Psalms

90 posts in this category

The Quiet Ones

Years ago I sang in the evening chorus at the university.  Chorus was required for my degree, and this was the only chorus that fit my schedule, a schedule that included teaching private piano lessons, running a home, and interning as a music teacher in a local elementary school.  Add to that, I was a preacher’s wife—just learning, as he was, but still dealing with extra obligations.
    We had a program scheduled and the director called an extra rehearsal.  That rehearsal did not fit my schedule.  I would have had to cancel a few lessons and more important, miss a Wednesday evening Bible study.  He made it clear that no misses would be excused short of death beds.  So I took a deep breath when I broached the lion in his den the next afternoon.
    My heart sank when I saw three others waiting outside his office.  Instead of calling us in one by one, he came out and stood in the hall and listened as the first one asked to be excused.  “Absolutely not!” he said sternly.  “You already miss too many rehearsals.  If you don’t show up, you will be dismissed from the chorus.”  The next one received a similar reply and the next.  They all left, crestfallen.
    Then he saw me at the back of the line.  “If you have to dismiss me, I understand,” I began, “but my husband is a preacher and we have a Bible study that night.  I just cannot miss it.”  
    I was shocked when a small smile twitched at his lips.  “You I don’t worry about,” he said quietly.  “You are always there.  You listen when I give directions.  You know your part.  You haven’t missed a single performance.  Go to your Bible study.  You still have a place in my chorus.” Talk about relief.  I drove home praising God in my heart.
    Have you read Psalm 123?  That psalm is classified as a psalm of trust, written on behalf of the entire nation of Israel.  Many psalms are full of hallelujahs, with shouts of Hosanna, with dancing and leaping and loud expressions of joy.  Not this one.  Psalm 123 is a quiet psalm.  It is presented as servants watching quietly from the corner of the room for the smallest sign from the master that he wants something.  
    Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he has mercy upon us, v 2.
    Leupold says, “There is nothing powerful, moving or sublime that finds expression here.  A quiet, submissive tone prevails throughout.  It is subdued in character.”  This is simply a servant doing his master’s will in an unobtrusive manner, calmly asking for relief but going about his duty even in the midst of trial, trusting that his prayer will be answered without his further interference.
    I like this psalm.  I have never been one who needs to demonstrate my love for God loudly, yet everyone knows it is there simply from the way I live my life.  If my chorus director could know I was a “faithful student” despite the fact that I was quiet instead of boisterous, certainly God can know the same about my spiritual life.
    God, the Father of spirits, made all kinds of personalities.  And because He made them, he accepts them—just look at the apostles and all their differences.  If He will accept that varied crew, He will accept my worship, even if it is quiet and restrained, as long as my emotion and intent are sincere and obedient.
    Nowadays it seems people are quick to judge others as less thankful, less sincere, and less loving if they sit quietly and say little aloud about their feelings.  This psalm says it isn’t so.  If I sit quietly in the corner waiting for my master’s smallest cue, I may, in fact, be a whole lot more likely to see it than someone who can’t sit still long enough to notice, or be quiet long enough to hear someone besides himself.   
    We are all different, yet God accepts all worship that is “in spirit and in truth,” the brash, the boisterous, even the analytical and the subdued.  Perhaps our judgments of one another should be more subdued as well.

But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious
, 1 Pet 3:4.

