A continuing series by guest writer Keith Ward.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen 2:24). 

Though we often use the word, "cleave," in our wedding ceremonies, elsewhere in our times it is mainly used of a meat cleaver that cuts things apart.  Certainly not what God intended by Moses' inspired comment!  The Hebrew word means to cling but few translations use that and also have the true meaning of "one flesh."  The word for cleave also means "adhere," in our vernacular, "stick like glue" or to "cling like Velcro."  Obviously God intends that the husband hold the woman fast to him in a special way that is unique, different from any other relationship.

Unquestionably, God intends "one flesh" to be a full-time occupation and it is the man's primary responsibility.   "What God joined together" stays together though geography separates the couple by hundreds of miles.  The importance of developing this relationship is emphasized by the use of the same word in the same way in the Shema, "Hear, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah" (Deut 6:4).  Though we understand that God is three persons, He is ONE.  In the same way, the husband is to leave all else to make himself one with his wife.  Perhaps God intended this relationship as it approaches its ideal to teach us about Him.  If so, treating it casually reflects our disdain for God.
 
Becoming one first requires leaving. Moses refers to "father and mother" as the ultimate that a man must put behind him. They were the first people he knew and the first and primary relationship in his life. Again, geography has little to do with leaving and especially in that society where generations of extended family lived together. Jacob was probably not the first "Mama's boy" and he certainly has not been the last. Not only must he leave, the husband must act so decisively that his wife is confident of her primacy. "The way Mama did it" and large amounts of time spent with his family with or without the wife indicate a failure to leave. He must never allow his parents to criticize his wife even if that requires strong measures. I often tell Dene that she is my "only."  My actions prove that is not just "sweet nothings."
 
Parents are not the only obstruction to leaving and cleaving. Many men I have worked with spent more time hunting and fishing with their buddies than they spent with their wives. Hobbies can be wonderful and useful to a man's character, but when they regularly occupy more time than she does, the wife is justified in feeling that she is nothing more than a cook and a sex object to him. Couples who both work outside the home and for whom household chores occupy much of their time together must make special effort to keep their relationship strong. The fact is that they both spend more time with and have more conversation with co-workers than they do with one another. Children become another separator. If care is not taken, time will pass and no glue will remain to adhere them to one another; occasional sex will become the only sense of "one flesh" that remains.
 
Oneness must be nurtured with care—make mutual decisions about everything: where to live, whether to take a promotion, where to worship, the standards and rules to apply to raising children, whether she works outside the home and the division of labor for the housework. What others think does not matter. Otherwise, you neither left nor are you cleaving. A husband demonstrates commitment to his wife by never even thinking about flirting with another woman and the wife should see this and have this confidence. He must never criticize her to others, and care must be taken to not fight in front of the children. Not only must he not criticize, he must not allow others to criticize her in his presence. I should not have to say that women never appreciate male humor and she is well aware that "many a truth is spoken in jest. Don't. Just Don't.
 
Timothy was likely in his forties when Paul admonished, "flee youthful passions" (2Tim2:22). If he was not speaking of "midlife crises" than application certainly exists. Men begin to realize their dreams conceived in youthful idealism will never happen and they go wild in pursuit of youthful fancies. Observation leads me to believe that well over half of all Corvettes are owned by men over 40 which is also true for Harley motorcycles. "Arm candy" for gray headed men has spawned a major industry in Viagra and Cialis. Leaving and cleaving and one flesh are left in Satan's dust as husbands think of little but Self.
 
Many married couples have lived together for years in various residences and are no more married than the shacked-up couple who sees no need for a legal piece of paper to validate their relationship. The unmarried couple has a point, a piece of paper does not make a couple married in the sense God intends—He must leave and cleave, she must submit, he must dwell with her according to knowledge, he must love her as Christ loved the church, he is to lead and he is to nourish and cherish her. Notice how heavily these foundations of marriage are weighted toward the husband—this is the responsibility of being head. "Head" is not a right. If theirs is not a marriage that emulates the relationship among the Godhood, then the failure is his.
 
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18).

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).
 
Keith Ward

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love. (1Cor 16:13-14)
 
             Please pardon the paraphrase in the title.  When we were discussing the above passage in our women's study, it just seemed I should come up with something else.  No woman wants to be told to "Act like a man."  Of course we understand that it is the "universal he" commonly used in writing, but it made for a light moment in a heavy class.  Paul is telling us all to "act like adults" instead of the big babies he speaks of in I Corinthians.  We found it helpful to make a list of how to do that based on this passage.

