I remember it like it was yesterday.  A young woman in the church, an early thirty-something as I recall, asked me to go to her friend’s house and talk with her.  The woman had some “questions” and she thought a preacher’s wife would be the perfect person to answer them.  Now throw this into the mix:  I was 21.  I had been married a little over a year and had been a full time preacher’s wife for about 6 months.  This was my first time in the counselor role, and it was a doozy.
            Why?  Because this young woman’s marriage was on the rocks.  She was a member of one of the standard cult-type denominations and her church leaders had told her it was up to her to keep her marriage intact, even though her husband was not a member and was threatening to leave her.  “What do I do if he does?” she asked, near tears.
            At that point I knew there was no sense talking “the plan of salvation” or the church with her.  What I saw was a desperate young woman in pain.  She was three or four years older than I and judging by her young children, had been married about that many years longer, but she still looked to me to answer her question, even though at that point in my life I looked about 16.  I turned to 1 Cor 7:10-15 and read it to her, culminating in, “If the unbelieving depart, let him depart, the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.”
            She looked at me in amazement.  “Why didn’t my own leaders show me this?  Why did they tell me I was in sin if I didn’t figure out a way to make him stay?”  Because, I was thinking to myself, they read something besides the Bible, but it was not the time for that conversation.  Even my young, inexperienced self knew that.
            But I had taken an “older” woman with me—she might have been 30—and after we left, she got all over me.  How could I possibly give marriage advice?  What was wrong with me?  How could I tell her to leave her husband (which I did not do and could never figure out where that accusation came from)?  All I did was read the Bible to her.  And that conversation led to more, some even more ticklish, like the time she asked me about something in their sexual relationship.  But she kept asking and I kept going, and we did eventually talk about the gospel.  All too soon we left that place, and as far as I know, no one from the church ever went to talk with that young woman again.  I planted the seed but no one bothered to water it because it was too “difficult” a situation.
            That was my first experience with difficult questions.  By difficult, I don’t meant theologically difficult.  I mean the intimate ones, the ones that deal with things seldom discussed—especially among Christian women.  All my life I have seen young women too afraid to ask those questions.  Too often they are ignored because no one wants to deal with them.  Other times they receive a hastily muttered response amounting to, “Oh, you’ll get over it,” or “It’ll go away if you leave it alone.”  And worst of all, because she admits she has a problem with anything involving sex and asks how to deal with it, she is told that if she were truly a Christian, she wouldn’t have such disgusting issues in her life.
            It’s long past time for that to stop.  If we older women truly want the younger women to come to us, we need to change how we receive them.  We need to act like their problems are real—because they are!—and nothing that isn’t common to others.  We need to be able to say those words we usually avoid because we are “ladies.”  In a society where sex imbues everything from automobiles to hamburgers, it’s time we faced the truth:  even Christian women have problems that maybe our own generation or the ones before it did not, not because we were better than they, but because our noses weren’t rubbed in it every day.
            It’s time we realized that Christian women can become addicted to pornography, as early as middle school.  It doesn’t make them any less a Christian than the one who is addicted to gossip.  Now deal with it, don’t sweep it under the rug and allow a floundering child to die in sin because we don’t want to face the facts.
            We need to be able to look teenage girls in the eye and say, “If he has ever laid a hand on you in anger, get away from him.  It will only get worse after marriage.”  Yes, I have seen “Christian” abusive husbands.  We need to give these girls a list of things to look for, and we need to give that list to the men to teach the boys how to avoid becoming those abusers.
            We need to talk about what does and does not constitute intercourse and more than that, teach the attitude that strives for purity, not just toeing the line as closely as possible so we can still call ourselves virgins.  My daddy used to say, “We keep putting the em-PHA-sis on the wrong syl-LAB-le, and look where it’s gotten us.”
            We need to talk about the place of the sexual relationship in marriage, not only its problems and pitfalls, but its glories too.  We need to tell our young people that God meant us to love the look of one another and not be ashamed of it.  We need to teach young women about the needs of their husbands in plain language they can understand.  We need to physically pull their heads out of the sand if they won’t do it themselves.
            But more than anything else, we must teach our young people that we are happy to talk about anything with them, even things that might feel uncomfortable to us.  And we need to hide that discomfort at all costs if we expect to form a relationship with those precious souls.  They need to know how important they are to us, and that their questions will be held in confidence.  They need to see this in us as we give them our full attention and really listen.  (Obviously, situations can arise where health and safety of both body and soul may require us to speak to someone in authority.  That should go without saying.)
            There will always be hard questions.  I have seen a few young people who seem to ask them just to see the reaction they might get.  Don’t give them any excuse to assume you are “just like all the other old people—fuddy-duddies who don’t really care anyway.”  Instead, surprise them and prove them wrong. 

