Part 2 in a continuing series by guest writer Keith Ward.  For Part 1, scroll down to July 31, 2026.

I have always known these principles: I memorized Ephesians for Homer Hailey's "Scheme of Redemption" class; I took Roland Lewis's "Home and Family" class; I preached sermons; I wrote the goals and objectives for the men when our church divided the men and women for family classes; with Dene's assistance, I taught marriage and parenting classes to both the High School and College age classes. So, WHY did I find myself riding my bicycle 13 miles home from work as slowly as possible because I did not know what to say or do about a situation between us?  I did not even know for sure whose fault it was or how to proceed to find out without creating a bigger problem.  Well, I did manage that, I was so late she worried and came looking for me. So, "Knowledge puffs up."  And, the answers are not always easy and there is a learning curve on applying what you know.

It might help us to note that God never said to the husbands that they are the head.  He said that to the wives.  It seems like a small distinction but the difference it creates in perspective has caused chasms in relationships for hundreds of years.  In fact, that small difference often leads to a domineering attitude in husbands that is foreign to the context of "subjecting [our]selves one to another," and especially to the first command to husbands, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it."

To understand our role as husbands, we men must consider that Christ was head, though he only gave—gave himself up over and over again.  And he did so without complaint or resentment.  First, he gave up his place with and equal with God to become a man.  A fact we treat as a theological argument rather than the tremendous yielding (emptying self) that it was (Phil 2:5-7).  The creator became a creature.  Next, he walked through a world of sin.  Sometimes city people cannot stand the sights and smells of real farm life.  Anyone who has gathered eggs knows they do not come as clean as they do in the grocery store carton.  Imagine the disgust an absolutely holy being would have toward rebellious, self-destructive sin.  And, he walked among and had compassion toward these sinners.  Last, he died and in dying became sin on our behalf (2 Cor 5:21).  At no point did or does this one who is "far above all rule, and authority, and power, and dominion, and every name that is named" in his role as head of the church coerce anyone to do anything (Eph 1:21).  He wooed his people to him by giving himself up.

When men discuss this, they end the matter with, "I would be willing to die for my wife. Next verse, brother ________."  Whoa!  Back up just a bit—Is dying all that Jesus did for us? 

The Word gave up who he was and became someone else, Jesus, for his bride.   Unscripturally, many men not only do not change when they become husbands, they see no need to change.  Jesus' example leaves no wiggle room at all for the husband about his willingness to change for his wife.  And, remember, Jesus did it before his bride subjected herself and as a motive to lead her to do so.  "That's just not who I am and she knew that when she married me," is not a valid excuse.  A man determined to belong to God must consider the changes he needs to make to be the head of his wife.  Not only may different women have different needs, but the same woman will have changing needs as life progresses.  That means the husband imitating Christ cannot stay the same either.  "But what about my rights as head?"  Go consider: What about Jesus' rights? No man ever had more power than Jesus. Yet, he never used any of it to get his way about anything. Even so ought husbands to act toward their wives.

Since "head" is the way the wife is commanded to treat him and not a license for the husband to boss, he should give himself up by working to develop mutual decisions and plans. He must show consideration for her ideas and her desires by listening to her as equal partners in your life before God. In fact, imitating Christ may require him to give up his desires, his way for hers.

A man may cling to his rights and privileges. But, a husband may give up his hobbies, his plans, his buddies, his dreams to demonstrate his love for his bride.  He must not wait until she asks or cries about his neglect; he must wisely consider and use his power to act on her behalf by yielding. When she sees that he loves her so, she will submit joyfully and change into the help suitable for him so that they two become one in heart.

Elkanah gave up his right to overturn Hannah's vow, gave up his son, gave up a bull for a sacrifice (1Sam 1; Num 30:12).  God says that "the husband has not power over his own body, but the wife" (1Cor 7:4).  If a husband cannot be boss over his own body, why would he be boss over his time?  His preferences?  His habits?  His only goal as God's man is to give himself up with purpose to shape her into God's woman.

Approximately half the population is men; many are married, few are husbands.  Are you even on the journey to becoming one?

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18).

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).

Keith Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

Last time we began a discussion about how hard it is to bear burdens when no one admits to being weighed down or to pray for sins when no one admits to weaknesses (Gal. 6:2; James 5:16).  We discussed fear as a reason for that unwillingness to admit struggles and concluded that a proper show of love was the solution to that problem.

