Have you ever apologized to anyone?  Let me rephrase that.  Have you ever apologized in the Biblical way?  You mean there is a difference?  I think there is a huge one.
              The first two definitions of “apology” in my Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary are 1} a formal justification; a defense; and 2) an excuse.  The original word is Greek, apologia.  Paul used it in Acts 22:1 and 25:16 when he made his “defense” at his trials.  Understand this, in no way was he admitting wrong, and none of us would have expected him to.  He was in trouble for preaching the gospel.  He was defending himself, giving “a formal justification.”  That is not the kind of apology I am talking about either.
             Yet that is exactly the way most of us apologize—we defend ourselves.  We say, “I’m sorry you got hurt,” placing the fault on the other person, instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you.”  We say, “If I did anything wrong, I’m sorry,” as if to call in question the one we are “apologizing” to.  We give excuses for why we did what we did to make sure everyone knows “it wasn’t my fault.”  We do everything we can to avoid admitting wrong.
              Webster finally gives this as his last definition:  “An admission of error accompanied by regret.”  More to our point, this is the definition Jesus gives:  if he sin against you seven times in the day, and seven times turn again to you, saying, I repent; you shall forgive him.  Luke 17:4.  If he “turn again to you saying, I repent.”  No defense, no excuses, no justification, just “I was wrong.”  Have you ever apologized that way?
              I daresay most of us have not.  Yet that is exactly the way we are to apologize to God too.  Have you? Or do we, in our prayers, justify ourselves with phrases about being “only human,” or about “how hard it is, Lord,” or even “how mean he was to me first—you know he provoked me, Lord.”  What God expects from us is change for the better, Vine’s definition of the word.  That necessarily involves admission of guilt.  If not, why would we need to change?  And that is the same word Jesus used in Luke 17: 4.  “I repent,” plain and simple.
              So I ask you again, have you ever truly apologized in the Biblical sense, what Jesus called “repentance?”  The next time you begin with, “I’m sorry,” just stop after that second word.  Don’t allow yourself excuses or justification.  Just apologize.  You cannot correct error in your life without admitting it first, and once it’s been admitted, if you truly are a child of God, the responsibility to change cannot help but affect you.
 
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5.
 
Dene Ward
 

I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.  (Phil 4:2-3).
 
              One of the saddest things about having been part of many different congregations in my lifetime is seeing people just like those two famous women above.  These were good women who had worked hard for the Lord, but for some reason they just could not get along.  We have seen it in every church and it is never takes long to figure out who the two parties are.  Once we were only at a place for a week-long gospel meeting and we still knew who they were well before the week was up.  That time it was two men, by the way.
              A lot of people may say that it doesn't really matter as long as they don't gather up parties on either side or cause a ruckus because, after all, the Bible doesn't say we have to like each other.  Yet the older I get and the more I study, the more I believe it does matter for one very simple reason.  Let me show you quickly this morning.
              Grab your Bible and look up Ephesians 2:11-22.  Christ came here with a mission.  The first one was making peace between God and man (Rom 5:1-3).  But he also came to make peace among men.  Look at verse 12 in this passage.  What was happening before Christ?  As Gentiles we were separate from Christ, alienated from the Jews, strangers from the covenant of promise, had no hope, and were without God.  Do you see all those words of separation and disunity?
              But now that we are in Christ we have been brought near, are one new man, are in one body of the reconciled, have access to the father, have become one nation and one family, and are built into one spiritual Temple (vv13-21).  Notice the difference in the words—nearness, access, oneness.  And why did that have to happen?  Because (v 22) God, who is a God of peace (Phil 4:9) cannot dwell in a Temple where there is no peace.
              When we think we can hang on to our little peeves and animosities and have it not affect the church, we are sadly mistaken.  It isn't just the Jew/Gentile or black/white problem, though they are bad enough.  It took Christ coming to fix that and make us one nation.  But we can still ruin the whole thing if an outsider can come in and see the disunity after just a few days, when one family fights another, when two men behave like children who want their way "or else," when two women avoid one another like the plague. 
When you just can't get along, and don't really even seem to care, you may as well hang a sign on the door that says, "God not wanted here."
 
