Having lived through the Cold War and the Cuban Missile Crisis, I grew up knowing about fallout.  I knew people who had bomb shelters in their backyards, and full pantries in their closets.  And at school we practiced diving under our desks, using our hands to cover the backs of our necks, every time a plane flew over.  At 8 or 9, I learned to live through national paranoia like we have never seen since.
            But about that fallout—originally it referred to radioactive particles that might descend through the atmosphere after a nuclear explosion.  We all understood that even if we survived the blast, we were not yet survivors.  Fallout could kill too, just not as quickly, and there would be nothing easy about it.
            I suppose this came to mind after I dirtied up four dust rags and two Swiffer dusters one morning during our recent renovations.  Scraping off popcorn ceilings and taking up 20 year old tiles will raise a dust worse than any Okie ever saw in the thirties.  When it was finally over, we changed air conditioner filters for about the fifth time and hired someone to come in and do a complete and thorough cleanup.  This old, arthritic body just cannot handle it any longer.
            These days, fallout has taken on a different meaning—secondary, lingering effects after an event.  Anyone who has lived through an emotional trauma understands the concept.  Children's misbehavior, depression, or even feelings of guilt after their parents' divorce.  Nightmares after being victimized by a crime.  For soldiers, PTSD.  Many of these people need counseling or some other sort of help because the emotional pain and scarring run so deep.
            But there are other kinds of fallout, some of which we cause out of carelessness.  Words are usually the weapons in those cases.  When two brothers raise a fuss in the Bible class, what do we think will be the effects on visitors from the community?  I once knew of body of the Lord's people which was known in the community as people who couldn't even get along with each other, much less their neighbors.  I wonder how many souls were lost in that area because of that?  When someone thinks it is their God-given right to blast out the preacher on the front steps after a difficult but necessary sermon, I wonder how many weak brothers and sisters are so disgusted they leave—for good?  When a young person overhears two women gossiping about another, I can only imagine how much respect they have lost or how that bad example will reap more just like them.  In each of these cases, it's a slow spiritual death that often follows.
            I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned (Matt 12:36-37).
            We all need to be aware of the fallout we cause by our selfish and careless behavior.  In 1 Cor 6, Paul admonished us to be willing to take wrong rather than do harm to the reputation of the body.  And Jesus was even harder in his judgment.  But whoso shall cause one of these little ones that believe on me to stumble, it is profitable for him that a great millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depth of the sea (Matt 18:6).
When we set off a bomb, we are responsible for the fallout.  That means we are responsible for the deaths that follow as well.
 
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Eph 4:29).
 
