Part 2 in a continuing series by guest writer Keith Ward, appearing on the final Monday of the month.  For Part 1, scroll down to December 31, 2018.
 
I have always known these principles: I memorized Ephesians for Homer Hailey's "Scheme of Redemption" class; I took Roland Lewis's "Home and Family" class; I preached sermons; I wrote the goals and objectives for the men when our church divided the men and women for family classes; with Dene's assistance, I taught marriage and parenting classes to both the High School and College age classes. So, WHY did I find myself riding my bicycle 13 miles home from work as slowly as possible because I did not know what to say or do about a situation between us?  I did not even know for sure whose fault it was or how to proceed to find out without creating a bigger problem.  Well, I did manage that, I was so late she worried and came looking for me. So, "Knowledge puffs up."  And, the answers are not always easy and there is a learning curve on applying what you know.

It might help us to note that God never said to the husbands that they are the head.  He said that to the wives.  It seems like a small distinction but the difference it creates in perspective has caused chasms in relationships for hundreds of years.  In fact, that small difference often leads to a domineering attitude in husbands that is foreign to the context of "subjecting [our]selves one to another," and especially to the first command to husbands, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it."

To understand our role as husbands, we men must consider that Christ was head, though he only gave—gave himself up over and over again.  And he did so without complaint or resentment.  First, he gave up his place with and equal with God to become a man.  A fact we treat as a theological argument rather than the tremendous yielding (emptying self) that it was (Phil 2:5-7).  The creator became a creature.  Next, he walked through a world of sin.  Sometimes city people cannot stand the sights and smells of real farm life.  Anyone who has gathered eggs knows they do not come as clean as they do in the grocery store carton.  Imagine the disgust an absolutely holy being would have toward rebellious, self-destructive sin.  And, he walked among and had compassion toward these sinners.  Last, he died and in dying became sin on our behalf (2 Cor 5:21).  At no point did or does this one who is "far above all rule, and authority, and power, and dominion, and every name that is named" in his role as head of the church coerce anyone to do anything (Eph 1:21).  He
wooed his people to him by giving himself up.

When men discuss this, they end the matter with, "I would be willing to die for my wife. Next verse, brother ________."  Whoa!  Back up just a bit—Is dying all that Jesus did for us? 

The Word gave up who he was and became someone else, Jesus, for his bride.   Unscripturally, many men not only do not change when they become husbands, they see no need to change.  Jesus' example leaves no wiggle room at all for the husband about his willingness to change for his wife.  And, remember, Jesus did it before his bride subjected herself and as a motive to lead her to do so.  "That's just not who I am and she knew that when she married me," is not a valid excuse.  A man determined to belong to God must consider the changes he needs to make to be the head of his wife.  Not only may different women have different needs, but the same woman will have changing needs as life progresses.  That means the husband imitating Christ cannot stay the same either.  "But what about my rights as head?"  Go consider: What about Jesus' rights? No man ever had more power than Jesus. Yet, he never used any of it to get his way about anything. Even so ought husbands to act toward their wives.

Since "head" is the way the wife is commanded to treat him and not a license for the husband to boss, he should give himself up by working to develop mutual decisions and plans. He must show consideration for her ideas and her desires by listening to her as equal partners in your life before God. In fact, imitating Christ may require him to give up his desires, his way for hers.

A man may cling to his rights and privileges.  A husband may give up his hobbies, his plans, his buddies, his dreams to demonstrate his love for his bride.  He must not wait until she asks or cries about his neglect; he must wisely consider and use his power to act on her behalf by yielding. When she sees that he loves her so, she will submit joyfully and change into the help suitable for him so that they two become one in heart.

Elkanah gave up his right to overturn Hannah's vow, gave up his son, gave up a bull for a sacrifice (1Sam 1; Num 30:12).  God says that "the husband has not power over his own body, but the wife" (1Cor 7:4).  If a husband cannot be boss over his own body, why would he be boss over his time?  His preferences?  His habits?  His only goal as God's man is to give himself up with purpose to shape her into God's woman.

Approximately half the population is men; many are married, few are husbands.  Are you even on the journey to becoming one?
 
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18). 

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).
 
Keith Ward

Winter in North Florida brings a mixed bag.  We have warm temperatures, cool temperatures, and downright frigid temperatures.  We have dry fronts and wet fronts.  We have rain, sleet, flurries, and even enough snow to stick for a day—once every twenty or thirty years. One year we had a winter storm with 100 mph winds, several inches of rain, a freeze, and power outages for a couple of days.  All in Florida, "The Sunshine State." 

