Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Gen 2:23-24).

The stated reason that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife is that she is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh.  Such closeness does not come with the pronouncement of vows or a simple change of address.  Paul says a man never hates his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it as Christ does the church.  We are members of Christ's body, bone of his bones, and nourished and cherished by him.  What limits did Christ put on caring for his body, the church?  What need of his bride goes unmet?  Being head requires the love that motivates a husband to do all, not "all he can" but "all" to provide his wife's needs.

Christ's purpose toward his bride was to present the church to himself "not having spot or wrinkle" and becoming "holy and without blemish."  A husband's considered goal must be to nourish his bride into becoming that kind of wife.  The church requires liberal applications of washing with the word to become a present to Christ.  Most brides need nourishing and cherishing to transform them into the wife that is a glorious present to her husband.  Young husbands are not even being taught that they ought to be doing this much less, how to do it.  And, for the most part, the older men have focused only on being providers of the physical necessities and so, have zero experience in this area to pass on about the true meaning of nourishing and cherishing a woman.  [Clue, it takes more than candy on Valentine's Day and roses on your anniversary.]

If a house and a sufficient food supply feeds and warms the outward person, then what feeds a woman's character, her soul?  A man belonging to God must think about this in order to be the head God appointed him to be.  Providing physical needs is the easiest part, even during hard times.  What does your woman need in order to develop mentally, for her character to grow?  Maybe she has been protected and needs to learn to live in the real world; maybe her biblical knowledge is less than it ought to be; maybe she is still too much a child to be raising children.  Add to this, what are the husband's goals.  What if, for example, he hopes to be an elder?  Then what must she become to stand beside him?  

We quickly conclude that every man must develop a plan for them to grow together, to become one.  And, here I must confess that I failed.  We did not have a plan.  We just stumbled along with a Godward attitude and bounced around with a lot of bruises and somehow got better.  OH…. but how much better could we have become had someone shown me the need to develop a concrete plan for our one-ness to grow—bone of my bone, heart of my heart?  It could have been so much more, so much sooner.  Here are a couple of suggestions.

First, plans have to be flexible.  When you marry, you do not know so very much about each other after all.  Then, she will change: bride to wife, mother, empty nester, grandmother; children's teacher to women's Bible Class teacher, teacher's wife, deacon's wife, elder's wife.  Planning for each stage will be different and require Bible study together and practical discussions.

Next, plans must be realistic about her shortcomings and yours, and how you will work toward fixing these problems.  Books and preachers and elders can help, but the husband needs true wisdom to translate that information to meet their personal needs.  This is his duty as head.

Every woman needs emotional warming.  When she is upset about something, just hold her.  Don't formulate a solution, just hold her.  Listen.  Don't tell her how to fix it; [she knows] just listen.  And, then, hold her.  

She needs emotional feeding.  Compliment her.  Tell others how happy you are that she____________.   Encourage her.  Reward her.  There are things she needs that you will never understand.  Your job does not require understanding why, just understanding that she needs these things and giving them to her.
Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing.  But, not all married women are wives as defined in this proverb.  Good wives are born of nourishing and cherishing by good husbands who are determined to fulfill their role as Christ did for the church.

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18).
 
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).

Keith Ward
 

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

It’s common knowledge that the Old Testament worship rituals were a figure for our worship to God now. We mine the Passover for more insight into the Lord’s Supper, since Jesus is called our Passover (1 Cor. 5:7), but we also look into the Day of Atonement since we know He died to cleanse us of our sins (e.g. Rom. 5:6). Many of the lesser rituals also teach us a lot about what God expects from us in worship.

When we think of O.T. worship, we normally think of the sacrifice. And we think of it in terms of sacrificing something to God. The shepherd gives up a sheep he otherwise could have harvested wool from year after year and which could have been breeding stock as well. He sacrifices that sheep to God to show his devotion. The other way we think of sacrifices is in terms of something dying in our stead. When people living under the Law of Moses sinned, they had to offer a sin offering for forgiveness. Something had to die for them to be able to stand before God, a sacrifice had to be made.

There is another kind of sacrifice that was made, however. This one was the offering. Some of these offerings were barely different from a sacrifice of devotion, e.g. the burnt offering, but sometimes the concept of offering was very different. Sometimes a worshipper was just very happy because of his blessings and wanted to offer thanks to God. He would offer thanksgiving offerings (Lev. 7:11ff). Free will offerings were similar. One just wanted to worship God at a random time in the year, not part of one of the set feasts, and he brought an offering to God (Lev. 23:21ff). The concept here was less of making a sacrifice for God and more of giving Him a gift. In fact, the free-will offering was very much like a barbeque in which God was the guest of honor.

Even in these free-will offerings and thanksgiving offerings there were rules and procedures which had to be followed. Chief among these was the necessity of the offering being unblemished:

Lev. 22:21-22 “And when anyone offers a sacrifice of peace offerings to the LORD to fulfill a vow or as a freewill offering from the herd or from the flock, to be accepted it must be perfect; there shall be no blemish in it. Animals blind or disabled or mutilated or having a discharge or an itch or scabs you shall not offer to the LORD or give them to the LORD as a food offering on the altar.”

When giving a gift to God, the Israelites were told to give their best. They weren’t to give God second-rate offerings. After all, the purpose was to offer up “a sweet savor to the Lord”. That sweet savor, or pleasing aroma, wouldn’t come from halt, maimed, or scabby sheep. God deserved the best.

We can learn from this as we offer our worship to the Lord. After all, we ourselves are to be a sweet savor to the Lord. 2 Cor. 2:15 “For we are a sweet savor of Christ unto God”. First, and obviously, the offering of our lives to the Lord must be of our own free-will. We must choose to devote our lives to Him. No one else can make this choice for us, nor should anyone be able to stop us from making this commitment.