I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, ​that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.  (John 17:20-21).
 
Dene Ward
 

Today's post is part 2 of the continuing series on Proverbs by Lucas Ward.

In the previous lessons we have learned that the pursuit of wisdom is important and ranks with all the Christian virtues as something a Christian should be looking to grow.  After all, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.” Prov. 4:7.  Of course, James tells us to pray for wisdom (1:5) and Solomon continues to urge us to seek it out:  “Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.” Prov. 4:5.  So, I should be actively seeking wisdom.  Ok, but how?  How do I gain in wisdom?  Let's see what Proverbs says about this.
[A word of warning, most of these Proverbs posts are very scripture heavy as I allow Solomon to teach us.  I add just enough to tie the passages together and make them real for our modern lives.]

Prov. 10:8  “The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.”
Prov. 10:14  “The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.”
Prov. 18:15  “An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.”
From these it seems that one basic characteristic of the wise is that they are willing to listen and learn from others.  They seek out new knowledge and store it up. 

Prov. 19:20  “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
A wise man is willing to listen and learn and here we are instructed to listen and accept instruction in order to be wise.  If I want to be wise I must be willing to listen to the teachings of those wiser than I, but I can't listen blankly.  This isn't daydreaming in class, but time spent thinking about the advice and instruction I've received. 

Prov. 2:1-5  "My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God."
 
Look at how Solomon describes the search for wisdom.  Receive, treasure up, make ear attentive, inclining heart, call out, raise voice, seek and search.  This is effort.  This is work.  This is dedication to achieving a goal.  Solomon continues his urgings:
Prov. 4:13  “Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.” 
Prov. 22:17  “Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge”
Prov. 23:12  “Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of knowledge.”
 
Don't just idly listen; keep hold of the instruction and don't let go.  Then, apply your heart to knowledge and instruction.  That word "apply" was a very old Hebrew word that had come to mean a lot of different things. Originally it just meant "go" or "come".  Every other meaning it subsequently acquired was action oriented.  So, when I apply my heart to teaching, I'm taking action with my heart regarding that teaching.  I'm changing myself to better fit the teaching and thereby acquire wisdom. 
 
Of course, this isn't always pleasant.  One of the greatest challenges to accepting the instruction of others is the notion that "I can figure it out by myself!"  I want to be self-sufficient and don't want to rely on anyone else.  Solomon makes quick work of that idea:
Prov. 14:12  “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” 
Prov. 16:25  “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” 
Prov. 28:26  “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.”
Notice that 14:12 and 16:25 are word for word copies.  Solomon (or rather the Holy Spirit through Solomon) thought that idea was so important he repeated it verbatim later in his book.  If I try to figure everything out for myself, I'll wind up dead.  Trusting in my own ideas proves me a fool.  Instead I should walk in wisdom, or the instruction I've been gathering.  This idea of needing others to help us learn and grow is found in the New Testament especially in Titus as the older women are told to teach the younger.  In Galatians 6 we are taught to help instruct those who have fallen away back in to the light.  No matter how gentle we are, some will always refuse to listen.  These are fools and will come to a bad end:
Prov. 15:12  “A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise.” 
Prov. 9:7  “Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.”
Prov. 13:18  “Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.”
Prov. 15:5  “A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.”
Prov. 29:1  “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.” 
 
Even the instruction of the wise is sometimes a bit painful:
Prov. 10:17  “Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.”
The instruction heeded is also referred to as reproof.  To be reproved is to be chided, to be told you are wrong.  This is never fun, but the wise one listens and grows while the fool rejects it.
Prov. 12:1  “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.”
Prov. 15:31  "The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.  Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence."
Prov. 27:6  “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”
Again and again, listening to reproof and loving discipline are part of growing wisdom.  The wise also knows that a true friend will wound you to make you better while your enemy flatters you enormously. 

