When I was fifteen, the teenage Bible class met upstairs in the building where the church assembled.  The stairs were steep and narrow.  After you become accustomed to something, you become careless, and one Sunday morning after the bell rang and the halls below were filled with talking and laughter, I headed down those stairs and stepped just a little too far.  The front of my foot bent forward at an anatomically impossible angle, and my downward plunge didn’t stop till I hit the bottom.
            Do you know what I did?  Even though my foot started to swell like a balloon on a helium tank, even though the doctor shook his head and told me it was the worst sprain he had ever seen, even though that foot bothered me for six months and the ankle always twisted at the least bit of uneven ground for the next twenty years—despite the gravity of the injury and the pain, the first thing I did was push my skirt down.  When I landed at the bottom of the staircase, it was up around my waist.  That lasted approximately 0.2 seconds.  Whoosh!  It was down and back to my knees once again.  Then, and only then, did I moan.
            Modesty was second nature to me because I was taught it as a child.  I have a friend who wouldn’t give the ER doctor her shirt, despite the fact that she was having a heart attack at that moment.  That’s the way we were raised.  That’s the way most people raised their daughters.  I’m not so sure they do any longer.
            This is something that most women do not want to hear.  They do not want to believe what I am going to tell you about good men.  They want to think that this only applies to bad men, to immature men, to worldly men, but it doesn’t.  It applies to them all because they are men.
            God made men differently than he made women.  He put something in them that makes them think and behave differently.  It’s a hormone, ladies, just like the hormones you want to use to excuse your less than stellar behavior at certain times of life, only it’s a male hormone. 
            Testosterone is what makes a man a man.  It makes him aggressive and protective.  That is why he romances you.  That is why he wants to provide for you and take care of you and the children you have together.  Good things, right?  It also makes him more easily aroused sexually.  He is not a “dirty old man” when he feels that way.  He is, quite simply, a man.  If he has to put up with your moods, you must put up with the side effects of his hormones too.  And just like you expect him to be understanding, he has the right to expect the same from you—without ridicule and without complaint. 
            Far more important than that, God expects it of you.  You must not do anything that could cause a man to sin (stumble, offend), and that leads us to the clothing we wear.  Granted, we are talking about good men, men who practice self-control.  Some men can lust after a woman who is covered head to toe in a horse blanket.  You can’t do anything about them and God doesn’t hold you responsible for that.  But when I hear a Christian college girl say to a young man, “I can wear my bikini if I want to--deal with it!” I know someone needs an attitude adjustment.
            Look at Romans 14 and, instead of thinking about the idolatry problem, think about the clothes you wear. Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, "As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother, vv 10-13.  When we don’t care how our actions affect our brothers, we are despising them, Paul says, judging them, and we will have to answer to God for that.     
            Now look at verse 15, with just one slight word change:  For if your brother is grieved by what you [wear], you are no longer walking in love. By what you [wear], do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.  Are you willing to meet God having destroyed a brother by your insistence that you can do as you like and he should “Deal with it?”
            Every Man’s Battle is a book that every woman should read.  As I said, you won’t like it.  You won’t like thinking about the fact that the man you love is like that, but refusing to deal with the issue won’t change it.  Once you understand what your man is dealing with, you will be able to help him through it.
            And here is something else just as important:  Teach your girls about it!  Do you want to keep them safe in a world of predators?  Teach them how to avoid the traps.  How they act and what they wear can make a huge difference.  And listen to their fathers.  If he says, “She doesn’t leave the house in that outfit,” pay attention to him!  He knows better than you what could happen if she does.
            The fashion world knows exactly what it is doing when it creates the clothes women wear.  Unlike the women in the church who want to stick their heads in the sand, worldly women can tell you in an instant what a woman’s clothes do to a man. 
            This is a serious matter.  It’s about the destiny of souls, and God holding us responsible for them.
           
