Let's Pretend

3/5/2015 0 Comments

Let’s play a game.  Consider the elders in your church--if you have none, then the men who do the majority of the work.  Pretend the government has carted them off to prison, and just this morning you find out one has been executed.  Not only is the populace not upset about it, they are clamoring for the execution of the other man too.  It quickly becomes clear that none of you is safe.  You keep your doors locked and the curtains drawn.  Even a knock causes your stomach to lurch and your heart to pound as you carefully peek through the drawn blinds.
    Your home is large, in the middle of town, just a short walk from the jail.  It is not exactly difficult to find.  Would you allow the brethren to meet there to pray?  Would you have the courage to draw attention to yourself with the long line of cars parked on the street, and the constant coming and going during a time when finding an excuse to arrest and murder people of your persuasion is the latest fad?
    Or how about this scenario--you are an outsider where you live, an out-of-towner who owns her own business and depends upon the good will of the citizens there to keep you afloat financially.  Since it is a small, family-run business it would not take much to ruin you.  Yet you have come across a faith that makes wonderful sense and you believe it whole-heartedly.  Still, the men who have taught you, a couple of well-known preachers of this belief, have been arrested.  The whole city thinks of them as troublemakers.  Only yours and one other family has actually “signed on.”  
    Are you willing to take them into your home?  To insist that they take advantage of your hospitality, and even make a place for them when they escape from prison?  What about your family if you are thrown into prison for “aiding and abetting?”  What about your business when people find out you are backing these scalawags?
    Mary of Jerusalem, the mother of John Mark (Acts 12), and Lydia, a native of Thyatira living in Philippi (Acts 16), did these things—women, mind you, who were not afraid to act and support regardless of what it might have cost them.  They did not sit back waiting for men to do the scary stuff—they put their necks on the line, along with the necks of their families, and the good of their livelihoods and homes.  They could have lost everything.  Yet this is all reported so matter-of-factly that you wonder if they took more than a second to make the decisions they did.
    What about us?  The time may come when who we are and who we associate with could cost us reputations, jobs, homes, even our lives.  Take a minute to “pretend” with real people’s names, with real thought about what it might cost.  Could we do as well as they did?  Will we do as well as they did?  
    I worry that too many of us find excuses that have to do with “propriety.”  “How will we ever reach anyone if people think we approve of actions like that?” we rationalize. At what point will it ever look appropriate to support someone the world labels a troublemaker simply because he teaches the truth?  
    We use the word “stewardship” as our alibi.  “Why, if we go out of business, we will have less contact with the community and be unable to influence them,” we say to justify ourselves. .At what point will it ever be good stewardship of our wealth to put our financial future on the line in support of the truth and those who preach it?      
    So take a moment today and play the game, “Let’s pretend…”  Remember the example these faithful women have set, and others like them through the centuries.  Make sure that when the time comes, we don’t look for excuses.  Instead, we make our pretensions real, regardless the cost.

Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ,  so that whether I come and see you or am absent,  I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit,  with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents.  This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God, Phil 1:27,28.

Dene Ward

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Being Also Joint Heirs of the Grace of Life

3/3/2015 2 Comments

If husbands and wives are supposed to be partners on this journey to Heaven, we sometimes have a funny way of showing it.

    One of the most amazing examples Sarah set is not one we often talk about, and when we do, we miss what to me is the most important part.  Peter tells us in 1 Pet 3:6 that she called her husband “lord.”  Today that might translate better “sir,” but notice the only example Peter had of this:  Gen 18:12, where she is in a tent, away from the three “men” and talking “within herself.”  When she realizes these men heard her when they normally should not have been able to, she realizes who they are and becomes afraid.  Do you get it?  When she called him “lord,” she was not speaking to Abraham, but about him to herself, behind his back, so to speak, where he could not have heard her if he had wanted to.

    Now here is the point ladies, how do we speak about our husbands when they are not around?  Can my neighbors list his faults by now as well as I can?  Can my children?  Can my co-workers relate every mistake he’s ever made because I make sure I talk about them?  Does anyone who has anything to do with me wonder why I married such a jerk in the first place because that is the impression I have given them about this man I claim to love?  I have seen women, as the Proverb writer warns, tear down their houses with their own hands, or in this case, their own mouths.

