My mother came from a family of long-lived women.  Her grandmother was well into her 80s when she passed away, and her own mother was 97.  When Mama reached 87 with no signs of stopping, we decided that, due to our own health problems, we needed to move her closer than two hours away so we could care for her as we ought.  But even then, there were issues.  Our home is way out in the country, nearly an hour from her doctors and the hospital.  We have steps she could no longer negotiate and her walker would not even fit through our doors.  Then there is the issue of independence; she wanted to live on her own for as long as she possibly could, and we wanted to honor that wish.
            At first she bought her own little house in the city and managed that for a year and a half.  Then we moved her up a step to an independent living facility.  They provided meals and housekeeping for a nice little apartment as long as she could get back and forth to the dining room and take care of all her other needs.  And ultimately, we had to go the assisted living route.  Gainesville has a couple of very nice ones and she was very happy there until her death last year at the age of 91.
            One thing I noticed, and it was not just those last few years.  No matter where she lived, she managed to find the friendless, the outcasts, the ones who were "different" in some way that meant everyone else ignored or even shunned them, and she befriended them.  (Even in churches, mind you.)  She looked after them.  She defended them.  She made sure they had someone to sit by at meals, talk to during the day, and share their troubles with.  She could tell me more details about the lives of more people than I thought she even knew within two weeks of moving somewhere, and because we were now able to see her three or four times a week, this really became noticeable.
            My mother was a good woman, generous with her time and her talents, given to hospitality, always feeding visitors, college students, and friends.  I was never embarrassed to ask someone from church to spend Sunday afternoon with me, or even a whole weekend.  I knew the food would be plenteous and delicious, and the welcome warm.  If someone needed a home for a wedding or baby shower, she offered, even making and decorating the cake which was always elaborate and creative.  She sewed for people, sometimes just mending, but other times the whole outfit.  Whenever she went shopping, if something caught her eye, it was seldom for herself.  It was always that person or this person "would love that," and she picked it up, usually for no reason at all except she saw it and thought of them.  But once I began to really notice this habit of hers to gravitate to the social misfits, I thought to myself, "This is what it really means to be Christlike."
            What did Isaiah say about the Messiah?   The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; ​to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified. (Isa 61:1-3)
            And whom did Jesus seek out?  Not the wealthy, not the powerful, not the popular, not the "in-crowd," but a bunch of poor, "unlearned" fishermen, the hated publicans, the sinners who lived on the edge of a society that was happy to use and then discard them, a Samaritan woman who herself was an outcast among outcasts, those with demons, those with illnesses which were considered signs of sin.  He gave them a champion who saw them and their pain rather than leaders who considered them beneath their notice.  He fulfilled his mission "...to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, " (Luke 4:18) and "A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory. " (Matt 12:20).
            Today, examine your heart.  Who do you gravitate toward?  Who do you run to and why?  Our Lord actively looked for the outsiders just as we should search for the ones who come in among us and leave quietly because they are so sure no one even cares if they are there at all.  No one should come in among the people of God and feel like that.  What will you do about it today?
 
And Jesus perceiving it withdrew from thence: and many followed him; and he healed them all, and charged them that they should not make him known: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken through Isaiah the prophet, saying, Behold, my servant whom I have chosen; My beloved in whom my soul is well pleased: I will put my Spirit upon him, And he shall declare judgment to the Gentiles. He shall not strive, nor cry aloud; Neither shall any one hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall he not break, And smoking flax shall he not quench, Till he send forth judgment unto victory. And in his name shall the Gentiles hope  (Matt 12:15-21).
 
Dene Ward
           

I hope and pray that someday soon this one will matter once again in our lives.