But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! Matthew 18:6-7
 
Dene Ward

I had never heard of it before.  It was certainly never mentioned in high school history classes, nor college either.  The irony is thick enough to slice for dinner.
            The American Civil War was in full deadly swing and the Union needed more able-bodied men.  Congress passed a federal conscription law—all males, married or not, between 20 and 35, and unmarried men 35 to 45 were subject to duty—except African-Americans.  The men were chosen by lottery, but $300 could buy you a stand-in.  The only problem?  $300 was the annual salary for the average worker.  Compare that to today's median wage and you see that only the wealthy could afford to buy their way out.
            The first draft took place July 11, 1863.  On July 13 the rioting began in New York City.  Men who supposedly opposed the slave trade now blamed it and, not just the slaves themselves, but anyone of the same race.  The rioters attacked, in this order, the recruiting stations, other government buildings, black citizens, their homes and businesses, white abolitionists, and white women married to black men.
            It took 4,000 Federal troops, just returned from the battle of Gettysburg, to restore order.  An estimated 1,200 were killed and 3,000 black residents left homeless.  The 1863 Draft Riots in New York City remain the deadliest in US history, worse than the 1992 Los Angeles riots, and the 1967 Detroit riots.
            Funny how your scruples and beliefs can change when your own welfare, like being sent into armed combat, is threatened.  And that remains one of the evidences for the truth of the gospel.  Why would every apostle still claim the truth of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection even under threat of painful death, and all but John suffer it instead of recanting?  Because it was true.  They believed because they saw.  Why would people become Christians knowing that the next week it could cost them their lives?  Because the testimony from those eyewitnesses was overwhelming.
            Why would Jesus' brothers, James and Jude who had not believed during his lifetime, suddenly believe that Jesus was the Son of God?  And why would the great persecutor, Saul, give up every valuable things in his life and a glorious future in Judaism to proclaim the gospel?  Because they saw the resurrected Jesus.  They knew it was all true.  And when you see the evidence firsthand, and truly believe, nothing else matters.
            Those rioters in 1863 were suddenly revealed to be not as pro-abolition as they had claimed to be when it cost them.  They gave it up and actually fought to harm the cause.
            What about us?  Already people are losing businesses because of their moral stand.  I truly believe that persecution of some kind is coming.  What will it reveal about us?
 
But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; ​but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls (Heb 10:32-39).
 
Dene Ward

It’s happened twice now.  I leave my campsite loaded down with shower gear and clean clothes, only to walk into what should be a sanctuary for women only and find a couple of little boys running around—not three year olds, mind you, but boys who are well into grade school, probably 8 or 9.
            A campground bathhouse is a bit like a locker room.  Yes, there are shower stalls with curtains, but often the dressing area in those stalls becomes nearly as wet as the tiles behind the shower itself.  Sometimes you have to open the curtain so you can step out and put on your jeans without dragging them through a puddle.  On our last trip a woman came marching out of the stall in her jeans and bra, flapping her arms and exclaiming how hot it was.  What would have happened if those two little boys had been in there then?
            Even the little boys cared.  They were showering when I came in to brush my teeth late one night.  Their mother had all their clothes piled in a far corner of the room. 
            “Come on out,” she called through the shower curtain.
            “But there’s a woman out there,” the older boy said.
            “I’m sure she’s seen it before,” she hollered back, and suddenly in the mirror I saw a naked child streaking behind me.  For his sake I kept my eyes averted from the embarrassed little boy crouching behind the sinks.  If it bothers the boys, surely that’s the time to put them in the men’s bathhouse, isn’t it?
            Then I got an even bigger shock.  “I’ll be right back,” the mom told the boys.  “I have to take this to your dad.”
            Dad?  Why didn’t Dad have them in the men’s bathhouse to begin with?  No, dad was absent, as so many are these days, watching TV in the trailer by the satellite dish he had hauled along on a two night camping trip on top of a beautiful mountain.  I wonder if he ever noticed the scenery, much less his sons. 
            My boys were blessed to have a father who took his role seriously.  He didn’t leave everything to me until they got “bigger.”  He changed diapers.  He rolled around on the floor with them.  He played every ball game in season, even when they weren’t very good at it yet.  He read the Bible to them every morning while they ate breakfast, and a Bible story every night before bed, even before they were able to understand what he was reading.  Nearly every night he was the one who gave them their baths so I had time to clean up the supper dishes.  And yes, he took them into the men’s bathhouse whenever we camped, which began when Nathan was only four.
            For awhile Keith worked nights.  He would not have seen the boys except right before school and on weekends, but he got up early every morning, despite his late hours, to walk them to the bus stop.  He left them notes in the middle of the table every day, pieces of advice, Bible verses to memorize before the weekend, and always an “I love you.”  They usually ran straight for the table when the bus dropped them off, and I still have a notebook with those little yellow notes taped to the pages.  It wasn’t long before he changed jobs, taking one at far less salary because being with his boys was more important than money.
            Fathers, you have a more important calling than the one that pays your bills.  Boys need to know what it takes to be a man of God.  Girls need to see the kind of man they should look for one day.  If all you do is let mama handle things till they get a little bigger, you are missing the most precious years of their lives.  You still won’t have a relationship with your child, because you didn’t build one when the building came naturally.  They won’t trust you to really care, and no one will much blame them.
 
