Today's post is by guest writer Warren Berkley.

Revenge is never sweet. It is an inherently unhealthy habit forbidden by God in 1 Thess. 5:15 and other passages. We all know that. But let’s elaborate on the history of revenge.

Revenge has never:
…produced authentic justice
…healed anyone
…promoted righteousness
…converted a sinner
…glorified God
…built a church
…made a marriage better
…raised a child
…earned an honest living
…or sent anyone to heaven

Ralph Waldo Emerson was right: “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
 
Warren Berkley
Berksblog.net

We’ve all seen those definitions of pessimism and optimism, the classic being the half-empty or half-full glass.  As a gardener, I’ve come up with my own.  When you look out over your herb garden, do you see beautiful brightly colored butterflies flitting around, or does your mind’s eye conjure up green caterpillars on naked parsley stems, their leaves stripped away practically overnight?  I have a friend who is overjoyed at the sight of a butterfly.  I often have a difficult time sharing her joy.

But I recognize the problem.  Pessimism can easily turn to cynicism.  We want to rationalize that by calling it “being realistic.”  But here’s the difference: 
Realism understands that you won’t save everyone (Matt 7:13,14).  Cynicism doesn’t even try. 

Realism knows that you are unlikely to change the mind of that misled young man in the white shirt and tie who knocked on your door with Bible in hand, but it greets him with kindness and respect.  Cynicism views him not as a lost soul, but as an adversary and approaches him with sarcasm and downright hatefulness.

Realism knows that perhaps even a majority of those who ask for help at the meetinghouse door are making prey of good-hearted brethren, but it takes the time to politely ask a few questions and determine an appropriate action just in case.  Cynicism immediately tars them all with the same brush and sends them on empty-handed, both physically and spiritually.

Realism is compassion tempered with wisdom.  “Be ye wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”  Cynicism is malice fueled by pessimism.  It looks for the worst, it expects the worst, and ultimately it rejoices in finding it.  That is about as un-Christlike as it comes.

So watch the butterflies today and enjoy them.  You can always check for caterpillars in the parsley later, and then rejoice when you only find a few.
 
[Love} does not rejoice at unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  1Cor 13:6-7.
 
Dene Ward

We noticed it on Friday night.  The fridge temperature was up to 43 from the usual 38 we aim at.  We always keep a thermometer in it just so we can monitor these things, but we had been in and out of it all day, gradually adding several pounds of produce from the garden, most of it still warm from a Florida sun even after a good rinse in cool tap water.  We decided that must be the problem.

The next morning, after a good 12 hours without opening the door, the fridge temperature was up to 48.  Well, that's not good, we thought, and called our friendly appliance repairman who also happens to be a brother.  We told him it was not an emergency, so don't come out on a weekend, but was there something we could check and maybe fix ourselves?  Not really, as it turns out, so we loaded it with ice blocks in an effort to use it as one big cooler until we could have it seen to. 

On Sunday morning, the temperature was up to 56.  Since, during the lockdown, we are having our own church services with one of our other members, we did so as usual, and then called the repairman again.  He was perfectly happy to come check things out, and even brought his family so we could chat while he and Keith worked on the fridge.  By the time he arrived, after we had both had our "in-home family services," the temperature was up to 68 inside the refrigerator.  Considering the huge blocks of ice we had placed in it to obviously no avail, we expected this to be a really huge, and expensive, problem. Maybe even a total replacement problem.

It only took about five minutes to discover what was wrong.  He looked at Keith and said, "Your thermometer says it's 68 in here.  Mine, even with me standing here with the door wide open, says it's 42."  The refrigerator wasn't broken; the thermometer was.  Whew!  Cheap fix, even if a little embarrassing.

It's easy to look good when you measure yourself against the world.  The more I read about the ancient Romans, the more frightened I become for our country's sake.  Sometimes you can't tell which country is being described—them or us.  Considering what God did to them, I worry what might happen here.

You can look pretty good when you measure yourself against your neighbors, too.  Many are decent people, but the majority would not have any qualms about a little cheating on their taxes, or telling "little white lies," or using the common expletives we hear all around us.  You, I hope, would know better and do better.

And if you are really careful about whom you choose, you can even look good compared to some of your brethren.  We are all fighting battles, but some fight a lot harder than others who have just decided "that's how I am," and let it go.  Yes, when you measure yourself against someone with that attitude, you will probably come out on top.

