It’s been over three decades now.  Things have always been tight for us, but that particular time was the worst.  Through no fault of his own, Keith was in between preaching jobs, making ends meet with a couple of part time jobs and two or three preaching appointments a month, while finishing up his degree on the GI Bill.  I had a twenty-month old, was five months pregnant, and battling both an ulcer and gall stones.  Every month we pulled the belt a little bit tighter.

I had $20 a week to spend on groceries—period.  Even in that day it was only about half what others spent, even those who thought they were living closely.  I bought one piece of meat or poultry a week and made it last four or five days.  A whole chicken (19 cents a pound) provided the breasts for our one splurge meal that week—we actually had a whole chunk of meat on our plates.  The next day I used the thighs for a casserole of some sort, and with enough filler like rice or noodles it lasted two nights.  Then I boiled the backs, wings, and neck in a huge pot of water as a base for chicken and dumplings, a copious amount of dumplings, for another two night meal.  The other two nights that week we filled up on meatless meals—cheese omelets, pancakes or waffles, black beans and rice, pinto beans and cornbread, lentil soup, or on really tight days—biscuits and gravy, the gravy using only bacon drippings, flour, and milk.  Don’t ever judge a person’s wealth, or even their self-control, by their girth.  Poor people food is fattening food.  Only the economically comfortable can afford fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean meat, and fish.

Besides learning to stretch a dollar, I also learned to eat more slowly.  My little boy may have been a toddler, but he still needed to eat to grow.  I gave him the small plateful I thought he could eat, but often, when he asked for “more,” the only “more” was on my plate.  I had already rationed Keith to the point that I worried that a grown man working that many hours a day had enough to survive.  So I willingly scraped off what was left on my plate onto my child’s.  I was more than happy to do that for him.  When we chose to have these children, we automatically took on the responsibility to feed them and care for them, even if it meant we didn’t eat.

I am afraid I am seeing parents who don’t believe that any more.  I know many fine young Christians who automatically sacrifice for their children, but the world doesn’t seem to think that’s normal.  Have you looked at the magazine rack in the grocery store?  Have you heard the discussions with people who think that everyone but they themselves should pay for their child’s basic necessities?  But let’s keep this personal instead of political.

“I’m so tired.”  “I’m so stressed.”  “I don’t have time for me any more.”

No, you don’t.  Yes, it’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, it’s completely overwhelming.  That’s what happens when you take on the care of a completely helpless human being.  That’s what you signed on for when you decided to have a child.  That’s the commitment you made when you decided to enjoy the act that might produce that child.

You may not have as much time to primp and preen as you’re used to.  You may go weeks or months without being able to enjoy your favorite pastime or hobby.  You may go seven years without a single new article of clothing because any pennies you can squeeze out of the paycheck go to the three shirts, three pairs of pants, six pairs of underwear, four pairs of socks, and one pair of shoes you must buy for a growing child every six months at yard sales, outlets, and consignment shops.  You may even scrape the food off your plate. 

That’s what loving, responsible parents do, and they never begrudge the sacrifice, especially not the time, because one day, far too soon, you wake up and it’s over.  No more babies to rock, no more stickers to put on the potty training chart, no more little fingers in the cookie dough.  You’ll have all the time in the world for yourself—your career, your hobbies, your hair appointments and shopping sprees—but no amount of wishing will give you back the time you could have spent teaching, training, nurturing and loving your children into a happy, productive adulthood, and they will probably pay for that neglect in one way or another.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalms 127:3-5

Dene Ward

Today is a day for lovers, or so the merchandisers of the world say.  Do Keith and I do anything special?  You better believe it.  It’s usually nothing huge—a card, a homemade gift, a bouquet of handpicked wildflowers, a special dessert.  We don’t try to single-handedly support Madison Avenue.  Sometimes Keith simply takes the day off and we spend time together talking—what a novel idea, especially for some married folks!  Not because we celebrate some Catholic “saint” or because we feel pressured by society, but because we take every opportunity to revel in our love.  How do you think we have managed to put up with each other for all these years?
Romance is not an un-Biblical concept.  While the description of the body in several passages in the Song of Solomon may not appeal to our Western ears, it is still used in the courtship rituals of some Eastern countries today.  The Proverb writer speaks of romance like this: There are three things which are too wonderful for me, yes, four which I do not understand:  the way of an eagle in the air, the way of a serpent upon a rock, the way of a ship in the middle of the sea, and the way of a man with a maid, 30:18-20. 

