Beta blockers are wonderful things if you have high blood pressure.  They block the effects of the hormone epinephrine, which we usually call adrenaline.  In doing so they lower both your pulse and your blood pressure and open the blood vessels allowing blood to flow more easily, at least that is what the Mayo Clinic website tells me.

            I do not have high blood pressure.  I do have narrow angle glaucoma, complicated by severe nanophthalmus and a handful of other things, so I take four eye medications, several of which contain beta blockers to help lower eye pressure.  So, because my blood pressure is not high, it is now very low, as is my pulse.  High these days is 100/70 and it often runs 90/60 with an accompanying pulse no higher than 60—and that’s when I am excited.  It usually runs much lower than that.  In my recent bout with kidney stones, the alarm they hooked me up to in the ER kept going off because my pulse kept dropping to 40.  Even experienced nurses have difficulty finding my pulse and it often takes two or three tries to get any blood pressure reading.  I told Keith a few weeks ago, if I ever pass out, please make sure they call an ambulance instead of the coroner’s van.

            Needless to say, I do not have much energy these days.  I wear out quickly.  Doing anything in the evening when the usual weariness of the day compounds the problem is a major ordeal.  But do I mind?  Not on your life—I can still see well enough to function, something no one would have predicted 20 years ago.  But I do have to fight exhaustion constantly.

            Sometimes our spiritual vital signs sound an alarm to the people around us.  We may not notice, but they can see the flagging interest and sagging strength.  So I wondered what sort of spiritual beta-blockers we ought to be looking out for.

            The biggest may be distractions in our lives.  It is possible to be too busy—not with sinful things, but completely neutral things, maybe even good things.  Work, entertainment, exercise, travel, sports, the hours we spend on social media and keeping our eyes glued to a screen of some sort all rob us of time we could be spending on thoughtful meditation or  becoming more familiar with God’s word.  Shame on us, we do it to our children too, and often as yet another status symbol.  We enroll them in everything possible and rob them of their childhood by running them back and forth and driving them literally to exhaustion—not to mention the pressure on them to succeed in every single one of these activities.  Do children even know how to play anymore?  I remember having voice students nearly fall asleep standing up!

            Failure to communicate with God may be one of the biggest spiritual beta blockers.  How can we expect to know Him, to know how to please Him, to know why we should want to please Him, to know the direction He wants us to take when we ignore His Word and never speak to Him except at meals—if He’s lucky!  Of course our faith will weaken—our faith is in a Who not a what, and knowing that Who is absolutely necessary to keep from losing it.

            This one may sound a little strange, but bear with me.  Sometimes our busyness is not a busyness in worldly endeavors, it’s a busyness in good works, and even that busyness can weaken us. 

            In Twelve Extraordinary Women John MacArthur says, “It is a danger, even for people who love Christ, that we not become so concerned with doing things for Him that we begin to neglect hearing Him and remembering what He has done for us.  We must never allow our service for Christ to crowd out our worship of Him.  The moment our works become more important than our worship we have turned the true spiritual priorities on their heads…Whenever you elevate good deeds over sound doctrine and true worship, you ruin the works too.  Doing good works for the works’ sake has a tendency to exalt self and depreciate the work of Christ.  Good deeds, human charity, and acts of kindness are crucial expressions of real faith, but they must flow from a true reliance on God’s redemption and His righteousness…Observe any form of religion where good works are ranked as more important than authentic faith or sound doctrine and you’ll discover a system the denigrates Christ while unduly magnifying self.” 

            I have seen people literally work themselves to death for others, visiting, carrying food, taking the elderly to the doctor, cleaning houses and doing yard work and then when their lives take a tragic turn, fall completely apart.  In all their “doing” they had neglected to shore up their own faith with time for prayer, personal Bible study, and taking a real interest in the studies offered during the usual assembly times or extras on the side.  Their lack of theological understanding left them floundering for answers they had never taken the time to look for and learn, and then when they needed them, they had nothing lean on.

            And so in all these cases, the blood pressure plummets and the pulse fades and soon they may be gone.  I am sure you can think of other spiritual beta blockers.  Today, for your own good, look for them in your life.  How long has it been since you gave yourself a good shot of spiritual adrenaline—zeal? 
if you suffered a spiritual collapse, should we call an ambulance or a hearse?
 