Dene Ward

The Cream of the Crop

Let me tell you a sad story.
    A long time ago, Keith had one of those “try-out” visits that churches offer preachers.  I’ve often wondered whether these things would go better if the church considered itself being “tried out” that weekend as well, but that’s another blog for another time.
    We had lunch and spent the afternoon with a couple who would probably have been considered “pillars” of the church, primarily because they were better educated, had more money, and could quote more scriptures.  
    The church sat smack dab in the middle of farm country amid acres of melons, corn, peas, and tobacco.  Most of the members lived in old frame farmhouses and had dropped out of or barely completed high school.  A remark was made about the church members that gave me pause, but I was very young, wrestling with a two year old and an infant so I didn’t trust myself to have good judgment on the matter or even to have heard it well enough to comment on, so I let it pass.
    I shouldn’t have.  We hadn’t been there six months before the same woman told me I needed to meet the “cream of the crop” in the county.  She proceeded to take me to a gathering of what she considered such women.  Having grown up with parents who told me that the best people in the world were those who sat on the pew next to you on Sunday mornings, I was shocked to see who this Christian considered “elite.”  
    As we ate our finger sandwiches and mingled, I discovered that they all had money, judging from their dress and jewelry, and later the vehicles they left in.  Most were professionals or married to one.  Some of the others were farmers all right, but not hardscrabble farmers or sharecroppers.  These farmers owned large farms or ranches, big business enterprises, or had inherited both the farms and the money from generations past.  And notice this--we were the only Christians there.
    Now consider David’s statement in Psalm 16:3.  As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.  David took delight in the saints in Israel, their social class notwithstanding.  
    Where do I find “social class” in that verse?  The word translated “excellent” in the psalm is translated “nobles” in 2 Chron 23:20 (KJV), and they are grouped with high ranking military officers and governors.  In Judges 5:15 it is translated “lordly.”  Jer 25:34 calls them “principals of the flock” and Psalm 136:18 says they are “famous.”  Just to make sure you know who we are talking about, Nehemiah complains in 3:5 that those “nobles” were too good to work like the common folk.  Now do you know who we’re talking about?  
    Our culture idolizes the cult of the rich and famous—how they dress, how they talk, how they live.  We call them “America’s royalty.”  We do the same when we show partiality in the church based upon wealth, popularity, education, and social status.  It is a tacit admission that we consider ourselves better than our brothers and sisters who do not have such “assets.”  It is the opposite of “each counting the other better than himself,” Phil 2:3.
    David says the true “nobles,” the “excellent ones,” are the people who fear God, who live the life they preach, with justice, fairness, kindness, goodness, and grace.  These people “delight” him.  Now ask yourself:  who do I spend most of my time with, especially in the church?  Are we as wise as David?
    One of the common questions in an interview is, “Who would you like to have dinner with?”  Journalists choose that question because the answer tells a whole lot more about that person than they seem to realize.  The person you want to eat with is the one you want to develop a relationship with, the one who interests you, the one you might even model your life after.  The answer to that question shows who you consider the aristocracy in your world.
    Who is on your list?
    
The righteous is a guide to his neighbor; But the way of the wicked causes them to err, Prov 12:26.

Dene Ward

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A Bad Mood

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!  Psalm 107:1

    Have you ever had a friend who made you wonder how you would be greeted and treated on any particular day?  Have you ever had a boss who one minute nominated you for employee of the year and the next left you in fear of losing your job?  Have you yourself ever woke up one morning and bitten everyone’s head off just for being alive and daring to smile?
    Moody people are difficult to deal with.  You never know how to act.  You never know what to say and not to say.  In fact, you do your best to avoid people like that if at all possible.  And when you recognize that you have done it to others, you loathe yourself for it.  It isn’t right; it isn’t fair; it certainly isn’t kind.
    This brings me to the verse at the top, a promise we all too often read without thinking, as if it were a meaningless refrain.  “His steadfast love endures forever.”  It isn’t just that God will love us forever, though that is reason enough to praise Him.  That word “endure” also carries with it the idea that His love is consistent and will never waver.  You will never find God in a bad mood.  
    You don’t have to worry that one day He has a headache and might be a little short-tempered.  He won’t ever get up on the wrong side of bed and snap at you because you dared to talk to Him before He had His morning cup of coffee.  He won’t decide on a whim one morning to hand you a pink slip.  God’s love is consistent—nothing can cause it to vacillate as long as you serve Him with all your heart.
    If we truly want to be more like Him, we should love Him the same way—whether the day brings good or ill, whether we feel well or not, and even when we suffer.  It’s not like He didn’t suffer for us, and not only did His love not waver then, it is precisely because of His unwavering love for us that He suffered.
    And if we want to serve Him, maybe we should do our best to get past those bad moods we foist on others.  There is no excuse for pettiness, for mean-spiritedness, for spite and malice, no matter what we are going through at the time, certainly not because we just happen to be in a bad mood that day.  As servants, we don’t have the right to be in a bad mood--we must be in the mood to love and serve Him every day, which means, according to Matthew 25, loving and serving others that way.  
    Unwavering, eternal love—that’s what He gives, and that is what we should return.  

