I have discovered a little trick to help me get more out of my Bible study.  Too often, I read through passages that deal directly with things in my life without even realizing that they do.  It just goes right past me.  So, after a little meditation, I find something comparable in my own culture and time that I can “plant” into the passage.  Please note:  I am not trying to change the Word of God or make my own “private interpretation.”  I just want to be able to apply it to me and my problems so I can grow.  Here are a couple that have really helped me.  The bracketed words are the ones I planted.  You might want to read the cited passage before reading these altered ones.
            Rom 2:24,25:  For the name of God is blasphemed among [people of the world] because of you, even as it is written.  For [baptism] indeed profits if you are a doer of the law, but if you are a transgressor of the law, your [baptism] has become [un-baptism]. 
          Since circumcision, the token of the Old Covenant, is compared to baptism in Col 2:11,12, this was a no-brainer.  However, if you press it too far, you could wind up with a theological problem or two, so be careful.  The point is to make a passage sing out loud to you!  Reading the passage this way I can see that I cannot rely on having once been baptized to save me if my life does not live up to the New Covenant it represents.
            1 Cor 13:1-3:  [If I go to church three times a week in a certain building with a certain sign over the door] but have not love, I am become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  [If I take the Lord’s Supper every first day of the week, give more than a tenth, sing loudly, and say amen to every prayer] but have not love, I am nothing.  [If I don’t cheat on my spouse, lie, drink, or cuss] but have not love it profits me nothing. 
            As you can imagine, that one really strikes home.  How many times do I define faithfulness as “going to church and not doing the big bad sins?”  Faithfulness to the Lord involves striving to become like Him, and that means learning a selfless love, not following a learned routine.
            I believe the Word of God is alive and relevant to everyone’s life; God meant it to be that way.  Keeping it limited to another time and culture may make me feel better, but it won’t do a thing for my soul.  So give yourself some help today with a little wordplay.
 
For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart, Heb 4:12.
 
Dene Ward
           

Proverbs 31 is one of the best known chapters in the Bible—the worthy woman, or as the King James reads, the virtuous woman.  I decided to do a study on that word “worthy” and boy, was I surprised.  It has a depth of meaning I never suspected.
            The Hebrew word chayil is used 150 times in the Old Testament.  Look at these other words it is often translated by:  army, band of men, band of soldiers, company, forces, great forces, host, might, power, strength, substance, valor, war, able, strong, and valiant.  When you have a minute today, look up these passages where the word is translated by one of those:  Judg 21:10; 1 Chron 5:18; 2 Kgs 2:16; 2 Chron 33:14; 1 Sam 9:1; 14:48.  Of the 150 available, I think that is a good representation.  Can you find the word in those verses?  If you see one that has anything to do with brave, strong men, that’s it,”worthy.”
            We tend to think of strength and courage as specifically masculine traits, and yes, men may have the monopoly on brute strength, but look through Proverbs 31.  Not only does this woman have the strength to survive long, busy days, one after the other with no end in sight, but she has the inner strength to survive life!  “Hothouse flowers” who “have the vapors” are not who God had in mind when he created woman.
            A woman should have the strength to stand by a man through thick and thin, “in sickness and in health,” and all the other things she promised all those years ago, to manage her household (1 Tim 5:14), to teach her children, to help the needy, to serve the saints, and to stand against the wiles of the Devil, and to quench all the fiery darts of the Evil One, Eph 6:11,16.
            By using this word in Proverbs 31, both at the beginning of the passage, v 10 and at the end, v 29, God is surely telling us that he expects his women to be strong, inside and out. 
              Ladies, God says there is strength and courage in femininity—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
A worthy [strong, valiant] woman, who can find?  Her price is far above rubies; she girds her loins with strength, and makes her arms strong.  Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come.  Many daughters have done valiantly but you excel them all.  Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.  Proverbs 31:10,17,25,29,31.
 
