Flight Paths

I will say this as kindly as I can:  Young people, please be careful when you utter the above comment to anyone, especially anyone older than you are.  I doubt you can find an easier way to put your foot in your mouth.

              A few years ago, I was cleaning up my room after a Bible class when a gentleman who was new to the congregation came in.  I am still not sure why he chose my classroom, unless it was the only one occupied, and he was looking for an ear.  I am always happy to be an ear.  I have done it many, many times.  I am not sure I have always helped, but sometimes being the ear is all the help needed, and it's one of the easiest ways to serve another.

              This was not a particularly young man, not many years younger than I, in fact.  But he began in earnest to tell me about his mother dying the year before.  I expressed sympathy, and that encouraged him to continue on.  He had been in the room with her when she died.  He was practically crying by then.  "You just don't have any idea how traumatic it is to watch your mother die."

              I continued making the appropriate comments as sincerely as I could, and finally his tears dried and he left me.  What I did not say to him was, "Yes, I do know what it's like—my father died just six months ago and I watched him take his last breath."  It would not have helped anything, in my judgment, and I soon found out I was probably right.

              We were sitting at a potluck meal not a month later, right across from this same man.  He began to talk about an incident in the service when, as a guard, he had to hold his weapon on another man.  "You have no idea what it's like to think you might have to make the decision to shoot someone," a sentiment that was made at least twice as he reran the story again and again in the next ten minutes.

              Neither Keith nor I mentioned that, as a law enforcement officer, he had to make that decision more than once, and that he finally had to act on it the day he was ambushed by a convicted felon who was under his supervision. 

              Here is the thing, people:  you have no idea what some people have been through in their lives, unless you have known them intimately from birth.  Most mature people do not go around talking about the traumatic times in their lives unless they are trying to help someone else.  Most of the time they are happy to put that part of their lives behind them and dwell on happier times.  Be careful what you think they have or have not gone through, and therefore, what they can and cannot relate to.  In my younger years I learned several hard lessons exactly this way.  Everyone has experienced hardship and trauma, and over the years they have learned to deal with it.  My experience may not be exactly like yours, but I bet our lists look similar.

               Perhaps I am wrong, but, "You just don't know what it's like" seems to serve two purposes.  First, it garners attention.  Suddenly, you are the one everyone feels sorry for and comforts.  Everyone gathers around you and for at least a few minutes, you are the only one who matters.  Second, it gives you an instant excuse for whatever misbehavior you have done.  People will instantly overlook it because of what you have been through, "poor thing."

               But I will tell you that "what you have been through" is the most invalid excuse there is for sin.  You have someone who has been through exactly what you have.  He most certainly does know what it's like.  In fact, he came here for precisely that reason.  He changed who and what he was just so he would know what you have been through.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Heb 4:15).  We have a tendency to focus on the cross when we consider his sacrifice, but here is every bit as painful another one, and he suffered this one every day of his life.  Any time we use the "you just don't know" excuse out of an immature desire for attention or to cover our faults, we are belittling the sacrifice he made in the most arrogant, self-centered way possible.

               No one gets off easy in this life, not even God's children.  To expect otherwise is to deny the curses of Eden.  It's supposed to be hard because we blew it.  The only way you can say otherwise is to claim to be sinless.  You don't get Heaven until this World is over and done with.  You may get a taste of it here and there in a good marriage, great kids, and loyal brethren, but then again, you may not.

              But we all have the best help imaginable.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you... (2Cor 12:9).  "Sufficient"—enough for any need you may have. 

               None of us has reason to say, "You just don't understand" to Him.
 
Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.  For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (Heb 2:17-18)
 
Dene Ward

Psalms 74 and 79, along with the books of Lamentations and Habakkuk, which are also national psalms of lament over the destruction of Jerusalem, will make you cringe in their horrific detail of destruction.  Women and young girls raped, leaders hung up for all to see, the Temple in ruins, dead bodies lying everywhere, far too many for the few left alive to bury. 

              Psalm 74 lists sacrilege after sacrilege:  God’s enemies standing in the meeting place; the intricate and artistic carvings of the Temple chopped to pieces by heathen axes, the sanctuary on fire, the dwelling place of God razed to the ground.  Psalm 79 uses opposites to the same effect:  the holy defiled; Jerusalem in rubble; God’s servants as carrion; and blood flowing like water in the streets.  Imagine seeing all this one horrible morning and then speaking to God in these words:  Help us, O God of our salvation, 79:9.