Dene Ward

One of the things we dreaded about moving into town was having to deal with an HOA.  Homeowners' Associations breed all sorts of nightmare stories that are easy to find on the internet.  I think that every time I look at the news, I see yet another story about people losing their homes to the petty tyrants of one of those institutions.  As for ours, at least the fees were small, about 10% of one of the other neighborhoods we looked at.  Since it was so small we reasoned that they were not doing that much and shouldn't be a problem to deal with.
            About a week after we moved in, still trying to clean the place up and unpack, we received a letter from the HOA saying our "turf was weak" and we had "one week" to fix the problem or we would be fined every day after that until it was.  This was not a good introduction to our HOA.
            I sat down and sent an email to the property manager detailing all we were dealing with inside the house which was our priority, plus our ages and disabilities, and finally asked the question, "How exactly do you make ugly grass grow beautiful in one week?"  Especially after just coming through a drought (as our next door neighbor told us).  That did take care of the problem, but then two months later, we were having our yard dug up to fix the drainage issues in an HOA-approved action, and got another letter saying our sod needed replacing in ten days, "or else."  The work would not even be finished for another month.  Once again we called, and the problem was taken care of.
            Then we received notice of the quarterly HOA meeting to which all residents were invited.  So we went.  Having arrived early and with only a couple of others besides the board of three (and one of them absent) and the property manager, we were able to engage in small talk and get to know one another better.  Our impression?  These were not unreasonable people.  They were much friendlier than those two letters sounded and welcomed us into the neighborhood.  Then the meeting began and we suddenly saw some of the things they dealt with, things that might have left me much less cheerful than they were.
            At last we got our chance to speak, and we learned some things about how an HOA runs, the responsibilities they had that neither of us had ever guessed, and the legal ramifications if things were not done in a certain way.  When Keith finally had his say, we were encouraged to always call when we got a letter so they could consider the circumstances.  We discovered that they had, in fact, not fined anyone in years!  The law says they have to treat every resident the same regardless their situation or they could be sued, but if we just called and talked to the property manager, it could probably be handled that way.  Perhaps there are legitimate HOA horror stories, but we left with a much better opinion of our HOA.
            Do you think it was that sort of communication that the Lord had in mind when he said that people with personal issues should get together and talk with one another first? (Matt 18:15-17).  We went with an attitude to listen first.  Listening taught us many things we were unaware of.  Then when we had our turn to speak, we automatically tempered our language and heat level because we realized things we had never known before.  We still had suggestions, but put them forth in a manner that meant the board listened instead of automatically tuning us out.  We all understood one another a lot better, and we came up with a solution that kept them out of legal trouble and us from a lot of resentment.
            When we go to others first before speaking to the brother in question, what should have been a small problem becomes much larger.  Before long, something between two becomes something between a few dozen or more.  Do we tell others because we want everyone's sympathy rather than a closer relationship with our brother?  If so, that attitude tells tales on our own hearts, even if we are in the right in the personal matter—which is now no longer personal, and in which we are now no longer in the right because we have disobeyed the Lord's instructions for how to handle it.
            God's way is not only the right way, it is the wise way.  Maybe it will not always bring a good resolution because of the recalcitrance of the wicked, but it is far more likely to do so with a brother who has made an honest mistake or just acted in a moment of weakness than our disobedient way will.
 
​Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end (Prov 25:9-10).
 
Dene Ward

Peter still didn’t get it.
            "Lord, do you wash my feet?"
            Jesus answered him, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand."
            Peter said to him, "You shall never wash my feet."
            Jesus answered him, "If I do not wash you, you have no share with me."
            Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!" (John 13:6-9)
            Typical Peter, we always say, always overdoing it.  No, he didn’t overdo it.  He didn’t go far enough, in fact.  None of them did.  Not a one of them said, “No, Lord.  We ought to be washing YOUR feet.”          
            It wasn’t that difficult a concept.  Two women had already figured it out, one identified as “a sinful woman” in Luke 7, and then Mary, Lazarus’s sister, in John 12. 
            One of those apostles should have said, “Why didn’t we think of that?” but none of them did, not even the three from that inner circle.  If ever they failed to show their understanding of who Jesus really was, it was that night in the upper room.  In fact, instead of serving him as Mary did a few days earlier, they all, not just Judas, resented the fact that so much was spent on that very gesture (Matt 26:8).
            But just a few weeks later—“afterward,” as Jesus had said--they did get it.  All of them, even that apostle born out of season, figured out what service and humility meant.  For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake, 2 Cor 4:5.  Paul and all the others except John were ultimately martyred in their service to the Lord, along the way serving others at huge costs.  They washed their Lord’s feet, not with water, but with their own blood.
            Do we get it?  Do we understand humility, or is saving face more important?  Can we give it all up for Christ, or do our opinions and think-sos matter more than the body for which he died?  Can we subject ourselves, our preferences, our goods, even our lifestyles to others for their souls’ sakes, 1 Cor 9:20-22? 
            I once spoke about subjection at a women’s meeting.  As I was giving an illustration one of the women spoke out loud for all to hear, “That’s where I draw the line.”  No, we were not discussing Acts 5:29 where such a statement would have been appropriate.  We were just talking about sacrificing for others.  Yet she wasn’t even embarrassed to say such a thing.  She obviously didn’t get it.   If she had been next to Peter that horrible night, she would have been happy to sit back and let the Lord wait on her, as long as the water wasn’t too hot and the towel was nice and soft.
            Consider this thought for a moment: what would I have done that night?  Would I have gone at least as far as Peter and the rest, and let the Lord wash my feet, learning the whole lesson eventually?  Or would I have already been there with my pan in hand, as those two other women had been, ready to wait on him and his disciples, anxious to show my devotion to my Lord and Master? 
            Now take it a step farther:  what am I willing to do today?  Am I willing to wash feet, not just with time, effort, and money, but with my own blood?  If we would draw a line anywhere, Satan will make sure we come face to face with that line sometime in our lives.
 
Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.  Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little." And he said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." Luke 7:44-48.
 
Dene Ward
 

I have already written a post about women's roles in the church.  If you would like to see it, or refresh yourself, it was posted July 3. 2015.  Go to the archives (could be on the right sidebar or at the bottom, depending on which device you are using) and click on July 2015, then scroll down.  You will have to click on "Previous" at the bottom two separate times before you arrive at "The One Question I Always Get."
            But something else came to me in the past couple of weeks as I mulled this over when the question came up yet again.  Women are the ones who always question the limitations God has placed on them.  I find that odd because God has placed limitations on a whole lot of other people too. 
            Bachelors are not allowed to be either elders or deacons.  Camp awhile in 1 Timothy and Titus and tell me which of the qualifications a bachelor cannot have as well as a married man except being the husband of one wife and ruling his house well.
            A godly couple who have no children are not allowed to serve this way either, no matter how many other of the qualifications they meet. 
            A man who was given the spiritual gift of tongue-speaking was also limited.  This was a man filled with the Holy Spirit, yet if there was no one who could interpret his tongue he is told in 1 Cor 14:28 to sit down and be quiet!
         God has always placed limitations upon people.  Under the Old Covenant, you could not be a priest if you were not from the tribe of Levi, and not only that, but also from the family of Aaron within that tribe.  That left a lot of people out, and some of them took issue with it.  Korah and Dathan and Abiram complained, saying they were just as good as those God had chosen for the priesthood.  Listen to Moses' reaction:
            Moses also told Korah, “Now listen, Levites! Isn’t it enough for you that the God of Israel has separated you from the Israelite community to bring you near to Himself, to perform the work at the LORD’s tabernacle, and to stand before the community to minister to them? He has brought you near, and all your fellow Levites who are with you, but you are seeking the priesthood as well. Therefore, it is you and all your followers who have conspired against the LORD! As for Aaron, who is he that you should complain about him? ” Num 16:8-11
            May I just paraphrase a little?  Ladies, isn't it enough that God has separated you from the world to bring you near to him as his children, able to be a part of his church at all, and given you the hope of salvation?  Yet you will stand up and conspire against the Lord?  It isn't men you are complaining about, any more than it was Moses back then—it is God.
            Look at the rest of the story:  Then Moses said, “This is how you will know that the LORD sent me to do all these things and that it was not of my own will: If these men die naturally as all people would, and suffer the fate of all, then the LORD has not sent me But if the LORD brings about something unprecedented, and the ground opens its mouth and swallows them along with all that belongs to them so that they go down alive into Sheol, then you will know that these men have despised the LORD. ”Just as he finished speaking all these words, the ground beneath them split open. The earth opened its mouth and swallowed them and their households, all Korah’s people, and all their possessions. They went down alive into Sheol with all that belonged to them. The earth closed over them, and they vanished from the assembly. At their cries, all the people of Israel who were around them fled because they thought, “The earth may swallow us too! ”Fire also came out from the LORD and consumed the 250 men who were presenting the incense. Num 16:28-35
            God says the complaining of those men was sin (Num 16:26).  Moses said their complaining indicated an attitude of ingratitude, and one that scorned the very service they had been called to do as Levites.  Do I want to be party to that?
            God does place limits on certain groups of people—not just women.  It is his right as our Creator to do so.  After reviewing this event from the Old Covenant, if I have ever complained before, be sure that I will never do it again.
 