…“Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Eph 5:14-16
 
Dene Ward

Being in the hospital is the pits.  My past two or three experiences have confirmed that.  They nearly gave me insulin once even though I am not diabetic.  If I had not spoken up and questioned the nurse, no telling what might have happened.  As she discovered, that shot was meant for my roommate. 
And speaking of roommates, you never know how that will turn out.  The last one I had was decidedly unfriendly.  After the nurses deposited me on the bed from the ER gurney, I reached across to pull back the curtain and introduce myself.

            “Don’t you dare open that curtain!  I want it shut!” screamed my companion of the next two days.  She then talked on her cell phone half the night and rang the call button every fifteen minutes.  I never did get a wink of sleep.

            Then there was the unexpected bath I received when the nurse, instead of pushing the meal tray out of the way, tried to reach across it to scan my bracelet.  She managed to upend the pitcher of ice water all over me and my umpteen stitches.

            And finally, the food, especially after surgery—broth, coffee, juice, and jello.  Yum, yum.  Barely 18 hours after being sliced from hither to yon, my breakfast was brought in, but I was alone and could not sit myself up.  The tray was barely at eye level.  I could only see things that stood up above its lip.  I saw a dark brown mug and a white one.  I tasted each and could not tell the difference, but it only made sense that the coffee would be in the dark brown one, so I drank a little of that.  One of my grandfathers used to say about weak coffee, “You could see a minnow a mile deep in it.”  That pretty well describes how that cupful tasted.

            Keith came in mid-morning and was there to help when the lunch tray arrived, identical to the breakfast tray except for an added glass of tea.  He reached down and picked up a packet, tore it open and sprinkled it in yet another dark brown mug.  “Here’s your broth,” he said as he handed it down to my level.

            Suddenly a bell rang in the back of my mind.  “When you came in did you see one of those packets on the breakfast tray?”  Yes, it turns out he had.  What I had been drinking was the hot water meant for that packet of instant bouillon, which I had been too low to see.  No wonder the “coffee” tasted so weak.

            Sometimes we settle for hospital broth for our souls.  Modern philosophies, sectarian –isms, and various “spiritual” folderols fill our hearts and our minds with about as much nourishment as a mug of hot water.  Yet our spirits obviously hunger for that type of guidance, or why would those things appeal to so many? 

            The Word of God is there for us, meat for our souls, and sustenance for our lives.  Is it too strong to suit us?  Does it burn a little going down?  That’s what happens when you get real food instead of pap.  Sometimes you have to work a little harder at chewing, and a lot harder at digesting, but the nourishment is far greater than anything man has to offer.

            We have ample evidence that God’s word is real, that it was written not by fallible men but by writers inspired by the Holy Spirit to write the words of God.  No other book has ever passed such difficult tests of authenticity as it has. If you want to study those things, I can give you the names of books and authors that will satisfy you in that regard--if you have not already decided not to be satisfied.  For many the Bible is too ordinary, too sensible, not fanciful enough to satisfy their vision of spiritual fulfillment.

            Another reason people want to dismiss the Bible is that it calls them to accountability.  If this is the Truth, I must answer to a Creator for how I have conducted my life.  So many want a belief system that lets them be God by allowing them to decide how they should live, but even they, if they are honest with themselves, eventually see the fallacy in that.  We cannot see above the lip of the hospital tray.  We need someone whose perspective is farther reaching to tell us which road to take, someone who can see the bouillon packet and tell us about it, someone like a God who loves us and only wants what is best for us. 

            Take a good long drink from the Word of God today, and really start to live.
 
Ho, every one that thirsts, come to the waters, and he that has no money; come buy, and eat; yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend money for that which is not bread and your labor for that which satisfies not? Listen diligently unto me, and eat that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Incline your ear, and come unto me; hear, and your soul shall live: and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David, Isa 55:1-3.
 
Dene Ward

I went on my first diet when I was 13.  I lost 15 pounds in two months. I ate so many boiled eggs it’s a wonder I didn’t start cackling.  That was just the beginning.  I bet in my lifetime I have lost a whole person—maybe two. 
For a while I had it under control—I had begun to jog 30 miles a week, and the weight melted off—thirty pounds in 6 months and though a few pounds came back on when I started eating like a human being again and had to cut it down to 20 miles a week due to an increasing load in the studio, I settled into a comfortable weight that stayed that way until my feet gave out on me and two surgeries made jogging impossible.  When I could no longer maintain the new lifestyle, the weight came back on.