 This time I want to consider pride as a problem.  Specifically, pride in our religious status.  Jesus dealt with this problem constantly in His encounters with the Pharisees and Chief Priests.  E.g. “They replied to him, "We are Abraham's descendants and have never been slaves to anybody. So how can you say, 'You will be set free?’” (John 8:33)  Their reliance upon their status within their religious system – by that time somewhat different from what God had given them on Sinai – did not allow them to understand what Jesus said.  Also,  “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes, and love greetings in the marketplaces and the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at feast” (Luke 20:26).  People with this much pride in their status within their religion could never admit to a burden they couldn’t bear or sins they couldn’t overcome.  They never would ask for help.

 In fact, this pride is what led these people to killing Jesus and, later, persecuting Christians.  “If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.” (John 11:48)  Which do you think they minded more, that the people would believe in Jesus rather than them or that the Romans might come?  Even their fear of the Romans was based upon them loosing their place!  Acts 5:17-18 says that the High Priest had the Apostles arrested because of his jealousy.  They were hardly alone in the N.T.  2 Cor. 11:13 speaks of people claiming apostle status.  1 Cor. 12-14 deals with status claims based on how cool their various spiritual gifts were.  John 12:42-43 shows how this type of pride will keep us away from Christ.  It was so bad that Paul began mocking the pride in status by bragging himself, tongue firmly planted in cheek:  2 Cor. 11:21-23  “But whatever anyone else dares to boast of—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast of that.  Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they offspring of Abraham? So am I.  Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman—with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death.”

 Unfortunately, we haven’t left this type of pride in the Twenty-First Century.  Whether it is pride in who our family is, pride in institutional affiliation, or pride in the type of service we perform for the church, too many of us build our egos upon our supposed status within our religion.  We can’t risk that status by admitting to weaknesses, too heavy weights, or sadness.  Allow me to illustrate by being silly in the same way Paul was, just in more modern terms:  I was not only raised in the church, I was raised in the church by parents who were also raised in the church.  All four grand-parents were members, all of whom knew their Bibles backwards and forwards.  My father has been a preacher/deacon/elder for 50 years and my mother has taught Ladies’ Bible Classes, and written their study materials, for as long.  One grandfather was in the first class at Florida College, my parents both graduated from there (Dad with his Bible certificate), my brother and I both graduated from FC, and my brother is a professor of Biblical studies there.  I myself have been a preacher for over six years, have written a Christian self-help book and have had essays published in two other anthologies. 

All this sounds pretty impressive, but what does it get me?  None of those religious status symbols will save me.  Claiming affiliation with Florida College will not help when I stand before the Lord on the last day, nor will years of preaching or the number of books published. (Matt. 7:22-23).  None of these things will protect me from temptations.  Remember when Jesus said that our righteousness must be greater than those prideful Pharisees? (Matt. 5:20)  He went on to elaborate by speaking of runaway anger and lust, lying, vengeance and hatred.  All their status did not keep them from temptation and sin. 

Prov. 11:2  “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” 

Prov. 29:23  “One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.” 

Ultimately, if my pride keeps me from asking for help when I need it, then my pride is harming me and will lead to destruction. 

John 12:42-43  “Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, so that they would not be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.”

Lucas Ward

(The reason I am writing this.)

Guest writer Keith Ward begins a series for husbands, which will run the last Monday of the month for the next few months.

For some years it has amazed me that from a section of 397 words (ASV) concerning subjection, preaching and teaching has focused on the 65 words addressed to "Wives be in subjection to your own husbands" while only cursory attention has been given to the 332 other words on submission and even less to the 220 words addressed to husbands (Eph 5:21-6:9).  Notice that the Holy Spirit spoke almost 4 times as many words to the men about their duties as husbands as he did to the wives about theirs. Further, He simply states the duty of the wives but understands the necessity of enforcing by strong analogies to Christ and the church and loving oneself the husband's duties toward the wives. Comparison of the history of the amount of teaching done on the two sets of duties shows that we men missed the message.

The section opens by commanding us all to "Subject[ing] yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ." Then God specifies the subjection of wives and husbands, children and fathers, and servants and masters. Some years ago in a small group meeting from church, I compared Christianity to traffic circles—No one has the right-of-way.  Unlike 4-way stops where the laws specify who has the right of way, traffic circles have yield signs at every entrance; NO ONE has the right of way. So also does this section on subjection. In every one of the six relationships listed in the section, the command is to submit, not to control.

