I remember sitting at my desk in first grade looking at my middle finger and wondering what that bump was. I did not see well, of course, so all I could tell was that it stuck out and seemed to be hard and tough. My mother told me when I asked, that I had developed a callus from the constant writing and coloring we did at school. “That way your finger won’t hurt from the pencil rubbing on it over and over.” It seemed a pretty nifty idea to me, at age 6, that God had arranged it so I could go to school and do my work without hurting myself. Plenty of other things hurt in my world of poor vision and the resulting clumsiness and rejection from my peers, so here was one thing that did not. Very nice!
As I grew older I found other calluses, things I would not have noticed except for that brief conversation with my mother. Calluses on the backs of my heels and calluses on the side of my big toe made it comfortable to wear shoes, for example. I even remember waiting for calluses to form with a new pair of shoes that rubbed me in a new way, usually wearing a Band-Aid until that happened. Overall, my impression was that calluses were a good thing.
(I feel a need to clarify that I am not speaking of the adjective callous—which means someone who cares nothing for others, who is actively insensitive to their needs.)
Now that I am old but not necessarily wise, I am more and more certain that God intends us to grow calluses on our hearts in at least one area—that is our dealings with one another. Dealings with God are a different thing—we must maintain a soft and penitent heart constantly when we approach God, but with one another, the majority of passages tell me that a few good calluses will help us maintain the unity that God demands. Look at these passages with me:
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things 1Cor13:7. If I love my brother I will assume the best about what he does or says, not jump to the worst possible conclusions.
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins 1Pet 4:8. Peter cannot possibly be talking about actual sins—nowhere in the Bible is condoning sin acceptable to God. This must be a metaphor for the way we treat those little annoyances we all have (even if we don’t want to believe it of ourselves) and must deal with in our relationships. Overlook those things, Peter says, if you really love one another. In other words, grow a callus there.
Take care then HOW you hear...Luke8:18. Some of us hear with automatic judgment already formed in our hearts. How do I know? Because I would not have received the same thing said by my best friend in such a negative way. I would have automatically excused her because she has so much on her plate right now, or she must be tired, or maybe she doesn’t feel well today, or— Jesus reminds us that it is our choice how we hear a person’s words, even one we don’t much like. Choice, we ask? Yes, and this passage proves it.
We are members of the Lord’s body, the church that was planned by God before the foundation of the world, (Eph 3:10,11). Our mission is the only thing that really matters. Not my feelings, not my opinions, not my preferences. If I allow any of those things to stop that mission, or deter it in any way, I have made me, myself, and I more important than God. Being “sensitive” is no excuse. God expects us to grow enough calluses on our hearts so that we can withstand the friction of our closeness with one another and do HIS work. Look at those passages again. When I don’t do those things, I am not loving as God expects me to—as God COMMANDS me to.
We all know people who make a career out of getting their feelings hurt. Just imagine where we would all be if Jesus were as hypersensitive as some of us. Don’t let your sensitive feelings turn you out of Heaven on the last day.
...The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult Prov12:16.
Dene Ward
Comments