This year’s garden has made me even more aware that I am growing older.  The heat makes me woozier than ever before.  The bending over gives me a backache that lasts all day and usually into the night.  My hands no longer have the strength to win the tug of war with most weeds.  And I just plain wear out faster.  We have looked at one another and asked, “How much longer can we do this?”  It’s not the only time we ask that question.

           Will this be our last dog?  Will this one be our last car?  How much longer can we take care of this acreage with a shovel, a tiller, and a chainsaw?  We did, in fact, decide that our last camping trip was probably the “last.”  The drive is harder on us.  The set-up takes longer and longer and more and more energy.  We often wind up just sitting around the fire a whole day afterward to recover.  Then there is the pull down and the drive home, and the seemingly endless unpacking and putting up.  When we found ourselves dreading the next trip, we knew it was time to quit.

            And so I look at our work in the kingdom and think, “How much longer do we have?”  How many more classes will we be able to teach?  How many more “weekends” will I be able to travel and give to large groups of ladies?  And the more I wonder these things, the more I feel like screaming out, “You need to call while you can!  You need to come while I am still able to see my notes and talk!  You need to arrange your schedule and get here if you want anything I have left to give.”  Because I really do want to share it with you, and I never know what tomorrow will bring. 

           I know several other older women who feel exactly the same way.  None of us are getting any younger and it is precisely that problem that gives us so much to share with you—experience only comes with age, but age makes life precarious.
           
           Every day we are closer to the last, and before that, we are closer to an age when our service will become limited, when all we may be able to do is offer to someone younger an opportunity to serve an older brother or sister.  We will eventually become like Barzillai, the wealthy old man who supported David when Absalom rebelled.  As David headed back to the palace, he asked Barzillai to come with him so he could be honored for his loyalty and service in an appropriate way.  But Barzillai said to the king, “How many years have I still to live, that I should go up with the king to Jerusalem? I am this day eighty years old. Can I discern what is pleasant and what is not? Can your servant taste what he eats or what he drinks? Can I still listen to the voice of singing men and singing women? Why then should your servant be an added burden to my lord the king? 2Sam 19:34-35.  But even at 80 he had served as he could, even if all it amounted to was using his wealth and his servants to do for his king, rather than doing the serving himself. 

           It is said of David after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation he fell asleep, Acts 13:36.  As long as we are still alive, there is still a purpose of God to be served—we just have to use a little more creativity in finding it!

           And for those who are young and reading this, your time is running out too.  None of us really knows how long we have left.  “All things being equal” we say about the young outliving us, but in this life nothing is ever “equal.”  I have seen too many young people lose their lives to disease and accident to feel at all comfortable for you.  You need to make the most of your time too.  The purpose God has in mind for you may be a very short one.

           And so it is up to all of us to make the most of the time, to “redeem it” as Paul told the Ephesians.  Do not put off the spiritual things—Bible study, prayer, meditating, serving.  Do not think that “someday” you will be in an easier time of life, a time when you can become a better Christian, a better father or mother, a better husband or wife.  That time will never come unless you make it happen.

           The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Ps 90:10 

           It flies faster than you can ever imagine, and if you have not prepared yourself properly, eternity will last longer than you ever thought possible.
 
O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. Ps 71:17-18
 
Dene Ward

I remember visiting our children in Tampa once when Silas was still a toddler.  He was in the family room, around the corner through the kitchen. Instead of turning right through the kitchen, Keith headed straight ahead into the living room.  At 17 months, Silas finally seemed to recognize and remember us.  As soon as he heard his grandfather’s distinctive Arkansas drawl, he came running.  Deaf as he is, Keith didn’t hear him and kept going at first, while small towheaded Silas kept toddling behind, a huge grin on his face, until finally Granddad turned around and saw him.