              1.  Be watchful.  What happens every time your teenage child leaves the house and you say, "Be careful?"  Right, the old eye roll, as if it were a ridiculous thing to say.  Immature minds cannot conceive of the dangers out there simply because they have no experience with them.  Young people think they are immortal and that we are silly to even worry.  Why, nothing is going to happen to them!  We aren't a bit better when we go out into the world with no care at all for the "roaring lion seeking whom he may devour."  He is out there—every minute of every day, and he has YOU in his sights.  If you want to act like an adult, then be watchful.

              2.  Stand firm in the faith.  Children lose their focus and become distracted.  When things become tedious, they get bored and decide they don't like it any more.  When difficulties arise, they quit.  Adults, on the other hand, keep on till the end, till the job is finished, till the goal is reached, till the aim has been accomplished.  God is counting on us to stick with it.  If we won't do it with the physical things of this life, why do we think we will when our spiritual lives face hardship?  "He who is faithful in little is faithful in much," Jesus said, calling the physical "little" and the spiritual "much."  Who receives the reward?  "He who overcomes," the one who is "faithful unto death," the one who acts like an adult.

              3.  Be strong.  When life is tough, an adult doesn't stop working, sit there and whine, "I can't take any more."  Most of us can do far more than we ever imagined.  If you have lived more than three decades, you have already discovered that you can do what you have to do.  Maybe you have never stopped and looked back on your life and the hard times you have come through and somehow managed to survive.  See?  You can be strong.  So be an adult.  Stop making excuses and, to borrow from an ad line, just get up and do it.

              4.  Do everything in love.  It took me awhile to figure out what this had to do with all these other things.  Then I remembered all those stories you hear about a frail little old lady lifting a car off of her husband when it fell off the jack.  How did she do it?  Adrenaline—that little boost that gives you almost superhuman power. 

             Love is spiritual adrenaline.  When you love someone, you can do anything for them.  You will ignore the aggravations your neighbors cause you, the irritations your family members sometimes bring; you will love them and overcome the temptation to strike back, speak back, or repay in kind.  You will even show "love" to other drivers! 

              Here is where the "acting like an adult" part comes in, because you will choose to love those people despite them and their foibles.  Love is a choice you will make every day, no matter how tired you are, how sick you are, how aggravated you are; no matter how unfair it is or how much that person deserves something besides your love; and even when you correct, you will do it because you love, not because you are angry or judgmental.  "Everything" is to be done in love.  That pretty much covers it all.

              And there you have in two short verses how Paul says we are to be mature instead of childish.  Which attitude will you choose?
 
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. (2Tim 4:7-8)
 
Dene Ward

We just bundled several services for a better price and more items.  In fact, the price we were quoted for four services was what we had before paid for two.  We asked every question we could think to ask.  Everything sounded good and we were thrilled.

              We just got the first bill.  I spent the next half hour on the phone trying to find out why this bill was 30% higher than I was told it would be.  Easy one, as it turns out.  The quote I got was the base price and did not include taxes, surcharges and all sorts of fees.   

             I was not happy. Yet, after I sat down and refigured everything, we were still getting four services for the price we had formerly paid for three.  We are still saving money, which was the reason for the whole switch.  Everything had become higher than our new retirement budget allowed and now, despite my disappointment, we are still under budget. 

              Don’t you just hate fine print?  I would much rather know what the total price is, not be surprised with it when the first bill arrives.

              Jesus did not believe in fine print either.  He laid it on the line. 
              “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.”
              “I came not to bring peace but a sword.”
              “Go and sell all you have and follow me.”
              “If any would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
              “You shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake.”
              “Some of you will be put to death.”
              “If you do not repent, you shall all likewise perish.”
              “Go thy way and sin no more.”

              Jesus told everyone what to expect.  He never sugar-coated it.  He never promised wealth and ease in this life.  What he did promise was a life of bliss and glory--in Eternity, not in Time.  And it isn’t a bait and switch.   

              He never said you won’t be persecuted.  In fact, he told his people to count on it.  He told them to rejoice when they were badly treated.  It puts us in good company.  “For so persecuted they the prophets before you.”

              He never said wealth would accompany our conversions.  In fact, he called wealth a danger to our souls. 