Let us note that in the other relationships discussed, the children are to obey their parents, but that does not make the fathers the boss. Rather, fathers are to "provoke not" and "nurture" them.  Slaves are to obey masters but masters are to treat slaves as they expect the Lord to treat them.  So, just where did we find in the expression that the husband is the head of the wife the concept that he is boss and Lord of the house?  Certainly we left the clearly written spirit of the context to discover it.

Considering the attitudes of our times, women do need the lessons on submission that the Holy Spirit teaches here. In fact, I must emphasize that God is speaking for so many accuse Paul of just being a misogynist bachelor. But, I see nothing in this text or any other that instructs men to force their wives into submission.

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church; husbands are to give themselves up for their wives as Christ did for the church; husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies; husbands are to feed and warm their wives; husbands are to leave all others for their wives.  This is the headship that God commands the husbands to exercise toward their wives.  Just which of those sounds like control?

Over the next lessons, we will examine some practical ways husbands can follow Jesus' example in their relationship as head of their wives. The teachings and suggestions will not be exhaustive, but they should give the man with a willing heart enough to be able to adapt them to his wife and their situation.

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. (1Pet 2:18).

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, (1Pet 3:1).

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7).

Keith Ward

Today’s post is by guest writer Joanne Beckley.

Psalm 34:11 Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

12 Who is the man who desires life, And loves [length of] days that he may see good?

13 Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit.

14 Depart from evil, and do good; Seek peace, and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous, And His ears are [open] to their cry.

16 The face of the LORD is against evildoers, To cut off the memory of them from the

earth.

17 [The righteous] cry and the LORD hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.

18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous; But the LORD delivers him out of them all.

Psalm 34:11 tells us that to fear the Lord is to live a godly life. We know this because the

psalmist tells us specifically what we must learn that will prove what it means to fear the

Lord! These verses are like a recipe for life, for a long life, for a good life. Details are not

given but there are two points necessary for this godly life – the fear of the Lord. They are

(1) right speech (v13) and (2) right conduct (v14). Until a person has made this his aim

and goal, he has not learned “the fear of the LORD.”

From these verses, we also learn that there is third point necessary to help achieve the fear

of the Lord: (3) seek peace and pursue it (v14). Thus, one’s attitude in life comes into

play and must also be addressed. By controlling our tongues and doing good we learn to

live at peace with ourselves, with others, and with God. Indeed, there is no other way to

peace except through the right heart. “Righteousness and peace kiss each other” (Ps

85:10).

Verse 15 addresses how we are to achieve peace because living a righteous life must

include the right attitude toward any sin residing in our hearts. In verse 15, the favor of

God rests upon the righteous, the brokenhearted, and the crushed in spirit. (See also Psa

51:17; 145:18; Isa 57:15; 61:1; 66:2)

The psalmist rounded out his advice and admonitions with this: we must be willing to

accept that when we trust in God we are not shielded from all troubles.

v19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.

God is with us during crisis situations. What a blessing!

Eric Liddell (remember the winning runner in the movie Chariots of Fire?), in his last

years in China as a missionary, was incarcerated and did not know what his fate would

be. While awaiting his end he wrote these words to Chinese Christians:

“Victory over all the circumstances of life comes not by might nor by power but by a

practical confidence in life and by allowing His spirit to dwell in our hearts and control

our actions and emotions. Learn in the days of ease and comfort so that when the days of

hardship come you will be fully prepared and equipped to meet them.”

James 1:2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3

knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have [its]

perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 5 But if any of

you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without

reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for

the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

The apostle Paul also wrote to expect trials in the life of a Christian and gave Timothy

this admonition:

2Tim 3:12And indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. 13

But evil men and impostors will proceed [from bad] to worse, deceiving and being

deceived. 14 You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become

convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned [them].

Ps 16:11 Thou wilt make known to me the path of life; In Thy presence is fulness of joy; In

Thy right hand there are pleasures forever.

As David said in his psalm, it is His presence that makes it possible to triumph in the

midst of trials.

Philippians 4:13I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

The New Testament tells us of the reality of deliverance beyond death. May we all

continue learning the fear of the Lord and live in His presence.

Joanne Beckley

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward, who begins a new series below.