In the past two weeks we have had flood watches, wind advisories, and both frost and freeze warnings.  In the country we watch those things more than the city folks do.  Most of us have a fall/winter garden that might need covering, a well that needs to stay warm enough to run, and hoses and pipes "in the open."  And power is iffy, even on the sunniest of days.  All it takes is some lineman to sneeze for us to lose it for a few hours.  So we keep up with those advisories.

We will do that for this physical, temporal world.  Will we keep up with advisories for our souls?  The scriptures warn us again and again that the Devil is out there like a lion "seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8).  He has tricks up his sleeve (2 Cor 2:11).  He sends out his own helpers disguised as "ministers of righteousness" (2 Cor 11:15).

We are told again and again, "Be sober," "Be watchful," "Be alert," "Be on guard,"  "Be vigilant."  How many times do we ignore those sin advisories and just let the Devil waltz on into our lives unchallenged?

A lot of people in Florida have tried to ignore hurricane warnings, treating them like a big joke.  Many of them have learned better the hard way.  Are we doing the same thing with our souls?
 
Give no opportunity to the Devil. Eph 4:27
 
Dene Ward

You will find dates from 1793 to 1796 for its opening, but evidently this one is on record and cannot be denied.  The property for the City Hotel in New York City was bought on January 24, 1793.  It was the first building built to be a hotel in America.  At 73 rooms it was huge for the time, but then New York City already boasted a population of 30,000.  It was also the first building in the city with a slate roof.  Hotels have come a long way—some of them anyway.

                About fifteen years ago, a music teacher friend and I attended a state level vocal competition in a small Florida town.  She was the state treasurer, the one who handed out checks to judges and scholarship winners.  I was the accompanist for two of the entrants.  When we tried to make our reservations, the one hotel in town, an old Southern relic complete with ceiling fans and rockers on a wood-planked front porch, was booked solid and had been for months.  Our only choice was the motel up by the interstate.  We did not expect much, given the name on the sign and the price, so we weren’t surprised when we quickly stopped by to deposit our bags and saw the size of the room in the gloom.  We had no time to inspect the premises or even turn on a light or open the shades.  We just dumped our bags and drove on to the competition.
 
             When we returned about ten o’clock that night, we almost left our things and fled, but there was no place to run to.  The parking lot had been empty at 5 pm, but now it was full of souped-up, high rise, four wheel drive pickups, their fenders caked with streaks of mud and their windows with dust.  Evidently their owners also found their rooms cramped, because it seemed like all of them were standing outside, laughing uproariously at one another’s jokes and adding to their flannel-clad beer bellies by the six pack, several of which they tossed around. 

              We actually had to pull in between two of those trucks, and all talking ceased as we left our car.  I have never been so thrilled with my regular accompanist’s attire—a plain, black, mid-calf dress with a high neck and long sleeves.  My friend wore a dressy business suit, and we were both on the wrong side of forty, so they let us pass without a word.  When we got inside, we locked the door, put a chair under the knob, and pinned those still closed draperies overlapped and shut. 

              Then we saw our room in the light for the first time.  You could barely get between the outside edge of each bed and its neighboring wall.  The rod for our hanging clothes was loose on one end, and couldn’t support the weight of even my one dress, much less it and her suit.  The soap was half the size of the usual motel sliver, and the bath towels more like hand towels.  The pipes rattled, the tub sported a rust streak the color and width of a lock of Lucy’s hair, and the carpet had so many stains it looked like a planned pattern.

              After we managed to shower in the tepid, anemic stream of water, we pulled down the sheets and my friend moaned, “Oh no.”  With some trepidation I approached her bed in my nightgown and heels—neither of us wanted to go barefoot and they were all I had—and there lying on her pillow was a long black hair.  Her hair was short and very blond, she being a Minnesotan by birth with a strong streak of Norse in her veins.  “Please tell me the maid lost this hair when she was putting on clean—very clean—sheets.”

              “Okay,” I muttered.  “The maid lost that hair when she was putting on clean—ultra clean and highly bleached—sheets.”