            And isn’t that the reason we lose new converts?  Instead of carefully maintaining our contact with them, teaching them, encouraging them, spending time with them one on one and in small groups as well as expecting them to attend the services, we think we’ve “got them” and do nothing.  Especially if these folks have come from a background completely alien to “church,” they will need constant help maintaining their faith.  They will need brothers and sisters to help them change their lifestyles just like I had to find the time for jogging and keep a strict diet too if I were going to maintain my weight loss.  Once I went back, even a little, to the old lifestyle, the weight came back on, and once they go back to their lifestyles, that first excitement will wane and there they go—right back down the road they walked before.  After all, they had walked it a whole lot longer than the new one.

            You know why this happens?  Because we are too busy to spend the time taking care of them.  We do not want to be bothered.  Why, we have lives too, you know.  Is that what we said when we brought a new life into this physical world?  Did we tell our newborns we didn’t have time to feed them, to change them, to get up at all hours in the night to take care of them?  If we had, we would have been no different that the ancient Romans who used to put unwanted babies out on the trash pile.  Infanticide we would call it now.

            And every time we let a new convert slip through the cracks because no one cares enough to spend the time it takes to nurture them along, we are guilty of spiritual infanticide.  Changing your lifestyle is hard.  We need to love these young souls enough to help them with the process.  Gaining back unwanted weight is not nearly so dangerous as gaining back an unholy lifestyle.
 
We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.” Rom 15:1-3                                                                                                                   

Dene Ward

I can’t really believe it.  I was going through all those painful physical therapy exercises you have to do to keep moving when you have injuries or surgeries, and to keep my mind off the pain and the endless repetitions, I flipped on a channel that runs only old shows, about the only kind I can stand to watch any longer.  On a defunct old program I suddenly heard something profound enough to catch my attention.  A character was complaining about his life and how bad he felt.  Another character looked at him and said, “If you want to feel better, take a pill.  If you want to BE better, face the truth about yourself.”

            I stopped mid-rep, losing count completely.  What was that I heard?  I repeated it to myself at least three times so I wouldn’t forget it—maybe—and it was weighty enough a thought that it did stay with me until I could write it down.  “This one I must use sometime,” I thought, and then suddenly realized that God has been using it for millennia, sort of.

            “Face the truth about yourself,” we say.  He says:

            Be not wise in your own eyes…Prov 3:7.

            There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death, Prov 16:25.
            Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart, Prov 21:2.
            There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth, Prov 30:12.
            He feeds on ashes, his deluded mind deceives him, he cannot rescue himself,,,Isa 44:20.
            Let no one deceive himself.  If anyone among you thinks he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise, 1 Cor 3:18.
            For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself, Gal 6:3.
            If anyone thinks he is religious but does not bridle his tongue and deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless, James 1:26.

            Your head should be spinning by now.  How many times have I deceived myself into ignoring rebukes and shunning well-intentioned advice?  And then, when it all falls apart and I am left hurt and weeping, did I ever once stop and think over that advice and those rebukes again and think maybe—just maybe—I should have listened?  Maybe—just maybe—I am not as astute as I seem to think I am.  Oh, I say the right words (“I am not perfect”), but when the fruit reveals itself in my actions, everyone knows I cannot be reasoned with because “My case is different.”  So many people think themselves the exception to the rule that you wonder why God bothered to write a guidebook for us—it doesn’t apply to anyone!  Oh wait, I know why!  For ME to correct everyone else.

            A rebuke should make me stop and consider, not stomp and smolder.  Yes, that is still difficult.  I am not sure it ever becomes easy.  But those scriptures up there say that if I do not consider, the vengeance I wreak with my answering anger to the one who cared enough to try, will only destroy me.

            “If you want to feel better, take a pill.  If you want to BE better, face the truth about yourself.”
 
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. Jas 1:22-25
 
Dene Ward

I had an extra long wait at the doctor’s office recently.  The former retina doctor had found a place in a private practice in Buffalo and moved on.  The new retina doctor was trying to catch up on all the canceled appointments, plus all the emergencies.  Then there was me—my specialist wanted him up to speed on my case so when we needed him in a pinch—a huge risk for all my procedures is retina detachment--he would know what was going on.  So I had plenty of time to look around at my fellow patients.