Love is patient and kind
it is not arrogant or rude. It is not irritable or resentful
 1 Cor 13:4-6.

Dene Ward

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Confining God

The earth is Jehovah's, and the fulness thereof; The world, and they that dwell therein. For he has founded it upon the seas, And established it upon the floods, Psalm 24:1,2.

    Many scholars believe that the twenty-fourth psalm was written by David to celebrate the arrival of the Ark of the Covenant to his new capital, Jerusalem.  When you read 1 Chronicles 13 and 15 and see the great amount of singing and worshipping going on, and then read the words to this psalm, that supposition makes good sense, and the ancient writings of the rabbis attest to it as well.
    However, even here at the beginning of the psalm David sees a danger in settling this manifestation of God’s presence in one location—the people would be tempted to think that God was stuck there, that He did not reign over the rest of the earth, much less any other people.  So he begins this psalm with the passage above to remind them that God could not be put in a literal box, and certainly not in a figurative box of one’s own expectations and understanding.  God made the whole world, and therefore rules the whole world and every person on it.
    David was right to be so concerned.  Ezekiel spent several of his opening chapters trying to get the same point across to the captives in Babylon by the river Chebar, who believed that God was no longer with them, but still back in Jerusalem.  He is right here with you, Ezekiel told them.  That is the point of that amazing vision in chapter one—God can be anywhere at any time.
    Do you think we don’t have the same problem?  We keep trying to put God in a box called a church building or a meetinghouse or whatever your own bias leans toward calling it.  That’s why we have people who compartmentalize their religion.  They think “church” is all about what happens at the building, and the change in their behavior when they leave that building is the proof of it. 
    A man who can recite the “plan of salvation” in Bible class will cheat his customers to his own gain during the week.
    A woman who can quote proof texts verbatim on Sunday morning will turn around and gossip over the phone every other day of the week.
    A couple who appears every time the door is opened will carry on a running feud with a neighbor and treat each other as if none of the passages in the New Testament apply to anyone with the same last name. 
    What? God asked His people.  Will you act like the heathen around you six days a week “and then come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, ‘We are delivered!’—only to go on doing all these abominations?”  Jer 7:10.  David used the middle of this psalm to remind the people who was fit to come before the presence of the LORD—only men of holiness, honesty, and integrity, not just on the Sabbath, but always. 
    Because they put God in a box called after the covenant He made with them, they thought that their behavior only counted in His presence, forgetting the lessons that both David and Solomon had tried to teach them—God cannot be confined to anything manmade, not even the most magnificent Temple ever built by men, much less a comparatively miniscule box.  As David proclaimed in finishing Psalm 24, Who is this King of glory? The LORD, strong and mighty, the LORD, mighty in battle!...The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory! — Selah. 
    Selah--pause, and feel the impact.

Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the LORD and righteousness from the God of his salvation, Psa 24:3-5.

Dene Ward

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Wake Up Call

When I was very small, my favorite song was “Wake Up, Little Susie.”  I am probably dating myself with that admission.  In case you are from a different generation, the song was about a young couple who fell asleep during their movie date, and were afraid of what people might think.  
    Psalm 103 is David’s version of the song—one he is singing to himself.  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, vv 1-2.  I found it difficult to see that “wake up” admonition, I admit.  But every commentator I checked, five of them, saw it clear as a bell.  One likened it to Psalm 42:5:  Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.  That one is much easier to see.  Why are you so depressed, he asks himself, when you have the salvation offered by God?  Now look again at 103:  Bless the Lord
and forget not his benefits.”
    For isn’t that exactly what we do?  We go along in our ordinary, normal lives, nothing important happens, nothing exciting happens, and we become complacent in our service and even a little despondent in our ordinariness, and forget what God has done for us.  But just think about this morning.  You woke up in your comfortable bed (check) in your comfortable house (check), possibly next to your beloved (check).  You ate a breakfast from a pantry and refrigerator full of possibilities (check).  You stood in front of a closet and chose from among all those clothes what you wanted to wear (check).  You might have gotten in your car (check) and driven to school or work or the store without mishap (check).  How many blessings is that already that you never even noticed?  How many more will you receive the rest of the day, and still not notice?
    â€œForget not his benefits!” David reminds himself—and later on the people of Israel, and ultimately us.  Why is it that when something bad happens we will blame God, but never think to give Him credit for all the good we enjoy nearly every single minute of the day?  “Wake up and praise the Lord!”
    And then there is this:  while God gives us brethren to encourage us, David shows us that in the final analysis, we are responsible for our own rousing.  We cannot blame the church, we cannot blame the elders, we cannot blame our families if we fall into hopelessness and despair—it’s my business to see myself clearly, to notice when I need a nudge or a prod or even a kick in the rear.  And after I have awakened, then I will follow David’s example of leadership and wake others too.  
    Which is what this has been, I hope—wake up little Susie, or Joey, or Charlie, or Cathy, or whatever your name may be.  Do not forget the benefits of being God’s child.  Always count your blessings, no matter how trite that may seem.  David did.  He’s not a bad leader to follow.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change, James 1:17.
    
