I just took my 88 year old mother grocery shopping.  In the past two or three years, her eyesight has gone downhill considerably.  She has to be careful when she picks up an item to make sure it is the right variety, especially as a type 2 diabetic.  “No sugar added” or “sugar free” are important to her. 

My eyes aren’t much, if any better, than hers.  But having shopped for her several times recently when she was ill, I had a much easier time of it.  I have been dealing with bad eyesight since I was born.  When you cannot see well, you adapt.  I learned a lot of tricks a long time ago.  I cannot see faces across a room, but I recognize walks; I memorize clothing colors; I know voices and laughs.  So after the first time I shopped for my mother I knew that her variety of yogurt had a little blue circle on it.  I didn’t need to turn the box upside down looking for the necessary phrase, nor try to read the fine print.  I didn’t even need to know that the little blue circle said “60 calories.”  The reason the calorie count is so low is that there is “no sugar added.”  I learned that the first time, when I did have to pick up the box, hold it close to my nose and scour the surface.  I learned that her favored fruit cups have a blue banner on them.  No blue banner and it’s the wrong fruit cup.  I do a lot of things like that.
 
A long time ago we did not have color coded road signs.  But once they came out, I was home free.  I picked up on the colors immediately.  Forty years ago we were in a strange town visiting a friend at a hospital.  We did not know exactly where the hospital was, but it was a small town so we figured we could find it.  As we crossed every intersection I looked one way down the cross street and Keith looked the other.  “There!” I said.  “Turn here.”
            Keith turned and seeing no hospital said, “How do you know?”
            “Because there’s a square blue sign down there.”
            “So?” he said.
            “Hospital signs are blue squares with a big H on them.” 
And sure enough, as we got closer, there was an H on that sign and two blocks later the hospital appeared on our right.  I could not read the sign, but I could see a blue square. 

Before long Keith picked up on the color coding too.  When we camp, we always look for brown, the telltale color of a state park sign.

Do you know why I can do those things?  Because it’s necessary to my functioning independently.  As long as I want to do for myself, regardless my decreasing vision, I pick up on these things and use them.  My various eye drops have different colored tops.  The individual vials that look almost the same, feel different in my hands.  That is very important because each eye requires different medications.  I could cause a lot of damage if I mixed things up. 

I started teaching myself these things before I could even read.  When I was 4 and there were a lot fewer car models, I recognized them by their taillights.  It used to tickle my Daddy to death when four-year-old me identified cars to startled friends and neighbors.  I learned those tricks and devices then and I just keep on doing it.  It’s habit, and it’s habit because it’s important.

Now don’t tell me you can’t learn Bible facts because you are “too old” or you’re “not smart enough.”  That is not the problem.  The problem is that it’s not important enough to you.  Didn’t you have to take a driving test?  How about tests at work to earn promotions?  When it becomes a necessity in your mind, you can do just fine.  You may have to learn a few mnemonic devices, but you can do it.  I am not good with numbers any longer, but I always remember what side of the page a verse is on, and once I remember the book I can browse through and find it.  I make up silly songs and sing them (silently) in my head.  I remember alphabetic tricks. 

And finally there is this:  if you read something enough times and study it deeply enough, not just once but again and again and again, you will eventually know it just like you know your own name, address, phone number, cell number, social security number, PIN number, and the dozen passwords you have to know to function in this technological world.  And I bet you know the addresses and most of the phone numbers you had before the ones you have now.  Why?  Because you had to know them all at one point in your life.  4916 Bristol Court, 8011 Pine Hill Drive, 125 W Walnut Street, Route 4 Oak Drive, Route 2 Box 790-B, Route 3 Box 1559—all of those used to be my addresses, the first one before I even started elementary school.

