I can remember my daddy uttering those very words every time we pulled up to what was then called a “service station,” a glassed-in office with two service bays and usually two gas islands, sporting regular, premium and mid-grade pumps, the older models rounded on the top and the newer ones square-cornered and squat.  An attendant came out of one of the bays, called to us by the double-ding of the bell hoses we ran over with both front and rear tires, usually wiping his hands with a greasy blue rag, and did the honors while we sat in the car waiting.  He also checked the water in the radiator and battery, and cleaned the windshields.  When the pump kicked off, he carefully finished filling the tank and then bent his head to the open window to tell us the amount we owed.  If we paid cash, he brought back change.  If we used our gas company credit card, he took it and ran it, bringing back a dark blue clipboard with slip attached and a pen for a signature.

We never left the car, never lifted a finger.  It was all done for us.  Maybe that’s why we seem to expect God to “fill ‘er up” without having to make any effort at all ourselves.  Maybe that’s what we’re thinking when we sit in our pews on Sunday morning—we’re expecting the teachers, songleaders, and preachers to “fill ‘her up.” 

“I didn’t get anything out of services this morning,” we say, as if that were the only purpose to our being there, to allow others to wait on us just like an attendant at an old-fashioned service station; as if that were the only possible way to fill oneself up spiritually.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled, Matt 5:6.  Do we really think that righteousness can be poured in like gasoline, that we can sit passively while it happens?

John tells us, Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, 1 John 3:7.  Being filled with righteousness has far more to do with what I do anywhere else besides a church building than it does with listening to a sermon and expecting to walk away holy because of it.

God also expects us to fill ourselves with knowledge.  Anyone who thinks that comes from osmosis on Sunday mornings as we doze in our pews or play with the babies in front of us had better not apply for a school teaching job any time soon. You won’t keep it long.

Paul says, And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God, Colossians 1:9-10.  Becoming knowledgeable takes work far above and beyond listening to a couple hours a week of sermons and Bible classes.  Making it stick means applying what you learn, “bearing fruit” as you put that knowledge into practice.

But others have the problem of which tank to use.  They seem satisfied with “regular.”  My daddy worked for Gulf Oil so we always went to Gulf stations.  “Regular” was called “Good Gulf” and premium was called “Gulftane,” a play on the fact that the octane was higher.  A soul created in the image of God requires nothing less than premium.

I read a book once in which the writer was at a loss to know how to refill herself after giving so much to marriage, children, and society.  Her problem was thinking she could do it herself, with things that have no eternal existence and purpose.  She was trying to fill up on “regular.”   Christians know better.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope, Romans 15:13.

“Fill ‘er up,” we used to say to the gas attendant.  Far more important, we should say it to God, and then do our part as He fills us to the brim.  It’s the only way to keep your life from running on empty.

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God, Philippians 1:9-11.

Dene Ward

            
Here in north Florida we don’t look at the calendar to tell the season.  We generally have about 5 months of summer, nearly 3 months each of spring and fall, and 4 -6 weeks of winter.  
              
Since I moved to the country I have noticed that each season has its own feel and smell.  About the first week of October the morning air becomes crisp and dry, for Florida anyway, and I know fall has arrived.  It may leave a week later, but we know that by the first of November it is generally here to stay.  
             
Then shortly before the holiday season I will be greeted by the smell of wood fires and a damp cold that seeps into your bones. I lived in Illinois for two years so I know what below zero weather is like, but even up there you could quickly run the trash out in your shirtsleeves at 45 degrees. Down here that same temperature will set your teeth chattering in just a few short minutes. It’s  winter!  
              
Sometime around Valentine’s Day the warm sunshine on your back spreads
like a soothing ointment, and soon the air is heavy with the perfume of azaleas, dogwoods, gardenias, wisteria and the first roses of the year. Rakes scratch the ground and black plastic bags stack up in every yard.  The acrid smell of burning leaves fills the air and the spring green of new leaves lights up the sky.  Jack Frost may paint your garden one more time in March, but spring has definitely sprung!  
              