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Heb 12:28-29
 
Dene Ward
 

Sometime on November 8, 2018, ignited by a faulty electric transmission line, a fire that became known as the Camp Fire started in the hills of Northern California's Butte County.  A strong east wind fed the fire and it raced down into developed areas becoming the deadliest and most destructive fire in California history.  The fire finally reached containment after 17 days, causing 85 civilian casualties, completely destroying the towns of Paradise and Concow, burning 18,000 structures, and covering 239.6 square miles.  The total damages came in at $16.5 billion.  In 2005, the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection had released a report warning that the communities there, particularly Paradise, were at risk for an east wind driven fire.  The drought added to the hazard, and all came true 13 years later.
            Our neighbors gave us a scare of our own, though happily, one with a better ending.  I stepped outside that day and saw flashing red and blue lights up the hill, far more than one vehicle’s worth.  Since the original neighbor died, his heirs have moved on to the property and begun tearing apart the old trailer he used as rental property.  First they peeled the metal off the sides and sold it for scrap.  Then they tore down the rest.  Insulation and paneling littered the yard.  The trailer itself was nothing more than a pile of rubbish about four feet high.  That day they decided to burn it.
            We have a new neighbor who lives right across from them, an older woman who raises goats and lives a quiet, orderly life.  She looked outside on what was probably the windiest day of the driest month of spring to see flames just across the lime rock drive from her own house.  So she called 911.
            That was by far a smarter move than the other neighbors had made that day, for quite soon the fire got away from them and started spreading.  Then, to cap off the whole ridiculous escapade--some ammunition had been left in the old trailer and it suddenly started going off, at least one shotgun shell and half a dozen solid bullets.  Before it was over three fire trucks, an ambulance, a forestry truck, and two deputies were crowding my narrow little road.  Somehow, no one was hurt.
            You know what?  We often play with fire exactly the same way, with even worse consequences.  The Proverb writer says, Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on, 4:14,15.  We go where we have no business being, where temptation sits waiting to strike, and then wonder how we got into trouble. 
            We turn away from good advice and listen to the bad, avoid the righteous and hang around with the wicked, because we are certain we are strong and can handle the traps.   The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death. Good sense wins favor, but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.  In everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly, Prov 13:14-16.  I have always thought it amusing how little God cares for political correctness and tact.  He calls us fools when we act like one.
            God even told the Israelites not to covet the idols their neighbors had.  Why?  The carved images of their gods you shall burn with fire. You shall not covet the silver or the gold that is on them or take it for yourselves, lest you be ensnared by it, Deut 7:25.  God has always pictured wealth as a snare to his people.  Yet what do we always wish for?  What do we think will fix all our problems? But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction, 1 Tim 6:9.  Let’s not get on our high horses because we understand that a Christian shouldn’t play around with liquor, with drugs, with gambling, or with illicit sex.  For one thing, we are just as vulnerable as anyone in those areas.  For another, we are just as bad when we think money is the be-all and end-all.  We are playing with dynamite that could explode in our faces just as easily.
            Are you playing with fire in your life?  Are you too sure of yourself, so confident in your ability to overcome that you place yourself in harm’s way and practically dare the Devil to come get you?   Remember God’s opinion of such a person.  I don’t want him to call me a fool on the day it matters the most.
 
Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death, Prov 6:27,28; 14:27.
 
