Children - Dene's Blog

Mess Makers

7/20/2015 0 Comments

            We stayed with our young grandsons a couple of months back, and one evening two year old Judah found three small bins, about the size of the largest coffee cans these days, and summarily emptied them one by one. Small figurines, farm animals, blocks and other toys covered the family room floor. He stood there looking around with obvious satisfaction, lifted his hands in the air and, with a big grin on his face, proclaimed, “I made a mess!”

            Then, surprising us both, he began to pick up each and every tiny toy and place them in the back of his dump truck, the big one he can sit on and push with his feet, until every toy was off the floor.

            “What a good boy!” I exclaimed. Naively, as it turned out because he immediately knelt before the truck and began tossing the toys over his shoulders with both hands until once again they were scattered everywhere. Again he looked on his work with satisfaction, then began picking them up and starting over.   This must have occurred five or six times before it began to bore him, but for a while there, “Making a Mess” was the game of the hour and he was quite good at it.

            Do you know any mess makers in the church? You know, the ones who ask questions in class that are deliberately designed to foil the teacher’s carefully laid out lesson and confuse the newcomers; the ones who enjoy starting a discussion they know will end in arguments; the ones who delight in pulling people aside, especially teachers and preachers, and “setting them straight” about some detail that doesn’t even matter; the ones who pride themselves on taking the opposing view, not because it is the right one, but because they enjoy a stir. They might as well stand in the middle of the room with my two year old grandson and proclaim, “I made a mess.”

            What does Paul say about them? They “quarrel about words to no profit.” They participate in “irreverent babble.” They engage in “foolish and ignorant controversies.” They have “an unhealthy craving for controversy”—indeed they can hardly control themselves when they see certain subjects coming up. That lack of self-control comes because they are “depraved in mind.” In short, these people thrive on making messes. They live to cause trouble. They even brag about their tendency to do these things.

            And why is it so bad? Their actions “subvert souls.” They “lead people to more and more ungodliness.” Their foolishness “eats like a gangrene.” It “genders strife.” It serves only to “produce envy, dissension, slander, suspicion…and constant friction.” It troubles the new Christians and “unsettles minds.”

            At least my two year old grandson’s activity did not hurt anyone. It was entirely appropriate for a child his age. What excuse does a middle-aged mess-maker have? He might as well go play with the babies.

But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. Titus 3:9-11

(Passages quoted in the body of the article: 1 Tim 6:4,5; 2 Tim 2:14,16,23; Acts 15:25.)

Dene Ward

Out of the Mouths of Babes

6/18/2015 0 Comments

Recently someone asked me how I keep from being depressed in my situation. I was so shocked I stumbled a bit in my answer, finally saying, “Well it certainly wouldn’t help things, so why would I want to do that?” I got a strange look. I suppose most people think of “depressed” as something you are, not something you do, but that never has made sense to me. All those books, TV shows, and movies revolving around people who fall apart after some sort of shocking revelation, never have made sense to me. So a bad thing has happened. You know what? The laundry still needs washing, the bills still need paying, and the dog still has an appointment at the vet for her rabies shot. I guess I am just a little too practical.

But I remember once, many years ago, when I was unable to keep a tear from leaking out in front of my little boy. We were preparing to move, and after several days of packing and cleaning, and saying good-bye to yet another good friend, it just got away from me. He asked what was wrong.

I never tried to hide things from my children. I told them what I thought they could understand at the time they asked. He would not have understood about the other problems of a move, but he had little friends himself that I knew he would miss, so I said, “It’s just sad to leave your friends.”

He put his arms around my neck and patted my back. “It’s all right, mama. You will always have Jesus.”

That nearly undid me for good, but I managed to smile and say, “You are right. And so will you.” Then we went on with the task of packing, and managed a laugh or two before long.

As I think back on that now, I believe he had the answer I should have given this friend. Somehow a four year old understood that no matter what happens, we are never alone. What he did not say, but which struck me right between the eyes when I thought about it, was that when we allow ourselves to be depressed over this life, we are being singularly ungrateful to Christ for what He did for us. If this life were all there was, then we ought to be depressed. "If we have only hoped in Christ in this life, we are of all men most pitiable" 1 Cor 15:19. But He gave up a lot so we could have hope for the next life. I will not slap Him in the face by acting like anything in this life is important enough to take away the joy I have in a relationship with Him.