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure…Titus 2:3-5
 
Dene Ward
                       

Twenty-five years ago my husband was ambushed and shot in the line of duty.  His survival brought about deep gratitude and relief in this house.  Yet there were other trials we still had to endure.  I chastised myself for complaining about them because things could have easily been so much worse.  Yes, the first week was one of abject terror because reprisals had been threatened.  I have never felt so lonely in my life as I rose to look out the windows every night when the dogs barked, especially since he was still recovering from his wounds and unable to do much.  Plus we had to deal with police investigators, attorneys, supervisors all the way up to the Secretary of the Department of Corrections (himself!), and then there was the media.  Add to all those the doctor appointments, physical therapy appointments, hearings, and the accompanying financial problems as he lay out of work for nearly a month.  But, I kept reminding myself, he's alive.
            I had come within a literal quarter inch of having no more socks to pick up, no more shirts to iron, no more toothpaste tubes squeezed in the middle, and no more cough drop wrappers lying by the (missed) trash can, and I was so glad!  If this is the worst trial we have to go through, I will never complain again, I confidently affirmed.
            One year, two months, and ten days later I got irritated over a pair of socks.  Later that same day the water heater sprang a leak.  We live in Florida out in the country, it was summer, and we own a "manufactured home," which is sales-speak for trailer.  Nothing fits right off the shelf and often must be ordered.  Repairmen will sometimes refuse to travel this far out, and when they do it costs plenty.  The only way to stop the leaking (actually pouring) water heater until it was fixed was to turn off the water to the entire house. 
               The next day the air conditioner quit.  Did I mention we live in Florida and it was summer and in a trailer you have seven foot ceilings and no attic space so it is always 10 degrees hotter inside than out—where it was 95 with matching humidity, which meant a heat index of about 110. 
            So what did I do, beginning with those socks?  Complain!  What happened to all those confident assertions? 
            I have always had great disdain for the Israelites.  How could they have possibly been unfaithful to God after all He did for them?  How could they possibly "murmur" (complain) as I Corinthians 10 accuses?  Surely they were the most ungrateful, hardheaded people who have ever lived.  And what did Paul say about them a few verses later?  Now these things happened unto them by way of example; and they were written for our admonition…(1Cor 10:11).  MY admonition?  I could never be like those people.  Wherefore let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall (1Cor 10:12).
            Perhaps I have been a little too hard on those people, a little too Pharisaical.  "Thank you, Lord, that I am not like THEM."  But I am--over and over and over.  And aren't we all?
            The disciples rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer for Him.  And here I can't even put up with something that has absolutely nothing to do with persecution for my faith.  He that is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much: (Luke 16:10).  If I can't manage the small, I certainly won't manage the things of greater importance.
            It only took a year for things to be back to "normal" for me, complaining, that is.  Pay attention:  the lesson learned from one bad scare won't last if it doesn't cause a change in heart altogether, along with a daily renewing of that change.  I would certainly hate for the Lord to decide I need to go through it all again.
 