So, I need to be willing to listen to instruction even when it hurts.  I need to think about, to apply myself to that teaching.  What other practical advice does Solomon give for obtaining wisdom?
First, choose your companions with care:
Prov. 14:7  “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.” 
Prov. 13:20  “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Sometimes foolish people are fun to hang out with, but you will never learn much from them.  If you want to become wise, seek out those who are wise and spend as much time as possible with them. 
 
Second, and finally, seek out counselors:
Prov. 11:14  “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
Prov. 15:22  “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Prov. 20:18  “Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance wage war.”
Prov. 24:6  “for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.”
Solomon, in preparing his son to be king, speaks of war, but the principle holds to any activity.  Do you want to start teaching Bible classes?  Find someone who has done it and discuss it with them.   Are you a new parent, unsure of what to do?  Look around and find several successful parents and get their advice.  Do you want to start a new business?  Write a novel?  Further your education?  Find counselors who know about those things and talk to them.  This wisdom isn't just related to our spiritual lives, but will help us be successful in all aspects of our lives.  But for it to work, we have to be willing to listen.
 
Prov. 4:10-13  "Hear, my son, and accept my words, that the years of your life may be many.  I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness.  When you walk, your step will not be hampered, and if you run, you will not stumble.  Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life." 
 
Lucas Ward

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, (Eph 5:18-19).
              It had to have been a science class somewhere along the way in my education, maybe as early as fourth grade.  The teacher put a glass in front of us and asked us what was in it.
              "Nothing," we replied in unison, at which point she told us we were mistaken—it was full of air.  It took a while for some to catch on.  A glass is never empty, not even half-empty.  It is either full of some liquid or it is full of air or it contains some of both.  That was the beginning of our study of vacuums, leading to the old Bell jar demonstration.
              What is true for a glass, is true for us as well.  "Be filled with the Spirit," our passage above says, and we understand that if we do not fill ourselves with that, something much worse will worm its way inside us because, just as physical nature abhors a vacuum, so does spiritual nature.
              And so we need to know how to fill ourselves with the Spirit and all too often we stop with those two verses.  "By singing!" we exclaim when someone asks how it is done, and then laud our congregation for its Spirit-filled singing, as if that is all there is to it.  We sound great and those harmonies and rhythms stir our souls, making our hearts even beat faster, so that must be how to do it.  Wow!  Look at all the Spirit we have in this one room.
              Yes, that is indeed part of it.  But if we think that a good songfest will take care of the issue, we have shown ourselves to be poor readers of the Word.  That paragraph does not stop with "singing," and neither does that sentence.
              …giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, (Eph 5:20).
              How good am I at giving thanks, especially if I have had a particularly trying week?  How often does my thanks become complaining because my life has not gone the way I expected?  Because Ii got up on the wrong side of the bed?  Because someone cut me off in traffic?  How often do I resort to those words of self-pity, "Why me?"  when suffering comes my way?  Probably more often than I should, but still, being thankful is fairly easy to do when you have been steeped in the plan of God to save us from sin and the sacrifices He made to do it for your entire life.  So how about the final point in that sentence?
              …submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:21).
              What?!  Yes, if I am filled with the Spirit, I am submitting to my brothers and sisters.  "Aye, there's the rub," we say along with Hamlet.  We are perfectly happy to sing and even to give thanks, especially when reminded every so often, but submission?  Now that IS a rub—a hindrance or impediment—to allowing the Spirit to fill us.  What exactly is meant by this (grumble, grumble) "submission?"
              Well, it is the same word as the next verse, Wives submit to your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  The answer is right there.  A man should submit to his brothers and sisters exactly as he expects his wife to submit to him, and even the manner is specified:  as unto the Lord.
              Whoa, now! 
              "I have my rights." 
              "I have liberties."
              "I have my opinions."
              "I am just as good as anyone else." 
              "No one can tell me what to do."
I have heard them all, not just once or twice, but too many times to count.  And what does that mean?  It means I have heard a lot of people who are filled with something besides the Spirit, probably themselves, because your heart abhors a vacuum just as much as nature does.
 