That does not mean that some days are not difficult, especially when the pain is worse or the vision is obviously less. But I do not wallow like a pig in the muddy misery. I choose not to, in part because a four year old reminded me not to.

From now on, when someone asks, I think I will just use my little boy’s answer—which I hope he has not forgotten either. How can I be depressed when I have a Savior who loves me?

For it became him, for whom are all things, and through whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the author of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For both he that sanctifies and they that are sanctified are all of one: for which cause he is not ashamed to call them brethren, Heb 2:10,11.

Dene Ward

Pot-bound

5/28/2015 1 Comments

In our quest to diligently teach our children, I think we often overlook something. We care for our children, nurturing both body and soul. Our task, though, is to work our way out of the job. If my thirty year old child still cannot dress himself, or needs to be reminded to brush his teeth, I have failed miserably. In the same way, our children cannot make it to Heaven on our spiritual coattails.

            It is often difficult for a parent to realize that his child’s faith should be his own, not an exact replica of his. A child who does nothing but ape his father’s opinions has, like the Jews of Isaiah’s day, a faith which is a commandment of men learned by rote, Isa 29:13, rather than learned by personal study, meditation, and conviction.

            Both of my sons have slightly differing views from mine about some passages of scripture. I’m glad. It means they have taken root on their own and, though there is never any guarantee, I feel much more optimistic about their remaining faithful when I am gone. If you remember the story of the orange tree my mother-in-law gave us, which rooted itself while we were trying to find a place to put it, here is yet another application: children need to have a little freedom in their quest for spirituality, freedom to spread their own roots. Parents who demand exact conformity, treating any difference as a sign of disrespect, are spoon-feeding their children’s spirituality while at the same time stunting their growth. They might as well be carrying them off the ground in a black plastic nursery pot so their roots won’t branch out. Sooner or later they will become pot-bound and die.

            While you expect to shape their values and instill basic concepts of spirituality and faith, God expected that they would ask, “Why?” and that you would give them real and sensible answers. “Because I said so,” does have an appropriate time and place in teaching them authority, but not in teaching the word of God. If you cannot tell them why, then when you are gone why should they continue?

            Encourage them to study and develop on their own. Treat their discoveries as equally interesting as yours. You may think Paul wrote Hebrews and they may not. You may believe the three-person interpretation of the Song of Solomon and they may prefer the two-person. You may look at Romans 7 as any man without Christ, while they believe Paul is talking about himself before his conversion. Isn’t it great? You will most likely have an eternity to discuss these things together and with the authors themselves, while the parents who demanded absolute conformity and automaton feedback, may find themselves looking around, wondering where their children are.



And the people came up out of the Jordan on the tenth day of the first month, and encamped in Gilgal, on the east border of Jericho. And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, did Joshua set up in Gilgal. And he spoke unto the children of Israel, saying, When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean these stones? Then you shall let your children know, saying, Israel came over this Jordan on dry land. For Jehovah your God dried up the waters of the Jordan from before you, until you were passed over, as Jehovah your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up from before us, until we were passed over; that all the peoples of the earth may know the hand of Jehovah, that it is mighty; that you may fear Jehovah your God for ever. Josh 4:19-24.

Dene Ward

Putting Down Roots

5/26/2015 1 Comments

Keith’s mother once gave him a tiny orange tree, maybe six inches tall, which she had planted from seed into a coffee can. He brought it home, transplanted it into a black plastic nursery pot and set it next to the shed, continuing to water and feed it until he could find a permanent place for it.

   It had grown to a height of three feet when he finally decided where to put it. Bending down, he grabbed the pot with both hands and tugged. Nothing happened. The tree had made its own decision, its roots bursting through the bottom of the pot and digging their way firmly into the ground. It’s still there, now over twice as tall as the shed and bearing fruit nearly year round.

   Our children are like that little tree. Wherever you leave them is where they will put down roots. The atmosphere you raise them in, the people they spend the most time with, the friends they make and the activities they participate in, whether you are aware of them or not, will all have their effects on your children and will influence who they eventually become.