Dene Ward

We finished dinner and for probably the 50,000th time, I laid my folded napkin to the side of my plate.  You could hardly tell it had been used.  I looked across the table.  Keith's napkin lay in a crumpled up wad a good foot to the side of his plate.  We won't even go into the stains, but please tell me how a dinner of pot roast so tender it fell to pieces, mashed potatoes, carrots, and green beans from the garden could result in that!
            And you now know why I do not use paper napkins.  Keith would use half a dozen at every meal.  That simply does not fit into my grocery budget.  At least cloth napkins are washable and therefore reusable, and you don't have to worry about picking up the greasy white shreds that have snowed all over the floor after a meal of ribs or fried chicken.
            From the very start of our marriage we have used cloth napkins, not just for company or formal occasions—all the time.  Over the years I have amassed a stack of four or five dozen I suppose, maybe more.  And it did not take long to learn one important thing about napkins, and here it is.
            After eating with us a few times, a kind lady I knew wanted to help me out.  So she bought a remnant of permanent press cloth, a pretty floral print with a beige background.  It was actually a perfect match for my china.  She carefully cut out 12 inch squares and hemmed them on all four sides.  "You won't have to iron these," she said as she handed me a dozen beautiful cloth napkins.
            I used those napkins for years just because they were a gift, but now that sweet lady is gone and so are those napkins.  Unlike cotton, permanent press, at least in those days, did not soak up anything.  If you had a small spill, they merely pushed the liquid around.  If you had a smear of grease on your hands or face, it was still there after you wiped.  They were beautiful to look at and no, I never did have to iron them, but useless when you needed them to do what napkins are supposed to do—absorb messes.
             After forty years of standing in front of Bible classes and even larger groups of women, I can say that some women are cotton napkins and some are permanent press.  I imagine any man who has taught Bible classes, or any preacher, can say the same thing.  You can tell when someone is interested—they soak it up.  Sometimes it's the note-taking; they can't seem to do it fast enough.  Other times it's the look in the eyes, the posture, or even facial expressions.  When you are planning a speech, you expect a laugh here, a gasp there, a groan or even the feminine variety of "Amen."  You expect some sort of reaction if you have crafted your words carefully enough and chosen the scriptures that will suddenly slam the door on an attitude or behavior that needs changing.  When you get none of that, either you don't know what you are doing after all, or you have an audience full of permanent press napkins.
             Every time you attend one of these functions, every time you hear a sermon or sit in a Bible class, and every time you open your Bible for some real Bible study, it should change you.  At first the changes will be big.  You are new to this Christian business so you have a ways to go and the alterations should be noticeable to those who know you best.  Then as you mature spiritually, the changes will become smaller—maybe an attitude adjustment, maybe just a change in private behavior that few people will see, but a change nevertheless.  If that does not happen, you have become a permanent press napkin.  You might look good on the outside.  You might even match the "china" around you on Sunday mornings.  But instead of soaking up the Word, the water of life, you will just be pushing it aside out of your way.
            Even one permanent press napkin in the audience is too many.  Check your label today and see what you are made of.
 
And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Col 3:10
 
Dene Ward

Today's post is by Keith Ward.

Back in the old days when I was young, boys carried pocketknives everywhere—especially to school. Of course, we showed them off during recess and we whittled, not so much to make things but to prove whose knife was the sharpest. So, I learned to sharpen knives. And then Dad taught me to sharpen axes and I learned to take pride that my mower blades were as sharp as anyone's pocketknife. The mower cuts better and easier for a smoother lawn.

After I left full time preaching, I often preached by appointment in small churches and these were usually too far away to return home for lunch. Of course, someone would take me (or us) in for lunch. As a way to show gratitude, I would offer to sharpen their kitchen knives. I have been amazed to find that few know how to sharpen.  I still recall one sister asking me not to get them too sharp so she would not cut herself.  No amount of discussion or logic would convince her that a dull knife was more dangerous and more likely to result in serious cuts. But, it is true, one pushes harder to cut with a dull knife and it is more likely to slip and the force of the push will result in a more serious cut. A sharp knife would have cut the object more easily and resulted in no accident at all.