            A small-statured elderly couple sat discussing where to go for lunch.  Since it was only 9 am I knew they were experienced at waiting in this clinic.  A young black woman in gray pants and white top, sported a huge bandage on one eye and was obviously nervous—she sat bouncing one leg almost uncontrollably.  Another man, white haired and just as obviously not worried, dozed in his blue chair.  A forty something woman, a new patient it looked like, sat hunched over, filling out one of those seemingly endless forms on a clipboard.  A middle aged man in a gray fleece jacket wore the heavy dark glasses of a cataract patient.  A stylish young Hispanic woman in a brown pantsuit and heels chattered on a cell phone.  A sixty something woman in a gray coat sat reading a book, chuckling every few minutes.  A young couple sat together, too quiet, holding a sleeping infant, and occasionally looking at one another with large frightened eyes.  Something was wrong with their precious child and they were afraid of what it might be.

            We were all there for the same reason—to see a man labeled a great physician by his own medical association.  Each one of us had our own anxieties and our ways of dealing with them.  None of us had any thought for the others at all.  I think that may be the problem with some churches.  None of the members have any idea of the problems the others are going through and they really don’t want to know either.  Is that how we think the church is supposed to work?

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith, Rom 12:10,13,15,16; Gal 6:10.

          We cannot fulfill those commandments without knowing one another.  We cannot fulfill those commandments without taking down the privacy fences and sharing our problems with one another.  We cannot fulfill those commandments without building a sense of trust in one another, a safe place where we know our problems will be held in confidence and not judged by self-righteous hypocrites.

            We are all here to see the Great Physician.  Whether we want to admit it or not, we all need him and the forgiveness and grace he offers.  But one of the rules in his waiting room is, “In as much as you have done it to the least of these my brethren you have done it also to me,” Matt 25:40.  If I want his help, I must offer it to others.  If I want his help, I must not be too proud to accept it from others.  If I want his help, I must join in with all who want his help, caring even more about them than I do myself.  We cannot sit here ignoring one another, each in his own world, and expect to have our turn in his office.  He will simply cancel the appointment.
 
And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints, 1 Thes 3:12,13.
 
Dene Ward

It started the night before, a strong pain in my lower abdomen, a little lower than an appendix might be, I thought, so I ruled that out, and slowly it began to subside and I managed a little sleep that Saturday night.  The next morning all was fine, but just as I finished dressing for morning services, it started again, even stronger this time and it gradually spread up over my right hip and around to my back.  Suddenly memories came flooding back to me.  I had two 9+ pound baby boys, one 21 inches and the other 22, and they were both posterior—“sunny side up.”  That meant all my labor was back labor, and here for the first time in over 35 years, I was having it again.
 
           “Kidney stones,” my doctor told me and sent me straight to the emergency room.  Notice that:  “emergency” room.  Doesn’t that mean everyone should be hustling around to make this pain go away?  But no, I had to answer a couple dozen questions, then list medications, then get the vitals, all while leaning over trying not to groan too loudly, before I even got my own little room in the back. 
             
            And what happened there?  More waiting while people strolled around, talking to one another about their Saturday night fun, ostensibly giving orders on my behalf but no one treating it like orders.  And while I lay curled in a fetal position in that sterile little room on that narrow gurney, surrounded by stainless steel trays on which stood clear glass jars of cotton balls and swabs, pink plastic tubs, bedpans, blue open-backed hospital gowns, and plastic squeeze bottles of clear, blue, and orange liquids, up on the wall for my amusement hung a television.  SpongeBob SquarePants cavorted soundlessly with his fellow weirdos.  Really?  SpongeBob?  This is how you treat an emergency?  I lay there strongly tempted to start my Lamaze breathing—if I could only remember how to do it.  Maybe if I actually gave birth, someone would notice.

           Of course that was not a life-threatening emergency, even if it did feel like one.  I am sure if my heart had stopped, someone would have come running.  At least I hope so.  But isn’t that exactly the way we treat soul-threatening emergencies all the time?  No big deal.  We’ve got time to talk to him.  We’ve got time to teach them the gospel.  We’ve got time to bring that lost sheep back to the fold before a wolf gets him for good.  Do we?