   Children are growing every minute of every day, not only in body, but also in mind. You cannot set them aside until you have more time, you cannot leave them on their own without guidance, you cannot give them into the charge of another whose belief system does not match yours and still expect your children to follow in your footsteps. You cannot tell them, not even with all the sincerity you can muster, “Just wait till I finish this degree; just wait till my career is more established; just wait till I can pay off all these bills I ran up, then I will be a good parent to you.” If nothing else, you are teaching them exactly what is most important to you--career, status, “things.” Meanwhile, they may put down their roots in places you wish they never knew of, with people you wish they had never met, and develop a character that may appall you.

   “Where did they learn that?” you might wonder. In the place where you left them while you were too busy to be a parent.

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate,
Psalm 127.

Dene Ward

The Age of Reason

5/18/2015 0 Comments

For various reasons I have found myself remembering my junior high years lately. That time of life can be trying. You are not an adult, but you are not a little child either. In fact, you are not sure who you are.

   Your body is behaving strangely and you have outgrown the cute stage. You are too fat or too skinny, taller than everyone else or shorter, too loud for the adults in your life, but too quiet to suit your peers. Your hair is too curly or too straight for the current style, and you never know what sort of face will greet you in the mirror each morning.

   You begin to feel a need to embrace ideals but you are not sure which ones or why. The ones your peers embrace, even as they strive to rebel from the norm, seem just a little too empty and too “popular.” Where is the individuality they say they crave? The ones many teachers press on you seem to come with agendas attached. Do they teach these because they believe them and think they will help you, or because they want disciples?

   But the thing we need to think about today is, what about us as parents? Of all people, we should be teaching ideals that will make our children’s lives better and their souls secure, but sometimes the things we do make that difficult for a child to see, especially one already confused by his mind and body, and the mixed signals he receives from everyone around him.

   Help him out. Live by the ideals you teach. We tell him nothing is more important than his soul, but does he see that in us, or does he see far more time and money given to recreation and status-building than to the Lord, to worthy causes, to needy souls and spiritual pursuits? We tell him his eternal destiny is more important than physical wealth and security, but does he see us sacrifice spiritual matters for those very things time and time again? Does he ever see us engaged in personal Bible study or is the TV on 24 hours a day? Does he hear us preach honesty then hear us brag about cheating the tax man? Does he hear us talk about setting priorities, about being at the meetinghouse every time the door is open, while remembering that you have not spent any time with him, one on one, talking about spiritual things in the past six months or even longer? As young as he is, he understands that there is more to Christianity than sitting on a pew.

   Adolescent rebellion is not unusual. It is part of discovering who you are—considering ideas, then rejecting them or accepting them. Don’t give your children an easy—and far more obvious reason than you would like to believe—to reject yours.

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have known the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 2 Tim 3:14,15.

Dene Ward

Obstacle Course

5/13/2015 1 Comments

A long time ago when I was a young mother, a wise, older woman made me stop and think with a few words that might have sounded harsh, but which she couched with an attitude of love and concern. I had not taken a meal to a sick or grieving family for a long time; I had not taught a children’s class for about a year; I had not had anyone in my home for several months; I hadn’t even sent a card or made a phone call for awhile. I was a busy young mother. I had laundry to do every day including piles of diapers that never seemed to diminish, meals to fix, a baby to nurse and tend and a toddler to care for and teach, and a home that needed putting in some sort of order if just so we could keep track of where we put things, like the bills that needed paying.

   Had this woman had the same problems years before when she was a young mother? I suppose so, but I never even thought about that—all I thought about was my own problems, all the things I needed to do, how tired I was, and how I could not possibly do any of those other things because of the demands of my family and home.

   She knew all this, but she still asked this simple question. “What if,” she quietly said, “God decided to help you out by taking away all of your excuses?”

   After a moment of shock, I suddenly saw my children and my home in another light. Here I was claiming to love them more than anything else, while telling everyone what an obstacle they were in my life, maybe not in words, but certainly in deeds—or lack of them. Yes, serving my family is also serving God, but isn’t it hypocritical to then turn around and use that service as a reason not to serve others? The last thing in the world I wanted was for God to take them away from me, and I determined that they would no longer be the excuses I offered for not doing what I could.

   No, I could not spend hours and hours away from them, nor several hours caring for others directly, but surely I could pick up the phone or write a note when the babies were napping. Surely I could fix an extra casserole when I made one for my family, and send it with someone else to a home where a mother was too sick to do it and the father was out working all day. Surely, I could find something I could do.