 You might be surprised at which ones I am choosing:

Rom. 12:15  “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

Gal. 6:2  “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

James 5:16  “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another”

How can anyone pray for my sins if I am not willing to confess those sins?  How can anyone help bear my burdens if I am not willing to admit that anything weighs me down?  No one can weep with me if I refuse to tell them I am sad.  Conversely, I can’t do any of these things for others if no one will admit problems to me.  So, often, the problem is not that no one is willing to help, but that no one admits to needing help. 

 Why do you think that is?  I think it likely comes down to three things:  too much pride, not enough humility, and fear.  Too much pride in our supposed status within the church risks our reputations by admitting being human.  For instance, “God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.” (Luke 18:11)  This man never admitted that there ever was a burden, much less that he might need help carrying it.  Then there is too little humility because we are used to handling problems on our own.  Too much dignity, too much self-sufficiency (“I can handle it myself!), too much sense of identity to be willing to ask for help.  What did Jesus say about this?  ““If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”  (Luke 9:23)  Finally, there is fear.  The fear that if we open ourselves up to the church, admit our failings and weaknesses and ask for help, the other church members will be horrified.  They will reject and ostracize us, and so we keep quiet out for fear.

 I want to address this last problem first.  This fear of rejection comes from a misunderstanding of the purpose and nature of the Church and its members.  Yes, the New Testament consistently refers to active disciples of Christ as saints, or those sanctified (Rom. 1:7; 1 Cor. 1:2; 1 Pet. 1:15-16), but how did they become sanctified?  In Revelation 7, the innumerable host in heaven dressed in white robes are those washed in the blood of the Lamb.  In Isaiah 1:18 the Lord says, “though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”  We were all filthy in our sins and are only clean by the grace of the Lord.  We all have pasts.  A sister once said that the Church is like Sinners’ Anonymous.  That seems exactly right to me.  Just as A.A. won’t allow someone to bring a six-pack of beer to their meetings, the church cannot allow those who choose to continue a lifestyle of sin to be a part of the local body.  However, just like A.A. is a safe place to discuss struggles, doubts, and failures in a life of sobriety, and a place where we receive help and support from others who have walked the same path, the church should be a safe place to confess struggles, doubts, and failures to walk in the light, and to receive support and help from those who have and are walking the same path. 

 How do we convince people that our local families provide this kind of support, help and acceptance?  The answer is love.  The more obvious that each local congregation loves each other with a Biblical love, the more people will be willing to ask for help.  If we are loving well, remember we can always do better (1 Thess. 4:9-10).

1 Pet. 4:7-9  “But the end of all things is at hand: be therefore of sound mind, and be sober unto prayer:  above all things being fervent in your love among yourselves; for love covers a multitude of sins:  using hospitality one to another without murmuring”

 Peter says the most important thing to do to get ready for the end is to be fervent in our love for each other.  He then describes love as being hospitable. 

 Hospitality in the ancient days was taking in strangers who were traveling and stopped in your town.  It was considered an honor to be allowed to do this.  The self-sacrifice of hospitality was the basis for Job’s defense of his righteousness (Job 31).  According to the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia there were four major requirements for proper hospitality.  1)  The guest becomes the master of the house.  2)  The host performs the most servile offices for the guest.  3)  The guest is given access to all the host owns.  4)  The host is duty-bound to protect the guest from all dangers.  Peter says to be hospitable to each other.  So we are to adapt the principles of hospitality to our brothers and sisters in Christ.  So, according to the first requirement, all of my brethren are my masters.  They are the priority.  If they need help, I drop what I’m doing and help.  Oddly, there are others passages that support this:  Gal. 5:13“through love be servants one to another.” and Phil. 2:4“Do not be concerned about your own interests, but also be concerned about the interests of others.”  The second principle of the host performing menial service for the guest was demonstrated by our Lord when He washed the Apostles’ feet.  Afterwards, He said, “You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right because that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you must also wash one another's feet.” (John 13:13-14)  To sum that up, there should be nothing my brother might need from me that I am too important to do.  We also don’t hold anything back from our brethren in need.  1 John 3:16 says we should be willing to die for each other and Rom. 8:32 says that God, having sacrificed His Son for us, would hold nothing else back.  Combining those two principles, if we are willing to die for our brethren, is there anything else they might need that we would withhold?  Finally, we protect each other from all dangers, especially that roaring lion looking to devour us.  We help. We hold. We cry. We pray.  The better we get at these things, the more obvious it becomes that we won’t reject those confessing a need for help.  That gives us even more opportunities to show the love God taught us (1 John 4:19) and makes it easier for those with heavy burdens to ask for help.  And we become the family God always wanted us to be.