I will pursue them with sword, famine, and pestilence, and will make them a horror to all the kingdoms of the earth, to be a curse, a terror, a hissing, and a reproach among all the nations where I have driven them, because they did not pay attention to my words, declares the LORD, that I persistently sent to you by my servants the prophets, but you would not listen, declares the LORD (Jer 29:18-19).
 
Dene Ward
 

Yes that is actually the topic for the day.  How is it that the thing that cleans us best (soap) is the same thing that makes some of the ugliest, hardest to remove dirt in the bathtub (soap scum)?  And if you do begin to get some of that flaky, grayish-white stuff removed as you scrub your knuckles off, but do not get it all, things look even worse.  How many times have I looked down, arms aching and out of breath, only to find white lines down the sides instead of a completely white tub, and had to start yet again?  Not just anything will remove soap scum. 
            Which made me sit and think awhile and yes, there may even be a spiritual application to soap scum!  Jesus told a parable about a sower.  Some of the seeds which fell among the thorns, these are they that have heard, and as they go on their way they are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection.  Luke 8:14
            When we read that parable we tend to think that all the “other grounds” besides the good ground are wicked things.  Not so here.  The cares of life can be anything from worrying about paying the bills to becoming workaholics.  Riches, though dangerous, are not necessarily sinful.  Pleasures can be hobbies and entertainment.  None of these things is inherently sinful, in fact, they can be therapeutic when we need rest or when our children need our attention on a one-on-one level.  They can build relationships with brethren. They can establish bonds with neighbors who we might then be able to teach.  They can support our families.  BUT------
            If those things are not managed wisely, they can choke out the Word.  They can keep us from prayer and meditation, from study time, from extra time in the Word offered by the elders in the way of classes, lectures, and gospel meetings.  No, you may not be actively sinning, but are you neglecting God in other ways?  Are you choking Him out of your life?
            These are the hardest things to “weed out” precisely because they are not wrong.  Consider this:  don’t you as a parent look out for your child by limiting the things--the perfectly good things--he becomes involved in?  I hope you do.  No child should be robbed of his childhood by a parent who overschedules him with every activity he can find in an effort to offer him “enrichment.”  As a piano teacher I saw too many of my students nearly fall asleep on the bench because they were too tired—even 6 year olds!  More than once I told a parent that his child was not making the progress he should because he did not have the time to practice.  He might as well quit lessons—he certainly needed to drop out of something!  I even had some parents learn that the hard way when a child had what we called in the old days a “nervous breakdown.”
            Your children learn it from you.  Are you too busy to study your Bible in the evening?  Are you too busy to visit the sick and the widows?  Are you too busy to attend an extra Bible class?  Then something needs to go.  The cares and pleasures of your life are choking out the Word.
            This morning walk into your bathroom and look at the tub.  Remind yourself that even good things can produce bad consequences.  All that sudsy, good-smelling soap we use in the shower can leave an ugly scum that needs to be removed before we can even claim that our bathroom is clean.  The same thing is true of your life.   
 
Look therefore carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be not foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Eph 5:15-17
 
Dene Ward

Part 5 in a series by guest writer Lucas Ward.

Acts 2:42-47  "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.  And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common.  And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.  And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."
 
            We say we want to follow the example of the first century church and model ourselves as nearly as possible after the ancient order of things.  Well, this passage is literally the first description of the first church ever.  They are described in two ways:  they were devoted to the apostles' teaching and they were devoted to fellowship.  They gathered daily in the temple to learn from the apostles and they took care of each other's needs.  Day by day they were in each other's homes, eating together.  These were people who were active in each other's lives.  They knew each other and depended on each other.  They were a family.  These were not people who just nodded at each other with a "Hi, how are you?" once a week. 
            How well do you know your spiritual family?  When I preached this sermon, I asked some specific questions about certain members to illustrate the point. 

