The other morning I headed for the bluebird houses to give them a good cleaning out.  "Before nesting season," I wanted to add, but it was early March already, and as I made my way to the farthest house, a daddy bluebird flitted out and sat on the fence before I could get there.  I put on the brakes immediately.  He was doing his job of trying to distract something he thought of as a predator away from the nest.  Yes, I was indeed too late, and had suspected so already.  Late January would have been much better. 

I headed for the next bluebird house a little more slowly and quietly.  Nothing flew out as I approached, so I carefully unlatched and opened the door and saw what appeared to be a brand new nest, waiting for the Mama and her eggs.  Another too little, too late moment for me.  The third house was the only one we could actually clean an old nest out of, and make ready for a new avian family.  Next year I will do better!

I have watched birds parenting their babies for fifteen years now and it always amazes me.  I have seen cardinals bring their young to the feeder to show them where to eat.  I have seen a mockingbird do the same as that first bluebird I mentioned, flying away from the nest in hopes of distracting me from the eggs, and later the nestlings.  I have seen a hawk teach her babies how to hunt, bringing them back to the nest in the evening with whatever prey they have found, a good week of lessons before the young hawk finally flew away to fend on its own.  I have seen a mama wren teaching her little ones to fly, watching them carefully as they flitted barely a foot off the ground, moving with them around the house until they could finally lift themselves high enough to safety.

All of those small feathered parents have succeeded in their tasks.  The babies eat and grow, learn and practice, and ultimately leave behind an "empty nest" to begin their own lives, to have their own babies, and do the same teaching all over again.

I wonder about some human parents.  Some of us forget that the point of teaching is to work our way out of a job.  If your children still need you to tell them how to behave, how to take care of their personal hygiene, how to handle money, how to get along with others, how to obey the laws of the land and stay out of trouble, when they are approaching thirty, what in the world did you do all those years when you had them as a "captive audience?"  If they cannot leave the nest and survive in the world, something went dreadfully wrong.

Some parents are too sheltering.  It is one thing to hide the ugliness of the world from a little one, it is another to allow a teenager to think everyone is a friend and can be trusted implicitly, even the stranger on the street corner.  If, as I did, you live mainly among your brethren, your children will more than likely be taken advantage of one way or the other because they have not learned that not everyone out there has good intentions.  It's up to you to warn them.

Some parents want so badly to be their child's "friend" that they do not act like the parents they truly need, teaching them responsibility and a good work ethic.  So we continually pick up after them and wait on them like they are royalty, granting every wish their heart desires.  Meanwhile, they never learn how to take care of themselves and, in fact, as adults they do not, wreaking havoc on their physical health, their economic reputations, and their ability to work for a living.  One reason we chose to live in the country is that the chores were not make-work.  Helping their father cut wood, stack it so it would be preserved, and carry it to the wood stove in the house, kept us warm on cold, winter days.  They knew their work mattered.  Do you know how those Bible characters did so well as children?  People in those times raised their children to be responsible over serious matters from the time they could walk.  They were expected to be adults, having families and providing for them by their mid-teens because they were trained to be able to do that by then.  (No. I am not advocating teen marriages.)  We mollycoddle them, then wonder why they are still so immature at 16 and 17!  Meanwhile, we expect them to be able to commit their lives to God at 12, when our culture does not prepare them for such a thing.  That does not mean a particular set of parents can't do it, but how many of those twelve year olds still have to be nagged into doing their Bible lessons and refuse to turn off the video games to do so?  They have no clue what lifetime commitment and devotion mean at all.

Some parents shield their children from the consequences of their mistakes.  We want to "fix" everything for them if we can, but at some point, we need to stop that.  They will grow up thinking they will always get out of the messes they make of their lives unscathed.  Far better to let them suffer a tiny bit on something that may seem earth-shattering at the age of 8 and learn the lesson then, than to let them learn it as they sit across the table from a probation officer, or worse, in a prison cell.  At that point, it may even be impossible for them to learn.

And some parents seem to think that their children should never leave the nest at all.  Oh, they might have their own apartments or even houses, but it had better be close by and we had better see them several times a week!  And many children love it.  They are so used to Mom doing their laundry and cooking their meals they wouldn't want it any other way.  That "empty nest" that so many are afraid of is perfectly normal.  That's why it is so important to keep your marriage strong—one of these days, God meant that it would just be the two of you again, as it was for your parents when you left the nest. 