And you fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, Ephesians 6:4.
 
Dene Ward

My readers under 40 have probably never heard of Jack LaLanne.  I know of him mainly from my childhood.  His story is the stereotypical 98 pound weakling, bullied most of his childhood, who almost overnight becomes the muscle man that many men dream of being.  Even Arnold Schwarzenegger said of him, "This guy is a machine, a real machine."  That might have been after 54 year old LaLanne beat 21 year old Schwarzenegger in a push-up and chin-up contest.
            LaLanne opened the first fitness club in Oakland, California, long before such things were popular.  He had a television exercise show for 34 years.  He became a motivational speaker on exercise and nutrition and was called "the Godfather of Fitness."  Over the years he performed various feats of strength that almost remind you of the Samson stories.  One in particular caught my eye.
            Most know of Alcatraz, the prison on an island in San Francisco Bay.  The prison was long considered unescapable due to the cold water and strong currents in the bay.  But on July 9, 1955, Jack LaLanne made the swim.  [I had to blow up a photo of a newspaper clipping to see the date because all I could find in various texts was the month and year.]  But this wasn't the only time Jack LaLanne made the swim, just the first.  He seemed to need to prove himself again and again.  At the age of 60 he again swam from Alcatraz to Fisherman's Wharf, handcuffed, shackled, and pulling a 1000 lb boat, a distance of 1.23 miles.
            How did he accomplish these things?  He made a religion of it.  He woke at 4:00 AM every morning for two hours of exercise.  He limited himself to two meals a day which included 10 raw vegetables, 8 egg whites, fruit and brown rice.  Period.  He said of his diet, "If it tastes good, spit it out."
            Not only did he treat his regimen like a religion, he spoke of it like one.
            "Billy Graham is for the hereafter.  I'm for the here and now."
            "Jesus…he was out there helping people, right?  Why did he perform those miracles?  To call attention to his profession.  Why do I do these incredible feats?  To call attention to my profession."
            Though his theology sounds a bit skewed and comparing himself to Jesus and his feats with miracles smacks of enormous hubris, he did have a point when he sad, "It's not what you do some of the time that counts.  It's what you do all the time that counts."
            Many of us tend to compartmentalize our Christianity.  That can easily lead to the Sunday morning Christian mentality, acting one way in the meetinghouse and another during the week.  But it also limits what the Bible calls godly service.  I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship (Rom 12:1).  Do I only present my body to God when it sits on a pew?  Or do I do it every day as I follow the principles of the New Testament in my home, in my workplace, and in my neighborhood?  I am supposed to be a Christian every minute of every day.  In this one area, at least, LaLanne was absolutely correct:  you are what you do all the time!
            And then we have the concept of actually working at Christianity "like a religion,"  regimenting my time so I can spend it serving, studying, praying, giving myself the spiritual nutrition and exercise to grow into a stronger and better servant of God.  What if we made sure we spent no less than 2 hours a day on those things?  What did the Hebrew writer say was the problem with those overgrown baby Christians?  For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil (Heb 5:12-14).  Am I "trained by constant practice", or just a couple hours a week?  I can tell you that I never had a successful piano student who would not practice, or who only practiced a few minutes right before his lesson!
            Jack LaLanne once said, "I can never die.  That would ruin my image."  Well, he did die on January 23, 2011.  He had pneumonia.  He had been sick a week, but refused to see a doctor.  He also said, "The most important thing in your life is your health and your body."  He was wrong about that one, too.  That man needed the Great Physician more than he knew. 
            Yes, take care of yourself.  A Christian who has the traits of self-control and diligence can live a longer and healthier life in service to his God on the average, but if you leave God out of the mix, you are just delaying an existence that is anything but pleasant.
 