    Do we even stop to consider the pictures others must have of our marriages by the things they see and hear?  No one should ever have to endure the embarrassment of standing in my kitchen while I berate my husband in front of them.  Do I ridicule and complain about his efforts to support me as well as the gifts he gives me?  Do I constantly correct every little detail—even those that do not make a whit’s worth of difference—when he tries to tell a story?  Do my friends know that I secretly do things he disapproves of?  We are not the daughters of Sarah when we act this way.

    But Peter does not let the husbands off the hook either.  In the same chapter, he tells them to dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman… v 7.  There is nothing honorable about the label, “my old lady.”  And here is a clue for you:  women do not generally appreciate male humor.  It is one thing to be able to laugh at yourself, but another thing entirely to have someone constantly make a laughingstock of you.  If she asks you not to tell a certain story yet again, or call her by a certain nickname in front of people, then don’t—not if you honor her.

    I have seen too many a man use up the prime of a woman’s life, then somehow think he has “outgrown” her.  More likely, his head has outgrown him.  But one of the most common complaints I hear is, “She let herself go.”  That always translates to gaining some weight.  Do you know how she gained that weight?  Fixing you the meat and potatoes meals you insist on and carrying your children.  Excuse me if the brag that you can still wear the same size jeans as you did in high school does not impress me—the only reason you can do that is you are fastening them six inches lower!  No wonder Malachi called such treatment “treachery” Mal 2:15.

      What in the world do we think we are telling people about our marriages and about ourselves when we engage in such insults?  After all, we do not live in a culture of arranged marriages—we chose our partners.  In actuality, we are insulting ourselves.

    Peter tells husbands that their treatment of their wives will affect whether their prayers are heard.  I have no difficulty believing the same is true for a wife’s treatment of her husband.  I don’t know about you, but I need God to hear my prayers.  I ask for forgiveness regularly and it’s the only way I know I can get it.  How about you?

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  This mystery is great…nevertheless do each one of you love his own wife even as himself, and let the wife see that she reverence her husband.  Eph 5:31-33   

Dene Ward

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Skimming the Genealogies

2/25/2015 2 Comments

I know you do it.  Even when you are participating in one of those “read the Bible through in a year” programs you do it.  Who in the world wants to read through So-and-so-jah begat So-and-so-iah verse after verse until you can hardly see straight?  But you need to do it once in awhile.  

    That’s how you find out that Samuel was not a hypocrite for condemning Saul’s sacrifice when he made sacrifices several times himself—his father may have been an Ephraimite, but he was a Levite living in Ephraim.

    That’s how you find out that Joab was David’s nephew, the son of his sister Zeruiah, which probably accounts for why he put up with so much from the rascal.

    That’s how you find out that David’s counselor Ahithophel, was Bathsheba’s grandfather, which puts a new spin on that story, and probably explains why he put his lot in with Absalom when he rebelled.  And all that is just the beginning of the amazing things you can discover when you read genealogies in the Bible.

    We also tend to overlook things like Deborah’s song of praise in Judges 5.  It’s just a poem, right?  We already read the important part in chapter 4.  Read chapter 5 some time.  You will discover exactly how God helped his people overcome Sisera’s army—he sent a storm that bogged down their chariots in the mud.  Foot soldiers do much better than chariots in a storm.  You will discover that the elders of Israel were applauded for a change—they actually did their jobs and did them willingly.  You will find out that several tribes did not help with the fighting and were roundly condemned for it.  You will find God’s opinion of Jael’s actions—no more arguing after He inspires Deborah to say, “Blessed above women shall Jael be.”

    And here’s one I found recently—the conversation and ensuing verses in 2 Samuel 12 after Nathan uttered those scalding words, “Thou art the man,” which is where we usually stop reading.  

    Verse 9—“You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword.”  David may have only ordered Uriah’s death, but God considered it exactly the same as doing the deed itself.  