If we were all birds, I can't help but wonder how many of our children would survive.  How many would never learn to fly and wind up easy pickings for the neighbor's cat, or out here in the country, the coyotes, foxes, bobcats, and snakes?  How many would starve because they never learned how to provide for themselves?  And how long before all birds ceased to exist because all the babies stayed in the nest without forming normal healthy relationships with anyone except Mom and Dad?

I used to tell my piano students that my job was to help them reach the point that they no longer needed me.  That's a hard thing for a parent to even contemplate, but all things being equal, one day we will be gone long before they are.  What will happen to your little birds then?
 
Yea, the stork in the heavens knows her appointed times; and the turtle-dove and the swallow and the crane observe the time of their coming; but my people know not the law of Jehovah, Jer 8:7                                                          
 
Dene Ward

It must be a Southern thing.  We have a tendency to call the people we love after food—honey, honey pie, honey bun, and honey bunch; sweetie, sweet pea, and sweetie pie; muffin, dumplin’ and punkin’, baby cakes and cupcake, sugar and sugar plum.

            Speaking of sugar, that’s my favorite term for hugs and kisses from little ones.  Whenever a child is in my lap, I will kiss the top of his head every 15 seconds or so and not even realize it.   My own children probably have indentations there from several thousand kisses a year, just counting church time.  My grandchildren are learning it now.  And they love it.  I remember kissing Silas’s cheek once when he was two and having him run to his mama to tell her, “Grandma got sugar!” with a big grin on his face.

            Little Judah especially loves the sugar game.  The last time we were together after I had leaned over and gotten some “neck sugar” and “cheek sugar,” he grabbed his buddies and started kissing them.  First Tiger, then Marshall, and finally he even balled up a wad of blankie and gave it a kiss.  “Are you getting sugar?” I asked, and he smiled his contented little bashful smile and nodded his head, yes.

            Children revel in the knowledge that they are loved.  It feeds a healthy self-esteem and gives them the feelings of security needed when they are out there trying things out and learning about their world.  Failure doesn’t matter when you are loved.

            And that is why a patently obvious love is absolutely essential to discipline.  If you are the kind of parent you ought to be—setting boundaries and punishing inappropriate behavior from early on—your child needs to know that you love him more than life itself.  He needs to hear those words and feel the warmth in your voice and your arms and your heart.  Then it won’t matter that you punished him yesterday.  He will know you love him and will try even harder to please you.

            It isn’t all hugs and kisses.  The older they get, the less that works.  But you can still show it with words of appreciation, pride, and approval.  Have you ever told your children how much it means to you when they behave in public?  How wonderful it is that you don’t have to worry what they might do in someone else’s home?  What a special gift it is in the middle of a stressful situation to know they are one thing you don’t have to worry about, that you can take them anywhere any time and they won’t act up, that it makes you want them with you even more?  Do you think that saying those things might help them behave a little better?

            If all they hear are complaints, growls, screams, and great heaving sighs of frustration and anger, all of them hurled in their direction, what do you think they will think about your feelings toward them?  Even when they are very young, they can feel the tensions.  Even when they do not understand the words, they will know something isn’t quite right.  And they will always think it’s their fault and that’s why you don’t love them.  Even when it’s your fault for not having disciplined them correctly or soon enough.  Three or four hugs will get them past a deserved and justified spanking.  It will take thirty to undo the hurt of an angry, sarcastic parent.

            The last time Silas was with us I told him how proud I was of him, the way he took his medicine without fuss, the way he sat still in church and behaved in Bible class, the way he always brushed and flossed his teeth without having to be told.  I told him how proud I was of how he took care of his little brother.  He looked up at me the whole time, his attention never wavering, with his eyes shining and a big smile on his face. 

           “I love you, Grandma,” he said.
           
           And of course, I got some sugar too. 
 
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, Ps 103:13; Titus 2:4.

My grandsons have “buddies,” their favorite stuffed animals/characters/items to sleep with.  For Silas it is a soft fabric Spiderman, a well-worn and slightly dingy Puppy, and his “blankie,” a receiving blanket that has been with him since he was an infant.  For Judah it’s Lucky the Tiger (stuffed of course), Marshall (a stuffed Dalmatian he named after the Paw Patrol character), and his blankie, Leo, several times bigger than his brother’s.  They go with them everywhere.  On any sort of trip, you will see those buddies in the back seat.  Sometimes they are not in the arms of those little guys, but just their presence somewhere nearby has a calming effect.