When I was a child we often visited friends and family, all the kids sleeping in the living room floor on piles of quilts.  It was fun because it was different and exciting, and not one of us complained.  Dinner was never fancy because none of us were wealthy, but all my aunts could cook as well as my mother and we knew it would be good whatever it was.  We practiced the hospitality shown in the Bible to our families, to our neighbors, and to our brothers and sisters in the Lord.  What has happened to us?
            Even if we aren’t particularly wealthy, we have fallen for the nonsense that because we cannot offer what the wealthy offer, we should offer nothing at all.  How do we excuse it?  I don’t have a spare room.  I don’t have a bathroom for every bedroom.  The spare room I do have is too small.  The bathroom is too tiny.  My grocery budget is too small and my time too little for cooking.  I work.  I have an infant in the house who still wakes up at night.  And the perennial favorite, “You know, times are different now.” 
            Not so much, folks.  Lydia worked, yet she made Paul and Silas an offer they couldn’t refuse—she told them they would be insulting her faith if they did not stay with her.  Unless I am reading something into it that isn’t there, Priscilla worked right alongside her husband, “for they were tentmakers.”  Yet Paul didn’t stay with them for just a night or two—he lived with them for a good while.  Abraham was a very busy man—he had more employees than some towns in that day had citizens, yet he not only offered hospitality, he actively looked for people who might need it.
            “But they had servants!” some whine.  If you don’t think your modern conveniences fill the place of servants, you have never thought about what it took back then to cook—they started with the animals on the hoof, people!  Their cooking involved building a fire from scratch, sometimes in the heat of the day.  And here we sit with the meat already butchered in our electric refrigerators, ready to put in our gas or electric ovens.  We clean with our vacuum cleaners, pick up ready-made floral arrangements at the grocery store, make sure the automatic shower cleaner and the stuck-on toilet cleaner are still in service, and stop at the bakery for the bread. Then, when it’s all done, we put the dirty dishes in our dishwashers, and we do it all in our air conditioned homes.
            Part of the problem may also be the expectations of guests these days.  It isn’t just that people are no longer hospitable—it’s that people are spoiled and self-indulgent.  They don’t want to sleep on a sofa.  They don’t want to share a bathroom with a couple of kids.  They will not eat what is offered.  We aren’t talking about health situations like diabetes and deadly allergies.  We are talking about people who care more about their figures than their fellowship; people who were never taught to graciously accept what was placed in front of them, even knowing it was the best their hosts could afford, because, “I won’t touch_______________,” (fill in the blank). 
            We once ate with a hard-working farm family who had invited us and two preachers over for dinner.  Dinner was inexpensive fare--they had five children and had invited us six to share their meal.  Later that evening, when we had left their home, we heard those two preachers making fun of what of they had been served and laughing about it.  I hope those poor people never got wind of it. 
            When we raise our children to act in similarly ungracious ways, when we consider them too precious to sleep on a pallet on the floor, as if their royal hides could feel a minuscule pea beneath all those quilts, what can we expect?  Do you think it doesn’t happen?  We once had a guest who told me she had rather not sleep where I put her.  It was the only place I had left to put her.  I already had four other guests when she had shown up at my door unannounced.  She was more than welcome—I have taken in unexpected guests many times--but where were this one’s manners?
            Do you know how many times we have been told, “Do you know how far it is out there?” when we invited someone thirty miles out in the country to our home for a meal.  Excuse me?  Of course we know how far it is—we drive it back and forth at least three times a week just to the church building, not counting other appointments.
            This matter of hospitality worries me.  It tells me we have become self-indulgent and materialistic when it comes both to offering it and accepting it.  God commands us to Show hospitality to one another without grumbling, 1 Pet 4:9.  What has happened to the enjoyment of one another’s company, the encouragement garnered by sharing conversation and bumping elbows congenially in close quarters, and the love nurtured by putting our feet under the same table, by opening not only our homes but our hearts? 
            What has happened to the joy of a pallet on the floor?
 
One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul. And after she was baptized, and her household as well, she urged us, saying, “If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay.” And she prevailed upon us, Acts 16:14,15.
 
Dene Ward

Today I have a short observation to share with you.  We all know that “it is more blessed to give than to receive,” but no one is going to be blessed if there is no one out there ready to receive!  It should go without saying that I am not talking about people who go around with their hands held out, but I learned a long time ago that anything that should go without saying probably needs to be said anyway, so consider it said.  Now to today’s point…
            I know a lot of older folks who have given and given and given their entire lives.  They have served their sick, hurting, sorrowing brethren in every capacity you can imagine.  That person may very well be you. 
            And now I hear people ask you, “Is there anything I can do for you?”  I know what you are going to say because I have said it too:  “No.  We’re fine.”  A lot of times we aren’t fine, we’re just too proud to accept help, or we have the mistaken notion that patience and humility involve sitting quietly in the background without complaint, even when we are in desperate need.  If we do ask for something it’s only, “If it isn’t any trouble.”
            Brothers and sisters!  God expects us to sacrifice for one another.  He expects us to generously give to those in need and serve those who are afflicted.  Indeed, He expects me to go to a lot of trouble for you—it doesn’t count as serving and sacrifice if it isn’t trouble.  I can’t do that if you won’t let me.  You can’t do that if I won’t let you.
            When people ask what they can do for you, tell them!  It may go against your grain to accept help, but you need to get off your high horse and let God bless those givers by your willingness to receive.  In fact, it may be more than your physical needs they are meeting.  It may be exactly what you need spiritually—a recognition that you actually need someone else’s help.
            Your turn to help will come again.  It has already come, again and again for years, which may be the reason you find it so hard to turn the tables and accept it now that you need the help.  Accept it, not just gratefully, but graciously too.  This is, in fact, another way you can give to others—both the pleasure of helping someone and the blessing God promises to the givers.  You are denying them a blessing with your stubborn refusal to admit you need help.
            May I just paraphrase 1 Cor 12?  “If all the world were givers, where would the receivers be?  If all the world were receivers, where would the givers be?”  It happens to us all sooner or later.  When your turn comes, be generous enough to allow others the same blessings you have been receiving as a giver for years.
 