To the concept that our lives are to bring a pleasing aroma before God add in Rom. 14:8 “For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; or whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.” Also Col. 3:23 “whatsoever ye do, work heartily, as unto the Lord, and not unto men”. Now our lives are offerings to God. Am I living in such a way that God only gets the best? After all, Jesus said that the greatest commandment is “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with ALL thy heart, and with ALL thy soul, and with ALL thy mind.” (Matt. 22:37)

While this concept of offering the best to God should be carried to every aspect of our lives, let’s just look at the worship services we participate in on a weekly basis. When we sing, do we sing to the Lord? 1 Cor. 14:15b “I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also.” So, do I pay attention to the words? Do I think about them, ponder what they mean? Or do I get caught up in the soaring melodies and intricate harmonies? Am I so busy looking for new sounds that I forget to contemplate the old lessons being taught? The Greek word translated “one another” in Eph. 5:19 and Col. 3:16 is most often translated “to ourselves”. While songs are a great way to edify the whole congregation, the first one I can be teaching with these songs is myself, but only if I bother to pay attention and think about them. When I offer God worship in song, am I offering my best?

What about during the prayers? Am I paying attention? Am I considering what is being prayed so I can offer an “Amen” at the end? 1 Cor. 14:6 says that the members of the congregation need to be able to understand the prayers so they can say “Amen”. Doesn’t it also follow that they need to listen with understanding to be able to so join in? When the church offers up a prayer to God as part of our worship, am I participating, or am I thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch and whether or not the Steelers will cover the spread? Am I offering my best?

The sermon cuts both ways, as does the Bible class. In the audience, am I listening and considering what is being taught? Am I being noble, searching the scriptures like the Bereans? (Acts 17). Am I using the opportunity to hear God’s word as a chance to offer up worship to Him? Or am I dozing off?

But as the preacher or teacher, am I using the opportunity to present a lesson on His word as a chance to offer up a gift to Him? Am I prepared, organized, researched and ready? Or am I winging it because I couldn’t be bothered to take the time to prepare properly? I know that personally there have been too many times when I wasn’t as prepared to teach as I should have been. Those lessons often went very well, but I know that I wasn’t offering an unblemished gift to God those nights.

When we come together to offer up our worship to God, we need to give our best. And it doesn’t matter how old or young we are. If someone is old enough to count the cost (Luke 14) and make a commitment to God, then s/he is old enough to sing along with understanding, pay attention during prayers and sermons, and offer true worship to God during our services. If they aren’t old enough to pay attention, how could they have truly counted the cost?

Lev. 22:29 “And when you sacrifice a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the LORD, you shall sacrifice it so that you may be accepted.”

Lucas Ward

A continuing series by guest writer Keith Ward.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen 2:24). 

Though we often use the word, "cleave," in our wedding ceremonies, elsewhere in our times it is mainly used of a meat cleaver that cuts things apart.  Certainly not what God intended by Moses' inspired comment!  The Hebrew word means to cling but few translations use that and also have the true meaning of "one flesh."  The word for cleave also means "adhere," in our vernacular, "stick like glue" or to "cling like Velcro."  Obviously God intends that the husband hold the woman fast to him in a special way that is unique, different from any other relationship.

Unquestionably, God intends "one flesh" to be a full-time occupation and it is the man's primary responsibility.   "What God joined together" stays together though geography separates the couple by hundreds of miles.  The importance of developing this relationship is emphasized by the use of the same word in the same way in the Shema, "Hear, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah" (Deut 6:4).  Though we understand that God is three persons, He is ONE.  In the same way, the husband is to leave all else to make himself one with his wife.  Perhaps God intended this relationship as it approaches its ideal to teach us about Him.  If so, treating it casually reflects our disdain for God.
 
Becoming one first requires leaving. Moses refers to "father and mother" as the ultimate that a man must put behind him. They were the first people he knew and the first and primary relationship in his life. Again, geography has little to do with leaving and especially in that society where generations of extended family lived together. Jacob was probably not the first "Mama's boy" and he certainly has not been the last. Not only must he leave, the husband must act so decisively that his wife is confident of her primacy. "The way Mama did it" and large amounts of time spent with his family with or without the wife indicate a failure to leave. He must never allow his parents to criticize his wife even if that requires strong measures. I often tell Dene that she is my "only."  My actions prove that is not just "sweet nothings."
 
Parents are not the only obstruction to leaving and cleaving. Many men I have worked with spent more time hunting and fishing with their buddies than they spent with their wives. Hobbies can be wonderful and useful to a man's character, but when they regularly occupy more time than she does, the wife is justified in feeling that she is nothing more than a cook and a sex object to him. Couples who both work outside the home and for whom household chores occupy much of their time together must make special effort to keep their relationship strong. The fact is that they both spend more time with and have more conversation with co-workers than they do with one another. Children become another separator. If care is not taken, time will pass and no glue will remain to adhere them to one another; occasional sex will become the only sense of "one flesh" that remains.
 
Oneness must be nurtured with care—make mutual decisions about everything: where to live, whether to take a promotion, where to worship, the standards and rules to apply to raising children, whether she works outside the home and the division of labor for the housework. What others think does not matter. Otherwise, you neither left nor are you cleaving. A husband demonstrates commitment to his wife by never even thinking about flirting with another woman and the wife should see this and have this confidence. He must never criticize her to others, and care must be taken to not fight in front of the children. Not only must he not criticize, he must not allow others to criticize her in his presence. I should not have to say that women never appreciate male humor and she is well aware that "many a truth is spoken in jest. Don't. Just Don't.
 