Can they do without them?  Yes, they can.  They never take them into the church meetinghouse, or into a restaurant, and especially not to school.  Their primary function is as bedtime buddies.  However, should they become frightened or upset, guess who they look for?  Guess what they ask for?  When the tears start, guess what Mommy and Daddy start scouring the house for?  Once they are found, the relief is instant.  No more crying.  No more fear.  No more worries about what lies ahead.  They have their buddies, and they are just fine.  They will even tolerate being left with a babysitter or taken two plus hours north to Grandma’s house for several days without Mom and Dad as long as those buddies are with them.

At the risk of sounding irreverent, isn’t that how God and our Lord should be to us?  Shouldn’t we recognize their presence every day, in fact, plead for their presence in our lives and be grateful for it?  When things go awry, as they will sooner or later in everyone’s life, shouldn’t they be the ones we look for?  And once we are assured of their presence, shouldn’t the relief be instant?  Isn’t that what faith is all about?

Hannah could not have children, it seemed, the great longing of every Hebrew woman.  In addition, her rival wife “provoked her” constantly.  She was “in great bitterness” and “wept sorely” (1 Sam 1:10).  What did she do?  She went to God and prayed her heart out.  “I poured out my soul before Jehovah,” she told Samuel (v 15).  And what happened afterward?  “Her countenance was no longer sad (v 18).

What do you do when a crisis rears its ugly head?  What do you rely on?  Who do you count on?  What calms your fears and dispels your worries?  Hannah knew who her real Buddy was, and He calmed her as no one else could.  If your “buddies” are anyone or anything besides your Father and Older Brother, you will be sorely disappointed in the results.  Those little boys will go anywhere as long as they have their buddies.  We sing a song, “If Jesus goes with me, I’ll go—anywhere.”  Can you?
 
I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy. Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name; the upright shall dwell in your presence, Ps 140:12-13.
Dene Ward

We did Lamaze just like all the other young couples when we had our boys.  But things did not work out quite like they were supposed to.  Something in the structure of my hips kept my babies from turning over facedown.  They were head down, not breach, but face up is a similar problem.  "Sunny side up," the OB nurses called it, so their little necks could not bend far enough to make that last curve and the first delivery was far more traumatic than it should have been.  Eventually the old country doctor we had in the cornfields of Illinois just yanked Lucas out with "high forceps."  By the time Nathan was born we were in a larger city and the doctor there, when confronted with the same problem, refused to do something so "barbaric."  "We don't do that here," he told me.  But I was fully dilated and ready to deliver so we had an emergency C-section. 
            Either way meant I did not have that first little cuddle with a newborn.  I was still under anesthesia with Nathan, and Lucas had been stuck in the birth canal so long his heartbeat was slowing and he needed extra care.  Finally about 4 hours after Lucas was born, I sat up gingerly on the side of the bed and they brought my newborn and placed him in my arms.  Of course he was precious and I loved him instantly, but the first thing I saw were his eyes.  They looked exactly like mine and I nearly cried.
            If you have been with me awhile, you know the eye saga.  I have so many rare conditions based primarily on the size and shape of my eyes that I have been told it's a wonder I got past 20 without losing my vision entirely.  And there he was, with exactly the same almond shaped eyes.  My eye doctor at the time insisted I take him in at six months and he examined him as well as you can a baby that size.  When he smiled and said, "He's just fine," I wanted to laugh and cry and do a jig all at the same time.  He may look like me, but down inside the workings of those eyeballs, he is not the same at all.  Praise God!
            But here is something we should all wonder:  what other things has my child inherited from me?  Not sin, of course.  We won't even argue that today.  But all of us have seen children grow up to act just like their parents.  Sometimes they take a tiny little flaw and take it to its logical and much larger end.  "How can you act that way?" parents will often say, and then cringe in horror as their children tell them.  We may have an unwritten line we will never cross.  They see the line for what it is—hypocrisy—and march right over it.
            It's fun to see ourselves in old photos of our parents, or even our ancestors from way back.  Every photo of my father as a child shows him crossing his feet, even in a high chair.  I did it as well, in every picture my mother had of me.  Lucas did not, but Nathan did, and now both of my grandsons, Nathan's sons, have done it.  But there are far more important things to look for, some we want to see and some we don't.  Look at your children and grandchildren today.  Watch them, train them.  That's what God expects of us.  He wants us all laughing, crying, and doing a jig on judgment day when we see those precious souls inherit a home in Heaven, despite their ancestors' flaws, including ours.
 