Dene Ward

Many years ago we lived in an old frame house in front of a train track, on a corner lot right next to the crossing.  The boys were four and two, and they loved to run outside as soon as they heard the horn so they could wave to the engineer and watch the cars pass—boxcars, flatcars, tankers, and finally the caboose, usually with another trainman standing on its “back porch,” who also received an excited wave.  Before a week had passed, those men were craning their necks, looking for the two towheaded little boys so they could be sure to wave back. We learned the train schedule quickly:  one every morning about 8:30, one every afternoon about 4:00, and one every Saturday about midnight. 
            That first Saturday night train took about ten years off my life.  I came up out of a deep sleep when the horn sounded.  We had only been in the house two days and in the fog of sleep, I did not know where I was or what was happening.  Then I heard that train getting closer and closer, louder and louder.  I realized what it was then, but my perspective was so out of whack that it sounded like the train was headed straight for the middle of the house.  I sat straight up, frozen in terror until it had passed.
            Within two weeks I was sleeping through the din.  Not even the sudden wail of the horn woke me. During the day it took the tug of a little hand on my shirttail for me to hear the train coming so we could go out and wave.  Your mind tunes out what it doesn’t want to hear, and does a grand job of it.
            How many times do we tune out people?  When we learn another’s pet peeves, the things he goes on about at the least provocation, we no longer listen.  If we have the misfortune to deal with someone who nags, we tune that out.  Maybe we should learn the lesson to choose our battles.  If we want what we say to matter to people, don’t go on and on about the trivial or they will have tuned us out long ago and never hear the things they really need to hear.  Parents need to learn that.
            Then there is the matter of tuning out God.  Oh, we all want to hear how Jesus loved the sinners, but let’s not hear His command to, “Go thy way and sin no more.”  Let’s remind ourselves that the apostle Paul was not above preaching to some of the vilest sinners in the known world, fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate, abusers of themselves with men, thieves, covetous, drunkards, revilers, extortioners.  But let’s ignore the fact that he says they changed:  such were some of you; let’s ignore the fact that he said that in their prior state they were unrighteous and could not inherit the kingdom of God, 1 Cor 6:9-11.  That’s just one of the many things people don’t hear.
            Today, maybe we should ask ourselves what it is we don’t want to hear.  I imagine that it is the very thing we need to hear the most.
 
Why do you not understand my speech?  Because you cannot hear my word. He that is of God hears the words of God: for this cause you hear not, because you are not of God, John 8:43,47.
 