Dull knives are a danger in the church. Most of the trouble I have witnessed in 50 years has been caused by people of dull understanding but a sharp sense of the value of their opinion. They wield them wildly, slashing the air all about, certain that because they have not changed their minds in years, it must be truth. They bruise the innocent, slash the sensitive, kill the ignorant seekers. 

            But, should you attempt to sharpen their knowledge and understanding with sound scripture and unassailable logic, they will either go away in a huff or grudgingly concede, but spout that same dull basic or even erroneous point the next time that subject comes up. They can be sharpened no more than the edge of a two by four.

One's knowledge, understanding and abilities are not sharpened alone in the study. They are brought to a smooth and "sharp as a two-edged sword" edge by discussions with another of a different, even opposing viewpoint (sometimes, even sharp discussions). To become sharp, one must listen, then think, then give answer, listen, then think. If both are honest, one will change or both will. The truth may be that neither is wholly right but you are both sharpened by the discussion.

Think seriously: When did you last have an argument about the Word? An honest toward God argument determined to win and show the other the truth, yet also willing to listen. It likely has been too long and you have become dull in an age where no one wants to argue for anything.

The last step of sharpening a knife is to put it to the steel to true the edges. In fact, many times, this is all a knife needs as the edges were bent aside by being used. Thus, the chefs on a cooking show are often seen whetting their knives on a steel.

So, also do you. Learn something. Form an opinion. Go out to your friends and brothers and test it against the steel of other views. GROW sharper.
 
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. " (Prov 27:17).

Keith Ward

I know I promised you lessons about some barely mentioned women in the New Testament, but I just cannot leave Apollos out of the mix, especially since his life was at least momentarily entwined with our last lesson on Priscilla.
            A certain Jew named Apollos, an Alexandrian by race, an eloquent man…mighty in the Scriptures, Acts 18:24.  Alexandria was a city in Egypt on the shore of the southern Mediterranean, known for its schools and its libraries.  It was the intellectual and cultural center of ancient times.  If you were Alexandrian, you were probably very well educated; it was like saying someone has a degree from Harvard.  More Jews lived in Alexandria than anywhere else in the world.  The Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Old Testament, was translated there.  Besides being well-educated, Apollos was an orator and a good one at that.  Oratory was one of the things wealthy young Greeks studied and was considered a fine art.  People went to hear speakers the same way we go to concerts or plays.  It was entertainment and the good orators had a following.  That means that Apollos might even have been a celebrity of sorts in the Greek world.
            So now we have a well-educated man, knowledgeable in the Scriptures, and something of a celebrity, who is approached by a couple of blue collar tradesmen, and one of them a woman, and told he does not know "the way of God" as accurately as he thinks he does.  What does he do?  He listens to them.  With an open mind.  And when he sees the truth of the matter, he changes.  Can you imagine that happening today?  Any celebrity nowadays would have a battery of bodyguards to keep ordinary people away, and anyone with that much education would simply sneer at someone with only the equivalent of a high school diploma.
            Unfortunately, listening carefully to another viewpoint doesn't even happen in the church as often as it should.  Too many times a man can't even be shouted down because he won't stop long enough to really hear and carefully and honestly consider what he is being shown.  He is too certain he is right, and that he knows so much more than the one trying to help him, especially someone younger, or less educated, or even less well off financially, as if somehow that could possibly matter.  And if a woman says something?  Forget it.  He cannot possibly learn anything from a woman.  In fact, it might be unscriptural, regardless the example of Priscilla.  I have seen those attitudes again and again.
            Apollos is one marvelous lesson on humility.  Any time we cannot be troubled to listen to someone else we need to remember this.  After his instruction by Priscilla (who had an important role in the discussion because her name is mentioned first) and Aquila, Apollos went on to powerfully confute the Jews…showing by the scripture that Jesus was the Christ (18:28).  He could not have done that without those two humble servants' help and instruction.  When our pride gets in the way, what will we not be able to do for the Lord?
 