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith, Gal 6:9,10.
 
Dene Ward

While I was still teaching I had some wonderful voice students, even way out here in the sticks.  I had a beautiful young blonde who could hit high C with little effort at all.  I had an older teenage girl whose voice was as full and lovely as a twenty-something--my first ever win at NATS (National Association of Teachers of Singing).  I had another whom I taught practically her whole childhood—from kindergarten to senior in high school.  If ever there was a natural at Musical Theater it was her.  I can still hear her perfect cockney accent as Eliza Doolittle.  Then there was Sondra.
            Sondra was a beauty with black ringlets and clear, pale skin.  But Sondra was from Union County, Florida.  This is not the metropolitan Florida that so many know from DisneyWorld and Miami Beach.  This is Deep South, Florida Cracker, Southern Redneck, Union County, and when she talked you heard every bit of it.  But her voice?  She could sing Italian arias and German lieder and American art songs like they were meant to be sung.  And despite her country upbringing, she loved every one of them.
            Her very first year with me she made it to finals at State Contest.  Since the students were all participating in more than one event and had to fit them in their schedule as they could, the judges could not go by the computer-generated list.  The students simply signed up ahead of time on a paper at the door, guessing when they thought they could be at each particular event.  That meant the judges had to be careful to know exactly who they were judging, so they could find the name on their alphabetical list.  Sondra had signed up first for that event and when her name was called she walked before the panel of judges and I sat down at the piano, which was slanted away from the judges, but a bit toward her.  As they had asked her to, she told them her name and the name of her song.
            "Mah nay-eme is Sawndra an' ah will be singing 'Mah How-oose' by Leonard Bern-steen," and say that with a wide mouth and an accent as slow and countrified as you can.  I watched the judging panel as they each began to lower their heads and look down at their judging sheet.  I couldn't tell if they were smiling or grimacing, but I knew exactly what they were thinking:  This one doesn't have a chance.  How did she ever make it to State? 
After that I had to turn my attention to the piano so I did not get to see the judges' reactions when she began to sing, but one of my other students told me that as soon as the first note came out of Sondra's mouth, the judges all got whiplash as they jerked their heads up and sat there in amazement.  Yes, Sondra was a country girl and no, she could not pronounce Leonard Bernstein correctly no matter how many times I corrected her, but man, could she sing!  Sondra won State Contest.
            Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment.  (John 7:24).
             Lucky for Sondra, she had a panel of righteous judges.  They refused to be swayed by a whale of an accent, but rather, when the evidence was placed before them, saw—and heard--what was clearly the best voice in the state that year, at that level.  By Sondra's senior year in high school, other people could finally see it, too.  She was invited to perform a presentation of four songs in the county's Stellar Student Concert Series.
          Don't ever think that you are not prone to "unrighteous judgment."  Keith has been banned from a couple of pulpits because he is "loud and everyone thinks you are mad."  I want to grab them by the collar, give them a good shake and say, "He's loud because he is deaf.  Where is your compassion?"  I know a marvelous Bible class teacher.  The first time I heard him, I had to pinch myself to stay awake a few times, but by the time he finished, I realized that I had heard possibly the best lesson of my life.  This man knows his stuff and he leaves you thinking about passages in new and exciting ways.  But because his delivery is dry, I have heard people call him the worst teacher they ever heard.  Over the years, with Keith's encouragement, he has improved his methods, but still, few can get past that first impression from so many years ago.  How fair is that judgment?
            And how about those folks who walk into your assemblies not dressed up to your standards?  Could I just make one suggestion?  Watch and listen with an open mind.  If they sing the songs like they know them, and their children know the Bible class lesson as well as the teachers do, and if the parents make comments in Bible class that make you stop and say, "Hmmm," don't embarrass yourself by assuming they are drifters who just hoped to get some money out of you.  If you have been with me for years and years, you know my story on that one.
            And if you have been unfairly judged yourself, do yourself a favor and let it go.  If the circumstances had been reversed, would you have done any better?  Be honest with yourself and then get on with your life.  Letting a perceived unfairness color your attitudes from then on will make you more miserable than the ones you harbor resentment against.  Someday, sooner than you want to think, you will stand before the righteous Judge of all, and He will be fairer than you really want Him to be.  But He will also offer far more grace than any human you ever have to deal with in this life.
          Just keep doing your best and remember this:  Regardless of what anyone else may think about you, someday, that righteous Judge will look at you and say, "Well done."
 