Dene Ward

In 1868, fifteen year old George Watt Park began selling seeds from his back yard garden in Libonia, Pennsylvania.  He put an ad in the Rural American, an ad which cost him the exorbitant amount (at that time) of $3.50.  Within a few weeks he had orders totaling $6.50.  He continued selling seeds, even making his own catalogue, an 8 page booklet using woodcuts for the only two illustrations.  By 1877 the catalogue had gone through a couple of name changes and alterations and was now called Park's Floral Magazine, with a circulation of 800,000.
            In 1918, George married one of his customers, Mary Barrett, and eventually moved the company to Greenwood, South Carolina, her hometown.  The company continued to grow, becoming a fixture for gardeners all over the country, until 2010 when the recession finally hit home and Park Seed declared bankruptcy.  Blackstreet Capital acquired the company on August 23, 2010, rescuing it financially, along with Jackson & Perkins, best known for their roses, for $12.8 million.  Park Seed Co continues to send out its catalogues and furnish gardeners with all their needs.  This pair of gardeners is thankful to still have them around.  The vast majority of our seeds and supplies come from them.
            We plant a lot of tomatoes in our garden.  We have learned by trial and error that it is far better to plant more than you think you can possibly use of several different varieties.  Some years one type produces better than the others.  Some years one will be wiped out by a disease that doesn’t touch the others.  Usually there is neither rhyme nor reason for any of it.  By planting several types, we can be sure to have some, if not all, bear fruit, and by planting too many, if it’s a bad year, we still have enough.  On the other hand, if it’s a good year, we can be generous with friends and neighbors.
            We have also learned which types work best in our area.  For a long time we could always find what we needed in plants, but gardening has become the fashion now, and just like clothes, certain types of tomatoes are popular, and practicality seldom has anything to with it.  You used to have to search far and wide for heirlooms.  Now you must search far and wide for the ordinary hybrids.  The problem with heirlooms, at least in our part of the country, is that they bear about 5% as much as the ordinary hybrid.  We usually plant 90-95 tomatoes to fill our needs in fresh tomatoes, canned tomatoes, tomato sauce, and salsa.  If we used heirlooms exclusively, we would need to plant nearly 2000.
            If we can’t find the reliable varieties of plants in the garden shops any longer, we can find their seeds in the catalogues we receive.  It’s a lot more trouble.  In our small home, we have to use the entire back bedroom to lay out the seed sponges and set up the grow-lights.  When they outgrow the sponges, they are still too small and delicate to place outdoors and the weather still too cold, so we have to transplant each one into a larger cup—all 90, one by one.  Then, when the weather finally turns, we have to carry them outside every day, a little longer every day, to harden them for the final transplant into the garden where they will be prey to sun, wind, insects, birds, and animals.  Because of our careful preparation, most of them make it.  We seldom lose more than half a dozen.
            All that because fashion has taken over in gardening instead of common sense and proven track records.  It happens in every area of life. 
            Don’t get me started on the organic craze.  People had been eating organic foods for thousands of years when Jesus came along and there were still plenty of sick people for him to heal and raise from the dead.
            Everyone knows how music changes.  As far as our songs in the assembled worship, we are seeing a whole lot more rhythm and a whole lot less depth in the words.  Or, “Wow!” someone says—usually someone with a music background—“this one actually uses Dorian mode!”  Yes, but can an untrained congregation sing it easily enough to focus on the lyrics and actually do some “teaching and admonishing?”
            Teaching has its fads.  We gave up phonics and wound up with “Johnny Can’t Read.”  In Bible classes we stopped teaching Bible facts to our children because we wanted them to develop the “heart” and not just the knowledge.  So now we have ignorant people tearing churches apart over things they should have been taught as children.  We used to be known for our Bible knowledge—now many of us are as clueless as any unbeliever on the streets.
            Yes, some things are changeable, and I have agreed with most of ours.  However, those things should be carefully weighed not only for their rightness, but also for the sake of pure old common sense.  Do we want to do it because it will work better for this group of people, or because everyone else is doing it?  Some of us wind up planting 2000 tomatoes just so we look good to the world, when 90 of the right kind would do just fine, probably better, at fulfilling the need. 
            The seed is the word of God, Jesus said.  Maybe it’s time we used the seed instead of chasing around looking for something new and exciting.  God’s way works, but only if you know it, and only if you use it.
 
Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them. Hosea 14:9
 
Dene Ward
 

As glad as I am that we no longer seem afraid to talk about the Holy Spirit in our lives these days, I am hearing other things that disturb me, disparaging comments about the Word:  “I know it can’t be just the word of God doing this” paraphrases some of the statements I am hearing.  Praise God that his Holy Spirit works in our lives, but do not treat any less respectfully one of his biggest feats:  translating the mind of God into words so that we mortals can comprehend what He has done for us and what He wants from us, 1 Cor 2:6-12.
            Paul calls the gospel the power of God unto salvation, Rom 1:16, and an angel told Cornelius to send for Peter who would tell him words whereby you shall be saved, Acts 11:14.  Peter tells us himself that God’s word contains all things pertaining to life and godliness, 2 Pet 1:3, and the Hebrew writer tells us the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart, 4:11.  What can God not accomplish with a Word like this?
            God told Jeremiah, Is not my word like fire…and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces, 23:29.  Have you ever seen the devastation that fire can cause?  Can you imagine anything more effective at changing the face of a wall than continually pounding it with a hammer?
            In Isaiah we learn how God’s word acts on both the good and evil.  For those who seek knowledge and understanding, it is precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little, 28:9,10.  And to those of strange lips, the word of Jehovah be unto them precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little, that they may go and fall backward and be broken and snared and taken, vv 11-13.  In other words, it acts the same way on all of us, but the results depend upon the heart who hears it. 
            And so it is.  After Peter preached on the day of Pentecost, they were pricked in their hearts, Acts 2:37, and those who received the word were baptized, v 41.  After Stephen preached the crowd was cut to the heart, Acts 7:54, and they stoned him to death, v 58.  The same knowledge of God’s word that saves some brings death to others, 2 Cor 2:14-17.  But either way, it is the Word that causes the result.
            God said the world would call it foolishness to try to save through preaching, 1 Cor 1:21.  Aren’t we guilty of the same thing when we devalue the power of God’s word?  Jesus was constantly quoting scripture, and in doing so He strengthened himself, defeated Satan, and saved the lost.  We should be following in His footsteps, treating God’s word with all the deference and respect it deserves, because it is truly the power of God. 
 
