When I was a child we played several board games—Easy Money, Sorry, and Life usually, about the only things we had besides Checkers and Scrabble, which was our parents' game.  Although my boys were more into playing outdoors, climbing trees, jumping off limbs on a Tarzan swing, and shooting the bad guys, whether robbers, Indians, or aliens, they enjoyed a board game occasionally, too.
            So one year as I was trying to teach them the life of David, it suddenly occurred to me that learning that life might be a lot easier if it were a board game.  So after a couple different versions were tried out, the Life of David game came into existence.  I even used it in Bible classes.
           This past spring, we kept our two grandsons for two full weeks.  We have Bible lessons every night when they come to visit and as I was wondering what to teach this time around, I suddenly remembered that old David game.  I wondered if, at 5 and 8, it might be a little too soon, but they sure showed me!
The first night I brought out the game and showed it to them.  "Your daddy and your uncle used to play this," I told them, and instantly they wanted to also.  "First, you have to learn about David, or you will never be able to play the game and win."  Their only question was, "When can we start?"
             I had already gone through 2 Samuel and the first three chapters of 1 Kings and divided it into 7 lessons, with 6 memory verses.  I had drawn lesson sheets—questions with multiple choice "picture" answers, especially since Judah was just finishing up Pre-K this year—not that I needed to worry.  He can read as well as I could in first grade!  We did a lesson every night for a week, reviewing the previous lessons before starting a new one.  After we did the seventh lesson, we spent time reviewing the memory verses cards.  Finally, on the 8th night we were ready to play the game.
            They loved it.  We played it several times over the second week, letting that time be the "Bible lesson" for the day as they cemented facts and verses into their little heads.  When it was time to go home, they wanted to take the game with them.  That's how much they liked it, and I dare anyone reading this to quote those six memory verses and answer all of the 2 dozen questions involved in the game.
            So how do you make your own?  Well, I have no copyright on it, so let me tell you.  If you can draw a straight line with a ruler and write legibly, you can do it, too.  But your first task is to learn the life of David yourself.  You will never be able to make an accurate game otherwise...
          …So now that it's maybe a week or so later, and you know the life of David like the back of your hand, here is what you need:  a standard sized piece of poster board, a black and several colored Sharpies, a straightedge, some card stock, and a pair of scissors. 

1.  First, take your poster board and draw a large square at what you have decided will be your beginning point, usually the bottom left hand corner, preferably in a bright color, and write "BETHLEHEM" on it.  Since David was born there, that is your "START."

2.  Using your black Sharpie and the straightedge, begin drawing a switchback track around the poster board.  The track should be about an inch wide.

3.  Each "square" of the track should be about 1 ½ inches along the track.  As you mark them off, write the various events of David's life and a "consequence" in the squares.  For example:  Kill Goliath.  Go ahead three spaces.  It's okay to have a blank spot here and there.  The boys called them "Safety Zones" because nothing bad can happen to you there.

4.  Every half a dozen squares should be a "?" in a contrasting color.  Obviously, if you land on that, you have to choose a question from the pile and answer it. (More about that in #9.)  In my game, a correct answer lets you move ahead one space and an incorrect answer sends you back one.  You can make it even more consequential if you want to.

5.  Every five or six question marks should be an MV question (initials written down in the corner of the square), which means you have to do a memory verse from the memory verse pile.  More about that in #10, but the same consequences of correct or incorrect follow.

6.  Something a bit trickier here:  David spent a lot of time running from Saul, particularly in Ramah and Gath, and he had a lot of trouble with the people of Ziph who kept telling Saul where to find him.  So as I reached those particular portions of David's life, the board looked something like this:  R ? A ? M ? A ? H.  I did the same with Gath and Ziph.  Do you see?  It was a dangerous time, so there are more questions!  I was also not afraid to put things like "Lose one turn" in those sections. 

7.  On the top and final line of the game, was a brief detour into the wilderness.  That's where David once again had to flee when Absalom rebelled.  So if you landed on the square that led to the wilderness, you had to take that detour.  If your number safely sent you past it, you were lucky.