If you put the brethren in mind of these things, you shall be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished in the words of the faith, and of the good doctrine which you have followed until now: but refuse profane and old wives' fables. And exercise yourself unto godliness: for bodily exercise is profitable for a little; but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life which now is, and of that which is to come (1Tim 4:6-8).
 
Dene Ward
Quotes taken from the LA Times and QuoteFancy

Wives of probation officers learn to live with a lot of things, including fear.  As certified law enforcement officers their husbands regularly go into neighborhoods that well-armed policemen will not enter without back-up.  Yet they do it on a regular basis to keep track of their caseload, making sure they are where they are supposed to be and not out getting into trouble again.  Keeping the community safe by supervising convicted felons is their job.  They knock on doors every day, never knowing who might answer, or what condition they might be in (drunk, high, angry) and what they might be carrying with them.  Yes, it’s illegal for them to have a weapon, but they broke the law already, remember?  One time Keith came upon one of his people parked in front of a convenience store with a shotgun in the front seat next to him.

One of the other rules for the probationer is never to go near their supervising officer’s residence.  Most of them have no idea where their officers live anyway, and the office is not allowed to pass out that information, but when you live in a tiny rural county where practically everyone is related to or otherwise knows everyone else, they don’t even need a phone book to find their officers.  Twice I have had one of those people knock on the door, once when Keith had already left for work.  That is why I always lock my doors when I come inside, and why, since we had a fence put up, we lock the gate 24/7.

It’s a habit now.  I come in the door and shut it with a twist of the wrist and it’s locked.  I don’t even know I’ve done it. In fact, one time I walked outside to do something and locked myself out without realizing it. 

On the weekends, I regularly lock Keith out too.  He will be chopping wood or mowing the yard and I come back in from taking him a jug of water and—flip—it’s locked.  I don’t know until I hear him knocking at the door.  He never gets angry; he always says, “Good job,” and goes about his business.  Now, if I didn’t respond to his knock, that might be a different story.

Acts 6:7 tells us that many of the priests were “obedient to the faith.”  That word “obedient” is the same Greek word used in Acts 12:13.  Peter had been miraculously released from prison and ran to Mary’s house, where the church had met to pray.  He knocked at the door and Rhoda came to “answer”—that’s the word “obedient.”  Just as a knock on the door requires a response, the gospel knocking on our hearts requires one too.

First, let me praise poor little Rhoda.  This was a time of danger for the church.  Two had been arrested and one of those already killed.  The use of the word “maid[en]” or “damsel” tells me she was unmarried and therefore quite young.  Yet she is the one who was sent to answer the door.  What if it had been Herod’s soldiers?  Then she finds Peter standing there and is so excited she forgets to let him in.  It takes others coming to respond to the continued knocking for Peter to actually get into the house.