The writer of Ecclesiastes tells us to live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your life of vanity, which he has given you under the sun…for that is your portion in life, 9:9.  “Live joyfully” is an injunction; it is not passive.  Do not wait for it; initiate it yourself.  These passages were originally spoken to couples whose marriages were arranged.  Imagine what God expects of those of us who chose our own spouses after “falling in love.” 

Two or three times a week as I clean out Keith’s lunchbox in the evening, I find red, heart-shaped love notes he has cut out of some office scrap paper and written—I know he has taken time out of a busy day to think of me.  And he usually calls during his lunch hour.

Eating a nice dinner out is in our budget only a couple of times a year—and that is up from the early days of our marriage--but I can make a four course meal for two for the price of one entrée in an upscale restaurant, and enjoy doing it. Several times a year, we dress up, get out the china, light the candles, and have a meal I have worked on all day.  When the boys were little, I fixed them their own special meal—more along the lines of pizza than boeuf bourguignon--then explained how they could help mommy and daddy have a special time together by going to bed early, and staying there.  Besides the reward of their favorite meal, they could stay up late reading and talking to one another.  We occasionally heard thumps and giggles long after we would have ordinarily put a stop to it, but never once did they not fulfill their part of the bargain by interrupting us because we stressed to them how important their part was and they were thrilled to do it. 

Marriage is a high maintenance relationship.  If you neglect it, it goes downhill in a hurry.  Do something today, no matter how small it may be—and whether or not the other one reciprocates--to keep that from happening.  Make sure it is something that will mean something to your spouse, not just to you!  Men and women are different that way (as if you hadn’t noticed).  Then choose another time to do it again—not just your anniversary or Valentine’s Day.  Do it sometimes for no good reason at all. Or isn’t keeping your marriage alive reason enough? 

God expects you to romance one another.

Drink waters out of your own cistern, and running waters out of your own well.  Should your springs be dispersed abroad, and streams of water in the streets?  Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.  Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth.  As a loving hind and a pleasant doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times, and be ravished always with her love.  Prov 5:15-20   

Dene Ward

Today’s post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

I do not have any children so you may think I don’t have anything worth listening to.  But for 7 years I was in the position of managing some of Mama's little darlings in what was, for many of them, their first job.  So I saw up close and personal the results of modern American child rearing.  It was rarely pretty.  

Most kids, as they first get out into the world, have no sense of cause and effect. They have no idea that they should ever put the group ahead of themselves. They don't know how to deal with adversity because they've never been allowed to experience it before. They don't know what work is, have no sense of responsibility, and don't acknowledge any absolutes. AND THESE ARE THE GOOD KIDS!

Good parents should raise their children to succeed in life, and if they cannot hold down a job, they won’t.  Period.  So here are some suggestions from the boss they might work for someday, who is probably a lot like most bosses.

1) Don't protect your kids from their mistakes.  If they goof up, allow them to feel the pain it causes.  Point out the relationship between their actions and the consequences.  When it’s their fault, they need to own it, not blame someone else.

2) Don't protect your kids from life.  I once was talking to one of my employees and said, "Life isn't fair."  She looked at me strangely and said, "Yes it is, or it always has been to me."  All I could do was stare at her with my mouth hanging open and think "Oh, you poor girl!"  She had no defenses built up.  When something unfair happens to her, which it will, she will have no idea how to handle it.  She'll likely fall apart.  Inoculate your children against life by letting them see what goes on and showing them how to handle it.

3) Teach your children that they aren't the most important thing in the world.  (I know, they are the most important thing to you, but if you aren't careful you'll teach them to act as if they are the world's royalty.)  When I was growing up I didn't always get what I wanted, not always because it was a bad thing or because my parents couldn't afford it, but because it was my brother's turn to choose or Dad or Mom wanted to do something different.  We were also taught to consider how our actions affected others. There was no quicker way to anger Dad than to be noisy when Mom was napping. We were taught to think of others.

4) Teach your children what work is.  If you live in town, this may be harder – no, I don't consider taking the trash out twice a week and mowing a quarter acre lawn on a riding mower to be work -- but figure something out.  I had good kids as employees who wanted to be good employees, but just didn't know how to work: how to stick with a job until it was finished, how to see what needed to be done and do it, how to stay busy.  There's an old phrase that really needs to be introduced to America's youth: "An honest day's work for an honest day's pay".  Most kids today think that clocking in on time, working while the boss is watching, and talking to their friends the rest of the time is "work".  The company isn't paying them to stand around, and one day they may find out the hard way.