Don’t tell me you can’t learn the Bible.  Don’t tell me that so-and-so’s Bible class is too deep.  Don’t tell me you can’t remember the 12 sons of Jacob, the judges, the kings, the apostles, and all the books of the Bible.  If you can’t, it’s because you don’t want to badly enough.  It isn’t necessary for you to function in this life.  And that’s where the problem lies.  God and His Word do not constitute your life and your reason for being.  If they did, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
​
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you…In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word. Ps 119:10-11,14-16
 
Dene Ward

"That's too much work!"  "That's too hard!"
            I have heard both of those half a dozen times in nearly fifty years, and always in connection with either my or Keith's Bible classes.  Other teachers have told me that they have heard it, too.  It always refers to any Bible class that asks for a couple hours prep time with several chapters of reading and answering questions that are not easy multiple choice or true/false or simple one word answers.
            I understand that many of us are busy.  But I also understand that a Christian ought to be spending some time every day in study and prayer.  That should go without saying.  Maybe that's the first problem—it can't go without saying.
            If you read your Bible every day, which I hope you do, try letting that time be your prep time for class.  If nothing else, you can attend a class having read the scriptures that were assigned.  Then be prepared to take copious notes when you get there, rather than just sitting there while the information floats in one ear and out the other.  Go home and spend the next day's Bible reading time going over your notes and rereading the scriptures to see if they make more sense now.  That will also help cement them into your mind. 
            But if you can't do that because you aren't spending time in prayers and study every day, you have some serious thinking to do about where you stand with God.  Some priorities need rearranging because when you call Jesus "Lord," you are telling him that you will dedicate your whole life to him, not just Sunday mornings.  When you claim to be a child of God, you are telling Him that you love Him as much as any child would love a Father.  How does refusing to attend or study for a Bible class in order to receive His communication with us fit with that?  How much trouble was it for God to put on mortality and experience, for the first time in Eternity, discomfort, pain, hunger, exhaustion, and even such minor indignities as heartburn and indigestion?  How hard was it for him to bear being mocked, ridiculed, spat on, and flogged to within an inch of his life?  And how difficult was it for him to suffocate over several hours' time on a cross with what amounted to railroad spikes pounded into his ankles and wrists?    Nothing should be too hard or too much trouble for us in our service to God and Christ. 
            I would hope that I will never hear that statement again.  Unfortunately, since I wrote this a few weeks ago, I already have.
 
…Who has given {God} so much that He needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! (Rom 11:35-36).
 
Dene Ward

A long, long time ago Keith and I traveled with another couple to visit a gospel meeting in a town thirty miles away, about a forty-five minute trip.  The men sat in the front seat and we women in the rear.  I am notoriously bad about motion sickness.  I hadn't yet learned that sitting in the backseat was far worse than sitting in the front for that particular problem, so I hopped right in, hoping to have a good conversation with and get to know better this sister whom we had just met a few weeks before.
            We talked easily at first, but my Mama had taught me to look at the person I am speaking to.  Anything else was rude.  So I kept swinging my head over to look this lady in the eyes as we spoke.  Meanwhile, behind her the scenery was whizzing by.  We were in hilly country as well.  Between the up and down, the extra swing of the backseat on the curves, and looking over to the side to engage my fellow passenger while the trees and buildings and flashing neon signs sailed past behind her head, I was coming close to a crisis that no one in the car would have wanted.  Finally I leaned back and looked forward, concentrating on keeping my head perfectly still while attempting to control my ready-to-heave stomach.  And said, "I'm sorry, Barbara.  I can't look at you any more—it's making me sick."
            I was so lost in my misery that I had no idea how that had come out until I heard a gasp and a low, "Well!"  Of course I was mortified.  I explained and she understood and all was okay—I think.  We all understand when things like that happen with no ill-intent and no malice in the words uttered.  We also make allowances for people who are in various states of discomfort, either physically or emotionally.  As the piano player for scores of weddings, I have had my head bitten off more often than I can count.  The mother-of-the-bride is usually stressed out and walking an emotional tightrope.  It's part of the job for me to put up with things like that in a kind and equitable manner.  On the other hand…
            As a preacher's wife and a Bible class teacher I have had many occasions to hear things that, to put it bluntly, should never have been said.  Not to me necessarily, although sometimes they were.  They simply should never have come out of the mouth of someone claiming to be a disciple of Christ, a servant of the Master, a child of God.  Period.  This is what God's Word has to say about the matter:

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person (Matt 15:18).
​The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).
The words of a wise man's mouth win him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him (Eccl 10:12). 
You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. ​The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned (Matt 12:34-37).