Lucas Ward

Guest Writer Christ versus Culture -- Ed Harrell

Christianity Magazine, June 1988, p. 11

Reinhold Neibuhr, along with others, argued that all religion tends to be captured by its culture. Rather than standing in judgment of the world around them, most religious people find ways to give divine sanction to their society.

I have no difficulty in seeing that in others. Having spent a lifetime being a religious historian, it is all too obvious to me that the religious beliefs of most people are thinly veiled rationalizations for their conduct rather than a transforming influence upon it. While I see that in others, I fear it in me.

The challenge of the Christian calling, as I have frequently written before, is to be in but not “of the world.” Jesus did not ask His disciples to withdraw into asceticism; rather He sent them to be a leavening influence in a wicked world. The result of this calling can work revolutionary experiences in individual lives.

Yet, in the midst of revolutionary life experiences, Christians are not revolutionaries….Christians are meek and peaceful citizens and inoffensive and helpful neighbors. But there must be a prophetic potential in our lives. We are subject to a “higher law.” We must be prepared to stand against the crowd, to be viewed as odd, to be characterized as threats to society.

The extent of a Christian’s alienation from society has often led to doctrinal debates among believers. Can Christians serve in the military and fight in wars? Can Christians pledge allegiance to the flag and take oaths? Those are legitimate and important questions… [as is] “Exactly how is it that I am to differ from those around me?” If the essence of my eccentricity is not in dress, or food, or the daily duties of citizens, then how is it that I am at odds with my culture? The answers have to do with thoughts and actions.

If we are to lift ourselves above the world, we will first have to purify our minds…to think about things that are pure and holy, to focus our minds on spiritual values rather than worldly possessions, and to learn to think wholesome thoughts in the midst of life’s trials and tribulations.

If your mind is filled with such righteous thoughts, your actions will reflect that… {as will] the language, behavior and worship that flows from the otherworldly mind of the Christian. It is those actions that make us identifiable—that put us at odds with our culture.

I have returned to this theme both because of its repetition in the Scriptures and because of a brooding fear that I fall into the same ease in my culture as those around me. Few themes in the Bible recur more often than the plaintive plea to “come out from among them, and be ye separate” (2 Corinthians 6:17).

And few things trouble me more than seeing churches filled with good people being sucked into the maelstrom of a decadent culture—listening to the world, reading its books, watching its television and swallowing its values. They go to church and I see them there. But their message has become “Christ and Culture.”

In the gravest terms I tell you—that cannot be. Let us purify our minds and walk circumspectly.

Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

Thunderstorms come and soak the dirt and the wind blows and the sweet corn is laid out flat or nearly so. The soil softened by the rains does not give shallow rooted corn much anchor to support its tall stalk so down it topples and some roots are exposed. The gardener must go down each row, stand each stalk, pull the mud and dirt up around it and pack it in or lose his harvest. Tedious to say the least, uncomfortable with the hot sun turning the world into a steam bath, but if the corn is to survive, the work must be done now. Visions of hot buttered roasting ears motivate him to the unpleasant task.

I thought of the corn one morning after reading, “A bruised reed he will not break,and a smoldering wick he will not quench,until he brings justice to victory” (Mt 12:20). Though we are blown over and bruised by sin, Jesus straightens us and props us back up to bear meager fruit for his kingdom. His motive? We are the joy that was set before him that caused him to endure the cross...to bring many sons to glory (Heb 12:2, 2:10). Looking within myself, I find little that seems worth so great a price. For, not only did he die for us, he bears with us, gently building us up to be strong and faithful. It gives gratification and motivation to realize the ongoing investment God made for me.

So, then, how do I view the weak brother? The sin damaged visitor? The ever needy couple who probably do not have the capacity to get much better? “Have this mind in you which was in Christ Jesus”...Do we? Or, do we wish only to convert nice middle or working class stable people that fit in with the rest of us? I once was told in the men’s business meeting that I was bringing the wrong class of people to church. I was too shocked to reply and no one else seemed to object at all. I soon found myself to be the wrong class of preacher too. Those Christians were the most bruised reeds of all.