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, [How?]
1.  addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,
2.  giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
3. submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:18-21).
 
Dene Ward

One evening as we sat with our grandsons in the family room of their home, two year old Judah found three small bins, about the size of the largest coffee cans these days, and summarily emptied them one by one.  Small figurines, farm animals, blocks and other toys covered the family room floor.  He stood there looking around with obvious satisfaction, lifted his hands in the air and, with a big grin on his face, proclaimed, “I made a mess!”
              Then, surprising us both, he began to pick up each and every tiny toy and place them in the back of his dump truck, the big one he can sit on and push with his feet, until every toy was off the floor.
              “What a good boy!” I exclaimed.  Naively, as it turned out because he immediately knelt before the truck and began tossing the toys over his shoulders with both hands until once again they were scattered everywhere.  Again he looked on his work with satisfaction, then began picking them up and starting over.   This must have occurred five or six times before it began to bore him, but for a while there, “Making a Mess” was the game of the hour and he was quite good at it.
              Do you know any mess makers in the church?  You know, the ones who ask questions in class that are deliberately designed to foil the teacher’s carefully laid out lesson and confuse the newcomers; the ones who enjoy starting a discussion they know will end in arguments; the ones who delight in pulling people aside, especially teachers and preachers, and “setting them straight” about some detail that doesn’t even matter; the ones who pride themselves on taking the opposing view, not because it is the right one, but because they enjoy a stir.  They might as well stand in the middle of the room with my two year old grandson and proclaim, “I made a mess.”
              What does Paul say about them?  They “quarrel about words to no profit.”  They participate in “irreverent babble.”  They engage in “foolish and ignorant controversies.”  They have “an unhealthy craving for controversy”—indeed they can hardly control themselves when they see certain subjects coming up.  That lack of self-control comes because they are “depraved in mind.”  In short, these people thrive on making messes.  They live to cause trouble.  They even brag about their tendency to do these things. 
              And why is it so bad?  Their actions “subvert souls.”  They “lead people to more and more ungodliness.”  Their foolishness “eats like a gangrene.”  It “genders strife.”  It serves only to “produce envy, dissension, slander, suspicion…and constant friction.”  It troubles the new Christians and “unsettles minds.”
              At least my two year old grandson’s activity did not hurt anyone.  It was entirely appropriate for a child his age.  What excuse does a middle-aged mess-maker have?  He might as well go play with the babies.
 
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.  Titus 3:9-11
(Passages quoted in the body of the article:  1 Tim 6:4,5; 2 Tim 2:14,16,23; Acts 15:25.)
 