8.  The final square of the game was a large blue "HOME."  We talked about all of God's people trying to make it back "home" at the end of their lives by doing God's will and accomplishing his purpose for them.  The boys got the point instantly.

9.  Finally, go back and cut out smaller cards, about the size of those Chance Monopoly cards, and write your questions from the Life of David.  Where was David born, Who was David's father, How many brothers did David have, What job did David do for his father, and so on, all the way through his life, ending with, Which son rebelled, Which son tried to take over the kingdom while David was dying, and Which son became king after David died?

10.  Now about those memory verse cards.  When I taught the boys the six memory verses I had chosen—not all from Samuel, by the way, but all matching the evening's lesson in some way—I used the the Stick Man method previously discussed.  By the time playing the game actually came around, those cards had been significantly reduced to one or two drawn images on much smaller cards that by then instantly evoked the verse in question.  By the time Mommy and Daddy came home, those boys shocked them by what they had learned and what they could do, in spite of the fact that Daddy himself had done it as a little boy.

So, are you wondering how to teach your children about the Bible in a way that is fun, but very educational?  Make your own Life of David game—or Life of Any Bible Character game for that matter.  You might learn a little bit yourself.
 
For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep and was laid with his fathers…(Acts 13:36)
 

I think I saw it the first time during the Olympics coverage and it rankled immediately.
            "Fearless kids aren't born; they're made," says the Universal Studios ad.  And how are they "made?"  Evidently, if you send your children to that amusement park, you will make them strong, fearless, and brave.  Are you kidding me?
            While it is true that fearless kids are not born, we are a pretty sad lot if we think turning them over to these folks will make them fit for a life that usually has its share of tragedy and hardship.  On the contrary, too many of our kids who are raised on amusement parks and entertainment in general tend to think themselves "entitled"—entitled to fun and toys of all sorts, even if it bankrupts the family or destroys any semblance of family time.  Then when the inevitable hardship occurs, they turn into unstable mush. 
            I would hope that Christian parents know better.  The Bible tells us how to be fearless, and it also tells us that it is our responsibility to raise those souls God has entrusted to us and no one else, certainly not Universal Studios.
You start by teaching them about God.  God is your shield, Gen 15:1, you tell them.  He is your light, your salvation, your stronghold, Psa 27:1.  He will not leave you or forsake you, Deut 31:6.  How can you be afraid when you know that?
           You are important to Him, important enough for Him to give His Son to save you, John 3:16.  He offers you redemption Isa 43:1.  He finds you valuable, Matt 10:31.  Like Daniel, if you remain true to him you are "greatly loved," Dan 10:19.  When was the last time you neglected something that valuable to you?  Never, probably, and that's the way it is with God, too.
            He will hear your prayers, Dan 10:12, and he will bless you, giving you a hope others in the world do not have, 1 Pet 3:14.  Why should you "fear their fear" 1 Pet 3:14?
          Then you set the example yourselves.  Act like someone who is fearless, someone who trusts God in every situation, even when you do not understand and things look grim.  Show your child trust, show him courage, show him that you believe all those things you have been telling him all his life, and act like someone who isn't afraid of anything.  You aren't afraid because you know where you stand with God, and that is the key.  Why be afraid of anything else in this life if you know who is on your side, and where you are going when it's over?
          No amusement park in the world can make a fearless kid out of your child.  Only you can.  If you want to go there for a visit, that's fine, but don't fall for the guff.  You are the one God will hold accountable.
 
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isa 41:10)
 