              When we got to bed, it wasn’t to sleep.  Not with the noise going on in the parking lot just outside our door or in the neighboring rooms.  The walls seemed as thin as tent walls.  We rose in the morning bleary-eyed and ready to leave as quickly as possible.  This place offered no “free breakfast” and we would not have eaten it if it had.  We promised one another that if we ever had to come back and couldn’t get a room in town, we would stay anywhere else, even if it meant a fifty mile drive, one way. 

              It was a horrible experience, but some of us offer one just like it to the Lord.

              For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, Eph 3:14-17.

              According to Paul, it takes effort to allow Christ to dwell in our hearts, enough that he prayed for them to have the strength to allow it.  Are you allowing it?  And if you are, what sort of accommodations are you offering him? 

              Making a welcoming environment for him may not happen overnight, especially if we are dealing with deep-seated habits or even addictions of one sort or another.  He understands that, but we must constantly be adjusting our behavior to suit him, not ourselves, putting his desires ahead of our own, becoming, in fact, a completely different person altogether.  Wherefore if any man is in Christ, [he is] a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, they are become new, 2 Cor 5:17.

              But this isn’t just a problem for new Christians.  I have seen older Christians act as if Christ is nowhere nearby, much less dwelling in their hearts.  Their language, their fits of pique, their dress, their choice of entertainment, and the complete lack of spiritual nourishment they partake of starved him and ran him off a long time ago, and they don’t even seem to realize it.  What?  Do you really think he will stay in a flophouse instead of the four star hotel you should have offered him?

              What it all boils down to is a failure to live like we have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me, Gal 2:20.  Did you see that?  Allowing him to dwell in you (Eph 3:17) and living a new crucified life both happen “by faith.”  Even if you have been claiming to be a Christian for decades, if you are not living up to it, you do not have the faith required.  It doesn’t matter how many times you were dipped into a baptistery if nothing about you changed, or if you have gone back to that old way of life.

              What sort of room are you offering the Lord?  He spent a lot for it, and he will walk out if you don’t live up to the name on your sign—Christian.
 
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! 2 Cor 13:5.
 
Dene Ward

It was almost amusing when it happened. 

              Many years ago at one of the congregations where Keith preached, one of the older men made it a point to say to him, “I know you are a hard worker.  But you still have children at home.  You need to make sure you spend time with them.” 

              We appreciated that.  Keith was a hard worker, spending at least 30 hours a week with the Word, just as Paul told Timothy and Titus they needed to be doing as young evangelists, plus the four hours preaching and teaching in the assembly every week, and then holding Bible studies, usually in the evenings, with interested people, or looking for more interested folks as he passed out flyers and meeting announcements, sent out and graded correspondence courses, and wrote articles in the local paper.  I often met him at the local pond loaded down with old towels and blankets, especially in the winter, for a baptism.  He seldom worked less than 60 hours a week.

              Yet not long afterward, the same man’s wife came up to him and scolded him because he had missed putting an article in the paper the week we moved from one house to another.  Everything else was done, but something had to give that week, and he preferred that one article not be written rather than his boys not have time with their father.

              I fear too many churches are more like the wife of that couple than the husband.  Especially if a man is supported mainly by other churches, the pressure is felt, even if it isn’t applied.  Then there are the men who do not even need that pressure to avoid their obligations at home, using the same excuse  Here is what Jesus had to say about that. 

              And he said to them, "You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.' But you say, 'If a man tells his father or his mother, "Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban"' (that is, given to God)-- then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do."  Mark 7:9-13.

              Those people got out of their financial obligations to their elderly parents by claiming their money was “given to God,” whether or not it ever actually made it to the Temple coffers! 

              “And many such things you do,” Jesus tacked on the end of that. .”  As long as you can say you are using it for God, whatever “it” is, you don’t have to give it to anyone else.  Tell me that saying your time is given to God (Corban) so it’s all right if you don’t spend enough of it with your children to teach them basic skills of life, to discuss the Word of God “when you walk and talk,” to just listen to their childish concerns and give them the fatherly wisdom they crave, or enough time to nurture your relationship with the wife whom you have come to take for granted, aren’t “such things.

              I have seen old pioneer preachers lauded for sacrificing their family lives to go off for months at a time to preach the gospel.  I am not sure the Lord would have been among their admirers.  If they were single, fine, but choosing to have a family places other obligations on you.  Isn’t that what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7?  I would rather you be like me (single) so you do not have the obligations that having a family puts on you, duties which God does expect you to fulfill.  Paul certainly didn’t say those obligations were negated by spiritual things.