Timothy was likely in his forties when Paul admonished, "flee youthful passions" (2Tim2:22). If he was not speaking of "midlife crises" than application certainly exists. Men begin to realize their dreams conceived in youthful idealism will never happen and they go wild in pursuit of youthful fancies. Observation leads me to believe that well over half of all Corvettes are owned by men over 40 which is also true for Harley motorcycles. "Arm candy" for gray headed men has spawned a major industry in Viagra and Cialis. Leaving and cleaving and one flesh are left in Satan's dust as husbands think of little but Self.
 
Many married couples have lived together for years in various residences and are no more married than the shacked-up couple who sees no need for a legal piece of paper to validate their relationship. The unmarried couple has a point, a piece of paper does not make a couple married in the sense God intends—He must leave and cleave, she must submit, he must dwell with her according to knowledge, he must love her as Christ loved the church, he is to lead and he is to nourish and cherish her. Notice how heavily these foundations of marriage are weighted toward the husband—this is the responsibility of being head. "Head" is not a right. If theirs is not a marriage that emulates the relationship among the Godhood, then the failure is his.
 
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18).

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).
 
Keith Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Mark Roberts.
 
The Internet and all that goes with it used to live on a desktop or laptop computer. Now we carry it in the palm of our hands with a smart phone or tablet. Apps and browsers connect us to the entire world at the speed of light. Yet more and more people are beginning to think and re-think about how they are affected by the digital devices we carry (and love). Of course, the Bible doesn’t have an explicit “Thou shalt not have aniPhone” passage. Does that mean we get one and use it without thought? What is needed in situations where there is not a clear “thus saith the Lord” but we may have some reservations and concerns is wisdom. How can I get the good from digital devices without them causing me more problems than they are worth? That is a question seeking wisdom. Let’s go get some from the Bible’s books of wisdom, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes!

First, recognize part of our problem is that we are not intentional with our devices. Someone says “Have you got this app?” and we load it. “Are you on this social network?  Everyone is, it’s so cool!” and we join it. But everything we add to our phone (and use) puts additional pressure and time loads on our lives. If I’m not on Instagram and then I join where will the time come from that I surf and look at Instagram? I don’t get more minutes added to my day when I add an app. So where will the time to use that app come from? Did I intentionally choose “I will do less of this because I want to do this new app?” No. I just download it in on my device and end up with a life that is cramped
and compressed.  When I add an app, particularly a social media app, I need to ask “What will I give up to make room for this? What will be crowded out by doing this new thing?” More often than not, it could be my spiritual disciplines that suffer. That’s why I need to be intentional! “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Eccl3:1).

Secondly, part of the trouble with social media and the Internet is that it feeds the arrogance of “I matter.” A lot of social media is about me. It’s me showing my great vacation. It’s me talking about me and my life. And more and more, it seems, it’s me sharing my opinion on everything. This news story. This action by a celebrity. This political contest. Apparently the world is waiting to hear what I think about all this and more and I need to weigh in! I will set people straight - just wait till they read my Facebook post on today’s hot topic! Wait till they see the meme I post ridiculing those I disagree with!
 
This is madness. This is pride gone to seed and bearing a bitter harvest. Making something about me is not wise. Talking more about me isn’t interesting to anybody else and it’s not good for me. As for thinking that my opinion matters on the recent scandal or news story ... that’s just as foolish. How do we imagine that we know enough to comment because we saw something on the Internet? Do we think we really have all the facts? Do we really know the background and context of complicated situations and circumstances? Could we be led astray by fake news? Without any regard for these cautions I can dive right in and tell the world what is what, as if I really know (how arrogant) or that anyone cares what I think anyway (again, just arrogance). “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).

Thirdly, we need to realize that anything that is instant often isn’t wise. The Internet is immediate, isn’t it? I can share my thoughts, my photos, my opinions, my ideas now.  So when I’m angry I can just vent on the spot. When I’m upset I can tell the world how unhappy I am. When I am sure I know the problem (and its solution) I can spout my counsel to everyone. All of this can be done without much thought, much consideration, or much time spent carefully considering if what I’m saying needs to be said, is helpful, kind or loving. I just type it out and press SEND or POST. Bang. Instantly I’ve put itout there. There’s not much wisdom in that, is there?  “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

I don’t believe we have to smash our phones (or go back to old fashioned flip phones with no internet access). However, I do believe we should bring wisdom to every part of our lives, and that does include the device in your pocket! Be wise in your use of technology!

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (Proverbs 10:19)

Mark Roberts
 
Mark Roberts is the editor of Pressing On, a monthly e-magazine. He and his wife Dena have worked with the Westside church in Irving, Texas, for more than twenty-five years. Pressing On, for which I also write, can be had delivered straight to your computer for only $10.00 a year.  If you are interested, please contact me on the contact page on the left sidebar and I will connect you with Mark.  Dene Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.
 
The title of this essay comes from the KJV of Titus 2:14. Peculiar, as used here, doesn’t mean weird or unusual, but special. Most modern translations render this “a people for His own possession” or something similar. Of course, if Christians are to be a people especially His, this would mean that we are different from most everyone else.