But God expects us to use His standard.  We are called to follow a much worthier calling and a much higher example than the people around us.  For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone. He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. (1Pet 2:21-23).

God will judge you fairly too, based on His standard, not the one you might be using now.  You might wind up thinking you are just fine, when the reality is far different.
 
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.  (2Cor 10:12)
 
Dene Ward

My spell-check tells me that is not a word—grandparenting.  Obviously, spell check does not have any grandchildren!
            Everyone tells you before your first child is born that your life is about to change and will never be the same again.  In fact, they tell you so often that you get sick of hearing it and almost determine that it won't happen to you—except something tells you it will, somehow or other, and it does.  You instantly know a love like no other, one so deep and intense it nearly scares you.  Everyone was right after all.
            I don't think anyone ever told me that about grandparenting.  They should have.  It hits you like a train too, just as it does parents, but in a slightly different way.  After all, parents are on the local train, and grandparents get the express, especially if they live a ways off.  You see those precious souls in bits and pieces and have to cram years of influence into days.  If you get the wonderful chance to babysit while mom and dad are out of town and get to pretend they are actually yours, not just for an hour or two, but for a few days—grandparenting becomes Heaven on Earth. 
            And don't let anyone tell you the love is any less intense.  Just the other day I saw a picture of these two taken from behind.  When I saw the backs of those little heads, I wanted to kiss them so badly I hurt.  Two little boys made me a mom, and now two little boys have made me a grandmother—the most wonderful role God ever created.
            The Bible doesn't really say much about grandparents.  We know they are there because we see the relationships, but even then we don't really see the interaction.  For example, Abraham was 100 when Isaac was born (Gen 21:5).  Isaac married at 40 and was 60 when Jacob and Esau were born (Gen 25:26).  Abraham died at 175 (Gen 25:7).  Do the math.  Isaac would have been 75 and Jacob and Esau would have been 15.  They knew their grandfather Abraham.  How did they get along?  What did they learn from him?  That part of the relationship is left for us to imagine.
            The best we can do to see grandparenting relationships are two women, one in the Old Testament and one in the New.  Naomi left Israel with her family and lived in Moab (Ruth 1).  While there, her husband died, and then both of her sons, leaving her with two widowed daughters-in-law.  I will not vilify Orpah as many do, but we all know the story of how Ruth returned to Israel with Naomi and then spent her days supporting both of them through the benevolent welfare system God had set up.  People left crops behind in the fields, often on purpose, and the poor labored to gather what they needed.
            In the process, Boaz came to redeem Naomi's son's land and married his widow.  The first son of that pair legally wore the name of the dead husband and was Naomi's legal grandson.  So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son. Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the LORD, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.” Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her lap and became his nurse.  (Ruth 4:13-16).  Don't tell me that Naomi did not play a huge role in how that child was raised, a child in the line of the Messiah, by the way.
            And then we have Lois.  Her daughter, having been raised (we suppose) in the town where Paul found her, Lystra, and where there was no synagogue, had married a Gentile.  In those days, being single was not really an option.  Lydia aside, most women simply could not support themselves.  So probably her father had done his best to find her a good man who would treat her right.  That left her trying to raise a godly son without a Jewish community's help.  But she did have her mother's help, and they succeeded beyond their wildest dreams, I imagine.  Paul says to Timothy, I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.  (2Tim 1:5).
            We can make some suppositions about other grandparents in the Bible, but these two are important.  They tell us that we should have a part in our grandchildren's lives.  Though I never really knew my grandfathers, I remember both of my grandmothers fondly.  I could talk to them about things I was uncomfortable talking to my parents about.  Both of them were Christians so my parents did not need to worry what I might be taught.  We need to be that trustworthy as grandparents, too, and willingly play a part in their lives.  (I can't imagine anyone needing to be told that!)
            And that, of course, leads to the second thing—our children should be able to count on us to help in the teaching process, to reinforce their own rules and values, and to add the wisdom gained from our own life experiences as we teach those precious souls.  We also have the opportunity to observe, and in that observation perhaps come up with lessons our grandchildren not only need to hear, but might be more likely to hear from us than from mom and dad. 
            Children are truly a heritage from the Lord (Psa 127:3).  Then they give you grandchildren and prove it all over again.  Be there for them.  Teach them.  Love them.  That's what God expects from a grandparent.
           