              He never said we would be healthy; that no trials of life would ever touch us.  He simply said, “I know how you feel.  I will not forsake you.”

              Jesus spelled it out.  We can know the final bill before it ever arrives.  If we are shocked because we have to suffer, then we just ignored what we did not want to hear.  He never tried to hide it.

              He also told us exactly what He will give us.  I am still getting a good deal on my little bundle, but it doesn’t compare to the deal I get with the Lord.  What the Lord offers is beyond our imaginations.  Even the words God uses for our frail intellect cannot express the glory that awaits a child of God.

              Go ahead and sign the contract.  You won’t have a nasty surprise in the mail.  And if you have signed already, remind yourself of the bundle that awaits you, especially if you are in the midst of trials now.  It is well worth the cost.
 
His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant: you have been faithful over a few things, I will set you over many things; enter you into the joy of your lord. Matthew 25:23
 
Dene Ward
 

Today's post is by guest writer Mark Roberts.
 
The Internet and all that goes with it used to live on a desktop or laptop computer. Now we carry it in the palm of our hands with a smart phone or tablet. Apps and browsers connect us to the entire world at the speed of light. Yet more and more people are beginning to think and re-think about how they are affected by the digital devices we carry (and love). Of course, the Bible doesn’t have an explicit “Thou shalt not have aniPhone” passage. Does that mean we get one and use it without thought? What is needed in situations where there is not a clear “thus saith the Lord” but we may have some reservations and concerns is wisdom. How can I get the good from digital devices without them causing me more problems than they are worth? That is a question seeking wisdom. Let’s go get some from the Bible’s books of wisdom, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes!

First, recognize part of our problem is that we are not intentional with our devices. Someone says “Have you got this app?” and we load it. “Are you on this social network?  Everyone is, it’s so cool!” and we join it. But everything we add to our phone (and use) puts additional pressure and time loads on our lives. If I’m not on Instagram and then I join where will the time come from that I surf and look at Instagram? I don’t get more minutes added to my day when I add an app. So where will the time to use that app come from? Did I intentionally choose “I will do less of this because I want to do this new app?” No. I just download it in on my device and end up with a life that is cramped
and compressed.  When I add an app, particularly a social media app, I need to ask “What will I give up to make room for this? What will be crowded out by doing this new thing?” More often than not, it could be my spiritual disciplines that suffer. That’s why I need to be intentional! “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Eccl3:1).

Secondly, part of the trouble with social media and the Internet is that it feeds the arrogance of “I matter.” A lot of social media is about me. It’s me showing my great vacation. It’s me talking about me and my life. And more and more, it seems, it’s me sharing my opinion on everything. This news story. This action by a celebrity. This political contest. Apparently the world is waiting to hear what I think about all this and more and I need to weigh in! I will set people straight - just wait till they read my Facebook post on today’s hot topic! Wait till they see the meme I post ridiculing those I disagree with!
 
This is madness. This is pride gone to seed and bearing a bitter harvest. Making something about me is not wise. Talking more about me isn’t interesting to anybody else and it’s not good for me. As for thinking that my opinion matters on the recent scandal or news story ... that’s just as foolish. How do we imagine that we know enough to comment because we saw something on the Internet? Do we think we really have all the facts? Do we really know the background and context of complicated situations and circumstances? Could we be led astray by fake news? Without any regard for these cautions I can dive right in and tell the world what is what, as if I really know (how arrogant) or that anyone cares what I think anyway (again, just arrogance). “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).

Thirdly, we need to realize that anything that is instant often isn’t wise. The Internet is immediate, isn’t it? I can share my thoughts, my photos, my opinions, my ideas now.  So when I’m angry I can just vent on the spot. When I’m upset I can tell the world how unhappy I am. When I am sure I know the problem (and its solution) I can spout my counsel to everyone. All of this can be done without much thought, much consideration, or much time spent carefully considering if what I’m saying needs to be said, is helpful, kind or loving. I just type it out and press SEND or POST. Bang. Instantly I’ve put itout there. There’s not much wisdom in that, is there?  “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

I don’t believe we have to smash our phones (or go back to old fashioned flip phones with no internet access). However, I do believe we should bring wisdom to every part of our lives, and that does include the device in your pocket! Be wise in your use of technology!