             I understand “speaking truth in love” and I do my best to do that all the time.  But some people define that so narrowly that sin-sick people do not get the treatment they need for their desperately—terminally—ill souls.  Our culture has raised a generation that cannot take correction of any kind unless it is so camouflaged it completely slips past them as correction.  “Woe is me.  Someone dared to tell me I was wrong about something.  Someone actually hurt my feelings by rebuking me.  Poor little me.”  And in society in general, that means the corrector is rebuked, usually unjustly, and the one in the wrong gets off scot free—in fact, he usually becomes a hero.  “Look at the poor mistreated miscreant who stands against injustice!”  And let’s riot a little if such doesn’t occur.  Don’t think for a minute it doesn’t happen in the church. 

           And so instead of treating him like someone in need of emergency care, we give him a comfortable little room with SpongeBob prancing on the TV, followed by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as I recall—I was in there for both of those two shows and the beginnings of another before my problem was even diagnosed (even though we already knew what it was) and dealt with.  Good thing it was kidney stones.  I wasn’t likely to die of that.  But there are souls out there who need a good dose of medicine to even have a chance of saving them, and we’re just patting their hands and watching TV with them while they fade off into an eternity in Hell.
 
And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh. Jude 1:22-23
 
Dene Ward

The other morning I noticed Chloe’s left ear sagging to the side.  No matter what was going on or how excited she was, that ear would not stand up as it normally did, over half as tall as her head in the manner of all Australian cattle dogs’ ears.  She reminded me of the antenna that sat on top of our television when I was a child, one leg of it straight up in the air, and the other at nearly ninety degrees.

            Then she started scratching at it and shaking her head and I knew—ear mites.  So we searched through the cabinet until we found the white squeeze bottle of ear mite treatment.  We had never used it on her so she came willingly, even when she saw us with the bottle.  In fact, we had not used it in so long that it took a while to get any out of the bottle, and then when it came, it came with a rush, completely filling her ear canal.  We held her long and massaged it in, but it was still too much.  As soon as we let go she shook her head and slung a big glop of it right into my eye.

            Canine ear mite medicine is not made for human eyeballs.  I rushed inside half blinded and flushed my eye for several minutes, then used up several vials of saline completely clearing the stuff out of my burning eye.  I think the contact lens helped shield it, or it might have been much worse.

            Some things don’t need medicating, especially with the wrong medicine, and some things we think need our ministrations just need to be left alone.

            John said unto him, Teacher, we saw one casting out demons in your name; and we forbade him, because he followed not us. But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man who shall do a mighty work in my name, and be able quickly to speak evil of me. For he that is not against us is for us, Mark 9:38-40.

            Many times we disagree with a brother about a subject that makes no difference at all in our ability to worship together.  Many times we disagree with each other about things that seem fairly important, but we can still sit on the same pew and worship our God in complete harmony.  The disharmony is caused only when we make something out of it.  As long as your beliefs do not hinder me from mine, where is the problem?  As long as I do not force mine on you as a condition of fellowship when it shouldn’t be, why can’t we get along?  You say you see something you believe might lead to a problem?  As long as it isn’t one, don’t force the issue.  Don’t deliberately do something that will bring discord into the family of God and call it “fighting for the truth,” when it is only wrangling about words or, at its heart, bickering about power.

            Sometimes we need to remember the Lord’s reply to his overzealous disciples:  “He that is not against us is for us.”  And we especially need to remember his absolute loathing of anything and anyone who disrupts the unity of his body.  Paul tells us in Ephesians 2 that Christ came to create unity, and that we are “one new man,” “one body,” “fellow citizens,” and “a family.” Why did he do that?  So that we might “grow into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom ye also are built together for a habitation of God.”  The God of peace cannot dwell in a temple that is not at peace.  We destroy the mission of Christ when we make it so.

            Be careful about diagnosing others’ beliefs.  Be careful about making things matters of spiritual life and death, when they are simply non-life-threatening “bugs.”  Maybe by our sitting together every Sunday, studying together with respect for one another instead of accusations, we can come even closer to agreement on those very bugs, and they will run their course and disappear.
 
One man esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike.  Let each man be fully assured in his own mind…Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, "As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." So then each of us will give an account of himself to God, Rom 14:5, 10-12.
 