A lot of charlatans who claim to be preachers of the faith will tell you that all you have to do is look out the door and recognize the Lord and you will be saved.  Faith is merely mental assent, with perhaps a lot of excitement thrown in, too much to actually get the door opened, to prove its sincerity, but this word requires some action.  Those priests in Acts 6 were “obedient” to the faith.  They responded completely and fully to whatever was asked of them.  “Mental assent” is not an appropriate response to the gospel, any more than me looking out the diamond-shaped pane of glass at my locked-out husband and waving, “Hi!”

How many professional athletes have you seen wearing crosses and “thanking their Lord” before going out to live exactly the way they want to instead of the way He wants them to?  Too many.  But what about those of us who do not live with such public scrutiny?  How many times do we tell the Lord, even after having “obeyed the gospel” as if it were a one-and-done deal, I’m happy to serve as long as it doesn’t cost too much money or take too much of my precious time, as long as everyone does things my way (which is the only smart way), or calls me every day to check on me and take care of my every whim?

The Lord is knocking on the door and He wants far more than your words.  He wants all of you, your heart and your life, your total submission to His way of doing things.  Don’t just nod at Him through the peephole.  Either answer the door and let Him in, or allow Him to go on to someone who really wants Him there.

As many as I love, I reprove and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. He who overcomes, I will give to him to sit down with me in my throne, as I also overcame, and sat down with my Father in his throne. Revelation 3:19-21

Dene Ward

Many years ago, I had to travel a thousand miles three different times to have sight-saving surgeries.  The hospital in that city had an arrangement with a nearby hotel that gave discounts to patients who had to stay a week or more.  On our first week-long stay, we found the accommodations nice and the free buffet breakfast above the usual in quality.  The waitress who served us was friendly and attentive.  We talked with her a few minutes nearly every time she stopped by with coffee refills, extra napkins, and other things we needed during the meal.
            The second surgery came six months after the first.  Once again we were there for a week, and surgery was on the agenda.  Our first morning, before we could say anything, the waitress popped out with, "I remember you.  You treated me like a person and talked to me.  Everyone else treats me like furniture."  We were flabbergasted; we really hadn't done anything special.  When we left the hotel restaurant, I left my purse sitting on the floor next to our table.  Back in the room, we discovered what I had done, and called the front desk.  "The waitress is on her way up to your room," we were told.  "She found your purse and asked for your room number."  We had not given her our name, but had mentioned the eye surgery, so that was how she described us and found us.  We opened our door, and sure enough, there she came walking down the hall.  We were not trying to get something out of being nice to someone, but it certainly paid off—all of our travel money was in that purse!
            A few years ago, Keith had to have a fairly serious and complex surgery.  He was in the hospital 5 nights and the surgeon had made arrangements for a private room so I could stay with him as a "medical necessity" to help him communicate due to his profound deafness.  When you don't feel well, the concentration required for lip-reading becomes next to impossible, and one cannot always wear over the ear hearing aids (the strongest ones) while lying in bed due to feedback from the pillow behind your head.  We never thought anything about how we were acting during those five nights and six days.  But on the fourth day, one of the nurses came in to say good-bye.  She would be off the next two days and we would be gone before she got back to work.  "I just want to know where you go to church," she said.  "You two are different."  Once again we were surprised.  Different?  How?  Because we treated the nurses like people, asked about them and their families, and actually said please and thank you.  "You would be surprised," we were told, "how other patients treat us--like personal slaves."
            We still are not sure exactly what we did in those two occasions except this maybe:  we are quick to spout, "Love your neighbor," but sometimes we don't know how to apply the rest of it, "Like yourself."  It's this—you treat them "as" yourself, and what are you?  A person, not a slave, not a robot, not an inconvenience or aggravation—a person, one who has feelings, rights, opinions, families, and the same sorts of problems you do, someone who deserves respect and consideration.  You train yourself to do that in every situation and then when circumstances are difficult, the kindness that has become second nature to you still comes out rather than a quick temper, irritation, ugly comments or name-calling.  You understand that you are part of God's plan to reach the lost and that means that even in a short moment of contact, you show them the love and grace and mercy that God has shown you. 
            I suspect most of you are doing this already. I learned it from my Daddy, who always made a point to know people's names and to ask about them and their lives away from whatever milieu he had found them in.  As this world becomes uglier and people are afraid to even look one another in the eye and smile, remember the Lord's oft repeated command.  Love your neighbor as yourself—as a human being—because that's what you were when someone found you.  You never know what might make a difference in a person's life, or in their hope of salvation.
 