1)  How do you pronounce Lou's last name?  Where is he from?
2)  Why did Morris and Margret have Mickey Mouse ears on their car?  In what field is Margret a certified expert?
3)  What is Josh's job?  Where does he do it?
4)  Did you know that Greg is soon to move?  Where is he going?

               Obviously my questions don't mean anything to most of you readers, but you can understand the concept, especially if you try to think of similar questions regarding your own congregation.  Do we even know each other?  How can we operate as a family if we don't?
            There is an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed:  the Social Gospel.  So many religious organizations recruit new members based on all the social opportunities that the "church" provides.  There are sports leagues for the kids, young women's groups, older women's groups, new fathers' groups, regular parties in the fellowship hall, plays, dances, lock-ins and so on and so forth all paid for by the church -- for which we have no Biblical authority --  and all given as the reason for church attendance.  The reason we should be attending church is not for the social opportunities, but to worship our God and to serve Him as He directs, but in divorcing ourselves from the Social Gospel the churches of Christ have nearly gone too far in the other direction and denied any social component in the church.  Again I ask, how can we be a family together if we don't know each other?
            I submit that we cannot complete our God-given roles if we aren't spending time together.  For example, James 5:16 "Confess therefore your sins one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed."  To do that takes trust and a closeness one doesn't get in a few minutes of chatting in the parking lot each week.  To confess your sins is to leave yourself open and vulnerable and is rarely done to people one doesn't trust.  Alcoholics Anonymous achieves this through anonymity.  No one knows anyone else there so there can't be any blowback, but in the church we all know each other.  So if I am going to confess my failings and weaknesses to a brother, I need to know him and be able to trust that he isn't going to gossip or use my confession later as some sort of weapon. 
            Or how about Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with them that rejoice, weep with them that weep."  When something really good happens, you want to share the good news with others, right?  You call all your buddies and celebrate together.  When was the last time a church member other than immediate physical family was among the first three calls you made?  Why not?  Because we celebrate with buddies and I barely know those people I worship with.  The same is even more true when mourning is the topic.  Again, crying makes you vulnerable and is only done among those trusted, not those mere acquaintances at church, right?
            And how am I supposed to "provoke one another to love and good works" (Heb. 10:24) if I don't in what areas you need to be exhorted or what type of exhortation works best with you?  After all, each of us responds to exhortations differently depending on the situation.  To know that, we have to know each other. 
            I could go on, but this seems sufficient to illustrate the point:  again and again we cannot perform our God-given duties for our spiritual families if we barely know them.  This is not the Social Gospel, but yes, the Gospel does call us to be social.  We need to be in each others' homes.  We need to meet for lunch.  We need to be active in each other's lives.
            We will either learn to love each other and our congregations will become spiritual families, or our churches will fail and fall apart.  It is that simple.
 
John 13:35  "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." 
 