We often talk about what it means to be holy. We are commanded by God through Peter to be holy. (1 Pet. 1:15-16)  Being holy means being set apart.  Holy things are used only for the purposes for which they have been set apart. They aren’t used for everyday, common purposes.  Holy people, likewise, don’t just do whatever pops into their heads. We are set apart for God’s purposes.  I’m reminded of Romans 6.  In the first eleven verses we are reminded no less than six times that we have crucified the old man, buried him in baptism and we are now dead to sin.    Instead we are living new lives to God (mentioned four times). Then verses 12-13 hammer the point home:

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”

We are no longer to obey sin or to present ourselves to it as its instruments. Instead, we now are God’s and present ourselves to Him to do His will. This will, naturally, make us different from most and they won’t always like that:

1 Pet. 4:3-4 “For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you”

Peter says that the past is where our sinning belongs.  And we all have a past, don’t we?  But when we decide to follow Christ and live as one of His people, our old friends will be surprised when we no longer join them in revelries.  Not only surprised, but upset.  “Malign you” is translated in other versions as “speak evil of you”.  We will be accused of being holier-than-thou, of judging them because we don’t participate, of being hypocrites, and possibly worse.  A word of encouragement for those times, straight from the Lord:

“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matt. 5:11-12)

The ancients didn’t have much good to say about Elijah or Jeremiah or Ezekiel, did they?  That’s some pretty good company to be in.

Of course, before our former running mates can berate us for being different, they have to notice that we are different. Remember verse 3 of 1 Pet. 4: “For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.” These are the things that are supposed to be left in the past.  Are they?

SENSUALITY & PASSIONS. I like the word sensuality better than the old word lasciviousness.  Sensuality is easier to understand.  Anything in which the senses are overindulged.  People given to sensuality are chasing whatever feels good and is pleasurable.  Not all these things are wrong in and of themselves, but these people put pleasure first in their lives and all else later.  You might recall Philippians 3:19 in which Paul refers to some whose “god is their belly”.  They’ve given themselves over to their appetites.  While slavery to all passions is in view, illicit sexuality is what is commonly thought of regarding “sensuality and passions”.  As a Christian, I’d never go out to the dance clubs and dance the grinding, sexual dances of today with whatever barely dressed women are also attending, but boy is it fun to watch Dancing With the Stars!  With barely any exaggeration I can say there is only one reason any heterosexual man watches that show: the professional dancing women in their peekaboo gowns. That is why I watched it religiously for years; seeing those women and wishing I was the “star” who got to handle them during the dance.  That is why all my male friends at work watched it.  I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t watch that show. That’s not my point.  I am saying we are to be a special people, a people for God’s own possession and, as such, we need to consider what we are watching and why we are watching it.

DRUNKENNESS. Surely this isn’t a problem in the Church, is it?  Three things about that: First, there are quite a few recovering addicts in the Church and we, as loving brothers willing to bear one another’s burdens, need to be aware, ready and willing to help them out in any way they need.  Second, it is probably a bigger problem in the Church than many are aware of or willing to admit.  So, yes, it needs to be explicitly stated that one of God’s own people should not be getting drunk.  And third, there are many Christians who believe that there is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine, or a beer, with a meal.  My point is not to argue that right now, but rather to ask a question.  Do your worldly friends know that you are the kind who only ever has one glass of wine with a meal or do they know that you are the kind who SAYS you only have one, but half the time you take a second glass followed by a third and sometimes even crack the second bottle?  Or finish off the six-pack?  Can your friends tell that you are different from them in your alcohol consumption?

ORGIES & DRINKING PARTIES. Now this is one we can cross off without any worry, right? None of us would ever participate in orgies or drinking parties, right?  No, but they sure are fun to watch on Game of Thrones aren’t they?  And that Spartacus remake is a lot of fun, too.  I’d never have an orgy, but I've got to make sure I re-up my subscriptions to HBO and Showtime!

LAWLESS IDOLATRIES. Now, we don’t have anyone bowing down to Baal, but idolatry is more than worshipping idols.  It is putting anything ahead of God or my service to Him.  I was thinking about the rich young ruler to whom Jesus said that he only lacked one thing: to sell his possessions and follow Jesus.  He went away sorrowful.  I started wondering about my reaction if Jesus ever came to me and said I had to give up college football permanently.  For you, maybe the challenge would come if He demanded you give up your fishing boat, or your golf clubs.  Whatever our sticking point might be, we can’t allow anything to get between us and God.  Otherwise, we are guilty of lawless idolatries.

Peter doesn’t mention all the ways we should be different from the world, of course.  Paul, in Eph. 4:29, tells us to “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths”.  Corrupt, or corrupting, talk comes in many varieties.  There is cursing and vulgarity, of course.  One thought on that: there are no such things as words that are bad in and of themselves.  The typical four letter words are generally considered bad because they are usually used for cursing and/or vulgar purposes, but I can express the exact same evil sentiments using other, more acceptable words.  Are my evil sentiments less sinful because I changed my vocabulary?  Can people tell we are different by the ideas we express in our speech?

Then there is taking the Lord’s Name in vain.  Surely that is corrupt speech, and it is common in the world.  Our Lord’s Name is now mostly used as a curse or expletive.  “God” is mostly used now in sentences like “Oh my God, that restaurant was really good!”  Can anyone tell that we never besmirch His Name and that we often wince when others do? Or do we talk like the world?

The final thing I’m going to bring up in reference to us being a people for God’s own possession is our life’s priorities. Have I ever denied myself something that was good and right to do because there were more urgent duties that God demanded? When I make career choices, do I consider what God would want me to do? Am I willing to part ways with worldly friends who are not good for my spiritual walk with God? Am I truly one of His people, or am I living in the world?

When thinking about these things, try to be as honest as possible with yourself.  One of the hardest things to do is to objectively evaluate yourself.  I once heard a preacher say that man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal.  Part of being a Christian is testing ourselves, to see if we are in the faith (2 Cor. 13:5).  Try to view yourself as an outsider looking at a stranger.  And then work to make the needed improvements.

We are to be God’s own people.

Can anyone tell?

Lucas Ward

Part 3 in the series by guest writer Keith Ward.  The other 2 parts can be found in the archives on Jan 30, 2019, and Dec 31, 2018, always the last Monday of the month.