            Have you ever followed anyone that way?  The people who followed Jesus did. And [Jesus and the apostles] went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. Mark 6:32,33. They dropped what they were doing and left their work and their homes because they recognized that what he was teaching was different, that he spoke “as one having authority,” yet with a compassion for them that none of their other religious leaders showed.  He drew crowds wherever he went, people so interested in hearing him that the practicality of it all didn’t daunt them.  They followed regardless the inconvenience and sacrifice, even of necessities–like food for the day—so he even met that need for them more than once.

            Would we recognize his voice if he were walking among us today?  Could we tell that though the things he said sounded different than “what we’d always heard,” (Matt 5) it was the simple truth?  In fact, what sort of traditions might he discredit among us?  Would we keep following him even though it angered our own leaders?  Would we follow when our social and economic lives were threatened?  Many of them were thrown out of the synagogues for their belief.

            If he walked among us today, would we follow everywhere as eagerly as Silas followed his granddad that afternoon, with a huge grin and an eager expression, hoping he would turn around and see us and welcome us into his open arms?  Or would we be so satisfied with where we are, or so caught up in things of this world that we would never even notice?
 
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand, John 10:27,28.
 
Dene Ward

I can’t really believe it.  I was going through all those painful physical therapy exercises you have to do to keep moving when you have injuries or surgeries, and to keep my mind off the pain and the endless repetitions, I flipped on a channel that runs only old shows, about the only kind I can stand to watch any longer.  On a defunct old program I suddenly heard something profound enough to catch my attention.  A character was complaining about his life and how bad he felt.  Another character looked at him and said, “If you want to feel better, take a pill.  If you want to BE better, face the truth about yourself.”

            I stopped mid-rep, losing count completely.  What was that I heard?  I repeated it to myself at least three times so I wouldn’t forget it—maybe—and it was weighty enough a thought that it did stay with me until I could write it down.  “This one I must use sometime,” I thought, and then suddenly realized that God has been using it for millennia, sort of.

            “Face the truth about yourself,” we say.  He says:

            Be not wise in your own eyes…Prov 3:7.

            There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death, Prov 16:25.
            Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart, Prov 21:2.
            There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth, Prov 30:12.
            He feeds on ashes, his deluded mind deceives him, he cannot rescue himself,,,Isa 44:20.
            Let no one deceive himself.  If anyone among you thinks he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise, 1 Cor 3:18.
            For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself, Gal 6:3.
            If anyone thinks he is religious but does not bridle his tongue and deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless, James 1:26.

            Your head should be spinning by now.  How many times have I deceived myself into ignoring rebukes and shunning well-intentioned advice?  And then, when it all falls apart and I am left hurt and weeping, did I ever once stop and think over that advice and those rebukes again and think maybe—just maybe—I should have listened?  Maybe—just maybe—I am not as astute as I seem to think I am.  Oh, I say the right words (“I am not perfect”), but when the fruit reveals itself in my actions, everyone knows I cannot be reasoned with because “My case is different.”  So many people think themselves the exception to the rule that you wonder why God bothered to write a guidebook for us—it doesn’t apply to anyone!  Oh wait, I know why!  For ME to correct everyone else.

            A rebuke should make me stop and consider, not stomp and smolder.  Yes, that is still difficult.  I am not sure it ever becomes easy.  But those scriptures up there say that if I do not consider, the vengeance I wreak with my answering anger to the one who cared enough to try, will only destroy me.

            “If you want to feel better, take a pill.  If you want to BE better, face the truth about yourself.”
 
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. Jas 1:22-25
 
Dene Ward

I have been a Star Trek fan since Captain Kirk sat on the bridge of the first USS Enterprise—the first Starship Enterprise, that is—on September 8, 1966 (our time).  I wasn’t even a teenager then and didn’t realize until years later how ahead of its time it was, nor that the strongest episodes were really parables.  Remember the two aliens who had faces half black and half white, and who hated one another because one had the black half on the right side and the other’s black half was on the left?  Our biases make just as much sense, that episode taught us.