And there shall come forth a shoot out of the stock of Jesse, and a branch out of his roots shall bear fruit. And the Spirit of Jehovah shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of Jehovah. And his delight shall be in the fear of Jehovah; and he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither decide after the hearing of his ears; but with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth; and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked. And righteousness shall be the girdle of his waist, and faithfulness the girdle of his loins.  (Isa 11:1-5).
 
Dene Ward
 
 

“What do you think about the role of women in the church?”
            The subject is a minefield.  No one seems to be able to keep their own prejudices and sore spots out of it.  Women are quick to point out the failings of men as if that undoes the dictates of God.  Men are quick to pontificate about the worst of women, even straying into women in the work force and the evils of abortion as if that had anything to do with the issue.  Not a few pat themselves on the back about how well they treat women and why would any woman want anything more than their wonderful selves?  (Am I not better to thee than seven sons? Elkanah asked Hannah.)  Everyone wants to add the “what ifs” and invent artificial boundaries that the scriptures never speak of.  And we think the Pharisees were ridiculous with their traditions. 
            But I am asked—often.  So here is, not what I think, but what it seems obvious that the Bible says.
            Do women have a leadership role as Christians?  Yes.  “Children obey your parents” Eph 6:1, obviously includes mothers who, last I checked, were all women. 
           The older women are to “train the younger,” Titus 2:4.  When I teach my Bible classes, I have control of the students.  I am the one who directs the discussion and sets its boundaries in time and content.  I am the one responsible for correction if error is spoken.   Sounds like leadership to me.
Women are to “rule the household” 1 Tim 5:14.  A lot of men completely miss that one.  It means she has a domain and he has no business micromanaging her in it unless she is doing a poor job of stewarding his provision for the family.
            On the other hand, whenever the church is talked about as an assembled group, things are much different.  Women are specifically told to “learn quietly with all submissiveness” 1 Tim 2:11.  As to the command in 1 Cor 14 that women are to “be silent,” we need to recognize the context and pull out every other time that two word phrase is used in that same context before we make blanket statements about women not opening their mouths until the “amen” has been said.  But that does not undo 1 Timothy 2 in any way.
            I could go on about Paul’s statement that a woman is not “to teach nor have dominion over a man.”  I could talk about parsing the sentence.  I could just bypass that and go to the obvious point that the preposition “over” has to go with both “teach” and “have dominion” or else the Bible contradicts itself.  Priscilla obviously helped teach Apollos and if all teaching is forbidden to women then that includes teaching children and women (which we have already seen is commanded) and singing (“teaching and admonishing yourselves in songs…”—the Greek word is the same in both passages) and you know what?  Everyone would have to completely ignore all godly women because their example teaches even if they never open their mouths.  But don’t you see?  There is something much more basic going on when we take issue with the scriptures.
            Whenever I hear women trying to sidestep 1 Tim 2:11, when I hear them rationalizing about their talents and how God wouldn’t want them wasted, when I hear them talking about Paul as if he were not an inspired apostle, when I hear them listing the failings of the men in their group (as if they had none) and dreaming up everything they can possibly think of that might make an exception, I think of Psalm 119:97:  Oh how I love your law, it is my meditation all the day.  When I try to weasel my way out of God’s commands, when I try to avoid them in any way possible, what does that say about how I feel about them?  Doesn’t much sound like "loving His law" to me.
            God is my Lord, not the other way around.  He has told us exactly how He wants things to be done.  I have no business telling Him that my way is better or that He ought to accept my way because I did it with a good heart.  I have no business railing against Him about why He gave me a certain talent if He won’t let me use it the way I want to use it.  I remember a few men in the Old Testament who learned that lesson the hard way.   Ladies, God will treat you equally.  Isn’t that what you want?  Or is it?
            If I love the law of God, if He is my Lord, I will not try to worm my way out of His commands, no matter how many men or Pharisaical Christians abuse them.  THAT is my answer to the question.
 
