Guest Writer

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Honor Your Mother

Today's post is by guest writer Doy Moyer.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). It is appropriate to think about the roles of father and mother as those who have had the most impact in our lives. While we often focus on the men who were integral to the plan of God revealed in the word, we should equally remember the great influence of women. From Eve to Mary or from Ruth to Eunice, women’s roles in shaping both the world around us and the salvation in Christ are beyond measure.

Paul’s reminder to Timothy highlights the importance of this on a personal level: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well” (2 Tim 1:5). This made it so that “from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Tim 3:15). Never underestimate the value and significance of what mothers (and grandmothers) do.

Let’s think briefly about mothers in the book of Proverbs. First, note that both folly and wisdom are personified as women (see chapters 7-9). While the warning against following lady folly is critical, just as important is the exhortation to listen to lady wisdom. Read Proverbs 7:1-5 and note the need to treasure wisdom as a sister and friend. It is within this context of listening to wisdom that hearers are told to listen to mothers. A mother’s teaching is not to be forsaken (1:8). It is the foolish son who is a sorrow to and despises his mother (10:1; 15:20). One who chases away his mother brings shame and reproach (19:26), and the one who curses father and mother has his lamp put out (likely a reference to a shortened life — see Exodus 20:12; Eph 6:1-3). Mothers are not to be despised (23:22), but should rather be able to rejoice in her children (23:25). Godly mothers and wisdom go hand in hand.

We should also appreciate that it is a mother giving instructions to her son in Proverbs 31: “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him” (v. 1). Note, too, that her son was a king. Yet he still needed to listen to his mother. She taught her son not to give his strength to women or wine. He was told to open his mouth for the mute and judge righteously, defending the rights of the poor and needy (Prov 31:1-9). Also in this context is the great passage that brings Proverbs to a close: an acrostic about the woman of virtue (Prov 31:10-31). What was personified as lady wisdom earlier in the book is now brought to life in a worthy woman who blesses her home and others as she fears the Lord. This is all part of a mother’s instructions to her son (yes, the passage on the virtuous woman was taught to a young man!).

The point to take away is that there is a connection in Scripture between a righteous mother and the wisdom that emanates from God. Children who listen to their mothers (and godly fathers) are going to be blessed. They and honor and obey their parents. They bring to fruition the wise, godly attitudes, and counsel that their parents sought to instill within them. Parents are not to be despised or forsaken as they age. Rather, they are to be cherished, loved, and given due credit for their part in raising children that ought to bring blessings to the world.

There are reasons why we know something of the mother of Jesus. She was especially chosen as the mother of the Lord as He entered this world. When Elizabeth greeted Mary (both of whom were with child), she said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord” (Luke 1:42-45). Mary believed and was blessed, and she had the privilege of being “the mother of my Lord.” She raised Him as God desired. She suffered when Jesus suffered; she was pierced through when He was pierced. She stayed close to Him all the way through.

Let us, then, honor our mothers who rejoiced with us, cried with us, suffered with us, and will love us to the end. A godly mother is one of the greatest blessings given by God. Listen to her wisdom and counsel. Know that she longs to protect us from harm and will love us always. We ought to be deeply grateful. And remember, though we may lose an earthly mother, we have many more in the Lord by whom we are richly blessed (see Mark 10:28-30).

Doy Moyer
It seems that Doy's blog, Searching Daily, is no longer active.  If you have a chance though, you can check out more of his writing on his Facebook page.

Submission and Battered Wives

Today's post is by guest writer Joanne Beckley.

Submission is a gift. A husband can have no greater help or hindrance than what his wife gives or withholds from him. It was once said, “The woman is the guardian of love; the man is the guardian of authority.” It takes all the strength, intelligence, and imagination and love that a woman has to be a helper suitable for her husband. OR, she can be like a gold ring in a swine’s snout (Prov.11:22), without discretion and of no value to her husband.
 