Dene Ward

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. (Jas 1:22-25)
            How many times has the above passage been used in sermons and articles?  I think I have even used it myself, at least once if not more, on this blog.  We must constantly look at ourselves in the mirror of God's word and then we will see all of our faults and be able to fix them, right?  I recently had an experience that made me stop and rethink all of that.
            We had the privilege of keeping our grandsons for a while, and had taken them to their favorite eating joint.  Silas sat across from me in the booth and we were discussing school or friends or something of the sort.  He leaned down to get a sip of his soda then looked right at me and said, "Grandma?"
            "Yes?" I encouraged.
 "You have two different eyes, don't you?  One big eye and one little eye."
            It took a minute for me to realize what he meant.  So then I explained that I had very sick eyes (which is exactly what one doctor called them), and that the "little eye" had needed so many surgeries that I couldn't hold it open as well as I could the other one.  He was perfectly satisfied with the explanation and we went on to talk about other things.
            That night I looked in the mirror, wondering where this "little eye" was that he saw.  I had never noticed that much difference.  That's when I realized that every time I looked in the mirror I only looked at the other eye.  It has had surgeries too, and it is also "sick," but it has not been medically abused as much as the other.  When I made myself look at both eyes I was actually startled.  Since I always focus on the other eye, I had never really noticed exactly how different the two eyes look.
            Don't you suppose the same thing can happen when we look in the mirror James spoke about?    Simply looking in the mirror is not enough when we only look at the good we do and refuse to look at the very sick parts of our souls, the parts that really need spiritual medicine.
            So here is today's challenge:  don't just look at the big eye; focus on the little one, the one you really need to see.  I can't fix my "little eye," but you can fix yours right up, if you are brave enough to really look at it and honest enough to change.
 
How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye. (Luke 6:42)
 

Once there were two young brothers.  The older was a young teenager, and the younger an early middle schooler.  Not long before, they had been playmates, but the older brother had that usual growth spurt that boys do and suddenly he was a foot taller and his voice an octave lower than his little brother's.  Even his thinking had begun to change so that when he led a prayer, he prayed part as a little boy with little boy wishes and part as a young man in whom was dawning the greater complexities and spirituality of life.
            One day when their grandmother was visiting, they decided to "play golf," which turned out to be their own made-up game with made-up rules because, let's face it, you can't hit a long, hard drive in your backyard without endangering your neighbor's abode.  Grandma was the scorekeeper, and she wondered how this would work at all with big brother suddenly so much bigger, stronger, and more adept as a budding young golfer.  It worked just fine.
            Whenever little brother hit it "in the rough," big brother told him, "Go ahead and toss it out into the short grass.  We won't count that stroke."  And so little brother, while remaining behind in the scoring, was not so far behind that it discouraged him.  Then big brother made a few excellent shots and found himself five or six points ahead (which is actually lower, you know) than his little brother.  Suddenly, big brother was not playing quite as carefully, though not very noticeably so, and little brother caught up and made it a tie.  The game went into "Sudden Death," as the brothers called it.  Eventually, big brother won by 1.  He was satisfied with his win and little brother was more than pleased with his showing and not a bit disappointed.  After all, he had expected to lose to someone bigger, stronger, and more adept at golf.
            But he never really noticed what his brother had done for him, and big brother kept it that way.  No rubbing little brother's nose in his inability.  No bragging about how much better he was.  No taking this great opportunity to rout the weaker brother and enjoy stomping him in the dust.  Just a quiet, humble way of serving his brother that encouraged and motivated him to try even harder.
            And I am one proud Grandma.
 
We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me” Rom 15:1-3).
 