            I think that's enough to get the point.  No matter how we protest, our words show what it is in our hearts.  God said it.  The Lord Himself said it.  The Holy Spirit had it penned far more than just once.  "I didn't mean that!" is usually a false claim, no matter what we think because the words we spoke could never have been spoken if they had not first lived in the heart.
            I have a list of things I have heard said by Christians over the years that literally stopped me in my tracks.  I didn't really start "collecting" them until I had heard a dozen or so and it suddenly made sense to try to do some teaching with them.  Surely people will become more careful in what they say if these things are pointed out, right?  And more important, repentance will result in changed hearts, which will fix the problem almost immediately for that is the source of these words, as we have seen.  At least that is my aim here.  I heard some of these nearly fifty years ago, so please don't immediately think I am talking about you.  I am talking to all of us, including myself.  Our words give us away oh, so many times!  (So do our children!)  And really, many of these have been said by more than one person in more than one place, so it's a larger problem than we might think.
            I will be starting this series with the above title in the near future.  They will not be appearing on a regular schedule, just when I have an opening for them.  Meanwhile, join with me in praying the following prayer today:
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer (Ps 19:14).
 
Dene Ward
 

I started jogging in 1983.  Keith had been doing it since he was in the Marine Corps.  A couple of neighbors did it, and every time I went into town I saw people all over the sidewalks doing it.  I was in dreadful shape and 30 pounds overweight.  I decided that if everyone else could, so could I.  And I did.  For a while there, I was jogging 30 miles a week, and those thirty pounds melted off, especially over the long, hot Florida summer.
            But jogging was not always "what everyone did."  The whole idea of jogging for your health's sake began in the 1960s and back then anyone who did it was considered a "weirdo" or "an exercise freak."  In fact, in 1968, a man named Dick Cordier from Hartford, Connecticut, was out jogging one day and was stopped by the police for "illegal use of the highway."
            It seems that this new fitness routine, jogging, began in New Zealand.  William Bowerman, an American track and field coach and co-founder of Nike, visited a friend there in 1962 and saw people of all ages participating in this new hobby.  He published a four page pamphlet co-sponsored by the Oregon Heart Association and suddenly people started listening.  Still, it took time for the word to spread, as evidenced by poor Mr. Cordier's citation.  But later that year, on October 15, 1968, The Chicago Tribune published an entire page on jogging and people began to look at the weirdos a different way.  By the time 1983 came along, I was perfectly happy to jog down the highway and unworried about what people might think.  But I wonder how well I might have done back in 1968?
            It's hard to be different.  Usually we save these lessons for our teenagers, but folks, we need the lesson, too.  How many times have we thought we needed something because everyone else had it, or thought we should wear something because it was the latest style, or avoided stating an opinion we knew might make others dislike us?  They had that problem in the first century, too.
            For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you (1Pet 4:3-4).  Don't think you would never fall for "those kinds" of sins.  When everyone else is doing it, it suddenly seems less wrong.  That is exactly why our culture has fallen to a new low in morality.
            It would be good to remind ourselves of four teenage boys who not only managed to be different, but seemed to revel in it.  Among these were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah of the tribe of Judah. And the chief of the eunuchs gave them names: Daniel he called Belteshazzar, Hananiah he called Shadrach, Mishael he called Meshach, and Azariah he called Abednego. But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself… (Dan 1:6-8).  The rest of the story makes the point.  Daniel and his friends did not try to hide their difference.  They pointed it out in a hostile environment and allowed their faith to be tested, and it wasn't just a popularity contest.  If they had failed to please the Babylonian king, someone might well have died.  The steward himself said, "You will endanger my head" (1:10), and should their refusal to eat the king's food be known to the king, that king, especially, might have taken it badly.  God rewarded their faith, as he did continually in their stay in Babylon, even rescuing them from the fiery furnace and the lion's den.
            But God does not always save us from the consequences of being different.  What are we failing to do because it is not popular, or because "times have changed?"  And what are we doing because "everyone else is?"  Have we ever dared to do or say something that was unpopular on purpose?  Forget talking to the young people until we can answer those questions ourselves.  Peer pressure works on us all!
            God has plenty to say about his desire that His children be different:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Rom 12:2).