Give ear, O my people, to my law: Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, Telling to the generation to come the praises of Jehovah, And his strength, and his wondrous works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which he commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, even the children that should be born; Who should arise and tell them to their children, That they might set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep his commandments, (Ps 78:1-7).
 
Dene Ward

My two grandsons love to go to the park.  They love to swing and slide.  I’m not sure they have discovered the joys of my own childhood favorite—the seesaw.  Back then I was always looking for someone else to sit on the other end, and seldom found the perfect playmate.  She was always either too heavy or too light to balance it out, and one of us always hit the ground with a bang.  As for the boys, I usually put both of them on one side while I sit on the other, carefully balancing things with my own legs so they don't bounce off the top and I don't hit the ground with a bone-jarring thud.
            Over the years I have come to see that God requires His own kind of balance.  Nearly every major fault of His people has come with that old pendulum swing—from one extreme to the other.  From undisciplined emotionalism to empty ritualism, from faith only to works salvation—we struggle all the time to get the balance just right.  “Obedience from the heart,” Paul calls it in Rom 6:17.  And it has been so for thousands of years.
            In our Psalms class, we came upon another passage recently that emphasized yet again the problem of balance.  Over and over and over you read things like this:
            …you have tested me and you will find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress, 17:4
I have kept the ways of the Lord and have not wickedly departed from God, 18:21.
            Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the LORD without wavering, 26:1.
            It always bothered me a little when I saw passages like this, especially the ones written by David, as these three are.  Isn’t he being a little arrogant?  Especially him?
            But, as with all the Bible, you have to put things together to find the balance point.  Psalm 130, one of the Psalms of Ascents, certainly shows the opposite feeling:  If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? v 3.  After that, another quickly came to mind:  Enter not for judgment with your servant; for in your sight no man living is righteous, 143:2.
            The psalmists all seemed to understand the balance.  No one deserves salvation, but yes, we can be righteous in God’s eyes when we do our best to serve Him, when obedience is offered willingly, when adoration, reverence, and gratitude are the motivations behind every thought and action, when we don’t just do some right things, we become righteous.  The author of Psalms 130 goes on to say, “But there is forgiveness with you…” and “with Jehovah there is lovingkindness and…plenteous redemption.”          
            These men saw that salvation was a matter of a relationship with God, not ritualistic obedience nor self-serving obsequiousness, both of which are more about “me” than the God I claim to worship.  They proclaimed the balance that would fall before the Lord in reverence and service and yet stand before a Father singing praise and thanksgiving. 
            And I love that they did not feel required to offer qualifications to what they said.  “I am righteous,” they said, not bothering to add, “but I know I have sinned in the past, and may sin in the future.”  They never let the false beliefs of others compel them to soften a strong statement of faith in their Lord to do what He says He will—be merciful.  Why are we always dampening the assurance of our hope by pandering to the false teaching of others?  Let’s strive for perfect balance with this long ago anonymous brother:  With Jehovah there is plenteous redemption, and he shall redeem us!
 
Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom Jehovah does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no guile, Ps 32:1-2.
These things have I written…that you may know you have eternal life, 1 John 5:13
 
Dene Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.
 
I know, I know, I'm neither married nor do I have children so I have no right to write on this subject.  That is the usual reaction of most, isn't it?  It occurs to me that the two men who spoke the most on these subjects in the NT were Jesus and Paul, neither of whom were married or had kids.  How did they speak wisely on the subject?  Well, they spoke as the Holy Spirit directed them (Mark 13:11, John 8:28).  While I am in no way claiming inspiration, I can read what the inspired writers wrote down and pass on those principles.  So, in this post I will take care to not include any of my opinions nor any of the things I've heard my parents say as they taught marriage and family classes, but will present only what the Holy Spirit directed Solomon to say.  So, if you dislike or disagree with any of the following, you aren't disagreeing with me, but with the principles the Holy Spirit laid down through Solomon.
 
The first clear principle that Solomon lays down is that if you want to be a good parent, you must first make sure you are walking in the light.
Prov. 20:7  "The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!" 
Prov. 14:26  "In the fear of the LORD one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge." 
If a father or mother is righteous and walks in integrity, the children will be better off.  Blessed.  His children will have refuge from the chaos of this world.  This doesn't mean that you have to be completely perfect, but rather that your walk is in the light, instead of predominately in the dark.  A parent who doesn't care about being right himself can do immense damage to his family.
Prov. 11:29  "Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart."
The proverb seems to be the gist of what Paul was speaking of in Eph. 6:4   "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  So, as a parent, our first duty to our children is to ensure that we are walking right with God.  Good parenting will naturally follow.
 