Dene Ward

I taught piano lessons (and later added voice lessons) for over 35 years.  By the time I had to quit due to my eye problems, I had a full studio with a two year waiting list.  My students participated in three competitions a year, and no less than four joint recitals, depending upon their ages and their pieces.  At the end of the year, we had what I billed as "the Spring Program," because most people considered recitals "boring" and our programs were anything but.  We put on a show and we had fun.  And afterward I handed out sometimes as many as 20 awards, including some state competition trophies.  Yes, it was a very big deal in our lives.
            "Our lives" because my boys were part of it.  I taught them both.  Lucas went on to focus on voice and theory, while Nathan stayed with the piano.  It's always satisfying to see your children follow in your footsteps.  One day Nathan and I sat down and sightread duets for a half hour or so.  I don't know about him, but I had a blast.  He had grown and learned enough that we could share on an equal footing, a truly exhilarating experience.
            And now, thanks to seeing Daddy play at home, my grandson Silas has started piano lessons.  Last spring I went to his first recital.  He had wowed me all morning, playing a hands-moving-together piece at a difficulty that no 6 year old student of mine had ever reached—with only 8 months of piano under his belt.  We not only practiced his piece, but his bow as well. (Any of my old students reading this will understand.)  And so we all went to the auditorium and sat four rows from the front while he walked up to the grand piano and played his piece.  Perfectly.  With the classiest bow of the evening.  Just last week he did the same thing, this year playing three pieces—perfectly with an almost professional bow.
            I couldn't stop smiling.  And I also couldn't stop the tears from welling in my eyes.  Somehow I managed to get them under control before he saw them, and I gave him a huge hug.  "I am very proud," I said.  "You have made me very happy."
            As proud and happy as I was that day, there are a few other things that would make me even happier.  I doubt I even have to list them.  You know exactly what I am talking about because you wish them for your children and grandchildren too.
            I still help Silas with his piano practice.  With a new piece I often play the left hand while he plays the right, and then we swap places.  By then he can manage to put both hands together himself.  I still help with the theory homework, clapping out rhythms and asking questions that lead him to the right answers.
            But more often than that, we talk about Bible characters, narratives and principles.  We talk about God.  We pray together and sing together.  We memorize verses and recite them together.  Doesn't he get this from his parents?  Of course he does, but the more he gets from more different people—especially people who mean something to him—the more it will mean to him, and the better it will stick.  Just like his Grandma and Daddy playing the piano.
            That first recital was wonderful.  But a first public prayer, a first sermon, and of course, the first commitment--when the time is right--will be even better.
 
But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments. (Ps 103:17-18)
 

I remember when we were jumping through insurance hoops trying to make sure my grandchildren did not inherit more than my neonatal dairy allergy. I looked into those big blue eyes that sparkled so, trying to convince myself that they looked more like theirs grandfather’s than mine.  Even if they looked exactly like mine, odds are they did not inherit the condition.  They might have been 100 times more likely to have it than any other baby, but that still makes it a one in a million chance.  It happened that way with their uncle.  The minute they put him in my arms and I saw his eyes my heart froze, but seven months later we knew he had only inherited the look, not the problem.  Still, I would have felt horrible if I had passed this on to poor little Silas and Judah, and it appears that I did not.
            There are worse things to pass on to one’s children and grandchildren.  And [Jehoram] walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as did the house of Ahab; for he had the daughter of Ahab to wife: and he did that which was evil in the sight of Jehovah... [Ahaziah] also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab; for his mother was his counselor to do wickedly… And Joram said, Make ready. And they made ready his chariot. And Joram king of Israel…went out to meet Jehu…And…he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, What peace, so long as the whoredoms of your mother Jezebel…are so many? 2 Chron 21:6; 22:3; 2 Kgs 9:21.
            Are you familiar with this narrative in the Bible?  Start in 1 Kings 16 and read through chapter 11 of 2 Kings some night when you want a really good story.  It is a little of everything:  a family saga; an action-adventure story; a political thriller.  It has a villainess of unspeakable cruelty, an underground movement, a mole in the hierarchy, and a hero who saves the day.  All of this was brought about by the evil influence Ahab and Jezebel had on their children and grandchildren. 
            Perhaps the worst of the bunch was Athaliah, their daughter, who reached the point that she could order the murder of “all the seed royal,” among them her own grandchildren.  I have always thought this woman’s crimes especially heinous but now, having held a grandchild in my arms, I know she must have reached a level of moral depravity nearly unheard of, at least among God’s people.  That is what her parents passed on to her, for the next generation always sees our inconsistencies, the line we will not cross because of the inhibiting baggage we have brought to the table.  They see that inconsistency and erase the line, taking what we have taught them to its logical end.
            I cannot control whether Silas will inherit my physical condition; but I can control my influence on his spiritual condition.  I can set an example of faith that will reinforce his in moments of trial.  I can set an example of endurance to bolster his ability to overcome.  I can show him how a mature Christian behaves, even when people are less than accommodating.  Those things I can do, if I will.
            Having children is great motivation to be and do better.  Because the end may be in sight and priorities have become clearer, having grandchildren should be the best motivation yet.
 