5) While there are some gray areas, some things are right and some are wrong.  Even modern psychology tells us that children are happier with boundaries—it makes them feel secure.  The same fence that keeps them in, keeps the bad things out.  So teach them some absolute guidelines. Best place to start: your Bible.

Wow, I've become a cranky old man.                          

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might...Eccl 9:10

Lucas Ward

I bet if I were to ask you which king set the standard for evil in Israel, without hesitation you would answer, “Ahab,” along with his Sidonian wife, Jezebel.  Certainly the two of them accomplished a heap of wickedness in their rule of the northern kingdom, everything from idolatry and murder to all sorts of immorality; but you might be surprised at the one who is mentioned most often as a comparison of evil in the scriptures.

Jeroboam was the first king of the northern half of the divided nation.  He feared that he would lose the support of the people and they would turn back to the Davidic dynasty in the south, regardless of the fact that God promised him, if you will hearken to all that I command you, and walk in my ways, and do that which is right in my eyes, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as David my servant did, that I will be with you, and will build you a sure house, as I built for David, and will give Israel to you, 1 Kgs 11:38.  Because he did not have faith in that promise, he changed the pattern of worship as set forth in the Law, 1 Kgs 12:25-33. 

He made a new feast day, v 32-33, so the people would not be traveling to Jerusalem with all the southerners to worship together, v 27.  He began making priests of other tribes than Levi, v 31.  He made two new places of worship, Dan and Bethel, conveniently located at both ends of the country, so the people would not feel compelled to travel to Jerusalem—anything to keep them at home and happy.  It is important to note, too, that the calves he built were not idols to be worshipped, but graven images by which the people were to worship Jehovah—something Amos and Hosea make more apparent than 1 Kings.  This was not rampant idolatry; it was just a change in the pattern of worshipping Jehovah.

So what is the problem?  They still worship Jehovah.  They still keep feasts to Jehovah, and make sacrifices under the leadership of a priesthood.  Yet these were things devised of his own heart, v 33, not things that God had ordained.  This is the difference:  God said through the prophet Ahijah in 14:14-16, Jehovah will raise up a king who will cut off the house of Jeroboam…For Jehovah will smite Israel, as a reed is shaken in the water, and he will root up Israel out of this good land which he gave to their fathers, and will scatter them beyond the River…and he will give Israel up because of the sins of Jeroboam, which he has sinned, and in which he made Israel to sin.  From the point of the northern kingdom’s first king, God had decided their fate—they would not stand for the Law, so he would not stand for them.

Now take a few minutes and read these passages:  1 Kgs 15:3, 29, 30; 16:25,26, 31; 22:51,52; 2 Kgs 3:1-3; 10:29-31; 13:1-3, 10, 11; 14:23,24; 15:8,9,17,18,23,24; 17:20-23.  What do they have in common?  A phrase similar to this: and he walked in the ways of Jeroboam the son of Nebat in which he made Israel to sin.  Five times a king is said to have done evil “like Ahab,” but sixteen times the honor goes to Jeroboam.  Jeroboam single-handedly caused the destruction of the northern kingdom, and set the standard for evil among all her kings.  How?  By disrespecting the Law of God.  That is the legacy of Jeroboam.

Whether we like it or not, we are all leaving a legacy.  It may not affect a kingdom, but it will affect our children, and theirs, and theirs, till before you know it, we have affected hundreds.  The greatest legacy we can leave is to follow God’s pattern for marriage, raising children, worship, and social conduct.  If your children are small, now is the time to become conscious of the legacy you are leaving, before it’s too late.  The frightening thing about legacies is, they cannot be undone!

But when that generation was gathered to their fathers, there arose a generation that knew not God…Judges 2:10.  

Don’t let it be your children’s generation.

Dene Ward

It’s happened twice now.  I leave my campsite loaded down with shower gear and clean clothes, only to walk into what should be a sanctuary for women only and find a couple of little boys running around—not three year olds, mind you, but boys who are well into grade school, probably 8 or 9.

A campground bathhouse is a bit like a locker room.  Yes, there are shower stalls with curtains, but often the dressing area in those stalls becomes nearly as wet as the tiles behind the shower itself.  Sometimes you have to open the curtain so you can step out and put on your jeans without dragging them through a puddle.  On our last trip a woman came marching out of the stall in her jeans and bra, flapping her arms and exclaiming how hot it was.  What would have happened if those two little boys had been in there then?