    Verse 13—“The Lord has put away your sin.  You shall not die.”  Understand this--there was no sacrifice for adultery and murder because the sinners were summarily stoned.  That is what David expected, and the punishment God put aside.  Read Psalm 51 now.  David’s forgiveness happened immediately after his confession and repentance (v 12), but he repeatedly asks for it in the psalm which was written sometime later.  He understood the grace of God like never before.  Now that is godly repentance.

    Verse 15—“And the Lord afflicted the child.”  We keep trying to find ways out of statements like this, but they keep popping up.  Remember this:  God is in control.  He knows what He is doing.  There is a reason this child could not live, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t continue to live.  More on this in a minute.

    Verse 20—After the child died, David “went into the house of the Lord and worshiped.”  Why?  We could come up with a ton of reasons.  Ultimately I think he was showing his acceptance of God’s will, and sincere appreciation for the mercy he knew he did not deserve.  What do you think?  This one can keep a class going for several minutes worth of discussion, and a whole lot of soul-searching.  Would your first inclination after a tragedy—and punishment--be to worship God?

    Verse 22—“Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious and allow the child to live?”  First, this proves David’s faith in prayer.  He knew it was possible for God to change His mind simply because one of His children asked Him to.  Second, it shows that faith does not mean you know you will get what you prayed for.  Who knows? David asked.  No one does, except God.  Faith knows He is able to grant your petition, not that He will.

    Verse 23—“I will go to him.”  David believed in the innocence of his child.  He did not believe that child was born with Adam’s sin hanging over his head, totally depraved and unable to get out of it without the direct operation of the Holy Spirit or some rite involving water.  His child was clean and innocent and he looked forward to seeing him again because he was also sure of his forgiveness.

    Whoa!  Did you know all that was there?  I didn’t either, and this was at least the tenth time I have studied this story in depth (I thought).   What else are we missing?  

    The next time you do your Bible reading, think about what you are reading, even if it’s just a list of names or a poem or directions for how to build something.  God put what we needed to know in His Word.  Don’t you go deciding that you don’t need to know some of it.

…from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work, 2 Tim 3:15-17 .

Dene Ward

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It's All About Me

2/2/2015 0 Comments

I have studied Abigail for a few decades now but, just like always, I noticed something new this time through.  
    Most everyone knows the story:  a bad man married to a good woman, a woman who dares to stand against him and do right.  But let’s speculate a little—and it really isn’t much speculation at all.
    1 Sam 25:4 calls Nabal “a churlish and evil” man, or, in the ESV, “harsh and badly behaved.”  That is not the half of it.  Look at the way those two words were translated in other places.  “Churlish” is also “obstinate, hard, heavy, rough, stubborn, and cruel.”  “Evil” is “grievous, hurtful, and wicked.”  This man wasn’t just a grouch, he was mean and cruel, and it came from a wicked heart.
    Now imagine a “beautiful and discerning woman” married to such a man.  It almost had to be an arranged marriage—she certainly didn’t fall in love with him.  Since he is extremely rich and she is still in prime childbearing age (we find out later), he is probably older than she.  This is also a time when no one would have said anything about physical abuse.  As you keep reading in chapter 25, the man’s servants are clearly terrified of him.  I do not doubt for a moment that they had all suffered physical punishments from him, probably many unjust.  I wouldn’t even be surprised if Abigail hadn’t suffered the same.  God’s Law protected women from men in every way possible, but for a man like this the Law meant nothing.  
    So along comes David’s army, men who had protected Nabal’s servants from passing raiders by the way, which means his livestock--his wealth--were also protected, and David is now in need of provisions for several hundred men.  Surely this “very rich” man who was already in the middle of a celebration time when the food would be plenteous, v 4, 8, could spare some for them.  
    David carefully instructed his men exactly how to approach Nabal.  If you have one of the newer translations you will miss this.  ESV says they “greeted” him, v 5.  But that word is one that means far more than saying hello.  It can also be translated salute, praise, thank, congratulate, even kneel.  All those words involve respect and honor.  Yet Nabal drives them off with exactly the opposite attitudes—disrespect, dishonor, and ingratitude for their service to him.  “Who is this David?” he asks, accusing him of rebellion (v 10, 11), though Abigail knew exactly who he was (v 28, 30), the anointed of God.
    Abigail knows nothing about this event, but Nabal’s servants know plenty about her.  They come running, afraid for their lives for the way their master has treated a warrior and his army.  And Abigail saves the day, gathering up as much as she can and sending it on to David, riding up herself to reason with him and beg for their lives.  When she asks David to remember her, she isn’t asking him to save her from her lot in life.  She goes back to the man and the responsibilities she sees as hers.
    Now think about this.  What would happen today if something similar occurred to a beautiful young woman, stuck in a loveless marriage to a horrible man, a cruel man who probably beat his servants and maybe her as well?  Do you think she would have had any concern for anyone else?  
    Abigail was not so wound up in her own misery that she couldn’t see the misery of others.  She probably cared for the servants her husband abused.  She didn’t whine about not deserving this kind of life.  She didn’t expect everyone to wait on her hand and foot or bend over backwards for her because she was mistreated, nor did she fall into a useless heap of flesh because life was “unfair.”  She just “dealt with it.”  Instead of being a drama queen focused only on her own problems, she looked for ways to help others as the opportunity arose.  She did not allow her misery to blind her to the needs of others.  
    We could talk about her “going behind her husband’s back,” but let’s quickly notice this—she saved his life too, at least until God came into the picture and took it Himself.  “Looking to the good of others,” we call that nowadays and label it the highest form of love.  Abigail did this for everyone, including the undeserving, and regardless of who did and did not do it for her.
    Abigail understood this, and so should we:  it’s not about me, it’s about Him.