              Churches need to look at their preachers’ schedules for this reason:  see if he is raising his children; see if he is spending time with his wife.  The Lord made a family with both a mother and a father present in the home.  He made the woman to be a help not a substitute father.  Jesus said, “Don’t blame what you do for God as the reason you neglect your family obligations.”  He says you make void the Word of God when you do that.  Churches, do you want to be a party, or perhaps the main cause, for a man to make void the Word of God?

              And we can also say this applies to anyone who hides behind “spiritual things” to avoid his family responsibilities—he is calling his family, “Corban.”

              We call the argument about “quality time” between working mothers and their children a “myth.”  Quality time can only happen when a quantity of time is being spent.  What applies to mothers, certainly applies to fathers too.  Jesus seems to agree.
 
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4.  Read that without the parenthetical statement—just the underlined words.
 
Dene Ward

We are a self-centered and selfish culture.  If you think that has not found its way into the church, you are wrong.  If you think it hasn’t found its way into your own heart, you are probably wrong again.  Have these words ever left your mouth?  “No one came to see me when I was sick/injured/in the hospital?”  There is your evidence right there.

             God meant for us to minister to others every day and in every circumstance of life.  Too often, if we see our lives as a ministry at all, we see it as periods of service broken up by periods when we cannot serve—for example, when we are ill.  In other words, when things don’t come easily, when things are not perfect, we are “on break” or “out to lunch.” 

              If anyone had an excuse for taking a break, it was Paul while he was in prison.  Yet he tells the Philippians that he was fulfilling his mission to preach the gospel, “this grace,” even while imprisoned, Phil 1:5-7.  God recently taught us this lesson of perpetual ministry in a way we will not soon forget.

              Keith had major surgery in May that kept him in the hospital five days.  In fact, it kept me in with him since I can more easily communicate with this deaf spouse of 40 years than anyone else can, and I took care of many basic nursing chores too.  

              We have always made it a point to treat service people as people, not personal slaves or furniture.  Many waitresses have told us they remember us from earlier visits precisely because of that.  We tried to do the same with the hospital medical staff.  We didn’t complain; we didn’t make demands; we took care of our own needs as often as possible, and said please and thank you when we had to ask for something.  We never really thought about that—it’s just something we do because the Lord would have us treat everyone kindly and with respect.

              One night one of the nurses took me aside and asked about our “religion.”  “There’s something different about you,” she said, and gave me an opening to talk with her about the Lord and our church family. 

              Another night one of the nurses stayed in our room talking to us far longer than she needed in order to accomplish her task.  Finally she said with a sigh, “I need to go check on the others, but I’ll be back to talk more when I can.”

              Yet another day, one of the nurses who had been with us for three days was leaving for four days off, and knew that she wouldn’t see us again.  She made a point to come say good-bye. 

              While we were there we handed out tracts and blog cards.  We wrote down church addresses and website addresses.  We gave out email addresses.  Although we had taken those things with us “just in case,” I was shocked at how many we were able to give out, at how many people wanted to talk.  We thought we needed their care, but God showed us how to give it right back.

              What is happening in your life right now?  Don’t assume that you cannot serve when you are physically indisposed.  Don’t hang an “out to lunch” sign on your life because you have too much going on right now to pay attention to anyone else.  What did Jesus do while he was hanging on the cross?  How many did he minister to?  His mother, a thief, the very men who drove the nails, and all of us as he died for our sins.

              Jesus expects us to live as he did, thinking of others’ needs first.  If you have done it long enough, it comes without thought, even in turbulent times, painful times, sorrowful times.  The trick is to do it while things are good.  Do it in the grocery store.  Do it on the freeway.  Do it at school and work and when you speak to your neighbor.  It must become natural in order to come automatically in trying circumstances.  Any difficulty you have, especially when things are easy, is a telling factor—it shows how little you have been working on it.

              Service, first, last, always--and regardless of circumstances—that is the motto of a true disciple of Christ.
 
I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ, Philippians 1:12-13.
To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak, Ephesians 6:18-20.
 
Dene Ward

Stomach trouble seems to run in our family.  I remember my Daddy eating Di-gel tablets like they were candy.  Then I inherited his problem and had my first ulcer at 23.  Way too much acid that was aided and abetted by carrying a 9 ¼ lb, 22 inch baby so high I looked like a walking beach ball.  My younger son picked up the acid problem with an acid level even higher than mine.  On my mother's side everyone had gall stones, so I followed suit as did my older son.
 