Dene Ward
 

We were once again babysitting, this time in Tampa instead of here at home.  Though I grew up there, that Tampa was long ago and far, far away.  In fact, that night, a Wednesday, we headed for a place that forty years ago had been nothing but woods.  Now it is a Chick-Fil-A, "where we go every Wednesday before church," we were told by our grandsons, and since Mom and Dad had been away for a week and a half already with three more days to go—and not just away, but on another continent—we wanted things to be like "normal," so off to that popular place we went.
              Probably because I grew up in that area, even if it did look very different back then, my sense of direction was just fine when we came out after our meal.  For one thing, I knew that turning left onto Fowler without a light, especially during the remaining minutes of rush hour, was a no-go.
              "I wonder if there is a back way," I mused aloud.
              Eight year old Silas immediately piped up from the backseat.  "Turn right out of the back of the parking lot, go to the next street and turn right again."  Of course he gets his superb directional skills from his grandma!
              So I repeated his directions to Keith who could not possibly hear him from the front seat.  He looked a little askance, but did as he was told.  But then we came to 56th Street and by then, good old Granddad was totally turned around.  He had no idea where he really was.  I recognized immediately that though we needed to turn left, there was no break in the median there to do so.  We would have to turn right, go to the Fowler light, and do a U-turn in order to be headed in the correct direction.  And that light was not even a block down the street in the middle of the thick traffic.
              "Make sure you have enough room to get all the way across," I told him.  "You will have to make a U-turn at the light to get to church."
              "What are you talking about?  A U-turn?"
              "Yes, at the light."
              "I don't want to turn there.  It's the wrong place.
              "No, it isn't.  The church turn-off is behind us."
              "Are you sure?  It's just down a block or two on the left."
              "No!  You have to turn around.  You have to make a U-turn at the light."
              "But why do I want to do that?"  he asked, thoroughly flummoxed.
              Once again the 8 year old voice piped up from the backseat.  "Because that's how to get there," he said with simple logic.
              At that point I laughed out loud.  "Yes.  That's how to get there."
              "No it's not.  I shouldn't have to make a turn at all."
              "Yes, you do," and by then the car was in a bit of an uproar because he was starting to pull out and the traffic was way too heavy for him to get all the way across into the left turn lane before he hit the light.  "All the way, all the way, all the way!" the boys and I were shouting, and that is exactly what Keith did, having given up on his idea of where we were, though I think I still hear the echo of a horn and a screech of tires behind us as he did it.
              As we sat there in our hard-won left lane, waiting to make a U-turn, Keith said very quietly, "What street is this?" and when I told him he added, "Ohhhhh," with dawning realization.  "Well, it's a good thing someone knew where we were."
              And once again that little voice piped up from the backseat, "Always listen to the guy in the backseat."  Then glancing over at his little brother he added, "On the right."
              We have laughed at that story for a year and a half now.  "Always listen to the guy in the backseat," one of us says, and then in unison, "On the right!"  And the little guy had a point.  When you are lost, when you don't know what to do, when you don't know where to go or who to turn to, ask "the guy in the backseat."  In this case, that metaphor stands for someone who has been there, perhaps several times, as Silas had, someone who knows the ropes, someone who can lead you through the maze of possible routes safely to the other side.
              Too many times we go to the wrong people.  We go to the ignorant, the naïve, the ones who are in just as much trouble as we are.  We steadfastly refuse to approach anyone who can really help us.  And why?  Could it be because we know we won't like the answer we will get?  Could it be because it simply goes against the grain to let that particular person know we are having trouble?  Could it be because, "No one really understands what it's like."  Are we really that arrogant?
              God created the church in his "manifold wisdom" (Eph 3:10), first, to hold forth the light of the gospel and save the world.  But also so we can help one another, so we never have to fight the battles alone.  Look around you some Sunday morning.  You will see a group of people who, between them, have met almost every trial of life.  You have a wealth of information and help at your beck and call, not to mention a raft of prayers going up daily if you only ask for them.
              Sometimes your life is a crazy intersection at rush hour, with cars whizzing past and a left lane far across four lanes of that dangerous traffic, the very lane you need to be in to make a U-turn that might save your soul.  Listen to the guy in the backseat and quit trying to figure it out alone.
 
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. (Gal 6:2).
Now we that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. (Rom 15:1).
 