I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers in a pure conscience, how unceasing is my remembrance of you in my supplications, night and day longing to see you, remembering your tears, that I may be filled with joy; having been reminded of the unfeigned faith that is in you; which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice; and, I am persuaded, in you also, 2 Tim 1:3-5.
 
Dene Ward

A long time ago my piano teacher organized her students into something called a junior music club, and one year I served as president.  Because we students were members of this club, we were eligible to participate in several special events and recitals, including something called “the Festival” where our performances were rated by a judge, who also gave helpful comments and encouragement.
            Twenty years later I joined a local chapter of the Florida Federation of Music Clubs and eventually attended one of their State Conventions.  As I watched, listened and learned, all the pieces began to click into place.
            FFMC is a group of “senior clubs.”  Unlike a professional organization, parents of students and music lovers in the community are allowed to join, along with the independent music teachers, which greatly increases your volunteer pool as you try to spread the love and appreciation of music and support music education in your communities. 
            Each teacher in the local senior group was supposed to organize her students into a junior club.  My teacher, whom I later discovered had been a State President of FFMC, did exactly that.  Here is the genius of that plan—you are growing your own replacements, teaching them what the organization is about, making them as useful as possible in whatever capacity they can manage at their various ages. 
            Unfortunately, few teachers did anything more than put their students’ names on a roster so they could take advantage of the privileges of membership.  Responsibility was never taught. And worse, the senior division, all the way to state level, did not use their younger members, even though they held “state elections.”  My son Nathan, who was also my student, was elected state president of the junior division in his senior year of high school, but I had to suggest, recommend, and finally push for him and his fellow officers to be used as real members.  No one had ever thought of that, which is probably why I did not at first recognize FFMC years later.  No one had taught me the ropes.  As a student I was a member in name only.
            The same thing happens in the church.  We look at our young people and call them “the future of the church,” and then sit back and assume that someday in that future they will “grow up in all things unto him” (Eph 4:15). 
            Here is the problem:  We treat baptism like flea dip for our dogs.  We get our children wet and say, "Whew!  Got rid of all those sins, now they're safe."  But Romans tells us that when we are baptized, we are raised to walk a new life.  Something has changed.  Do they know that?  Can young children even articulate what needs to change about themselves?
            Jesus says you don’t make a commitment to Him until you count the cost.  Have we helped them count the cost of discipleship to the Lord?  Are they even able to?
            Colossians tells us that we are raised from baptism to "walk with him."  "Walk" means a lifetime not a moment.  Are they old enough to even comprehend that sort of commitment?
            1 Corinthians 12 says baptism makes them “members of the body” (I Cor 12:13).  If they aren’t ready to be working members, committed servants who put others before themselves, then they aren’t ready to be baptized.
If all we teach them is that they must be baptized or they can't go to Heaven, all we have done is terrorize them, and shame on us.  It is simple to indoctrinate a child well before they are able to count the cost of changing their lives, make a lifetime commitment and actually begin serving.  The New Testament knows nothing of junior members in the church; babes, yes, but even babes participate in on-the-job training.  Either they are members or they aren't according to Corinthians.  Consider the following.
            A working member does more than read the Scripture and pass the plates.  For one thing, what about the young ladies?  These young people may not have the deep knowledge and wisdom to participate in every aspect of the work, but they should all be able to serve the Lord’s body.  Teach them how and expect it of them.  Or else do not baptize them.
            Take them visiting with you—the sick, the lonely widows, even the bereaved.  If you don’t think your child can handle that, then think again about whether he was really mature enough to commit.  Have them help clean the houses and do the yard work for those who no longer can.  Keith had a stroke one year in the middle of leaf season.  Half a dozen young high school men came to our home—a thirty mile drive one way—and raked all morning.  Another group helped unpack when my mother moved, and another helped clean.  They were thrilled to help, returning to me again and again with, “What should I do now?”  These young people are obviously ready to serve.
            Teach them to take responsibility for their own Bible study.  That’s what a committed disciple does.  Expect them to not only do their class lessons without being told, but to develop personal study habits.  If you always have to remind them, are they really as devoted to the Lord as their baptism should have shown them to be?  If you are making excuses, especially in regard to their age, then once again you may be admitting that all you did was scare your child to death, not make them dedicated disciples.
            Take them to the extra Bible studies with you.  I do run a Tuesday morning Bible class for the women, but I also hold one on the third Sunday afternoon of the month for those who have secular jobs or other daytime commitments—like high school and college.  I have had teenagers as young as sixteen take part.  They do their lessons and comment almost as freely as the older women. 
            Turning your baptized offspring into working members will also do this for you—if I expect to teach my child what it means to be a member of the Lord’s body, I need to be showing them how myself.  Nothing made me a better Christian than having that red, wrinkled, squirming infant placed in my arms.  The same thing should happen when your child becomes a babe in Christ. 
            And speaking of babies, do you know why we have adult infants in the church?  Because we scared the innocent to death instead of teaching them early enough about conversion, service, and commitment.  There may be no better way to ensure the demise of the body of Christ than turning it over to the coddled who were taught that baptism was all about escaping Hell.
            Don’t call your young people by that unscriptural term, “the future of the church.”  Either they are members of the body or they are not.  Prepare them.  As the old saying goes, the future is now.
 