              God of our salvation?  How could the psalmist possibly use that description?  Where in all this nightmare does he see salvation?

              The poet understood this basic truth:  even in this dreadful event, God is still seeking the salvation of His people.  He could still see a Father’s love behind the most severe discipline.

              Again in Psalm 74, the psalmist says, Yet God is my King of Old, working salvation in the midst of the earth.  Not just in the midst of the earth, but in the middle of all this horror, he can still see the true nature of God.

              Habakkuk in his lament ends with the same thoughts:  For though the fig-tree shall not flourish, Neither shall fruit be in the vines; The labor of the olive shall fail, And the fields shall yield no food; The flock shall be cut off from the fold, And there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in Jehovah, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Hab 3:17-18.

              What do we see when evil befalls us?  If all we feel is the pain, if all we see is the sorrow, Satan already has a foothold.  We must learn to use what happens in our lives as a steppingstone to Heaven, a lift to a higher plane of spirituality. 

              Surely it isn’t always punishment from God as it was for those people, but then it becomes even more important to see events in the correct way.  We are in a world that is temporary, that is tainted with sin.  Of course we will have problems.  Are we so naïve as to think that something Satan has poisoned will ever be good?  Jeremiah tells us in his lament, that if it weren’t for God there wouldn’t be anything good left in this world at all, Lam 3:22, and we have no right to expect it to be any different. 

              If I cannot see the salvation of God even in the midst of trials as Jeremiah did, I am blind to who He is.  He is there, helping us prepare for a world where those things will be no more.  If I rail against Him when the trials come, I do not know Him.  Illness and death are the tools of Satan to lure us away, but with faith and the proper perspective--seeing the God of our salvation instead of the God of our pain--we can use Satan’s own tools against him as a road to triumph. 

              It is better to depart and be with the Lord, Paul said, Phil 1:23.  To die is gain for a Christian, v 21.  “O death where is thy victory, O death where is thy sting?  The sting of death is sin and the power of sin is the Law, but thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” 1 Cor 15:55-57)  If I see death as the victor, I am giving myself away—showing that my perspective is indeed unspiritual, immature, and faithless.  

              Is it easy to have this perspective, especially in the middle of a traumatic life event?  No, because we are still in this flesh.  But while in this flesh the Lord Himself conquered all these things and expects us to follow His example, as difficult as it may be.  And He gives us the means to do it. 

              He is and always will be the God of our salvation.
 
But as for me, I will look unto Jehovah; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me, Mic 7:7.
 
Dene Ward

Charles Richard Drew was a renowned surgeon who developed a method for storing blood plasma and transporting that blood to the people who needed it.  He was also the father of America's first large scale blood bank.
 
             A native of Washington, he was a gifted athlete who was recruited to Amherst College, one of only 13 African-Americans in a student body of 600.  He earned his medical degree in 1933 at McGill University, one of few schools open to black students, winning several prizes along the way and graduating second in his class.

              Despite constant roadblocks because of race, Drew did his internship and residency at Montreal Hospital, and joined the faculty at Howard University School of Medicine, teaching pathology and surgery and eventually becoming chief surgical resident at Freedmen's Hospital.  While working on a doctorate at Columbia, he won a fellowship to train at Presbyterian Hospital with John Scudder, who called him, "naturally great," and, "a brilliant pupil."  While working with Scudder his interest in transfusions and blood typing grew.  His dissertation was called a "masterpiece" and "one of the most distinguished essays ever written."  Eventually his procedures and standards for collecting and storing blood led to the Blood for Britain Project, which saved thousands of lives in World War II.                

              Drew went on to a brilliant, but short, career.  On March 31, 1950, he drove to a conference in North Carolina.  It was late and he was tired.  He fell asleep at the wheel and the automobile crashed.  Drew was rushed to an all-white hospital.  He needed a transfusion.  Because it makes for a much more titillating story, word went around that he was refused the transfusion because he was black.  I found that in several places, including a printed book.  But later, the correct story finally made the light of day.  He did receive the transfusion he needed just like any other patient, but it was not enough to save him.  He died on April 1, 1950.