   I think something else happened to my attitude that day, too. I was suddenly aware of all the things that needed doing for others, and looking forward to a time when I could, instead of sitting at home, selfishly wondering when I would ever have “me time” again. My home was where I wanted to be, but I also knew that I wanted to be doing what I could for others, when I could, for as long as I could, just like that kind sister who taught me a lesson with a simple question.

   What kind of excuses have already come out of our mouths today? What if God took them away in the blink of an eye so we could do those things we claim to want to do “if only…?”

But he said unto him, A certain man made a great supper; and he bade many: and he sent forth his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for things are now ready. And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a field, and I must needs go out and see it; I pray have me excused. And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them; I pray have me excused. And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come. And the servant came, and told his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and maimed and blind and lame... For I say unto you, that none of those men that were bidden shall taste of my supper. Luke 14:16-21,24.

Dene Ward

The Best Bologna Sandwich Ever

5/1/2015 5 Comments

When I was a very young teenager, we lived next door to a family with five children under the age of ten. We were new in the area and didn’t know them very well, but we knew those basics.

One Sunday morning my mother was reading the newspaper over a last cup of coffee when I heard her gasp. The paper slipped out of her fingers into her lap and onto the floor. The father of the family next door had been killed in an automobile collision the night before.

   She immediately dressed and walked over to our neighbors’ home to see what she could do. About an hour later we left for worship services as usual. While we were there she organized a food drive, asking individuals in the church to bring whatever shelf stable items they could spare on Wednesday evening. Afterward we headed back home, but my mother wasn’t finished.

   We walked in to that wonderful Sunday aroma of pot roast. Even after all these years, I have never been able to replicate my mother’s. But instead of immediately changing clothes and starting to prepare our dinner, she grabbed an apron and started telling my sister and I what she needed us to do. She made the gravy, heated the rolls, and then proceeded to pack up the entire meal. We stowed it all in big cardboard boxes in the trunk and then drove to the home of the man’s parents, where his wife and children had gathered with the rest of the family. I remember walking up the steps to that frame house, holding that hot gravy in a Tupperware container, careful not to squeeze too tight so the steam wouldn’t cause the lid to pop right off. We handed our dinner to the stunned people inside, then offered condolences and drove back home.

   We came in, changed clothes and sat down to paper plates, bologna, and bread. There was nothing else easy to prepare on short notice. Understand this: I hated bologna. But I relished every bite of that sandwich. Nothing had ever tasted so good. That’s what giving does to you. That is precisely why Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

   I have often wondered if I have given my children enough of those kind of memories, lessons learned that you never forget, not even the smallest details. Are you doing that for your children? Do they see things that involve them and stay with them, teaching them the joy of giving to those in need, even if it costs you a little something.

   I learned it the day I ate that sandwich and loved every bite of it and I have never forgotten that lesson. And in case you wondered, our brothers and sisters in the church came through on that food drive. We went to Bible study that Wednesday night expecting at most a couple brown grocery bags full to add to the one we brought. I think we took three empties just in case to store the cans and boxes we expected to be handed. Almost every member brought their own brown paper bag and nearly every one of them was full to the top.

   We stopped next door on our way home, and carried those bags in that Wednesday night. The new young widow watched in amazement as the four of us traipsed back and forth to the car, over and over and over. We covered her table, her countertops, and half her kitchen floor with grocery bags. That’s another sight I will never forget—her grabbing my mother around the neck and squeezing tightly as she said, “Thank you, thank you, oh thank you,” again and again and again, tears running down her cheeks. It’s been over forty years, but it’s like it was yesterday as I sit here remembering.

    Learn the gift of generous giving, giving even out of want, giving when it costs you something. And above all, teach your children exactly how amazing a bologna sandwich can taste.

We want you to know, brothers, about the grace of God that has been given among the churches of Macedonia, for in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own accord, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints— and this, not as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to us. Accordingly, we urged Titus that as he had started, so he should complete among you this act of grace. But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you— see that you excel in this act of grace also. 2Cor 8:1-7.

Dene Ward

Raise Them

4/29/2015 0 Comments

Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

Our elders offer a thought and lead a prayer at the end of services. Recently, one commended one of the young men (16?) who had led a prayer at the Lord’s Table earlier. He had not mumbled or rushed it, nor did he just repeat phrases he’d heard from others.