For in one Spirit were we all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether bond or free; and were all made to drink of one Spirit. 1Cor 12:13

And all that believed were together, and had all things common; and they sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all, according as any man had need. And day by day, continuing steadfastly with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread at home, they took their food with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God, and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to them day by day those that were saved. Acts 2:44-47
 
Dene Ward

Parenting articles can only do so much.  The biggest problem is making parents understand their role.  Once they get what it’s all about, they usually do their best to accomplish the goal.  If they have the wrong goal or worse maybe, no goal at all, they will flounder around and do nearly everything wrong.  Believe me, you do enough wrong when you are actually trying to do right.  So here are, not a huge list no one is capable of remembering under stress, but just a couple of things, suitable for any circumstance. Remember these and you will come far closer to being good parents than you would have before.

1. YOU ARE THE BOSS.
            First, being parents means YOU are in charge.  You are supposed to be older and wiser, the ones God meant to guide their way.  You do not have to ask your children’s permission for anything. 
            You don’t say, “Would like a bath?”  Instead you gently lead them toward the bathroom where you already have the water running and say, “It’s time for a bath!”  You don’t ask them, “Do you want to go to bed now?”  You begin whatever their bedtime routine is and lead them that way.  If you have done this from the beginning, you will not have any problems.  It’s only if you are just now trying to change the habits of a two year old that things become difficult.  Make it easy on yourself by getting it right from the start.
            When I see parents who are afraid of their children, cringing when they have to say, “Not today,” I know something has gone dreadfully wrong.  When a child knows she can pitch a fit in a store and get exactly what she wants, she has not learned who is in control.
            It is not bad to think this way, no matter what some child raising guru might tell you.  This is how you teach them respect for authority.  They need to know without question that when mom and dad say they should do something, that’s exactly what they should do.  It will make school easier for them (and their teachers).  It will make their work lives easier.  It will certainly make it easier when they understand the authority of the law of the land.  Do you know how many young men have sat across the desk from my husband thinking they could still go wherever they wanted to go even if they were under house arrest?  When they wound up in prison for violating their probation, they finally understood.
            And understanding and respecting authority will ultimately save their souls.  Eli forgot that, and because he did not “restrain” his sons but sat back while they profaned the tabernacle and its worship, they lost their lives and their souls, and he lost his life and his family the priesthood.  And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. Therefore I swear to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.” (1Sam 3:13-14)