              I suppose the comparison here is obvious.  Blood will save lives.  My own mother had to have 2 pints of it once because one of those many numbers they count had gone from a normal 13 to 5.  But even that will not save everyone, and it will not save forever.  Only one blood will do that—the blood of the sinless Savior.  No matter your race, no matter your sin, it can save you.  It does not need special processing or equipment to store it.  It is right there, always available.  Paul even tells us the proper procedure:

               Or are you ignorant that all we who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?  We were buried therefore with him through baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we also might walk in newness of life.  For if we have become united with him in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection; knowing this, that our old man was crucified with him, that the body of sin might be done away, that so we should no longer be in bondage to sin; for he who has died is justified from sin. (Rom 6:3-7)

              Do you need a transfusion?
 
Dene Ward

Once, long ago and far away, I answered a knock at the door and found an FBI agent on my doorstep.  He had not made a mistake; he had indeed found the address he was looking for.  And why would a federal agent be looking for us?
 
             About a week before, we had received a letter in the mail.  It bore no return address and when we opened it, we found a hand printed letter full of foul language and tons of misspelled words and bad grammar.  I will always remember the last line of that letter:  "If you don't get out of town, I will burn you out."

           We took it to the postmaster of the small town where we lived and, because sending a threatening letter in the US Mail is a federal crime, he called the FBI.  And that is why the agent knocked on our door that morning.  He had come from a larger town about 30 miles away. No warning—we had no idea he was coming, but that might have been a strategical move. 

           We spent about a half hour answering questions:  who we were, what we did, if we had any known enemies.  When he discovered that Keith was a preacher, his attitude seemed to soften a bit.  He began pointing out things in the letter that I, young and inexperienced, had not even noticed.  The misspellings and bad grammar were inconsistent.  The same word was misspelled a different way later in the letter.  One time the writer said, "isn't" and the next time "ain't." 

          "I really think it is someone trying to disguise himself because it is someone you know," he finally said.

         He eventually apologized as he left.  His hands were tied unless someone actually made an attempt to harm us or succeeded in doing so, especially since we had no idea who it might be.  We were supposed to call if anything happened, or we received another threat of any kind via any method.

             It happened to be a Wednesday.  That night we went to Bible study and Keith began talking about the letter.  Then he mentioned the federal agent who had come to our door, "Because sending threats in the mail is a federal crime, you know."  Most people crowded around to hear the story and expressed horror that we had received something like that.  We made sure they knew the letter was counted as evidence in the case and was still in the agent's hands.

           We never received another letter, phone call, or threat of any sort while we lived there.  Of course we cannot prove it, but we think someone in the church had his toes stepped on and was trying to run us off.  We wonder if we were making progress with some and that others were afraid their sins would be uncovered.

          "But," you say, astounded, "would a Christian really stoop so low as to issue what could be taken as a murder threat?"

           Just who was it who plotted to kill Jesus?  The very religious leaders who should have recognized who he was and followed him—scribes, Pharisees, priests.  When people do not like your message, they will go farther than even they would have ever imagined to get rid of the messenger.  We have been lied about more than once.  We have been kicked out precisely because of what was preached—it wasn't even denied. 

          How did "Hosanna" become "Crucify him" in a week's time?  Corrupt leadership, the Lord's demand for commitment, humility, and sacrifice, refusal to see the true nature of the kingdom, and a mob mentality that always strays far from the personal ethics one claims.
 
            Any of us can fall prey to this.  It's hard to hear that we need to change.  It's difficult to face up to our sins.  It's challenging to realize we have faulty expectations of the Lord and what He expects of us.  It's tough realizing you have been wrong about something your entire life.  The devil will take your heart and twist it to the point that you won't even see the wrong you are doing in retaliation.

          Whoever sent that threatening letter got a rude awakening when he found out the FBI was involved and he could go to prison for what he had done.  There is a far worse imprisonment than that when we blame the Message on the messenger.  Getting rid of him won't change your stance before your Maker.
 