I can testify that working with sputtering lamps and bruised reeds is brutal, thankless labor. One cannot think of himself at all. His life and breath and thought must all be for the bruised one. Opinions are locked away with frustration and personal desires. Ever, always, Jesus only lived to repair us. How can we but do the same for others?

“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, AND IN MY FLESH I AM FILLING UP WHAT IS LACKING IN CHRIST'S AFFLICTIONS FOR THE SAKE OF HIS BODY, THAT IS, THE CHURCH, of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. FOR THIS I TOIL, STRUGGLING WITH ALL HIS ENERGY THAT HE POWERFULLY WORKS WITHIN ME.” (Col 1:24-29).

Keith Ward

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

I don't like change.  Mom says I've been that way since I was a baby.  I liked the same books read, the same routines, the same songs sung; I found comfort in the normal.  That continued as I grew up.  I had opportunities to move to nicer apartments when I lived in Gainesville as my career moved forward, but I was comfortable where I was.  Honestly, a big reason I never married is because that would be too big a change.  It is not commitment that is scary, it is change.  When Mom and Dad moved from the home I grew up in, that they lived in for nearly 40 years, to a newer, better, bigger home nearer to their grand-kids and to medical care and with other benefits to them as well, it really shook me.  This big, tough man who won't admit when he is hurt or sick, riding a bike twelve miles with a fever or swimming with a shoulder so bad I can't lift my arm, this guy sat down and cried for over an hour.  In some ways, I still haven't forgiven them for leaving home, despite being happy for them for all the ways the new place is better.  I don't like change. 

This extends, of course, to church services and practices.  I have always preferred the two songs, prayer, song, Lord's Supper, song, sermon, song order of worship, twice on Sundays with Bible class beforehand in the morning.  Then the church I grew up in changed its service order.  Two worship services back to back in the morning, with Bible class crunched between and the services were ordered differently to boot.  No evening worship.  There is nothing scripturally wrong with such a thing.  The elders believed it would better serve the majority of the members.  I didn't like it; it was different.  Now my brother's family and my parents worship at a congregation that has a mid-afternoon service with none in the morning or evening.  Heresy!  And yet it is not, it is just different. (And I don't like it.)

All of this leads to 1 Cor. 9:19-22  "For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.  To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law.  To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law.  To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some."  When Paul mentions Jews and then those under the Law he is speaking of the same group, but it is best understood as cultural and religious.  When with Jews, Paul followed typical Jewish protocol and went through the motions of keeping the Mosaic Law. In Acts 21:18-26, Paul participates in offering a sacrifice at the Temple to placate Jewish Christians.  This is the same Paul who wrote in Galatians 5:4  "You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace."  But remember "not being myself under the law".  Paul never tried to be justified by the Law, but if he could reach more by going through the motions, he did. 

Then Paul discusses life among the Gentiles, "those outside the law".  Paul, who declared himself a Hebrew of Hebrews and a Pharisee (Phil. 3:5), would live as a Gentile.  He ate things sacrificed to idols (1 Cor. 10:27) in the homes of Gentiles, which Peter said was against Jewish law (Acts 10:28)  Do you think he kept the Sabbath while teaching in the school of Tyrannus?  There is no way to know for sure, but since he was teaching Gentiles in the school building of a Gentile I doubt it, especially in the light of 1 Cor. 9.  Can you imagine how hard this would have been for Paul?  Being raised to look down upon and scorn Gentiles, to keep the Law  above all other considerations except perhaps to keep the traditions of the elders which were held even higher than the law in the mind of some Pharisees.  For that man to live as though without law would have probably hurt, literally, in some psychological fashion.  Yet he lived that way, so he could teach more about Christ.  The key here is that he never left the law of Christ.  He gave up the Law of Moses and all Jewish traditions and customs, many of which must have been dear to him, to reach more people.  "That by all means I might save some." 

