background, accept her whole-heartedly.  Trust me, she will always be able to tell if you do not like her, no matter how hard you try to hide it.  Do not talk about “my son.”  He is now her husband, a relationship that supersedes the parent-child relationship.  A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh, Gen 2:24.  That’s what God said about it. In your mind, their two names should always be attached.  

    If you want a continuing relationship with your son, then do not come between them in any way.  Do not allow him to disparage her to you, and certainly do not revel in it if he does!  Do not ever allow him to say to her in your presence, “That’s not how Mom does it.”  Do not expect him to visit without her.  Do not expect him to drop everything and leave her and his family for anything less than an emergency.  From now on it is not “him,” it is “them.”  They are “one flesh.”  If it is wrong for man to put it asunder, it’s wrong for a mother-in-law to amputate it.

    Welcome your new daughter into the family with open arms.  You are the one with the obligation here, not her.

And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Will you go with this man? And she said, I will go
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife
Genesis 24:58,67

Dene Ward