             No matter how healthy you are, stomach trouble can debilitate you, in sometimes embarrassing ways, and it is almost always affected by what we eat.  I remember introducing my first baby to sweet potatoes.  His little tummy rumbled and grumbled in such an alarming way that I was sure any second that child would launch out of the infant seat and orbit the kitchen.  He certainly had enough propulsion to do so.  At least that experience benefited his little brother.  I mixed his sweet potatoes with other mashed veggies the first time, like carrots or peas, though I would never recommend the color that peas and sweet potatoes make when mixed together for any painting project.

              As many times as the metaphor of eating is applied to the Word of God, those memories made me sit back and think a bit.

              God once told Ezekiel, “Son of man, eat whatever you find here. Eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel. "So I opened my mouth, and he gave me this scroll to eat. And he said to me, “Son of man, feed your belly with this scroll that I give you and fill your stomach with it.” Then I ate it, and it was in my mouth as sweet as honey. Ezek 3:1-3

              John had a similar experience.  So I went to the angel and told him to give me the little scroll. And he said to me, “Take and eat it; it will make your stomach bitter, but in your mouth it will be sweet as honey." And I took the little scroll from the hand of the angel and ate it. It was sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it my stomach was made bitter. Rev 10:9-10

              Both of those prophets had a great respect and love for the Word of God.  That's where the "sweet as honey" comes in.  But neither one of them loved the message they had to deliver; John, one of an upcoming persecution greater than God's people had ever experienced, and Ezekiel, trying to convince a hardheaded people that Jerusalem would indeed be destroyed in a most horrible way and that they were the true remnant, the only hope for God's people and the World.  Yet both of those men, because of their devotion to God, fulfilled their missions.  Their abiding love for God made their prophecies palatable.

              I have heard both preachers and elders, lately, beg a congregation full of God's people to "get into the Word."  When we have to beg, when we have to bargain like a parent with a toddler—"Eat just one bite and you can have some dessert"—how much love for the Word are we exhibiting?  How much commitment to our Savior do we really have?

              If we are what we claim, we should long to fill ourselves with those words.  We should clamor for more.  If nothing else, like an adult we should understand that eating our vegetables is better for us than eating French fries, desserts, or candy, and do it without needing a bribe.  At least one has a hope of developing a taste for the profound, the spiritual, the Truth if he tries it once in a while. 

              My mother used to mash the carrots and potatoes from the pot roast and mix them together so I would eat the carrots.  Now I have matured and do just fine, thank you.  What won't you eat, even for the sake of saving your soul?
 
How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Ps 119:103
 
Dene Ward
 

One morning on a camping trip to Stone Mountain Park in Georgia, we were awakened by acorn shells gently falling from the tree above us onto the taut surface of our tent.  A squirrel had picked that limb overhead as his breakfast counter.  In the early morning gray of pre-dawn it was mildly irritating—this was supposed to be a vacation, after all, sleeping in was part of the deal—but when you choose an outdoor venue for your vacation, you realize that encounters with nature should be expected.

              I was reminded of that trip this morning.  Our home sits under some monstrous live oaks.  They deliver cooling, and budget-saving, shade in the summer, but in the fall, they provide a handy pantry for the local fauna.  We have done our best to shoo those varmints away for the sake of the aviary we have set up around us, both feeders and houses.  That means more acorns remain to fall on our metal roof.

              About six-thirty, when the morning breezes pick up, the barrage began.  I do not know if it is the metal or if our acorns just happen to be heavier or larger than the average acorn, but it did not sound like pieces of shell gently falling from a limb above—it sounded like a bunch of monkeys throwing coconuts as hard as they could just to see what sort of trouble they could cause.  We were up early on a Saturday morning whether we wanted to be or not.

              I have some brethren like that.  Sometimes things need to be said, granted.  Souls are at stake.  The Word of God must be defended.  But do we have to throw coconuts at six AM?  Does a preacher need to be castigated on the church house doorstep in front of visitors from the community and new converts when we disagree with a sermon?  Do we need to waylay a sister at a potluck where, even in the corner of the room, everyone can see what's going on—especially if she runs out the door crying? 