I am your servant; give me understanding, that I may know your testimonies! It is time for the LORD to act, for your law has been broken. Therefore I love your commandments above gold, above fine gold. Therefore I consider all your precepts to be right; I hate every false way.  Ps 119:125-128
 
Dene Ward

Then Shemaiah the prophet came to Rehoboam and to the princes of Judah, who had gathered at Jerusalem because of Shishak, and said to them, “Thus says the LORD, ‘You abandoned me, so I have abandoned you to the hand of Shishak.’” Then the princes of Israel and the king humbled themselves and said, “The LORD is righteous.” When the LORD saw that they humbled themselves, the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah: “They have humbled themselves. I will not destroy them, but I will grant them some deliverance, and my wrath shall not be poured out on Jerusalem by the hand of Shishak. Nevertheless, they shall be servants to him, that they may know my service and the service of the kingdoms of the countries,.” 2Chr 12:5-8.
            It’s easy, when you find yourself in a trying situation, to make excuses for your behavior; to say, “Woe is me,” and expect everyone to sympathize with you and pat you on the back, not just occasionally or even often, but almost as if it were a daily penance on their part because you have to deal with the difficult and they don’t—at least in your mind.
            “Why is this happening to me?” can become a mantra if you aren’t careful.  Maybe God, in the passage above, answers that question.
            Judah repented when they learned the consequences of their disobedience and God repented their destruction.  But He did not stop their servitude to the king of Egypt.  “This way they will learn how to serve me,” he told the prophet.
            Did you ever think that maybe that “unjust” master (boss) was there to teach you service?  Or that difficult spouse? 
            Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly, 1Pet 2:18-19.
            Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct, 1Pet 3:1-2.
            Did you ever think that maybe that obnoxious neighbor or ornery brother in the Lord might be there to teach you patience and forbearance?
            Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing, 1Pet 3:9.
In fact, doesn’t God expect us to use every situation, whether blessing or trial to improve as His servant?  The sufferings we endure are meant to be opportunities for growth, not merit badges on a boastful sash.
            Suffering does not make us exempt to the call to service.  People in all situations of life have been serving God as hard as they can for as long as they can, whether rich or poor, sick or healthy, hungry or full, old or young, even in slavery, for thousands of years.  The place God puts us is the test of our faith.  Will you pass the test? 
 
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you, 1Pet 5:10.
 
Dene Ward

Sometimes people give what they consider the perfect advice, only to discover that their perfect scenario doesn't work everywhere.  I take one medication that is thinning my hair rapidly.  Yesterday I read an article on how to take care of your hair so that you can fight that problem.  Among several do's and don'ts in the list was this:  don't blow-dry your hair all the way, leave it a little damp.  Immediately my head started shaking "No!"  I was blessed with a headful of thick, naturally curly, black hair.  Unfortunately, that goes along with this word:  frizzy. If my hair is not blown dry completely I look like I am wearing a Brillo pad on top of my head or, in the words of an old Phyllis Diller joke (yes, I am old), I stuck a wet toe in a hot socket.  So I completely ignored that advice.  It hurt no one but my hair to do so.
            When Covid began its ugly reign, we had a similar problem.  Wearing a mask was everyone's handy-dandy solution.  Not in this house.  When one of you is deaf and needs to read lips, it simply won't work.  And then there is the issue of claustrophobia I have had my whole life.  Warm stale air equals suffocation to my mind.  HOWEVER…
            When we go out, when we buy groceries, when we have a doctor appointment, when we assemble with the saints, if we are asked to wear a mask, we do.  Some people think that makes us "sheep."  Why would we act this way?  It's simple if you read your New Testament.
            When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!  (1Cor 6:1-8).
            No, masks have nothing to do with suing one another—at least that I have heard of yet.  (But give it time.)  The passage is not really about that.  The prohibition against making lawsuits against a brother is just one specific example of ceding my rights because the mission of the church and its reputation in the community around it is more important than anyone's rights!  It is the Lord's church and the mission He gave that body of believers that matter.  Notice what Paul says:  "Why not rather suffer wrong?"  When I demand my rights about anything to the ill effect of the cause of Christ, I have forgotten not only who I serve, but the very definition of being a disciple—following in your Master's footsteps.  What if he had claimed his rights as Creator instead of climbing up on that cross?  Where would we be then?  He suffered wrong, and was defrauded, to save us.
            Paul goes on to say in that passage above, that when I claim my rights regardless of the consequences, I am actually defrauding my brethren because of how I have made that group of people look to the outsiders around us.  I am the one who has wronged them.
            When I do wear a mask, I am being the follower of the Suffering Servant, who, by the way, was called the Lamb of God.  If voluntarily wearing a mask makes me one of His lambs, I am happy to be called a "sheep."
 
A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. (Matt 10:24-25).
 
For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.  (1Pet 2:21-24).
 