My son, do not walk in the way with [sinners]; hold back your foot from their paths (Prov 1:15).
​
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night (Ps 1:1-2).

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few (Matt 7:13-14).
​I
f you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you (John 15:19).
           
           Maybe we neglect teaching our children to revel in their difference because we have not learned to ourselves.  We need to be out there showing them the way, making "illegal use of the highway" in a time where no one except weirdos jogs.  Make no mistake:  whoever we want to be most like, whoever we act, dress, and speak like, that is our god.  Do we want to be like the rest of the world, or like Jesus?
 
That you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world (Phil 2:15).
 
Dene Ward

Why do we follow the pattern?  The way God set up the church as a spiritual rendition of the Old Temple should make it obvious.  If you change any one of those things, it loses its significance.  We would no longer fulfill the real meaning behind each carefully planned (from before the beginning) detail.  Is that really important?  God thought so.
            And see that you make them after their pattern, which has been shown you in the mount. Exod 25:40.  God made that statement to Moses immediately after giving him the detailed instructions for building the tabernacle and its furnishings.  The Hebrew writer sees its importance and repeats it in Heb 8:5:  They serve a copy and shadow of the heavenly things. For when Moses was about to erect the tent, he was instructed by God, saying, “See that you make everything according to the pattern that was shown you on the mountain.”  In fact, this is so important that Stephen even included the reference in his sermon, the one that got him killed (Acts 7:44)!
            If it was important then, and every part of it has a parallel in the church today, why wouldn’t it still be important?  In fact, you find Paul saying several different times something akin to this:  That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church. 1Cor 4:17.  We are supposed to be doing the same things in every congregation of God’s people all over the globe.  Am I really going to tell God I don’t see the importance of following things He designed so carefully in such intricate detail?  The only reason I even have the opportunity to complain is because God was gracious enough to let me in here to start with.
            The Greek word for “pattern” is used 15 times in the New Testament.  Two of the words it is sometimes translated by are “example” and “ensample,” defined as “a model for imitation.”  Everything from “You have us as an example” to “Your baptism is a form (pattern) of Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection” (Phil 3:17; 2 Thes 3:9; Rom 6:17).  The Bible is full of patterns!  To deny their importance is ignorance or obstinacy.  And if you have followed this all the way through, ignorance is now no excuse.
 
Show yourself in all respects to be a model (pattern) of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, Titus 2:7.
 