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says Jehovah.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.  For as the rain comes down and the snow from heaven, and returns not. but waters the earth, and makes it bring forth and bud, and gives seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes forth out of my mouth:  it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.  Isa 55:8-11

Dene Ward

We moved my mother move up here to be near us the last few years of her life.  She has accumulated a lot in 87 years.  Even though she gave away at least half of her kitchen equipment and several pieces of furniture, as the movers traipsed in and out and the little house begin to fill, we no longer said, “In the living room,” or “In the back bedroom.”  By the end we were telling them, “Just find an empty corner and put it there.”  True, the house is 100 square feet less than the one she left, but that’s only a 10 x 10 room, perhaps one very small bedroom, and there seems to be many more times that much furniture we have yet to find a place for.  It appears that she will need to give away even more.
            I found myself thinking what I might give up when we need to leave this place we have lived for 33 years now.  Relatively small as family homes go, just 1350 square feet, we still managed to raise two boys to manhood and have accumulated far more than will fit in a house the size of my mother’s new one.  So what can I do without?
            The answer is really simple.  You can do without practically every possession you have.  Just look at what we take camping.  It’s a lot to take for a vacation, but for living, it’s practically nothing and we manage just fine for well over a week. 
            But maybe the answer is even easier than that.  What will you take in the moving van when you die?  Absolutely nothing.  It will be empty from front to rear, top to bottom.  Absolute essentials for this physical life may be the smallest and plainest amounts of food, clothing, and shelter, but for your spiritual life, all those things that you spend so much time picking out, caring for, and working to pay for are completely nonessential 
            So why do we spend so much time and energy on them?  Why do we care so much where we live and how it is decorated, what we wear and who designed it, what we eat and how good it tastes?  Could it be because we have forgotten this fundamental truth:  things of this life—possessions, status, wealth, connections—none of it matters to the wise child of God. 
           Do they matter to you?  If you could not give them up, they matter more than you probably want to admit.  And if losing them would turn you into an emotional wreck, your priorities need a serious overhaul.
          Today, think about that moving van on the day of your death.  It doesn’t really matter what you might like to put in it.  Your soul is going somewhere, but it won’t move an inch.
 
Be not afraid when a man becomes rich, when the glory of his house increases. ​For when he dies he will carry nothing away; his glory will not go down after him, Ps 49:16-17.
Dene Ward

Another in the continuing series on Proverbs by our guest writer, Lucas Ward.

In chapter 3, James writes of the dangers our mouth can get us into.  "How great a forest is burnt with a little fire".  He speaks of the difficulty in controlling our tongues, going so far to say that no one can do so -- and obvious exaggeration as he then instructs us to learn to control it.  Controlling what we say and how we say it being a big part of wisdom, is it any wonder that Proverbs devotes more space to this subject than any other except the need for wisdom itself?  There are at least 86 passages in Proverbs dealing with proper control of what we say.  So many, in fact, that I originally did two sermons on the subject, rather than one, and will write two posts on the subject.
 
Prov. 10:11a  "The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. . ."
Prov. 10:14b  ". . . the mouth of a fool brings ruin near."
The first thing to think about is Proverbs' contrast of the mouth of the wise, righteous man with that of the foolish (and possibly wicked) man.  The outcomes of each are telling. 
Prov. 10:21  "The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense."
Prov. 12:13  "An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous escapes from trouble." 
Prov. 18:6-7  "A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.  A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul."
 
The mouth of the wise, righteous man is a fountain of life that feeds many and helps him escape from trouble.  The mouth of the foolish man brings ruin near, leads him to be ensnared for his crimes, and invites a beating.  So that leads to an obvious question:  How do I obtain and maintain a righteous mouth?
 