Paul addresses the issue of yieldingness in this sequence: wives, husbands, children, fathers, servants, masters (Eph 5:21-6:9).   No one has the right of way.   Peter's list is shorter:  servants, wives, husbands (1Pet 2:18-3:7).   But, Peter adds an intensifier to both the command to the wife and that to the husband, "In the same way."  Our first question must be, "In the same way as what?"

If you have read the text quoted at the end of each of the devotionals in this series and noticed the emphasis, you know that a wife is to submit to her husband just as the servant is to submit to the unreasonable master and consequently, the husband is to live with the wife in an understanding way and honor her in the same manner as the wife and servant perform their obligations—whether she is good or bad, sweet or a terror. 

The older translations say that the servant must be in subjection not only to the good and gentle master, but also to the "froward."  A strange word that really underlines the extent of one's subjection.   Satan answered God that he had been "going to and fro in the earth" (Job 1:7 KJV).   I have been blessed with supervisors who were "to-ward" me and getting the job done.  I have been cursed with a few that were opposite or "fro-ward" in their attitude about me.   My obligation before God to both types is to submit.   We men tend to find this much easier to accept in 1Pet 3:1 than we do in 1Pet 3:7.   We wish to exercise our headship and cause her to conform to our desires.   Instead, we must use our headship to yield in a way that will draw her in toward becoming the wife God wants her to be.  Remember the last lesson, God never told the husband that he was the head of the wife.   He commanded the husband to love the wife. 

God's instructions through Peter are to "dwell with your wives according to knowledge."  That is without question the hardest command in the Bible.   Numberless jokes have been told about the difficulty of understanding women, but for God this is no joke.   He expects the husband to work at it until he understands his wife.   Our biblical examples of married life are few: clueless Elkanah who was unaware of or ignored the tensions in his own house (1Sam 1:8); Jacob who did not realize that Leah was the godly wife until the later years of their marriage (Gen 49:31); David who cut through Michal's complaint to the contempt in her heart (2Sam 6:16).  We are left to make our subjection to the needs of our woman into the concrete examples of God's principles.

We cannot treat this as a minor matter.   If we fail to honor our wives as this verse commands, our prayers will be hindered.   I NEED my prayers for forgiveness to get through loud and clear.   No doubt we already understand that women are different and what would honor one man's wife would not be a blip on the radar for another's wife.   If this makes no sense to you, read "The Five Love Languages" 3 times, the last one with your wife, chapter by chapter with discussion between you about every page.   Men, we must consider our woman and her personality and her character with a view to helping her as the weaker vessel, with the goal of her salvation.   And, our own salvation depends on our ability to do so.   (Unless you think you can make it without prayer!)

Just as being a help to you will be different for your wife than had she married a man in a different profession with a different personality, dwelling with her according to knowledge is unique to you two.   When we consider all that Christ did for his bride, we should at the least be willing to read books to learn about women and to learn to improve our relationship.   We should learn to do things we are not comfortable with for her.   We should meditate on her emotional needs and ways to adjust to fulfil them.   Above all, we should listen.  And, if this seems too great a task, remember, "Subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ (Eph 5:21).

Some men only notice when their wives start screaming and crying and throwing pots and pans.   Then they are shocked for they had no clue there was a problem.   If the wife is too godly to act that way, the husband continues in a clueless way grinding her spirit to nothing.   How can a man claim to follow the Savior who became one of us in order to intercede for us, yet not listen to his bride?  If God purposed the church to be Christ's bride before creation, should not each man be gathering data and purposing to create in his wife the parallel to the Church (Eph 3:10-11)?  Is not the goal to become one, and can that be accomplished without mutual effort?  What if Jesus listened to our prayers the way we notice our wives' problems, complaints, and desires?  In fact, 1 Pet 3:7 promises exactly that! 

Jesus gave himself up to set apart the church to be a present for himself (Eph 5:25-27).   His mission was to cleanse the church to be without spot and blemish, a holy bride to himself.   To accomplish this he first became whatever it took on his part, servant, flesh, human (Phil 2, Jn 1).   Then he began to shape the church: he did not browbeat or demand; he washed her with water and the word.   He thoughtfully fashioned words that would transform her into the present he desired for himself.   God through Paul commands husbands to do the same for their wives. 

If husbands believe their role is merely to be the provider, they are carnal, having little spiritual understanding.   Physically providing food and shelter is the least of his duties.   Giving honor to her as the weaker vessel means to work with her spiritually to build her up to walk beside her husband spiritually.   He must know her spiritual and emotional weaknesses and help strengthen her and protect her as "heirs with you of the grace of life."  He must meditate and thoughtfully fashion words that will transform her into the present to himself that he wishes her to be.   He cannot do this with force but only with the same self-sacrificing kind of love Christ used to transform the church.

It is a shame on husbands that in many (if not most) families, it is the wife who is the spiritual leader: she helps the children with their Bible lessons, she makes certain all are ready for church on time, she insists that nothing interfere with church, she reminds him that he has a certain duty this Sunday so he can prepare.   He simply attends.    Such a one is not a head like Jesus is head, no matter how bossy he is.   [Ignoring these duties to preach and teach the gospel is no less carnal than failing them for other reasons.]

That ceremony did not make you a husband.   However many years "on the job" has not made you a husband either.   Only the considered imitation of the love of Christ for the church will make you the husband of your wife. 
 
Dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto the woman…as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life. (1 Pet 3:7)

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.  (1Pet 2:18).

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.  (1Pet 3:7).

Keith Ward
 

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.
 