2.  YOUR JOB IS TO RAISE THEM TO BE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS.
And of course, as a Christian, you can add, “an obedient and faithful child of God.”
            That means you don’t do everything for them.  Can they make their own bed?  Can they sew on a button?  Can they wash their own clothes?  Can they iron a wrinkled shirt?  Can they write a check?  You would be surprised how many kids get to college and haven’t learned any of these things because Mama always did it for them.
          It means you make them work and expect that work to be done according to some set standard.  Of course you tailor the work to their ages and abilities.  You don’t put a five year old out to mow the yard, but he can certainly pick up his toys every night.
            It means you teach them common decency and manners.  They should show gratitude for gifts and service.  I remember that I was taught to say to the woman who had invited us over for dinner, “I enjoyed my meal.  Thank you very much.”  Which presupposes that you have taught them not to look at a proffered meal over which someone slaved for hours and say, “Yuk.  I don’t like that!”  We had a rule in our house.  If you said “Yuk!”—even to me—you had to eat a double portion. 
            It means you allow them to fail once in a while.  If you fix every problem they get themselves into, what have they learned?  Mama cannot fix it when the police come after him.  Far better he find out that actions have consequences when the consequences are much smaller.  Yes, it will still seem like a lot to him when he discovers that you cannot necessarily replace an expensive toy he left out in the rain, but it won’t be prison time, and he is far less likely to even face that on down the road after he learned this lesson on something less important.
            It also means you teach him that he is not the center of the universe.  He may be that to you, but don’t let him know it, not if you expect him to become a generous and considerate adult.  One way you do that is to make sure your MARRIAGE is the center of the home, not the children.  They need to see that marriage played out in front of them every day.  They even need to see the mistakes and the fact that you forgive one another and hang in there because of a thing called commitment.   When you have finished raising those children and they are out the door, if your marriage has been neglected, you will have nothing left.   I have seen it too many times.
            Expect them to learn to sacrifice for the good of the family.  Dad does not give up a good promotion because Susie doesn’t want to move and leave her friends.  If you have done your job, that shouldn’t even come up. 
            Expect them to take responsibility for their own lives, gradually at first, but eventually learning to do their homework without being reminded, and their Bible class lessons the same way.  Teach them to make smart choices.  You start by laying out two or three acceptable outfits for kindergarten and allowing them to choose which one they want to wear.  You do NOT start by letting them choose from the whole assortment.  Appropriate behavior, language, and dress are essential to courtesy.  Jesus himself used a parable in which a man inappropriately dressed for a wedding was thrown out, and Jesus approved whole-heartedly.  You are not stifling his creativity by not allowing him free rein.  From what I have seen, that excuse has less to do with enlightened parenting and more to do with lazy parenting.  You are supposed to be teaching them wisdom in their decision making.
            David made the mistake of teaching Adonijah that he could have whatever he wanted, no matter who it hurt, no matter what his father wanted, and no matter what God had said otherwise.  Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. His father had never at any time displeased him by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” (1Kgs 1:5,6)  And the result?  Adonijah wound up executed.
            So those are my two basic rules.  Remember who is in charge—BE in charge--and teach them to become the kind of adults you won’t be ashamed of, in fact, the kind of adults God would not be ashamed of.  If you think of those two things in every situation, I guarantee you will do more right than wrong.
 
And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Heb 12:5-6)
 