Prov. 17:27  "Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding."
The first answer to keeping my mouth righteous is to keep it closed.  Abraham Lincoln once said that it is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.  Solomon said something similar:
Prov. 17:28  "Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent." 
You can't possibly make any dumb mistakes with what you say if you don't say anything.  How often do we just ramble on unthinkingly and then realize we just put our foot into our mouth?
Prov. 10:19  "When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent." 
Prov. 13:3  "Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." 
The more we speak, the greater chance of transgressing, but we preserve our lives if we guard our mouths.
Prov. 18:13  "If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame."
If someone asks us a question, we need to think before we answer.  We especially need to hear the whole question before we answer.  Do you know anyone who is always finishing your sentences for you?  Occasionally, you are asking a question and they assume they know what you are going to ask and then answer the wrong question because they didn't listen, right?  And then you either laugh at them or get irked.  It is his folly and shame.
Prov. 21:23  "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble." 
Prov. 29:20  "Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him." 
One of the major themes in Proverbs is how much Solomon dislikes fools.  So for him to say that there is more hope for a fool than a man who is hasty in his words is a very strong statement.  So, the first lesson in how to have a righteous mouth is to keep it closed and to think very carefully before we decide to open it.
 
The second lesson should be second nature to Christians.  A righteous mouth is an honest mouth.
Prov. 24:26  "Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips."
Prov. 12:19  "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment."
Prov. 14:25  "A truthful witness saves lives, but one who breathes out lies is deceitful."
The liar may gain status for a bit, but the honest man with truthful lips is the one who endures.  The truthful man saves lives and his answer is like a kiss on the lips.  The righteous mouth is an honest mouth.

A righteous mouth is also graceful.
Prov. 15:26  "The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD, but gracious words are pure." 
Prov. 16:24  "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." 
If grace is unmerited favor then gracious words are kind, gentle words spoken to someone even if they aren't owed.  Even if they deserve worse.  These are words that bring people back together, rather than extending the fight.  These are words that heal and bring "sweetness to the soul".  These are words that a righteous mouth utters.

A righteous mouth is also kind.
Prov. 12:18  "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." 
Prov. 15:4  "A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."
Instead of striking again with the sword, our tongues should bring healing to the situation.  Our tongues can be like the tree of life or they can break someone's spirit.  Guess which is righteous?  Before we speak, we need to consider what is kind.
A righteous mouth is righteous because it is thoughtful.
Prov. 10:32  "The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse."
Prov. 15:23  "To make an apt answer is a joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is!" 
Prov. 15:28  "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things." 
If we take a moment to think, we know what is acceptable to say.  Of course, it isn't only what is said, but how it is phrased and even when it is said that makes it good or not.  The apt answer, not just correct but apt, brings joy.  The word spoken in the correct time is good.  A kind of silly example is Prov. 27:14  "Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing."  This man is bestowing a blessing, which is good and kind, but he is doing it at the wrong time.  That early morning blessing might as well be a curse as far at the recipient is concerned.  (This reminds me of when Dad used to call me just to chat at 7:00 a.m. on mornings after I had to close Publix and hadn't gotten to sleep until 2:00 a.m.  While I was happy Dad wanted to chat, I wasn't so happy at the timing and eventually unplugged my phone before going to bed.)  Also, the righteous man ponders, takes the time to think, before answering questions.  He knows his answers could affect another's life, and so he doesn't answer flippantly or too quickly.  He thinks before he speaks. 
 
Finally, the righteous mouth teaches others wisdom.
Prov. 10:11  "The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence."
Prov. 10:20-21  "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth.  The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense."
Prov. 25:12  "Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear." 
Prov. 10:31  "The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off." 

The mouth of the wise righteous man is a fountain of life, is choice silver, is like a gold ring, and brings forth wisdom.  There is value (gold, silver) to what he says.  It will help you live better.  It teaches wisdom.  This is how a person with a righteous mouth uses his mouth.
 
So I can use my mouth to help people, to teach wisdom, and to be kind, or I can use it to hurt others, to cause division and strife.  It takes effort to control, but I can maintain a righteous mouth.
Prov. 11:11  "By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is overthrown."
 