Dene Ward

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The Waters Prevailed

We live on a hillside.  You don’t really notice it when you first drive onto the property.  The hill is shallow as hills go, dropping about twenty feet in five hundred.  In another climate one would seldom think anything of it.  But in Florida, in the summer, torrential downpours are common.  Not too long ago we had two and a half inches come down in less than thirty minutes.  Two or three days before we had six inches, but it took all day to accumulate that.  When nearly half that much pours out of the sky in such a short time, you feel like ten have fallen instead.
    It was as if a giant bucket were being upended over us.  We could hardly see the blueberries only hundred feet away.  The roar on the metal roof was deafening.  The rushing water overwhelmed the culvert in the drive and washed over the road and out to the garden where it ran against the berm in a narrow creek.  We had built that berm precisely because of rains like this one—we were tired of wading “downstream” to rescue washed away garden plants. 
    Eventually we left the porch which was not much shelter in a rain like that—the merest breeze left us damp and shivering, even in the summer.  So we stepped back inside and looked out the windows to the north.  Now you could really tell—we are definitely on a hill.  Water ran like a river across the entire width of the yard, from the front steps to the fence, ten to twelve inches deep.  We watched leaves, twigs, and moss float “downstream” to the run on the east side of the property.  After the rain stopped, it kept running, draining the whole hillside, for another hour.
    A week after that rain, I walked the path the water had taken.  Leaves were washed into piles a foot deep along the runnel.  Limbs hung up on some of the bushes but others, dragged by the running water, lay piled up against the fence which had acted as a sieve as the water ran through it.  Channels several inches deep marked the dried mud, and the grass was still bent over in the direction the water had flowed.  Running water is powerful.
    The flood continued forty days on the earth. The waters increased and bore up the ark, and it rose high above the earth. The waters prevailed and increased greatly on the earth, and the ark floated on the face of the waters. And the waters prevailed so mightily on the earth that all the high mountains under the whole heaven were covered. The waters prevailed above the mountains, covering them fifteen cubits deep, Gen 7:17-20.
    The waters of the great Flood “prevailed.”  Those waters not only covered the earth, they drowned every living creature on it that was not in the ark or swimming in the newly created worldwide ocean.  Have you ever seen a flash flood?  Have you ever heard the stories of one?  No one can win against those “prevailing” waters.  If you try to hang on to something, you simply wear out and are washed downstream. 
    The same word is used in Ex 17:11: So Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed.  We are talking about winning a war with that word; that’s the strength implied in its use.  It should be no surprise that “prevailed” is also translated “strong” and “mighty.”
    So why is that important?  Because the same Hebrew word is used in Psalm 117:2.  For great is His steadfast love toward us.  God’s love for us is strong; it is mighty.  It is like rushing water that carries along everything in its path.  It is like an army winning a war.  Sometimes we seem to doubt that.  “But I’ve been so bad,” we say, “how can God love me?”  He can love you because His love is great. It can prevail against the worst of sins.
    The next time you doubt it, think about flood waters, think about an army that can win a war.  God’s love is just like those things.  It prevails over all.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord, Rom 8:38,39.