I was not surprised at his ability. I had watched his mother with him during services from when he was a toddler. He never had cars and cartoon books that I noticed. She pulled him in her lap and ran her finger under the words of the songs from before he could read; she insisted that he treat worship as worship and not playtime and he grew up listening and singing.

Parents, fear if your child will not sing.

We had Bible story books that the boys got to look at only at services, or, they could draw, but only Bible stories and after services we would say, “Tell me about this one,” Later, they took notes. When they got to freshman Bible at Florida College, they were amazed at the things that were being taught “at college” as they’d known them for years. Maybe those students who were struggling to get “B’s” had Disney books and toys in church.

Is it a wonder that they know a lot of Bible—one is a Bible professor at FC and the other is a Bible class teacher who does not have to take a backseat in discussions with his brother.

So far as I am aware, the mother above never heard us tell how to do it. It should be obvious to anyone that God and church are special and you cannot teach that to your children with toys and comic books. I have known some children who turned out just fine, but please think about what you do and what it is teaching them. Don’t just try to keep them quiet.

Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Keith Ward

Just a Bunch of Stems

4/24/2015 0 Comments

My little boys used to bring me bouquets all the time. Sometimes it was Queen Anne’s lace. Sometimes it was a bright blue spiderwort. Sometimes it was a rain lily or a stem of pink clover. Sometimes it was just a dandelion bloom. All of these are wildflowers, what any suburban lawn grower would call “weeds.” Yet I put them all in vases of various sizes because they were all precious to me. My little fellows had no idea the difference between domesticated flowers and wildflowers. All they knew was “flowers.”

But even they would never have gathered a bunch of them, ripped off the blooms and handed me a fistful of stems. The problem with religion today, including some of my own brothers and sisters, is they value the stems and not the flowers.

    A few months ago someone told me how listening to a certain teacher had made his day so much better. I anxiously awaited the lesson he had heard, but he never once said a word about the content. All I heard was the teacher’s name, at least three times, and how that person had made his day better. What he had done was throw away the flower and put the empty stem in a vase of water to admire.

    I understand having favorite speakers and teachers. Nothing makes me happier than to hear someone compliment my husband and my sons. But none of them teach for the glory. They teach to help people. If all people remember is their names, then they haven’t been much help, have they?

    If I can’t tell you what a person taught me, did I learn anything, or was I just entertained for a few brief moments? One of my favorite teachers isn’t much of an entertainer, but I always go away with a new way of looking at things, even things I have been looking at for decades now. He makes me think, and he makes me see the possibilities. He makes me want to go look at it again myself, and I often do. He makes me examine my life in ways I never have and want to change for the better. Can your favorite speaker do those things, or does he just make you laugh and feel good?

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to someone for help with your Bible study. God did ordain the role of teachers in spiritual things (Eph 4:11). He meant for us to have brothers and sisters we could go to with questions and problems. Paul told Timothy to pass on what he knew to “faithful men.” He told the older to train the younger. But God also holds us individually accountable for what we do with what we hear. “Work out your own salvation,” Paul told the Philippians, well after Jesus had already said, “If the blind lead the blind, they shall both fall into the ditch.” It is up to each of us to be careful to whom we listen and to examine what they say against the Word (Acts 17:11).

    A good teacher doesn’t care if s/he receives praise or not—that is not his/her purpose. All s/he does is hold up the Word of God and present it to you. “What is the straw to the wheat?” God asks in Jer 23:28. That word “straw” has several meanings according to Strong’s, and one of them is the wheat stalk, or stem. Which is more important, God is saying, the stem or the wheat it holds up?

    I knew a man once who nearly tore a church up because he insisted on “his turn” to teach when not only was he a lousy teacher, he didn’t even know the Word of God accurately enough to teach it. Clearly, it was all about the glory of teaching to him, and clearly he needed the admonition in Rom 12:3: For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

    I know the temptation. So did Paul. I refrain from [boasting], so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited, 2 Cor 12:6,7. It shouldn’t matter to me what people say about my speaking or writing. What should matter is how many I reach, how many are helped and encouraged and how many souls are saved. And that is what should matter to those who listen and read too.