Lucas Ward

Every afternoon following our midday meal, we walk our property, counting new blooms on the roses, smelling the jasmine, and looking beneath those large scratchy leaves for new squash blossoms.  Usually I end up with a handful of wildflowers, blooms so tiny I cannot see them until Keith hands me one I can pull up close.
            Do you know what I see?  Blooms of all colors--red, pink, blue, white, yellow, orange, purple in all shades and combinations—and shapes—bells, tubes, bowls, cups, stars with five or six points, some flared, some rayed, some as complex as orchids.  And did you know that even the stems are different?  Some are wiry, some are leafless, some are hairy, some sprawl and others stand up straight, and some are square!  Some of these flowers are exquisite, but most of us don’t know that.  We’ve never taken the time to bend over and really look.
            A long time ago a woman who has since become a close friend, told me that looking across the pews at Keith had made her think he was stern and unapproachable, and so she had decided to make it a point to get to know him.  It wasn’t really Keith’s fault.  He has large, piercing blue eyes that look like they’re boring into you, a strong Roman nose, and a voice that, because he is profoundly deaf, is always in projection mode.  Even when he isn’t, he often sounds disapproving, and is always loud, which is often translated “angry.”  A lot of people just go with that first impression.  This woman did not, and she proclaimed that year of getting to know him “delightful.”   I wonder how many others have missed out on that delight, how many have formed an opinion, and kept it despite what others might have said.
            How many do we overlook?  The elderly because we think them dull and uninteresting?  The teenagers because we’ve branded them all shallow and naïve?  The disabled because we think they have nothing to offer?  The scholarly and intellectual because we think those dry old men can’t possibly know how to have any fun?  The ones who seem so well put-together that we think they wouldn’t possibly want anything to do with “someone like me?”  None of these judgments is fair.            
          Jesus told the Jews, “Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment,” John 7:24.  Maybe I should take the time (sacrifice) to bend over (be humble) and examine (make some effort) a few wildflowers out there, instead of passing over them (negligence) as if they weren’t worth my trouble (arrogance).  When I think of it that way, I finally understand why judging by appearance is NOT righteous.
 