As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments.  (Ps 103:15-18)

Dene Ward

Eduard Friedrich Poeppig was born July 16, 1798 in Plauen, Germany.  He studied and qualified as a physician by 1822, but evidently that is not where his heart lay.  Immediately after graduation he made a 10 year expedition to the Americas, spending several years in Cuba, Philadelphia, and South America.  He was only the third European to travel the entire length of the Amazon River.
             His trip was financed by several friends in return for plant specimens he discovered in each of the areas he visited.  In all he sent back or took home over 17,000 of them.  When he returned to Germany he became the Zoology professor at the University of Leipzig for the remainder of his life.
            One of the plants he discovered on a hillside in Chile was the amaryllis hippeastrum, one of the most beautiful plants in the world.  I have well over a dozen now, in a bed begun after a piano student gave me one for Christmas one year.  The deep solid red is probably the most common, but I have that and everything from pale pink and bright apricot, to stripes of white on red, pink, and apricot; pink throats on a pristine white, or white throats on deep orange or red as well.  They are gorgeous, but sometimes they don’t bloom, and that leaves me disappointed, usually with half the bulbs every year.  So I decided to find out what keeps amaryllises from blooming to see if I could remedy the problem.  Here is what I discovered and what I extrapolated.
            Amaryllises will not bloom in full shade.  They may not need full sun, especially in this sub-tropical environment, but they need enough light to draw that big thick stem up out of the bulb and through the soil and mulch.
            The New Testament tells us we need the Light, too.  John says that as long as we walk in the light, we won’t stumble (1 John 2:9-11).  It variously calls us sons of light and children of light; it says we are “of the day not the night.”  And because we have that Light and live in it, we then become “the light of the world.”  Certainly a Christian who does not live in the light will never bloom.
            Amaryllises need sufficient nutrients.  Just as a larger animal needs more food, this large flower needs good soil, and ample food and water.  Many of my amaryllis bulbs were as big as softballs when they came out of the package, and many of the blooms are broader across than some of Keith’s garden cantaloupes.  Especially in this poor sandy soil, we must be sure to supply the proper nutrition if we want anything to come out of it.
            We need nutrition too.  Peter tells us to “long for the pure spiritual milk that by it we may grow up into salvation” 1 Pet 2:2.  How can we do that if we neglect all the feeding opportunities our shepherds have offered us?  How can we do it when we shun the healthy spiritual food and feast on the junk in this life?  I have seen many brothers and sisters go hog wild with the organic, all-natural, non-preservative craze when taking care of their physical bodies, yet starve their spirits with skimpy servings and junk food.  No wonder their blooms are so scarce and puny.
            This might be surprising, but not allowing them to rest will also keep amaryllises from blooming.  You can force blooms at certain times of the year, but then you must prune both the stem and leaves and water them prodigiously until they go dormant.  Then leave them alone! 
            God did not rest on the seventh day because He was tired.  He rested because He was finished, but in that rest he also ordained a day of rest for His people.  Do you understand what that means?  In that ancient time, the common people lived hand to mouth and they worked sunup till sundown seven days a week just to survive.  But not God’s people.  As long as they observed their commanded Sabbath, He made sure they had plenty.  God knows what you need and sometimes you need to rest.  It may no longer be a religious observance, but it is certainly a matter of health.  And rest doesn’t mean going on a vacation that leaves you more worn out than rested.  It means a day with no schedule, no stressful situations, nothing hanging over your head that “just has to be done.”  Spend some time with your family—just one full day a week, any day—rest your body and your mind, and talk of the blessings God has given you all, especially the time you have to be together because He has taken such good care of you.
            And this last one really surprised me.  If you take your amaryllis bulbs out of the ground and store them in the refrigerator, you should not store them with apples.  Apples will make an amaryllis bulb sterile, or so I have been told.  Apples?  Apples are good things, right?  But even things that look good can make a plant sterile and unproductive it turns out. 
            Haven’t you seen the same thing happen to Christians?  They become so involved in things of this world, good things, that there is no time left for producing the fruit God wants from us.  Or they hang around with people who are not their spiritual brothers and sisters to the point that what matters most to those people becomes what matters most to them.  Other people, people who do not understand that we are to encourage one another and build one another up spiritually, who care nothing for the spiritual warfare we are involved in, who would, in fact, think you are nuts to even talk about such a thing, can hinder your productivity for the Lord.
            So take a look at your amaryllises today if you have them.  Think about the things that affect those gorgeous blooms.  See if any of them are affecting you too.
 