Lucas Ward

Benjamin Franklin was one of the most amazing men who ever lived.  Besides being one of the founding fathers of America, he was a printer, publisher, author, inventor, scientist, and diplomat.  He began writing his own autobiography in 1771, many years before his death in 1790, and never finished it.  It exists in four parts, the final part being the shortest and not begun until a few months before he died. 
           The publication of that book has a long and complex history.  An English version was published in 1793 but that was a year after both a German and Swedish version had been published.  Also, that English version was a translation of a French translation of the original English, which means that being doubly translated, Franklin's original intention in the words was likely "lost in translation."  So how did we get that French translation?  On November 13, 1789, Franklin himself sent a copy to his friend Louis Guillaume Le Veillard.  In 1791, Franklin's grandson, William Temple Franklin, traded the final manuscript he owned for that original.  Meanwhile, Veillard had already had it translated, and that translation was purchased by the Library of Congress in 1908 (www.loc.gov).
          Today, consider a portion of that autobiography dealing with the invention of the Franklin stove, which Franklin himself considered one of his more important inventions.  In those days, most homes were heated by fireplaces.  Anyone who has tried to do that understands that most of the heat goes right up the chimney.  In addition people were dying every year due to the hazards of fireplaces, and on top of that, Pennsylvania was experiencing a wood shortage. 
           Ben Franklin tackled all those issues by creating a freestanding fireplace that burned wood efficiently, using less wood and producing more heat with less danger.  The first Franklin stove was called a Pennsylvania Fireplace, and though its original model was not perfect, it was the precursor of today's wood stoves and fireplace inserts.  Although he was offered one, he refused to patent it stating in his autobiography, "That as we enjoy great advantages from the inventions of others, we should be glad of an opportunity to serve others by an invention of ours…"
             We installed an insert in our fireplace when we lived in South Carolina for three years.  The difference in the heating value between it and a fireplace was like night and day.  Now I live in Florida but up here in North Florida we still have a little bit of winter.  Usually on cold nights, we fill up our freestanding Ashley woodstove, which burns out by morning and we don’t need any more till the next night, or maybe not for a few nights, depending upon the vagaries of cold fronts.  Sometimes, though, I have had to keep that fire burning all day, adding a log or two every couple of hours.  You see, if you let it burn down too far, it goes out.  Even adding wood will do you no good if the coals are no longer glowing.
            Sometimes we let our souls go out.  Instead of stoking the fire, adding fuel as needed, we seem to think we can start it up at will and as needed, with just a single match I suppose.  Try holding a match to a log—a real log, not a manufactured pressed log with some sort of lighter fluid soaked into it.  You will find that you cannot even get it to smoke before the match dies.  Starting a fire anew takes a whole lot more effort than just keeping the old one going.
            God has a plan that keeps the fire going.  He has made us a spiritual family.  He commands us to assemble on a weekly basis.  He has given us a regular memorial feast to partake of.  He has given us his Word to read any time we want to.  He will listen to us any time of the day.  And perhaps, knowing how he has made us, that is why those songs he has given us keep going round in our heads all week—words at the ready to help us overcome and to remind us who we are.  All of these things will keep the fire from dying.  Just as those people who actually saw and heard Jesus on a daily basis said, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?" Luke 23:32, his voice can come to us through the Word, through the teaching in our assemblies, and through the brothers and sisters he has given us.
            Once a month attendance won’t keep the fire burning.  Seeing our spiritual family only at the meetinghouse will not stoke the fires of brotherly love.  Picking up our Bibles only when we dust the coffee table won’t blow on the embers enough to keep them glowing.  Sooner or later my heart will grow cold, and no one will be able to light a big enough match to get it warm again. 
            Our God is a consuming fire, and he expects that to be exactly what happens to us—for us to become consumed with him and his word and his purpose.  Nothing else should matter as much. 
            Take a moment today to open up that woodstove of a heart and see how the fire looks.  Throw in another log before the fire goes out. 
 
My heart became hot within me. As I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: "O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah.  Surely a man goes about as a shadow! Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather! And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:3-7.
 
Dene Ward

I am a crossword puzzle enthusiast—a cruciverbalist, but that is not the extent of the word games I enjoy.  One of my favorites involves making as many words as possible out of one larger word—not anagrams exactly, which use every letter of the word and are small in number, but using the letters of the word only as many times as the original word uses them and making as many other words as possible, three letters or larger, not counting plurals, past tense, or other obvious derivatives. 

            For example, how many other words can you make out of the word “jealousy?”  Sea, use, you, soul, say, aloes, lose, louse, yea, seal, joules, lea, sole, jay, lay, say, soy—and that’s just off the top of my head typing as fast as I can.  But how about this one—joy?  Seems a little ironic, doesn’t it, that you can make joy out of jealousy?

            A lot of people get those two mixed up.  In times where we should be “rejoicing with those who rejoice,” we find ourselves feeling just a tinge of jealousy.  Why did he get that promotion and not me?  Why is she being lauded from the pulpit and not me?  Why do people run to them for advice when I am just as smart/experienced/knowledgeable/ wise, etc.?  And that green-eyed monster gradually takes over, turning us into its willing minion.  We can easily think of reasons that other person does not deserve this and spread it to whomever will listen, causing us to ignore our own blessings, steeping ourselves in ingratitude that gradually becomes bitterness, not just against the other person, but at life in general. 