The second thing Solomon says about child rearing is that it involves training.
Prov. 22:6  "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." 
Training in its nature implies time taken.  It implies a plan followed.  If you were paying a personal trainer to help you get in shape and he cancelled half your appointments and when he did show up he just randomly assigned you different exercises until it became plain he was not following any sort of planned program, you'd fire him, wouldn't you?  God has assigned us to train our children.  In these efforts, are we any different from that horrible physical trainer?  Solomon gives an example of how he worked to give his son a path to wisdom.
Prov. 22:17-21  "Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge, for it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips.  That your trust may be in the LORD, I have made them known to you today, even to you.  Have I not written for you thirty sayings of counsel and knowledge, to make you know what is right and true, that you may give a true answer to those who sent you?" 
Solomon not only taught his son, but wrote out 30 sayings for his son to learn.  He was working to lead his son in the right way.  Parents must have a plan, follow it, and be around their kids enough to know if it is working. 
Prov. 20:11  "Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright." 
Jesus said, "By their fruits you shall know them."  Solomon says the same about children.  We can know who they are by what they do.  Which means that parents should be paying attention so they can see if they need to adjust their planned training of their children to meet who their child actually is.  My parents tell me that I was a stubborn child who, when very young, would listen to Dad tell me not to do something and then, grinning, do it right in front of him.  Nathan, on the other hand, would say, "OK", leave, and then sneak back to do it when Dad wasn't around.  We made ourselves known by our acts and Dad and Mom had to adjust their training of us accordingly.  Parents should be teaching children a lifestyle discipline.
Prov. 29:17  "Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart." 
Prov. 19:18  "Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death." 
That last one is a bit funny.  I think all parents have a moment in which they just want to strangle their children. Solomon understands that and says, no, don't kill them, there is still hope.  Follow the discipline plan you've made and eventually "he will give delight to you heart."
 
Usually when we think of discipline, we think of punishment, which is not really correct.  However punishment is a part of teaching a discipline and of child rearing.  Solomon (from the Holy Spirit, remember) approved of corporal punishment in all areas of life (10:13, 14:3, 19:29, 20:30, 26:3) so it is not surprising that he approved of it in child rearing. 
Prov. 22:15  "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him."
Prov. 23:13-14  "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.  If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol."
 
There are two things to note in these passages.  First, the goal in mind:  to drive away folly and save his soul from Hell.   Good parents aren't striking their children just because they are angry.  They don't hit them because they had a bad day at work or they are disappointed in how their lives are going.  They apply corporal punishment as needed in following their plan to train up their child.  They do it for the purpose of driving out foolishness and saving the child from hell.   Also notice that "if you strike him with a rod, he will not die."  If your child is winding up in the hospital because of your "discipline", then you are doing it wrong!  This is supposed to be enough to straighten them up, not injure them.  The Bible does not condone child abuse.  Again, THE BIBLE DOES NOT CONDONE CHILD ABUSE.  It does, however, strongly endorse properly applied corporal punishment as a teaching tool.
Prov. 29:15  "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." 
Prov. 13:24  "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." 
Again, the purpose of reproving your child and using the switch is to give wisdom.  The other option is a child who brings shame to his parents.  As to the parents who say that they just can't bring themselves to spank their children, Solomon says it is because you don't love them enough.  Just as when Jesus says that if you don't hate your father and mother etc, you can't be His disciple (Luke 14:26) He doesn't mean to hate them, but to love Him enormously more, and Prov. 13:24 doesn't mean the parent actively hates the child and therefore withholds punishment, but rather he doesn't love the child enough to do what's in the child's best interest, even though it hurts the parent.  Let's face, you love that cute little bugger and it hurts to even think about being the reason he is crying.  It makes you sick to think about causing him pain.  If you truly love him, however, you will be diligent in your discipline.  "Diligent" implies hard work, and this is very hard for many parents, but remember the purpose:  to drive out foolishness, instill wisdom, and save his soul from hell.  That little pain you inflict when he is young will save him from huge amounts of pain later in this life and especially after it. 
There are a lot of people who disagree with this method of child rearing.  Despite it being taught by the wisest man ever, inspired by God to teach it, there is a growing number of people in the Church who don't follow the method (and then later wonder why their children went astray).  