​Seek the LORD, all you humble of the land, who do his just commands; seek righteousness; seek humility; perhaps you may be hidden on the day of the anger of the LORD (Zeph 2:3).  
 
Dene Ward

When I was 14 a new young doctor came to town, one who was not afraid to “think outside the box.”  My older doctor turned me over to him and he decided to try contact lenses on me.  I had been wearing coke bottle glasses since I was 4 and my vision declined steadily year after year with the bottoms of the coke bottles getting thicker and thicker.
            In those days, hard, nonporous contact lenses were all they had.  Usually they were the size of fish scales.  Mine were not any broader in circumference but they were still as thick as miniature coke bottle bottoms and nearly as heavy on my eyes.  Most people who wore normal lenses could only tolerate them for six to eight hours.  Now add a cornea shaped like the end of a football, a corrugated football at that, and these things were not meant to be comfortable on my eyes, certainly not for the 16-18 hours a day I had to wear them.
            So why did I do it?  My prescription was +17.25.  The doctor told me there was no number on the chart for my vision.  (“Chart?  What chart?  I don’t see any chart.”)  He said if there were, it would be something like 20/10,000, a hyperbole I am sure, but it certainly made the point.  Hard contacts were my only hope.  If they could stabilize my eyesight, I would last a bit longer.  When I was 20, another doctor told me I would certainly have been totally blind by then if not for those contact lenses.
            Then soft contact lenses were invented and their popularity grew.  But they were not for me.  They would not have stabilized my vision.  I lost count of the number of times people who wore soft lenses said to me, “I tried those hard ones, but I just could not tolerate them.  You are so lucky you can wear them.”
            Luck had nothing to do with it.  My young doctor was smart.  He sat me down and said, “The only way you will be able to do this with these eyes is to really want to.  You must make up your mind that you will do it no matter what.”  That was quite a burden to place on a fourteen year old, but his tactics worked.  Despite the discomfort, I managed, and managed so well that most people never knew how uncomfortable I was.  Finally, when what seemed like the 1000th person told me they just could not tolerate hard lenses, I said, “You didn’t need them badly enough.”  Most of us can do much more than we ever thought possible when we really have to.
            Need is a strong motivation.  A couple of thousand years ago, it motivated a woman to go where she was not expected, normally not even allowed, and certainly not wanted. 
            Simon the Pharisee decided to have Jesus for dinner.  I read that it was the custom of the day for the leading Pharisee in the town to have the distinguished rabbi over for a meal when he sojourned there.  While the man would invite his friends to eat the meal, an open door policy made it possible for any interested party to come in and stand along the wall to listen--any interested man, that is.  Of course, it was assumed that only righteous men would be interested.
            In walked a “sinful” woman.  Luke, in chapter 7, uses a word that does not in itself imply any specific sin, but it was commonly used by that society to refer to what they considered the lowest of sinners, publicans and harlots.  The mere fact that she was a woman also caused someone in the crowd to exclaim, “Look!  A woman!” in what we assume was horrified shock.
            The men were all lying around a low table with their bodies resting on a couch and their feet turned away from the table in the direction of the wall, while their left elbows rested on the table.  The woman came into the room, walked around the wall, and began crying over Jesus’ feet.  Immediately, she knelt to wipe his feet with her hair.  I am told that this too was unacceptable.  “To unbind and loosen the hair in public before strangers was considered disgraceful and indecent for a woman,” commentator Lenski says.  We later discover that these were dirty, dusty feet from walking unpaved roads in sandals.  How do we know?  Because Simon did not even offer Jesus the customary hospitable foot washing. 
            Then she took an alabaster cruse of ointment, a costly gift, and anointed his feet—not just a token drop or two, but the entire contents--once the cruse was broken open, it was useless as a storage container.
            What did Simon do?  Nothing outward, but Jesus knew what he thought, and told him a story. 
            One man owed a lender 500 shillings, and another owed him 50.  Both were forgiven their debts when they could not pay.  Who, Jesus asked him, do you think was the most grateful?  The one who owed the most, of course, Simon easily answered.
            And so by using his own prejudices against him, Jesus proved that Simon himself was less grateful to God than this sinful woman.  His own actions, or lack thereof toward Jesus was the proof.  This man, like so many others of his party, was completely satisfied with himself and where he stood before God.  And that satisfaction blinded him to his own need, for truly no one can stand before God in his own righteousness.  His gratitude suffered because he did not feel his need.  Would he have gone into a hostile environment and lowered himself to do the most menial work a servant could do, and that in front of others?  Hardly.
            So how much do I think I need the grace of God?  The answer is the same one to how far I will go to get it, how much I will sacrifice to receive it, and how much pain I will put up with for even the smallest amount to touch my life.  Am I a self-satisfied Simon the Pharisee, more concerned with respectability than with his own need for forgiveness, or a sinful woman, who probably took the deepest breath of her life and walked into a room full of hostile men because she knew it was her only chance at Life? 
 