            Elizabeth is the best example I know of someone who got it right.  She took what could have been a cause for jealousy and changed it into a cause for joy.

            Zacharias and Elizabeth had made it to old age without having children.  According to Lenski, Elizabeth was probably looked down on as someone who had somehow displeased God—that was the general attitude toward barren women.  Finally, after years of waiting, probably with a multitude of prayers, Zacharias came home with the good news—albeit written down, since he could no longer speak:  “We are going to be parents!”  And not only that, but this child will be special—he will be the promised Elijah spoken of in Malachi.

            Then lo and behold, six months later, along comes her teenage cousin with even better news.  She too, is pregnant, and is blessed to bear the Messiah.  What?!  Elizabeth has been waiting for decades.  She is older and wiser.  She has been the faithful wife of a priest, and borne the ridicule of an ignorant culture, blaming her for her own misfortune.  And she gets the Forerunner while this child who has scarcely lived long enough to even be considered faithful, who is fertile (in this culture the family would know her menstrual history) and will probably (and ultimately did) bear more than half a dozen children, this girl gets the Messiah?  How fair is that?

            But Elizabeth had the grateful attitude and the abiding Messianic hope of a faithful child of God.  In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, and she entered the house of Zacharias and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? Luke 1:39-43.

            Not only is she excited for Mary, she humbles herself before a younger woman, one with far less experience and far less service on her record—she simply hadn’t lived long enough to do much yet.  And her joy?  It was not a feigned, polite joy, but a joy so overwhelming that “the babe leaped in her womb for joy” v 44.  I am told that “leap for joy” is one Greek word, the same one used in verse 40, quoted earlier.  It is a sympathetic joy.  In other words, Elizabeth was so moved with joy that it caused her unborn child to move within her.  Every mother understands how her own emotions can affect her unborn baby, in the last trimester especially.  Elizabeth’s joy for her young cousin was that deep and moving.  Jealousy never entered her heart for a second.

            How does that match with statements like, “He gets to lead singing more than my husband;” “My husband hasn’t been asked to teach in a long time;” “How can he be an elder when my husband is just as good as he is and no one has asked him.” 

            Oh yes, it happens.  And it should not.  If we are all members of the same body, then if one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 1Cor 12:26. 

            Love “envies not” 1 Cor 13:4.  When you do envy, you do not love as you are commanded to.  Jealousy and envy are works of the flesh (Gal 5:20,21).  Those who practice them “will not inherit the kingdom of God.”  Check yourself on this.  Has your speech given you away?

            Too many of us get this backwards.  We rejoice when bad things happen to others and weep when good things happen to them.  What about you?
 