Even the little boys cared.  They were showering when I came in to brush my teeth late one night.  Their mother had all their clothes piled in a far corner of the room. 

“Come on out,” she called through the shower curtain.

“But there’s a woman out there,” the older boy said.

“I’m sure she’s seen it before,” she hollered back, and suddenly in the mirror I saw a naked child streaking behind me.  For his sake I kept my eyes averted from the embarrassed little boy crouching behind the sinks.  If it bothers the boys, surely that’s the time to put them in the men’s bathhouse, isn’t it?

Then I got an even bigger shock.  “I’ll be right back,” the mom told the boys.  “I have to take this to your dad.”

Dad?  Why didn’t Dad have them in the men’s bathhouse to begin with?  No, dad was absent, as so many are these days, watching TV in the trailer by the satellite dish he had hauled along on a two night camping trip on top of a beautiful mountain.  I wonder if he ever noticed the scenery, much less his sons. 

My boys were blessed to have a father who took his role seriously.  He didn’t leave everything to me until they got “bigger.”  He changed diapers.  He rolled around on the floor with them.  He played every ball game in season, even when they weren’t very good at it yet.  He read the Bible to them every morning while they ate breakfast, and a Bible story every night before bed, even before they were able to understand what he was reading.  Nearly every night he was the one who gave them their baths so I had time to clean up the supper dishes.  And yes, he took them into the men’s bathhouse whenever we camped, which began when Nathan was only three.

For awhile Keith worked nights.  He would not have seen the boys except right before school and on weekends, but he got up early every morning, despite his late hours, to walk them to the bus stop.  He left them notes in the middle of table every day, pieces of advice, Bible verses to memorize before the weekend, and always an “I love you.”  They usually ran straight for the table when the bus dropped them off, and I still have a notebook with those little yellow notes taped to the pages.  It wasn’t long before he changed jobs, taking one at far less salary because being with his boys was more important than money.

Fathers, you have a more important calling than the one that pays your bills.  Boys need to know what it takes to be a man of God.  Girls need to see the kind of man they should look for one day.  If all you do is let mama handle things till they get a little bigger, you are missing the most precious years of their lives.  You still won’t have a relationship with your child, because you didn’t build one when the building came naturally.  They won’t trust you to really care, and no one will much blame them.

And you fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, Ephesians 6:4.

Dene Ward

Imagine for a minute that you are vacationing in a five star resort for which you have paid big money, more than you probably should have.  The flimsy shower curtain doesn’t quite reach side to side in the bathtub, the shower stream is thin and continues to drip after you turn it off.  The room is so cold you have to dress at the speed of light.  There is no television, telephone, refrigerator, or microwave, and the bed is hard.  No toiletries are offered, no room service, and you even have to carry your own linens with you.  How happy would you be?  You would probably not have lasted one night before you demanded your money back.

Campers put up with all of that, particularly tent campers, and they have a fine old time.  They understand going in what to expect, especially since they are paying a fraction of the amount of even a moderately priced motel.  Even when the weather is dismal, they seldom complain.  You take your chances when you live outdoors for a week.  Isn’t it interesting that the same circumstances can produce both happy people and unhappy people?

The only time we ever wrote a letter of complaint in 30 years of camping was last year.  Even campers in a state park campground have every right to expect a well-drained campsite.  When it rained our last night there, not only did the site not drain well, it collected water from all the surrounding sites.  We woke up in a pool of water.  The tent floor billowed up around us when we took a step.  At least it was waterproof, or the thousands of dollars worth of Keith’s hearing paraphernalia that we keep charging in the floor overnight (since there is no furniture in a tent) would have been ruined.

But we didn’t complain because of the rain.  We didn’t complain because it was cold enough for a foot high icicle to form under the water spigot.  We didn’t complain because the wind blew our light pole over, or the bathhouse only had two shower stalls for the whole campground.  That’s what you expect when you camp.  At least there was a bathhouse with hot running water and a heater in it!

It doesn’t take much to be a happy camper.  Maybe that’s why God has always warned his people about a life of ease.  Take care lest… when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the LORD your God…(Deuteronomy 8:11-14).

Our lives on this earth are often depicted as camping.  We are sojourners.  We are just passing through.  Or are we?  How much do we take for granted in these days of luxury?  Every so often I remind myself to thank God for the running water, for the electricity, for the air conditioning.  I have lost them often enough, and for long enough at times, to remember that they don’t just happen; they aren’t “inalienable rights”—they are blessings.