Dene Ward
 

These make more sense when you read them in order.  Scroll down for parts 1 and 2.
            So let’s take a closer look at the old Temple itself.  We have already seen the altar and the laver, both outside the Temple proper.  Now we move into the first room, the Holy Place.
            On one side wall stood the table of shewbread, one loaf for each tribe, Ex 25:23, 30.  Do we have anything to do with “bread” in the church?  That one is easy—the Lord’s Supper.  1 Cor 10: 16,17 tells us that because we are all members of the one body, we partake of the one bread.
            Across from the shewbread stood the lampstands.  Pay close attention to these verses:
            Now the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to Aaron and say to him, When you set up the lamps, the seven lamps shall give light in front of the lampstand.” And Aaron did so: he set up its lamps in front of the lampstand, as the LORD commanded Moses. Num 8:1-3
            What could lampstands have to do with the church?  Do you see anything in the church that matches it?  Yes, you do.
            Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man, clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest. As for the mystery of the seven stars that you saw in my right hand, and the seven golden lampstands, the seven stars are the angels of the seven churches, and the seven lampstands are the seven churches. Rev 1:12-13,20.
            The lampstands are the churches.  Do you realize what that means when Jesus threatens to take them away?  He is saying that if they do not repent they are no longer worthy to be called his churches.  Paul tells us that we are supposed to be shining “in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation” as “lights in the world.”  Our actions can glorify His name or debase it.  We won’t get to keep that “lampstand”—our identity as a church—if we are not careful how we behave. 
            At the back of the Holy Place stood another altar, the altar of incense.  Ex 30:1.  Where is the incense today?  And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. Rev 5:8
            How about music in the Temple worship?  Look through 2 Chronicles 29 and you will see that God authorized through Gad the Seer, not just singing, but also many kinds of specific instruments in the Temple.  When God wanted instrumental music He knew exactly how to command it.  Now look at all the other parallels we have seen.  Everything literal becomes spiritual:  bloody sacrifices become living sacrifices, incense becomes prayers.  What do all these musical instruments become in the first century church?  The ultimate spiritual instrument:  addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, Eph 5:19.  A capella singing now makes the greatest sense.
            Then we come to the veil, the curtain that separates the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place.  “And you shall make a veil of blue and purple and scarlet yarns and fine twined linen. It shall be made with cherubim skillfully worked into it…And the veil shall separate for you the Holy Place from the Most Holy.  Exod 26:31, 33.
            Here is one place where the pattern does not hold.  That veil no longer exists either literally or figuratively.  And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit. And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. Matt 27:50-51. 
           But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things that have come, then through the greater and more perfect tent  not made with hands, that is, not of this creation) he entered once for all into the holy places, Heb 9:11-12.  When the veil tore, Jesus went through it giving us access to God that those Old Testament people did not have.    Notice:  the pattern does not hold here because GOD changed it, not man.  The veil was torn “from top to bottom.”  That veil is no longer needed.
          And there is yet another parallel with a difference.  The high priest went into the Most Holy Place once a year “with blood not his own,” Heb 9:25.  Instead he carried animal blood, blood which was insufficient for lasting forgiveness.  Jesus entered that Holy Place—Heaven itself—“once for all” with “his own blood,” Heb 9:12.
          Every aspect of the old temple, every piece of furniture and every action that took place in it, has a parallel in the church.  Do you still think God doesn’t think patterns matter?  If you are still not convinced, meet with me one more time, tomorrow.
 