If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it (Jas 2:8-10).
 
Dene Ward

Everyone who cooks on a budget knows what filler is.  If you called things by the relative amount of their ingredients, I served my family dumplings and chicken, spaghetti with sauce and meat, and potato and beef stew.  At times it should probably have been called loaf meat instead of meat loaf.  Even now the two of us split a chicken breast between us or share one pork chop, then load the plate with “filler.”  Filler is the cheap stuff, the stuff that costs a minuscule amount of the protein on the plate, but fills up the eater twice as fast—potatoes, rice, noodles, bread. 
            Sometimes we treat certain verses in the Bible as filler.  We skim the genealogies and miss relationships and facts that would open up the ‘more interesting” parts.  We treat the addresses and farewells in the epistles the same way.
            All who are with me send greetings to you. Greet those who love us in the faith. Grace be with you all, Titus 3:15. 
            I was working on some class material on faith when I read that passage and nearly skipped over it as useless.  Then I found an alternate translation, one of those I seldom look at because they are just a bit too loose, but it opened my mind to the possibilities in this verse.  Greetings to you from everyone here. Greet all of our friends who share in our faith. I pray that the Lord will be kind to all of you! (Contemporary English Version)
            Look at that middle sentence:  Greet all of our friends who share in our faith.  Now read the other one again. Greet those who love us in the faith.
            How many of your friends and neighbors will tell you that you can be a Christian without participating in what they sneeringly call “organized religion?”  What they mean by that is they can have faith in God without having to worry about being members of a church, answering to the ordained authority in that church, or being obligated to serve anyone else in that church.  Yet Paul told Titus that part of being in the faith was recognizing (greeting) the others who share that faith with you, those who, because of that shared faith, love you. 
            Those friends will tell you, “Of course I love people,” but John said, Let us not love in word or in talk, but in deed and in truth 1 John 3:18.  You can’t sit at home in your easy chair and love anyone.
            The New Testament tells us in passage after passage that our lives are judged by how we treat “one another.”  Love one another, we are told.  Be at peace with one another.  Welcome one another.  Instruct one another.  Wait for one another.  Care for one another.  Comfort one another.  Agree with one another.  Serve one another.  Bear one another’s burdens. Be kind to one another and forgive one another.  Bear with one another.  Submit to one another.  Encourage one another.  Show hospitality to one another.  Confess your faults to one another.  Consider one another.  Exhort one another.  Do good to one another.  I defy anyone to do these things outside the fellowship of a group of people.
            And I pity anyone who has not experienced the joy of bumping into a brother or sister as you run your daily errands, who has not felt instant camaraderie with people you have never met before when you walk into a meetinghouse in an unfamiliar city, the absolute sense of haven and relief that spreads through you simply because you and someone else are bound by the grace of God.  As Paul seems to imply in that “filler” of a verse, it cannot help but affect your faith.
 
…and the Lord added to the church daily such as were being saved, Acts 2:47.
 