Ask people today what is on their list of necessities and it will scare you to death.  An easy life makes a soft people.  Self-discipline disappears.  The ability to endure hardship is practically non-existent.  Complaining becomes an art form, and my problems are always someone else’s fault.  The worst result is the pride that causes us to forget God, Prov 30:8,9.

The results of trials and afflictions, on the other hand, are good, Deut 8:15,16; Psa 126:5,6; 1 Pet 1:6-8; 4:13,14. They make us stronger; they remind us who is in control, and build our faith and dependence upon God.  They remind us of the love God has for his children.  I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous, that in faithfulness you have afflicted me, Psa 119:75. 

A parent who never says no, who never makes his child earn anything with his own hard work, who always gets him out of trouble instead of allowing him to reap the consequences of his mistakes, is not a faithful, loving parent.  These things build character.  Wealth doesn’t.  Luxury doesn’t.  Anyone who “needs” that to be happy will never in this life be a happy camper.

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. 1 Timothy 6:17-19

Dene Ward

A long time ago, a couple entrusted their two teenage daughters to us while they worked away from the area for six months.  I was 29 years old at the time, and 7 or 8 years from having teenagers of my own.  I doubt we really knew what we were getting into, but we agreed and did our best. 

Having someone give the care of their children into your hands for more than just a couple of hours is terrifying.  I think we probably made even stricter decisions than we did with our own children when the first one hit that milestone age of 13 several years later.  This isn’t like borrowing a lawn mower, or even a luxury automobile—these were souls we were asked to look after, in some of their most important years.

Those girls are grown now, even older than we were when they lived with us.  In spite of those six months, they turned out very well, as have their own children.  I doubt it had anything to do with us, but you had better believe that we were on our toes far more in those six months than at any other time in our lives.  Still, we made mistakes, but it wasn’t for lack of praying and considering before we did anything.

I am sure you can understand how we felt.  Here’s the thing, as a famous TV detective is wont to say:  all of us who are parents are given Someone Else’s kids to care for.  All souls are mine, God said in Ezek 18:4.  The Hebrew writer calls Him “the Father of spirits” in 12:9, the same word he uses in verse 23, “the spirits of just men made perfect.”  God is the Father of all souls, including those children of His He has entrusted to our care.  How careful should we be about raising them?

I have seen too many parents who are more concerned with their careers, with their personal “fulfillment,” and their own agendas.  They want children because that is what you do, the thing that is expected by society, and a right they feel they must exercise, not because they want to spend the time it takes to care for them.  “I’m too busy for that,” they say of everything from nursing and potty training to teaching them Bible stories and their ABCs.  When you decide to take on the privilege of caring for one of God’s souls, you have obligated yourself to whatever time it takes to do it properly and with the care you would for the most valuable object anyone ever entrusted into your hands.

If realizing that the souls of the children in your home are God’s doesn’t terrify you at least a little bit, you probably aren’t doing a very good job of taking care of them.

And he said unto them, Set your heart unto all the words which I testify unto you this day, which you shall command your children to observe to do, even all the words of this law. For it is no vain thing for you; because it is your life… Deuteronomy 32:46-47.

Dene Ward

I find Job to be one of the most perplexing books in the Bible.  After trying many years to understand it, I have come up with this:  the book of Job does not answer the question of why bad things happen to good people; it is merely God saying, “You do not need to know why.  You just need to trust me no matter what.”

We all know the story.  In an attempt to make Job renounce God, Satan took away every good thing in his life.  What did he lose?  Seven sons, three daughters, seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, five hundred female donkeys (remember, wealth was measured mainly by livestock in the patriarchal times), many servants, standing in the community, and even his health.  About the only things he didn’t lose were his house (42:11), his wife, and his closest friends--if you can call them that.  In fact, when you think about it, Satan probably knew those people would be a help in his own cause, and that is why he left them.  He certainly would not have left Job with a support system if he could have helped it.

And that brings us to Mrs. Job.  Now let’s be fair.  When Job lost everything, so did she.  And as I have grown older I have learned to be very careful about judging people who are going through any sort of traumatic experience. 