To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him. Eph 3:8-12
 
Dene Ward
 

Please read these articles in order.  If you missed part 1, scroll down and begin there.
         Aside from patterns, people have a lot of trouble with prophetic language.  That’s why you hear about the thousand year kingdom.  They simply don’t do the work, looking through the scriptures for the obvious fulfillments—the patterns! 
            But you have come unto mount Zion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable hosts of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, and to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better than that of Abel. Heb 12:22-24.
            Could there be any plainer passage to prove that Mount Zion equals the heavenly Jerusalem equals the church?  “Zion” and “Mt Zion” is used over and over in the prophets, speaking of the restored kingdom, and in almost every instance includes an obvious reference to the Messiah in the context.
            So what was literal Mt Zion?  It was the Temple Mount, the place where Abraham offered Isaac, and later the same range on which God offered His Son as the lamb promised to Abraham on that dreadful day so long ago.  So now you have another equal sign:  Hebrews says Zion in the prophets equals the church, not a literal mountain, but a spiritual kingdom and spiritual Temple.
            Now start considering everything you know about the literal Temple in the Old Testament.  It was the place where God dwelt.  He had promised in the Law (e.g. Deut 12:5) that He would choose a place for His name to dwell.  When Solomon built the Temple, he offered a prayer asking God to dwell in that Temple.  God sent his presence in answer to that prayer, 1 Kings 9:3.  What about the church?
            So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit. Eph 2:19-22.  The church is now the Temple, the dwelling place of God.
            Who served in the literal Temple?  Priests offered sacrifices there, Ex 29:44,45.  Who serves in the figurative Temple, the church?  No, we don’t have a clergy of backwards collars.  But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1Pet 2:9.  We are all priests in this Temple, and we offer sacrifices too.  I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Rom 12:1.
            The priests in the Old Testament Temple had to wash themselves in the laver before serving, Ex 30:18-20.  We, too, must be washed before we can serve in God’s new Temple, Mt Zion.  Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Heb 10:22.  Isn’t baptism the obvious reference?
            We have already answered a few questions, haven’t we?  Now we understand why we must keep the church pure, why we cannot tolerate sin among us.  We are the place where God dwells, and He will leave this place as surely as He left that literal Temple when His people no longer obeyed His instructions.  And we also know one reason for baptism—to cleanse us for service in His temple as priests.  We also know that we offer ourselves as sacrifices, not just on Sunday, but every day of our lives.  Just as those priests gave their lives to serving God, we give ours.  It is our vocation, not our hobby, not our own little social club, but a holy calling.
            And this is only the beginning.
 
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Eph 4:1-3
 
Dene Ward

My mother made most of my clothes growing up, and also made things as difficult as sport coats and dress slacks for Daddy.  I did my best to follow in her footsteps, but am not nearly the seamstress she is.  I do, however, remember buying patterns and making maternity clothes for myself and baby clothes for the boys.  Lucky for them, they received a lot of gifts so I didn’t have to do that very long!  Then my sewing machine died and everyone got off easy instead of having to wear my crooked seams and gathered sleeves—which weren’t supposed to be gathered.  I guess I could blame it on my vision, but really, even if I could see better, I would still have crooked seams and gathered sleeves.
            However, one thing I remember well was that if I didn’t follow the pattern, nothing turned out right.  The seams didn’t match, the zippers didn’t fit in where they were supposed to, and forget about making the stripes and plaids meet—it was simply impossible. 
          A lot of people follow patterns—architects, electricians, plumbers, masons.  If they don’t follow the blueprints (patterns) their customers are very unhappy.  So what is the big deal about needing to follow a pattern in the church?  Why does every generation think it’s not only impossible but unnecessary?  Maybe because we haven’t told them why we follow the pattern, maybe because we don’t know why either.
            So we get questions like these:  Is it really necessary to follow the examples set in the New Testament?  How do we know which examples to follow?  A lot of people go haywire and forget common sense, throwing out ridiculous scenarios to try to circumvent the need to do what God has plainly shown us He wants to be done.
            So for the next few days we will examine a few things about patterns in the church, things I bet you never knew were there.  But they aren’t really that difficult to see if you have the mind to see them instead of one that wants to see what it wants instead.  Set aside your preconceived notions, and your ill-conceived ones too, and join me for the next three days.
 
Hold the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. 2Tim 1:13
 
Dene Ward

I thought we had gotten past this.  A few years ago I even saw an article or two on the subject, but I guess not everyone read them.  So just the other day I saw someone make a comment to a godly, single woman in her late 20s that it was up to her to change her marital status and it was the only way for her to actually reach full maturity and understand responsibility in her life.  I know that young woman fairly well and I know she is probably more mature than the person who made that unwise and considerably unhelpful comment, no matter how long she has been married nor how many children she has.   

In the first place, how is it “up to her” to get married?  That kind of thinking is the reason so many young Christian women “settle,” winding up in inappropriate marriages to ungodly men, sometimes even abusive men.  Young ladies—it is far more dangerous to your soul to marry the wrong man than it is to stay unmarried.  Period.