    And do you know why this is so important? If you value the who above the what, the straw above the wheat, the stem above the flowers, someday sooner or later you will be deceived into believing a lie. Even good teachers make mistakes, and you might be deceived by an honest error too. That is why James tells us in 3:1 that teachers will receive the “greater condemnation.” Teaching is a responsibility, and anyone who craves the glory is manifestly unable to handle that burden.

    Most of the preachers and teachers I know will tell you the same things I am now. If you want to make me happy, then use what I give you, remember it and grow. Share it with others who might need it. Even if you forget where you got it, just pass the good news along. That is what really matters. Give them a bouquet of flowers, not a handful of stems.

For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself, Gal 6:3.

Dene Ward

Making Choices

4/2/2015 3 Comments

We live in Florida. So does Mickey Mouse. When my boys were in school, it seemed like every other year the school decided a “field trip” to that Orlando park was in order. (Whatever happened to “field trips” to the firehouse or the water plant or the art museum?) You sent $40 to the school--this was 25 years ago, remember--and your children got on a bus at 6 am, which drove up to the park and unloaded about 9 am. At 3 pm, the kids climbed back aboard and came home. Meanwhile, you had also sent at least $15 more so they would not go hungry.
    We were on a tight budget and, as adults, we could easily see that the scant amount of time there was not worth the money. So we spelled it out carefully and gave them the choice—no more of these so-called field trips. Instead, if they wanted to, we would save money for a year and “do it right.” Four nights in the Disney campground (the hotels were out of the question), complete with all the transportation around the park and free Disney movies every night at an outdoor theater with park benches to sit on. Four 4-day park passes and supper one night in the castle, plus all the special shows they never had time to see before, like the Main Street electrical parade and the laser show at Epcot, and a souvenir of their choice at any park shop.
    What made the choice difficult? For the next three years, when their classmates piled into the buses, they stayed behind. Usually I showed up at the school to take them out for “early dismissal,” but the next day they endured questioning about why they did not go to Disney with the rest of the group, and listened to the stories about all the fun they had. None of their classmates ever did understand, even when the boys told them the whole story. Why not do both? they wanted to know. It is always hard to tell your friends that you are not as well off as they are, especially when you are young and don’t really understand it yourself. Yet the boys thought about it, and made the choice. “Doing it right” was by far better, they decided.
    So we saved for a year, all of us. The boys picked up aluminum cans and coke bottles, and even set aside birthday money, which we had encouraged grandparents to send instead of gifts—they knew the plan. $700 later, we had the vacation of a lifetime, and the boys felt even better because they had helped pay for it. Don’t tell me that having Cinderella lean over you during dinner is unimportant to a twelve-year-old boy. You have never seen such bashful blushing in your life.
    Growing up is all about learning to make choices. If you miss that valuable lesson, you may face a life of misery that could have been avoided. Learning to weigh options, both their pros and cons, is the key.
    Just think about sin for a moment. Sin is pleasurable or it would not be a temptation. But weigh the choices.
    A life of purity will give you a renewed mind, Eph 4:22-24. A fresh, optimistic outlook on life can get you through a world of trouble.
    The decision to remain pure will lead to better relationships with those you deal with and the self-respect that comes with self-control, 1 Thes 4:1-8. Self-control is not a prison—it is freedom from things that rule your life; it is you making the choices not your appetites. That is empowering.
    Pure living will give you not only the hope of a life to come, but hope for the life now too, 1 Tim 4:7,8. It promises you that God will never forsake you, Heb 13:4-6, and will cause others to glorify God, 1 Pet 2:11,12. And talk about comforting—living a pure life leaves you unafraid to stand before God and give an account of it, 1 Pet 4:1-5.
    And the other option? Let’s see, a life of impurity could give you STDs along with ensuing pain and infertility and possible death, cirrhosis of the liver, ulcers and other stress-induced conditions, a suspended driver’s license, a criminal record, a broken home and family who won’t talk to you any longer, fair-weather friends who leave when you need them the most, a ruined reputation, financial ruin caused by alimony and child support payments, and gambling debts you can never repay, not to mention those eternal consequences which include facing the wrath of God, Col 3:5-11, and the second death, Rev 21:8.
    Hmm. Doesn’t really sound like such a difficult choice to me.

By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter; choosing rather to share ill treatment with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; accounting the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt: for he looked unto the recompense of reward, Heb 11:24-26.

Dene Ward