Dene Ward

After one particular surgery a few years ago, I had bled far more than the surgeon expected.  I needed a transfusion, he said, but given the state of the world these days, and the fact that a couple pints would have done the job, he took the conservative approach instead.  For the next few months I took a prescription iron pill, one more easily absorbed by the body than the over the counter varieties.  I don’t claim to know the entire effects of “running a quart low,” but I do know this.  I started every day tired and it only got worse.  And I was constantly cold.  Even though it was summer in Florida, I was wrapped in a blanket most of the time.

            Aside from the obvious Biblical applications about atoning blood, I find another worth mentioning.  John 6 is not about the Lord’s Supper.  John 6 is about commitment. 

            A sizable crowd had begun following Jesus on a regular basis.  They had been hanging around long enough to see several miracles, hear several parables, even be fed at his hand from five small loaves of bread and a couple of fish.  It was time, Jesus decided, to ask them to be more than hangers on, more than groupies enamored with the publicity of the local celebrity.

            Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. 6:53-55.

            Far from believing he meant this literally, I think when they said things like, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” they were just trying to avoid the obvious.  They were not in this for the long haul.  They didn’t want to get that involved.  They just wanted something fun and interesting to do for a few days.

            Jesus forced them to a decision.  This is not something you can do half-heartedly.  This is not something you can do while giving a lot of yourself to something else too.  I must be your sustenance, he was saying to them.  Nothing else should matter to you. 

            And they knew exactly what he meant. After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him, v 66. 

            I am afraid some of us are not even that honest.  We want to pretend we are living off the Lord, eating and drinking him night and day, when it is merely a pleasant pastime on the weekends, a source of comfort should a family member become ill, and a handy group for wedding and baby showers.  (Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves, v 26.)  The Lord tells us we might as well leave with the rest of the crowd.

            Why?  Because when we are running a quart low of Jesus, we will be too weak to withstand temptations and trials.  When we are running a quart low, our zeal will eventually grow cold.  We need as much of him as we can hold to overcome, to grow, and to change our characters, ready to live faithfully even to the point of death.  We cannot do it any other way. 

            Lev 17:11 says, “The life of flesh is in the blood.”  I have a new appreciation of that fact since that long summer of anemia.  Don’t make yourself spiritually anemic, and then expect God to reward you with eternal life.
 
As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever." John 6:57,58.
 
Dene Ward

A couple of years back one of my “world’s first” surgeries left me seeing spinning black and silver pinwheels, especially in bright light.  My Cincinnati doctor was convinced I had a congenital brain blood vessel malformation which would require brain surgery to correct.  The only way to know was an MRI, something I had never had before.  I left the house with little concern.  As much as I had already been through, what could be worse?

            So I was not prepared for the nurse to put a helmet on me that completely covered my face, stuffing it with dark gray foam to keep my head still.  In about 5 seconds I was clawing at it, grunting, “off, off, off, off, off,” increasing in volume and speed as I went.  She took it off immediately.  “Are you claustrophobic?” she asked. 

            Yes I am.  One of the worst parts about many of the procedures I have had to go through with these sick eyeballs is the sheet over my face.  The only way I manage is to prepare beforehand, then steel myself all the way through the procedure for as long as three hours at a time.  But in this case no one had warned me so I was not ready.
           
             I remembered that episode recently when I was studying 2 Cor 5:11.  Knowing therefore the fear of the Lord, we persuade men… Lately it has been anathema to talk about fear and God in the same sentence.  “Fear” has become “reverential awe,” or the even more mealy-mouthed “respect.”  “God doesn’t want us to be afraid of Him,” pops up in every conversation on the subject.  So I decided to check this word out.

            As I often do, I checked several translations.  The King James gave me a big clue in the above passage.  Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord…  Somehow “terror” does not easily lend itself to the idea of simple respect.  After that I looked up the word in a concordance.  “Fear” in the Greek is “phobos.”  Do you see it?  We get our English word “phobia” from that one.  The definition in Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words is “that which scares you enough to make you run away.  In the gospels it is always associated with dread and terror.”  Do you have a real phobia?  Would you call that horrible feeling that turns you into a whimpering coward, “respect?”

            Next step in study--how else is it used in the Bible? 
Matt 10:28--And fear not them which kill the body but are not able to kill the soul, but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both body and soul in hell.
Matt 27:54-- Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God. If you suddenly figured out that you had just killed the Son of God, would you be feeling respect or terror?