Dene Ward

Years ago I sang in the evening chorus at the university.  Chorus was required for my degree, and this was the only chorus that fit my schedule, a schedule that included teaching private piano lessons, running a home, and interning as a music teacher in a local elementary school.  Add to that, I was a preacher’s wife—just learning, as he was, but still dealing with extra obligations.
              We had a program scheduled and the director called an extra rehearsal.  That rehearsal did not fit my schedule.  I would have had to cancel a few lessons and more important, miss a Wednesday evening Bible study.  He made it clear that no misses would be excused short of death beds.  So I took a deep breath when I broached the lion in his den the next afternoon.
              My heart sank when I saw three others waiting outside his office.  Instead of calling us in one by one, he came out and stood in the hall and listened as the first one asked to be excused.  “Absolutely not!” he said sternly.  “You already miss too many rehearsals.  If you don’t show up, you will be dismissed from the chorus.”  The next one received a similar reply and the next.  They all left, crestfallen.
              Then he saw me at the back of the line.  “If you have to dismiss me, I understand,” I began, “but my husband is a preacher and we have a Bible study that night.  I just cannot miss it.” 
              I was shocked when a small smile twitched at his lips.  “You I don’t worry about,” he said quietly.  “You are always there.  You listen when I give directions.  You know your part.  You haven’t missed a single performance.  Go to your Bible study.  You still have a place in my chorus.” Talk about relief.  I drove home praising God in my heart.
              Have you read Psalm 123?  That psalm is classified as a psalm of trust, written on behalf of the entire nation of Israel.  Many psalms are full of hallelujahs, with shouts of Hosanna, with dancing and leaping and loud expressions of joy.  Not this one.  Psalm 123 is a quiet psalm.  It is presented as servants watching quietly from the corner of the room for the smallest sign from the master that he wants something. 
              Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he has mercy upon us, v 2.
              Leupold says, “There is nothing powerful, moving or sublime that finds expression here.  A quiet, submissive tone prevails throughout.  It is subdued in character.”  This is simply a servant doing his master’s will in an unobtrusive manner, calmly asking for relief but going about his duty even in the midst of trial, trusting that his prayer will be answered without his further interference.
              I like this psalm.  I have never been one who needs to demonstrate my love for God loudly, yet everyone knows it is there simply from the way I live my life.  If my chorus director could know I was a “faithful student” despite the fact that I was quiet instead of boisterous, certainly God can know the same about my spiritual life.
              God, the Father of spirits, made all kinds of personalities.  And because He made them, he accepts them—just look at the apostles and all their differences.  If He will accept that varied crew, He will accept my worship, even if it is quiet and restrained, as long as my emotion and intent are sincere and obedient.
              Nowadays it seems people are quick to judge others as less thankful, less sincere, and less loving if they sit quietly and say little aloud about their feelings.  This psalm says it isn’t so.  If I sit quietly in the corner waiting for my master’s smallest cue, I may, in fact, be a whole lot more likely to see it than someone who can’t sit still long enough to notice, or be quiet long enough to hear someone besides himself.  
              We are all different, yet God accepts all worship that is “in spirit and in truth,” the brash, the boisterous, even the analytical and the subdued.  Perhaps our judgments of one another should be more subdued as well.
 
But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious, 1 Pet 3:4.
 
Dene Ward

The Music Teachers' National Association, of which I was a member, was founded on December 26, 1876, by Theodore Presser, who was both a musician and a music publisher.  The stated aim of this organization was the support, growth, and development of music teaching professionals.  Its various programs include the certification of teachers, competitions for the students of member-teachers, and commissioning of composers, among many others.  Because I was a member of MTNA, I was able to participate in workshops and other continuing learning experiences in both my local and state branches, and my students in various activities, earning prestigious recognition and even scholarships.  The application for membership was five or six pages long and I remember feeling both relieved and ecstatic when I was accepted.  It officially made me one of the pros, and it put me in some rarefied air as well.
              One year the state music teachers’ convention was held in my district.  Somehow I found myself in charge of the name tags and the registration desk.  Since I did not know most of the people, my standard greeting was, “Welcome to Gainesville.  What’s your name please?”  Then I riffled through a couple of shoeboxes containing the laminated name tags that we hung around our necks.
              The second afternoon a man in his thirties came bustling up to the desk.  His expensive suit was sharp, and probably custom tailored since it fit his rounded figure without a pull or pucker anywhere.  He was well-groomed and carried a leather portfolio that also bespoke of money.  Not your typical music teacher, I thought.  Most of us are clean and tidy, but few of us dress like lawyers.
              He stood before me, but couldn’t be bothered to actually look at me.  Instead, he looked around at the passersby and intoned, “And do you have a name tag for me?” in a deep, full-of-himself voice.
              “I don’t know,” I answered.  “Who are you?”
              Then he looked at me—with an incredulous, wide-eyed stare.  At last lowly little music-teacher-me had gotten his attention.  When he told me his name, I managed to keep a straight face.  He was one of the university professors who also performs on the concert stage.  He had won some international competitions.  In fact, I recognized his name, I had just never seen him in person. 
              That afternoon when the rush had calmed at the table, I told a couple of my friends about my faux pas.  They both laughed.  “Good,” they said.  “He needed that.”
              Do we need something similar?  The Proverb writer says it like this:  Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him, 26:12. 
              Why is it we think so well of ourselves?   Paul reminded the Corinthians, For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it? 1 Cor 4:7.  So you have a gift for speaking, for singing, for teaching, for welcoming visitors—any special ability.  You wouldn’t have that gift if God hadn’t given it to you, so what are you bragging about?
              Why is it we feel so compelled to remind people of our successes?  Why must we pat ourselves on the back whenever the opportunity arises, recounting all our various experiences as examples of wisdom for all to learn from?  We couldn’t have done any of it by ourselves.
              Sometimes those things are used as excuses.  Maybe I didn’t do well this time, but in the past you should have seen all I did for the Lord.  Or, I know I shouldn’t be bragging, but no one else seems to notice what I’ve done. 
              God notices.  Who else should we care about?  Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends, 2 Cor 10:17,18.
              I think this happens most with age.  As older men and women teaching the younger, we must be careful how we come across.  It isn’t an episode of “This Is Your Life,” where we can boast about all the wonderful things we have done in the past, careful to leave out the bad examples, of course.  It’s about edifying and encouraging others.  That attitude must always be with us.
              Don’t worry if people don’t know who you are and what you have done.  God holds the name tags, and he won’t have to ask who you are.
 