​To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.  (Luke 6:29).
 
Dene Ward
 

 I have been contemplating this post for over a year now.  Not that it was so difficult to compile; after all, I have made practically every mistake on this list.  (And I am making number 7 right now.)  The problem has been organizing them into something readable due to the sheer volume, especially if I try to comment on each one.  Just call me a Windmill Tilter.
            I am assuming that anyone caring to read this is a Christian so I will forgo the obvious things like speaking kindly.  Like not calling people or the things they believe "stupid," and similar sentiments.  I am assuming we all know that even when we disagree, especially publicly, it is far better, and even commanded, that we be kind and speak with words that will provoke healthy discussions rather than irate reactions.  So I won't even go there more than this brief paragraph.
            However, someone has said that if we all "just speak like Christians" none of these problems below would arise.  I don't believe that's true.  In the first place, Facebook is an open forum—at least until someone gives you a reason to block him, and that will always be after the damage has been done, damage you really had nothing to do with at all.  But since the troll caused the problem on your post, your name will forever be linked with something ugly.      
             And second, what one might say to a close friend might not be how he says it to a mere acquaintance, yet nothing "un-Christian" has been said.  (More on this below.)  So let's be careful about making unfair judgments.  "Where there's smoke there's fire," may be true, but there is a world of difference between a cozy fire in my fireplace and arson.
            So here goes:  Mistakes We Often Make on Facebook
           
           1.  Forgetting that hundreds, maybe thousands, of people, many you do not even know, will see your posts.  Whenever a friend comments on your post, it might very well show up on all his friends' newsfeeds with the heading "So-and-so commented (or liked or reacted to) this post."  Multiply the number of friends you have by the number of friends they each have and the number is staggering.  In addition, your employers, or your spouse's employers, or places you have applied to for work or enrollment can also see your posts.  Be careful what you say, how you say it, and the private information and photos, especially of your children, that you put out there. (Sexual predators drool over these innocents and sometimes have enough information to take action.)
Discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, (Prov 2:11).
 
          2.  Forgetting that there is no tone of voice or natural face expression on Facebook.  Those emoticons don't cover all the bases either.  What you say tongue-in-cheek is usually the opposite of what you mean, but someone out there—maybe several someones—will take you seriously and be horrified.  And most will not question you personally, but spread what they think you believe or the character they think you have shown to your reputation's possible great harm.  When the Onion and Babylon Bee, both of which are known to be satire, are taken seriously, you can be sure it will happen to you, too.  Unfortunately, even warning people at the outset seems to do no good, because people do not read everything.  We have created a culture that loathes anything requiring more than a thirty second attention span so they just skim right past your warning.
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.  (Col 4:6).
           
            3.  Thinking you need to comment on everything.  You don't.  It's sort of like regular conversation—if you have something pertinent, helpful and encouraging to say, then do.  Otherwise, be quiet.
And I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.  (Matt 12:36).
 
            4.  Failure to stop and think first.   The immediacy of Facebook may be its biggest danger.  It's so easy to just type in a gut reaction and hit enter before considering the possible fall-out.  I have seen some wonderful people, who would never had allowed their frustration to show in person, say some truly hurtful things on Facebook.  Please re-read #1-3.
A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.  (Prov 18:6).
 
           5.  Inserting yourself into a conversation in which you do not belong.  If someone particularly asks "older people" for advice, if I see something harmful to a good person's reputation, or if I see something dangerous (especially as a retired law enforcement officer's wife), I will put in my two cents' worth.  But when young mothers thirty to forty years younger than I are sharing experiences, I usually bow out.  It would be completely irrelevant to today's culture, and look like an old gray head who just wanted some attention.  And never, ever, pontificate about something serious that you have never experienced.  "I would do this if it were me," is not true.  Frankly, you have no idea what you would do since it has never happened to you before.
The tongue of the wise utters knowledge aright; But the mouth of fools pours out folly.  (Prov 15:2).
 
          6.  Whining about the trivial—because compared to the rest of the world, most of our issues are trivial.  When all people see of you is this constant whining, they believe you must be a weak, spoiled, ungrateful, overgrown baby.  No one wants to hear it after the first hundred posts, and really, you do not want people to think that of you because it is probably not true!  Here is the test.  Go to your personal page and read all of your posts (not direct posts to your timeline, but YOUR posts) one after the other.  Pretend they are posts of someone you do not know.  What is the pervading image that those posts leave?  Does it sound like a whiner, a big grump, a materialistic drama queen, a self-righteous prig?  I guarantee you, if you are honest with yourself, you will be more than a little embarrassed.
She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. ​Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  (Prov 31:17, 25-26).
 