And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful, Titus 3:14.
 
Dene Ward
 

Today's post is a continuing study of Proverbs by guest writer, Lucas Ward.

In studying what Proverbs teaches about wealth it is important to remember what was said about proverbs in the first lesson:  these are general statements that are generally true.  They are not absolute in ever case.  Having said that, Proverbs does have a lot to say about wealth.  There are at least 58 individual passages in the book that deal with wealth.

First we should note that wealth is a blessing from God for righteousness. 
Prov. 13:22  "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous."
Prov. 22:4  "The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honor and life."
Obviously, this isn't true in every instance.  Paul died destitute in prison.  Generally speaking, though, if a man is righteous and lives in terms of being a good steward of the blessings God has granted him, he will have something to pass on to his children and grandchildren.  Because he is righteous he is not a drunkard or glutton.  He doesn't waste his income on loose women.  Instead he takes care of what God has bestowed upon him and builds wealth.  We may never obtain Bill Gates' level, but we can be comfortably well-to-do.  In general.

A second point about wealth is that if it was obtained through wickedness, it is not a blessing.
Prov. 10:2  "Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from death." 
Prov. 21:6  "The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death." 
Prov. 22:16  "Whoever oppresses the poor to increase his own wealth, or gives to the rich, will only come to poverty."
Wealth obtained in this way becomes a burden dragging us down rather than a blessing.

Just like Jesus and Paul, Solomon notes several dangers of wealth.  The first is that wealth can lead to a false sense of security.
Prov. 18:10-11  "The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.  A rich man's wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall in his imagination."

The rich man trusts in his wealth to protect him.  His wealth is his strong city, rather than the name of the Lord.  All to often we can come to rely on our wealth protect us rather than relying on God.  As the next verse shows, it is our righteousness before Him that will deliver us, not our wealth.
Prov. 11:4  "Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death." 

Wealth can also lead to an inflated ego:
Prov. 28:11  "A rich man is wise in his own eyes, but a poor man who has understanding will find him out." 
Prov. 11:7  "When the wicked dies, his hope will perish, and the expectation of wealth perishes too."
The rich man thinks he is wise just because he is rich.  He thinks his wealth makes him better than others.  However, he dies like everyone else.  His inflated ego does him no good then.

Sometimes being wealthy can put you in physical danger:
Prov. 13:8  "The ransom of a man's life is his wealth, but a poor man hears no threat." 
Have you ever noticed that really, truly wealthy people rarely go anywhere without guards?  They are in constant danger from everything from annoying time-wasters to kidnappers demanding a ransom.  Solomon notes that the poor man hears no threat.  The wealthy is at risk because he is wealthy.

A final danger of wealth is that of false friends.
Prov. 19:4  "Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend."
Prov. 19:6-7  "Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.  All a poor man's brothers hate him; how much more do his friends go far from him! He pursues them with words, but does not have them."
 
Everyone loves the man who gives gifts, but do they really love him or the gifts he gives?  The new friends that wealth brings are often phony.  We can leave the discussion of the dangers of wealth with these two passages:
Prov. 23:4-5  "Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist.  When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven."
Prov. 30:7-9  "Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die:  Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?” or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God."
                                
Despite all the warnings, Solomon also gives some practical advice on how to obtain wealth.
Prov. 13:11  "Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it."
I once heard that about two thirds of all lottery winners are bankrupt within three years of winning the jackpot.  The wealth that lasts is the wealth built up slowly, over years, while one learns from his mistakes and learns how to hold on to it.  Building wealth takes time.  It also takes work.
Prov. 12:11  Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense. 
Prov. 12:24  The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor. 
Prov. 12:27  Whoever is slothful will not roast his game, but the diligent man will get precious wealth. 
Prov. 13:4  The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. 
Prov. 14:23  In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. 
If you are busy doing what you are supposed to be doing you will always have enough to eat, but if you are chasing get-rich-quick schemes, you'll get into trouble.  It is the diligent who will rule, who will obtain wealth, who will be richly supplied.  The profit is in the work, talk is cheap.

If you want to become wealthy, listen to and learn from those who have already done it.
Prov. 13:18  "Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored." 
Prov. 24:3-4  "By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches."
It is by wisdom and knowledge that wealth is built.  Ignoring instruction leads to poverty. 