“You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you. Which of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? And they killed those who announced beforehand the coming of the Righteous One, whom you have now betrayed and murdered, you who received the law as delivered by angels and did not keep it.” (Acts 7:51-53)
 
Dene Ward

In spite of the fact that my husband claims to be a Southerner (he is really an Arkansas hillbilly and I had to teach him the proper way to eat grits), he regularly makes fun of my accent.  This from the guy to whom perfect strangers point and say with amazement, “You sound just like Jimmy Stewart!”  He says folks from the Deep South are the only ones who can take a three letter word, put three syllables in it, and take three full seconds to say it.  Ham, for instance:  hay—ee—yum.
 
           Actually I have noticed how my speech has changed over my lifetime.  I was born around Orlando, not the Orlando you know now, but pre-Disney Orlando, which was a small town then, full of people with rural roots, and only a few pretentious folks over in the Winter Park section—the white-gloved folks who knew how to stick their pinkies out when they drank tea.  Back then I probably had a true Southern accent.

            I spent the last eight years of my growing up life and the first year of married life in Tampa, so my accent began to even out some.  Then two years in Illinois farmland put a real spin on it.  For the last 30 years I have lived back in Florida—not the cosmopolitan Florida the rest of the world knows about, but rural, north central Florida, where the possums and coons still rummage at night, the bobcats scream, and the hound dogs bay at the moon.  I don’t think I have pronounced the “g” on an –ing word in at least 20 years.       God’s people have had similar problems throughout the ages.  Nehemiah was horrified at the effect foreign people were having on his brethren, and used their language problem as a symbol for things much worse:  In those days also I saw the Jews that had married women of Ashdod, Ammon, and Moab; and their children spoke half in the speech of Ashdod and could not speak in the Jews’ language, but according to the language of each people.  Neh 13:23,24.

            I have always heard this passage used to point out that some use Bible words the wrong way, mixing up pastors with preachers, and fellowship with donuts.  But it is more important for me in my daily life to think about this:  I should not allow the language around me to affect the way I speak.  God’s children should be speaking blessing, not cursing; words of understanding, not words of judgment; words of praise, not words of criticism.  Can I turn a cashier’s day around with a friendly hello rather than a cold empty look?  Can I make a waitress’s feet hurt a little less with friendly conversation, rather than a gruff complaint?  Can I give my wavering brother or sister an encouraging word rather than an unfeeling push over the edge of temptation?  The condemnation of the language of Ashdod means a whole lot more than just mixing up a few definitions.

            Today, and every day Lord, help my accent to be that of a Christian.
 
A soft answer turns away wrath…The tongue of the wise utters knowledge correctly…A gentle tongue is a tree of life…A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is…Pleasant words are like a honeycomb:  sweet to the soul and health to the bones.  Selected lines from Proverbs 15 and 16.
 
Dene Ward

I learned as a child in the Florida school system that Juan Ponce de Leon was the first Spanish explorer to land here.  No records are available but he was believed to have been born in July, 1474, and traveled with Columbus as a very young man before ultimately setting off on his own.

              He had heard stories about a magical spring that could cure diseases and make you young again, so he began the search, finally sighting land on March 27, 1513.  A few days later he landed; no one is sure the exact date except that it was “late March,” and obviously after the 27th.  The land he set foot on somewhere near St. Augustine was so beautiful he called it Florida.  Spring in Florida is beautiful.  I understand why he was impressed.  If he had landed in July, we would have had a much different name.  (What’s the Spanish word for “sauna?”)

              We do have a lot of natural springs in Florida—probably half a dozen within 30 miles of where I sit—but none with the magical powers he looked for.  I can find a Fountain of Youth quite easily, though.  I have it laid out right next to me as I type.  The eternal life promised to the faithful may be the most obvious application of that concept, but I can think of yet another.

              As I watch my grandsons play I find myself remembering my own childhood, realizing as an adult how unfettered it was by worry, pain, and sorrow.  I never for a moment wondered where my next meal was coming from.  I never worried about storms, not even hurricanes.  I never worried about bad people doing bad things to me.  I had a Daddy I trusted implicitly.  He would take care of me.  That’s what Daddies do.

              Once when I was still in early grade school, I had a bad dream.  My Daddy came in and sat on the bed next to me, asking me about the dream and then carefully undoing every worry it had evoked in me.  When he finished I could go back to sleep because of his reassurances.  That’s what Daddies do.

              One morning in first grade I was upset about something—I don’t even remember what now.  But my Daddy noticed that I had tears in my eyes when I got out of the car at school.  As I stood in front of my classroom, waiting for the bell to ring, I looked up and there he was, striding down the sidewalk.  He had parked the car and come looking for me to make sure I was all right.  That’s what Daddies do.