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (Proverbs 10:19)

Mark Roberts
 
Mark Roberts is the editor of Pressing On, a monthly e-magazine. He and his wife Dena have worked with the Westside church in Irving, Texas, for more than twenty-five years. Pressing On, for which I also write, can be had delivered straight to your computer for only $10.00 a year.  If you are interested, please contact me on the contact page on the left sidebar and I will connect you with Mark.  Dene Ward

I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later. I got my first really nasty comment on the blog a few weeks ago.  I know, despite the obviously made up name, that this was not a Christian in any sense of the word.  A Christian would never have used the language he did.  I answered him politely via the email address I had access to, apologizing for his misunderstanding, inviting him to visit again, and have not heard word one back.  I can't help but wonder how surprised he was when he heard from me, and even more when my reaction was probably the last thing expected.
 
             I understand that this type of thing is called “trolling.”  Someone who has nothing better to do with his life goes combing through blogs and websites and does his best to create a controversy with a quick jab, then sits back to see “what he hath wrought.”  In this case nothing.  One reply by a reader showed his comment to be, not only vulgar, but completely ridiculous.  I did not say what he said I did, and no one else took it that way either.  And you know what?  Solomon’s proverb is shown to be true yet again, “There is nothing new under the sun.”

              The church had trollers to deal with in the first century.  Acts 13,14,15,17, and 21, Rom 16, Gal 1 and 2, several chapters in Timothy, and most of John’s epistles show their sinister attempts to cause controversy and divide the church.  They even followed Paul around from place to place, “poisoning their minds against the brothers” Acts 14:2; “subverting souls” 15:24; “agitating and stirring up” 17:13; “creating obstacles contrary to the doctrine” Rom 16:17; and “distorting the gospel” Gal 1:7.

              And we still have trollers today—people who go from house to house spreading dissatisfaction, who stand in the parking lots campaigning against the leadership of the church, who even have websites devoted to dispensing discontent with spurious arguments and unsubstantiated accusations, usually about their own pet concerns.  And who are the victims?  “The naïve,” Romans 16 tells us, usually those who are young and easily swayed by a handsome fellow who seems far more “with it” than the stodgy old nay-sayers. 

              And how does that passage describe these trollers?  They are “puffed up with conceit,” gathering to themselves a rah-rah club to satisfy their egos.  They “understand nothing” while at the same time claiming to be more enlightened than anyone else.  They have an “unhealthy craving for controversy,” unhealthy for those whose hearts are deceived, unhealthy for the body of Christ, and certainly unhealthy for their own souls.

              Trolling—no, it’s not new, and neither is this:  God hates it every bit as much now as He did two thousand years ago.
 
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. Titus 3:9-11.
 
Dene Ward

Men consider whining to be strictly a female foible.  Gentlemen:  grumbling is just whining an octave lower.

Do everything without grumbling and arguing,so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world. (Phil 2:14-15)

Dene Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.
 
The title of this essay comes from the KJV of Titus 2:14. Peculiar, as used here, doesn’t mean weird or unusual, but special. Most modern translations render this “a people for His own possession” or something similar. Of course, if Christians are to be a people especially His, this would mean that we are different from most everyone else.

We often talk about what it means to be holy. We are commanded by God through Peter to be holy. (1 Pet. 1:15-16)  Being holy means being set apart.  Holy things are used only for the purposes for which they have been set apart. They aren’t used for everyday, common purposes.  Holy people, likewise, don’t just do whatever pops into their heads. We are set apart for God’s purposes.  I’m reminded of Romans 6.  In the first eleven verses we are reminded no less than six times that we have crucified the old man, buried him in baptism and we are now dead to sin.    Instead we are living new lives to God (mentioned four times). Then verses 12-13 hammer the point home:

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”

We are no longer to obey sin or to present ourselves to it as its instruments. Instead, we now are God’s and present ourselves to Him to do His will. This will, naturally, make us different from most and they won’t always like that:

1 Pet. 4:3-4 “For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you”

Peter says that the past is where our sinning belongs.  And we all have a past, don’t we?  But when we decide to follow Christ and live as one of His people, our old friends will be surprised when we no longer join them in revelries.  Not only surprised, but upset.  “Malign you” is translated in other versions as “speak evil of you”.  We will be accused of being holier-than-thou, of judging them because we don’t participate, of being hypocrites, and possibly worse.  A word of encouragement for those times, straight from the Lord:

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matt. 5:11-12)

The ancients didn’t have much good to say about Elijah or Jeremiah or Ezekiel, did they?  That’s some pretty good company to be in.