[Doing] nothing through faction or through vainglory, but in lowliness of mind each counting other better than himself; not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others, Phil 2:3,4.
    
Dene Ward

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Genes

12/16/2014 0 Comments

When I became a grandmother we had to jump through all the insurance hoops to make sure that Silas had not inherited more than my neonatal milk allergy.  I look into those big blue eyes that sparkle so when he smiles, trying to convince myself that they look more like his grandfather’s than mine.  Even if they looked exactly like mine, odds are he did not inherit the condition.  He may be 100 times more likely to have it than any other baby, but that still makes it a one in a million chance.  It happened that way with his uncle.  The minute they put him in my arms and I saw his eyes my heart froze, but seven months later we knew he had only inherited the look, not the problem.  Still, I would feel horrible if I passed this on to poor little Silas, or now Judah.
    There are worse things to pass on to one’s children and grandchildren.  And [Jehoram] walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as did the house of Ahab; for he had the daughter of Ahab to wife: and he did that which was evil in the sight of Jehovah... [Ahaziah] also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab; for his mother was his counselor to do wickedly… And Joram said, Make ready. And they made ready his chariot. And Joram king of Israel…went out to meet Jehu…And…he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, What peace, so long as the whoredoms of your mother Jezebel…are so many? 2 Chron 21:6; 22:3; 2 Kgs 9:21.
    Are you familiar with this narrative in the Bible?  Start in 1 Kings 16 and read through chapter 11 of 2 Kings some night when you want a really good story.  It is a little of everything:  a family saga; an action-adventure story; a political thriller.  It has a villainess of unspeakable cruelty, an underground movement, a mole in the hierarchy, and a hero who saves the day.  All of this was brought about by the evil influence Ahab and Jezebel had on their children and grandchildren.  
    Perhaps the worst of the bunch was Athaliah, their daughter, who reached the point that she could order the murder of “all the seed royal,” among them her own grandchildren.  I have always thought this woman’s crimes especially heinous but now, having held a grandchild in my arms, I know she must have reached a level of moral depravity nearly unheard of, at least among God’s people.  That is what her parents passed on to her, for the next generation always sees our inconsistencies, the line we will not cross because of the inhibiting baggage we have brought to the table.  They see that inconsistency and erase the line, taking what we have taught them to its logical end.
    I cannot control whether Silas and Judah will inherit my physical condition; but I can control my influence on their spiritual conditions.  I can set an example of faith that will reinforce theirs in moments of trial.  I can set an example of endurance to bolster their ability to overcome.  I can show them how a mature Christian behaves, even when people are less than accommodating.  Those things I can do, if I will.
    Having children is great motivation to be and do better.  Because the end may be in sight and priorities have become clearer, having grandchildren should be the best motivation yet.