Keith and I have been through a lot together.  I have had to take food off my plate and put it on my children’s plates because they were still hungry and there was no more.  We have dug ditches next to each other in a driving rainstorm to keep our house from washing away.  I have held a convulsing child as he drove 90 mph to the emergency room thirty miles away.  We have carried all the water we used in the house back and forth for a month because the well collapsed and we could not afford to repair it.  I have bandaged the bullet wounds he sustained as a law enforcement officer.  But all that happened over a period of thirty years, not in one day.  And never have I lost a child, much less all of them.  What I would do if I were Mrs. Job, I do not know.  What I should do is easy to say, but however glibly it rolls off my tongue, that does not mean I would have the strength to do it. 

She was suffering just as much as her husband.  But somehow, Job hung on, while his wife let her grief consume her.  Job actually lost his wife in an even more painful way than death because she failed the test of faith.

So what happened to her afterward?  Job did have a wife or he would not have had more children (42:13).  Without further evidence to the contrary, the logical assumption is that it was the same wife.  Since they had a continuing relationship perhaps he is the one who helped her, and she repented both of her failure to be a “helper suitable” and of her faithlessness.

So what should we learn about sharing grief as a couple?  What I hope we would all do when grief and suffering assail our homes is support one another.  The thing that Job did not have from anyone is the thing that should make all single people desire a good marriage:  support and help.  Troubles should pull us together, not tear us apart.  What I cannot lift by myself, I can with help. Sometimes he is the reason she makes it over a personal hill and other times she is his light to make it through the dark places, and that is how God intended it.

Now here is the question for each of us.  If Satan were going to test my spouse, would he take me, or leave me?

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.  Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth, but how can one be warm alone?  Eccl 4:9-11

Dene Ward

I bet you’ve never heard of Rizpah.  Her story actually begins in Joshua 9.

The first cities the Israelites conquered after they entered Canaan were Jericho and Ai, Joshua 6 & 8.  In spite of what we would consider primitive communications, the word spread, and just as Rahab had heard about the Red Sea, a nation of people called the Gibeonites, who lived just north of present day Jerusalem, had heard about the Israelites and Jehovah’s promise to help them drive out all the Canaanites, 9:24.  Gibeonites were Hivites, a tribe of Canaanites, so they qualified for destruction, and they knew it.

They chose several men to act as ambassadors, packed up moldy bread, old clothes and shoes, and carried old wineskins.  When they arrived at the Israelite encampment, they said, “We’ve come a long way.  Look, everything was new when we started, and our food fresh.”  They wanted to make a pact.  “We will be your servants forever, if you will spare us.”  Instead of going to God, the Israelites believed these people, and were deceived into making the covenant, swearing by Jehovah.

As their punishment, God held Israel to the deal.  Years later, Saul killed some of the Gibeonites. They came to David for justice in 1 Samuel 21.  Two of Saul’s sons by his concubine Rizpah, and five of his grandsons by his older daughter Merab were given to the Gibeonites for execution.  I cannot imagine the despair in these mothers’ hearts as their sons were taken to their deaths.  But even more, I cannot imagine the strength it took for one of them to do what came next.

The Law stated that a body should not be left hanging overnight, Deut 21:22,23.  But those men’s bodies hung out there day after day.  Rizpah took it upon herself to care for the remains, not just of her sons, but of another woman’s sons as well, until someone took notice and obeyed God’s Law.  This woman, who had been a king’s wife (a concubine is a wife of second rank), living in relative luxury for many years, sat out in the open, 24/7, chasing away vultures by day and packs of snarling, scavenging jackals by night “from the beginning of harvest till the rains fell again,” possibly as long as six months!  Now add to that physically taxing and dangerous chore the overpowering, nauseating smell and the hideous sight of seven decomposing bodies, in the heat of summer, and above all, the heart wrenching pain of knowing that two of those bodies were her sons.  Finally, David noticed, and buried them.

Being a good parent requires strength and sacrifice, and huge quantities of time.  It involves a lot of humbling dirty work.  But no messy diaper or pool of vomit to clean up can come close to what this woman endured for her children.  Surely with Rizpah as an example, we can do whatever is required of us for the good of our children.  We can give up our selfish desires when necessary.  We can administer tough love, even when it hurts   We can take the time to teach them right from wrong, and teach them God’s word day in and day out, rather than expecting the church to do our God-given duty for us.. 

Rizpah could not save her sons’ lives, but even after their deaths, she did more, endured more for them than some parents will do for their children who are alive and well every day in their comfortable homes.

Set your heart unto all the words which I testify unto you this day, which you shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law, for it is no vain thing for you, because it is your life…Deut 32:46,47

Dene Ward