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Gal 5:25-26
 
Dene Ward

Every dog we have ever had has loved a good belly rub, but Chloe seems to have taken it to another level.  It isn’t just that she begs for a belly rub, it’s that she thinks God put her here to have her belly scratched, and that scratching her belly may be the only reason He put us here.
            A few people seem to have the same opinion about themselves and the church.  The only reason God instituted a church is to pander to their every need.  It seldom seems to cross their minds that other people have needs as well, and that those needs may be even more critical than theirs.  Chloe wouldn’t care if the house were on fire if she saw us running outside.  She would still scamper up, plop herself on the ground and roll over—isn’t that why we came outside, to scratch her belly?  A Christian who thinks he is the center of the universe is behaving the same way.
            Others think the only reason God put them in the church was for the church to listen to them.  They never ask a question in a Bible class, or offer a comment to stimulate discussion and deep thinking.  Instead they have all the answers and are happy to tell you exactly how things ought to be done, even things that are not specifically spelled out in the scriptures.  They know best.  It amazes me when these are people new to a congregation, who don’t yet know the background and experiences of the people they are trying to advise, often including elders, or who are in their mid-twenties with little life experience behind them.  Kind of reminds me of Chloe who thinks a belly rub is appropriate any time of day, any place, even while you are trying to shoot a rattlesnake that she obviously has not seen.  But she knows best, Boss!
            Then there are the ones who think their feelings, or the feelings of a family member, are all that count.  The church is supposed to pussyfoot around and never offer exhortation or criticism that might “offend” by our definition of the word.  They think they are put here to be stroked and petted and “have their belly rubbed” regardless of what might be happening to their souls.  Reminds me of that passage about people “whose god is their belly”—nothing matters at the moment but how they feel.  I am not about to let Chloe roll over on her back in the middle of a garden row I have just planted that is supposed to help feed us this year, no matter how much it hurts her feelings for me to tell her, “No!”  Some things are more important than her feelings, and if she were my child instead of my dog, I would explain that to her rather than let her do as she pleased and cost us a few hundred dollars worth of groceries. 
            So what do you do about people like that?  You do the same thing the Lord did for you when you were still that immature and selfish.  You tolerate, you teach, you show them a better way with the example of your own service and willingness to accept abuse or take on responsibilities that are not yours but that you do because they need doing and you are there.  You love them in a way they don’t deserve and yes, you rebuke when necessary and hope they won’t act childishly and run off to play somewhere else, where everyone will scratch the belly they offer, and let them be the only ones who matter and the only ones worth listening to.
            The Lord did all that for us, and he expects us to do it for them.  Some day maybe they will learn to be better than a silly little dog who thinks the world is here to scratch her belly.  Didn’t you?
 
And we exhort you, brethren, admonish the disorderly, encourage the fainthearted, support the weak, be longsuffering toward all. 1Thes 5:14
 
Dene Ward
 

Sometimes the people who become involved in prison ministries are too idealistic.  They wind up being taken advantage of by the very people they are trying to save, usually because those people see that idealism and know exactly how to exploit it.  Either those idealists become disenchanted and leave the field entirely, or they learn a little pragmatism—they become adept at recognizing the signs and usually avoid being manipulated.  Keith has been working with convicted felons for a long time, so he knows exactly how to deal with them.  First as a probation officer, then a classifications officer, and now as a volunteer Bible class teacher, he has learned to read his audience fairly well.
            “But has all this work ever resulted in anything good?” someone asked once.
            Well, besides the lives that he has influenced for the better, the young men who have learned a little self-discipline and gotten good jobs and become good citizens—and there were a few—besides that, many have become Christians and useful members of the Lord's body.  You should see the surprised looks when I mention that.
            And here is the thing that might surprise you more.  The larger problem when this happens is wondering how the brethren will receive such a one.  In one place we lived, the church found out we might possibly have a newly released, and newly baptized, ex-convict among us and they were not happy at all.  We heard comments ranging from, “I won’t ever allow myself to be alone with him,” to, “I don’t want him around my children.”
            Reminds me a little of Acts 9:26:  And when he was come to Jerusalem, he assayed to join himself to the disciples: and they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was a disciple.  Yes, a murderer had come into their midst and they didn’t want to have anything to do with him.  In fact, this man had seen to the deaths of their very own friends and relatives.  Their fear and loathing sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?
            But not to Barnabas.  He took that man around and assured everyone that he had changed.  Did he know him better than they?  Not that I can tell from any reading I’ve ever found.  He did not know Saul of Tarsus from Levi of Persepolis.  What he did know was his Savior and the power of his gospel.  For I am not ashamed of the gospel: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believes… Rom 1:16.
            And the more our culture becomes like the culture of that time, the more likely that we will not be dealing with upstanding middle class nuclear families when we evangelize, but with people who come to us with immoral backgrounds, with addictions, and with criminal records.  Or know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you… 1Cor 6:9-11.
            And it will be up to us to show them that we truly believe the rest of that citation:  but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God. 
            We talk a good fight when we talk about “God saving me, the sinner,” and how we don’t deserve our salvation and need the grace of God, “just like everyone else.”  But too often there is an exception clause in our thinking.  The Lord has made it perfectly clear through his brother James, murder equals adultery equals prejudice (James 2:8-11).  The same law says they are all sin.  None of us will be a step ahead of our brothers with convictions on their records when we stand before God.  We have all been washed, sanctified and justified, and we will all be judged “as we judge others.”
 