By the first of May a wet morning fog drips on until about 10, and the flower smells have mellowed into the watermelon smell of new-mown grass.  Just standing outside for ten minutes will leave your hair damp with both humidity and perspiration. The long, hot summer has begun.
             
It has taken awhile but now I relish every change of season. I used to wish away the long, humid summers precisely because they were that way. Then when my children started school, I wished away the rest of the year because the summer was the only time I had them to myself. But I spent the first part of my life wishing it away as well.  I couldn’t wait to start school.  Then I couldn’t wait for college.  Then I couldn’t wait to get married.  Then I couldn’t wait to
have children.  And now what? I have an empty nest and my life is well over half over.  Is that why we say that middle age brings wisdom?  Why did it take so long for me to figure this out?
             
God wants us to enjoy our lives. Yes, we suffer trials and even some minor persecution. But as much as is possible he expects us to live well and laugh
well.  1 Pet 3:10 …love life and see good days.  Psa 118:24, This is the day which Jehovah has made; rejoice and be glad in it. Eccl 3:11, He has made everything beautiful in its time, also he has set eternity in their hearts. Eccl  5:18, Behold that which I have seen to be good and comely is for one to eat and to drink and to enjoy good in all his labor wherein he labors under the sun, all the days of his life which God has given him, for this is his portion. Finally, I have learned to take joy in every day.
             
If you are still young, don’t wish your life away. It may seem that your children will never grow up, that you will never have time for yourself and your spouse again, that everything you really want is somewhere out there in the future. 
Take a minute and look around. God wants you to enjoy the present. If you cannot learn that now, then when those future things come along, you won’t know how to enjoy them either. I have seen so many who are never satisfied with what they have, and who ruin the time they have left looking for something better.  Learn to be happy and content because one of these days you may find yourself wishing you had back all those days you wished away in the first place. 

He that would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.  For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears unto their supplication.  But the face of the Lord is upon those who do evil, 1 Pet 3:10-12.
 
Dene Ward


 

May I just make a small observation from years of experience on both sides of the equation?  When you are suffering, when you are broken-hearted, when you are in pain and anguish or full of fear, someone who loves you will inevitably make an insensitive comment, a tactless comment, a mind-numbingly stupid comment.  Do you think they do it because they don’t love you any more?  No, just the opposite—they do it because they hate to see you in such pain, because they want more than anything to comfort you, and in that love and zeal they don’t know what to say, so the wrong thing pops out.

I can make you a list of things NOT to say in various circumstances.  Why?  Because I have had them said to me in an assortment of painful circumstances in the past several decades.  You are not the only one who has been left with a hanging jaw and a shaking head.  And second, I can make that list because I have said a few myself.  I have friends who have miscarried, who have lost spouses early, who have lost children to accident or disease, whose marriage has fallen apart, who have been the one to discover a mate’s suicide, who have suffered the pain of a horrible disease and its ultimate end, and probably every time I have said something I wished I hadn’t.  I try to remember those times when someone says something similar to me—they love me as much as I loved my friends or they would never have tried.  They would have simply walked away.

And so I will never make one of those lists that regularly make the rounds—“What Not to Say When…”  In fact, I am getting a little fed up with them.  Those lists seem to imply that the person hearing those words has never said anything dumb themselves, that they would automatically do better.  Pardon my skepticism.  I have known some wise people in my many years, but none of them has ever managed to be perfect in their choice of words every time.  I doubt that anyone in their twenties or thirties or even forties has either.  Should we be willing to learn better?  Yes.  But most of what I have heard has come in a scathing, sarcastic tone meant more to lash out than help someone else learn.

God expects me to act like a Christian no matter what I am going through.  Did Jesus bark at His disciples the night before His death, a death He knew would be so horrible that He “sweat drops as blood”?  Did He browbeat the women weeping before the cross while He hung there in agony?  If anyone could have been excused for snapping back, it would have been Him, but the example He left was one of grace under pressure. 