            And in the Septuagint?

Psalm 55:5--Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me.

Isa 19:16-- In that day shall the Egyptians be like unto women; and they shall tremble and fear because of the shaking of the hand of Jehovah of hosts...

            I found many, many more passages that clearly show the meaning of phobos.  So when Peter tells us to “fear God” in 1 Peter 2:17, the fact that the word is the same one, helps me to understand that real fear, the kind that makes you run away and hide, is an appropriate reaction to God, even from His own people.

            Yes, God does want a relationship borne of love as motivation, but there is nothing second rate about the fear motivation.  Just in case the love is not enough, for the times when temptation is strong and we are weak, remember the fear.  Paul did in the passage we started with.  He knew the terror that awaited those who do not know God and it motivated him to preach.  Are we any better than that great disciple? 

            If you do not “get it,” if you do not understand who and what God really is-- our Creator, the most powerful Being, the one who, with one thought, could cause you to cease to exist--you will never really have the proper respect either.  It most certainly is not the same respect you have for your earthly father.  Even your “reverential awe” will be incomplete, and you will certainly never understand how amazing it is that such a Being could ever love us like He does.
 
A man that has set aside the law of Moses dies without compassion on the word of two or three witnesses: of how much sorer punishment, do you think, shall he be judged worthy, who has trodden under foot the Son of God, and has counted the blood of the covenant wherewith he was sanctified an unholy thing, and has done despite unto the Spirit of grace? For we know him that said, Vengeance belongs unto me, I will recompense. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God, Heb 10:28-31.
 
Dene Ward

This morning I kept swatting at a pesky gnat that would not go away until I realized it was just another floater.  Usually light reflects back from your retina through the transparent vitreous humor.  With age, the vitreous humor (aka eyeball jelly) can begin to solidify into tiny little chunks that cast a shadow forward, making it seem that spots are floating out in front of, not inside, your eyeball.

            However, trauma can cause floaters too—surgeries followed by complications followed by treatment for the complications, in my case hundreds of lasers zaps.  Pieces of the retina come loose and float in the humor casting the same shadows as the less ominous floaters.  Now that one eye has a “shallow detached retina” which not even some of the best doctors in the world want to try to fix until it completely detaches, too much exertion can cause that small detachment to tug yet more pieces of retina loose.

            Yet at one point there was one good thing about floaters.  I could easily gauge my eye pressure with them.  Normally there is no way to know that your pressure is increasing until it is almost too late.  By the time your vision has clouded over, your head is aching, and your innards are heaving themselves inside out, it is a real emergency.

            It’s not supposed to work that way, but for me, at least in the early stages of this eye crisis, it proved an early warning system:  If a floater stayed for days, I needed to make an appointment immediately.  Floaters can make me dizzy and a little nauseated, besides being just plain annoying, but the warning was worth it.  Imagine if I had not gone in the third day I had the same floater in exactly the same place.  Normal pressure is roughly 10-18, without medication.  When I got to the eye clinic the pressure in that eye was 65, even with heavy medication.  I had no idea except for that persistent floater. 

            I think spiritual floaters are the same way.  I hear people berating themselves because they wrestle with a certain problem.  You know what?  At least they know the problem is there. Too many times we ignore the “floaters” and go right along thinking we are just fine.  That little spot isn’t important; it certainly won’t cost me my soul.  Won’t it?  If I see it there and don’t even try to fix it, doesn’t that make me a willful sinner?  And if I don’t even recognize it when it is there, isn’t that even more dangerous?

            Yes, floaters are aggravating.  But in the past they gave me a way to know what I needed to do and when I needed to do it.  I knew better than to ignore them.  I still have floaters, but they don’t work like that any longer, and I really wish they did.

            Do you see any floaters in your spiritual life? Keep an eye on them.  Get help when you need it.  If “struggling” is where you are, be glad your conscience is still sensitive and be grateful for God’s grace working in your life.  It’s the ones who aren’t struggling who need to worry.
 
And everyone who strives in the games exercises self-control in all things.  Now they do it to receive a corruptible crown, but we an incorruptible.  I therefore so run, as not uncertainly; so fight I as not beating the air; but I buffet my body daily and bring it into bondage lest by any means after I have preached to others, I myself should be rejected, 1 Cor 9:25-27.
 
Dene Ward