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”  1Sam 16:7      
                          
Dene Ward

Roller coasters were never my favorite ride.  I much preferred Ferris wheels.  Riding it at night was a special treat—the cool air, always nice in Florida, whipping my hair around my face, the little flip my stomach gave as we came up and over the top and down to the ground, and, if I was really lucky, being at the top while the operator stopped to empty each swinging bench while I looked over the entire fairground and even saw deep into the streetlight-brightened city around us.
            But roller coasters?  They rattled my teeth, slung my head around painfully on my neck and didn't just flip my stomach, they yanked it up nearly into my throat.  I had boys, however, and Ferris wheels were far too calm and boring for them.  So roller coaster we did, up and down and around till I just knew the flimsy little car we sat in would fly off the track at any moment.
            Roller coasters have been around a long time.  They are direct descendants of huge ice slides, sometimes as high as 70 feet, which were popular in Russia in the 16th and 17th centuries.  Riders slid down them on sleds, crashing into a pile of sand at the bottom.  The French imported the idea, but since France was much warmer, they began using wax instead of ice.  They eventually added wheels to the sleds.  Then back in Russia, in 1817, the cars were finally attached to tracks.
            On August 16, 1896, Edwin Prescott was awarded a patent for the first Loop-de-Loop roller coaster, or as it was also called, a vertical loop.  In an attempt to improve comfort, he added rubber wheels and an elliptical shape to the loop rather than a circle.  Still, a lot of people complained.  The forces on the human body caused aches and pains that many did not care to experience.
            The same is true of living on a roller coaster in life.  While it is true that we will have our ups and downs, that peaks and valleys in life are normal, letting them have constant sway in our lives will make our faith vulnerable and the steadfastness God asks of us only an impossible dream.  Yes, we may falter once in a while.  Many passages speak of faith in flux, but as we mature in that faith, the flux should become smaller and smaller.  David speaks of the opposite of a roller coaster faith, even when he is running for his life in Psalm 57:7.  “My heart is steadfast, O God,” or, in several other versions, “My heart is fixed.”  In a time of fear when others would have wavered, David is able to keep his faith in God steady. 
            So the question is, how do we avoid the roller coasters in life?  First, let’s make it clear—you can’t avoid the park altogether.  I hear people talking about life as if it is always supposed to be fun, always easy, always good, and something is wrong when anything bad happens.  Nonsense.  We live on an earth that has been cursed because man sinned.  When God curses something, he does a bang-up job of it.  To think we would still be living in something resembling Eden is ridiculous. 
            We are all dying from the moment we are born.  Some of us just manage to hang on longer than others.  Some of us catch diseases because they are out there due to sin and Satan.  Some of us become injured.  Some of us have disabilities.  Some of us are never able to lead a normal life.  It has nothing to do with God being mean, or not loving us, or not paying attention to us one way or the other, and everything to do with being alive.  Everyone receives bad news once in a while—it isn’t out of the ordinary.  Everyone experiences moments of fear and doubt.  We all go through trials.  But just because you are in the park, doesn’t mean you have to get on the roller coaster.
            We must have a steadfast faith no matter what happens to us.  “The Lord is faithful; He will establish you…” 2 Thes 3:3.  Our hearts can be “established by grace,” Heb 13:9.  But those things are nebulous, nothing we can really lay our hands on in our daily struggles.  Am I supposed to just think real hard about God and grace and somehow get stronger?  Yes, it will help, but God knows we are tethered to this life through tangible things and He gives us plenty of that sort of help as well, help we sometimes do not want to recognize because of the responsibility it places upon us to act.  Why, if God gives us help, I no longer have an excuse for my failure, do I?
            We must be willing to be guided to that steadfastness by faithful leaders, 2 Thes 3:3-5.  We must be willing to obey God’s law, James 1:22-24, and live a life of righteousness, Psa 112:6, before steadfastness makes an appearance.  We must become a part of God’s people and associate with them as much as possible, Heb 10:19-25.  We must study the lives of those who have gone before and imitate their steadfastness, laying aside sin if we hope to endure as they did, Heb 12:1-2.  Every one of those things will keep us off the roller coaster.
            Yeah, right, the world says--to change one’s life and become part of God’s people, the church—for some reason those are the very things they will laugh to scorn.  And we fall for what they preach--a Jesus who “loves me as I am” without demanding any change, and divides His body from His being, labeling it a manmade placeholder for the true kingdom to come.  “I can have a relationship with God without having a relationship with anyone else,” we say, and promptly climb aboard the roller coaster, Satan laughing gleefully at us from the control booth.  Guess what?  That’s who we are having a relationship with.
            Get off the roller coaster now before he has you riding up and down so fast, with your head whipping back and forth at every dip and turn, that you are unable to reach the grounding your faith needs.  You may still have moments of weakness and doubt, but those things will grow less and less if you make use of the help God has given you.  You can have a steadfast faith, even if it finds you, like David, hiding in a cave from your enemies.  My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast…For your steadfast love is great to the heavens; your faithfulness to the clouds. Psa 57:7,10
 
Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58.
 
Dene Ward
 

Part 4 in a four part series.
 