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. Rom 12:3
 
Dene Ward
 

The first crossword puzzles appeared in England in the 1800s.  They were usually built on a small square and the solved puzzle would read alike both vertically and horizontally.  These were so basic they usually appeared in children's puzzle books.  But once the crossword puzzle crossed the Atlantic, it became a serious adult game.  The first crossword puzzle is said to have been created by Arthur Wynne on December 21, 1913, and was printed in the New York World.  It was a diamond shape without the internal black squares.  Within a decade nearly every American newspaper featured a crossword puzzle.
              I am a crossword puzzle enthusiast—a cruciverbalist, but that is not the extent of the word games I enjoy.  One of my favorites involves making as many words as possible out of one larger word—not anagrams exactly, which use every letter of the word and are small in number, but using the letters of the word only as many times as the original word uses them and making as many other words as possible, three letters or larger, not counting plurals, past tense, or other obvious derivatives. 
              For example, how many other words can you make out of the word “jealousy?”  Sea, use, you, soul, say, aloes, lose, louse, yea, seal, joules, lea, sole, jay, lay, say, soy—and that’s just off the top of my head typing as fast as I can.  But how about this one—joy?  Seems a little ironic, doesn’t it, that you can make joy out of jealousy?
              A lot of people get those two mixed up.  In times where we should be “rejoicing with those who rejoice,” we find ourselves feeling just a tinge of jealousy.  Why did he get that promotion and not me?  Why is she being lauded from the pulpit and not me?  Why do people run to them for advice when I am just as smart/experienced/knowledgeable/wise, etc.?  And that green-eyed monster gradually takes over, turning us into its willing minion.  We can easily think of reasons that other person does not deserve this and spread it to whomever will listen, causing us to ignore our own blessings, steeping ourselves in ingratitude that gradually becomes bitterness, not just against the other person, but at life in general. 
              Elizabeth is the best example I know of someone who got it right.  She took what could have been a cause for jealousy and changed it into a cause for joy.
              Zacharias and Elizabeth had made it to old age without having children.  According to Lenski, Elizabeth was probably looked down on as someone who had somehow displeased God—that was the general attitude toward barren women.  Finally, after years of waiting, probably with a multitude of prayers, Zacharias came home with the good news—albeit written down, since he could no longer speak:  “We are going to be parents!”  And not only that, but this child will be special—he will be the promised Elijah spoken of in Malachi.
              Then lo and behold, six months later, along comes her teenage cousin with even better news.  She too, is pregnant, and is blessed to bear the Messiah.  What?!  Elizabeth has been waiting for decades.  She is older and wiser.  She has been the faithful wife of a priest, and borne the ridicule of an ignorant culture, blaming her for her own misfortune.  And she gets the Forerunner while this child who has scarcely lived long enough to even be considered faithful, who is fertile (in this culture the family would know her menstrual history) and will probably (and ultimately did) bare more than half a dozen children, this girl gets the Messiah?  How fair is that?
              But Elizabeth had the grateful attitude and the abiding Messianic hope of a faithful child of God.  In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, and she entered the house of Zacharias and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? Luke 1:39-43.
              Not only is she excited for Mary, she humbles herself before a younger woman, one with far less experience and far less service on her record—she simply hadn’t lived long enough to do much yet.  And her joy?  It was not a feigned, polite joy, but a joy so overwhelming that “the babe leaped in her womb for joy” v 44.  I am told that “leap for joy” is one Greek word, the same one used in verse 40, quoted earlier.  It is a sympathetic joy.  In other words, Elizabeth was so moved with joy that it caused her unborn child to move within her.  Every mother understands how her own emotions can affect her unborn baby, in the last trimester especially.  Elizabeth’s joy for her young cousin was that deep and moving.  Jealousy never entered her heart for a second.
              How does that match with statements like, “He gets to lead singing more than my husband;” “My husband hasn’t been asked to teach in a long time;” “How can he be an elder when my husband is just as good as he is and no one has asked him”? 
             Oh yes, it happens.  And it should not.  If we are all members of the same body, then if one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1Cor 12:26. 
            Love “envies not” 1 Cor 13:4.  When you do envy, you do not love as you are commanded to.  Jealousy and envy are works of the flesh (Gal 5:20,21).  Those who practice them “will not inherit the kingdom of God.”   Check yourself on this.  Are you playing games with your words?  Has your speech given you away?
            Too many of us get this backwards.  We rejoice when bad things happen to others and weep when good things happen to them.  How are you doing at this word game?  Can you keep joy from becoming jealousy?
 