Again, I am not giving you my opinion.  I simply read you what the Proverbs teach, so you aren't disagreeing with me, but with what the Holy Spirit led Solomon to write.  Let me leave you with one final proverb.
Prov. 14:12  "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death."
So, therefore,
Prov. 22:6  "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." 
 
Lucas Ward
 

And he came to Lystra and Derbe and behold, a certain disciple was there named Timothy, the son of a Jewess that believed, but his father was a Greek, Acts 16:1.
            Having been reminded of the unfeigned faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded, in you also, 2 Tim 1:5.
            Did you see it?  Don’t feel bad.  I missed it too, for years.
            Wasn’t it great that Eunice taught her son so well?  But how many of us are thinking in the back of our minds, “Tsk, tsk, it would have been easier if she had married a child of God to begin to with.”  I have been guilty of such snap judgments myself over the years, placing these people in my own culture and social customs.  Lydia aside, it was not common for a woman to make her own living in those days, in those places.  Because of that, to be left alone a widow was to be sentenced to a life of poverty and dependence upon the kindness of others.  Look how many passages in the Law made provisions for the widow and orphan.  They did not live in a day of insurance policies, pensions, Social Security, and Aid for Dependent Children.  If God’s people did not follow the Law as he designed it, the widow and orphan would starve. 
            Parents often arranged marriages, and expecting their daughter to live alone and support herself simply because they could not find a God-fearing husband for her was not an expedient choice for Eunice’s parents.  Out in the Gentile world with few practicing Jews in the area, the best they could do was find a Greek whom they thought would take good care of their daughter.
            And here is what we miss:  how do we know there were no Jews to choose from?  It was Paul’s custom to go to the synagogue first when he came to a town, (Acts 13:5, 14; 14:1: 17:1, etc).  From the account in Acts, it seems evident that there were no synagogues in Lystra or Derbe.  That also means there were fewer than 10 Jewish male heads of household in the town, the number necessary to form a synagogue, and not even enough Jewish women to meet down by the river as in Philippi, (16:13).  Which means there was no Jewish school to send her son to, one of the primary functions of a local synagogue.  Besides these obstacles, how many little boys want to “be like Daddy?”
             So now you have a woman married to a Greek, who was taught the scripture (Old Testament) so well that she “also believed,” meaning she accepted Jesus as the fulfillment of Messianic prophecy, something even the “well-educated” scribes and “pious” Pharisees could not seem to do.  And she raised a son to do the same, without a righteous man to influence him, without a formal religious education, and without a community of believers from which to draw help and encouragement.
            I daresay that none of us has the problems Eunice faced as a mother.  In this day when so many want to blame everyone else for their failures, when so many blame the church for the way their children turned out, she is a shining example of what can be done, of one who took the responsibility and, despite awesome odds, succeeded.
            The world bestows the term “Supermom” for all the wrong reasons.  Here is the real thing, one we should be emulating every day of our lives.
 
And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up.  And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be frontlets between your eyes.  And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and upon your gates,  Deut 6:6-9.
 