The Restoration mythos in the United States was "Where the Bible speaks, we speak.  Where the Bible is silent, we are silent."  As a whole what has become known as the Church of Christ is very good at speaking where the Bible speaks.  We teach the truth of the Lord's Gospel well.  What we fail at miserably is being silent where the Bible is silent. If the Bible says nothing at all about a topic, for or against, then we shouldn't be making rules about that topic.  We can have opinions, personal likes and dislikes, but we need to take care not to enforce personal preferences on others (Romans 14:1-10).  Ultimately, if Paul was willing to make himself very uncomfortable to have a better chance at preaching the Gospel to lost souls, shouldn't we be willing to change how-we've-always-done-it to have a better chance at preaching to lost souls?  (1 Cor. 11:1) 

The bottom line is most people you meet everyday are lost souls who will be damned to hell for eternity if we don't teach them the Gospel.  Are we willing to make ourselves uncomfortable to reach those souls?  Go to a religious Christmas party, without participating in erroneous worship, because it opens the door to speak of the Gospel.  Be willing to sing newer, more up beat hymns while also teaching why the old standards became old standards.  Be willing to change the order of worship/time of worship/types of services if it helps bring in sinners to hear the Gospel and better edifies the church, all while maintaining an orderly worship (1 Cor. 14:40).  I don't like change, but Jesus died to save these people.  Are we willing to be a little uncomfortable to teach them the Gospel?

 1 Cor. 9:22 ". . . that by all means I might save some."

 Lucas Ward

You may not be in this blessed situation, but I am confident you know someone who is. Please read through the following written by a godly grandmother and a dear friend of mine. Perhaps you will have occasion to share some of her information with someone who is in pain and feeling lost and alone. Joanne Beckley

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I know parenting my grandchildren is the hardest thing I have ever done! It is harder than raising my own children. I have had to raise my grandchildren with both parents in the home, with just my husband and myself and then with just me and my son. Each phase had challenges. In living through our situations and in talking to others who have had to raise their grandkids, I have learned a few things.

Each situation is different. Pretty basic but true. There isn't going to be a road map. We are living in a time when the number of grandparents raising grandkids is growing. It could be as simple as both parents having to work and needing free daycare, or as complicated as the heartbreak of sin crushing the family, but parents are being called upon to play the role of parents, round two. Satan knows our weaknesses and will have PLENTY of opportunities to test our faith no matter what the situation. Remember, whatever we are called upon to do, God will be with us IF we put Him first with any situation we are presented, and if the solution is based on the principles of God's word.

The first step is to PRAY! If you find yourself raising grandkids you need to pray often and pray specifically. Talking to God allows you to be honest and put order to your situation. If the home has been torn apart by sin there may be things happening behind the doors of your home you don't want to share with others, but God not only can carry the burden,  He wants to. Let your grandkids see you in quiet, personal prayer and let them hear you pray. Let them know you are praying for them and their situation and for strength from God to do good toward EVERYONE involved. (Not always easy when sin is involved, but possible, plus right doesn't always equal easy.)

REST... This is certainly harder than it seems. You are approximately twice the age you were when your kids were the age of your grandkids! You are probably under stress. You have other stresses in your life than you did when raising your children. Sometimes rest is more of a nightmare than a pleasure. But whether you have the children part of the day or they live in your home, you need REST. Simplify other areas of your life as you can. Find outside help if it is available. I know it is easier to write this than it is to actually get the rest.

What you can OFFER... As I said before, each situation is different. Are the children babies, toddlers, school age? Why are they in your home? Is it permanent or temporary? What kind of stability are they coming from? Remember, no matter what the situation you have something to offer them–GOD. Teach, teach, teach. Let the children know GOD LOVES THEM. Let them know the security and love you have for them comes from a source that is overflowing with love. All children need to know and feel God's love for them but children who are outside the family structure God created have a greater need to fill. If their parents are in and out of their lives, the children can carry a misplaced burden of responsibility and feel less than secure. It has become your job to fill their bucket but to also let them know God is the source of all love.

Structure... It is up to you to give structure and routine to their lives. This includes day-to-day but also includes preparing them for changes. If you have been made a guardian or if one parent has custody, there may be visitation. If courts are involved, there may be visits by governmental agencies. If sin is involved that includes illegal activity, it may even mean visitation to jails or prisons. Each one of these and more presents challenges of explaining the situation to the child, making sure the child understands it is NOT their fault, and dealing with the emotional stresses the child is going to have. Children hurt, are embarrassed, or as one 4 year old said, "I just want my old life back!" They are dealing with adult situations and don't have the wisdom and knowledge to order their emotions. DO NOT, however, let the situation rule - don't let the situation take the blame for bad behavior. Use the time you have to talk about why the child is with you and that CHOICES were made by their parents (without laying blame) and their choices have consequences. Good choices - good consequences, bad choices – bad consequences. Choices affect those around us in good and bad ways.