Of course, before our former running mates can berate us for being different, they have to notice that we are different. Remember verse 3 of 1 Pet. 4: “For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.” These are the things that are supposed to be left in the past.  Are they?

SENSUALITY & PASSIONS. I like the word sensuality better than the old word lasciviousness.  Sensuality is easier to understand.  Anything in which the senses are overindulged.  People given to sensuality are chasing whatever feels good and is pleasurable.  Not all these things are wrong in and of themselves, but these people put pleasure first in their lives and all else later.  You might recall Philippians 3:19 in which Paul refers to some whose “god is their belly”.  They’ve given themselves over to their appetites.  While slavery to all passions is in view, illicit sexuality is what is commonly thought of regarding “sensuality and passions”.  As a Christian, I’d never go out to the dance clubs and dance the grinding, sexual dances of today with whatever barely dressed women are also attending, but boy is it fun to watch Dancing With the Stars!  With barely any exaggeration I can say there is only one reason any heterosexual man watches that show: the professional dancing women in their peekaboo gowns. That is why I watched it religiously for years; seeing those women and wishing I was the “star” who got to handle them during the dance.  That is why all my male friends at work watched it.  I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t watch that show. That’s not my point.  I am saying we are to be a special people, a people for God’s own possession and, as such, we need to consider what we are watching and why we are watching it.

DRUNKENNESS. Surely this isn’t a problem in the Church, is it?  Three things about that: First, there are quite a few recovering addicts in the Church and we, as loving brothers willing to bear one another’s burdens, need to be aware, ready and willing to help them out in any way they need.  Second, it is probably a bigger problem in the Church than many are aware of or willing to admit.  So, yes, it needs to be explicitly stated that one of God’s own people should not be getting drunk.  And third, there are many Christians who believe that there is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine, or a beer, with a meal.  My point is not to argue that right now, but rather to ask a question.  Do your worldly friends know that you are the kind who only ever has one glass of wine with a meal or do they know that you are the kind who SAYS you only have one, but half the time you take a second glass followed by a third and sometimes even crack the second bottle?  Or finish off the six-pack?  Can your friends tell that you are different from them in your alcohol consumption?

ORGIES & DRINKING PARTIES. Now this is one we can cross off without any worry, right? None of us would ever participate in orgies or drinking parties, right?  No, but they sure are fun to watch on Game of Thrones aren’t they?  And that Spartacus remake is a lot of fun, too.  I’d never have an orgy, but I've got to make sure I re-up my subscriptions to HBO and Showtime!

LAWLESS IDOLATRIES. Now, we don’t have anyone bowing down to Baal, but idolatry is more than worshipping idols.  It is putting anything ahead of God or my service to Him.  I was thinking about the rich young ruler to whom Jesus said that he only lacked one thing: to sell his possessions and follow Jesus.  He went away sorrowful.  I started wondering about my reaction if Jesus ever came to me and said I had to give up college football permanently.  For you, maybe the challenge would come if He demanded you give up your fishing boat, or your golf clubs.  Whatever our sticking point might be, we can’t allow anything to get between us and God.  Otherwise, we are guilty of lawless idolatries.

Peter doesn’t mention all the ways we should be different from the world, of course.  Paul, in Eph. 4:29, tells us to “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths”.  Corrupt, or corrupting, talk comes in many varieties.  There is cursing and vulgarity, of course.  One thought on that: there are no such things as words that are bad in and of themselves.  The typical four letter words are generally considered bad because they are usually used for cursing and/or vulgar purposes, but I can express the exact same evil sentiments using other, more acceptable words.  Are my evil sentiments less sinful because I changed my vocabulary?  Can people tell we are different by the ideas we express in our speech?

Then there is taking the Lord’s Name in vain.  Surely that is corrupt speech, and it is common in the world.  Our Lord’s Name is now mostly used as a curse or expletive.  “God” is mostly used now in sentences like “Oh my God, that restaurant was really good!”  Can anyone tell that we never besmirch His Name and that we often wince when others do? Or do we talk like the world?

The final thing I’m going to bring up in reference to us being a people for God’s own possession is our life’s priorities. Have I ever denied myself something that was good and right to do because there were more urgent duties that God demanded? When I make career choices, do I consider what God would want me to do? Am I willing to part ways with worldly friends who are not good for my spiritual walk with God? Am I truly one of His people, or am I living in the world?