As His disciple I must still be longsuffering, no matter what I am going through.  I must “forbear in love.”  I must “bear all things, believe all things, and hope all things.”  Certainly I must be willing to say, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do,” if the thing they do comes out of a heart full of love.  It is difficult when, as the Psalmist said, My days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread. Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh. I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, like an owl of the waste places; I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop, (102:3-7).  I have been there.  On those days, it is difficult to put up with other people’s blunders.  It is, in fact, difficult to deal with people at all.  I am ashamed of my failures and so grateful to my caring friends and family who still showed me their love, even when I didn’t show mine and probably made them wonder why they kept bothering to try.  But I am not going to excuse myself because of my despair by attacking them with a scornful list of their failures.

God does not put in an exception clause for when we are hurting.  Like His Son, we must still exercise self-control and love, graciously accepting the comfort that those who care sometimes ham-handedly give.  Even afflictions that have nothing to do with suffering for His name can test us as much as persecution can, just in how we handle them.  Isn’t that, in fact, the real test?  Pain is never an excuse for sin.

For hereunto were you called: because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow his steps: who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered threatened not; but committed himself to him that judges righteously: 1 Peter 2:21-23.

Dene Ward

If there is one thing Keith taught our sons, it is how to work.  Living on five acres with a huge garden, several animals, and a wood-burning stove for heat, but only rakes, shovels, hoes, a wheelbarrow, and a push mower to work with—no, it was not self-propelled, and we had no tractors or other power equipment—meant they had chores that had to be done or the family suffered.  They certainly did not appreciate the lesson then, but they have thanked him several times since they left home and entered the work force.  More than once their bosses have told me, “I wish I had a store full of your boys.”

Lucas, my older son, spent some time in management with a large grocery chain.  He often laments the workers he has to deal with, who have no sense of responsibility, showing up late or not at all, who never anticipate needs, never see what needs doing on their own, or who simply lollygag around with no sense of urgency or efficiency.  The saddest ones, he says, are the young ones who really want to do a good job, but whose parents have never taught them how, either by assigning chores, or actually expecting them to be done well and on time.  The ones who irritate him the most are the ones who think showing up and clocking in means they are working, even if all they do is stand in the halls and talk.

God has called us to work in his vineyard.  I am sure he is patient with those who need to learn how to work.  But some treat their job in the vineyard as an entitlement that precludes any notion of actual labor.  As long as they clock in (submit in baptism, show up on Sunday morning—choose your application), they are “earning” their paycheck.  We have forgotten that the only “wages” we can earn is death.  Eternal life is a precious gift, and how we work in the vineyard is directly proportionate to our gratitude for it.  Am I standing in the halls talking, or am I wearing myself out laboring for the Lord?

Let us therefore labor to enter in that rest, that no man fall after the same example of disobedience.  Heb 4:11

Dene Ward

Being married to a law enforcement officer who is also a certified firearms instructor means you get free shooting lessons—whether you want them or not.  I have learned many things, and used them—just ask the snake community in this area.  I am sure they know all about the crazy lady who shoots till they quit wiggling.

I also learned that even handguns, especially big handguns like Keith’s .45 magnum (think Matt Dillon) can have a kick. I haven’t dared try it because of my experience with his smaller .357 revolver.  I am a pianist.  Good pianists use their wrists like shock absorbers—they go down as you approach the keyboard and pull up the instant the key has been struck.  That is what creates a smooth, warm tone rather than a harsh, jarring one.  A loose wrist is a must for pianists, but is not good when you are shooting a big gun.  For one thing, the recoil on a loose wrist hurts; for another you nearly give yourself a black eye with the barrel as it swings back at you.  I simply cannot seem to keep a stiff arm when shooting!

That may not be something you need to worry about since most of you are not pianists.  But a basic rule for everyone is:  if you want to hit the target, you have to aim at it first.  You would be surprised how many do not aim correctly—it’s all about sight alignment.  But even that presupposes that one has the sense to aim at the target.