          7.  Thinking you can actually change someone's mind in a Facebook discussion.  If you just enjoy a debate, then OK, provided you are careful of all the other things we have discussed, like who might see your comments and any damage they might do to a weak soul.  But don't be so naïve that it affects you emotionally when people ignore or disagree with your carefully reasoned out comments.  Our culture has reached the point where most people make decisions based upon emotions rather than logic and data.  If these things weaken you spiritually, scroll right on by.
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.  (Prov 20:3).
 
          8.  Failure to use the delete button.  If someone posts something inappropriate, delete it from your newsfeed and tell Facebook why when they ask.  If someone makes an unkind or ugly comment on one of your posts, delete it.  If they persist, unfriend them.  Would you continue to call that person a friend out in the world, face to face?  In fact, if you are going to post at all, it becomes your responsibility to monitor your posts and keep them clean and beneficial to others.
Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather even reprove them; for the things which are done by them in secret it is a shame even to speak of.  (Eph 5:11-12).
 
            9.  Ganging up on those who make spiteful comments or disagree in an unpleasant manner.  I have seen it again and again.  Someone posts a perfectly innocent comment or observation and someone else comes in with something that can only be described as hostile.  So what happens?  Others come rushing in to put this miscreant in his place.  Bullying is a pretty good description of what goes on as each "defender of the righteous" verbally assaults the one who dared say anything "mean" to their friend.  No one seems to get the obvious—that this poor soul is somehow damaged, probably by mistreatment himself or an emotional crisis he is presently going through, or he would never have reacted in such an antagonistic way.  Will "taking him down a peg" fix the problem?  No, it will not.  It will only add credence to what he already believes about "so-called Christians," as he would define them.  Our Lord certainly did nothing of the kind and taught us to follow his example, showing kindness to our enemies.  How can you ever hope to reach the soul of a person to whom you have returned exactly as you received?   Your best chance is by treating him kindly, not ganging up and throwing stones.
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ​bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. (Luke 6:27-28).
 
 
          10.  Thinking you always have to bring up the opposite side of a discussion "to add a little balance".  The one posting thought that particular side of the issue was the one that needed addressing the most at that particular time.  When you begin your, "Yes, but…," the people who might have benefited from his point, will now feel perfectly comfortable ignoring it.  You may have undone a lot of good that could have been done because you decided that it was your job to set things right.  Would you have done the same thing to the apostle Paul when he said, "Being therefore justified by his blood?"  Would you have run in and added everything he left out of that verse?  Would you have done it to Jesus when he quoted Hosea saying, "I desire mercy and not sacrifice," when everyone knows the Law certainly did require sacrifice?  The practice of bringing up only one side of an issue for emphasis is perfectly Biblical and the wise will understand that and allow it to work.
 
For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.  (Gal 6:3).
 
           If I sat here long enough I could come up with a dozen more, or perhaps they would all be variations of #1-3.  I have been on the wrong side of too many of these things, and I imagine you have seen yourself staring back at you on at least one point.  I hope this helps us all to remember who we follow—especially on Facebook.  Social media can be a good tool, but it can also be a tool of the Devil.
 
That no advantage may be gained over us by Satan: for we are not ignorant of his devices.  (2Cor 2:11).
 