               When we do what has to be done, some acorn pieces will inevitably fall on the tent roof and wake people up—but that's the point, isn't it?  Waking them up, not beating them down.  If time and opportunity are short we may need to take a deep breath and do what needs to be done no matter what others may think, but hurling coconuts as hard as possible just to cause trouble is a far cry from the empathy that does its best to reach another's heart with as little collateral damage as possible.  That is why so many preachers will dare to remind the wayward children at a funeral, "Your mother wants nothing more than to be with you again in Eternity.  Look at yourself and do what you need to do to make that happen."  Most of the time, the mothers have asked those preachers to say just that.  They are not monkeys with coconuts; they are doing their best to be a squirrel with an acorn.

              So today, ask yourself why you do what you do.  Are you really concerned for souls, or do you just want to be the center of controversy, the one who gets to show that sinner what's what?  Are you quietly eating your acorns, or are you just a monkey throwing coconuts as hard as you can?
 
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Gal 6:1-3
 
Dene Ward

Four year old Silas and I were visiting one of the rooms depicting the ten plagues during Vacation Bible School.  Number seven was hail with thunder and lightning and fire running along the ground, the robed narrator told us as he stood before drawn curtains.  The lights were dimmed, one of the curtains pulled open, and suddenly white hail fell from the sky, and glowing fire ran along the floor.  The children oohed and aahed and squealed with delight.  Then the curtain was drawn again, but not quite before the lights came up and I saw white ping-pong balls scattered all over the floor.  The narrator quickly continued the tale, moving onto the plague of locusts depicted behind the other curtain in the room.

              Several minutes later we left for the next stop on our “journey” and, as we did, I leaned over and whispered to Silas, “Wow!  Did you see that hail?”

              “Yes,” he said, and then added, “Hail looks a lot like ping-pong balls, doesn’t it?”

              I wasn’t about to ruin the magic of the evening for him.  The point of the week was to learn that God was the only God and He protected His people, and the church was doing an admirable job of it.  Me?  I never would have even thought of using ping-pong balls. 

              But sometime in the future it will be time to teach Silas this lesson:  if someone tells you it’s hail, but it looks like ping-pong balls, check it out yourself!  Do you know how many people have been deceived by false teaching, even though the truth was plainly in front of them, just because they wouldn’t question their “pastor,” their “elder,” their “reverend,” or their “priest?”  Keith and I each have held studies where the student said, “Yes, I can see that, but that’s not what my _______ says.”  Before much longer, the studies stopped.  Why do we think our leaders are infallible?

              Look at Acts 6:7.  So the word of God continued to spread, and the number of disciples in Jerusalem continued to grow rapidly. Even a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.  The priests were teachers of the Jewish faith.  Yet even they could see when they were wrong and convert to the Truth.  Why not your leader, whatever it is you call him?  Instead, Keith was told one time, “How dare you argue with a priest!” 

              Paul was a man well-educated in Judaism, a man who lived “in all good conscience,” yet even he was convinced that he needed to change.  He was also a Pharisee, one who respected the Law and knew it inside out.  Many others Pharisees were also converted to Christianity (Acts 15:5).  Despite their advanced knowledge, they discovered they were wrong about something and had the honesty to change.

              God will hold you accountable for your decisions, for your beliefs, and for your actions.  Anyone who taught you error will also pay a price, but their mistake won’t save you.  Jesus said, If the blind guide the blind, both shall fall into a pit, Matt 15:14.

              Don’t believe everything you hear.  If it looks like ping-pong balls instead of hail, check it out yourself.  Don’t fall for a lie because of who told you that lie.  Doing so means you love that person more than you love God and His Truth. 
 
With all deceit of unrighteousness for them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God sends them a working of error, that they should believe a lie: that they all might be judged who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness. 2 Thes 2:10-12.
 
Dene Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

James 4:4 “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

From the context, it is unlikely that James is accusing these people of literal adultery. Instead, the concept is that our relationship with God is similar to marriage and if we turn from Him, we are similar to adulteresses, which is the term older translations use instead of adulterous people.

There are many places we can go to show that the relationship between God and His people is closely akin to marriage. Eph. 5, for instance, discusses the marriage relationship and then says “This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church.” (vs. 32). Everything he was saying about the relationship between husbands and wives relates to Christ and the Church. The general concept of the union between God and His people is much older. E.g. Isa. 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” and Jer. 2:2 "Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem, Thus says the LORD, "I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride” and Jer. 31:32 “not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD”. So, the covenant relationship between God and His people is like a marriage, and when His people break the covenant it hurts God like a husband would be hurt if his wife was cheating. That exact comparison is used throughout the prophets to describe God’s yearning for His people and eventually His vengeful wrath. Nowhere is it brought out as vividly as in Hosea.