Unfortunately, many of us do not have that kind of sense when we attempt to become better people.  An old saying goes, “Aim at nothing and that’s what you will hit every time.”  We go around “trying to get better,” or “trying to do better,” but we will never be better till we can answer the question, “Better at what?”  Unfortunately, that means we have to ditch the pride and actually list our faults—specifically, not generally.  And when we mess up, we must be willing to acknowledge it.

I have heard this statement all my life, usually from people who have been Christians a long time:  “If I have done anything wrong, then I’m sorry.”  That’s supposed to be a confession?  What that is, is someone who knows better than to claim perfection, but who thinks he has it anyway! 

Here is my chore today:  make a list of my faults and weaknesses--specific problems I have.  It may be obvious things like lying, gossiping, drinking, or losing my temper.  But it might also be things like being oversensitive, assuming the worst about people, holding a grudge and trying to get even—treating people the way they treat me.  Whatever I list, pray about them, find some scriptures that deal with them, and meditate on those.  At the end of the day, make an honest assessment of how I did and [probably] pray for forgiveness.  Keep at it every day.  Make a note of the particular circumstances that cause me to fail.  When I see them beginning, get away if I can.  If it is impossible, immediately slow down and think before every word or action.  And always remember:  The Lord is at hand [right next to me], Phil 4:5.

That is a lot to do, especially every day.  But remember—the only way to hit a target is to aim at it.  God bless us all as we try to become what He would have us be.

Wherefore also we make it our aim, whether at home or absent, to be well-pleasing unto him.  For we must all be made manifest before the judgment-seat of Christ; that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether it is good or evil.  2 Cor 5:9.10

Dene Ward

I am a technophobe.  I hate all these new contraptions.  Whenever something goes wrong and I have to fiddle with them, I get so worried about it that I get sick to my stomach.  I have absolutely no aptitude for them.  You want to know how hopeless I am?  I even managed to delete the whole Bible from a Bible study program once.     

I recently had a run-in with my TV.  Somehow the thing decided to take the picture and squish it in from the sides, elongating all the faces in the process.  To make up for that, it chopped off the tops of heads and the bottoms of chins.  I tried to fix it myself.  A good friend told me there was nothing I could do that could not be undone.  She had not reckoned with anyone like me.  I hit a button I did not mean to hit and the whole picture disappeared.  So I hit it again to undo it, right?  Wrong!  All I got was a baby blue box telling me there was no signal.

“No signal?” I said aloud to my television.  “If you are so smart, tell me something I can’t figure out myself!” I hate it when a machine riles me to the point that I actually talk out loud to it.    

After several frantic hours, my good friend arranged a conference call between the tech support people and the two of us.  (I don’t like to talk with them.  There is no way I can hide the fact that I am an idiot.)  We got my picture back, but it took sliding a lever that I was warned never to touch, and never had—I promise!  Like I said, I can really mess things up.

During all of this I learned that I have an amazing TV.  It can let me watch several channels at once.  It can take messages for me.  It can lull me to sleep and then turn itself off.  I never knew all that.  But you know what I want?  I want a TV with an on/off switch, a channel changing knob, and a volume knob.  I want a TV you can buy off the rack, take home, plug in and watch.  Period.  Well, maybe I wouldn’t mind if it brought me a cup of coffee every morning.  But do they make a TV like that?  Of course not.

I have issues with my computer too.  I want it to type and print, and I have gotten attached to the email function, as well.  But that is all I want.  It infuriates me when it tells me that I cannot do what I want to do.  Then when it tells me I am doing something illegal, I really get angry.  I guess there is a reason Keith keeps his hammer in the shed.

But now that I think about it, we do the same thing to God.  How many times do we hear, or even make the statement ourselves, “I don’t think God would mind this.”  “I think God will understand.”  Or the even more arrogant and judgmental, “I can’t believe God would let this happen,” as if we had a right to approve or disapprove God’s actions.

What would you do if you changed the channel one day, and the TV flipped it to another?  After several tries, the baby blue box pops on the screen saying, “You cannot watch that other show.  I like this one better.”