On my tenth birthday, my parents gave me The Complete Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales. I’ve always been a bookworm. I can’t claim to have read every single tale in the book, but I did read a great deal. There is one that I vaguely recall, in which a king needed some great thing to be accomplished, the Roc’s Egg brought back to him or some such. He decreed that anyone who did this would be given his daughter’s hand in marriage. A peasant boy who had always dreamed of marrying the princess, undertook the quest. He braved mystic forests and foreboding mountains, fought ogres and elves, and returned, having been successful. He married the princess and became the hero of the kingdom.

Stories like this pervade most, if not all, cultures. Heracles went mad one night and killed his wife and children. Regaining his senses and overcome with grief, he undertook his famous 12 Labors to try to win redemption. Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table spent their lives looking for the Holy Grail. The Asian cultures also have their stories of quests and epic feats in the search of riches or immortality or redemption. Our culture is not without such stories: to save Middle Earth, Frodo goes on a long quest to return the One Ring to Mount Doom. Again and again, great treasures require monumental feats to acquire.

This teaches us good things. Get rich quick schemes rarely, if ever, work. If we want to accomplish something in this life, we have to put in the work, the effort, and the time to achieve it. However, this reinforced belief does leave us suspicious of any easy answer and that sometimes is a detriment.

The Bible contains a story about this. The first half of II Kings 5 will be our text. The first verse:

“Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the LORD had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper.”

Who was Naaman? He was the general of the Syrian armies. He was very well thought of by the king. He was a “mighty man of valor”. This was an important man, a proud man, a celebrity and hero in his country. He was SOMEBODY. But he had leprosy. Leprosy in the ancient Middle East was probably not the flesh rotting disease known in Middle Ages Europe. It was a skin disease that made the skin white and scaly. Often, it caused odors. Basically, it made the sufferer look, and even smell, like a corpse. Under the Law of Moses, lepers were to be quarantined away from the general population, but even in countries that did not follow the Mosaic Law, lepers were generally shunned and became secluded. Naaman, a proud man in a public career, was looking at losing all he had because of this disease. Do you think he was desperate for a cure? I imagine that he had tried every potion offered by every quack in Syria. To no avail. Keep reading with me:

“Now the Syrians on one of their raids had carried off a little girl from the land of Israel, and she worked in the service of Naaman's wife. She said to her mistress, "Would that my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria! He would cure him of his leprosy." So Naaman went in and told his lord, "Thus and so spoke the girl from the land of Israel." And the king of Syria said, "Go now, and I will send a letter to the king of Israel." So he went, taking with him ten talents of silver, six thousand shekels of gold, and ten changes of clothing.” (vs 2-5)

Can you feel the desperation here? This small child, prattling on like small children do, mentions the prophet in Israel and his God-given abilities. Seizing on this last hope, Naaman goes to the king for permission to enter Israel and, receiving it, takes a huge gift with him to entice the prophet into helping him. The size of this gift is instructive. Ten talents of silver is 30,000 shekels of silver, which tells you nothing until I explain that the average ANNUAL salary of a laborer at that time was 10 shekels of silver. The silver alone that Naaman brought was the equivalent of 3,000 years pay for a common man! Or, another way to look at it, the silver would have weighed 750 lbs in modern measure, and the gold 150 lbs. I haven’t checked the spot price today, but one fairly recent book estimates the value at $750 million in modern buying power. Plus, ten really nice suits of clothes. How badly did Naaman want to be clean? Look at what he was willing to pay!

After some confusion as to where to go, Naaman arrives at Elisha’s house in verse 9:

“So Naaman came with his horses and chariots and stood at the door of Elisha's house. And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored, and you shall be clean." But Naaman was angry and went away, saying, "Behold, I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper. Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?" So he turned and went away in a rage.” (vs 9-12)

Naaman, great man of Syria, mighty man of valor and general of the armies, comes to Elisha’s modest house and . . . Elisha doesn’t even bother to come out to see him. He sends a servant. That had to have punctured Naaman’s ego a bit and then the instructions given are just ridiculous. ‘If it was as easy as washing, don’t you think I’d have done that?!’ He had expected an impressive display, chanting and arm waving and hocus pocus. Instead he is told to wash in the Jordan. ‘Our Syrian rivers are better for washing than that muddy stream.’ He goes away angry precisely because the answer was too easy. If there is any doubt on that, read on:

“And his servants came near, and spoke unto him, and said, My father, if the prophet had bid you do some great thing, wouldn’t you have done it? how much rather then, when he says to you, Wash, and be clean? Then went he down, and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God; and his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.” (vs 13-14)

The servant points out that if a great feat had been prescribed, Naaman would have been all in for that. Remember what he was willing to pay; would there be anything he wouldn’t do? Imagine if Elisha had said ‘Bring me the heads of 100 lions’ or ‘Climb to the top of the tallest mountain’ and he’d be clean. You know that Naaman, mighty man of valor, would have been on his way with zest to complete such a quest. That wouldn’t have upset him at all. But washing was too easy. His servant finally convinced him that if he were willing to undertake the difficult thing, he ought to do the easy as well, and he washed and was cleaned.

Many people today make the same mistake Naaman almost did. We, too, have a problem. He had leprosy, we are disfigured by sin. Leprosy affects the body, sin rots the soul. If Naaman was willing to pay hundreds of millions of dollars and go on exotic quests to be rid of leprosy, what should we be willing to do to be rid of sin? It can’t be something easy, right? That thought is why many modern denominations teach that forgiveness isn’t something that we can reach, but that it takes the direct working of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit must overcome you and lead you to forgiveness. How do we know that has happened? We begin babbling in “tongues” or fall into the aisles in religious fervor. Surely it takes big things like that to be rid of sin, right? Well, what does the Bible say?

Rom 10:9 “because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Rom 10:14 “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?”