Hosea was told to marry a woman who would cheat on him. It became obvious that she was doing exactly that: his last son is named “not mine”. She leaves him, seems to become a practicing whore, and he has to buy her back. Hosea’s pain in dealing with this was illustrative of God’s pain in dealing with the nation of Israel and his preaching combines pathos, anger, and love in a unique way. When we think of the adultery of Israel we usually think of them going after other gods rather than Jehovah (or Yahweh if you prefer). Hosea shows us that there are a lot more ways to cheat on God than just idolatry. That list is where I want to spend some time.

Of course, Hosea starts with the idolatry. Hosea 2:13 & 4:12 “And I will punish her for the feast days of the Baals when she burned offerings to them and adorned herself with her ring and jewelry, and went after her lovers and forgot me, declares the LORD. . . My people inquire of a piece of wood, and their walking staff gives them oracles. For a spirit of whoredom has led them astray, and they have left their God to play the whore”. If instead of worshipping your God, you go after other gods, what can it be called than cheating? Is there anything I put ahead of God? Anything I worship more than I worship Him?

God was also angry that Israel did not trust Him to protect them, making alliances with foreign kingdoms. Hosea 5:13 & 7:11-13a “When Ephraim saw his sickness, and Judah his wound, then Ephraim went to Assyria, and sent to the great king. But he is not able to cure you or heal your wound. . . Ephraim is like a dove, silly and without sense, calling to Egypt, going to Assyria. As they go, I will spread over them my net; I will bring them down like birds of the heavens; I will discipline them according to the report made to their congregation. Woe to them, for they have strayed from me!” When the nation saw it was in danger of conquest, they didn’t turn to God. They asked every other powerful nation nearby for assistance. Men, just how emasculated would you feel if you found out your wife trusted your neighbor for security more than she trusted you? Isn’t that a type of betrayal? Do I rely on anything other than God’s blessings? Modern medicine is great, but is my faith in my doctor greater than my faith in God? Do I trust the weatherman more than God? Do I rely on anything more than God?

In the context of His people being adulteresses, God rebukes Israel for relying on their own strength instead of relying on Him. Hosea 8:14 “For Israel has forgotten his Maker and built palaces, and Judah has multiplied fortified cities; so I will send a fire upon his cities, and it shall devour her strongholds.” Israel was rich and Judah well fortified. They would be just fine. They didn’t need God! God promises to show them differently. This is one we can easily relate to. We are told to build up 401ks and Roth IRAs and if we do so we will be secure in our retirement years because of our wealth. Really? Do I trust in God or wealth? We should, of course, be good stewards of the blessings God gives us, but what do I rely on, wealth or God? Do I think I am smart enough, strong enough or determined enough to handle life on my own, or am I willing to humble myself before God? Self-reliance is a failure to rely on God. That lack of trust, God considers adultery.

God also reprimands Israel for associating too closely with worldly people. Hos 7:8-9a “Ephraim mixes himself with the peoples; Ephraim is a cake not turned. Strangers devour his strength”. Not only is Israel breaking the Law by this mixing with Gentiles, but doing so drains away the nation’s strength. God has never been in favor of the close association of His people with the people of the world because of that draining effect. Too much time spent with worldly people inures us to their sin. We don’t even notice anymore the things that used to make us gasp. We slowly drift away from God. A wife who slowly drifts from her husband often finds herself in adulterous situations. God is not pleased when His people do this.

At base, adultery is the breaking of a promise. In wedding ceremonies husbands and wives vow themselves to each other. Wedding vows involve more than just not sleeping with other people. We stay together, support each other, don’t let life’s bumps force us apart. There are many ways to break these wedding vows. Similarly, God’s covenant with His people involves more than just not worshipping other gods and He feels that any breaking of the covenant is adulterous. Hosea 4:1-3 “Hear the word of the LORD, O children of Israel, for the LORD has a controversy with the inhabitants of the land. There is no faithfulness or steadfast love, and no knowledge of God in the land; there is swearing, lying, murder, stealing, and committing adultery; they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed. Therefore the land mourns, and all who dwell in it languish, and also the beasts of the field and the birds of the heavens, and even the fish of the sea are taken away.” All these sins of the people constituted breaking the Law that God had given them. They had vowed to follow His Law as part of the covenant (Ex. 24) and they were breaking their vow.