When thinking about these things, try to be as honest as possible with yourself.  One of the hardest things to do is to objectively evaluate yourself.  I once heard a preacher say that man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal.  Part of being a Christian is testing ourselves, to see if we are in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5).  Try to view yourself as an outsider looking at a stranger.  And then work to make the needed improvements.

We are to be God’s own people.

Can anyone tell?

Lucas Ward

It’s a classic kids’ comment, one Keith and I make to one another for laughs, but we never really had to deal with it when the boys were little.  Frankly, parents are their own worst enemies about things like this—your children know exactly what they can and cannot get away with long before they can even tell you in words.  If you don’t want to hear that particular whine, then do something about it.

              Yet still I thought of that question when I was working on Psalm 13.  “How long?” David asks, not once, but four times in the first two verses.  It was just as common then as it is now.  Habakkuk’s psalm begins, “O Lord, how long shall I cry for help and you will not hear?” Hab 1:2. The martyrs pictured around the throne of God cry out, “O Sovereign Lord...how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” Rev. 6:9,10.  “How long” is indeed a common complaint in the scriptures—I found it listed 52 times!

              And the point is this, these people are undergoing not just trials, but long, drawn out trials.  “Time flies when you’re having fun,” we often say, and that means it crawls when you aren’t.

              “It is not under the sharpest, but the longest trials that we are most in danger of fainting,” Andrew Fuller, in Spurgeon’s Treasury of David.  It is so true.  Just last week I nearly lost it over something small and inconsequential. 

              Being married to a deaf man can be extremely frustrating.  Three times in one hour Keith and I had a misunderstanding based totally on the fact that he could not hear what I was saying.  If he could have heard just three words, none of it would have even mattered, but because he couldn’t, it made the situation more and more complex, and more and more exasperating as it went on.  And the reason I couldn’t handle it that morning?  Not because it was three times in one hour, but because we have been dealing with it for forty years now.

              But who am I to complain?  The woman in Luke 8 had her issue of blood for 12 years.  The woman who had the spirit of infirmity in Luke 13 had been suffering for 18 years.  The man who lay at the pool of Bethesda (John 5) had done so for 38 years.  The blind beggar in John 9 had been that way from birth.  Sarah had waited for a child for decades.  The people of God waited for a Messiah for several thousand years!  These people had far more reason than I to ask God, “How long?”

              All of us are prone to ask, “Are we there yet?”  and sometimes the answer does not come in this lifetime.  That may be the most difficult thing to deal with.  Some are born into suffering and never get out of it.  Some, due to random accident or maybe even their own bad choices, suffer for the remaining years of their lives and never see a reason.  God has His plans and we are not always privy to them.    

              But one day we will receive the answer we want to hear: “How long? Now! We are there!”  The waiting will be over, no more suffering of any sort, even the petty little annoyances that no one else can understand, that drive you up a wall on a bad day, that fill you with guilt when your mind clears and you finally recognize just how blessed you truly are. 

              Some day we will arrive, and we won’t be going on any more long difficult journeys ever again.
 
It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8.                                          
 
Dene Ward

Do you remember that movie quote?  If you are even five years younger than I, you might not.  I first heard it as a young teenager sometime in April 1968, when a friend and I went to see Stanley Kubrick's new movie "2001:  A Space Odyssey."          

If you are not familiar with the movie or the short story by Arthur C. Clarke, it is the tale of two astronauts and a sentient computer, HAL 9000, who controls life support and computer systems on their space craft.  This simple explanation does not begin to cover the many elements of the plot, but suffice it to say, Hal begins to malfunction, deliberately causing the deaths of one of the astronauts as well as three others who are in a kind of hibernation.  It becomes a fight for survival between the last astronaut, Dr. Dave Bowman, and Hal.

Some of Hal's most remembered lines from the movie are:

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

"I'm sorry, Dave.  I'm afraid I can't do that."

"This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."

The voice of Hal was masterfully portrayed by Douglas Rain, an acclaimed Shakespearean actor.  He performed the part with a bland, flat, non-accent in a quiet voice that, by the end of the movie sent chills up your spine.  You could easily imagine that this machine could coldly but calmly execute you if it saw a logical need for it. 

Rain was born on March 13, 1928, and even though Shakespeare seemed his main interest, he is still best known as the voice of Hal, and even now I can still hear him voicing those lines.