Combining these verses, we must hear the word taught, believe in our hearts that Jesus was raised from the dead, and be willing to confess Him as Lord. What’s interesting is that we have an example of people just like that in Acts 2. They had heard the Gospel preached by Peter, including that Jesus had been raised from the dead – vs 32 “This Jesus God raised up, and of that we all are witnesses.” – and that He was Lord – vs. 36 “Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.” They believed, being pricked in the heart (vs 37) and asked Peter what they should do. His answer? “And Peter said to them, ‘Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.’”

Understanding all of this, then, means that we must hear the word preached and believe it. Believe in our hearts the gospel of the resurrection and be willing to confess Him as Lord. Then we repent of our sins and are baptized for the remission of those sins and we will be saved, have our sins removed, and receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. There is no mention of the Holy Spirit overwhelming us or of babbling in “tongues” or religious frenzies. It is much simpler than that. Too simple, in fact, for many people to believe in it. Like Naaman, they turn away.

But having achieved so great a salvation from so merciful and loving a God, how are we to worship Him? Surely so great a God demands extravagant, awe-inspiring worship. We need rock-and-roll bands combined with shouting, dancing, and rolling in the aisles, right? Or perhaps we need to build monumental temples to Him filled with statuary and decorated by beautiful artworks in which imposing priests in impressive robes conduct ancient rites in a dead language? Again, our great God deserves such impressive worship, right? Well, what does the Bible say?

Col. 3:16 We are to sing praises to Him and teaching to each other.
1 Tim. 4:13 We are to teach and preach God’s word.
Eph. 6:18, 1 Thess. 5:17 We are to pray.
1 Cor. 11:23-25, Acts 20:7, We are to partake in His supper on the first day of the week.
1 Cor. 16:1-2 On the first day of the week we are to take up a collection.

And that’s it. It is simple. Too simple for some to accept, but we don’t apologize for the simplicity of our worship to God because it is precisely what He asked us to do.

Paul warns us in 1 Cor. 1:21-23 that many will be turned away by the simplicity of the Gospel and the teaching of the New Testament. Like Naaman almost was, these will be turned off because it is just too easy. They can’t grasp that something so great can be achieved in such a simple manner. So they turn away.

Don’t be like them. For once, take the easy way out.

Lucas Ward

In Matt 18, Jesus says “So also shall my heavenly Father do unto you if you forgive not”

The “so also” means in exactly this way.

So now go look at the comparison. The king forgave the servant who owed a large debt (vs27). Then when that servant was unforgiving toward another servant over a small debt, the king reminded him “I forgave you…should you not have forgiven.” (32) Then the king delivered him to the tormenters TILL HE SHOULD PAY ALL THAT WAS DUE.” (34). In other words, the king unforgave the debt!

“So also shall your heavenly Father do to you if you forgive not.” How do you read it --

 Can God Unforgive sins? Does he??  

Keith Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

James 4:4 “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

From the context, it is unlikely that James is accusing these people of literal adultery. Instead, the concept is that our relationship with God is similar to marriage and if we turn from Him, we are similar to adulteresses, which is the term older translations use instead of adulterous people.

There are many places we can go to show that the relationship between God and His people is closely akin to marriage. Eph. 5, for instance, discusses the marriage relationship and then says “This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church.” (vs. 32). Everything he was saying about the relationship between husbands and wives relates to Christ and the Church. The general concept of the union between God and His people is much older. E.g. Isa. 54:5 “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” and Jer. 2:2 "Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem, Thus says the LORD, "I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride” and Jer. 31:32 “not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD”. So, the covenant relationship between God and His people is like a marriage, and when His people break the covenant it hurts God like a husband would be hurt if his wife was cheating. That exact comparison is used throughout the prophets to describe God’s yearning for His people and eventually His vengeful wrath. Nowhere is it brought out as vividly as in Hosea.

Hosea was told to marry a woman who would cheat on him. It became obvious that she was doing exactly that: his last son is named “not mine”. She leaves him, seems to become a practicing whore, and he has to buy her back. Hosea’s pain in dealing with this was illustrative of God’s pain in dealing with the nation of Israel and his preaching combines pathos, anger, and love in a unique way. When we think of the adultery of Israel we usually think of them going after other gods rather than Jehovah (or Yahweh if you prefer). Hosea shows us that there are a lot more ways to cheat on God than just idolatry. That list is where I want to spend some time.

Of course, Hosea starts with the idolatry. Hosea 2:13 & 4:12 “And I will punish her for the feast days of the Baals when she burned offerings to them and adorned herself with her ring and jewelry, and went after her lovers and forgot me, declares the LORD. . . My people inquire of a piece of wood, and their walking staff gives them oracles. For a spirit of whoredom has led them astray, and they have left their God to play the whore”. If instead of worshipping your God, you go after other gods, what can it be called than cheating? Is there anything I put ahead of God? Anything I worship more than I worship Him?

God was also angry that Israel did not trust Him to protect them, making alliances with foreign kingdoms. Hosea 5:13 & 7:11-13a “When Ephraim saw his sickness, and Judah his wound, then Ephraim went to Assyria, and sent to the great king. But he is not able to cure you or heal your wound. . . Ephraim is like a dove, silly and without sense, calling to Egypt, going to Assyria. As they go, I will spread over them my net; I will bring them down like birds of the heavens; I will discipline them according to the report made to their congregation. Woe to them, for they have strayed from me!” When the nation saw it was in danger of conquest, they didn’t turn to God. They asked every other powerful nation nearby for assistance. Men, just how emasculated would you feel if you found out your wife trusted your neighbor for security more than she trusted you? Isn’t that a type of betrayal? Do I rely on anything other than God’s blessings? Modern medicine is great, but is my faith in my doctor greater than my faith in God? Do I trust the weatherman more than God? Do I rely on anything more than God?