Dene Ward

Blessing God

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Psalm 103:1

    In our Psalms class we came upon this call from David to bless Jehovah, a wake-up call directed first to himself as he sat complacent and satisfied with his ho-hum worship, and then later to the people who were following their king’s lead.  The question quite naturally arose then, how can a man bless God?  So we did a little research.
    Your first thought might be that there are two distinct words for “bless”—one for God blessing men and one for men blessing God.  Not true.  Both are the same Hebrew word.  It doesn’t take a Hebrew scholar to look at the anglicized word barak in several different verses and see that it is indeed the same word.
    Here is something else we discovered with but a small amount of time searching the scriptures:  “bless” usually does not involve physical things.  We tend to think that way in our all too materialistic culture.  When asked to count our blessings, what do we list?  When we ask God to bless us, what do we expect?  Yet in the scriptures, I found that well over half the times the word “bless” was used it involved nothing more than what we might call “well wishes,” wanting good to happen to the other person.  Now think about the opposite—if someone curses a person, what is it exactly that he wants?  He wants evil to befall that person.  We understand that perfectly fine; the problem comes when we think a blessing always involves a tangible gift.  Of course we cannot do that for God, but we can give God other “blessings.”
    We checked out over 300 verses using the word “bless,” many of which involved men blessing God.  It helped enormously when we saw the various ways that word is translated in the KJV.  In fact, some of these things completely lost their punch in the newer versions.  Let that be a lesson to you not to completely ignore those older versions.  They lasted a long time for a good reason.
    Five times the word is translated “salute.”  In the newer versions that word is translated “greet.”  There is a world of difference between saluting someone and simply saying hello.  Salutations involve respect.  Especially in 1 Sam 25:14 the difference between David’s men “saluting” Nabal and just greeting him color how we view Nabal’s reaction—it was completely out of line if he had been saluted.
    One time the word is translated “congratulate” (1 Chron 18:10).  When do you usually congratulate someone?  When he has received an accolade or a well-deserved award.  This word involves honor.
    One time the word barak is translated “thanks.”  This denotes gratitude and appreciation.
    Three times it is translated “kneel” or some variation of it.  That word signifies humility and submission.  
    All of these are other English words used to translate the word “bless” found in Psalm 103:1, Bless God, O my soul.  So how do we as mere mortal men bless an Eternal and Almighty God?  We show respect, we give Him honor, we appreciate the things He has done for us, and with humility we submit our lives to Him.
    Can a disobedient person bless God?  Read that last paragraph again.  No, he cannot.  Can a self-righteous person bless God?  No, not a chance in the world.  Can a half-hearted Christian, who somehow thinks there is a minimum he can do to get by bless God?  None of those things show honor, respect, gratitude, and humility.  
    Be careful before you read Psalm 103.  It demands a whole lot more than most people want to give.

Then David said to all the assembly, “Bless the LORD your God.” And all the assembly blessed the LORD, the God of their fathers, and bowed their heads and paid homage to the LORD and to the king, 1 Chron 29:20.

Dene Ward

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Godly Sorrow--Comparing Psalms 51 and 32

I’ve known a lot of people who seem to think that true repentance is shown by moping around in a depressed state for weeks on end, as if the longer they beat themselves up the more worthy they are of forgiveness.  If we have learned anything in our Psalms study lately, it’s just the opposite.  

    David shows us in the progression of repentance that occurs between Psalms 51 and 32 that we should “get over it;” that a failure to do so is harmful to our souls.

    In our class we charted the verses in those two psalms.  We found similar things in each:  repentance, the effects of sin, and the effects that God’s forgiveness ought to have in our lives.  Guess what we discovered?  In Psalm 51, obviously written within a short time after Nathan’s visit to David in 2 Sam 12, even though at that time Nathan proclaimed God’s forgiveness, David is fraught with guilt and sorrow, even physically ailing from that burden of regret.  He uses every synonym you can imagine for sin and his plea for mercy.  In our modern divisions, those pleas take up seven verses.  Another three describe his woeful emotional and physical state after finally recognizing the enormity and complexity of what he has done, a total of ten verses.

    Yes, he finally recognizes his forgiveness and spends three verses on his desire to get back to work for the Lord and on his concern for others, a general list of things he plans to carry out as “fruit meet for repentance.”  