            The show worked for me because of the characters and their relationships with each other.  If it had been all about gizmos and explosions, I would have lost interest quickly.  I knew who they were, their backgrounds, their likes and dislikes, and their pet phrases.  When Star Trek: The Next Generation came along, the producers really hit the jackpot and this time people were ready for it.  It’s a shame that the television movers and shakers still looked down their noses.  Patrick Stewart deserved a couple of Emmys. 
Brent Spiner deserved even more.

            Get a couple of Trekkies together and they will talk for hours about favorite characters and episodes.  To them these people are almost real.  And they will spot the discrepancies between episodes or movies in an instant.  When Scottie showed up on TNG, having survived in a continuous transporter buffer pattern for 75 years, and thought Jim Kirk was still alive, my antenna twitched.  You see, in Star Trek: Generations, the movie that put Capt Kirk and Capt Picard together for the first and only time, Scottie saw Jim Kirk die.  He would not have expected to be saved by him.  The producers should have caught that.

            I’m sure you are already getting the point.  When we are really interested in something, we will spend hours on it.  We will take it in and remember it.  We will catch on to every detail, no matter how trivial and useless.  Why, who is to say it’s useless?  Have you noticed that no fictional character will sneeze or cough unless he’s doomed to a virus that affects the plot?  And everyone knows that the previously unknown character in the red shirt will soon be zapped by the alien.

            Doesn’t it strike you as odd that people who claim to be children of God know so little about His word?  That people who call themselves disciples of Christ have a problem remembering the main events of his life?  Forget about the details.  (Quick!  Name Jesus’ brothers.  How about his cousins?  Name all eleven of the Simons/Simeons in the Bible.  Which apostles were known by at least three names?)

            As people of God we should be interested in Him.  We ought to want nothing more than to know His will and do it.  We should be able to talk about it for hours and look for every opportunity to learn even more.  I know people who can list Erica Kane’s husbands in order, or recite the starting lineups for all their favorite pro teams, including stats and colleges.  Some of these people are Christians whose Bible knowledge wouldn’t fill a thimble.

            Trekkies are called that for a reason.  They know that James T Kirk was (will be?) born on March 22, 2228, in Riverside, Iowa.  They know that Spock’s full name is S’chn T’gai Spock.  They can even speak a few words of Klingon, a language that doesn’t even exist! NUQ DAQ YUJ DA’POL = “Where’s the chocolate?” a phrase everyone should know, whether Klingon or Terran!

            Christians are called that for a reason as well.  Do you fit the description?
 
But the LORD sits enthroned forever; he has established his throne for justice, and he judges the world with righteousness; he judges the peoples with uprightness. The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you, Psa 9:7-10.
 
Dene Ward

Saul/Paul of Tarsus Yesterday at 8:00 am:
            Hoo boy! Time for another day among people who don’t even care about God.  Why did this mission get put off on me?

Saul/Paul of Tarsus Yesterday at 12 pm
            Well, we got run out of another synagogue.  On to the next town, but I haven’t had a decent meal in three days.  And can anyone please find me the nearest Stella-cerva coffee bar?

Saul/Paul of Tarsus Yesterday at 3 pm
            Did you hear what Proditor of Seleucia did to us?  How can he claim to be on our side and speak out against us like that?  It’s hard enough what we must bear without a traitor among us.  No one understands what it is like to have this job and what it demands of you.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus Yesterday at 5 pm
           The government and everyone in it is corrupt.  I can tell you a few things I heard when I was in prison.  The guards talked to one another all the time and all we prisoners overheard everything.  One time…(See more)

Saul/Paul of Tarsus Yesterday at 7 pm
            Here is more proof of what I have been saying about those Roman senators.  Go to this link to see for yourself: http:Allpoliticiansshould(bleep).  (Sorry about all the foul language you have to navigate, but this is really good.)