Do your recognize yourself in any of the following actions toward your husband? What are you going to do about it? Do you . . .
Disguise belittling with humor
Complain to a friend
Use long silences to punish
Mentally rehearse his faults
Take matters into your own hands
Argue to force the “right” decision
Become irritated or impatient
Use sex as a weapon of leverage
Go on a shopping spree
Call Momma
Use tears to intimidate
Pretend to be sick to manipulate
Use compliments to get whatever
Criticize decisions made
Dominate the conversation
Say, “I told you so.”
Yell or throw things
Correct minute details in his stories to belittle him
Preach/ harangue
Each of these actions represents domination – and we may not have realized it at the time. Submission is not present – nor is a meek and quiet spirit! A contentious wife can literally undermine her husband’s health. She saps his emotional strength, undermines his ambition, and destroys his chance to lead his home as God wants of him.
 
We wives have choices. Our husbands cannot make them for us. By marrying, every husband has gambled and placed his emotional welfare and his manhood in the hands of his wife. What shall we be to our husbands? a crown? or rottenness to his bones? (Prov.12:4)
 
John Clark, in his series on Marriage, likes to compare marriage to a triangle which requires pushing out toward each named corner – conscientiousness, consistency and constancy. Marriage cannot please God when its greatest killer, selfishness, is present. Two empty containers cannot fill one another. Fill one and then share with the other until both are filled.
 
We need to discuss the abused wife. Who is she? Does she have a scriptural right to leave her husband when adultery is not present? The husband, who loved her so much and treated her like a queen before marriage, may begin to physically abuse or to play a verbal “cutting” game to see how much he can make her bleed. Both are condemned by God (Eph.5:28-29 specifically).
 
Submission to such a man is exceedingly difficult. God has given her tools to work with:
a.    A meek (remember the definition?) and quiet spirit, which includes a quiet self-respect because she knows she is following God,
b.    The confidence in the great value God places on her,
c.    Brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage her, and
d.    Elders in the church to discipline a sinful brother. BUT,
e.    She must be willing to seek help! Denial and silence are Satan’s tools.
 
Questions that need to be answered:
1.    At what point should a wife no longer “protect” their marital privacy?
2.    Could battering in some cases be prevented if a wife humbly addresses all sin in her marriage (Mt.18:15-17) and seeks help quickly to solve marital problems before serious abuse develops?
3.    Do wives have the right to use civil law, (battery is a felony), an avenue God has provided for mankind? Does 1 Cor.6:1-4 come into play here?
4.    Does Christ ever ask us to support another in his sin? Is she doing this by remaining in a situation, (e.g. the home), where he feels free to abuse her?
5.    What principles does a wife need to consider, if her husband is also abusing the children?
6.    Can an abused wife leave her husband?  
7.    When life is threatened, do other principles of God come into play? Consider Mark 3:4; Gen.9:5,6; Luke 14:26-27 in light of this question.
 
In working through these thorny issues, consider Jesus and how He dealt with persecution. These are some of the principles we as wives need to consider: The treatment He received did not determine Christ’s reaction. God was always present in every action. Christ was never alone. The ultimate goal was worth the cost.
 
I cannot answer for a battered wife’s convictions. SHE will make her choices and stand by them. May God bless her in her decisions to do what is right. She is an incredibly courageous woman. The rest of us? We must reach out to the victim and believe her. Love shares pain and love supports her search for what is best in the sight of God.
 
A strong reminder: Culture in itself cannot influence a couple’s marriage in a harmful way without their consent. It is how one responds to cultural pressures that determines whether the marriage is harmed or strengthened. Likewise, the congregation where you attend cannot influence you as a couple without your consent. Decisions among brethren are being made today that are affecting marriages.
 
Marriage is the ONLY way God has provided to fulfill a person’s need for deep companionship. Rejoice in your marriage!
 
“Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen” (2 Pet.3:18).
 
Joanne Beckley

We Are All Lifeguards

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

I took Judah to the beach.  It was a green flag day (in other words, a safe one, though open water always carries dangers) and we were body surfing along the shore.  I noticed someone further out, but thought nothing of it at first as a lot of people like to go out beyond the breakers and just float, including myself.  Gradually, I noticed that she seemed to be struggling and someone was calling to her from the shore.  "Are you OK?" I yelled.  "I can't touch," she responded.  I turned to Judah and told him to stay by the shore and then swam out to the young woman.  "Can you swim?" I asked.  "No, and my arms are getting tired," she replied.  To her credit though scared, she wasn't panicking.  "It's all right, almost everyone can float.  Just relax and we'll see about getting you back in."  I put my arm around her waist and began side-stroking back to shore. 
 