What would you do if you tried to delete a file on your computer, and the “save” box kept coming up instead?  After several tries that gray box pops up and says, “I don’t want to delete this.  I like it.  Hit the save button.”

Aren’t we glad God doesn’t have a hammer handy?  Not that he couldn’t just create one out of thin air, which emphasizes the point.  He is patient, when many times we do not deserve it.  I need to take note of my aggravation with the aggravating machines in my life, and make sure I am no longer an aggravating creation to him. 

He says it, I do it.  Period. 

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, 2 Pet 3:9.

Dene Ward

 For twenty-two years on this rural five acres we didn’t have a carport.  For over two decades our vehicles were at the mercy of sub-tropical sun, thunder and lightning, hail, hurricanes, and once even an inch of snow.  Not once were the cars or trucks we owned damaged during that time.

Seven years ago we had a slab poured and a carport erected.  “Whew!” we sighed with relief.  “Now we’re safe.”

The next summer we were expecting guests and since the forecast called for a few showers, we moved the car out so the children would have a dry place to play.  Everyone left and we went inside to clean up.  When we came back outside to move the car back into the carport, a tree limb had fallen and put a dent in the trunk—a big one, and knocked off a half dollar size chunk of paint too.  All those years we were concerned and careful, nothing happened.  As soon as we thought we were safe, we weren’t.

One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless, Proverbs 14:16.  How careful are you out there in the world?  Do you heed the warnings about evil companions corrupting good morals, and the Devil as a roaring lion hunting his prey (1 Cor 15:53; 1 Pet 5:9)?  Or are you so confident in your own righteousness that you are careless, moving away from the safety of the “carport?”

How many times has a parent sent his child out with all the usual cautions only to have that child sigh and roll his eyes and say something like, “Yes, yes, I know,” shaking his head as he goes out the door?  I don’t care how well your life has gone until now, how safe and smart you think you are, one bad decision can ruin everything for a lifetime.  Keep it under the carport!

How many times has a happily married man, supremely confident of his self-control, seen someone attractive, flirted a little “just for fun,” and wound up doing exactly what he never thought he ever would?  No matter how strong you think you are, don’t dally with the Devil—keep it under the carport!

How many times has a Christian stepped over the line “just this once,” “to see what I’m missing,” or “so I know what I’m up against,” meaning to return immediately to the fold, but never making that return trip because that little fling cost him his life?  Life isn’t certain—keep it under the carport!

You think I’m crazy don’t you, just because a limb fell on my car.  The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice, Prov 12:15.

And if coming from me isn’t good enough—and really, why should it be?—then how about God?  By the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil, Prov 16:6.  My flesh trembles for fear of you, and I am afraid of your judgments, Psa 119:120.  Job said if he had done anything wrong, then let my shoulder blade fall from my shoulder, and let my arm be broken from its socket. For I was in terror of calamity from God, and I could not have faced his majesty. 31:22-23. If no one else can do it, then let God put the fear in you—keep it under the carport!

We wear seat belts every time because we never know when we will have an accident.  We get our inoculations because we never know when we might be exposed to a disease.  We have smoke alarms in our homes because we never know when a fire might break out.  We do all these things because it’s common sense.  So are the things God’s Word tells us about how to stay out of the clutches of sin and the Devil. 

You’d better believe that from now on, my car will stay under the carport!  How about your soul?

For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "There is peace and security," then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. 1 Thessalonians 5:2-3

Dene Ward

People always call places like Tennessee and North Carolina “God’s Country,” but no one says anything like that about rural north central Florida.  All we have is swaths of lacy Spanish moss dripping off huge, ancient live oaks, whose wingspan is broader then my house, tall pencil-slim pines standing like silent rows of soldiers in the woods, knobby-kneed cypresses wading in the swamps whose heavy silence is punctuated only by the plop of bullfrogs in the water, rolling green pasture land dotted with grazing black Angus, and always something green and always something blooming, no matter what time of year it is.  Even in January the birds flock by the dozens around my feeders, the resident hawk couple circles overhead screaming hello as they look for nesting sites, and by February, when everyone else is still in the throes of winter, the hummingbirds are back, and the azaleas flowering so heavily you can’t see a single green leaf.  Not too bad for a place no one calls “God’s Country.”

