I picked up the phone and within ten seconds wished I hadnât. I was a new bride and it was my first experience with a telemarketer. I couldnât fathom someone who had an answer for every reason to say âNo.â
Iâd been taught to always be polite so as long as he talked I listened. Finally I said, âI couldnât spend this much money without talking to my husband first anyway.â
Yes, he even had an answer for that one. âDonât you think itâs about time you learned how to make decisions on your own?â
He had finally gone too far. âHow we run our marriage is our business, not yours,â I replied and hung up. He found out in short order that my acceptance of my husbandâs authority didnât mean I was spineless.
Too many women today seem to think it does, and worse, care far too much about what other people think about them. I feel the same way about that as I do about men who wonât help with child care and housework because, âThatâs womanâs work.â Shakespeare put it best: âMethinks thou doth protest too much.â It takes strength to submit; weakness cannot overcome the natural tendency to want attention and power.
Sarah comes to mind. In a misguided attempt to help God fulfill his promises to Abraham, she and Abraham arranged a surrogate mother. Hagar was âher handmaid,â Gen 16:1,3, a personal servant of Sarahâs, not a simple slave girl who would have been under Abrahamâs authority (Growth of the Seed, Nathan Ward). When Hagarâs attitude toward Sarah eroded into hateful disrespect--âher mistress became despised in her eyesâ v 4âSarah was ready to throw her out. At that time, in that culture, Hagar as her handmaid was her business, not Abrahamâs. Yet Sarah, in her submission as a wife, still went to Abraham first. Even he said, âBehold, your maid is in your hands. Do what you think is best,â v 6.
Please note, the surrogacy arrangement did not change Hagarâs status. She is still called âhandmaidâ by the writer and by God (21:12), and the angel of Jehovah told her she was wrong to have fled, that the right thing was to return to her mistress (16:7-9), just as it was for Onesimus to return to Philemon. Sarah did not have to ask Abraham for permission, but she went the extra mile in her submission to him.
So how am I doing at this submission business? Do my friends know that my husband is the head of the house, or would they throw their heads back in gales of laughter at the very thought? Am I embarrassed to say, âI need to talk with my husband,â before making a major decision?
Even the New Testament recognizes that a woman has a realm of authority in the home. Widows are to remarry and ârule the household,â 1 Tim 5:14. That word âruleâ is not the same Greek word as the one in 3:4, elders should ârule well their own household.â The word in 5:14 is one that means âmanage [the home specifically] under a master.â Just as the store manager does not expect to be micromanaged by the owner of the business, he still understands that he must ultimately answer to that owner. Would anyone expect otherwise?
It is time to stop being cowed by our increasingly godless culture, afraid to admit that we actually believe what the Bible says about unpopular things. The next time someone insults you for your voluntary subjection to your husband, show them just how much spine you do have.
For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening, 1 Peter 3:5-6
Dene Ward
Iâd been taught to always be polite so as long as he talked I listened. Finally I said, âI couldnât spend this much money without talking to my husband first anyway.â
Yes, he even had an answer for that one. âDonât you think itâs about time you learned how to make decisions on your own?â
He had finally gone too far. âHow we run our marriage is our business, not yours,â I replied and hung up. He found out in short order that my acceptance of my husbandâs authority didnât mean I was spineless.
Too many women today seem to think it does, and worse, care far too much about what other people think about them. I feel the same way about that as I do about men who wonât help with child care and housework because, âThatâs womanâs work.â Shakespeare put it best: âMethinks thou doth protest too much.â It takes strength to submit; weakness cannot overcome the natural tendency to want attention and power.
Sarah comes to mind. In a misguided attempt to help God fulfill his promises to Abraham, she and Abraham arranged a surrogate mother. Hagar was âher handmaid,â Gen 16:1,3, a personal servant of Sarahâs, not a simple slave girl who would have been under Abrahamâs authority (Growth of the Seed, Nathan Ward). When Hagarâs attitude toward Sarah eroded into hateful disrespect--âher mistress became despised in her eyesâ v 4âSarah was ready to throw her out. At that time, in that culture, Hagar as her handmaid was her business, not Abrahamâs. Yet Sarah, in her submission as a wife, still went to Abraham first. Even he said, âBehold, your maid is in your hands. Do what you think is best,â v 6.
Please note, the surrogacy arrangement did not change Hagarâs status. She is still called âhandmaidâ by the writer and by God (21:12), and the angel of Jehovah told her she was wrong to have fled, that the right thing was to return to her mistress (16:7-9), just as it was for Onesimus to return to Philemon. Sarah did not have to ask Abraham for permission, but she went the extra mile in her submission to him.
So how am I doing at this submission business? Do my friends know that my husband is the head of the house, or would they throw their heads back in gales of laughter at the very thought? Am I embarrassed to say, âI need to talk with my husband,â before making a major decision?
Even the New Testament recognizes that a woman has a realm of authority in the home. Widows are to remarry and ârule the household,â 1 Tim 5:14. That word âruleâ is not the same Greek word as the one in 3:4, elders should ârule well their own household.â The word in 5:14 is one that means âmanage [the home specifically] under a master.â Just as the store manager does not expect to be micromanaged by the owner of the business, he still understands that he must ultimately answer to that owner. Would anyone expect otherwise?
It is time to stop being cowed by our increasingly godless culture, afraid to admit that we actually believe what the Bible says about unpopular things. The next time someone insults you for your voluntary subjection to your husband, show them just how much spine you do have.
For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening, 1 Peter 3:5-6
Dene Ward