Seeking advice is a God-authorized activity. Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life Prov19:20. I must have found a hundred passages that say the same thing in nearly as many different ways. One of the main reasons for the church is for us to encourage each other, advise each other, edify and even rebuke each other when necessary. God surrounds us with older, wiser people who have been through what we are now going through and who want more than anything to help us get through it without the pain they incurred. Listen to them!
Unfortunately, very few do. I have watched again and again with tears and heartbreak as people I love either refuse to even ask for advice or listen to the wrong advice from the wrong people, and ultimately, make mistakes they did not have to make. When I am online seeing to this blog, answering questions, getting rid of spam, wracking my brain for yet another post to try to help those who take the time to read, I also check the blog's Facebook page and in the process more than once have seen yet another young wife or mother go to the wrong person for advice. The lesson of Solomon's son Rehoboam falls on deaf ears again and again.
Then King Rehoboam consulted with the elders who had served his father Solomon when he was alive, asking, “How do you advise me to respond to these people? ” They replied, “Today if you will be a servant to these people and serve them, and if you respond to them by speaking kind words to them, they will be your servants forever.” But he rejected the advice of the elders who had advised him and consulted with the young men who had grown up with him and served him1Kgs12:6-8. Ultimately, he took the advice of young men who had never been king, had never tried to run a kingdom, and certainly had never cared for the citizens of that kingdom as a godly king should. That is why the nation of Israel divided—an arrogant young man refused to take good advice.
Recently I saw a post on childrearing that was linked by a young Christian woman. I had never heard of this blog or the person writing it, but when I followed the link I was appalled. The advice this young mother thought so wonderful came from a stripper! I wanted to cry. Why, oh why wouldn't she go where the Bible tells us to go—to people who are faithful to God? And the only answer I could get from reading her own words was that she did not like the advice she got from them. Like Rehoboam, she was in the market for advice, but only advice she wanted to hear.
The only way advice will do you any good is to be teachable. If you already have your mind made up, you will never learn anything. Once you have decided to seek advice you must find someone who has been there and successfully navigated the waters you find yourself floundering in. For example, if it's childrearing you need help with, look for someone who has raised godly children. The more difficult part may be to find someone who loves you and has enough strength to tell you what you do not want to hear. Most people know exactly what will happen if you tell someone they are wrong about something—you might just lose a friend—so they won't do it. If you find someone who loves you enough to tell you what you need to hear, love them back by listening and not getting angry. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are profuse Prov27:6. We all have blind spots. It takes someone else to see them—or they wouldn't be called blind spots! Ask that someone and believe what they tell you. They are not making this up. Be not wise in your own eyes; Fear Jehovah… Prov3:7.
When we talk about being Bible believing people that should cover every aspect of our lives, not just how we worship or the steps to salvation. It means when God says go to certain people for advice, then if you believe His Word, that is what you will do. Please, please be careful who you seek out for counsel and do not let your own opinions get in the way of following it. Your family is counting on you.
But you must say the things that are consistent with sound teaching. Older men are to be level headed, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may teach the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered Titus2:1-5.
Dene Ward
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