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Gal 5:25-26
 
Dene Ward
 

A couple of weeks ago, I ran a load in the washer.  When the second spin stopped, I went in to transfer the clothes to the dryer and got a real shock.  The washer was empty.  I went back into the bedroom and sure enough, right there next to the hamper was the load I had intended to wash.  I had started the water, added the detergent, and then become distracted with something else and completely forgotten to put in the laundry.  What I had washed was water, which was useless when it comes to getting our clothes clean.
              Have you ever thought about the job the preacher is required to do?  It's one of the very few jobs in the world where a man is paid for telling people what is wrong with them.  It is his job to put us in the laundry and clean us up.  If he only preaches about things we are NOT doing wrong, and things we ARE doing right, how will we ever improve?  He might as well be washing water instead of dirty laundry.  Or are we saying we are already perfect and do not need to improve?
              Have you ever heard the expression, "The hit dog howls?"  Just imagine you throw a stick into a pack of dogs.  How do you know which one you hit?  The one that howls is probably the one you hit.  If the preacher isn't getting any howls, what good is he doing?  And, if you are howling, why don't you get out of the way of the stick?  Why don't you listen to his words and improve yourself?  Because it's easier to fire the preacher than admit I might need a run through the washing machine, that's why. 
              But getting rid of the preacher won't clean you up for your presentation before God on Judgment Day, will it?  Ahab thought it would.  "Is it you, you troubler of Israel?" he asked Elijah, when all the time it was Ahab causing the trouble with his refusal to repent.  He, too, thought it was Elijah's job to just wash water instead of dirty laundry.
              Our preacher recently presented a great series on parenting.  There were some howls.  Seems to me that isn't very smart.  The howling dog is just showing everyone who the preacher hit with his words.  If it were me, I think I'd keep my mouth shut.
 
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season [when they want to hear it and when they don't]; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, (2Tim 4:1-3).
 
Dene Ward