              Daddies provide.  They protect.  They comfort.  Do you want a Fountain of Youth?  Stop worrying about things you cannot fix.  Stop being afraid of things you cannot handle alone.  Stop wondering how you will manage.  Cast your cares on a Father who loves you.  Once again become a little child who has a Daddy who will always be there, always watching out for your needs and taking care of your problems.  If you don’t have that, it’s only because you insist on ignoring His outstretched hand.  You insist on trying to control everything yourself—as if you were the Daddy. 

              Do you begin your prayers, “Father in Heaven?”  Then act like He is your Father.  Trust Him.  Begin this day with a new exuberance, one born because you have surrendered your cares to Him and finally found the Fountain of Youth.
 
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, Romans 8:14-16.
 
Dene Ward

I came across the phrase “for thy name’s sake” in Psalm 79:  Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for thy name’s sake. 

              The whole psalm bases its appeal on the fact that God is the one being scorned when His people are defeated by the nations.  The psalmist certainly had it right—those people who had slipped so far into idolatry and all its vile and attendant practices could not possibly think that God would save them based upon how faithful and righteous they had been.  The only possibility of salvation was to throw themselves on the mercies of their God, to remind Him that it was a personal affront to Him when His people were conquered. 

              The nations have come into your inheritance…your holy temple they have defiled…the dead bodies of your servants have they given to the birds of the heavens for food…render sevenfold into the laps of our neighbors the taunts wherewith they have taunted you.  And in keeping with that, the psalmist then asks for forgiveness, not for the people’s sake, but for God’s name’s sake.

              I looked up that phrase and found it several more times in the collection.  What was God asked to do “for His name’s sake?”  Pardon sins, 25:11; lead in paths of righteousness, 23:3; preserve life, 143:11; lead and guide, 31:3; deal on my behalf and deliver, 109:21.  Herein lies a lesson we need—all these things, including pardon and deliverance, God does, not because we deserve them, but because of Who He is.  We have nothing to bargain with any more than those fickle people of old.  We, too, have sinned against a loving Father, often in a rebellious and disrespectful way.  We may not bow down to an idol, but we love the world as much as they did, follow its example as if we fear to be different from it, and let it seep into our minds to the point we no longer even recognize sin.

              I hear too many brethren in the midst of a trial ask God, “Why, when I have tried so hard to be faithful for so long?”  We just don’t get it.  One sin forever makes us unworthy to be in the presence of God.  It breaks our covenant with Him as surely as a broken contract today.   God is Holy, He is righteous, He cannot tolerate sin.  But lucky for us, God is love, too, and because of Who He is, we have hope.

              When the trials come, when the fear mounts and the sorrow overwhelms, this is what we say to Him:  We know we do not deserve it.  We know you are far above us and our frail existence.  Please show the world your essence.  Please help us and comfort us and deliver us, not for our sakes, but for your name’s sake.  Otherwise we don’t have a leg to stand on, and we know it.
 
"I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25

"For my name's sake I defer my anger, for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you, that I may not cut you off. Isaiah 48:9

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7.
 
Dene Ward

A continuing series by guest writer Keith Ward.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen 2:24). 

Though we often use the word, "cleave," in our wedding ceremonies, elsewhere in our times it is mainly used of a meat cleaver that cuts things apart.  Certainly not what God intended by Moses' inspired comment!  The Hebrew word means to cling but few translations use that and also have the true meaning of "one flesh."  The word for cleave also means "adhere," in our vernacular, "stick like glue" or to "cling like Velcro."  Obviously God intends that the husband hold the woman fast to him in a special way that is unique, different from any other relationship.

Unquestionably, God intends "one flesh" to be a full-time occupation and it is the man's primary responsibility.   "What God joined together" stays together though geography separates the couple by hundreds of miles.  The importance of developing this relationship is emphasized by the use of the same word in the same way in the Shema, "Hear, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah" (Deut 6:4).  Though we understand that God is three persons, He is ONE.  In the same way, the husband is to leave all else to make himself one with his wife.  Perhaps God intended this relationship as it approaches its ideal to teach us about Him.  If so, treating it casually reflects our disdain for God.
 