And turning to the woman, he said unto Simon, See this woman? I entered into your house; you gave me no water for my feet: but she has wet my feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair.  You gave me no kiss: but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss my feet.  My head with oil you did not anoint: but she has anointed my feet with ointment.  So I say unto you, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, loves little.  And he said unto her, Your sins are forgiven… Your faith has saved you; go in peace, Luke 7:44-48,50.
 
Dene Ward
 

Many years ago we lived in an old frame house in front of a train track, on a corner lot right next to the crossing.  The boys were four and two, and they loved to run outside as soon as they heard the horn so they could wave to the engineer and watch the cars pass—boxcars, flatcars, tankers, and finally the caboose, usually with another trainman standing on its “back porch,” who also received an excited wave.  Before a week had passed, those men were craning their necks, looking for the two towheaded little boys so they could be sure to wave back. We learned the train schedule quickly:  one every morning about 8:30, one every afternoon about 4:00, and one every Saturday about midnight. 
            That first Saturday night train took about ten years off my life.  I came up out of a deep sleep when the horn sounded.  We had only been in the house two days and in the fog of sleep, I did not know where I was or what was happening.  Then I heard that train getting closer and closer, louder and louder.  I realized what it was then, but my perspective was so out of whack that it sounded like the train was headed straight for the middle of the house.  I sat straight up, frozen in terror until it had passed.
            Within two weeks I was sleeping through the din.  Not even the sudden wail of the horn woke me. During the day it took the tug of a little hand on my shirttail for me to hear the train coming so we could go out and wave.  Your mind tunes out what it doesn’t want to hear, and does a grand job of it.
            How many times do we tune out people?  When we learn another’s pet peeves, the things he goes on about at the least provocation, we no longer listen.  If we have the misfortune to deal with someone who nags, we tune that out.  Maybe we should learn the lesson to choose our battles.  If we want what we say to matter to people, don’t go on and on about the trivial or they will have tuned us out long ago and never hear the things they really need to hear.  Parents need to learn that.
            Then there is the matter of tuning out God.  Oh, we all want to hear how Jesus loved the sinners, but let’s not hear His command to, “Go thy way and sin no more.”  Let’s remind ourselves that the apostle Paul was not above preaching to some of the vilest sinners in the known world, fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate, abusers of themselves with men, thieves, covetous, drunkards, revilers, extortioners.  But let’s ignore the fact that he says they changed:  such were some of you; let’s ignore the fact that he said that in their prior state they were unrighteous and could not inherit the kingdom of God, 1 Cor 6:9-11.  That’s just one of the many things people don’t hear.
            Today, maybe we should ask ourselves what it is we don’t want to hear.  I imagine that it is the very thing we need to hear the most.
 
Why do you not understand my speech?  Because you cannot hear my word. He that is of God hears the words of God: for this cause you hear not, because you are not of God, John 8:43,47.
 
Dene Ward