I glanced at the lifeguard station and saw that they had finally noticed that something was wrong.  One of the two was hopping down from the tower and starting out with a flotation device.  "OK, the lifeguard is on the way.  All we have to do is keep your head above water till they get here."  "OK," she responded.  By the time the lifeguard got to us, I had the woman almost all the way in.  He had her grab the flotation device and asked me, "Are you OK, sir?"  I said yes, and swam back to Judah.  We kept body surfing for another half-hour.  
 
The reason I told that story is not to brag (OK, maybe just a little), but because of the fact that I am not a lifeguard.  I am not a lifeguard, but I saw someone in trouble when the lifeguards were distracted by the hundreds of others in the water, and I went to help her.  It is possible she would have drowned before the official guards saw her.  The church, as a family, is supposed to be looking out for one another.  Yes, we have "lifeguards" in the form of elders and preachers.  Those guards are often busy with all the others "in the water" and might not see the one struggling Christian that you are aware of.  Don't wait for the elders or the preacher to notice.  Do something.  How many passages might we cite? 
 
Gal. 6:1,2  "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. . . Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."  Luke 17:3  "Take heed to yourselves: if thy brother sin, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him."   Heb. 10:24  "and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works"
 
I'm sure a few minutes with a search engine would bring up a dozen more.  If your brother or sister is struggling, do something.  Maybe the best thing you can do is alert the "lifeguard" rather than swimming out yourself, but do something.  Don't allow your brother to drown while you watch, waiting for someone else to act.  
 
Jude 22-23  "And on some have mercy, who are in doubt; and some save, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh."
 
 
Lucas Ward

Simmering Anger

Today's post is by guest writer Joanne Beckley.

Leviticus 19:18 You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.
 
All of the following can be true of you or me. Please take time to read and consider.
 
Simmering Anger (bearing a grudge) is fed by emotions. Your mind has forgiven a wrong done. You have said the right words, but your heart continues to feed on your hurt. Why? In truth, full forgiveness continues to be withheld. No longer do you feel close to that sister or brother in Christ, and those feelings are destroying any trust toward that person. The days and years go by but simmering anger and remembered hurt is still there. Sadly, by now, only you are suffering.
                                                            
When a person does not let go of real or imagined hurt, repeated, unrealistic, negative thoughts and speech will begin to develop. There will always be a suspicion or the conviction that someone is going to hurt you. And so someone does...and again, another does. Hurt upon hurt, real or imagined, will be fed by a broken angry heart. It is happening and you feel friendless and isolated. Your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire glass of water.
 
Thankfully, God believes and knows your heart and mind can again begin to beat in the united way He has intended. One can indeed completely let go of self, repent, and then truly forgive and forget. Look upward and let God heal a simmering angry heart.
 
Eph 2:2-6 in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly [places,] in Christ Jesus,

Ask yourself:
Is my anger based on assuming the best motives?
Is it driven by spiritual concern for others?
Am I grieving in unrighteousness for others and trying to remedy?
Can I trust God to heal me? To no longer live as a child of wrath?
 
 
Letting go of simmering anger is a matter of choice. I will choose to let go!! I will refuse to mentally rehearse past hurts. I will actively seek to heal any breach between us. I will learn again the joy found in loving my brothers and sisters in Christ so that we will be alive together with Christ.
 
Eph 4:1-3, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
 
Eph 4:26 Be angry yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
 
Ps 4:4-5 Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And trust in the LORD.
 
Eph 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
 
Col 3:12-14 And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things [put on] love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

Joanne Beckley

Have I Been...?

Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

God, seated on the throne, held out a book sealed with seven seals (Rev 5). No one on earth, in the heavens, or under the earth was found worthy to open the seals.  Worthy implies the power and authority to execute the purposes written in the book. One of the elders told John to stop weeping that none was found, for the "lion of the tribe of Judah, the root of David" had overcome to open the book. The expression "no one was found" implies a search – they did "search through heaven to find a savior." This search was symbolic in John's vision to emphasize that no one was able except Jesus. But, how did Jesus conquer Satan and sin and death? When John turned to see a Lion, he saw a "Lamb slaughtered," but standing alive (resurrected). Opening the seals does not refer to salvation through the cross, for the Lamb was already slain and raised and stood at the throne of God. For now let the seals remain a mystery and know that Jesus accomplished God's plan to save man by suffering. He suffered all his life at the hands of the chief priests, rulers and Pharisees. Finally, he suffered the horrific death of the cross. Jesus is our slaughtered Passover Lamb (1 Cor 5:7).  Suffering is God's way of conquering. The suffering saints in the arena, on crosses, burning as torches at parties conquered the Roman Empire (Revelation).

The disciples rejoiced to suffer (Acts 5:41). Peter urged Christians to follow Jesus' example of suffering and His attitude of not reviling. In fact, this IS our calling (1 Pet 2:21). We should "not think it strange" that we suffer, but bear it like Jesus and show our faith to the world (1Pet 4:12).

We are called to present our bodies a living sacrifice (Rom 12:1-2). We, too, are to be slaughtered lambs, having hope in the same resurrection. Whether by persecution, disease, famine, nakedness, peril or sword, we must imitate Jesus.

Are we dodging the bullet of suffering by softening the message, a gospel that offends none? Do we keep quiet when subjects come up in society that might cause our rejection, even job loss? I do know that many (most) complain at even our "First World" inconveniences, much less real suffering. Maybe we need to read our Bibles instead of just listening to pleasing preaching.

If God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, knowing most would reject the gospel, how might he "give" us for the sake of saving a soul that might ultimately be lost?
 
I charge [thee] in the sight of God, and of Christ Jesus, who shall judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be urgent in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching 2Tim4:1,2.
 
Keith Ward

Never Speak Evil

Today's post is by guest writer Doy Moyer.

Never speak evil. We are not to speak evil of anyone, including those in positions of power. Not even Michael the archangel would bring a railing accusation against the devil, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” (Jude 9) The powers that be are in God’s hands and judged according to His will and in His time; He will deal with them as He wills. When they fail to honor God, then He will judge them.

This is not to say that we endorse or appreciate everything about people in power. I have severe differences with many who make laws, and I try to leave no doubt as to where I stand on moral issues (like abortion or homosexual activity). However, as a Christian, I try to be careful about what I would say about those in authoritative positions, especially when I disagree with them. We can deal appropriately with the various issues without bringing railing accusations against those in power or dishonoring their position.

Remember the example of Jesus (1 Peter 2:21-25): “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously….”

If we are truly disciples of Jesus, then we will seek to follow this example. This ought to impact how we interact in person, on social media, or any other form of communication. Christians do not get to hide behind a wall so they can insult and revile. Even when being put to death in the most shameful and degrading way as a criminal by the ruling authorities, Jesus did not revile or insult, but rather offered forgiveness and died so that they can choose to enter into His grace.
 
Doy Moyer

Because She Was There

Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.

In Luke 13:10-17, Jesus heals a woman with a "spirit of infirmity".  This spirit caused her to be bent over, unable to straighten up.  The healing was done on the sabbath, which caused a stir.  Jesus' answer, based out of Deut. 5:12-15 which told the Israelites that the Sabbath was to be a reminder being freed by God from Egyptian slavery, is extraordinary.  "What better day to free a daughter of Abraham?"  Today, I want to focus on a minor point.  

Jesus often healed in response to someone's act of faith.  "Your faith has made you whole" almost seems like the Lord's catchphrase.  This was not the case in this instance.  Jesus is teaching in the synagogue and sees this poor woman who had been suffering from this evil spirit for eighteen years.  He has compassion on her.  He heals her.  The compassion of the Lord is not surprising.