Dene Ward

“Stop acting like a child!” has become a staple line of many arguments.  Yet one time, Jesus said the very opposite. 
            Verily I say unto you, Except you turn, and become as little children, you shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven, Matt 18:3.  Unfortunately, whenever this event in Jesus’ life comes up in Bible classes, we totally ignore the context and instead start listing all the wonderful qualities of children.  By the time we have finished, it’s a wonder we can’t find dozens of passages telling us to act like children instead of dozens telling us to grow up!  Till we all attain unto the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a full-grown man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, Eph 4:13. Worse than that, we miss the point Jesus is making.
            Look what was happening immediately before.  The Twelve were arguing about which of them was the greatest in the kingdom.  Surely that had something to do with Jesus’ admonition.  
            The verse after the one we all quote so often specifies, Whosoever shall humble himself as this little child…(v 4).  What was it about this particular child?  He had no status or rank, no wealth, and nothing to offer in worldly terms at all.  All he did was come the minute he was called and trust the one who called implicitly.  Don’t you think that made those men squirm in embarrassment at their previous behavior?
            Then Jesus went on to add,   But whoso shall cause one of these little ones that believe on me to stumble, it is profitable for him that a great millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depth of the sea, v 6.  Here He included those metaphorical children who would come to Him with the same humility and trust.  How we treat them determines our fate as much as how we live our lives, or even how we worship or where.
            Do you think the early disciples did not need this lesson?  Besides their constant bickering about who was the greatest, those early churches had arguments about who had the greatest spiritual gift and who should get the most “floor time” with his gift, 1 Cor 12-14. They bragged about which preacher baptized them, 1 Cor 1.  They showed off their wealth in bringing so much Lord’s Supper that it constituted a braggadocio feast instead of a memorial supper, 1 Cor 11.  Their women had to be reminded not to dress up to show off their wealth, 1 Tim 2.  They were told that how they received guests into their assembly could condemn them as easily as committing adultery or murder, James 2.  Clearly, personal humility and acceptance of others regardless of rank was a lesson they needed from the beginning. 
            Why was that important?  Because, as Jesus tells the sheep in that great parable of the judgment in Matt 25, when they wonder how they had served the Lord by feeding, clothing, and visiting him, he answers them this way, Inasmuch as you did it unto one of these my brethren, even these least, you did it unto me, Matt 25:40.  Any time we reject a brother because we think we are better than he, whether because of wealth, education, race, or anything other consideration, we are rejecting the Lord for the same reason.
            So the next time this passage comes up in Bible class, let’s see if, instead of listing all the sweet things our children do, we can actually get the lesson Jesus intended from it.  It’s a whole lot more important than we seem to think.
 
 And he took a little child, and set him in the midst of them: and taking him in his arms, he said unto them, Whosoever shall receive one of such little children in my name, receives me: and whosoever receives me, receives not me, but him that sent me, Mark 9:36,37.
 
Dene Ward

I imagine we could all sit around telling stories for hours about the misheard lyrics our children sang before they learned to read along in the songbook.  I will never forget the day Lucas asked his song-leading grandfather (Papa) to sing, "He whispers the peas to me."  Or the day I was standing in the kitchen and heard his sweet little voice singing, "When the roll is called under the water."  His little brother had his own versions of the standard hymns.  One day as we were wandering through the produce department at the grocery store he said, "Mom, sing the song about the sandals."  "The sandals?" I asked, running through familiar hymns in my head as quickly as I could.  "Yes," he said, "all other ground is sinking sandals."
            All of those are favorite stories, but I was reminded recently of one I like even better.  As usual, I was working on something while my two toddlers were playing, and just as usual, they were singing.  Lucas, at 3, could carry a tune and had a larger range than most toddlers his age, a direct product, I think, of growing up hearing a capella music several times a week.  He had been humming along and suddenly I heard, "No tears, no tears up there.  Sorrow and planes, we'll all have fun."
            I was still blinking my eyes in surprise when he asked, "Mommy, what are sorrow and tears?  They must be bad guys, right?  Because they don't get to go to Heaven."  That little guy could teach us all a lesson or two.
            First, he didn't just sing—he thought about what he was singing.  Maybe he didn't get the words right, but he got what he understood.  He knew he was singing about Heaven so "We'll all have fun," made perfect sense to him.  And evidently, he had enjoyed that plane ride he had been on a couple of months earlier, so planes in Heaven made sense too.
            Second, when there was something he didn't understand, like "sorrow" and "tears," he figured something out about them with just a little logic.  They won't be in Heaven so they must be bad, and when you are a three year old boy who loves Superman, "bad" means "bad guys."  Then he asked someone else to make sure he was right.
            And third, he was thinking about what he sang long after the worship had ended. 
            Surely, I don't have to spell out the lessons in this one.  Do you know what you are singing, which is the title of this little series I have written for several years now?  (You can find them all in the archives under Music.)  Do you think about the songs you have sung to worship God?  Do you keep on singing them, even after you leave the meetinghouse, and perhaps sing them with even more understanding?
            If a three year old can, surely we can too.
 
Sing praises to God, sing praises: Sing praises unto our King, sing praises. For God is the King of all the earth: Sing ye praises with understanding (Ps 47:6-7).
 
Dene Ward