Dene Ward

I never had much trouble sightreading piano music.  You read the note, you find it on the piano, and you play it.  I wasn’t perfect by any means—trying to read music and translate that to a mental keyboard in your mind and then have your hands immediately go to the correct place on the real keyboard in just a matter of milliseconds takes a quick mind and perfect eyesight, neither of which I had even then.  But for the most part I was a good music reader and got the job done, even if I did have to slow the tempo down so I could play in the correct rhythm too. 
            Then I got to college theory classes and was expected to sightsing!  Now that is a completely different issue.  Looking at a page of notes and singing them seemed like an impossible task to me.  It takes a natural ear.  If you don’t have one, you have to train it.  I had to put mine through boot camp the entire first year of theory classes.  Eventually I learned to do it—I could look at a piece of music and sing the notes, without accompaniment of any kind, not even chords to keep you in the right key.  I wasn’t any more perfect at it than I was at the piano, probably less, but I was musician enough to pass my tests, classes, and juries, and to make two college choruses and a women’s sextet.
            Most of the hymns in our books are written in standard major keys, with standard four part harmony.  They are nothing like the music I had to sightsing in college, so I can usually sightsing them without too much trouble.  It’s sort of like being asked to boil an egg when you have been making soufflés for four years--simple.  Most of the congregation, though, do not have the advantage of being trained musicians and they just sing it the way they first heard it, which in many cases was incorrect. That means that very often I stick out like a sore thumb (or a sour note).
            I have tried to sing what everyone else is singing just so I won’t, but I have trained myself so diligently that I can’t.  I’m a musician—I see the note, I sing what I see.  We were singing “When We All Get to Heaven,” the other day, and every time (at least three) I sang it right I created a clash that was hard to go unnoticed.  “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms” creates at least five such clashes.  With “Amazing Grace” the list is nearly as long as the song itself.
            But you know what?  While I don’t want to cause those clashes, my training makes it nearly impossible to sing the songs wrong, and my desire to please God by obeying His commands to sing makes it completely impossible for me to stop singing.
            Isn’t that the way life is supposed to be for a Christian?  You really don’t want to clash with your neighbors.  You really want to “live peaceably with all men.”  But you should have trained yourself so well that you find it nearly impossible to sin.  Sticking out like a sore thumb shouldn’t matter to you.  Yes, it may be difficult, but no one ever promised us “easy.”  We are supposed to be different from unbelievers.  We are supposed to “conform to the image of His Son,” not to the world. It should be a habit by now.
            Sometimes when I sing things correctly, but differently, I get funny looks.  Once, a song leader even went to the microphone when that section came up on the next verse so he could sing the (wrong) note loud and clear.  I guess he heard my different note on the first verse and it bugged him. 
            This coming Sunday morning, if you hear someone sing a different note than you are singing, maybe you should check the notes you are singing.  Then do something much more important.  Use it as a reminder to check your life.  Could anyone tell you apart from your neighbors, or do you blend right in?  Out there in the world, you should be sightsinging a completely different tune.
 
But the wisdom from above is first pure—then peaceable…James 3:17.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed…Rom 12:2.
 