In the context of His people being adulteresses, God rebukes Israel for relying on their own strength instead of relying on Him. Hosea 8:14 “For Israel has forgotten his Maker and built palaces, and Judah has multiplied fortified cities; so I will send a fire upon his cities, and it shall devour her strongholds.” Israel was rich and Judah well fortified. They would be just fine. They didn’t need God! God promises to show them differently. This is one we can easily relate to. We are told to build up 401ks and Roth IRAs and if we do so we will be secure in our retirement years because of our wealth. Really? Do I trust in God or wealth? We should, of course, be good stewards of the blessings God gives us, but what do I rely on, wealth or God? Do I think I am smart enough, strong enough or determined enough to handle life on my own, or am I willing to humble myself before God? Self-reliance is a failure to rely on God. That lack of trust, God considers adultery.

God also reprimands Israel for associating too closely with worldly people. Hos 7:8-9a “Ephraim mixes himself with the peoples; Ephraim is a cake not turned. Strangers devour his strength”. Not only is Israel breaking the Law by this mixing with Gentiles, but doing so drains away the nation’s strength. God has never been in favor of the close association of His people with the people of the world because of that draining effect. Too much time spent with worldly people inures us to their sin. We don’t even notice anymore the things that used to make us gasp. We slowly drift away from God. A wife who slowly drifts from her husband often finds herself in adulterous situations. God is not pleased when His people do this.

At base, adultery is the breaking of a promise. In wedding ceremonies husbands and wives vow themselves to each other. Wedding vows involve more than just not sleeping with other people. We stay together, support each other, don’t let life’s bumps force us apart. There are many ways to break these wedding vows. Similarly, God’s covenant with His people involves more than just not worshipping other gods and He feels that any breaking of the covenant is adulterous. Hosea 4:1-3 “Hear the word of the LORD, O children of Israel, for the LORD has a controversy with the inhabitants of the land. There is no faithfulness or steadfast love, and no knowledge of God in the land; there is swearing, lying, murder, stealing, and committing adultery; they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed. Therefore the land mourns, and all who dwell in it languish, and also the beasts of the field and the birds of the heavens, and even the fish of the sea are taken away.” All these sins of the people constituted breaking the Law that God had given them. They had vowed to follow His Law as part of the covenant (Ex. 24) and they were breaking their vow.

God continues His lament in Hosea 6:6-10 “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. But like Adam they transgressed the covenant; there they dealt faithlessly with me. Gilead is a city of evildoers, tracked with blood. As robbers lie in wait for a man, so the priests band together; they murder on the way to Shechem; they commit villainy. In the house of Israel I have seen a horrible thing; Ephraim's whoredom is there; Israel is defiled.” Here the sins of the people are clearly called whoredom. Whenever we sin against God, we are breaking our covenant with Him and, in essence, committing adultery.

Hosea 8:1-5 “Set the trumpet to your lips! One like a vulture is over the house of the LORD, because they have transgressed my covenant and rebelled against my law. To me they cry, "My God, we—Israel—know you." Israel has spurned the good; the enemy shall pursue him. They made kings, but not through me. They set up princes, but I knew it not. With their silver and gold they made idols for their own destruction. I have spurned your calf, O Samaria. My anger burns against them. How long will they be incapable of innocence?”

Lucas Ward

Guest writer Keith Ward begins a series for husbands, which will run the last Monday of the month for the next few months.
 
For some years it has amazed me that from a section of 397 words (ASV) concerning subjection, preaching and teaching has focused on the 65 words addressed to "Wives be in subjection to your own husbands" while only cursory attention has been given to the 332 other words on submission and even less to the 220 words addressed to husbands (Eph 5:21-6:9).  Notice that the Holy Spirit spoke almost 4 times as many words to the men about their duties as husbands as he did to the wives about theirs. Further, He simply states the duty of the wives but understands the necessity of enforcing by strong analogies to Christ and the church and loving oneself the husband's duties toward the wives. Comparison of the history of the amount of teaching done on the two sets of duties shows that we men missed the message.

The section opens by commanding us all to "Subject[ing] yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ." Then God specifies the subjection of wives and husbands, children and fathers, and servants and masters. Some years ago in a small group meeting from church, I compared Christianity to traffic circles—No one has the right-of-way.  Unlike 4-way stops where the laws specify who has the right of way, traffic circles have yield signs at every entrance; NO ONE has the right of way.  So also does this section on subjection. (SHE "borrowed" the traffic circle idea for her own devo). In every one of the six relationships listed in the section, the command is to submit, not to control.

Let us note that in the other relationships discussed, the children are to obey their parents, but that does not make the fathers the boss. Rather, fathers are to "provoke not" and "nurture" them.  Slaves are to obey masters but masters are to treat slaves as they expect the Lord to treat them.  So, just where did we find in the expression that the husband is the head of the wife the concept that he is boss and Lord of the house?  Certainly we left the clearly written spirit of the context to discover it.

Considering the attitudes of our times, women do need the lessons on submission that the Holy Spirit teaches here. In fact, I must emphasize that God is speaking for so many accuse Paul of just being a misogynist bachelor. But, I see nothing in this text or any other that instructs men to force their wives into submission.

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church; husbands are to give themselves up for their wives as Christ did for the church; husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies; husbands are to feed and warm their wives; husbands are to leave all others for their wives.  This is the headship that God commands the husbands to exercise toward their wives.  Just which of those sounds like control?

Over the next lessons, we will examine some practical ways husbands can follow Jesus' example in their relationship as head of their wives. The teachings and suggestions will not be exhaustive, but they should give the man with a willing heart enough to be able to adapt them to his wife and their situation.
 
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18).
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).

Keith Ward