Today's post is by guest writer Joanne Beckley.
Whenever we are “struck” with attraction toward another (whether we are young or old!), we need to identify that attraction for what it is. In today’s terms we identify differences in this attraction as affection, sexual infatuation, and love. Each are various degrees of love. We all recognize a caring, warm feeling of affection toward one another (John 21 Peter’s substitution for “agape” love), but when this drifts into a feeling of being sexually stimulated, we need to identify it for what it is and make a conscious choice. Do I allow it to increase? Or with will power strike it down? When we want to please God, it will be the latter until it can be acted upon in marriage.
When we talk with our young people we need to help them identify the difference between infatuation and love. Can we? Do we ourselves have a clear understanding? So lets talk about it.
"Infatuation love" refers to a strong, often intense feeling of attraction or interest towards someone. It is usually based on a superficial level of connection, physical appearance, or excitement of a new relationship. This level is often short-lived and not as deep or committed as true love. Infatuation is essentially a quick and passionate crush that may not stand the test of time.
“Infatuation creates illusions, and illusions are dangerous people. They have no flaws.”
On the other hand, love identifies and acknowledges differences as individuality, accepting the other as a whole. Love looks to celebrate these differences and build a connection that allows both people to thrive as individuals. It may require intentional work and effort to come together toward a mutual goal. Love is a choice.
Consider the relationship between Joseph and Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39:9-16). Joseph recognized her sexual attraction toward him as infatuation and and acknowledged that acting on it was not right in God’s eyes. He ran!
Amnon did not run, but rather acted with absolute determination to have his sister Tamar. (2Samuel 13). King David did not run (2Samuel 12) and let his sexual need rule his heart and head. Both destroyed any possible good.
Whatever love there is in man, whether toward God or toward our fellowman, love has its source in God (1John 4:7, 19). The highest form of love implies a clear determination of the will and judgment. When we read through 1Corinthians 13, it is obvious that love demands considered action whether toward God or man. Love is an earnest and anxious desire in the well-being of the one loved. How it is shown will depend on circumstances and relationships.
Love should be “without hypocrisy” (Rom 12:9). There should be no pretense about it. It should not be a thing of mere word or tongue, but in deed and truth (1John 3:18). Real love will find its expression in service to man. “Through love be servants one of another” (Gal 5:13). Love bears the frailness of the weak, seeking their welfare (Rom 15:1-3; Phil 2:21; Gal 6:2; 1 Cor 10:24). One gladly forgives (Eph 4:32) and honors the one loved (Rom 12:10).
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection
Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.
Love develops over time
Infatuation is instant
Love lasts a long time.
Infatuation is temporary and never develops.
Love accepts the imperfections of the other.
Infatuation only sees or imagines the perfections.
Love is more than a physical attraction.
Infatuation is mostly a physical attraction.
Love doesn't make a person irrational.
Infatuation can make a person act irrationally.
We must learn the difference if we ever hope to have a lasting love.
Joanne Beckley
Whenever we are “struck” with attraction toward another (whether we are young or old!), we need to identify that attraction for what it is. In today’s terms we identify differences in this attraction as affection, sexual infatuation, and love. Each are various degrees of love. We all recognize a caring, warm feeling of affection toward one another (John 21 Peter’s substitution for “agape” love), but when this drifts into a feeling of being sexually stimulated, we need to identify it for what it is and make a conscious choice. Do I allow it to increase? Or with will power strike it down? When we want to please God, it will be the latter until it can be acted upon in marriage.
When we talk with our young people we need to help them identify the difference between infatuation and love. Can we? Do we ourselves have a clear understanding? So lets talk about it.
"Infatuation love" refers to a strong, often intense feeling of attraction or interest towards someone. It is usually based on a superficial level of connection, physical appearance, or excitement of a new relationship. This level is often short-lived and not as deep or committed as true love. Infatuation is essentially a quick and passionate crush that may not stand the test of time.
“Infatuation creates illusions, and illusions are dangerous people. They have no flaws.”
On the other hand, love identifies and acknowledges differences as individuality, accepting the other as a whole. Love looks to celebrate these differences and build a connection that allows both people to thrive as individuals. It may require intentional work and effort to come together toward a mutual goal. Love is a choice.
Consider the relationship between Joseph and Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39:9-16). Joseph recognized her sexual attraction toward him as infatuation and and acknowledged that acting on it was not right in God’s eyes. He ran!
Amnon did not run, but rather acted with absolute determination to have his sister Tamar. (2Samuel 13). King David did not run (2Samuel 12) and let his sexual need rule his heart and head. Both destroyed any possible good.
Whatever love there is in man, whether toward God or toward our fellowman, love has its source in God (1John 4:7, 19). The highest form of love implies a clear determination of the will and judgment. When we read through 1Corinthians 13, it is obvious that love demands considered action whether toward God or man. Love is an earnest and anxious desire in the well-being of the one loved. How it is shown will depend on circumstances and relationships.
Love should be “without hypocrisy” (Rom 12:9). There should be no pretense about it. It should not be a thing of mere word or tongue, but in deed and truth (1John 3:18). Real love will find its expression in service to man. “Through love be servants one of another” (Gal 5:13). Love bears the frailness of the weak, seeking their welfare (Rom 15:1-3; Phil 2:21; Gal 6:2; 1 Cor 10:24). One gladly forgives (Eph 4:32) and honors the one loved (Rom 12:10).
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection
Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.
Love develops over time
Infatuation is instant
Love lasts a long time.
Infatuation is temporary and never develops.
Love accepts the imperfections of the other.
Infatuation only sees or imagines the perfections.
Love is more than a physical attraction.
Infatuation is mostly a physical attraction.
Love doesn't make a person irrational.
Infatuation can make a person act irrationally.
We must learn the difference if we ever hope to have a lasting love.
Joanne Beckley