    And Psalm 32?  This psalm is much less emotional.  David repents yet again, but in two verses this time instead of ten.  Does that mean it is not as heartfelt?  Of course not, but his focus has changed.  This time he spends most of the psalm recounting what he has learned from his sin and how to avoid it in the future.  Listen to instruction, hear counsel, consider and come to an understanding, learn to control yourself.  He has gone past emotion and is now using the experience to gain wisdom and strength.  Then he spends more time in concern for others, that they learn the same lessons he has. Finally he shouts for joy, the joy found in forgiveness and a renewed fellowship with God.  This section takes up four verses of an eleven verse psalm, where in 51 we are looking at three verses of a nineteen verse psalm.  Those four verses in Psalm 32 are far more practical and helpful to us in terms of overcoming than the ones in 51, where his grief over his sin is the focus.  

    By the time of Psalm 32’s writing, David has learned an invaluable lesson—though indeed his sin was “ever before me,” he understood that allowing one’s grief to paralyze him and pull him down into despondency was as much an aid to Satan as sinning in the first place.  He was no longer serving God; he was no longer serving others.  In fact, he was bringing others down with his depression.  There is a selfishness in this sort of sorrow that is completely inappropriate—a “worldly” sorrow.

    Grief is certainly fitting.  I wonder if we ever experience the kind of grief David did over sin, especially as shown in Psalm 51.  If we did, perhaps we would sin less.  But there comes a time when we must “get over it” and get back to work.  “Restore unto me the joy of your salvation,” David says (51:12).   “Be glad in the Lord and rejoice,” and “Shout for joy!” (32:11). Sitting in sackcloth and ashes for the rest of your life, David is telling us, is not the way to show gratitude for your forgiveness.   

For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter, 2 Cor 7:8-11.

Dene Ward

When Soap Doesn't Work

    I was 18, but I might as well have been 12.  Looking back I can see the warning signs, but as naĂŻve as I was then I was blind to them.

    The summer between my freshman and sophomore college years I had found a job not far from the house at a concrete plant.  I had signed on as a “tile sorter” out in the warehouse on a crew full of women, but the yard boss saw on my application that I knew how to type so the first morning he made me the office secretary.  

    The work was simple and a little scarce—I answered the phone; I made the coffee; I figured payroll from the time cards and passed out paychecks.  I might have typed three letters all summer long.  Finally I found the old directory of suppliers and other concrete plants in the area.  It was scratched out and scribbled over with address and telephone changes so I gave myself the chore of researching and re-typing that whole thing on the days when there was literally nothing else to do for hours.  I think the whole point of me being there was so the yard boss could say he had a secretary like the big guys up in the front office.

    Aside from the pride issue, he was a decent man, a Jehovah’s Witness who actually talked with me about religious things when he was free.  He seemed impressed when I showed him a passage or two he didn’t know was there.  

    But his immediate underling was not as nice a man as he pretended to be when the boss was there.  Not that I knew it at first or none of this would have happened.  I can look back on it now and hear his words and know what he was thinking as surely as if he told me out loud, but not then.  I was too innocent and trusting.

    One day late in the summer I found myself alone in the office with him.  The old clerk was sick and the yard boss had been called up to the front office on the highway, a good quarter mile walk through the hot dusty yard beneath overhead cranes.  I had gone to the front counter to look for some forms and suddenly I found myself hemmed into a corner with this six foot something, 250 lb, fifty year old man coming right at me   Before I knew it, he grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me.

    I am not sure what he expected, but somehow I got loose, slipped around him, and ran as fast as I could to the only restroom in the place, a grimy cubbyhole about four foot square.  I locked the wooden door, grabbed a scratchy, brown paper towel and scrubbed my face over and over and over and over.  Then I re-wet the towel, added more soap and went at it again.  I couldn’t stop myself.  It’s a wonder I didn’t draw blood.

    Now look at Psalm 51:2.  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.  This is the psalm David wrote after Nathan convicted him of the sins of adultery and murder.  I have read that in the Hebrew “wash me thoroughly” is literally “multiply my washings.”  After at least a year, long enough for Bathsheba to bear a child and that child to die, David finally realizes the enormity of his sins and feels the remorse like a knife in his heart.  One little plea for forgiveness won’t do in his mind, not for the terrible things he has done.  He feels the need for ritual cleansing over and over and over and over.  It isn’t a failure to accept God’s forgiveness; it’s an overwhelming sense of absolute filth.  

    When I read the literal meaning of “wash me thoroughly” those feelings I had standing in that grubby little bathroom over forty years ago came flooding back to me.  And now, like never before, I realize exactly how I ought to feel when I ask God’s forgiveness.  What I have done to Him is much worse than that which was done to me by a sordid lecher so many years ago.