Saul/Paul of Tarsus Yesterday at 9 pm
            The end of another long day and little to show for it.  I am not sure I can take much more of this.  Surely twelve hours a day is enough to give to this thankless task.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 12 hrs ago
            Here we go again.  And I had little sleep because John needed some counseling at 2 am.  Seems he is not sure he can handle any more.  What a wimp.  So now I have to write two epistles and get together a new synagogue sermon on little if any sleep at all because of his selfish waste of my time.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 10 hrs ago
            Now what?  Have you all heard the latest from Corinth?  Can’t these immature brats get anything right?  It’s not about me, me, me, people.  In fact, maybe the few of you who are on my side need to head across town and start a new congregation.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 8 hrs ago
            What?  No comments on that last one?  Surely you see how wrong they are.  If you do, let me hear from you!

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 6 hrs ago
            Oh, so now I am being too harsh?   True believers won’t let something like this pass without comment.  If you are real Christians, copy and paste this to your page.  We’ll find out who is truly faithful to God.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 5 hrs ago
           Here’s a fun pic of me and the guys taking a quick dip down at the river.  We’d already gotten wet baptizing people, so we just chucked the robes and had a good time.  Everyone deserves some fun! : )

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 4 hrs ago
            Here I am trying to spread the Word as hard as I possibly can and all I get is criticism.  Really people.  Someone find me an Stella-cerva coffee bar ASAP!  I won’t get through this ordeal without one.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 3 hrs ago
            All right.  I’ve had it.  I am a Roman citizen.  I do not deserve to be treated the way they are treating me.  Everyone meet me at the agora at dawn tomorrow and we will show this government exactly what we think of it.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 2 hrs ago
            I am so tired.  No one has to put up with the things I have to put up with.  Can’t you all take care of yourselves for a change?  Do you really expect love and encouragement from someone who has so little and has sacrificed so much?  It’s not fair!

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 1 hr ago--
          Was that really necessary Peter?  After all, you are a Gentile-hating hypocrite.  Keep your criticisms to yourself.

Saul/Paul of Tarsus 30 min
            Nearing the end of another 12 hour day and I did not accomplish a thing.  Does anyone have any idea why?
 
            If there had been such a thing as social media in the first century, Paul would never have used it in those ways.  So why do I see these sorts of things from people I know are Christians?  Why do I see whining and “poor little me?”  Why do I see diatribes against brothers and sisters?  Why do I see posts designed to cause an uproar, and the writers then sitting there all day to gloat over it?  Why do I see people railing against the government they are supposed to obey and respect whether they agree with it or not?  Why do I see pictures of Christians in scanty clothing, doing questionable activities and passing along items with crude and vulgar language on nearly every line?  And why do I see idlers who cannot seem to get anything profitable done because they are posting all day long?

            If Paul were alive, how would he use social media?  Just look at his epistles, the social media of his day.  He edified.  He encouraged.  He counseled.  He commended brothers and sisters to one another.  Yes he did rebuke, sometimes harshly, but even then with the design to save souls not to exalt himself.  Yes, he did talk about some of his ordeals, but the percentage was minuscule and always with the purpose to teach and admonish.  Yes, he did ask for prayers, not because he deserved them but so he could continue to preach the gospel.  Yes, he did pass along personal information and requests (“Bring me the parchments,” etc.), but always with a humble attitude, not as a petty tyrant abusing his authority.  He never for a minute sowed discord among brothers.  Instead he told us all to do as he did:  be willing to take wrong for the good of the gospel.  His sacrifices were willingly given and never resented.  He knew others sacrificed as well and never put himself above them, even though he probably could have.

            So maybe we should consider this:  If Paul wouldn’t post it, maybe we shouldn’t either.
 
Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no occasion of stumbling, either to Jews, or to Greeks, or to the church of God: even as I also please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of the many, that they may be saved. 1Cor 10:31-33
 
Dene Ward

I thought we had gotten past this.  A few years ago I even saw an article or two on the subject, but I guess not everyone read them.  So just the other day I saw someone make a comment to a godly, single woman in her late 20s that it was up to her to change her marital status and it was the only way for her to actually reach full maturity and understand responsibility in her life.  I know that young woman fairly well and I know she is probably more mature than the person who made that comment, no matter how long she has been married nor how many children she has.    