I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers in a pure conscience, how unceasing is my remembrance of you in my supplications, night and day longing to see you, remembering your tears, that I may be filled with joy; having been reminded of the unfeigned faith that is in you; which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice; and, I am persuaded, in you also, 2 Tim 1:3-5.

Dene Ward

Sand Pears

11/26/2014 0 Comments

The first time I received a bushel of pears from a neighbor out here in the country I was disappointed.  I was used to the pears in the store, especially juicy Bartletts, and creamy, vanilla-scented Boscs.  As with a great many things here in this odd state, only certain types grow well, and they are nothing like the varieties you see in the seed and plant catalogues or on the Food Network shows.  We always called them Florida Pears, but recently learned they were Sand Pears, and in this sandy state that makes good sense.  They are hard and tasteless.  In fact, Keith and I decided you could stone someone to death with them.  We nearly threw them away.  
    Then an older friend told me what to do with them.  They make the best pear preserves you ever dripped over a biscuit—amber colored, clear chunks of fruit swimming in a sea of thick, caramel flavored syrup.  Then she made a cobbler and I thought I was eating apples instead of pears.  No, you don’t want to eat them out of hand unless they are almost overripe, but you most certainly do want to spoon out those preserves and dig into that cinnamon-scented, crunchy topped cobbler.  They aren’t pretty; they are hard to peel and chop; but don’t give up on them if you are ever lucky enough to get some.
    A lot of us give up on people out there.  We see the open sin in their lives and the culture they come from and decide they could never change.  Have you ever studied the Herods in the New Testament?  If ever there was a soap opera family, one that would even make Jerry Springer blush, it’s them.  They were completely devoid of “natural affection,” sons trying to assassinate fathers, and fathers putting sons and wives to death.  Their sex lives were an open sewer—swapping husbands at a whim; a brother and sister living together as a married couple; leaving marriages without even a Roman divorce and solely for the sake of power and influence.
    Yet Paul approaches Herod Agrippa II, the son of Herod Agrippa I who had James killed and Peter imprisoned, the grandnephew of Antipas who had John the Baptist imprisoned and killed after taking his brother’s wife, great-grandson of Herod the Great who had the babies killed at Jesus’ birth, a man who even then was living with his sister, almost as if he expected to convert him.  Listen to this:
    I consider myself fortunate that it is before you, King Agrippa, I am going to make my defense today against all the accusations of the Jews, especially because you are familiar with all the customs and controversies of the Jews. Therefore I beg you to listen to me patiently, Acts 26:2,3.
    Yes, I am sure there was some tact involved there, but did you know that Agrippa had been appointed advisor in Jewish social and religious customs?  Somehow the Romans knew that he had spent time becoming familiar with his adopted religion—during the time between the Testaments the Herods were forced to become Jews and then later married into the family of John Hyrcanus, a priest.  No, he didn’t live Judaism very well, but then neither did many of the Pharisees nor half the priesthood at that point.  But Agrippa knew Judaism, and Paul was counting on that.
    Paul then spends verses 9 through 23 telling Agrippa of the monumental change he had made in his own life.  Here was a man educated at the feet of the most famous teacher of his times, the rising star of Judaism, destined to the Sanhedrin at the very least, fame and probably fortune as well.  Look at the list of things he “counts as loss” in Philippians 3.  Yet this man gives it all up and becomes one of the hated group he had formerly imprisoned and persecuted to the death, forced to live on the charity of the very group he had hated along with a pittance from making a tent here and there.  Talk about a turnaround.  Do you think he told Agrippa his story just to entertain him?  Maybe he was making this point—yes, you have a lot to change, but if I could do it, so can you.
    In verse 27, he makes his final plea--King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets? I know you believe!  Paul had not given up on changing this man whom many of us would never have even tried to convert.  And it “almost” worked.
    Who have you given up on?  Who has a hard heart, a lifestyle that would be useless to anyone but God?  Who, like these pears, needs the heat of preaching and the sweet of compassion?  Who could change if someone just believed in them enough?
    Sand pears seem tasteless to people who don’t work with them, who don’t spend the time necessary to treat them in the way they require.  Are we too busy to save a soul that is a little harder than most?  Who took the time to cook you into a malleable heart for God?  It’s time to return the favor.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. And I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses... Ezek 36:26-29.