What is surprising is that this woman, bent over and surely in significant pain, unable to straighten up and surely mocked by unruly children everywhere, was in the synagogue on the Sabbath.  When I think of all the excuses I have used to miss a church service and compare them to her, I am ashamed.  Somehow "my back is sore" or "I'm just too rundown" doesn't seem nearly as valid.  

Jesus had compassion on her when He saw her.  He only saw her because she was at the synagogue service, despite her misery.  Maybe there is a lesson there.  
 
Hebrews 10:25  "Forsaking not the assembling of yourselves together, as the custom of some is . . ."

Lucas Ward

Attraction, Affection, Infatuation, LOVE

Today's post is by guest writer Joanne Beckley.

Whenever we are “struck” with attraction toward another (whether we are young or old!), we need to identify that attraction for what it is. In today’s terms we identify differences in this attraction as affection, sexual infatuation, and love. Each are various degrees of love. We all recognize a caring, warm feeling of affection toward one another (John 21 Peter’s substitution for “agape” love), but when this drifts into a feeling of being sexually stimulated, we need to identify it for what it is and make a conscious choice. Do I allow it to increase? Or with will power strike it down? When we want to please God, it will be the latter until it can be acted upon in marriage.
 
When we talk with our young people we need to help them identify the difference between infatuation and love. Can we? Do we ourselves have a clear understanding? So lets talk about it.
 
"Infatuation love" refers to a strong, often intense feeling of attraction or interest towards someone. It is usually based on a superficial level of connection, physical appearance, or excitement of a new relationship. This level is often short-lived and not as deep or committed as true love. Infatuation is essentially a quick and passionate crush that may not stand the test of time.
 
“Infatuation creates illusions, and illusions are dangerous people. They have no flaws.”
 
On the other hand, love identifies and acknowledges differences as individuality, accepting the other as a whole. Love looks to celebrate these differences and build a connection that allows both people to thrive as individuals. It may require intentional work and effort to come together toward a mutual goal. Love is a choice.
 
Consider the relationship between Joseph and Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39:9-16). Joseph recognized her sexual attraction toward him as infatuation and and acknowledged that acting on it was not right in God’s eyes. He ran!
 
Amnon did not run, but rather acted with absolute determination to have his sister Tamar. (2Samuel 13). King David did not run (2Samuel 12) and let his sexual need rule his heart and head. Both destroyed any possible good.

Whatever love there is in man, whether toward God or toward our fellowman, love has its source in God (1John 4:7, 19). The highest form of love implies a clear determination of the will and judgment. When we read through 1Corinthians 13, it is obvious that love demands considered action whether toward God or man. Love is an earnest and anxious desire in the well-being of the one loved. How it is shown will depend on circumstances and relationships.
 
Love should be “without hypocrisy” (Rom 12:9). There should be no pretense about it. It should not be a thing of mere word or tongue, but in deed and truth (1John 3:18). Real love will find its expression in service to man. “Through love be servants one of another” (Gal 5:13). Love bears the frailness of the weak, seeking their welfare (Rom 15:1-3; Phil 2:21; Gal 6:2; 1 Cor 10:24). One gladly forgives (Eph 4:32) and honors the one loved (Rom 12:10).
 
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection
Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.
 
Love develops over time
Infatuation is instant
 
Love lasts a long time.
Infatuation is temporary and never develops.
 
Love accepts the imperfections of the other.
Infatuation only sees or imagines the perfections.
 
Love is more than a physical attraction.
Infatuation is mostly a physical attraction.
 
Love doesn't make a person irrational.
Infatuation can make a person act irrationally.
 
We must learn the difference if we ever hope to have a lasting love.
 
Joanne Beckley

The Old Paths

Today's post is by guest writer Keith Ward.

Jer 8:4  “Shall men fall and not rise again?  Shall one turn aside and not return?”
 
