It has to be one of the most common teaching experiences. You realize a person needs to make an adjustment in his life so, rather than coming out and saying, "You know you have an issue you need to work on," instead of just blasting them in the face with it, you tell a story whose moral makes it obvious that it refers to them. So obvious, you think, that you almost cringe waiting for the blowback. And what happens? They agree quickly that the people in your story certainly need to change their ways, and then walk off smiling and nodding in agreement. Tell me that has not happened to you. Ultimately, what good have you done except to raise your frustration level?
Yet nowadays, I am hearing from more and more people who are members of various congregations, that is the only way one should "correct" a sinner—be so vague that they never get the point, but also—what seems to be most important—they are never offended. Has their spiritual state changed? No, they are still in sin because they were covered with so much verbal bubble wrap that they never even knew they were being corrected.
Making application to oneself must be the most difficult part of learning. Not just seeing one's sin, but seeing when some other choice might be wiser than one's own actions. Our American pride has made us all averse to admit we have been wrong about anything at all, whether sin or simple foolishness.
And how do I know this? Nathan told a story to David that seems to us to be obviously referring to David's sin (2 Samuel 12). David could immediately see the sin in the rich man's actions, but did he ever think it applied to him too? Not for one minute. He never got it until Nathan took his life in his hands and said to the king, "You are the man."
We are teaching a class now in which we have spent a good amount of time talking about asking for advice when one needs it, listening to others when they give that advice or give correction, and doing both without resentment. The Proverb writer tells us again and again that becoming angry when corrected is the way of the fool, and yet we cannot seem to apply that one either. It hurts my feelings to be told I'm wrong. What did Jesus say about such things? And be not afraid of them that kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell Matt10:28. There is something a whole lot more important than feelings at stake here.
Severe punishment awaits anyone who wanders off the path— anyone who despises reproof will die Prov15:10
Dene Ward
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