God continues His lament in Hosea 6:6-10 “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. But like Adam they transgressed the covenant; there they dealt faithlessly with me. Gilead is a city of evildoers, tracked with blood. As robbers lie in wait for a man, so the priests band together; they murder on the way to Shechem; they commit villainy. In the house of Israel I have seen a horrible thing; Ephraim's whoredom is there; Israel is defiled.” Here the sins of the people are clearly called whoredom. Whenever we sin against God, we are breaking our covenant with Him and, in essence, committing adultery.

Hosea 8:1-5 “Set the trumpet to your lips! One like a vulture is over the house of the LORD, because they have transgressed my covenant and rebelled against my law. To me they cry, "My God, we—Israel—know you." Israel has spurned the good; the enemy shall pursue him. They made kings, but not through me. They set up princes, but I knew it not. With their silver and gold they made idols for their own destruction. I have spurned your calf, O Samaria. My anger burns against them. How long will they be incapable of innocence?”

Lucas Ward

We live under a couple of huge live oaks, trees so big it would take half a dozen people holding stretched out hands to reach around them.  That means when I planted a flower bed on the west side of the house under one of those trees, the lee side so to speak, I had to be careful what I put there.  Anything with a “full sun” tag wouldn’t make it.  But it also means that I can grow things outside that others might need to take inside on a frosty morning.  The tree protects them with both the extra degree or two of heat it gives off and its shelter from the settling dew that crisps into frost on a winter morning.

              Isn’t that how we raise our children, on the sheltered side of life, and even on the sheltered side of the church?  That is as it should be.  Children shouldn’t need to worry about where their next meal is coming from.  They shouldn’t be concerned with the office politics their parents must put up with.  They certainly shouldn’t hear about church squabbles.  Your job as a parent is to protect them from those things. 

              But you can’t do that forever.  Sooner or later they need to learn about people, about their imperfections, maybe even the danger they pose to others.  That’s why we teach them that no one should touch them in certain places, that they should never get in the car with a stranger, or accept candy, or look for lost puppies.  It’s unfortunate, but we do it because we love our children.

              I am afraid we are not that smart about teaching our children about problems among brethren.  It isn’t just the false teaching wolves we need to teach them about, though more of that would be helpful.  We seem to have raised a generation that thinks everyone out there is harmless and means well because they speak in syrupy tones and sentimental mush-mouth.  No, the thing we must be most careful about is how they see us handling the disappointments with our brethren.  What they see us do and say can make or break their spiritual survival.

              When Keith was preaching full time, we saw people who claimed to be Christians acting in every way but that.  We saw couples at each other’s throats.  We saw family cliques.  We received physical threats.  We were tossed out on our ears more than once for his preaching the truth.  It may be that the only thing that kept us both faithful was realizing how these things might affect our children if we didn’t handle them carefully. 

              When they were old enough to understand what was happening, we never blamed the church.  We never blamed God.  We told them that sometimes people were not perfect, even good people--sometimes they just made a mistake.  I was NOT going to let what those people had done to us cost my children their souls.  They were what mattered. 

              As they grew older, we talked often about being faithful to God, not to a place or a group.  We reminded them about Judas.  What would have happened if the other apostles had let Judas’s monumental failure run them off?  What about Peter, their erstwhile leader?  If everyone had given up because of his denial there would have been nothing for him to return to upon his repentance.  The mission of the church depended upon those men staying faithful regardless.  God was counting on them.  We told them over and over, you never let what someone else does determine your faithfulness.  God expects you to do the right thing no matter what those people do.  I had to learn to control my depression and discouragement and not give my children cause to leave the Lord. 

              We planted our children on the sheltered side of the house, but then we moved them slowly one foot at a time to a place where the sun would beat down on them and the cold would leave frost on their leaves.  Finally they were as inured as possible from the effects of other people’s failures, including our own.  If they ever fall away, they know better than to blame someone else.

              Be careful what your children hear you say about your brethren.  Be careful what they see in your actions and attitudes.  Sooner or later they will need to stand the heat of the noonday sun and the bitter cold of a spiritual winter.  Don’t give them an easy excuse not to.
 
For there must be also factions among you, that they that are approved may be made manifest among you. 1 Corinthians 11:19
 
Dene Ward