            We would be astonished to see someone trip and fall and not get up. Probably, we would rush to his aid, thinking he was seriously injured. But we would be totally confused should he say, “No, I am all right; I decided not to get up because I like it down here.” 
            God sent his prophets to warn the people of Israel that they were as foolish as that man. They fell into idolatry and sin and rather than admit their mistake, they said, “I like it down here.” Bible students know that God caused his people to be carried into Babylonian captivity for their sin. Finally, they awakened from their sin-induced stupor and did a U-turn in their hearts, so God returned them to the Promised Land.
            In our society, many seem to be like the man fallen on the ground who proclaims, “Life is great down here; get your head out of the clouds and join me.”  Anyone with any moral standards left at all can look about and see many reasons for God to bring judgment on this wicked society – fornication abounds to the extent that when one sins with the same partner for more than a week, it is a “relationship”, babies older than John the Baptist who “leapt for joy” in Elizabeth’s womb (Lk 1:44) are murdered every day, the judicial system protects criminals who prey on society from the justice due them, etc. How can we not fear that a Day of Judgment from God is about to be unleashed upon us? Even the religious leaders, who should be crying aloud for repentance, plead for acceptance of sinners who refuse to repent and who continue to grow worse and worse, “The prophets [evangelists] prophesy falsely and the priests rule by what profits them and MY PEOPLE love to have it so” Jer 5:30-31).
            God’s good news is that we have a savior who will help us to our feet, who will brush the dirt of our evil desires from us, and who will turn us from the ways of the world into the old paths that lead to God.
 
Jer 6:16 “Thus says the LORD: Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.”
 
Or as Jesus’ invitation: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Mt 11:28).
 
Keith Ward

Accepting Forgiveness

Today's post is by guest writer Joanne Beckley.

Forgiveness can never be deserved, for man cannot remove his own sin which has created a barrier between him and God. Though forgiveness is on God's part an act of pure grace prompted by His love and mercy, and though He forgives freely all those who comply with the condition of repentance and obedience and abandonment of sin, this does not ignore the necessity of an atonement. Jesus’ death and resurrection made it possible for God to forgive you and me, Romans 5:10 For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. We will never deserve forgiveness for our sins, yet we can be forgiven when we believe and obey His Son, and trust in His ability to do so.
 
But what about man toward man? (Or should I write woman toward woman?) Do we ever deserve to be forgiven of sin? Must man forever carry the guilt of what he has done toward another? No! We forgive primarily to honor Christ. The other person is merely the recipient of our obedience to God. On the other hand, whatever hurtful thing we have done must be realized, accepted, grieved over, and then asked to be forgiven. Until the other person wholly forgives, we will carry the unrelieved burden of grief and guilt buried deep within. If unforgiven, we will feel the other does not believe forgiveness is necessary or deserved. Everyone sins (not just “oopsies”). It is love that will cover sin. 1Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.
 
What about our own ability to trust another’s forgiveness when we know we have deeply hurt that person? Do we feel that we can never deserve to be forgiven? There must be the knowledge that accepting love in the form of forgiveness is something we cannot afford to ignore or discard. Forgiveness and accepting forgiveness are absolutely necessary to bind two human beings together.
 
We have a very strong example of this dilemma in Genesis 45-50. For many, many years Joseph’s brothers carried their guilt concerning what they had done to their father and especially to their brother. When they were finally able to express their sorrow to Joseph and hear Joseph’s words to try to reassure them that he had already forgiven them, they were not reassured. This was evident a number of years later when their father Jacob died and they were still fearful of Joseph’s forgiveness. They didn’t feel they deserved his forgiveness. They didn’t trust Joseph’s truth of being able to forgive or their right to be forgiven. Joseph learned to forgive while being refined and tested by God while in Egypt (Psalm 105:19); his brothers had to learn to accept with thanksgiving.
 
Now to ask a very important question. Can you believe and trust when someone forgives you? Or do you still carry your guilt and grief around with you? Do you resurrect it in your mind and in your speech year after year? No? Consider the husband/wife relationship. What tends to happen in an argument that gets heated. “You always, you never!” A lack of trust cannot heal.
 
One more question. God has said he has forgiven you. Do you believe His promise? Or do you continue to feel you do not deserve to be forgiven? God thinks you do! We must learn to trust in His forgiveness throughout the years by reading the Scriptures, acknowledge that He has answered our prayers, trust in His promise to wipe our slate clean, and always give thanks. What a gift! True peace.
 
Philippians 4:6,7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Joanne Beckley