Attitude... One of the hardest parts of raising the grandchildren in my situation is MY attitude. Much of my prayer life is in trying to adjust my attitude. I slide in and out of emotions: anger at the situation, guilt that I didn't do a better job with my children and that's why I'm where I am today, embarrassment at the choices that created the situation in the first place, anger that I don't get to spend my time as I would like, worry I'm doing the right thing or in some situations whether the kids are safe, frustration toward various and sundry, etc. The apostle Paul called on us to be content but when we are doing what we know is the God given role of another we struggle with how and why we are to do it. Satan is a master of twisting our emotions and wasting our energy on emotions rather than solutions. It's not that we aren't to have emotions, just don't let them paralyze you, but instead, spur you to prayerful, godly action.

If you have one parent (or both) living with you, make THEM responsible for the decisions involving the children. It is easy to answer by default but it is not right. You may be a caregiver but you are not the parent. It is the parents’ decision as to whether or not the child gets the flu shot, goes to a sleepover, takes a class, participates in an activity - not yours. They should consult you if it involves you, but the decision is theirs and the responsibility is theirs to pay for, transport them to, or do what ever is required to fulfill that decision. Make them responsible for the care of the children and the belongings of the children. Yes, they may work all day but if they didn't live with you, how much more would they be called on to do. Allowing them the opportunity to succeed and fail is a gift you give them. You are saying to your child, "I see you as an adult and believe in you and your abilities. I know you will succeed and fail and in both you will learn and grow to be a better person and a better parent." If you have the children living in your home, keep pictures of their parents in their room. Don't talk about the family, legal, or medical situations in front of them. Avoid saying anything against either parent in front of the children. At the same time don't feel you have to "create" good parents for the child. Their parents are who they are. They probably have both good and bad traits. We all do. Creating a totally good parent by not discussing bad behavior gives the child a false picture as does focusing only on bad traits.

Be honest in conversations. One hard thing for me is to keep your business, your business. Family and friends mean well but not all of them want to know everything. Most of the time if they ask how things are going they just want to know degrees--good, better, best-- not details. That being said, have a friend you can bare your soul to. Let children know they can talk to you but don't try and force conversations. Often at bed time when lights are out kids will open up with questions and comments. Try to keep time open in the evening to sit with the children as they go to bed and listen to them. 

I don't know if these are helpful. They are what I have learned and observed. I am sure there are a thousand more things that could be said, but basically it is just be godly, be there for the children involved and for the parents, and be open to God to lead you through.

Courtesy of Joanne Beckley

Today’s post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

Concerning EZEKIEL 3:17-21:

"Fourth, this text affirms above all else that with the privilege of wearing the prophet's mantle comes an awesome responsibility for the life and death of the people in one's charge. To be negligent in the fulfillment of one's prophetic duty is a capital crime. The prophet is to sound the horn not only WHEN God sends the signal but AS God dictates [emphasis his]. His message may not be of his own imagination OR ACCORDING TO HIS UNDERSTANDING OF THE NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE [emphasis mine]. It is ultimately God's evaluation of their situation that the doomed need to hear, not the myopic opinions and panaceas of fellow human travelers. The message of God is that sin and wickedness require a radical prescription: repentance and casting oneself totally on the mercy of God. That God speaks in this situation is in itself an act of Grace."  Block, Daniel Vol 1 p 150
 
 Seems that some preachers and elders need to apply this, especially the phrase I emphasized. Way too much thought is given to the needs of the people and not upsetting them and too little to sounding the alarm that a day is coming, "When the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus." (2Thess 1:7-8, ESV2011) Yes, the sweet and loving Jesus whose yoke is easy and burden is light and who loved so much he died.....
 
 Too much unpleasant truth is soft-pedaled or not preached at all, or seldom preached, or apologized for when it is preached.
 
 If I am too harsh in the way that I do it, then someone else step up and do it nicely, but we must do it.
 
 By the bye--God's prophets and apostles never found that nice way.
 
 
 That bears repeating: By the bye--God's prophets and apostles never found that nice way.
 
 
 Many that might have repented at plain preaching will go to hell because they were lulled by the nice.

And, according to Ezekiel, they will meet all those nice preachers again.

"Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. If I say to the wicked, `You shall surely die,' and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you will have saved your life. Again, if a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die; because you have not warned him, he shall die for his sin, and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand. Nevertheless if you warn the righteous man not to sin, and he does not sin, he shall surely live, because he took warning; and you will have saved your life." Ezek 3:17-21

Keith Ward