Today's post is by guest writer Lucas Ward.
I grew up watching John Wayne movies and reading Louis L’Amour novels. We lived in a rural area, grew most of our food,, and heated the house with a wood stove, cutting wood whenever any was available throughout the year. So I was steeped in the American culture of self-sufficiency. Real men handled their own problems. Or, as L’Amour put it, “A man forks his own broncs.” If you have a wild horse that needs breaking, you do it yourself; you don’t farm it out. Another gem that comes from several L’Amour novels, and this is more of a paraphrase than a quote, “A man alone is stronger. He knows he must do all by himself and so he does. A man with companions begins to depend. When his companions fail him, he is lost.” This idea of being self-sufficient and self-sustaining is very American. In many ways it has been a good thing for our country. With no king or feudal lord the early colonists and, later, settlers had to depend upon themselves to determine the direction of their lives. They had to provide for their own sustenance, fight their own battles and build their own homes. That self-sufficiency carried the European settlers all the way across the continent in a conquest almost unique in history. It wasn’t the army that “won the west”. It was the individual settler, one farm, one ranch at a time.
And yet, that same self-sufficiency can be problematic when it doesn’t allow a person to ask for help when he needs it. “I can handle it myself!” has caused a lot of problems, from broken marriages to various addictions to financial disasters to mental health breakdowns. It is usually because a person’s self-image won’t allow him (and yes, this does tend to be a male problem) to admit he can’t handle a problem on his own. Wait a minute! Self-sufficiency, self-sustaining, self-image, “I can handle it myself!” What is the focus of all these phrases? Self! And yet, what does Jesus say about that? ““If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23) Denial of self is fundamental to Christianity.
Eph. 4:20-24 “ But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Out with the old, in with the new. Hanging on to the old self, the old ways of life, is not how we learned Christ, is it? Paul doubles down in Colossians:
Col. 2:20a “If with Christ you died. . .”
Col. 3:1a “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above . . .”
Col. 3:5 “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”We died with Christ, were raised with Christ, and therefore put to death the old man of sin. This is what it is to be a disciple of Christ. Holding on to self just isn’t a part of it. If you needed any other consideration, how about. . .
Gal. 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”
Paul says he has changed so completely that it is like he is not even in control of his body anymore. Christ is living in him, making sure of Paul’s actions. How can self-image or even a self-contained dignity exist within these passages? If sins are winning far too often, confess and ask for prayers and support. If the weight we carry is to heavy, ask for help in bearing that burden.
Matt. 10:34-39 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
We usually take verse 39 in isolation as we speak of losing our lives for the Lord, but what life is it that we lose for Him? The context clearly shows it is the family, which would include family ideals. Some of these are good, e.g. “I’m a Ward, and Wards don’t lie therefore, I won’t lie.” Others are not so good, e.g. “I’m a Ward, and Wards don’t bother others with their problems.” In following Christ, we must give up our pride of self and our pride of earthly family connections and anything else that keeps us from being humble enough to ask for help. In fact, the better statement, “I am a Ward and Wards don’t lie,” should even become “I am a Christian, and Christians don’t lie.”
Finally, please notice that Christ asked for help when He needed it.
Matt. 26:36-38 “Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here, while I go over there and pray.’ And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.’”
When Jesus was sad and scared and ready to weep, when the weight of the upcoming events was just too much to handle alone, Jesus asked His friends to be with Him as He prayed. Paul did similarly:
2 Tim. 4:9-13 “Do your best to come to me soon. For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry. Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus. When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments.”
Paul is alone as his life comes to a close. His friends are all on missionary trips except Demas, who abandoned him. Despite Luke’s presence, and despite his great confession of faith in the preceding verses, Paul is feeling alone and reaches out to Timothy for companionship in a tough time. If the unstoppable Paul, the Christian Terminator reached out for assistance when he needed it, if Our Lord and Savior admitted the crushing weight He was carrying and asked for support, who am I to feel to dignified to ask for help?
Please, if you are struggling with sin, are fighting sadness and depression, and/or the various pressures of this world are beginning to crush you, reach out to your local congregation. I pretty much guarantee there is someone there who has gone through much the same situations as you and who would love to help. Even if there is no shared experience, you will find brothers and sisters who love you and want to help you in anyway they can. Please, please, reach out and allow us to follow those oft disobeyed commands.
Lucas Ward
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