Dene Ward

The Hero of the Story

11/25/2014 0 Comments

I have a problem.  I believe that life is a book and I am the hero of the story.  Everything anyone does is done with me in mind because I am the central character.  Any time I rub shoulders with another person in my daily life, that person did it solely because he wanted to hurt me, or inconvenience me, or insult me, or otherwise bother my life. 
    What is really happening is that person thinks his life is a book and he is the hero, and I am the one causing him trouble.  The things I often get so upset about are nothing more than an accidental crossing of paths or an idiosyncrasy that, in my own self-centeredness, I have decided to take as a personal offense when the other person was not directing it toward me at all.
    And in the same vein, I think everything is supposed to turn out wonderfully, a happily ever after for all my goodness and faithfulness, because I am the hero after all.  Admit it:  you have the same problem, and it can cost us our souls if we are not careful.
    I think of John the Baptist, a man whose birth was announced by the same angel who announced Jesus’ birth.  He gave up any semblance of a normal life to fulfill the mission God gave him.  If not for John’s preaching, what would have become of Christianity?  If it took several years for the men who actually walked with Jesus to figure things out, what of the masses if John had not worked so hard to prepare them for the coming of the kingdom?  The thought of 3000 being baptized on the Day of Pentecost would have been nothing more than a pipe dream.
    John also gave up what others might have expected in the way of glory.  He watched Jesus begin his ministry and gradually take away many of his own disciples.  For all his sacrifice this is the thanks he gets?  John did not look for thanks.  Indeed, as his ministry waned and an unjust death at about the age of 31 loomed, his remaining disciples came to him complaining about Jesus’ growing popularity as if it were an affront to John.  John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it have been given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness that I said, I am not the Christ, but, that I am sent before him. He that has the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is made full. He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:27-30.
    It may have been written many years after his death, but John understood the true meaning of to them that love God all things work together for good, Rom 8:28.  He understood because he recognized the part that we ignore:  according to his purpose. For whom he foreknew, he also foreordained to be conformed to the image of his Son that he might be the firstborn among many brethren: and whom he foreordained, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified, vv 29,30.  John knew he was not the hero of the story.  He knew that he need not expect this life to be a bed of roses with a happy ending. 
    He also knew that the purpose of God for which he worked was to give everyone the opportunity to be saved, and that was the good for which all things worked together.  If it took his not being able to have a family, if it took living a meager existence in the wilderness, if it took his murder, he was willing to bear it.
    If John could have that attitude, a man who lived a short, strange, sacrificial life and died a martyr by the hand of a ruthless woman and her weak husband, why can’t we who live relatively normal, happy, safe lives? 
    There will be trials.  There will be moments of grief.  The life we live here may not have the happy ending we always dreamed of, but the purpose of God will make it seem like a mere trifle if we just stop thinking everything is about us, and remember who the real Hero is. 

Therefore let us also, seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and hath sat down at the right hand of the throne of God, Heb 12:1,2.

Dene Ward

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The Naomi Project 5--Grandchildren