Dene Ward

Keith had to have some fairly serious surgery last year and since he is 90% deaf, the doctor arranged for me to be in his hospital room as his caregiver 24/7.  He does read lips fairly well, but lip reading is not the perfect solution to the problem.  He must “fill in the blanks,” so to speak, as his mind tries to interpret the sounds his ears miss, which is most of them.  It takes a lot of concentration, and when he is tired or does not feel well, he simply cannot hear at all.  But over the years I have learned how to communicate in all the various ways, from hand signals to pantomime to pointing at people or things to carefully wording without overdoing the mouth movements or using too many words. 
            So for six days we were both away from home and wouldn’t you know it, it was the height of garden season.  When we came home I had to do it all because he couldn’t even lift more than 10 pounds for two months, let alone bend over to pick vegetables or drag hoses.  That first week was the worst.  I picked every morning, sprayed the whole garden twice, (we’re talking an 80 x 80 garden here), pulled cucumber vines covered with blight, chopped out and hauled away the old corn stalks, placed folded newspapers under 50 cantaloupes so they wouldn’t rot on the ground (a very thin-skinned variety), cleaned out weed-choked flower beds, put up both dill and red cinnamon pickles, and picked and tossed 8 five gallon buckets of squash and cucumbers that did not have the grace to stop growing while we were in the hospital!
            Of course we all know that is not going to happen.  The plants continue to grow, the blossoms continue to set, and the fruit grows far larger than you ever imagined it could.  The back field looked like a marching band had gone through throwing out big yellow saxophones as they passed.
            It works that way with children too.  I can think of dozens of things we planned to do with our boys when they were little—things we never got to.  Sometimes it was a case of no money, but sometimes we just let life get in the way.  I wrack my brain trying to remember if there was anything we planned that we actually accomplished at all!  But just like gardens, children keep on growing.  They don’t stop to wait until you have more time to spend with them, or more resources to spend on them.  They won’t wait till you get a bigger house or an easier job or a raise.  They won’t wait until your life is exactly like you want it.  If that’s what you are waiting for, it will never happen.  You have to set your own priorities and make it happen.
            Every summer I made my boys a chore list.  I am sure they remember it fondly!  No, probably not, but on that list was this:  “Play a game with mom.”  Guess which “chore” they never skipped?  Sometimes it was checkers, sometimes it was monopoly, sometimes it was even pinochle, a game they learned with some of their dad’s commentaries set up on the table to hide their hands because they were too small to hold all the cards at once.  Sometimes it was one of the board games I made to help them with their Bible knowledge.  And every day we had Bible study of some kind, whether just talking about things between the bean rows as we picked together or a formal sit down study. 
            These are just some ideas to help you along.  We have all heard the old poem “Children Don’t Wait.”  It’s true, and last summer I thought about that even more as I looked out over the overgrown garden.  Maybe my grandsons will reap a little from the repeat of a lesson that is never taught enough.
 
And he said unto them, Set your heart unto all the words which I testify unto you this day, which you shall command your children to observe to do, even all the words of this law. For it is no vain thing for you; because it is your life...Deut 32:46-47.
 
Dene Ward

Silas is afraid of dogs.  Who can blame him?  Most are as big or nearly as big as he is and the ones that aren’t have an attitude that is.  Dogs have big mouths full of pointy teeth.  They roar—which is what barks and growls sound like to a small child.  They nip when they play—which doesn’t keep it from hurting.  And licking you is just a little too close to eating you.
              So when he first saw Chloe, Silas’s reaction was to try to climb me like a tree.  No amount of reassurance that she wouldn’t hurt him sufficed.  But by the second day of watching her run away from him, his fear subsided.  In fact, he was no longer sure she was a dog.  One morning as he sat perched on the truck tailgate eating a morning snack and watching her furtive over-the-shoulder glance as she slunk under the porch, he said, “I’m afraid of dogs but I’m not afraid of that!”
              Yes, he decided, some dogs should be feared, but at only 5, his little brain had processed the evidence correctly:  this was not one of those dogs and he would not waste any more time or energy on it.
              Too bad we can’t learn that lesson.  We are scared and anxious about the wrong things.  “Use your brain, people” Jesus did not say but strongly implied in Matthew 6.  “God clothes the flowers; He feeds the birds.  You see this every day of your lives.  Why can’t you figure out that He will do the same for you?”
              Instead we waste our time and energy worrying about not just our “daily bread,” but the bread for the weeks and months and years ahead as if we had some control over world economies, floods, earthquakes, storms, and wars that could steal it all in a moment, as if we had absolute knowledge that we would even be here to need it in the first place.  And the kingdom suffers for want of people who give it the time and service it deserves and needs.  “God has no hands but our hands,” we sing, and then expect someone else’s hands to pull the weight while we pamper ourselves and our families with luxuries and so-called future security.
              And the things we ought to fear?  We go out every day with no preparation for meeting the roaring lion that we know for certainty is out there.  He is not a “just in case” or “”if perhaps.”  He is there—every single day.  Yet we enter his territory untrained and in poor spiritual condition, weaponless, and without even a good pair of running shoes should that be our only hope.  Why?  Because we are afraid of the wrong things and careless about the things we should have a healthy fear for; not because the difference isn’t obvious, but because we haven’t used the logic that even a five-year-old can.
              And what did Jesus say to the people who were afraid of the wrong things?  “O ye of little faith.” 
              What are you afraid of this morning?
 
“Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread. But the LORD of hosts, him you shall honor as holy. Let him be your fear, and let him be your dread, Isa 8:12-13.
And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell, (Matt 10:28.
“Listen to me, you who know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law; fear not the reproach of man, nor be dismayed at their revilings. ​For the moth will eat them up like a garment, and the worm will eat them like wool; but my righteousness will be forever, and my salvation to all generations,” Isa 51:7-8.
​The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Ps 118:6.
 