            When caring for someone who is seriously ill, the caregiver often fails to care for herself.  I remember vividly the day my husband had some sort of attack that doctors were calling a stroke.  Meanwhile, I had a seriously abscessed tooth and an appointment for a root canal while he lay in the hospital.  I thought about canceling the appointment regardless the pain I was in, but his doctor looked at me and said, "Go take care of yourself so you can take care of him."  And that, indeed, is the bottom line.
            First I will give you the tips my friends have shared with me, and then we will talk about something else that many good Christian women wrestle with.
            1.  Schedule some time for yourself every day.  It may be devotional time with Bible study and prayer.  It may be exercise.  It may be journaling your feelings as you go through this process.  Whatever it is, make the time to do it.
            2.  Focus on the positives each day.  Don't dwell on the difficulties you encounter, or what life used to be like, or what retirement was supposed to be like.  Cherish each day and focus on creating sweet, new memories with your spouse.  Include your children and grandchildren whenever possible.
            3.  Plan an enjoyable outdoor activity for each day—a walk, a drive, sitting on the porch or in the yard, visiting a friend.  There is something emotionally healing about fresh air.
            4.  Take life slow and easy.  Do nothing in a rush.  Model the behavior that you have requested of the patient, and stay calm.
            5.  Take care of yourself physically—eating balanced meals on a schedule, drinking enough liquid every day, etc.  The last thing you need is to have your own health go downhill in a rush because you "don't feel like eating," or "don't have the time to eat," etc.
            6.  Above all, do not hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, and neighbors.  As members of the Lord's body, people should not just be mouthing, "Let me know if there is anything I can do," but actively looking for things to do for you.  If home and car maintenance are not your bailiwick, ask for help.  We are meant to serve one another and in this way you will not only aid the women in serving you, but the men too.  Trying to do it all will simply undo many of the things we have talked about as you become overtired and completely frustrated.  Making a martyr out of yourself is not the answer to anyone's problems, least of all the patient's.  ASK FOR HELP and don't be ashamed to do so.
           
            And now to that other issue.  Many women have problems taking on the role of caregiver, not because they do not wish to care for their very ill husbands, but because it requires them to, in their minds, usurp his authority as head of the house.  It is difficult for a woman who has been taught to be in subjection, honoring her husband as the leader of the home, to take over responsibilities and decision-making, especially when his weakened ability to think logically may have him trying to refuse the medical care he needs.  The doctor will look to the wife to decide upon the appropriate care and medication, and ultimately, when it might be time to seek care outside the home.  Let me see if I can help those women a little bit.
            I imagine everyone knows Bathsheba, but only in that sad instance of 2 Sam 11 and David's adultery and murder.  What we don't realize is that she seems to have become his favorite wife, bearing him at least four sons.  When David finally lay on his deathbed and his son Adonijah took over the throne against the plans of God and his father David, Nathan went to Bathsheba to tell her about it.  He obviously expected her to step in for her fatally ill husband.  With only a little persuasion she went to David and told him what was happening.  Nathan came in at the appropriate time and vouched for what she had told him.  That took care of the matter, then and there.  But what if Bathsheba had refused?  Let's face it, she had the most to gain because it was her son Solomon whom God wanted on the throne.  It probably looked self-serving of her at the least.  But David was so ill, he didn't even know what was going on; he certainly couldn't do anything about it himself.  Bathsheba looked to her husband's interests when he was no longer physically able.  (1 Kings 1)
            And then we have a very different example.  Abigail's extremely rich husband, Nabal, was "churlish and evil."  When David's men came to ask for some food—during a festival time when there was more than enough and after David's men had protected his workers and herds—he sent them away empty-handed with harsh, insulting words.  David was so angry he was ready to kill Nabal and everyone in his household.  Abigail went behind her husband's back and did what he refused to do, taking a generous amount of food to David and his army and their families, and giving him some wise and godly advice.  (1 Sam 25)
            Wait a minute!  How is that a good example?  This is how:  the man was drunk as a skunk.  He had no idea the danger he had put himself and his family and servants in.  Abigail may not have done what he wanted but she saved his life when he was too incapacitated to see the danger. 
            When your husband is no longer able to make decisions about the important things in your lives, he expects you to take over and do what is best for him.  She does him good and not evil all the days of his life, the Proverb writer says of the worthy wife (31:12).  My husband has told me certain things he wants me to do should he become unable to do or think on his own.  He expects me to carry out his wishes.  How is that usurping his authority?
            Talk to your husband now and find out what he wants.  Then when—if—the time comes, be a faithful wife, even if it means doing what his damaged mind no longer wants to be done.  You are not being a bad wife.  You are not being un-submissive.  You are, in fact, being the wife you ought to be, and there is no shame in that at all.
            I hope you have found these articles helpful.  My mother's ordeal is over.  Both she and Daddy have gone on to their rewards.  But my friend's trial continues, as it does for so many.  Today, join with me in a special prayer for those men and women as they fight fear, frustration, and grief to care for their loved ones in the best way they can.
 
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  (Isa 41:10).
 
Dene Ward