    You need to feel it too.  If there is anything that will dowse your temptations like a bucket of water on a fire, that will.  I am not sure now how long I stood there shaking, sick to my stomach, but I did not leave that hideous little room until I heard other voices in the office.  Nothing was going to get me out there until I was sure I was safe.    

    Sin in your life will corrupt you.  Soap won’t get it out, no matter how many times you wash yourself.  Only the blood of the Lamb and the grace of God can cleanse you.  And even then, you should feel the need for more, and more, and more, and more, until finally you can face yourself in the mirror.  

    If you are having trouble with temptations today, remember this little story.  It’s not something I share lightly.

Though you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, the stain of your guilt is still before me, declares the Lord GOD, Jer 2:22.

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, That the bones which you have broken may rejoice, Psalm 51:7,8.

Dene Ward


The True Perspective

Psalms 74 and 79, along with the books of Lamentations and Habakkuk, which are also national psalms of lament over the destruction of Jerusalem, will make you cringe in their horrific detail of destruction.  Women and young girls raped, leaders hung up for all to see, the Temple in ruins, dead bodies lying everywhere, far too many for the few left alive to bury. 

            Psalm 74 lists sacrilege after sacrilege:  God’s enemies standing in the meeting place; the intricate and artistic carvings of the Temple chopped to pieces by heathen axes, the sanctuary on fire, the dwelling place of God razed to the ground.  Psalm 79 uses opposites to the same effect:  the holy defiled; Jerusalem in rubble; God’s servants as carrion; and blood flowing like water in the streets.  Imagine seeing all this one horrible morning and then speaking to God in these words:  Help us, O God of our salvation, 79:9.

            God of our salvation?  How could the psalmist possibly use that description?  Where in all this nightmare does he see salvation?

            The poet understood this basic truth:  even in this dreadful event, God is still seeking the salvation of His people.  He could still see a Father’s love behind the most severe discipline.

            Again in Psalm 74, the psalmist says, Yet God is my King of Old, working salvation in the midst of the earth.  Not just in the midst of the earth, but in the middle of all this horror, he can still see the true nature of God.

            Habakkuk in his lament ends with the same thoughts:  For though the fig-tree shall not flourish, Neither shall fruit be in the vines; The labor of the olive shall fail, And the fields shall yield no food; The flock shall be cut off from the fold, And there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in Jehovah, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Hab 3:17-18.

            What do we see when evil befalls us?  If all we feel is the pain, if all we see is the sorrow, Satan already has a foothold.  We must learn to use what happens in our lives as a steppingstone to Heaven, a lift to a higher plane of spirituality. 

            Surely it isn’t always punishment from God as it was for those people, but then it becomes even more important to see events in the correct way.  We are in a world that is temporary, that is tainted with sin.  Of course we will have problems.  Are we so naĂŻve as to think that something Satan has poisoned will ever be good?  Jeremiah tells us in his lament, that if it weren’t for God there wouldn’t be anything good left in this world at all, Lam 3:22, and we have no right to expect it to be any different. 

            If I cannot see the salvation of God even in the midst of trials as Jeremiah did, I am blind to who He is.  He is there, helping us prepare for a world where those things will be no more.  If I rail against Him when the trials come, I do not know Him.  Illness and death are the tools of Satan to lure us away, but with faith and the proper perspective--seeing the God of our salvation instead of the God of our pain--we can use Satan’s own tools against him as a road to triumph. 

            It is better to depart and be with the Lord, Paul said, Phil 1:23.  To die is gain for a Christian, v 21.  “O death where is thy victory, O death where is thy sting?  The sting of death is sin and the power of sin is the Law, but thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” 1 Cor 15:55-57)  If I see death as the victor, I am giving myself away—showing that my perspective is indeed unspiritual, immature, and faithless.  

            Is it easy to have this perspective, especially in the middle of a traumatic life event?  No, because we are still in this flesh.  But while in this flesh the Lord Himself conquered all these things and expects us to follow His example, as difficult as it may be.  And He gives us the means to do it. 

            He is and always will be the God of our salvation.

But as for me, I will look unto Jehovah; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me, Mic 7:7.

Dene Ward

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