Becoming one first requires leaving. Moses refers to "father and mother" as the ultimate that a man must put behind him. They were the first people he knew and the first and primary relationship in his life. Again, geography has little to do with leaving and especially in that society where generations of extended family lived together. Jacob was probably not the first "Mama's boy" and he certainly has not been the last. Not only must he leave, the husband must act so decisively that his wife is confident of her primacy. "The way Mama did it" and large amounts of time spent with his family with or without the wife indicate a failure to leave. He must never allow his parents to criticize his wife even if that requires strong measures. I often tell Dene that she is my "only."  My actions prove that is not just "sweet nothings."
 
Parents are not the only obstruction to leaving and cleaving. Many men I have worked with spent more time hunting and fishing with their buddies than they spent with their wives. Hobbies can be wonderful and useful to a man's character, but when they regularly occupy more time than she does, the wife is justified in feeling that she is nothing more than a cook and a sex object to him. Couples who both work outside the home and for whom household chores occupy much of their time together must make special effort to keep their relationship strong. The fact is that they both spend more time with and have more conversation with co-workers than they do with one another. Children become another separator. If care is not taken, time will pass and no glue will remain to adhere them to one another; occasional sex will become the only sense of "one flesh" that remains.
 
Oneness must be nurtured with care—make mutual decisions about everything: where to live, whether to take a promotion, where to worship, the standards and rules to apply to raising children, whether she works outside the home and the division of labor for the housework. What others think does not matter. Otherwise, you neither left nor are you cleaving. A husband demonstrates commitment to his wife by never even thinking about flirting with another woman and the wife should see this and have this confidence. He must never criticize her to others, and care must be taken to not fight in front of the children. Not only must he not criticize, he must not allow others to criticize her in his presence. I should not have to say that women never appreciate male humor and she is well aware that "many a truth is spoken in jest. Don't. Just Don't.
 
Timothy was likely in his forties when Paul admonished, "flee youthful passions" (2Tim2:22). If he was not speaking of "midlife crises" than application certainly exists. Men begin to realize their dreams conceived in youthful idealism will never happen and they go wild in pursuit of youthful fancies. Observation leads me to believe that well over half of all Corvettes are owned by men over 40 which is also true for Harley motorcycles. "Arm candy" for gray headed men has spawned a major industry in Viagra and Cialis. Leaving and cleaving and one flesh are left in Satan's dust as husbands think of little but Self.
 
Many married couples have lived together for years in various residences and are no more married than the shacked-up couple who sees no need for a legal piece of paper to validate their relationship. The unmarried couple has a point, a piece of paper does not make a couple married in the sense God intends—He must leave and cleave, she must submit, he must dwell with her according to knowledge, he must love her as Christ loved the church, he is to lead and he is to nourish and cherish her. Notice how heavily these foundations of marriage are weighted toward the husband—this is the responsibility of being head. "Head" is not a right. If theirs is not a marriage that emulates the relationship among the Godhood, then the failure is his.
 
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18).

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).
 
Keith Ward

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love. (1Cor 16:13-14)
 
             Please pardon the paraphrase in the title.  When we were discussing the above passage in our women's study, it just seemed I should come up with something else.  No woman wants to be told to "Act like a man."  Of course we understand that it is the "universal he" commonly used in writing, but it made for a light moment in a heavy class.  Paul is telling us all to "act like adults" instead of the big babies he speaks of in I Corinthians.  We found it helpful to make a list of how to do that based on this passage.

              1.  Be watchful.  What happens every time your teenage child leaves the house and you say, "Be careful?"  Right, the old eye roll, as if it were a ridiculous thing to say.  Immature minds cannot conceive of the dangers out there simply because they have no experience with them.  Young people think they are immortal and that we are silly to even worry.  Why, nothing is going to happen to them!  We aren't a bit better when we go out into the world with no care at all for the "roaring lion seeking whom he may devour."  He is out there—every minute of every day, and he has YOU in his sights.  If you want to act like an adult, then be watchful.

              2.  Stand firm in the faith.  Children lose their focus and become distracted.  When things become tedious, they get bored and decide they don't like it any more.  When difficulties arise, they quit.  Adults, on the other hand, keep on till the end, till the job is finished, till the goal is reached, till the aim has been accomplished.  God is counting on us to stick with it.  If we won't do it with the physical things of this life, why do we think we will when our spiritual lives face hardship?  "He who is faithful in little is faithful in much," Jesus said, calling the physical "little" and the spiritual "much."  Who receives the reward?  "He who overcomes," the one who is "faithful unto death," the one who acts like an adult.