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. Jas 2:13
 
Dene Ward
           

Have you ever tried to study the book of Proverbs?  The most I have ever managed is to just read the thing through, and then instantly forget most of it.  Yes, I know the last discourse in Proverbs 31 fairly well, and Proverbs 7 too.  I use both of them in classes often.  But the rest of the book seems like a list of unconnected maxims.  When I cannot see a structure, I usually do not understand what I am reading, and when I don't understand, I don't remember.  I always thought it was me and my penchant for charts—I see them in my mind practically everywhere, but never in Proverbs.  Evidently others have the same problem with this book.  I certainly never thought about it as something theological.
            Enter Professor Longman and suddenly Proverbs makes much more sense to me.  Although he admits that it is difficult to see, he actually shows you some structure.  Then he explains the theology behind it and you suddenly feel a need to actually study this book.  In the process he also explains Hebrew poetry, the right and wrong ways to view a proverb, and how to apply something that was originally meant for a young man to your own life.  He will help you find both the Proverbs in various Biblical narratives, and then discover Christ in the Proverbs.  Finally, he leads you in "following the themes" in Proverbs, choosing three and laying them out before you.  This short (163 pages) guide will change how you view Proverbs forever.
Each chapter ends with questions for thought, which makes it a good book for both personal and class study. 
            How to Read Proverbs is published by InterVarsity Press Academic.
 
Dene Ward

"That's too much work!"  "That's too hard!"
            I have heard both of those half a dozen times in nearly fifty years, and always in connection with either my or Keith's Bible classes.  Other teachers have told me that they have heard it, too.  It always refers to any Bible class that asks for a couple hours prep time with several chapters of reading and answering questions that are not easy multiple choice or true/false or simple one word answers.
            I understand that many of us are busy.  But I also understand that a Christian ought to be spending some time every day in study and prayer.  That should go without saying.  Maybe that's the first problem—it can't go without saying.
            If you read your Bible every day, which I hope you do, try letting that time be your prep time for class.  If nothing else, you can attend a class having read the scriptures that were assigned.  Then be prepared to take copious notes when you get there, rather than just sitting there while the information floats in one ear and out the other.  Go home and spend the next day's Bible reading time going over your notes and rereading the scriptures to see if they make more sense now.  That will also help cement them into your mind. 
            But if you can't do that because you aren't spending time in prayers and study every day, you have some serious thinking to do about where you stand with God.  Some priorities need rearranging because when you call Jesus "Lord," you are telling him that you will dedicate your whole life to him, not just Sunday mornings.  When you claim to be a child of God, you are telling Him that you love Him as much as any child would love a Father.  How does refusing to attend or study for a Bible class in order to receive His communication with us fit with that?  How much trouble was it for God to put on mortality and experience, for the first time in Eternity, discomfort, pain, hunger, exhaustion, and even such minor indignities as heartburn and indigestion?  How hard was it for him to bear being mocked, ridiculed, spat on, and flogged to within an inch of his life?  And how difficult was it for him to suffocate over several hours' time on a cross with what amounted to railroad spikes pounded into his ankles and wrists?    Nothing should be too hard or too much trouble for us in our service to God and Christ. 
            I would hope that I will never hear that statement again.  Unfortunately, since I wrote this a few weeks ago, I already have.
 
…Who has given {God} so much that He needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! (Rom 11:35-36).
 
Dene Ward