11/24/2014 0 Comments

If you really want to hurt a woman, hurt her children.  If you think no one would do such a thing, you haven’t been to as many places as I have nor lived as long. 
    I have seen grandmothers pass their favoritism on to the next generation.  If one child is not particularly liked, then his children won’t be either.
    I have seen grandmothers show that favoritism in gifts, in words, and most shameful of all, in hugs.  I have seen grandchildren pitted against one another, one side always believed over the other, regardless of evidence.  I have seen grandchildren used to create tension between their parents, either siblings of one another, or spouses.
    Children should be sacred ground when it comes to family squabbles.  You never hurt a child, regardless whose he is.  If there is something unnatural about a mother hurting her own child, there is something just plain loathsome about a grandmother doing it.  Isn’t that why the story of Athaliah, the wicked queen who had all her grandchildren killed to secure her own reign, horrifies us?  Women like that deserve the worst of punishments, and God made sure Athaliah got hers.
    Then there is the matter of “blood.”  I have seen blood grandchildren obviously favored over adopted.  I have seen step-grandchildren totally ignored.  A child cannot help where he came from.  If he has been specially chosen to be in the family, he should be treated as family as much as any other child—he IS family.
    Naomi is the perfect example.  Ruth was her daughter-in-law, not her daughter.  Boaz may have been a distant relative, but he was not her son.  Yet how did she accept their child?  So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son…Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her lap and became his nurse, Ruth 4:13,16.  According to Keil, “became his nurse” is tantamount to adopting him as her own son, not just her grandson.  Could she have made her love and acceptance of this child any clearer?
    Surely a grandmother should not need to be told to love her grandchildren.  Even if there is some legitimate reason for an estrangement with their parents, do not take it out on the children.  It is not their fault how their parents act.  The list of pagan sins in Romans 1:28-32 includes “without natural affection” in the KJV and ASV.  That is translated “heartless” in the ESV.  Only a heartless grandmother refuses her grandchildren.  Only a heartless mother-in-law does it to retaliate against a daughter- or son-in-law. 
    Naomi’s love and acceptance of Ruth in all the ways we have discussed made for a relationship that has transcended the ages.  Ruth returned that love with her own genuine affection, with acceptance, and with the physical care every older parent has a right to expect.  Naomi and Ruth were not physically related in any way at all, but they treated one another as if they were, in fact, better than some blood relatives treat one another.  This is the way it is supposed to work.  May we all work harder to make it happen in our own homes.

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife; and he went in unto her, and Jehovah gave her conception, and she bare a son. And the women said unto Naomi, Blessed be Jehovah, who has not left you this day without a near kinsman; and let his name be famous in Israel. And he shall be unto you a restorer of life, and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him, Ruth 4:13-15

Dene Ward

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Hannah and Prayer

11/20/2014 0 Comments

Most of us know the story of Hannah who asked God for a son and promised to give him back.  She certainly made an amazing vow and an astounding sacrifice I can scarcely understand.  But do we consider her many examples in prayer?

    Hannah was the second wife of a man of Ephraim, a Levite (1 Chron 6:33-38) named Elkanah.  The story reminds me a bit of Leah and Rachel, except that Hannah  and Peninnah were not sisters, and Hannah, the favored wife, was far more righteous and God-fearing than Rachel, who stole her father’s household gods (Gen 31:19) and nagged Jacob to death about her inability to conceive as if it were his fault (Gen 30:1,2).  Going to God was Rachel’s last resort, after first badgering Jacob, then offering her handmaid (Gen 30:3) and finally using mandrakes (Gen 30:14), the aphrodisiac of the day.  You should take a few minutes sometime and read the meanings of her children’s names (by her handmaid) if you want a flavor of her mindset, and compare them with the names of Leah’s children.  Then of course, there was Joseph.  When God answered her prayer for her own child, she named him, “Give me another one.”  Look at the marvelous contrast of Hannah, who after asking for a child and receiving him, gave him up to God, with no promise that she would ever have another.

    Hannah shows us what prayer is supposed to be—not some halfhearted muttering of ritual phrases, but a “pouring out of the soul” 1 Sam 1:15.  She prayed so fervently that Eli, watching her, thought she was drunk.  As she told Eli, “Out of the abundance of my complaint and my provocation have I spoken” v 16.  Her prayer life was such that her relationship with Jehovah gave her the confidence to tell him exactly how she felt, in the plainest of speech, evidently.  You do not speak to someone that way unless you have spent plenty of time with him and know him intimately.  Are we that close to God?

    She also teaches us what prayer should do for us.  Look at the contrast between v 10 and v 18.  Before her prayer “she was in bitterness of soul…and wept sore.”  Afterward, she “went her way and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad.” 