In the first place, how is it “up to her” to get married?  That kind of thinking is the reason so many young Christian women “settle,” winding up in inappropriate marriages to ungodly men, sometimes even abusive men.  Young ladies—it is far more dangerous to your soul to marry the wrong man than it is to stay unmarried.  Period.

And as for maturity?  I have seen so much whining on Facebook from young mothers who suddenly find they have to sacrifice for their children—give up some sleep, give up some “me time,” even give up their daily Starbucks--that I would be careful about tossing that accusation around lest it be thrown back in my face with evidence that would shame me.

The only thing the scriptures require of you is to be a servant of God and you can do that regardless of your marital status.  Paul, in fact, seemed to believe you might even be a better servant if you stayed unmarried.  1 Corinthians 7 gets skimmed over to the point that all anyone sees is his admonition to stay single “for this present distress.”  That is not all he says about staying single.  “To the unmarried and widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am,” (v8) comes several paragraphs before “the present distress” even enters the discussion.

Jesus also said that marriage was not a requirement to be his disciple.  For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.  Matt 19:12.  No, women are not “eunuchs,” but then Jesus is speaking figuratively in that last clause—some people choose not to marry for the kingdom’s sake, including women.

The scriptures show us several women who made that decision.  Anna did get married as a young woman—but she became a widow after only 7 years, which means she might have been as young as 21, according to the marriage customs of the day, and then she chose to remain single for the rest of her long life.  She used that time to serve at the Temple.

You need to understand one thing before we look at these other women.  Women in the Bible are often identified as “the wife of” someone, not because a woman has no identity without a husband, but for the sake of identification.  There were at least 7 Marys in the New Testament.  How are you going to tell them apart without last names?  So we have Mary the wife of Cleophas.  We have Mary the mother of Mark.  We have Mary Magdalene, meaning she was from the village of Magdala. 

And we have Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus.  Never is a husband mentioned.  In fact, Luke tells us that the house where they lived was “Martha’s house” (10:38).  Understand this:  Jewish women did not inherit their husbands’ estate—the sons did.  That means Martha was wealthy enough on her own to have her own home.  And she used her home to house her family and open it to the Lord and his disciples.  It must have been a large, well-appointed house.
And that brings me to the Mary who allowed the church to meet in her home when Peter and James were thrown into prison (Acts 12:12), probably another widow who chose not to remarry.  Then there is Nympha who allowed the church in Laodicea to meet in her home (Col 3:15).  And let’s not forget the obvious—Lydia, who immediately upon her conversion insisted that Paul and Silas stay in her home, another case where no husband is in the picture.  Understand this—all three of these women put themselves in danger of persecution when they did this, but their conviction and commitment to the Lord went all the way.  Where is the “immaturity and lack of responsibility” in that?

We tell church members that they are responsible for what they do, that they cannot blame it on “the decision of the elders.”  It is up to me to know what they are doing and speak up if I think they are doing something sinful.  We tell our young people that they must develop their own faith, that they cannot get into Heaven on their parents’ coattails.  Guess what?  Wives must have their own faith too.  So why would anyone think that a single woman, or man for that matter, cannot have his or her own faith?  Why would we think that having a spouse is necessary to please God?

I know plenty of young single people—and some not so young any more—who are living full and godly lives, spending time in the Word, serving the church and their community.  That is what God will judge them on. 

…Each shall receive his own reward according to his own labor, 1 Cor 3:8.

[God} who will render to every man according to his works, Rom 2:6.

…And the dead were judged…according to their works, Rev 20:12.

Did you see a spouse in there anywhere?  Neither did I.  It is up to you what you do with your life.  Not being married does not make you a second class citizen of the kingdom.

I have nothing against marriage.  I have been married for almost 42 years.  My husband has helped me become a better Christian.  But don’t let anyone push you into marriage.  Don’t “settle” for someone who won’t make you a better servant of the Lord.
 
But I would have you to be free from cares. He that is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married is careful for the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and is divided. So also the woman that is unmarried and the virgin is careful for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married is careful for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1Cor 7:32-34
 
Dene Ward