But what I want us to think about today is this:  What lines will we be remembered for?

If you have listened to the same preacher for several years, you have probably picked up on a few mannerisms he may not even know he has.  When I was growing up, we had a preacher who ended sentences with the word "that."  Or he would start them with, "This is that…"  If things like this happen more than once or twice a sermon, it becomes distracting.  You find yourself counting the repetitive phrase instead of listening to the point, a very good reason to tape yourself and listen once in a while.  But not even That (pardon me) is what I am talking about.

How do you greet people?  Pleasantly, with a smile and a welcome in your voice, or something that, though you may not actually say it, still sounds like, "What do YOU want?"

How do you answer questions?  With irritation?  With snide sarcasm?  With boredom in your voice?

When you teach, do your students have a habit of writing down some of your statements because they want to remember them, or, given the choice, do they simply never show up again?

Do you say more helpful things or more hurtful things?

Do you talk about people with disrespectful name-calling?  Or do you remember that they are made in the image of God? 

In all of these things, "Just what do you think you're doing?"

It's been 51 years since I first heard Hal's eerie voice say that and I still remember some of the other things he said, too.  What words of yours will people remember?
 
For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.  Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?  Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (Jas 3:7-12)
 
Dene Ward

Girls raised in the South, or GRITS as one of my coffee mugs calls them, are some of the strongest people on this earth.  These women were nurtured on grits, greens, cornbread and chores from the time they could chew.  They work hard and long without complaint.  They know that getting dirty is healthy and sweat is not a terminal disease so they don’t avoid either one.  They can hoe row after row in the hot sun, shell beans till midnight, can, blanch, and preserve in a steamy kitchen for hours, cook for an army every night, and then clean it all up and start over the next morning. 

              They show up like magic when others are hurting and do whatever needs doing.  They find their way in any kitchen, heating up casseroles seasoned with love and tears, stirring pots of vegetables flavored with fatback, slicing tall layer cakes and mile high meringue pies, sinking their arms in a sink full of suds, and grabbing up a basket of laundry on their way out the door to be returned clean, mended, ironed, and folded before the house of mourning even realizes the clothes are missing. 

              They will take anyone’s children in their laps and dry up tears, listen to sad stories, and tell a few funny ones to bring back the smiles.  They bandage skinned knees and aren’t too prissy to change a needful baby’s diapers, no matter who it belongs to.  They will even offer a little discipline on little bottoms that think since Mama’s not around no one else cares—they care.  They can play tag, hide and seek, and red rover, make mudpies and sand castles, and then go home and finish whatever needs doing, no matter how late it gets.  They will stay up all night with anyone who needs it, then get up and go again as if nothing has happened.

              How do they do it?  The women I grew up watching had one magic ingredient—love—love that involved selflessness, strength, and purpose, and was borne from the heat of life.  Maybe living in the South made that come more naturally, just as the southern heat and humidity makes the sweat pour more profusely.  But then I am sure that some of my Northern friends could tell stories about their mamas, too.  Maybe it's not the south that makes these women like this—maybe it's the fact that they are real women, not divas or prima donnas.

              God applies the heat to us as well.  In Isa 48:10, God told His people,   Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. Affliction hurts.  It burns in a flash and roasts in constant pain and fear.  But eventually, the heat refines our souls and makes them pure and strong.

              What, you think it unfair that God would do this?  Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.  If He would do it to His own Son, who are we to get some sort of special dispensation?  In fact, the special dispensation is in the trials.  If God never put us through these things, we would be weaklings, always babes, never maturing to spirituality.  Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

              There is another result from all this fiery testing, perhaps the best result of all.  God speaks of a group of His people in Zech 13:9, saying, And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'They are my people'; and they will say, 'The LORD is my God.'"  I will go through whatever it takes to have Him declare me His child and answer my call, won’t you?

              Even now, as the long hot summer approaches, I am ready for it.  It reminds me that just as the southern heat strengthens my body, the spiritual heat can work wonders on my soul.  I know from watching both of my grandmothers, and my mother and aunts.  I know from working side by side with other women as we toil for our families and neighbors, and for the Lord, too, as we serve our brethren. 

              You need to become comfortable with the fire.  If you can’t stand the heat, the kitchen is the least of your worries.
 
Each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. 1 Corinthians 3:13
 
Dene Ward