But neither here nor any of those other places compare to the real “God’s country.”  God promised Abraham a land He later described to Moses as a good land and a large...a land flowing with milk and honey, Ex 3:8.  Abraham’s descendants waited over 400 years for that Promised Land., but even Abraham knew that the real Promised Land was still to come. That is why he could endure, stay faithful, and even pass the horrible test of offering his son. 

Paul had to scold the Corinthians more than once for having “carnal” minds.  Not carnal in the sense of illicit pleasures, but carnal in that they were more concerned with this life and the physical aspects of it than in spiritual things.  Only carnally minded people become jealous for showy spiritual gifts, sue one another, brag about who baptized them, and bring enough to feed an army for their family’s Lord’s Supper, just so they can show off.  Too often we, too, get caught up in the here and now and forget that this is merely a short motel stop on the way to a far better and permanent home.

Today would have been the 91st birthday of a man who understood that.  I first met him a week before I married his son.  He never lived in a fancy home or had an expensive car.  He often worked two jobs to keep his family fed.  He landed on the shores of Northern France in June 1944 and marched all the way to Berlin.  He buried a ten year old daughter who had been stricken with a horrible disease.  But he would have told you he lived a good life because he knew the physical doesn’t last.  His eyes were focused elsewhere, and nothing that happened here could get him down. 

We should all learn what he knew:  no place on this earth should mean more to us, no person should come between us, and no thing should ever deter us from our journey to God’s Country. 

By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed to go out unto a place which he was to receive for an inheritance, and he went out, not knowing where he went.  By faith he became a sojourner in the land of promise as in a land not his own, dwelling in tents, with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise, for he looked for the city which has the foundations, whose builder and maker is God…they desire a better country, that is a heavenly one, wherefore God is not ashamed of them to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.  Hebrews 11:8-10, 16.

Dene Ward

Not long before my first grandchild arrived in this world I told my daughter-in-law, “One day after he is born, maybe a week, maybe a month, and maybe more than once, you are going to sit down and bawl your eyes out.  You won’t know why and you will think, ‘What’s wrong with me?  This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, and here I am crying.’ 

“There is nothing wrong with you.  You are simply exhausted and overwhelmed.  You have carried a child nine months, you haven’t slept enough, not only since he was born, but for awhile before that because you were so uncomfortable.  You haven’t sat down except to feed him.  Yes, you love him with a ferocity you have never felt before, but he is one demanding little creature, and you will wonder, ‘What in the world was I thinking?’ which only adds to the guilt you feel.  If you don’t suddenly burst into tears a few times, you aren’t normal, and it doesn’t mean you are a bad mother.  In fact, it probably means just the opposite.”

I told her all that because I wished someone had told me when I sat down and burst into tears one afternoon long ago.  We do our brothers and sisters no favors by pretending that life is one big fairy tale.  Instead, we seem to bottle up our own emotions and deny they ever existed, while telling them to “Shape up!”

God put us here to help one another, and it is no help at all to act like we never had these problems.  Babies do not lie down and go to sleep when you need them to.  One word “fitly spoken” will not unravel a tangled conflict.  Sometimes spouses are inconsiderate and unkind and have no interest in talking about the problem and fixing it.  We have lived too long with sitcoms that solve all difficulties in less than thirty minutes and Lifetime movies that depict one intervention mending a twenty year rift in a relationship.  In real life it doesn’t happen that way.

We once spent an hour with a man who thought himself “the dream husband,” trying to get him to see that his actions were nothing more than abusive control.  The hour ended with him in tears, determined to be better.  The next morning he was again blaming his wife for her lack of gratitude for all his “care.”  That is real life.  Problems that took years to develop will not disappear in a minute, or an hour, or even a week. 