And as for maturity?  I have seen so much whining on Facebook from young mothers who suddenly find they have to sacrifice for their children—give up some sleep, give up some “me time,” even give up their daily Starbucks--that I would be careful about tossing that accusation around lest it be thrown back in my face with evidence that would shame me.

The only thing the scriptures require of you is to be an obedient and faithful servant of God and you can do that regardless of your marital status.  Paul, in fact, seemed to believe you might even be a better servant if you stayed unmarried.  1 Corinthians 7 gets skimmed over to the point that all anyone sees is his admonition to stay single “for this present distress.”  That is not all he says about staying single.  “To the unmarried and widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am,” (v8) comes several paragraphs before “the present distress” even enters the discussion.

Jesus also said that marriage was not a requirement to be his disciple.  For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.  Matt 19:12.  No, women are not “eunuchs,” but then Jesus is speaking figuratively in that last clause—some people choose not to marry for the kingdom’s sake, including women.

The scriptures show us several women who made that decision.  Anna did get married as a young woman—but she became a widow after only 7 years, which means she might have been as young as 21, according to the marriage customs of the day, and then she chose to remain single for the rest of her long life.  She used that time to serve at the Temple.

You need to understand one thing before we look at these other women.  Women in the Bible are often identified as “the wife of” someone, not because a woman has no identity without a husband, but for the sake of identification.  There were at least 7 Marys in the New Testament.  How are you going to tell them apart without last names?  So we have Mary the wife of Cleophas.  We have Mary the mother of Mark.  We have Mary Magdalene, meaning she was from the village of Magdala. 

And we have Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus.  Never is a husband mentioned.  In fact, Luke tells us that the house where they lived was “Martha’s house” (10:38).  Understand this:  Jewish women did not inherit their husbands’ estate—the sons did.  That means Martha was wealthy enough on her own to have her own home.  And she used her home to house her family and open it to the Lord and his disciples.  It must have been a large, well-appointed house.
And that brings me to the Mary who allowed the church to meet in her home when Peter and James were thrown into prison (Acts 12:12), probably another widow who chose not to remarry.  Then there is Nympha who allowed the church in Laodicea to meet in her home (Col 3:15).  And let’s not forget the obvious—Lydia, who immediately upon her conversion insisted that Paul and Silas stay in her home, another case where no husband is in the picture.  Understand this—all three of these women put themselves in danger of persecution when they did this, but their conviction and commitment to the Lord went all the way.  Where is the “immaturity and lack of responsibility” in that?

We tell church members that they are responsible for what they do, that they cannot blame it on “the decision of the elders.”  It is up to me to know what they are doing and speak up if I think they are doing something sinful.  We tell our young people that they must develop their own faith, that they cannot get into Heaven on their parents’ coattails.  Guess what?  Wives must have their own faith too.  So why would anyone think that a single woman, or man for that matter, cannot have his or her own faith?  Why would we think that having a spouse is necessary to please God?

I know plenty of young single people—and some not so young any more—who are living full and godly lives, spending time in the Word, serving the church and their community.  That is what God will judge them on. 

…Each shall receive his own reward according to his own labor, 1 Cor 3:8.
[God} who will render to every man according to his works, Rom 2:6.

…And the dead were judged…according to their works, Rev 20:12.

Did you see a spouse in there anywhere?  Neither did I.  It is up to you what you do with your life.  Not being married does not make you a second class citizen of the kingdom.

I have nothing against marriage.  I have been married for 47 years.  My husband has helped me become a better Christian.  But don’t let anyone push you into marriage.  Don’t “settle” for someone who won’t make you a better servant of the Lord.
 
But I would have you to be free from cares. He that is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married is careful for the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and is divided. So also the woman that is unmarried and the virgin is careful for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married is careful for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1Cor 7:32-34
 
Dene Ward