Dene Ward

God makes it plain in the Old Testament exactly how He feels about human sacrifice, specifically sacrificing one’s children as a part of pagan idol worship.  It is “an abomination;” it “shall not be found among you;” it “defiles you;” it “pollutes the land;” it “did not even enter into [God’s] mind” to command such a thing” (Deut 12:31; 18:10; Ezek 20:31; Psa 106: 37,38; Jer 32:35).
              And I suppose most of us think we are past that—we would never participate in something so heinous; we would never be caught up in worshipping an idol to the point that our children no longer mattered to us.  Think again.
              How many people have sacrificed their children to their careers?  And don’t automatically jump to working mothers.  God holds fathers accountable as the spiritual leaders of their families, especially in raising their children (Eph 6:4).  Too many fathers delegate everything to the mother, expecting her to somehow communicate to his children that he loves them, even when he spends practically no time at all with them, when he regularly misses piano recitals, school programs, or ball games; when he has never drunk an imaginary cup of tea at a tea party; when he has never read a bedtime story; when he has never dried a tear or given a hug, changed a diaper or given a bath, helped with a science project or played catch.  Career-minded, status-conscious, money-grubbing parents need to give thought to what they are sacrificing.  When you chose to have children, you chose to sacrifice yourselves, not them.
              And we also have those who sacrifice their children on the altar of their own feelings and opinions.  The sermon hurt my feelings, the elders told me I had to change my lifestyle, this brother or that sister came and told me I needed to repent of my sins, so I won’t go back to that church ever again.  And guess what?  Your children miss growing up among godly people, attending Bible classes that would have helped you teach them about God, and at least hearing the gospel every Sunday, whether anything you did at home ever cemented it into their minds or not.  You may not have sacrificed them to Molech, the heathen god most often associated with child sacrifice, but you actually did worse—you sacrificed them to the maker of those “abominations”—Satan Himself.  He is the one who will swoop in and claim those young souls, who have now learned from you that God isn’t all that important after all.
              Then we have the big one, for on this day in 1973, in Roe vs Wade, the Supreme Court legalized abortion.  The blood of innocent children is being shed in the name of my body, my rights, and my choice.  Read what actually happens in an abortion and it will make you sick, especially late term abortions.  I am sure the numbers change, but as I write, 60,000,000 babies have been slaughtered, and that is not too harsh a word for it.  Abortion is nothing more than human sacrifice so I don’t have to bear the responsibility of my actions.  I, me, and mine are the biggest idols we have today, and precious souls are bearing the brunt of that pagan ritual to the idol of self.
              Interestingly enough, Norma McCovey, the original Jane Roe in this legal argument, changed her mind.  In her book, Won by Love, published in 1998, she writes:

I was sitting in O.R.'s offices when I noticed a fetal development poster. The progression was so obvious, the eyes were so sweet. It hurt my heart, just looking at them. I ran outside and finally, it dawned on me. 'Norma', I said to myself, 'They're right'. I had worked with pregnant women for years. I had been through three pregnancies and deliveries myself. I should have known. Yet something in that poster made me lose my breath. I kept seeing the picture of that tiny, 10-week-old embryo, and I said to myself, that's a baby! It's as if blinders just fell off my eyes and I suddenly understood the truth—that's a baby!
I felt crushed under the truth of this realization. I had to face up to the awful reality. Abortion wasn't about 'products of conception'. It wasn't about 'missed periods'. It was about children being killed in their mother's wombs. All those years I was wrong. Signing that affidavit, I was wrong. Working in an abortion clinic, I was wrong. No more of this first trimester, second trimester, third trimester stuff. Abortion—at any point—was wrong. It was so clear. Painfully clear.[3]

              While I am certainly thrilled for her change of heart, she had to live with the results of her actions for the rest of her life.  Her repentance on this matter did nothing to stop the continuing murder of children.
              Child sacrifice is alive and well in the world today, and too many of us are guilty in our own ways, too.
 
“Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord GOD: Will you defile yourselves after the manner of your fathers and go whoring after their detestable things? When you present your gifts and offer up your children in fire, you defile yourselves with all your idols to this day. And shall I be inquired of by you, O house of Israel? As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I will not be inquired of by you, Ezek 20:30-31.
 
Dene Ward