Also, work must be done in its proper order if the best results are to be achieved.
Prov. 24:27  Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house. 
If you spend all spring building your house, you will find yourself in the middle of summer with nothing planted in the fields.  You just missed an entire year's harvest because you worked out of order.  This surely can be applied to almost any endeavor.  Take a moment to think about it and do the jobs in the appropriate order to maximize results.

One thing Solomon said about building wealth was especially interesting.  If you want to build wealth, be generous.
Prov. 14:21  Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor. 
Prov. 19:17  Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed. 
Prov. 28:8  Whoever multiplies his wealth by interest and profit gathers it for him who is generous to the poor. 
Prov. 28:22  A stingy man hastens after wealth and does not know that poverty will come upon him. 
Blessed are the generous.  Being generous is like making a loan to God.  You know that will be repaid.  The purpose of wealth is to be generous, and, in general, the stingy never obtain wealth. 

The final bit of practical advice Solomon gives regarding wealth building is to never be a pledge for others.  In other words, never cosign anything.  [Now, don't go off on a tangent or I won't sign your check!]
Prov. 22:26-27  "Be not one of those who give pledges, who put up security for debts.  If you have nothing with which to pay, why should your bed be taken from under you?"
The reason they need a cosigner is because they can't pay.  Eventually, you are forced to take over the debt and then the repo man is coming after your stuff.   At least four times Solomon warns against this practice.
 
Finally, after giving practical advice for obtaining wealth, Solomon makes sure to tell us that there are more important things than wealth.
Prov. 15:16-17  "Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble with it.  Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it."
Prov. 20:15  "There is gold and abundance of costly stones, but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel."
Prov. 22:1-2  "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.  The rich and the poor meet together; the LORD is the Maker of them all." 
Prov. 28:6  "Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways."

Fear of the Lord, love, knowledge, a good name, and integrity are all more important than wealth.  Those are the issues we should be focusing on, and if the Lord blesses us in the meantime, great. 

Matt. 6:20-21  "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
 
 Lucas Ward

We have grown some of the ugliest tomatoes you have ever seen.  Some of them have lobes that distort their perfect globe shape into something that looks like a mutant in a horror show.  Some of them have brown creases.  Some are crescent shaped instead of round.  Some have “noses.” One in particular had the ski nose of a Bob Hope caricature.  Some look like Siamese Twins.  Excuse me for this, but one looked like it needed a bra!  Usually they have spots of some sort—brown, black or white, depending upon what caused the spot.  Often they sport a bird peck or two.  If you were standing in a store looking at these things, you would turn away and look for something prettier without even giving them a sniff.
            And you would miss out on some of the best tasting tomatoes we have ever grown—especially the Cherokee Purples.  We usually have a platter of sliced tomatoes on the table every day during garden season, and many of those slices are far less than perfectly round.  It isn’t just the odd shapes, it’s also the bad spots we cut out.  As long as it hasn’t spread to the pulp, you can often save half or more of a wonderful tomato--sweet, juicy, slightly acidic, with a full round tomato flavor.
            And many times we stand in the “store” we call life and pick out the worst people just because of how good they look.  This lesson is as old as the hills and one of the first our children are taught.   No one thought David could possibly be the king God had in mind but he was because, “man looks on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart” 1 Sam 16:7.
              But no, we haven’t learned it any better than our children have.  We still ignore the ones who stand on the periphery, who don’t share our standard of living, who don’t speak exactly like we do, who don’t dress like we do, who certainly aren’t the good-looking extroverts everyone praises and wants to be around.  We live in a society that idolizes celebrity and we do the same in the church.  Even the preacher has to be handsome, or at least famous, or we won’t invite him for a gospel meeting.
            Israel did the same thing and look what they wound up with:
And he had a son whose name was Saul, a handsome young man. There was not a man among the people of Israel more handsome than he. From his shoulders upward he was taller than any of the people, 1Sam 9:2.
Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him, 2Sam 14:25.
            Then there was Jesus.  For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. ​He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not, Isa 53:2-3.  Do you understand that means you would have thought him plain, maybe even a little homely?  Would you have turned away from him the way you do from that one who stands off to the side at church or neighborhood or school gatherings?  Singles out there:  Does a young man or young lady have to be “hot” before you will even talk to them?
            Yep, we still stand at the tomato display looking for perfectly round red tomatoes without a single blemish and wind up with bland anemic knots that, in a blind taste test wouldn’t pass for a tomato any more than a watermelon would.  Look around you today and use the insight God gave you.  No, you can’t look on their hearts, but you can sure look a whole lot deeper than you usually do.
 
Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment, John 7:24.
 
Dene Ward

I never heard the word as a child.  And I was born and raised in Florida.
            Summer is hot here, as it was then, nearly six decades ago as I played outside every day.  We lived on a cul-de-sac, the same one as two of my first cousins.  It would probably be classified as upper lower class these days, a blue collar neighborhood of tiny tract houses—far too tiny for four girls to romp around inside.  We ran, jumped rope, swung, swam, biked up and down what we thought was a real hill, and played games we made up with rules that changed at our whim.  We knew it was hot, but we seldom thought about it.  The heat rolled in waves across the street, and even the few breezes blew hot.  We played until the sweat showed in white rivulets down our otherwise grimy faces and dripped off our chins and ear lobes.  We just kept on playing because that's all there was to do—that we could afford anyway.  We only had three TV channels and cartoons didn't start until 4:00. 
          Every hour or so we would all tromp into the kitchen where we were playing, either theirs or ours.  Each of our mothers kept a half gallon jug of plain tap water in the fridge.  No Gatorade, no Kool-Aid, no fruit juice, lemonade, or sodas.  Even sweet tea was considered a luxury afforded only for meals.  When we came in for the cold jug of water we drank most of it, then refilled it, and stuck it back in the fridge for the next break, which might or might not be on any schedule.  We didn't want to ruin a game by stopping in the middle of it.  Between us we probably drank a couple gallons of water every morning, and again every afternoon.  And that's with no potty breaks—we simply sweated it all away.
            No one told us to do it.  No one taught us about staying hydrated to stay healthy.  We were thirsty so we all came in and drank to our hearts' content, and promptly felt better and were able to play even more, which was the whole point, right?
            Funny how the Lord can't get us to stay hydrated.  We don't want to take a break in our busy lives to drink that living water, and we don't even realize we're thirsty for it--not until life hands us a nasty surprise and we have no strength to handle it.  We think that fancy spring water is just as good; that the fruit flavored variety will be a lot easier to stomach, so we waste our thirst on fluff that won't do the job.  Then we collapse on the floor of our trials and don't even have the energy to look for God's real thing.
            If we had only taken the time, we would have had what we needed, what sits in the fridge waiting whenever we want it—if only we realized that we did want it, like a certain woman long ago who understood its value immediately.  Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.”  (John 4:13-15).
            Like children playing in the hot summer sun of Florida, this woman did not have to be told what she needed.  What is getting in our way, what keeps us from seeing what we need so desperately?  Stay hydrated—with the water that truly makes a difference.
 
With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. And you will say in that day: “Give thanks to the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted."  (Isa 12:3-4).
 
Dene Ward
 

A young lady recently asked me how she could serve her elderly sisters in the Lord.  Bless her heart, I thought.  Here is someone who, despite her youth (mid-20s), really understands how God feels about his aged children.
            You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the LORD  (Lev 19:32).
            Since the government now considers me "elderly," you would think I have a lot of answers to give her.  The thing is, while I may move slower, wear out faster, and hurt more, I really don't feel "elderly."  When you start talking about the elderly, I always think you are talking about someone else.  But I did care for my mother until her death at 91, and I know very well what she liked and needed.
            My mother liked to "go."  She couldn't handle long rides, but she loved eating lunch out after a short shopping trip or a visit to the doctor.  She especially loved dinner at our house.  When we picked her up, she would gaze out the car window as if she had never been anywhere in her life, even if it was the same old rural highway, along the same old fields and forests to my house.  A couple of hours, and sometimes not that much, was about all she could handle, especially the last year, but her mood lifted and she slept better that night just from the added activity.
            Her next favorite things were visits.  Visits break up the monotony of the day and keep one day from blending into the next.  If you don't know what to talk about when you visit, stop worrying.  Those older people have lived lives just as busy and exciting as yours.  Just ask a question or two, then sit back and let them talk.
            We spent some time with an elderly lady at church, and were happy to attend her ninetieth birthday party.  I had never known anyone but the gray-haired, no bigger than a minute lady who wore glasses every bit as thick as the ones I had as a child.  She seldom talked at church, but would give you a beautiful smile if you simply said hello.  At her party, her children had put out some old photos and there on the table was a petite, and gorgeous, brunette in her 20s. 
            "Is that you?" I asked. 
         "Oh yes," she said.  "That was when I toured Europe with the USO, entertaining the troops during World War II."  I nearly choked on my birthday cake.  I had had no idea.
            In my mother's last years I heard stories I would have never known if we had not moved her close to us and had those years together.  Things she had never spoken about before, including her conversion, hers and Daddy's honeymoon, and stories of her childhood with a Grandmother who died before I was born.  Older people love to reminisce.  Those memories are about all they have.  Go visit and give them an outlet.  You will be amazed at what you hear. Question after question will come to you with no trouble at all, and you will make them feel important again.
           And that's what they want more than anything else—to feel like they matter to someone.  No one wants to feel like a burden, like someone to be tolerated and a duty to be performed.  They need to feel like they still have something to offer, perhaps some wise advice or just an entertaining story.  That's what you can give them with hardly any effort at all.
           Most of you will become one of those elderly people one day.  You will understand then, but you will be stuck right where they are now, hoping someone realizes that they used to be an interesting person too.  Set the example for others now so that you don't wind up sitting in your rocker, day after lonely day, watching the world pass by, thinking that you don't matter to anyone any longer.
 
​Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life  (Prov 16:31).
 
Dene Ward

Keith had to have some fairly serious surgery last year and since he is 90% deaf, the doctor arranged for me to be in his hospital room as his caregiver 24/7.  He does read lips fairly well, but lip reading is not the perfect solution to the problem.  He must “fill in the blanks,” so to speak, as his mind tries to interpret the sounds his ears miss, which is most of them.  It takes a lot of concentration, and when he is tired or does not feel well, he simply cannot hear at all.  But over the years I have learned how to communicate in all the various ways, from hand signals to pantomime to pointing at people or things to carefully wording without overdoing the mouth movements or using too many words. 
            So for six days we were both away from home and wouldn’t you know it, it was the height of garden season.  When we came home I had to do it all because he couldn’t even lift more than 10 pounds for two months, let alone bend over to pick vegetables or drag hoses.  That first week was the worst.  I picked every morning, sprayed the whole garden twice, (we’re talking an 80 x 80 garden here), pulled cucumber vines covered with blight, chopped out and hauled away the old corn stalks, placed folded newspapers under 50 cantaloupes so they wouldn’t rot on the ground (a very thin-skinned variety), cleaned out weed-choked flower beds, put up both dill and red cinnamon pickles, and picked and tossed 8 five gallon buckets of squash and cucumbers that did not have the grace to stop growing while we were in the hospital!
            Of course we all know that is not going to happen.  The plants continue to grow, the blossoms continue to set, and the fruit grows far larger than you ever imagined it could.  The back field looked like a marching band had gone through throwing out big yellow saxophones as they passed.
            It works that way with children too.  I can think of dozens of things we planned to do with our boys when they were little—things we never got to.  Sometimes it was a case of no money, but sometimes we just let life get in the way.  I wrack my brain trying to remember if there was anything we planned that we actually accomplished at all!  But just like gardens, children keep on growing.  They don’t stop to wait until you have more time to spend with them, or more resources to spend on them.  They won’t wait till you get a bigger house or an easier job or a raise.  They won’t wait until your life is exactly like you want it.  If that’s what you are waiting for, it will never happen.  You have to set your own priorities and make it happen.
            Every summer I made my boys a chore list.  I am sure they remember it fondly!  No, probably not, but on that list was this:  “Play a game with mom.”  Guess which “chore” they never skipped?  Sometimes it was checkers, sometimes it was monopoly, sometimes it was even pinochle, a game they learned with some of their dad’s commentaries set up on the table to hide their hands because they were too small to hold all the cards at once.  Sometimes it was one of the board games I made to help them with their Bible knowledge.  And every day we had Bible study of some kind, whether just talking about things between the bean rows as we picked together or a formal sit down study. 
            These are just some ideas to help you along.  We have all heard the old poem “Children Don’t Wait.”  It’s true, and last summer I thought about that even more as I looked out over the overgrown garden.  Maybe my grandsons will reap a little from the repeat of a lesson that is never taught enough.
 
And he said unto them, Set your heart unto all the words which I testify unto you this day, which you shall command your children to observe to do, even all the words of this law. For it is no vain thing for you; because it is your life...Deut 32:46-47.
 
Dene Ward