Dene Ward

Living in the country has meant adapting.  In many ways it has been good for me.  The city girl found out she could learn and change, even though change is a thing I have never liked.  I love routine.  Now, after 43 years, it isn’t change, it’s just a new routine, and that helps when I have had many more changes in the past few years, and see more coming.
            One of the things I learned quickly was to make sure I had everything I needed to get by for the week.  A sixty to eighty mile round trip, depending upon which side of town what I need is on and how many other places I have to stop as well, doesn’t happen more than once a week even if you did forget the bread or run out of milk.  You learn to do without. You don’t change your mind about the menu unless you already have on hand the things the preferred dish needs.  When an unexpected guest arrives and you want to offer a meal, you put another potato in the pot, double the biscuit recipe, and get out another package of frozen garden corn, and if you didn’t plan dessert that night, you put the home-canned jellies and jams on the table to go with the biscuits.  So far, no one has complained.
            I have learned to be organized.  I do everything in one visit, and usually that coincides with a doctor appointment or a women’s Bible class.  I keep track of everything I run out of, or run low on, as the week progresses, and visit stores in the order that uses the least gas.  I keep staples well stocked.
            I have also learned that I don’t have to have everything I think I do.  The only store close to us is a tire store, about three miles down the country highway.  The man has been in business for 40 years.  Our children went to school with his, and somehow he has made a good living selling tires in the smallest county in Florida just outside a village that might have a population of 100 if you count the dogs.   But as far as shopping, it doesn’t do much for me.  You can’t try tires on, they don’t do much for the home décor, and window shopping is the pits.  So I don’t “shop.”
            Sometimes we become slaves to our culture.  We think we must wear certain things, go certain places and do things in a certain way because everyone else does.  We shop and buy because everyone does, not because we need it.  We go see the movies that “everyone” has seen.  We buy a cell phone because “everyone” has one nowadays—“it’s a necessity.”  We run down to the store every time we run out of something instead of carefully making a list of what we need and taking care of it in one, or at most two trips a week, wasting precious time and costing ourselves more money than we realize.  Everyone does, we say.  Maybe we should stop and think about that.
            Why?  First, because it never crosses our minds to be different than everyone.  Is it sinful?  Maybe not, but then why does something have to be sinful before I am willing to look at it and decide whether it is best for me and my situation?  Why am I so afraid to be different?  A Christian should have a mindset that is always looking at things in different ways than the rest of the world.  If I decide this is the best way to live (and not sinful), then fine, but I should, at the least, think about it.  Christians who always act without thinking will eventually do something wrong some time in the future. 
            Second, we are to be good stewards of everything God gives us, including time and money.  If we saved a little time, could we use it in service to God?  Could we offer help to someone in distress?  Would we have more time for visiting the sick and studying with neighbors?  If we saved those few dollars every week, could we give more to the Lord?  Could we help someone in need more often?  Could we be the ones who take a bag of groceries to a family in distress because that day we could buy for them instead of running to the store for yet something else we forgot?
            But we aren’t really talking about running down to the store here.  We’re talking about attitude and priorities—about doing the best we can for our Master in more than a haphazard way.  Paul says we are to “purpose,” or plan, our giving.  I have no doubt that doing so ensures a larger donation than merely waiting till the last minute to see what’s left in the bank or the wallet.  The same thing will be true if we plan our prayer time, study time, and service time.  Instead of running out of time for any of it, we will find ourselves making a habit of the things God expects of us.
            In a parable Jesus praised the steward who was “a faithful and wise manager,” who was always working, always serving, and able to get the appropriate things done at the appropriate time (Luke 12:42).  Those servants, he goes on to say, are always ready for the master’s return.  Are we ready, serving and working as many hours a day as possible as faithful stewards, or are we so disorganized that judgment day will find us at the checkout for the fifth time in a week, just to pick up a forgotten jug of milk?
 
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1Pe 4:10-11)
 
Dene Ward

This is one extremely practical book, and is meant to be that way as evidenced by its subtitle:  40 Conversations to Help Them Build a Lasting Faith.  When I read the foreword, by J. Warner Wallace, whose own Cold Case Christianity has become a popular staple in the Apologetics world, I was excited.  Here was a book we could use not only in family Bible studies, but perhaps in Bible classes or special Teen Weekends, as many call them these days.  In fact, some of my brethren need to read that foreword themselves as they seem to miss some vital points in their work with the young people of our congregations.  Mr. Wallace says the same and points to this book as the solution.
            The biggest problem with this book is that the author's theology often gets in the way of her advice.  You don't teach teenagers to be careful students of exactly what the Bible says, then turn around and twist passages like Mark 9:1 and say they don't really mean what they say because that makes premillennialism untrue.  And although she professes to believe in freewill, her Calvinism also causes her problems.  Some of her arguments are just as specious as the ones she is trying to counter from atheists.
            On the other hand, this can be used carefully as a guide in talking to your children about the things they will hear at school, on media, and from friends.  Several chapters contain a wealth of information that will save you a lot of time gathering for yourself.  My husband will in fact use some of it in the high school class he is teaching, but he has a great deal of knowledge gathered over decades and can find his way through the potholes.  We also have a son who has a degree in Apologetics to bounce some of these things off of.  If you use this book, be sure you use some of the same kind of resources to avoid problems.
            Keeping Your Kids on God's Side is published by Harvest House Publishers.
 
Dene Ward