              3.  Be strong.  When life is tough, an adult doesn't stop working, sit there and whine, "I can't take any more."  Most of us can do far more than we ever imagined.  If you have lived more than three decades, you have already discovered that you can do what you have to do.  Maybe you have never stopped and looked back on your life and the hard times you have come through and somehow managed to survive.  See?  You can be strong.  So be an adult.  Stop making excuses and, to borrow from an ad line, just get up and do it.

              4.  Do everything in love.  It took me awhile to figure out what this had to do with all these other things.  Then I remembered all those stories you hear about a frail little old lady lifting a car off of her husband when it fell off the jack.  How did she do it?  Adrenaline—that little boost that gives you almost superhuman power. 

             Love is spiritual adrenaline.  When you love someone, you can do anything for them.  You will ignore the aggravations your neighbors cause you, the irritations your family members sometimes bring; you will love them and overcome the temptation to strike back, speak back, or repay in kind.  You will even show "love" to other drivers! 

              Here is where the "acting like an adult" part comes in, because you will choose to love those people despite them and their foibles.  Love is a choice you will make every day, no matter how tired you are, how sick you are, how aggravated you are; no matter how unfair it is or how much that person deserves something besides your love; and even when you correct, you will do it because you love, not because you are angry or judgmental.  "Everything" is to be done in love.  That pretty much covers it all.

              And there you have in two short verses how Paul says we are to be mature instead of childish.  Which attitude will you choose?
 
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. (2Tim 4:7-8)
 
Dene Ward

We just bundled several services for a better price and more items.  In fact, the price we were quoted for four services was what we had before paid for two.  We asked every question we could think to ask.  Everything sounded good and we were thrilled.

              We just got the first bill.  I spent the next half hour on the phone trying to find out why this bill was 30% higher than I was told it would be.  Easy one, as it turns out.  The quote I got was the base price and did not include taxes, surcharges and all sorts of fees.   

             I was not happy. Yet, after I sat down and refigured everything, we were still getting four services for the price we had formerly paid for three.  We are still saving money, which was the reason for the whole switch.  Everything had become higher than our new retirement budget allowed and now, despite my disappointment, we are still under budget. 

              Don’t you just hate fine print?  I would much rather know what the total price is, not be surprised with it when the first bill arrives.

              Jesus did not believe in fine print either.  He laid it on the line. 
              “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.”
              “I came not to bring peace but a sword.”
              “Go and sell all you have and follow me.”
              “If any would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
              “You shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake.”
              “Some of you will be put to death.”
              “If you do not repent, you shall all likewise perish.”
              “Go thy way and sin no more.”

              Jesus told everyone what to expect.  He never sugar-coated it.  He never promised wealth and ease in this life.  What he did promise was a life of bliss and glory--in Eternity, not in Time.  And it isn’t a bait and switch.   

              He never said you won’t be persecuted.  In fact, he told his people to count on it.  He told them to rejoice when they were badly treated.  It puts us in good company.  “For so persecuted they the prophets before you.”

              He never said wealth would accompany our conversions.  In fact, he called wealth a danger to our souls. 

              He never said we would be healthy; that no trials of life would ever touch us.  He simply said, “I know how you feel.  I will not forsake you.”

              Jesus spelled it out.  We can know the final bill before it ever arrives.  If we are shocked because we have to suffer, then we just ignored what we did not want to hear.  He never tried to hide it.

              He also told us exactly what He will give us.  I am still getting a good deal on my little bundle, but it doesn’t compare to the deal I get with the Lord.  What the Lord offers is beyond our imaginations.  Even the words God uses for our frail intellect cannot express the glory that awaits a child of God.

              Go ahead and sign the contract.  You won’t have a nasty surprise in the mail.  And if you have signed already, remind yourself of the bundle that awaits you, especially if you are in the midst of trials now.  It is well worth the cost.
 
His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant: you have been faithful over a few things, I will set you over many things; enter you into the joy of your lord. Matthew 25:23
 
Dene Ward