    Of course, Hannah had the reassurances of a priest and judge that God would give her what she had prayed for, but don’t we have the assurance of the Holy Spirit through the word He gave that God listens and answers our prayers?  Shouldn’t we exhibit some measure of ease after our prayers?    In whom do we have our faith?  If the doctors say it is hopeless, do we pray anyway?  Do we carry our umbrellas, even though the weatherman says, “No rain in sight?”  Do we pray on and on and on, even when it seems that what we ask will never come to pass?  God does not run by a timetable like we do.  Hannah had the faith that says, “It’s in God’s hands now,” and she was able to get on with her life.  Life does go on, no matter which answer we get, and God expects us to continue to serve Him with a “thy will be done” attitude.

    “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much,” James tells us in 5:16.  Hannah shows us it works for righteous women as well.  Can people tell by our lives that we believe it?

Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.  From the end of the earth will I call unto you, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For you have been a refuge to me, a strong tower from the enemy.  I will dwell in your tabernacle forever.  I will take refuge in the covert of your wings.  Psa 61:1-4

Dene Ward


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The Naomi Project 4--Advisor

11/17/2014 2 Comments

Is there anything more ticklish than the subject of advice between the older and younger generations?  Yet the Bible clearly teaches that older women are “to train the young women,” Titus 2:4, among many other passages.  So why is giving advice such a source of friction?  Naomi gave an awful lot of advice that was well-accepted.  Maybe we can learn a thing or two from her.
    In the first place, we don’t see much advice given in the book of Ruth until the two women return to Israel.  This was a brand new experience, a brand new culture with a new set of traditions for Ruth, and Naomi knew it.  So did Ruth.  She had no familiarity with the gleaning system of “welfare” practiced by the Hebrews.  Even though it reads as if she were the one to suggest her gleaning, she would not have known the laws unless Naomi had previously taught her.  And so Naomi likely told her, “This is how it’s done,” and she listened because she knew she needed it to get along in her new environment.
    Do you give advice when you have a different way of doing ordinary things, or when you know your daughter-in-law is in a completely new situation?  Young people nowadays are very well educated, so I have tried to keep quiet unless asked, but once in awhile the asking can be done with a sigh of frustration.  If you aren’t sitting there trying to change all of her methods simply because they don’t match yours, and if there has been some indication that it is wanted, your advice will probably be graciously accepted.  And if, after trying it out, she decides not to follow it, that’s fine.  Don’t mention it again.  We all have our own comfortable ways of doing things. 
    Don’t be judgmental about your advice.  Just because she uses more convenience food than you did, doesn’t mean she is a bad wife and mother.  Probably the time saved she uses on something that was not your talent and that you did not have time for because you cooked from scratch.  Despite modern catch phrases, you can’t do it all, and different doesn’t always mean worse.
    Remember, as we have seen previously, Naomi had carefully nurtured this relationship with acceptance, love, and friendship.  If you haven’t done that, don’t even try to give advice. Pay close attention to Naomi’s motivation.  Some of her advice came with the name of God attached (2:20).  Other times it was for the sake of Ruth’s safety (2:22), or for her future welfare and reputation (3:1ff).  Why, exactly, are you giving advice?  Is it to impart the will of the Lord?  Is it a matter of health and safety?  Or do you simply think she should fold the towels the same way you do?  If you are giving advice for every little petty thing that comes along, especially if it comes with that disapproving nasal whine we all recognize, it’s time to stop.  If it comes with a tone of superiority, don’t bother.  You might as well be holding up a sign saying, “Don’t pay any attention to me,” because she won’t.  You wouldn’t either if it were your mother-in-law.
    Listen to the way young women give each other advice.  Never a hint of superiority or criticism, just simple sharing—“This worked for me…I read this once…I never tried it myself, but my neighbor said…”  Their advice never comes with the unspoken but clearly heard, “And if you don’t do it my way, I’m going to take it as a personal affront.”  No wonder they go to their peers for advice instead of us older women.  But no wonder Ruth listened to Naomi.  Ruth’s attitude toward advice in chapters 2-4 testifies to the manner in which Naomi must have advised and taught in those early years of chapter 1. 
    So, all mothers-in-law out there listen to Naomi!  Giving advice is about content, manner, and motive.  It should be given seldom, carefully, and for all the right reasons.  I hope I’m getting better at it.

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his [or her!] earnest counsel, Prov 27:9.

Dene Ward