Our children learn nothing when we hide our disagreements.  Keith’s parents once said, “We never argue.”  When he was finally old enough to figure things out, he answered, “That’s because you both clammed up and walked away, not because you never got mad at each other.”  Children need to see how to resolve conflicts in a godly manner, or even how to apologize when the manner was less than godly. 

When a young person struggles with sin and we tell him he never truly repented, when someone who is seriously ill becomes depressed and we say, “Where’s your faith?” when another is beset by tragedy and in her grief asks, “Why?” and all we can do is scold, we have failed them.  A brother is born for adversity, Prov 17:17.  When I do not comfort my brother in that adversity, when I am too proud to share the wisdom that has come from mistakes I have made, I have not fulfilled my purpose for being.

It’s time we older Christians stopped endorsing fairy tales.  It’s time we told it like it is.  Life can be hard and it doesn’t necessarily mean you are at fault. Even when you are at fault, it doesn’t mean you are worse than anyone else, no matter what image others try to present.  Older Christians must realistically prepare the younger for life, and comfort them during their trials.  Job said that when we do not comfort those who need it our very relationship with God is in peril, 6:14,15. 

God told Ezekiel, Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel… and say to them…The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought…therefore you shepherds hear the word of the Lord…I am against the shepherds and I will require my sheep at their hands…Ezek 34:2,4,7,10.  He feels the same way about older Christians who present unrealistic expectations to the younger and then do not comfort and console when difficulties arise.

I must stop pretending I am completely put together so I can help those whose lives are falling apart.

Dene Ward

It’s just beginning to bloom again, covered with buds as thick as deep pile carpeting…

Six years ago we planted a jasmine vine.  I had always wanted one twining up a trellis by the side of my porch, but being married to a man with allergies made that impossible.  That summer, though, he wanted to do anything and everything for me, at least the small things we could afford, so he bought me a jasmine vine.  It is not by the porch—I wouldn’t let him suffer just for my sake--so it is next to the drive about seventy-five feet away from the house. 

He built one lollapalooza of a trellis out of a cow panel and an antenna mast.  It stands about fifteen feet in the air.  In just two years that dark green vine has grown up and over the top and this time of year is covered with tiny, white blossoms.  And the fragrance!  When the wind is right, you can smell it fifty feet away.  I would know it was there whether I could see it or not—which one day may be important.

I think I would like to be like a jasmine—vines trailing out everywhere, winding in and out of the squares of its “trellis,” covered in beautiful blooms, and sending out a sweet smell that tells everyone it is there, even when they cannot otherwise see it.  But when I look in “the mirror” I am a long way from that ideal, much pruning and fertilizing still to be done. 

If I am going to effect others I need to involve myself with them, whether it is convenient or not.  If I am to present a beautiful picture to them, I need to follow in the footsteps of my Savior, who served others to the ultimate degree.  If I am to influence those who do not know me, I must influence those who do by an example of love, longsuffering, and faith that continues on even in the face of trials. 

The only way to accomplish all of that is to constantly fill myself with His word, to talk with Him often, to make others the center of my life rather than myself, to watch that tongue of mine!  I must give with no thought of reciprocity from others; give of myself, of my time, of my labor, of my care and consideration, regardless of what others may do. 

The more I look at this, the more I think I will never make it.  But God has made a jasmine vine, a gift from a man who can hardly tolerate them due to the physical discomfort they cause him, yet who gave it nevertheless.  That is my inspiration.  Every time I walk past it, its sweet fragrance reminds me to pray for help and, in praying, have faith that I will receive.

I will heal their backsliding; I will love them freely, for my anger is turned away from them.  I will be as the dew unto Israel; he shall blossom as the lily and cast forth his roots as Lebanon.  His branches shall spread and his beauty shall be as the olive-tree, and his smell as Lebanon.  They that dwell under his shadow shall return; they shall revive as the grain and blossom as the vine; the scent of it shall be as the wine of Lebanon…Who is wise that he may understand these things?  Prudent that he may know them?  For the ways of Jehovah are right, and the just shall walk in them; but transgressors shall fall therein.  Hosea 14:4-7,9

Dene Ward