Dene Ward

While the Catholic Church will tell you that the first Pope was Peter and he reigned in the first century, church historians will tell you otherwise.  In the first place, the New Testament never calls Peter a Pope.  In fact, he seems to put himself on exactly the same plane as every other elder (bishop, pastor, presbyter) in 1 Peter 5:1:  The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed…
            So who exactly was the first Pope?  Well, it might amaze you to know that all bishops were called "popes" in the beginning, from the Latin Papa or "Father."  But the first Bishop of Rome to take that title in the way we think of today was Leo I, "the Great," who ascended to the papacy on September 29, 440 (Philip Schaff, History of the Christian Church, vol 3, p 315).
            But do you know what?  A lot of us also use faulty information when we just repeat what we have heard for years without checking it out.  Are you still using the old argument, “Reverend is only found once in the Bible and it refers to God, so men should not be called reverend?”  If so, you need to shelve that one.  It is a specious argument based totally on an accident of the King James translation.  The word is only translated “reverend” once in that version.  The Holy Spirit originally used the Hebrew in Psalm 111:9.  That word is yare, and it is used by the Spirit over 300 times in the original Hebrew Scriptures.  Some of them refer to men, including righteous men like David.
            But in Matthew 23:8-12, Jesus gives us the same concept.  Be not called Rabbi; for one is your teacher and you are all brethren.  And call no man your father on the earth, for one is your Father, even he who is in Heaven.  Neither be called masters for one is your master, even the Christ.  But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant, and whosever shall exalt himself shall be humbled, and whosoever shall humble himself shall be exalted.
            Now some people do call their earthly father, “Father,” and there is nothing wrong with that.  The point, you see, is not the word, but setting someone up as better than his brethren by the use of a [capitalized] Title, be it Father, Holy Father, Reverend, Most Reverend, Most Right Reverend—you get the point.  The New Testament has no concept of laity and clergy at all.  To be quite honest about this, it is even possible to misuse the word “brother” in the same way, by applying it only to people we consider to be worthy of it due to their knowledge or role in the church.  Jesus said in that quote above, “You are all brethren.” 
            Let’s take this a step farther.  I have an aunt and uncle who both have doctoral degrees in chemistry.  They both taught at a prestigious university and one was even head of the department for many years before retirement.  You know what?  No one in the family calls them “Dr. Ayers.”  They would be insulted.  They accept the title only in the realm of academia, but never in the family circle.            
            The church is our spiritual family circle.  We were all born again, raised to walk with Christ as a new creature, and when that happened, we were all “created” equal.  Just as my aunt and uncle would not want anyone in the physical family to use their academic titles, I don’t think I know a true brother or sister in the Lord who would ever expect the family to use their earthly titles except in the worldly realm in which they apply.  As Jesus so clearly explained in Matthew 23:  whoever shall exalt himself shall be humbled, and whoever shall humble himself shall be exalted.
            One of the greatest Bible students I know has a high school education.  But he has studied so hard for so long on his own, and has developed such great insight, that I would sit at his feet to learn at any opportunity.  Others, who sport more letters after their names than if they spilled a bowl of alphabet soup, make it obvious in their teachings that they spend more time studying things other than the Word of God.  Those things may have their place, but it is not as a substitute for the Truth.
            The only titles we wear are Christian, child of God, saint, heirs and joint-heirs with Christ.  Truly, among the family of God, that should be all the honor any of us needs.
 
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.  There can be neither Jew nor Greek, there can be neither bond nor free, there can be neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus, Gal 3:26-28.
 
Dene Ward     

You can find some strange things in the footnotes.  Sometimes they illuminate the text you are reading, but sometimes they cause even more confusion.  Sometimes they answer the questions in your mind, and other times they cause even more.  Sometimes they sound like utter gibberish—sometimes they are in another language and might as well be gibberish.  And sometimes they are downright funny, as was the case this past Sunday morning.
 
You have heard that it was said to our ancestors, Do not murder, and whoever murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Fool! ’ will be subject to the Sanhedrin. But whoever says, ‘You moron! ’ will be subject to hellfire.  (Matt 5:21-22)
 
            Perhaps it is because I was reading this out of my newest Bible, a Holman Christian Standard I purchased because it has the largest "large print" I have ever seen, that I paid more attention than usual to those verses.  I mean, that last line really gets your attention.  Then I noticed the footnote on the word "fool" and laughed out loud.
 
             "Literally Raca, an Arab term of abuse similar to 'airhead.' "
 
            Airhead?  Do you mean the ancients talked like that too?  Of course they did.  People have not changed for centuries.  But reading that footnote also hit home.  When I was driving, one of the more common terms I tended to use about other drivers was, "Idiot."  What other term better fits people who swerve in and out of traffic at high speed, tailgate at those same speeds, text while driving, suddenly slow down ten miles an hour whenever they answer their phones as if that will instantly make them safe drivers despite the distraction, sit at a stop sign while you approach on the main road at the posted speed of 55 and then pull out when you are a car length away?  Idiots, all of them.
            And then, reading that new version and knowing what that footnote said, made me wonder why the Lord connected calling people "airhead," or something similar, with murder.  I have pondered this for a few days now and maybe I have it.  When you consider someone to be that kind of person, whether you use the word airhead, moron, idiot, or "things like these" (cf Gal 5:21), you really mean they are not worth caring about, not worth your consideration, not worth "the air they breathe or the space they take up," as some would say.  And that is exactly the mentality you must have to commit murder.  De-humanizing in any manner someone made in the image of God, someone whom Christ also died for, would make it a whole lot easier to simply eradicate them.  I may not realize that is what I am doing when I call people these names, but it is, and that is exactly why I should never have done it in the first place.
            Even if they don't drive, or talk, or act, or live--or vote--like I want them to.
 
A fool’s displeasure is known at once, but whoever ignores an insult is sensible.  (Prov 12:16).
 
Dene Ward